Author: Shel R.

43. Mama to four. Coffee and red wine keep me sane (ha) When I'm stressed, you can catch me writing here or in the saddle running a horse through a field. I love hoodie weather. Check out by "About me" page for more. Love you!
Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, my brother called me last week.

Yes, you read that right. My brother. The one I haven’t talked to in months because he keeps blocking me if he doesn’t like when I tell him the truth about what I think, or what he needs to hear.

I looked at my missed call list and totally ignