Non-existent Nipple piercings, work insanity, and cute shoes.

Good morning my darlings.

(Photo above – is thanks to Chica Dibujo cafe on Pinterest).

I’ve actually just started getting back into Pinterest lately and I love it.

I finally have a day off.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a cup of coffee and semi-silence.

I say semi-silence because my little guy is playing his video games in the living room, but he has the T.V. on low, so I can still think. ha.

I’m just going to share whatever is on my heart and in my mind today, and some funnies of course!

Let’s start with Friday and what it’s like being a working mom. πŸ€”

So-called sick and the NIPPLE PIERCINGS story:

You’re probably like – WHAT THE HELL?!

Wait for it!

So, on Friday – I ended up working for one of the lead staff who didn’t feel like going in because she was going through burnout, and I get that, so I went in for her. Plus, I could always use the extra money.

That morning, my little dude tried to stay home from school and say he didn’t feel well – because he heard that his good friend he plays online with – was able to stay home because HE didn’t feel well. I giggled and told him, “Absolutely NOT – because even if you stay home from school, you’re not playing video games when you say you don’t feel well”. He went to school.

I was sitting at work, and the school nurse called me. She said my little dude didn’t feel good, and she wanted to know if she could give him some medicine and send him back to class. I giggled and told her how he tried to stay home that morning and why, and I said he was fine. She had no doubt he was fine because he had no fever, and he wasn’t sneezing, coughing, etc. She tried to put his mind at ease by giving him some medicine and sending him back to class, telling him that if anything else was wrong – he could come back.

An hour later, my older son messages me and says that my daughter tried to call me, but I didn’t answer. She wanted him to get ahold of me – to let me know that she was caught with her cell phone and it was taken away.

I asked if he was serious and he said yes.

As I’m trying to work – I’m dealing with knowing that my little dude is going to go right back to the nurse and try to come home again, and now I had to deal with my daughter and this phone situation.

For those who don’t know – her high school is one of the schools that implemented these goofy Yondr pouches that students have to lock their cell phones in while at school, and they get them unlocked at the end of the day. If you don’t know – I’ve been against these things from the beginning of this new rule years ago, and I tried to tell the principal that my daughter is NOT putting her phone in the pouch, and she WILL be keeping it on her.

I’m all for my daughter following rules and listening to authority, but this is one rule I didn’t want to play by.

As a parent who already lost one child, my mama heart is so scared to not be able to get ahold of my kids – wherever they are – if they’re out of my sight.

We have a town siren that goes off for three reasons. A tornado / bad weather, when it’s noon, and calling for volunteer firefighters when something happens. So, whenever it goes off – my daughter will message me and say she’s fine and everything is fine if she’s at school. It makes me feel better, puts my mind at ease, and I don’t have to call the office for every little thing to make sure everything is good.

She’s had her phone in her sports bra for the last few years, and it’s worked out great.

I felt even better when I found out that other parents were making sure their students put their phones in their belt buckles, in their back pockets, in their boots, or wherever they needed to hide it. Some kids have used burner phones to put in the pouches and kept their real phones on them. So, I’m not the only parent who doesn’t agree with these Yondr pouches, and truthfully – if I were a principal – there wouldn’t be any Yondr pouches.

If something were to happen, I’d much rather have a bunch of worried and concerned parents in the parking lot – that remain calm and let the police do their jobs – because they’ve been able to reach their students by cell phones and know their child is okay – rather than a bunch of parents losing their minds pushing past police – and trying to find their kids.

I’ve tried to fight this policy, and it went nowhere.

The school has told me that students can call their parents from the office phone, but what if something happens or there’s a lockdown, and they can’t get to the office phone? I’ve argued that as well, and they had no real answers for me, but they insisted they were keeping the pouches as a new policy years ago.

Anyway, my daughter isn’t the only one who has had her phone on her for years. So, when I called the school on Friday, the office lady – (who I get along just fine with) told me she isn’t the only one who was caught. She giggled a bit and said there’s piles of phones in the office from students who were caught as well, and that if I wanted to come get her phone, I could do so.

One of the other lead staff at work was amazing at looking out for me and told me to go. I told her I’d be right back.

So, I drove to the school, went inside and as soon as I saw the principal, I smiled and joked with her. I asked how those Yondr pouches are working out for her – because obviously if that many students had their phones on them, they found ways around it, and they’re going to continue to find ways around it. I asked if she was still going to continue to use them, and she said she thinks they’re working on great and plans to continue to use them. She also said it’s her job to continue to search students.

She smiled and told me that my daughter tried telling her over and over again that she has NIPPLE PIERCINGS, and that’s why the wand went off when they wanded her. No, my daughter does NOT and will NEVER have NP’s, but I giggled when the principal told me this. My daughter joked a few times that she’d say that if she ever got wanded, but I didn’t know she’d actually say it, and she did.

When I talked to my daughter, she said she would have stuck to that story, but she felt bad because the principal tilted her head a bit, and told my daughter, “Lani, please make job easier”. So, my daughter – (who has always been taught to be honest and tell the truth) – took out her phone and handed it to the principal. The principal thanked her for being honest finally and told her that her phone would be in the office.

I asked the principal why my daughter was even wanded, and I was told that they had a K-9 (drug and gun sniffing dog) come in that day – that went to all the classes for searches, and I know they do that randomly, so it’s common for them to do these things. She said any student who wasn’t able to take off their hoodie or didn’t want to – got wanded, and my daughter didn’t have a T-shirt under her hoodie, so she’s one of the ones who couldn’t and got wanded. The wand of course – beeped, and it wasn’t because of any piercings of course!

From what I hear, students are already coming up with new, creative ways to hide their phones, so do I think this is going to stop it? No. Do I think they’re just going to get better at hiding them? Yes.

Thankfully, the students that got caught with phones – aren’t in trouble, but I do think that the school is going to be more aware, do more searches, and keep on top of this from now on. Again, I know it’s wrong for going against the school policy all these years – but it has given me peace of mind that if something happens – I can easily contact my daughter because she has her phone, and she has felt better having her phone on her because there’s been times things are going on, parents get no calls, and my daughter has been able to message me.

Example:

The high school went into lockdown a few years back because there were four fights going on at once – that turned into a big group brawl on the first floor from what I heard.

Parents did get calls that day – that the school was on lockdown, and I was a nervous wreck. I tried calling my daughter over and over because I knew she had her phone, and she wasn’t answering. I didn’t even care if I got a ticket that day, but I was on my way home from the nearest city and stepped on the gas to get to the school. If a cop tried to stop me, he could write me a ticket at the school, but as a parent – my heart dropped and I was so worried.

Thankfully – BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER HAD HER CELL PHONE ON HER – she was able to message me and tell me, “Mom, I’m okay. I’m on the 2nd floor. They won’t let anyone down or anyone come up”. She was also able to text me when the lockdown lifted, and she was in her next class, so I was able to slow down, do the speed limit and I felt so much better.

Thus – the reason they should do away with these Yondr pouches.

Some parents love them and agree with it. I’m not one of those parents. HELL, I’ve seen teachers disagree with the policy. So, we all have our different opinions. Anyway, I just thought the Nipple piercing story she really did try to give – was hilarious.

I got her phone and went back to work. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, my phone rings and it’s the school nurse stating that my son is back in her office, and says he has a headache and wants to throw up. I shook my head and laid my head back on my headrest in the car – because being a working parent – is not for the weak, and parenting never stops – even when you’re at work. I told the nurse to let me talk to him, and I convinced him to go back to class, try to finish the day, and that it’s Friday, so if he doesn’t feel good – he has all weekend to rest.

He played video games all weekend with no issues and hasn’t complained once – about not feeling well. 🀣

****

Work and attachment:

You all know I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some criminals, drug and alcohol addicts.

I’ve talked about it before. You also know how much I love my job if you’ve followed my blog and have read it for so long.

Yes, there’s days that are wild and I don’t get to sit down and catch a break, and there’s some days that are a lot of fun. There are some days that are super boring and nothing happens at all, so I get to sit down, relax, and just kick back until it’s time to leave.

This weekend – was insane.

We have a little elderly woman that I’ll call “Daisy”. I absolutely love Daisy and she’s become like an aunt to me. I joked that I was just there recruiting my new family. She gives words of wisdom, and she’s hilarious when she wants to be, but she’s also a little firecracker and you’d never know that she could wreck so much havoc just by looking at her. Some people describe her as “dangerous”.

Still, she makes me laugh and drives me crazy all at the same time. 😁

I’ve grown to adore her, and to watch the cameras closely when she’s out and about because she WILL cause trouble. lol. It’s wild that I say those two things in the same sentence, but it’s true.

Unfortunately, she has been asked to leave the facility by the end of the month because she’s got so many write-ups, and she’s always in the middle of whatever is going on. It breaks my heart to know she won’t be there anymore after next week; I won’t see her, I won’t have to watch the cameras when she’s out and about, and my days at work may get a little calmer. I don’t know if I want that calm or if I’ve gotten used to the madness at work, but I’ll definitely miss her craziness.

On Friday, she was on a roll.

She was going off about anything and everything. She was going off on everyone. She was yelling. She was complaining. She was screaming about different things, and she promised she wasn’t screaming at me – but more so – screaming at everything going on – and venting TO me. She vented about lead staff. She vented about people who live there and are on her “shit list”. She vented about her write-ups, and all kinds of things, and I just let her. I knew she was angry. I knew she needed to let it all out.

She also told me she was going to “raise hell until she leaves”. I kind of made her smile when I so seriously told her, “Please don’t do that! Especially on the weekends when my son and I are here”. She promised me she wouldn’t raise hell on the weekends when we’re there, but Saturday – oh Lord! She raised hell and took it to the max while we were there – from the time we walked in, to the time we left – we were both busy chasing Daisy around and getting her to behave.

At one point, she was yelling at another tenant / resident, and I told her she promised she would be good on the weekends. She yelled, “I didn’t promise shit!”. I told her she really did. She said she doesn’t remember that.

Saturday, she was chasing people, looking for people to curse out that she doesn’t like, going off on people, and just doing some off the wall – wild stuff. My son dealt with her the first half of our shift and got her to go back to her room finally, and the 2nd half of the shift, I was already done with it. I grabbed my walkie and told my son, “I got this!”, and I headed upstairs to where she did NOT belong.

As soon as I got up there and she saw me, she yelled, “WHAT?”.

I looked at her, raised my head a bit and told her:

I told her she needed to go downstairs to her room before I pick her up and carry down the stairs. I tried joking with her, but that didn’t work.

She yelled back, “I’m going to push you down the stairs. What are you going to do about that?”.

I smiled and told her, “Please don’t!”. She kept screaming, so the entire 2nd floor could hear her, and yelling that she doesn’t “give a f****”. Eventually, she looked down at her feet and so calmly said, “Hey! My socks don’t match!”. I laughed and told her, “Neither do mine today!”. I told her I just grabbed two that were clean and threw them on because I hadn’t matched socks after laundry yet.

I told her if she came downstairs with me, I’d give her juice and snacks or whatever she wanted. She said she didn’t want any of that, but that she’d come downstairs with me. She asked if I wanted to race, and she blamed her mismatched socks for the reason she lost. 🀣

I thought all was okay, but then she started screaming on the first floor – about different things that pissed her off.

She kept telling me she wasn’t yelling at me, but she needed to let me know everything going on that lead staff doesn’t want to talk about or deal with. I told her I understood. I tried to sympathize with her, and she grabbed papers and a pen from the suggestion box – to write down whatever she wanted to say to lead staff. She told me she was going to “take this place down”. I made her laugh when she tried to start writing and the cap was still on. I told her, “Daisy, you have to take the pen cap off if you’re going to take this place down and write your little heart off!”.

Saturday, she drove us crazy and she was all over the place causing issues. So many incident reports were written on her, and she was furious with our director. So much, that she wanted us to call her in, so she could confront her. I told her I wasn’t doing that, and she could see the director when she came in this week.

Yesterday (Sunday):

She was better.

She stood in the hallway and talked to me for almost three hours.

We laughed so much, and she was fun yesterday. I was strict with her yesterday and told her that she at least has to behave until 3 PM – when I leave. She looked at the clock and so hilariously asked, “Just until 3?”. I told her, “Just until 3 at least!”. She said she guesses she can do that, and she did!

She actually behaved for me.

I had to laugh when she started getting a bit wild about 2:45, and I told her she better be good for the next shift. She told me, “Nuh – uh! You said until 3 PM, and I only have 15 minutes left!”. lmfao. She had me laughing so much yesterday. I’m not even joking when I tell you that at 3 PM on the dot – one of our other tenants / residents came down and told us that Daisy punched him in the head. He was laughing about it, and so were we – when he didn’t even want a report written up and just said, “I’m okay, but that little woman has a fierce punch!”. He didn’t say why she punched him, but he said she was mad about something.

Listen. At least she kept it bottled up until our shift ended like she promised.

Still – a part of me is sad that she has to leave. There’s one other that drives us insane, but he’s been asked to leave as well.

These things are never easy, and I know we get told not to get attached to our tenants / residents, but there’s a piece of us that starts to care for them on a personal level. There’s a part of us that starts to love them like family, and we do get attached. So, to think we may never see them again – it’s heartbreaking in a way.

At the same time – many of them have grown to love us, and a lot of them always tell my son and I – that we’re the best employees they’ve gotten in a long time. They know we care and we want the best for them.

It also broke my heart this weekend when I was telling one of the ladies who likes to sit and talk to us – that we may move this summer. She asked where and I told her we are trying to get closer to IL. but possibly Wisconsin. She looked so sad, and I told her we’d come back to visit often. She killed me when she told me, “That’s what everyone tells us, but once they leave – they never come back and visit us”. They’ve seen so many staff members come and go, but when they get close to staff – it breaks their hearts even more when staff leaves and lies to them about coming back to visit.

They already have trust issues from their pasts, so to have staff that leave – lie and say they’ll come visit and don’t – I don’t want to be a part of that. I really do want to come back and vacation here in Minnesota from time to time and visit them. I want them to trust me and see that I will come see them and check in here and there.

I also plan to give some of them my personal number, so they can call and check in, and I can see how they’re doing, and so some of them can call me and talk if they need someone to listen. I’ve seen them at their bests, and I’ve seen them at their worsts, and they always push through whatever they go through. ❀️

We also know that at this job, we have to stay professional and just numb ourselves to those who leave and can’t come back, or those we lose for other reasons. When I first started this job, I got super close to this one woman I’ll call “Shannon”. She and I used to always joke around, and I’d tell her boyfriend not to come downstairs without my homegirl. She passed away a few weeks after I met her.

And – just like nurses and doctors who lose patients – we staff at this job – have to numb our feelings and go on with our work.

So, I continue to love this job and do what I can for people. I continue to show up and love everyone there. I continue to listen. To try to help. To be there for our residents, and to try to make them laugh when I can.

I had one of our younger co-workers yesterday – tell my son and I that she HATES when we’re there because everyone is so “chatty”.

I took it personal because we’re a lot of fun. What do you mean you HATE when we’re there? She meant that, too!

My son told me he feels like it’s jealousy because not everyone comes and talks to her – like they talk to us.

Not everyone comes and gifts her things – like they gift us things they’ve made.

Not everyone calls or comes to the office to say goodbye to her – like they do to us when our shifts end.

He told me not to take it personal, but her little comments sometimes – are wild.

I try not to say anything back to her because I know she’s only 18. I’m not petty, and as someone way older than her – I try to keep my calm with her comments and laugh it off. I did say something like, “Why? We’re a lot of fun when we’re here! Many love us for it, and some hate us for it!”. When I said that “some hate us for it” comment, it was directed at her. Still, I tried to bite my tongue further and not take it too far.

She’s young and many of her comments in the past have been unnecessary, but still – I always try to remember I’m way older, and it’s not worth any comments I can make back. I don’t need to be petty, and I try to always remain funny, professional, and kind.

So, we go to work. Love everyone there. Be nice to those with negative comments – like her and just enjoy our days as much as we can.

*****

Funny shoe story:

I had to run to Walmart for a few things on Friday after I got the kids from school.

Upon walking to the back to get bunny food for Lani’s bunny – I passed the women’s shoe isle, and saw these:

I’m sorry, but these are totally cute!

Both of my kids – my little dude and my daughter – at the same time – both told me “NO!”.

My son called them ugly and my daughter told me she’s doing me a favor by taking them out of the cart and not letting me walk out of the store with them. It made me laugh, but I told her I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, I love them, and I’m taking them.

They continued to tell me NO.

I played a little game of Tug of War with my daughter, and she laughed when I told her to UNHAND my shoes!

Did I get them? I sure did!!!!!!

It’s Winter. I’m not trying to go buy anything fancy right now, and I really do love these shoes. 😁 They’re also comfortable.

My kids teased me that these are “old people shoes”, and my co-worker laughed when I told her the story, and she asked if she was old because she actually likes them as well. Yep. I told her we’re both old and we need to just admit it.

Loves.

I’d love to write more and I’m sure I have a ton of other things to write, but I can’t concentrate because my little dude has just decided to sit next to me and make tons of noise until I go watch a movie with him. So, I’m going to end it here, and hopefully – I’ll be back tonight to catch up on what all of you have going on.

I also truly do promise to answer emails that some of you have sent me. I swear I will tonight.

XOXO.

❀️Shel❀️

A little piece of my world.

The kids are asleep.

The animals are asleep.

Me?

Not happening.

Do I have sleep meds? I do.

Do I want to take one? I probably should, but maybe I’m not ready to go to sleep just yet.

A little update on my life at the moment……

Bro:

    My brother decided to block me again.

He does this whenever I call him out on his B.S. or tell him something he doesn’t want to hear. He does this when I speak the truth and when I tell him what a jerk he’s been to the people who have truly been there for him in the last year, and who really love him and care about him.

He does this whenever a new woman comes into his life and he gets angry when I don’t agree with the amount of effort and time he’s putting into a new woman or women – and barely sees his kids, so I hold him accountable.

He does this whenever he feels like I’m taking the side of his ex-wife, when in reality – I just know how it feels to be a single mother with very little help and doing it all alone much of / all of the time.

He’s blocked me many times before in the last two years, and then he’ll come running back and apologize – only for us to talk for a few months and me to allow him back into my life thinking we can heal from his little temper tantrums and be close again – and then he blocks me again once I call him out again or say something he doesn’t like.

Recently, it was about how he was taking his new “woman” to play mini golf, and I simply stated that I’m sure his kids would like to do that as well. I asked why he doesn’t take them to do something fun – instead of going out to eat and taking them right back to their mother, and I asked him when he plans to find out if he can see his newborn kid from his last fiancΓ©e that just ended things with him months ago – before he jumped into this new relationship he has now.

My brother NEEDS someone in his life at all times, and he’ll jump from woman to woman, and this one he’s with now – is an ex from his past many – many – many years ago. She’s also the same one who stood in front of my grandma’s house screaming and disrespecting my grandma’s house a long time ago – because my brother refused to talk to her.

So, that’s where we’re at right now.

He blocked me again because he didn’t like what I had to say, and this time – he burned the last little bit of a bridge he had left with me. I can’t do it anymore. I’m done.

I love him dearly, but from now on – it will be from a distance and sadly, I’m at the point where if he and I never speak again, I’m okay with it. I’ll miss him, but we have plenty of great memories I’ll forever cherish, and I just have to accept that now – it is what it is!

One of my favorite producers / actors – is Tyler Perry. I’m sure you know his “Madea” character, right? In one of his Madea plays – he / she says:

“If someone wants to walk out of your life…..LET. THEM. GO!”. 🧐

I’m not begging anyone to stay in my life.

I’m not asking anyone any questions about why they want to walk out of my life or block me.

I’m not crying over anyone leaving.

I’m too old for that back and forth mess. If you want to go – GO! See ya. Bye. Adios!

How does the saying go?

“Don’t let the door hit ya – where the good Lord split ya?”.

I’ll be ok!

I’m not one to stay silent or tell someone what they WANT to hear. I’m always honest and real, and if I tell you what you NEED to hear and then you don’t want to hear my opinions or thoughts – that’s a YOU issue.

If you can’t handle the truth – that’s not my issue.

He has recently moved in with his new fiancΓ© and if I’m being honest, I feel like she’s his meal ticket. He’s using her for a place to stay because he went through all of his money, and maybe she’s using him to help her with rent. Who the hell knows?!

He wanted to introduce my nephews to this new woman, and I didn’t agree with him. He’s constantly changing who he is with, and I feel like my nephews shouldn’t be dragged into the life of my brother and his different women every few months. I asked my brother to wait this time – until they’ve been together for a year at least, and he didn’t want to – because he “loves her”. He’s loved the last 3 women he’s been with over the last few months as well.

See how crazy that sounds? That’s how I try to get him to see it, and he won’t.

I love him. I said it and I’ll say it again, but he can keep me blocked because I’m over it. There won’t be anymore bringing him back into my life because we do this over and over and over, and once I speak my mind or a new female enters his life – he forgets everything I’ve done for him. Everything his ex-wife and her family has done for him. He forgets family and good friends, and anyone who actually gives a damn.

This is nothing new, so I just pray for his happiness, peace and that one day – he grows the hell up.

It breaks my heart just a little because we always used to say we were “Bad boys for life! We ride together – we die together” …. just like Mike and Marcus from the Bad Boys movies. We used to argue over which one of us was Mike. I used to tell him I was Mike because I was always saving his ass, looking out for him and I was the protector and he was Marcus because he was always messing something up or getting us into some shit.

Unfortunately, the funny memories are all I have now, and a brother who has burned his last piece of the bridge with me.

     *****

Moving:

I’m still looking for places to move to, and I have come to realize that IL. is probably not an option anymore.

I’ve heard they are raising taxes like crazy, trying to tax people for the craziest things now, and rent / home buying prices are outrageous that way.

So, I’ve found a few places out in Wisconsin – closer to civilization and with stores, and restaurants close by. I found places in Iowa! Yes! You read that correctly. Iowa! I’m not against moving somewhere completely new – still within just a few hours of Illinois. So, the search continues and I know that time is going by so quickly, so I need to really be out there looking.

My lease expires here at the end of May, and my landlord has already found new people to take over because I told him months ago we’d probably be out in May. Rent here is going up, and if he doesn’t sell this building like he’s trying to, I don’t even want to be here anymore with all the issues I’ve had here.

While I love my apartment now, it’s just a headache with some of the things that people here have dealt with. That I’ve dealt with.

Hell! I’ve thought about going somewhere warm and starting in a totally new state, such as Florida or Vegas, but those prices are insane as well, and it’s so far from home – warm weather or not, I probably won’t be happy anywhere else but a few hours from IL.

The search continues and I trust God to bring us to the perfect new place we’re going to live – with more opportunities and many different varieties of places. 🩡

New niece:

I’ll be sending my new niece the cute things I got her later today, and praying that her mother reaches out to me – to let me get to know Ella.

Even if my brother has someone new and totally forgot he has a newborn, I’m still an Auntie and I still love that baby and want to see her grow up.

I hope to have an update in a week or so and be able to say that her mother did reach out and I have photos of Ella, and that I get to see her when I go visit IL. again, but even if her mother decides not to reach out because she wants nothing to do with my brother – at least I know I did the right thing and sent some stuff for my new niece, and I’ll continue to do so as she grows.

****

Weather:

It’s been in the 40’s and 50’s all week, and I thought we were getting lucky and about to have an early Spring.

Mother nature lied! πŸ˜’πŸ€£

We just got slammed with a Blizzard yesterday.

I should have known better though. It’s Minnesota!!!

Schools were cancelled today.

I have to drive in this stuff in the morning.

The kids go back to school, and I told one of the lead staff members at work – that I’d pick up her Thursday and Friday shifts.

It made me laugh because she does the scheduling and scheduled herself for four days in a row – only to realize she couldn’t handle that.

Listen! I don’t mind more money on my next check.

I actually love my job, and I said that before as well.

When you find a job you love – it doesn’t even feel like you’re going to work. ❀️

Work:

Work is going great!

I had to giggle a bit because the tenants that live in the facility I work in – have nothing to do.

They’re so bored, so they drink. They get into trouble. They act up. They argue. They fight.

What made me laugh?

My son and I work every weekend, so we decided we were going to start playing games with them on the weekends. We’ll either bring in games we have at our house, or play games they have at the facility, but we want to do something with them – so they have other things to do – other than what they’ve been doing or besides getting drunk.

We can usually tell what kind of day we’re going to have – just by who leaves with bookbags, and who we know is coming back with alcohol and sharing with others. Sad, but true!

So, if we’re playing games with them or entertaining them – they may not want to go to the liquor store, or go to each other’s rooms and get wasted, or whatever they do in those rooms.

I’ve talked to a few of them, and they were excited to start game days on the weekends when my son and I are both there.

One of them had me laughing when he suggested “drunk twister”. I told him I would absolutely NOT be bringing twister to work, especially when they’re drinking. He smiled and asked, “Why not?”.

My reply: “Because I don’t need lead staff pulling me into the office on a Monday – asking why the entire police department was here over the weekend!”.

He was laughing, but he knows damn well I’m not doing no contact games when half of them don’t even like each other. Add alcohol to the mix if they’ve been drinking, it can go all wrong.

Part of me wanted to suggest they get a pool table because a lot of the tenants’ think that would be a lot of fun, but then again – I don’t need anyone beating each other with pool sticks or worse, and lead staff coming and asking me why I thought a pool table would be a great idea. lol.

I love these tenants. I really do – but it’s iffy what we can do with them – to entertain them, and what we can’t.

Still, I’m confident my son and I will figure things out to do for fun, and to make their weekends worth it when we’re both there and have eyes on everything.

I always joke that they’re all like my adult children and it makes them laugh, but we seriously do have to keep an eye on everyone and everything that goes on at this facility because one moment – everything can be chill, relaxing, nothing going on – and the next minute – you have a full brawl at one end of the hallway, someone drunk and stumbling into walls at the other end, and someone throwing things on the other side.

I still love my job!

****

Health kick:

I have eaten healthy junk all day and I’m in a bad mood because of it!

ha.

Just kidding, but seriously – I know I need to start getting healthy, eating better, feeling better, etc. and I started earlier.

I was supposed to do so days ago, and we all know that didn’t work out.

I lost the key to my treadmill that turns it on. (Great safety feature if you have kids). So, I’ll find that later today and use it for what it’s supposed to be used for – rather than to hold my clean clothes that need to be hung up. 🀣 I’m so serious this time, and really plan to lose weight, get fit again, and enjoy life this year.

I’ve been in a funk for too long and it’s time to get myself back together and be the old me again.

The one who laughed a lot. The one who was motivated and happy before I lost my oldest years ago.

It’s been too long and I’m ready to get back to the best version of myself and stop this pity party of mine.

Loves.

I’d write so much more because I can’t sleep, but my battery on my laptop is about to die, and I’m about to enjoy a glass of wine to see if that helps me sleep.

Love ya!

Goodnight.

Sleep well darlings.

❀️Shel❀️

Another walk-through, and Saturday’s Winter formal.

Hello darlings.

I was up bright and early this morning making sure my kids were awake and everything looks nice – for the Realtor and “interested party” that was coming at 8:30.

My landlord is selling the building – (or trying to), but he’s had no luck. He put in up for sale months ago and had it up for months. People came and people went, and nobody was interested.

There were a few people who did make offers, but he wants his full asking price – which is outrageously too high for all the issues this building has – that need to be fixed, and there’s been no upgrades or updated anything in most of the apartments.

I think I’m probably the only one with one of the newer apartments and that’s because he had to update and upgrade a few things here before I moved in – because the last people who lived in this apartment – completely destroyed it. So, we got a lot of the newer things, but other apartments still have the same old cabinets, counters, dishwashers, fridges, carpets, etc. from many years ago.

He’s had many people come to look at this place with different realtors, and they’ve passed on it because it needs a lot of work and upgrades, so he took it off the market for a month or two, and now – it’s back up again – at the same outrageously crazy price he was asking before.

I would have just taken one of the offers one of the interested parties offered, left it as an “as is” price, and called it a day if this were my building. I feel like he was lucky to have been offered anything at all from the one or two offers he did have.

Now that it’s back online for sale again, he’s had a few different “interested parties” in and out of the building and everyone keeps getting these notification papers that people are coming to look on different days, but still – nothing comes of it. Still, tenants have to comply, let these people in their apartments, and have no say.

This morning, the realtor and the “interested party” that was supposed to come by, looked at different apartments and came to knock on mine at around 8:45. I let the lady and the guy in, and the guy looked at the living room, and immediately went to look at the bathroom.

I’ve noticed that many of the people interested – seem to go straight to the bathroom and start there. So, I had to look it up and ask why realtors and people interested in homes or buildings for sale – look at bathrooms first. He’s not the first one who has went straight for our bathroom and I read this on Google:

“Realtors and buyers often look at bathrooms first because they serve as an immediate, honest indicator of a home’s overall maintenance, hygiene, and potential for expensive renovation costs. Because bathrooms are intimate, personal spaces, they trigger strong, immediate emotional responsesβ€”either comfort and trust or doubt and disgustβ€”within seconds of walking in. 

Here is why the bathroom is prioritized:

“The Tell” for the Home:Β If a bathroom is updated and clean, it suggests the entire home is cared for, increasing the buyer’s confidence in the investment.Β 

Indicator of Overall Maintenance:Β Buyers assume that if visible details like grout, caulking, or fixtures in the bathroom are neglected, other, less visible systems in the house (like plumbing or electrical) have also been ignored.

High Cost of Renovation:Β Bathrooms are among the most expensive rooms to renovate per square foot due to labor and plumbing, making an outdated or poor-quality bathroom a major “red flag” or “deal-breaker”.

Emotional First Impression:Β A clean, updated, spa-like bathroom helps buyers instantly imagine themselves living in the home, whereas a dirty, smelly, or cramped bathroom can make them turn away immediately.

Functionality Check:Β Buyers immediately check for practical necessities like storage space, water pressure, and proper ventilation (to prevent mold), which are essential for daily comfort”.

***

I found this interesting, and it makes sense.

I guess they know exactly what they’re looking for.

If I’m being honest, all they have to do is pull into the parking lot and they can see that the place isn’t worth as much as he’s asking for it.

There’s so many things wrong with it – just on the outside of the building.

The entire parking lot needs to be redone.

All of the garages have huge holes in the walls and let in the elements because the doors are broken and falling apart. I remember one summer a few years back – there was a guy working on the garages to try to make them look semi-decent, and he had been doing so all day in the heat. I left a few times and came back that day, and he was still working and sweating. I had BBQed (before I found out we couldn’t do that here), and I asked that man if he ate at all that day. He said “no” and told me the landlord wanted his work done as soon as possible, and I told that man to get down from the ladder and come eat. He did and he was grateful. He did tell us that day that he told the landlord the garages aren’t repairable and need to be torn down and rebuilt, but the landlord didn’t want to spend that money.

So, that problem is still going on, and people can see that when they come look at the building to potentially buy it.

The building looks like it’s lifting off of the foundation.

The patios on the 1st floor are pulling away from the building.

The balconies on the 2nd floor are one good snowstorm or windstorm away from collapsing.

There’s a big sink hole right by the garages that we’ve been watching for a while now, and hoping nothing happens.

Nothing is updated or upgraded.

I’m sure that ugly, dusty carpet in the hallways has been there since this place was built in the 90s.

This place needs tons of work and I could go on and on.

The woman who works with the landlord to show the building and apartments – says the same thing. Nobody wants it because they find out it needs too much work.

I feel like if he took offers, realized this place isn’t in the best conditions and accepted the highest offer – it would have sold a long time ago “as is”. Greed can make a person do some wild things though, and while us tenants here continue to wake up early as hell sometimes for these realtors and “interested parties” who then pass on this place – or rush home late evenings sometimes to let them in – we just have to be quiet and allow it.

I have only stayed for the last few years because I do love my apartment. It’s a big 3-bedroom and like I said, I have the newer apartment. Plus, I wanted my daughter to finish high school here, and she’s almost done – so, it’s time to get ready to move on to bigger and better things and places in a few months.

I hope the landlord does get to sell the building and it goes to some amazing new people who will update and upgrade everything and really take care of it – the way all the tenants here – deserve. ❀️

He also sent the plumber here today because underneath the kitchen sink – there has been water a few times. There has been puddles on my kitchen floor because of it – that I’ve had to clean up. It’s only happened twice, but still – I wasn’t going to continue to let it happen. I had some plumber come and fix the garbage disposal a few weeks back, and that’s when it started.

The Plumber was here a few minutes after the realtor and the interested party left, and he said the guy who fixed the garbage disposal – forgot to tighten up the connection, so he thinks water is spewing from that at times. He tightened it, connected some gray piece, and asked me if his company did that work. I said no, and he was happy to hear that. 🀣 I promised him that I’ve had nothing but good experiences with his company since I’ve lived here for 6 years and have had them come out a few times for different things. The guy who did the garbage disposal – was from a totally different company.

Can I also share how cute this plumber was today?! lol.

I was a good girl, though. ha.

Part of me needs a nap now, and part of me knows I have things to do and it’s not happening.

****

Let’s talk about my daughter’s Winter formal dance this past Saturday.

She asked if I could pick up her friend that I’ll call “Aly”, and also – one of her best friends that I’ll call “Paisley”. (For privacy reasons of course!).

I got off of work at 3, got home about 3:30-ish, took my shoes off and planned to sit down, eat and relax for a bit before I picked up the girls because it was early and the dance didn’t start until later that night. As soon as I sat down to turn on a movie and relax, my daughter asked if we could go get Aly because her mom was leaving the house at 5 and wanted to lock up. She said Aly didn’t have an extra key to lock their front door, so her mom wanted to make sure she was picked up before she left and locked up.

No. I didn’t get to eat or watch anything. I threw my shoes back on, got ready and we left to get Aly.

My daughter told me her mom was going out somewhere.

We got Aly and then went to go get Paisley. Her mom was going out somewhere as well and wanted to wait until Paisley was picked up and safe with me.

I joked on the way to Aly’s and asked my daughter, “Hold up! Why are all the moms going out and I’m the one who gets to play Chauffeur, cook, baker and babysitter?”. My daughter laughed. I was teasing her though and I truly didn’t mind. I was thankful that the girls were getting ready at my place, and I was the one who got to take them to their dance, drop them off, pick them up from the dance and bring them home because I know I would have been nervous if my daughter wanted to go to someone else’s house to get ready and their parents were driving.

So, they came over and I made pizza. I planned to bake Cupcakes, but we had no time and the girls were rushing to get ready and trying on different dresses. My daughter gave one of the girls a black dress she had and let her keep, I straightened my daughter’s hair and painted her toenails, and one of the girls asked if I could do her hair and paint her toenails as well. I did so. 😊 I wanted tons of photos, but I only took one of my daughter by herself and one of her and her friends before they rushed out the door later that evening – to have me drop them off.

I should have taken a video of these three young ladies trying to walk to my car over piles and piles of ice and snow – in their heels. lmfao.

They held on to each other!

Thankfully, they made it without slipping.

When I dropped them off, I heard the music blasting from way inside and I knew they were going to have a great time.

I was even more thankful that our little town had two police cars sitting near by that night.

I prayed and asked the good Lord to watch over them for the next few hours, and I was even grateful that my daughter took time out of her night to keep in touch with me and let me know they were okay. I told them before they got out of my car to head into the dance – that if they felt like something was wrong or off or if they felt like they were in any kind of danger, to let me know and I’d come get them immediately!

Nothing happened and they got back safe.

When it was time for me to go get them, my daughter called me and asked if another friend of theirs that I’ll call (Alice) could come to the house and hang out for a bit until her mother and father were able to pick her up. Alice came there with her date, but after picking her up at her house earlier that day 30 minutes late, making her sit in the backseat because his friend was in the front, and dissing her at the dance to dance with other girls, Alice didn’t feel comfortable with him driving her back home.

I felt so bad for this Alice girl, but I know her mother and I absolutely told my daughter we’d take care of Alice until her mom and dad picked her up.

Her mom is a teacher at the school, and her other daughter and my daughter became good friends when my daughter started going to this school when we moved to this little town. Her and her other daughter were the first ones to show us so much comfort and love after my oldest child passed, and they’ve been huge parts of our lives ever since, so of course I was going to make sure Alice didn’t have to go home with this boy who dissed her and treated her so poorly that night.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, her parents were already at my place to pick her up. The dad knows this boy’s dad, so he said he planned to have a talk with the father, and Alice just wanted to cry. I gave her the biggest hug and told her unfortunately, as boys grow into men – it doesn’t get any better and you just have to learn which ones to let go of, and which ones deserve our time and attention, but one thing we don’t do as we get older, is cry over a boy / man, and I asked Alice to please remember that and her worth.

I told her how much I love her, and if she needed to talk, I was there for her. πŸ’•

These young girls break my heart when I see them wishing for a boy who isn’t worth it, crying over them, or feeling some kind of way because of one. My daughter has been so in love with this one boy at her school, and when he left the dance on Saturday, she told me she already misses him, and they’re not even dating. I just kind of giggled, but I told my daughter so many times that in the future, she will probably meet someone so much better and cuter – and won’t even remember this boy she has liked for years now.

Still, the girls had a great time, and everything went well.

I dropped my daughter’s friends off and get this………………………….

One of their moms was so amazing and got me a bottle of red wine because I was so cool about picking the girls up and bringing them home – she felt that’s the least she could do.

I truly am grateful and have that bottle sitting in my fridge for after dinner tonight. I plan to enjoy a few glasses after my crazy, long weekend. 😁 I just thought that was really thoughtful and sweet of that mom.

I really have nothing else going on today.

I have errands to run, and I promised my little dude I’d make my famous Burgers for dinner that he loves so much.

You all have a blessed rest of the week, and I love you!

πŸ’•ShelπŸ’•

Happy Valentine’s Day (Tomorrow) & may you enjoy some funnies today.

Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?

I’m 43.

I have no idea what my parents were doing at my age – except being parents. ha.

I do know that my mom worked at a bank. I can’t say which one she worked at when she was 43 – because there were two. I’m pretty sure it’s the 2nd one.

She started working at a bank in downtown Chicago, and fun fact – she worked with Michelle Obama’s mother at that bank.

Michelle Obama actually talks about that bank and her mom working there – in one of her books.

My mom said she didn’t really talk to Marian much. It was mostly a “hi, how are you, have a nice day!” – conversation if they ever spoke at work, and she said Michelle Obama’s mother worked in a different department at that time, but they’d run across each other here and there.

My brother and I always joked with my mom when we got older and told her if her and Michelle Obama’s mother did become good friends back then and stay friends – we could have been invited to the White House for dinners and parties when Michelle and Barack were in there.

She’d just laugh at us because we’d shake our heads at her.

When my mom left that bank – she started working at a bank on the Northside of Chicago – a few blocks from where we lived, and that’s the bank she stayed at for 30+ years – gaining many customers who absolutely loved my mother, looked for her every time they walked into the bank, enjoyed sitting and talking with her. Not only about their accounts, but about life, and personal things they’d share with her or she’d share with them.

Working at that bank, my mom got to know a LOT of people, and in public – out with my mom – she’d always see someone she knew or who knew her and was so excited to see her.

My brother and I used to joke with her because she knew everyone. Everyone knew her and loved her.

It didn’t matter where we were – she’d always see someone she knew.

We were visiting my oldest daughter in Minnesota when she moved here before we did, and my mom came with us one time. We were staying at a hotel that weekend, and my mom wore this little bathing suit to go in the pool. She didn’t like bathing suits that showed much, so when I asked if she was going to wear the one she was wearing because it showed more than expected, she told me she was, and said, “I don’t know anyone out here in Minnesota. I’ll never see any of these people again!”.

As she was in the pool and I sat in the area reading a book, I heard, “DIANE?”. She knew some people that walked into the pool area. They were visiting their family out here, and when they talked to my mom and then left, my mom looked at me and laughed. I shook my head, smiled and told her, “Even in Minnesota, huh?”. She always saw someone she knew from the bank she worked at, or around the area, but again – everyone loved my mother.

So, what was she doing when she was my age? Working at a bank and getting so much love from people. πŸ€—

She retired in her late 60’s if I remember correctly, and she cried over it because she was leaving behind so many customers, and a job she loved for so long. She knew she’d miss it, but she was ready to get on with her life and enjoy the rest of it as well.

………….

My dad at my age – I have no idea what he was doing, either.

I know he was working at the Chicago Tribune for a long time, and then he went to the Chicago Sun Times (both newspapers) in case you’ve never heard of them.

He worked with my grandpa at a factory as well, but I couldn’t tell you which job he was at when he was 43.

So, that answers (sort of) today’s WP writing prompt question.

I do know they both lived above my grandma and grandpa on my mom’s side, and both worked.

*****

Anyway, today – my younger daughter and I – stopped at Walmart to get Cupcakes for my little dude’s class.

He’s having a Valentine’s Day party later. We did V-day cards earlier, and I brought in the box of goody bags I made.

We took his teacher and his 2nd grade teacher from last year (that we love so much and miss) some gifts.

My son wasn’t in his main class, so his teacher told us where we could find him, and we hid her gifts until we grabbed my son from that class, so he could surprise her with the gifts.

On the way to grab my son from the class he was in, we passed his 2nd grade teacher’s class from last year. (Ms. M). She came out into the hallway, put her hands on her hips, and yelled out, “I know you two are NOT walking past my classroom and not stopping by!”. We laughed and told her we’d be right back. I absolutely adore Ms. M.

We grabbed my little dude, gave him Ms. M’s gifts, and walked into her classroom. She was so happy, and hugged him, and he was so happy giving her these gifts. My little dude is such a sweetheart and enjoys when we surprise people.

While Ms. M. and I were talking, my little dude kept taking my “Visitor” sticker off, and I told him I had to keep it on, so they know I’m okay to be inside of the school. Ms. M. told him, “Yeah dude. If you keep taking it off of her, they’re going to come and escort her out of the building”. I joked that as long as they’re some hot cops, I wouldn’t mind, and I pretended like I was putting my hands behind my back. We both laughed so much.

This is why I love Ms. M.

I know I can joke with her, and she’ll joke right back.

She said, “At this point, it doesn’t even matter if they’re wearing a ring or not”.

I told her I can keep secrets.

She did the:

She laughed and told me, “I have you on social media. I’m watching you!”.

I told her, “Hey! If you have my back – I have yours!”. 😁

Oh, don’t get all serious on me if you’re reading this. We were just joking.

You know I don’t condone cheating and I don’t date married men. lol.

We then went to my son’s teachers’ room, gave her the Cupcakes and Sprite we got for the party, handed over a huge box of goody bags, and her gifts, made sure my son made it back to the room he was in, and left.

Ms. M. is one of the people I’m going to miss when we move, but I told her since she has me on social media apps – I’ll totally keep in touch, and she’ll be able to see my little dude growing up.

Maybe we’ll come back and visit from time to time.

Minnesota is a beautiful vacation spot.

My daughter and I laughed as we walked out of the school, and the Sheriff was there. I told her, “Look! They’re already coming to get me!”.

I took her to the high school and came home to relax.

******

In other news, did you hear Cardi B. did her first performance on her “Little Miss Drama” tour?

First thing she did – was call out I.C.E. and say if I.C.E. comes in the building, they’re going to jump them because I.C.E. isn’t taking any of her fans.

Everyone laughed and she was of course – being funny because that’s just her personality, but Homeland Security clapped back and said, “As long as she doesn’t drug and rob our agents, we’ll consider that an improvement over her past behavior”. I giggled at that, because obviously – they too – were being funny and using humor. It’s no secret Cardi has a past and has even admitted to drugging and robbing men when she was in her wild days – way back.

Cardi went on to ask why they don’t want to talk about the Epstein files if they want to talk about drugs and drugging people.

Okay!

It was funny at first, but now – it’s getting messy.

Let’s pray Homeland Security can let that one go, and Cardi continues the rest of her tour safely, peacefully, and without drama – but then again, it is the “Little Miss Drama” tour, right? 😢

I did plan on going, but not sure if I still will. We shall see. I haven’t gotten tickets yet, and I heard they’re selling out fast.

********

Before I get out of here and go grab a Salad – (because I just started this damn diet again and plan to get my workouts in) – let me make you giggle a bit.

While my daughter and I were in Walmart earlier – they had rows and rows and rows of fresh flowers and roses.

I joked that there were so many of them left, and by now – all of them are usually gone or there’s not a big selection left.

My daughter had me laughing when she says, “Yeah, there’s a lot left because nobody is dating anymore. Everyone realizes that love is a headache!”. 🀣 My kids say the goofiest things, but I can’t say she’s lying.

My loves – I have nothing else today.

I hope all of you are doing well.

Happy Valentine’s Day – (tomorrow) – and please – don’t forget to grab something for the love in your life – even if they can be a headache, too! ha.

Love ya!

πŸ’•ShelπŸ’•

My dream home (WP writing prompt), and a few other things.

Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.

That’s not hard to do at all.

Today’s WP writing prompt is to describe my dream home.

I just talked to a realtor yesterday about this, because I’m looking to buy in the near future, and I’ve had a team of people I plan to work with when I’m ready.

I don’t even need a huge house. I could find a one-story ranch style house and be so happy with it, as long as it comes with the things I’ve always wanted in a home.

My “wants” are simple.

My dream home has to have a decent-sized backyard for BBQs and get-togethers with friends, my kids and their friends, family, etc. I’d love to have a big tree in the backyard – for a treehouse to be built. If you know me personally, you’ll know I’ve always wanted a treehouse.

FOR ME. NOT THE KIDS. 🀣

It would be my own personal space to write or to just run to for silence. It would be my own personal space to hang out in – a glass or two of wine late at night, look up at the stars and just think. It would be my own personal “happy place”.

My dream home would have a beautiful kitchen with tons of kitchen cabinet and counter space because I love to cook and bake. One thing I’ve always wanted – is a beautiful kitchen island right in the middle. My aunt and uncle have one and I absolutely love that. It also has tons of cabinets and space to store dishes, pans, etc. Something like theirs – would be lovely.

My dream home would have a finished basement, and that would either be my older son’s room until he moves out – because he’s always talking about having a “man cave” – or – I’d totally get a pool table and a few video games and turn it into a little gaming area for the kids and their friends. The gaming systems would definitely be down there, so if the boys want to yell and scream at their games – it’s all done in the basement, and I can close the door and tune them out. ha.

They take their gaming seriously, so they could use their own spot to do it in.

The washer and dryer I’ve always wanted – would be in a little laundry room space that I can decorate my way. I’ve always wanted one of those fancy washer and dryers that make a beautiful noise when they’re done. 😁 I always say when I buy a house, those are my first purchases for it.

I also want to make sure there’s tons of natural sunlight.

The apartment I have now – faces the parking lot, and there’s barely any sunlight coming in. I want a house with tons of windows all around that let in the sunlight.

When I was talking to the realtor yesterday, I let her know all of this and she then said, “With three kids, I’m sure you want two bathrooms”. I never thought of that, and it never really mattered to me, but yes – that would be perfect!

I don’t know if I’ll ever get everything I want in a house, because I’ve looked at some beautiful homes while planning to move this summer from where I am now, but if I absolutely love a house, I always find something wrong with it. I don’t like the kitchen, or the yard, or the small rooms. I’ve searched plenty of houses over the last few days and something always throws off the whole vibe and makes me say, “This isn’t the one!”. I’m picky – I know – and right now, I don’t have time to be picky.

So, while I may not buy a house right now, this would be my dream home description for the near future.

While we’re on the subject of houses and a dream home –

I have searched so many apartments and homes in different areas and even different states the last few days, because the deadline is fast approaching when I’d like to have something locked in, secured and ready to move into when we leave here. I want to have something ready by May 1st at least, so when May 31st rolls around, I’ll be cleaning up this place we’re in now, making sure it’s good for the next tenants, and having the last walk-through done.

I have friends and family out in IL. keeping their eyes open for apartments and homes, and we’ll see what happens.

I have been searching as well, and I leave our next place – all in God’s hands.

The search has been a headache and that’s what I’ve done all day – everyday sometimes, but I believe that we will be alright and we will get to move closer to home – as we want to.

****

WALMART AND VALENTINE’S DAY!

Other than the moving and my dream home thing, I have been preparing for Valentine’s Day.

My little dude’s class is having a party, and the teacher sent home a list of students in the class.

One thing I do every year and have fully enjoyed – is making up little goody bags or gift buckets for almost every holiday, and V-day is no different. I made up little baggies filled with pencil sharpeners, bubbles, cute stampers, heart-shaped rings, stickers, and little cute ducks. There’s some other stuff in them as well, and I’ll also be putting candy in them.

I love seeing the looks on their curious little faces when we bring goodies in for his class, and they get excited.

I’ll be bringing in Cupcakes and juice boxes, and a few gifts for some teachers and his as well.

While I was at Walmart yesterday morning grabbing party favors for these little goody bags, I was also looking for V-day cards for little dude to pass out to his class.

Many of them only had 16 in it, and there’s 18 kids. I didn’t want to buy another whole box of 16 – for just 2, so I was looking for a box of cards with 24 or 32 in them – even if we’d have some left over. If I could just buy one box and get it over with – it’s easier.

I ended up asking a woman who worked there and was trying to organize the V-day Isle she was in – if they have a box of 24 cards by any chance or if there’s more in another isle.

She turned to me and I realized she was the same woman that was at the self-checkout line during Halloween when we went in there for face paint. She’s mentally challenged and has a disability where she can’t talk very clearly, but she’s such a sweetheart. We said hello to each other, and we started talking about the party my son was having in his class.

She tried helping me find a box of 24 or 32, and I found one on my own – grabbing some Monster truck cards. A box of 32.

I thanked her for her help and walked to the next isle over to start picking out party favors. She walked over to that isle, showed me another choice of Hot wheel V-day cards, and asked if I wanted those instead. I thanked her but told her I think I’d stick with the Monster trucks, and I kind of giggled when she said, “Can you afford both?”. I politely thanked her and told her I didn’t want both, so she went to put the Hot wheels cards back. I felt bad and thanked her, again.

As I was looking through party favors, she came back over to me and asked if I had a boyfriend or husband. I told her no. I said it was just me and my kids. She said, “I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, either”. I hoped she wasn’t trying to flirt or go somewhere with that – or I’d have to find a very nice way to turn her down – but thankfully, she just started giving me some really cool words of wisdom.

She told me how us single women have to treat ourselves to something on Valentine’s Day, and that it’s more than okay to buy something for ourselves. We don’t need a man to buy anything for us. She said she’s going to buy herself some flowers, and I told her what a beautiful idea that was and said I may treat myself to some as well – along with some chocolate and coffee.

She said women have to work on themselves first, and make sure we feel good about ourselves, and when we’re not even looking – the right man will come along and love us the way we deserve to be loved. πŸ’• Listen. Don’t let nobody tell you that people with disabilities or those who are mentally challenged – have anything wrong with them, because sometimes – they are the kindest, sweetest, smartest people you will ever meet!

She spoke the truth and I loved what she was saying.

I already know all of that because I preach it all myself, and I agree with all of it.

If you’re a woman – and you’re single – go treat yourself to something fun, or nice. New haircut, new nails, Bath N’ body works goodies, New Victoria Secret goodies, flowers, chocolate, coffee, time with friends – whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good – you don’t need a man to spoil you on V-day. YOU spoil you! Men included… if you’re single – go have fun and enjoy doing something for yourselves.

We chatted for a bit about the fun parts of being single, and treating ourselves to nice things on Valentine’s Day, and then – I had to tell her to “have a nice day”, for the 5th time – and get out of there because if not, she would have stood there and talked all day, and while I didn’t mind – I really had to get out of Walmart and run other errands.

She really is a sweetheart. I enjoy talking to her whenever she’s around Walmart, but I had to go.

After getting Elijah’s goody bag things, I ran a few isles over to grab food for my daughter’s bunny.

On the way to pay – I stopped at the little girl’s section and picked out some cute things for my new niece, Ella.

I know Ella was born weeks ago, and I’ve said before that the mother wants nothing to do with my brother, but I’m hoping by sending Ella some cute things, her mother will reach out to me and let me have a relationship with my niece. I want to know my niece. I should know my niece and my niece should know she has a whole family on her dad’s side – who will love the heck out of her and be there for her. So, I’m hoping when she receives these gifts, her mother reaches out to me, and we can have a civil conversation.

Even if she wants nothing to do with my brother, and he has to handle that in court to see his daughter, I’d like to do it the easy way and see if she’ll allow me to be a part of Ella’s life. I love Ella as much as I love my nephews, T.J. and Matthew – even if Ella and I – haven’t met yet.

So, I grabbed a few adorable things for Ella.

πŸ’•

πŸ’•

πŸ’•

Here’s hoping that Auntie gets to meet her soon and have a relationship with her – if her mother allows.

DINNER AND A MOVIE:

Moving on……………

My youngest son asked if we could watch a movie a few months ago and he picked out ZOOTOPIA.

It was such a funny and cute movie, and I absolutely loved it! πŸ’•

Nick and Judy (Carrots – as he nicknamed her) – are hilarious together and I love the bond they create between them.

If you and your kids haven’t seen it yet, I totally recommend checking it out, or even by yourself if you’re looking for a funny movie to watch, and don’t mind cartoon-ish movies.

So, Saturday – when my little guy asked if we could go to the movies and see ZOOTOPIA 2 – I said “no” at first.

My other kids had eye doctor appointments, the movie place we go to is an hour 1/2 away, and I was tired.

However – I kind of wanted to see part 2, and he said it was really good.

He and his class went to see it, so I figured, “Why not?”. My older kids actually wanted to go see it as well – which was surprising because they’re 23, and 17 – so, we went to their eye doctor appointments and went to see the movie.

We got to the area early, so we stopped and grabbed something to eat at a nice restaurant and all we did inside – was laugh and laugh and laugh. We had so much fun talking, joking around, and making each other laugh harder than normal, but we had a blast. I kept trying to get my kids to lower their voices or be quiet because there were others around us, and while the restaurant was mainly empty – people were still looking at us – as we laughed, couldn’t stop, and enjoyed our time out together.

At one point, we had stopped laughing long enough to eat, but my older son had us laughing again when he giggled and said to my daughter, “I like how you ordered Chocolate chip pancakes you had a taste for so much, but you’re digging into moms Biscuits and Gravy”. 🀣She kept reaching her fork over – picking at my food. We haven’t laughed that much in such a long time, and it was nice – even if others were looking at us and thought we were too loud.

When we got back in the car, I joked that I couldn’t take them anywhere, and they joked that they are DRIVE-THRU kids and not SIT-DOWN-IN-RESTAURANT kids. I didn’t mind though because they were having fun and enjoying themselves.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

I don’t want to spoil anything, so if you haven’t seen ZOOTOPIA 2 yet – you can scroll past this, but I will say that I absolutely love the part where Nick finally opens up to “Carrots”, she finally opens up to him, and they quickly proceed to tell each other their problems and so on, so they could better understand each other in the future and why they have the personalities they do. πŸ€— When Nick admits he doesn’t want to lose Judy and that he’s grown to care about her – such a cute moment in the movie.

See part 1 first, and then go see Part 2.

I promise – you won’t be disappointed.

So….

Between getting ready for Valentine’s Day stuff, preparing to get boxes and bins and move, looking for places to move to, getting ready for my daughter’s “lasts” in high school – and preparing for tons of other things – I haven’t had time to sit down and write, so here I am – now that I have a moment to myself.

SENIOR ASSASSIN:

My daughter has started SENIOR ASSASSIN – as I’ve mentioned before. Her and the class of 2026 are now playing and the rules are – you can’t get anyone while they’re at work or school, and if they have their goggles on, they’re safe.

They all have an app they downloaded for Seniors everywhere – who play this game at the end of the year, and it shows all of their locations, so my daughter downloaded that, and she’s been begging me to find her goggles – so she doesn’t get assassinated.

You all know her friends call me “mom”, and I call them my “adopted babies”, so two of her other friends didn’t have goggles, either.

I ended up ordering a 3-pack online from Menards yesterday because no other stores have their summer gear (including goggles) out yet.

I took my daughter and her friend with me to pick them up yesterday, and we all laughed when they came back out to the car after picking them up from the order pick up section and showing me that I ordered goggles for toddlers 3 and up. 🀣 Oops! We went around to the front and I parked, so we could go inside and exchange them for goggles their size.

I was told from Customer service – that if we go to Hardware – they could show us a box of goggles we can pick from.

We found some in the summer section they were setting up, and we grabbed a 3-pack their size, but we also wanted to see what other goggles they had, so we were led upstairs by three associates. I didn’t even know Menards had an upstairs, but I guess that’s where their storage area is, and customers are allowed. (No children). We went up there, and they looked for goggles, but all they had was the ones out on the floor already, which was fine because my daughter and her friend got what they needed, and now – they’re wearing these goggles everywhere outside of school – to be safe.

They’re also carrying their gel blaster guns with them everywhere – in case they see someone outside of school and want to get them before they get “got”. haha.

I love that my daughter is participating because these are memories that she’ll remember forever.

I had to laugh because once Senior Assassin started last week – one teenage boy I’ll call “J” – quickly took out a few classmates, and he eliminated one at the gas station – as he snuck up behind the truck and shot gel blasters into the open window. “J” is sneaky, and he’s the only one that has gotten others out so far, so to be funny – the organizer of this Senior assassin game – called for a BOUNTY to be put on “J’s” head, and anyone can look for him and get him.

I joked that that’s the first one my daughter and her friends should locate and go for once they get goggles.

If Seniors want to follow other Senior’s home and get them – it’s fair game, so now – my daughter is on high alert and told me I better bring her goggles and gun everywhere if I pick her up from school to go anywhere. lol.

I love that she’s making memories, and I’ll forever look back and cherish these times as well – as a parent.

My other two older kids never did these things / events in high school, so it makes me smile to know she’s enjoying her last few months before graduation.

πŸ€—

Dress Shopping:

I took her out of school early today, so we could go dress shopping for her Winter formal coming up.

Everything closes by 5 or 6 out here, so it had to be done early.

We went to a place that has tons of formal dresses for great prices, but unfortunately – she tried on five dresses and none of them fit her, so she walked out of the store disappointed.

We went over to J.C. Penney, and they had a very small selection, so we left there and I caved and went to a Bridal / prom shop.

I knew their prices were going to be outrageous – just by the looks of their dresses, and I was right.

Their dresses start at $250, so the beautiful Indian woman who works there – asked me what my price range was. I told her I wasn’t trying to spend more than $100 or so, but I was willing to see what I could play around with because it was for my daughter and I wanted her to be happy.

I explained that this is her last as a Senior, and she graduates this year, so I want this to be extra special for her.

She asked what my daughter was looking for – a short or long dress. My daughter said short. I looked at the lady and told her, “Not too short”. She surprised me when she told me that she had a mother of a teenager come in and ask if a really short dress her daughter tried on – could be made even shorter. Not me, lady! I want my daughter to look beautiful, in a modestly short dress. Again – not too short. lol.

She asked my daughter what she envisions her perfect dress to look like and what color. My daughter told her she’ll try any colors except pink and purple. My daughter also told the lady she wants a sparkly dress.

The lady grabbed two black dresses and told my daughter to follow her. She asked if my daughter wanted to try to them on, and she said yes. I will say I laughed a bit when the lady kept asking my daughter if she could come in and see how it looked every 5 minutes, and my daughter told her, “I don’t even have it past my bra yet!”. The lady told her for the best fit – she should take her bra off and try dresses on.

So, seven dresses later – the lady brought my daughter a red dress. This poor lady kept going back and forth with my daughter saying no to the first few dresses. The lady was a very patient, and she and I talked a bit as my daughter tried these dresses on. The first red dress she tried on – she came out onto the stand area and looked at herself in the mirrors as the lady fixed the back of that dress. My daughter claimed to like it – but a mother knows better.

I know better….so – when the lady walked away to grab one more dress, I whispered, “Do you really like that one? Don’t make me buy it if you know you don’t like it!”. My daughter whispered, “No!”. See? A mother knows!

The last red dress she tried on, she was absolutely in love with and said she couldn’t stop looking at herself. 😁

She told me a few times she loves that dress, and she even took a photo of herself in the dress – in the mirrors.

That’s how I knew she was being truthfully about loving the last dress she tried on.

It was a little big on the top area, but the lady took down notes on the alterations she had to make.

This dress was one of the $250 dresses, but the lady told me she’d give it to me for $160. I told her she didn’t have to do that, but we were talking about how crazy this economy is, and how happy I just wanted my daughter to be, so I did appreciate her kind gesture, and she made sure I only paid $160.

30 minutes after we left the shop – the lady called and said the alterations were done, so I’m going to pick up the dress in the morning.

As I paid, I smiled because while I could have really used that money – my daughter was so happy, excited, and it made me feel good.

She had me laughing in the car when she said she felt like she was on that show, “Say Yes to the Dress!”. She said she was just waiting for the cameras to come out. ha.

While my daughter was trying on dresses, the lady said she had a mother and daughter who came in there a few days ago, and the mother purchased a $1,400 – quince dress for the daughter, and a $1,600 dress for herself for her 25th wedding anniversary.

I can’t wrap my head around why people would pay so much for dresses, shoes, purses, etc. I’m okay with the little things in life, as long as they’re comfortable and look cute.

I’ve never been the type to need or want the “finer things in life”. My mother and grandmother always taught me to be humble and be happy with what I have because some people would love to have what I have. That has stuck with me all through my life. πŸ’•

As we were walking out of the shop, I couldn’t imagine paying $1,400-$1,600 for a dress for one night, and I thought about weddings and how much those big ones – cost. How much Bridal gowns cost, and I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – if – big if – I ever get married again, I want something simple. Something low-key. Something relaxing – that doesn’t drain our bank accounts.

Listen.

I think I made this long enough, and as always – if you were interested enough to get through this long post and made it to the end, I love you so much.

I’m enjoying a glass or two of wine, so I hope all of you have a fantastic night, and I’ll be back before the weekend.

πŸ€—ShelπŸ€—

A fun little find while searching…..

So…………….

I’ve spent days looking on different websites for houses and apartments – just to see what’s out there right now and how much everything is.

I’ve looked all over Duluth and different other areas of Minnesota with more varieties of things. I know I said I wanted to leave Minnesota for good, but I just wanted to see what else is out there – in a bigger area maybe.

I’ve looked all over different cities in Wisconsin, which is where we’re thinking about moving – once we leave here, and I’ve looked all over different parts of IL. (Suburbs of course!).

Just for fun, I happened to look at places in the area I grew up in – out in Chicago, and I was surprised to see that the building my best friend lived in while we were growing up – (one block over from the house I grew up in) – was for rent. I got excited and thought it was the 3rd floor where she and her family lived all those years ago when we were little, but it was the ground floor. The basement.

I was about to message the landlord there and tell him I’ll take it and hold it for me – if it was the 3rd floor.

I LOVED her 3rd floor apartment, and when we were growing up – we had so much fun there.

It’s on a dead-end street right by the railroad tracks.

The railroad tracks are on the same level as the 3rd floor, so from her bedroom window back then, we could see the trains passing so closely, and the people in it. We used to hang out the window and wave at the people, and sometimes – they’d wave back if the train was moving slow enough for them to see us. 😁

I can’t even begin to tell you the number of baseballs, soccer balls, tennis balls, etc. – we lost over the fence right by those tracks when we played on this street as kids.

Those front windows on the 3rd floor – led to their living room – where we spent hours playing video games. The good old school ones.

Back then – we loved KRIS KROSS. (The teenage rap group with Chris Kelly and Chris Smith). If you know the song “JUMP”, you know who they are, but they had so many other great songs as well, and they were known for wearing their clothes backwards.

It was in this building – 3rd floor – that her dad lied to us, and said Kris Kross worked with him. We were stupid enough to believe him, so we asked him to bring them home one day.

He said he’d invite them over or to dinner. Every time he’d come home from work, and they weren’t with him, he’d smile at us and tell us they had to work late, or they had to go to the studio after work to record. He’d tell us, “Next weekend”, or that they had to fly back home to see family for a while.

Eventually, my best friend asked, “You don’t really work with them, do you?”, and he laughed – telling us, “You two are the idiots who believed me!”. lol. We believed him for months.

It was this building where her mom would hang out the back window and scream at us to put our jackets and gloves on – as we took them off often in the Winter – to slide down big snow hills in the alley.

This building is the only one my grandparents let me go to when I was younger – because it was right on the next block, and I could easily cut through yards to get there. My grandparents used to watch my brother and I – when our parents were at work.

I had so many good times on that block and on that 3rd floor in this building.

So, when I saw it was for rent – I got a little excited. I then saw that it wasn’t the 3rd floor.

It was still nice to see the building online. I’d love to see what the 3rd floor looks like now.

With that being said – I’m finding so many cute places that are so expensive, and many of the decent-priced places don’t allow pets.

We have my little guys cat, my older son’s dog, and my daughter’s bunny.

Part of me wishes I could find a cabin home or a resort type of place that did year-long leases, because I’d totally love to live on the lake.

One place I absolutely love – is my aunt and uncle’s old house and last I heard – that’s an Airbnb now. I wonder if the new owners would rent that out, although I’m pretty sure it’d be crazy expensive.

I want to buy a house, but I may just wait on that right now.

Still, hunting for rentals or houses is exhausting and I know my time is limited, so it has to go fast.

I’ve found a few really cool places with bookshelves built into the wall, and I’d love something like that. I love to read and I have all kinds of books.

I would like something with natural sunlight and tons of windows, with lots of kitchen counter and cabinet, and a back yard as well, so I’ve just been saving the ones I love and hope they’re still available when it’s time to get out of here.

I am also starting to pack up and get ready to make things easier when it is time to move, so we don’t have anything to do – except load everything into a moving truck. A friend of mine told me it’s much easier to rent a U-Haul and drive it – rather than pay thousands for moving companies, but me driving a U-Haul – there’s no guarantee the truck is getting there in one piece.

I plan to maybe have my brother come out here and drive it for us. He used to drive Semi’s all over, so he’s used to those big trucks.

Anyway – little giggle for you today because I always try to make you smile at least……………

My 9-year-old needed empty cereal boxes for a cute project his class is working on for Valentine’s Day – so, I took the cereal bags out of two boxes and gave him the boxes. There was a Coco-puff in one of the boxes, and I meant to take it out yesterday before I sent him to school.

I totally forgot.

Last night, I told him I forgot to take that one Coco-puff out, and he tells me, “It’s okay! I saw it and ate it. I never let a perfectly good Coco-puff go to waste!”. I laughed so hard. πŸ˜‚

Well, okay then kid! ha.

I have nothing else for you today. I’m sorry.

This is going to be short and sweet. I just wanted to talk a bit about my best friend’s house and the basement being for rent now.

I miss that place and again, if it was the 3rd floor – I may have taken it.

We met in 2nd grade, and I believe from 2nd grade – all the way through 6th, she lived there and it was my favorite place to be.

Love you and please pray that I find the perfect place – in the perfect area, and it’s a fast and easy move-in process because when I leave here at the end of May, I just want to go straight to our new home, unpack and relax. πŸ’•

While I want to get out of the state – worst case scenario – is that we end up moving 30 minutes to an hour away and try to get out of this state again next year.

I just want to get the hell out of this itty-bitty little town at least, and out of this building.

Is it May yet? 😘

Okay for real – adios!

🌹Shel🌹

Changes.

Loves.

I’ve been neglecting the whole blogging thing.

I’ve been so busy and so tired – trying to get ready for so many new beginnings.

The end and beginnings of new things, actually.

Graduation:

As many of you know, my youngest daughter graduates from high school in a few short months, so we’re in the final stretch of getting ready for that.

She’s been taking yearbook photos, turning in her last major assignments – including a big History project her and her friend just worked on here at our place, and she’s now searching for dresses. One for Winter formal coming up in a few weeks, and one for graduation. πŸ’•

Senior assassin has started, and she made me laugh when she said she’s not going to be “out and about” with me – without her goggles on. Rules are – keep your location ON – (because these Seniors download an app where they can all see each other’s locations), and if they see each other “out and about” and they have goggles on their eyes, they’re considered “safe”.

If they have their goggles around their necks, hanging out of their pockets, in their hands, etc. – any other senior can assassinate them. She kept telling me I needed to get her goggles, and we’re doing that today and then – she’ll turn her location on. I told her she’s cheating, and that’s what she told me.

That she’s not going to be seen “out and about” with no goggles on. lol.

I’m just enjoying these last few months of her being in high school, and I’m not trying to rush anything.

The entire class of 2026 had a graduation song picked out, but after my daughter heard it, I was so proud when she spoke up and said that song had nothing to do with graduating, so another girl asked if they should change it. Many of the class members said yes, and agreed with my daughter, so eventually – after going through different songs, they decided on the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac.

Dude. I cried in my living room when she told me that, and she laughed at me.

That’s one song that always makes me cry, and knowing it’s going to be played at her graduation – I’m going to lose it. Anyone want to donate boxes of tissue? lmao. Kidding! I’ll already have a bunch of tissues with me.

That part where it says, “Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ – ’cause I’ve built my whole life around you, but time makes you bolder, children get older, and I’m getting older, too!” – gets me every time.

For so many years – I’ve built my whole life around my kids, and now that they’re getting older, I know eventually – I’ll have to find “me” again, and who I am.

So, as we prepare for graduation and do everything she has to do before that day – my mama heart is so happy and excited for that day coming up, and my mama heart is a little sad because I remember when we moved to Minnesota and she started 7th grade here. I look at her pictures of when she was growing up, and my mama heart remembers every single memory from every single photo in her younger years.

She just made “A honor roll” for 2nd quarter and she was on it for the 1st quarter as well.

I’m so proud of the young lady she is becoming, who she wants to be in the future, and all the goals and plans she has for herself after high school.

There’s a trend on TIKTOK going around where it says, “So proud of my daughter because her high school years look so different than mine”, and I smile at that trend. In high school – at the age of 17, I was pregnant with my first child and had my first child at 18. Kailani at 17 – doesn’t want any kids until she’s older, is talking about becoming a paramedic, and moving to California one day.

She didn’t follow in my footsteps, and I’m so happy because of that. She did so much better than I did in high school, and she didn’t make the same mistakes, so it does my mama heart good that she is becoming so successful. πŸ€—

As she finishes high school, picks her college or certification program after and becomes who she wants to be in life, it’s bitter-sweet to see her getting older, growing so fast, maturing and doing so many great things.

With that being said, I will also say that I’m so proud of me for getting two college degrees in Criminal Justice (Associate and Bachelors) – and while I didn’t get to fly to Vegas for my graduations, I do plan to purchase the cap and gown soon, take my honors tassels I was sent, get my National Society of Leadership and Success gear, and hire a photographer to take some graduation photos for me, because I didn’t do that, either.

I want to.

I think it’d be fun and it’s something I can cherish for life.

Photos my kids can cherish and look at – to be proud of their mom when I’m no longer here on this earth.

To know that if I was able to finish two degrees as a single working mom with bills and all the craziness of life – they could and should aim just as high and do many great things in this life, because if I can do it, they can too!

So, yes – I want that college graduate photo shoot soon – maybe this summer – and hell, maybe if I order my cap and gown now from the college I graduated from, my youngest daughter and I – can decorate our caps together.

Maybe we can take graduation photos together.

******

New place:

With my daughter about to graduate, I’m also looking for a new place and getting ready to get out of this small-little town.

That too – is going to be bitter-sweet, but as much as my heart and mind have battled about staying here or getting the hell out of here, I know we have to get the hell out of here.

I’ve said this before.

There’s no variety of anything here. No variety of food places, no fun activities for families, no great job opportunities – especially not in my field.

My daughter hates going into the stores we do have because this place is so small – everyone knows everyone or everyone is related to everyone and she hates running into people from school. My older son misses all his friends back home and he’s been in a bit of a depression since we lost my oldest child, and he has nobody to hang out with here. He’s made a few friends, but they weren’t the best, so he’s ready to get the hell out of here.

Not to mention – that there’s really no jobs for him out here – where he can advance and really do well.

It’s mostly fast food, a few small grocery stores, and retail, and he wants to do something else at the age of 23.

Me? I’m lost out here.

I miss my friends and family, familiar places back home and not having to drive hours and hours for good stores, good food and fun things to do. I’m tired of wasting gas and going miles and miles for the doctor or hospital, and main stores. So, it will be a blessing to move somewhere bigger and better – and somewhere a little closer to home – where everything and everyone is closer.

I did tell my landlord we will probably be out by the end of May because rent is going up here in the building, and while he’s already raised rent for others, he has kept mine the same because of the fact that he knows I want to be out of here when my daughter graduates. So, when I signed my new lease, we agreed he would do the lease until May and keep me at the same price – but if I wanted to stay and ended up being here in June, it would go up to $1,000 a month like everyone else.

This building is NOT worth that much monthly, and nothing is updated. Nothing gets fixed right away, and I’ve had so many issues in this building, it’s time to go.

He messaged me today and asked if I think I can be out by May 1st, because he found someone to take the apartment. I told him my daughter doesn’t graduate until the end of May. He messaged me back and said he’ll tell the people they can move in – June 1st then.

I laughed because NEVER did I say we were definitely moving, and I know he doesn’t like to have empty apartments here, so he tries to fill them as fast as he can, but he never even asked if I was sure I was moving – before he “found someone to take the apartment”.

Yes, we will be out because trust me when I say – I’ve never been happier to leave a place – than I am leaving this one, but at the same time – it holds so many great and fun memories, that I will cry when the apartment is empty and we’re on to new beginnings and new memories in a new place this year. πŸ₯Ί This is the last place I saw my oldest child before she was killed.

We celebrated her 21st birthday in this apartment. She drew a smiley face on the wall that night and I haven’t touched it.

We’ve had many great Christmas’s here, and late-night talks in the kitchen when my kids and I couldn’t sleep and we just laughed so much together in the middle of the night.

This apartment holds a piece of my heart, and although I’ll be so happy to see the moving truck in the driveway and the last items going into the truck to get the hell out of here, I plan to ask to have 5 minutes alone in here – and just let out all the emotions of leaving the place we’ve lived in – for 6 years now.

All the memories and good times. All the funny moments. All the laughter.

Saying goodbye to somewhere you’ve lived for so long is never easy – and while you know it’s the best thing for you and your family, it’s still so hard to do.

As the time approaches to the day that I know I’ll stand in each empty room and cry, I am so thankful for every moment we’ve had here.

I was telling a friend today about the landlord already having new people ready to take over June 1st, and that I didn’t even give him a full answer if I was moving or not, and we laughed about it, but she made a good point. She told me, “Shel, you’ve been fighting with yourself about if you’re making the right choice moving or not, and maybe this is God’s way of pushing you out of there – to somewhere better”. I agree. Maybe.

I’m a little scared. I must admit.

So many changes are about to happen, and I just pray God guides us and makes every decision I make for me and my kids – great ones.

I can only hope I’m doing the right thing by getting us out of Minnesota and somewhere closer to home. Around those we love and know. Around places we love and know. Am I going directly back into Chicago? Absolutely not, but am I going closer? Totally. Wisconsin / IL. border is perfect, and I just hope that our new place – our new lives there – are beautiful.

I’ve been looking for a place recently because the first thing I want to do when taxes come in – is drop the money on a place I love, so little by little – we can start taking our things we don’t need or use right now – to the new place, and so when my daughter does graduate – we already have a place to move to, and that will be one thing off my mind.

*****

New Niece:

I must also tell you all that my new niece was born last month.

Her mother did name her “Ella” like her and my brother planned before they broke up, and she’s the cutest thing.

If I did mention that in another post already, my bad. If not – there ya go!

I feel like she looks just like my brother, but just to be sure – since this girl refuses to talk to my brother – he did hire a lawyer to the whole DNA testing and to make sure he has visitations with his daughter.

Hell, I want to message this girl and tell her, “Let me see my niece!”. However, I know it has to be done the legal way, and I’m not trying to get my brother in any kind of trouble or issues with this girl. If it is his kid, I hope I get to see her soon, and with me being closer to home this summer if all goes well, I look forward to babysitting, seeing my niece often, and being in her life.

I hope and pray that my brother gets to be in her life – even if his ex wants nothing to do with him.

I look forward to seeing my nephews and taking them more, and I know for sure that my brother’s ex-wife (different woman) – will be more than happy to get a break and hand my nephews over to me. πŸ€—

Being an Auntie of possibly three now – that’s another new change and I’m excited about that.

*****

New career:

With the new opportunities that I feel like moving somewhere bigger is going to bring, I’m excited to start looking for jobs in Probation.

I have no idea if that’s the direction God will bring me in, but I also know so many other places and people that have connections to get me in wherever I decide to go. I know that my degrees, my knowledge, my skills, my experience – will lead me to the right job as well, and I leave it in God’s hands.

Even if I don’t end up doing my dream job of probation – wherever I go, I just want to know I’m making a difference in lives of those who don’t have anyone, who need help, or someone to care – and that I can do whatever I can to make them feel loved and cared for. That I can help them change their lives.

Even if I can’t save them all. πŸ’•

So, I’m looking forward to many more opportunities than there are out here, and to a new career – even though – again, it’s going to be bitter-sweet to leave where I am now because I’ve gotten to know and love all of my tenants at my job, and they love the heck out of me and my son – who also works there with me.

I do plan to give my number to some of them, so they can keep in touch, call me whenever they’re having a tough time or just want to talk, and to keep in contact with them to know how they’re all doing.

I’m going to miss them dearly when I move.

I hate getting attached to people.

The goodbyes are always heartbreaking.

Some changes are great, and some are great – AND sad.

but………………………….

When I tell you that I’m so much looking forward to family saying, “Come on over”, and I can say, “Be there in an hour or so” – I totally mean that. When friends call and say they’re coming over, or “let’s go do something fun”, I can say, “Let’s go!”, and mean that. I do look forward to being around those I’ve missed for so long and haven’t seen in forever.

And yet again…

Leaving those I’ve met in Minnesota that have become such a huge part of my life – is tough.

I’ve met some amazing people out here, and I hope and pray we all keep in contact, and maybe I’ll come back and visit them here once-in-a-while.

There’s so many things that are going to break me and make me cry when I leave this small town, and there’s so many things that are going to make me smile when I move closer to home – that all these changes are like a Win-lose situation. Ah.

I hate changes sometimes, but again – they can be so beautiful as well.

So, there’s lots of changes coming and I just hope everything goes smoothly.

****Laugh with me****

Other than all the changes – my car was finally fixed. Yes, Maggie got taken care of.

I took the car in last week after months of issues with it and fining out it was the Timing chain, a sensor and Spark plugs.

I got it back the same day, and it was running beautifully for that day and the next, but when I went to pick the kids up from school, it sounded like it started, and whenever I hit the “push to start” button, it kept sounding like it restarted, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. I could put it into different gears, and it wouldn’t do anything.

It smelled highly of gasoline, and the battery light was on, and that wasn’t on before I sent it for service.

I called the mechanic who did the Timing chain, sensor and Spark plugs, and he came right over because he’s only a few blocks down.

He lifted the hood, checked it out and told me – (while kind of laughing) “Your Fuel Pump went” …………………..(and he made an exploding sound with his mouth).

EXCUSE ME, SIR?!

First of all, it’s not funny, so why are you smirking? 2nd, YOU did the work, so what did you mess up that my fuel pump is bad now?

I wasn’t blaming him. You know I use humor in bad situations, and it helps me not scream my lungs out. ha.

Humor helps me keep my sanity. lol.

I joked that he did the work, and I wondered if he messed it up, so I’d have to come back and give him more money.

He said he has no idea why, but it came off or wasn’t connected, and he ended up connecting it or whatever he did and said it should be fine now. He said I may need a new fuel pump eventually, maybe not. It may be a fuel leak, maybe not. It is – or it isn’t?!!!! It needs to be replaced, or it doesn’t.

I don’t want to hear all those “maybes”.

He said if I had any further issues, bring it back – but now my check engine light is on. So, I have to bring it back to him anyway, but the car is running so much better than it was before the Timing chain and all the other stuff was taken care of, and for that – I’m grateful.

I just pray it’s nothing else, because I don’t need any more headaches with this damn car.

Maybe I just need to marry a mechanic.

You have to laugh and keep your sense of humor or life will drive you crazy.

In other news….

My older son has taken to calling me “Little Rockstar” now. lmfao.

I have no idea why or how that started, but I guess it’s because I do so much, and rock it – make things look so easy – and handle my business both at work and at home. He has started saying things like, “You got this, Little Rockstar”, or “You go Little Rockstar”. He’ll say things like, “I know you can do this, Little Rockstar!”, and “Look at you go, Little Rockstar!”.

He makes me laugh every time he says something with Little Rockstar in it, but it also makes me smile because it’s his own little personal nickname for me now. 😁 I don’t mind it!

If I had a bad day or I’m just venting, he’ll say, “You’ll be alright, Little Rockstar”.

Besides humor, my kids totally keep me sane and make me want to keep going.

OKAY, OKAY.

I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time to write – mostly because I’m trying to figure out and handle all these changes that are about to happen, and making sure everything is paid, taken care of, and good before my daughter graduates and we move.

Life is about to get crazy the next few months – more than it already has been – and I’m trusting God to handle it all with me.

That’s really all that’s been happening around here.

My little guy had the nurse call me from school today because he wanted medicine since he’s sick, and the nurse wanted to make sure it was okay to give him something, and my daughter called me from school because she forgot her glasses, so I had to run those up.

Besides changes and parenting – I have nothing big going on – then again – those are big, aren’t they?!

Oh wait – wait – wait…..

I tried dating.

Yes, I did.

After such a long time – I tried to dip my toes into the dating pool again, and it sucked.

I met a guy I actually loved talking to, and he was constantly messaging me, and he was great at communicating – however – he was only 28. I’m 43. He said he didn’t care about my age, and that his last girlfriend was 41. I told him I have kids, and with him not having kids – I didn’t want him to feel burdened by mine if he ever met them, especially because my son is 23, so he’s only a few years older than my oldest son. He’s only 2 years older than what my oldest kiddo would have been if she was still alive. So, I felt awkward. He – didn’t care about any of that age stuff, or the fact that I have kids.

He was fine with all of it.

He then said he works, but that he does live with his parents.

I think that’s another thing that bothered me. Him still living with his parents, which means if I ever wanted to go to his place – there’s really no privacy, and I asked if his parents would be okay with him bringing home a 43-year-old that has kids. He said his parents would just be happy he met someone, and they’re happy – if he’s happy. He said they met his ex-girlfriend, and they didn’t care that she was 41. He said his mom and dad got along great with her, and she had kids as well, so no – they wouldn’t mind me or my kids.

I still felt awkward.

I tried so hard to continue to talk to him, but my older son and I were talking about it, and I was surprised when my older son heard his age and told me, “So what? If he’s a good guy – what’s the worst that can happen? You have yourself a good boyfriend? OH NO!”. Yes, my son was being sarcastic, and he really didn’t care that this guy was only 28 – as long as I was finally happy with someone.

When I told him that this guy still lives with his parents, that was the deal-breaker for my son.

He said that’s a different story, and then he had me laughing when he said he’s 23 – and one thing he doesn’t want – is to be 28 and still living at home with me. My son always says if he’s not out by 25, I need to kick him out. ha.

So, eventually – I decided to part ways with this guy I was talking to, and I will say that he may have been a great guy – (I didn’t stick around to find out) – but if he was 28 and living alone – I may have felt better. I would have totally felt better if he was in his 30’s. I can do 30’s, but 28 was a little weird for me, and him living with his parents at 28 – even more so. I think it’s just the fact that I’m older and living alone with my kids, so I want someone who has their own place as well.

Let me say that there is nothing wrong with living with your parents still at any age because so many people need to go back home. This economy isn’t built for one income and trust me – I know that first-hand, so while I was understanding about him living at home still, he also didn’t seem to have any plans to get out on his own any time soon – which I think is what really bothered me – as well as the age thing.

He didn’t seem motivated to get out.

Not to mention that he had no kids, and I didn’t want him to feel tied down to mine. I think it would have been different if maybe he had a kid or two because then he knows how parenting goes. What really did it for me – was the fact that I mentioned one night that I was out having dinner with friends, and that I planned to have a drink or two when I got home (just a glass of wine) – and he asked why I was having a drink on a Tuesday night – BEFORE BED – like he was monitoring me.

I just felt like it wasn’t a good match, I wished him well, and I hope he finds his person.

Maybe I’m the problem.

Maybe I’m picky. Maybe I should have looked past all of that and gave him a chance? Idk.

Anyway – if you’re still here reading this, much love to you and pray that all the decisions and all the changes in the next few months – will go perfect for me and my little family. πŸ’•

I want my mom.

I want to call her and ask her advice. Tell her everything on my mind. Have her tell me, “Everything will be okay”.

*Insert scream here*

This is the part of trusting God that nobody talks about.

XOXO.

πŸ’•ShelπŸ’•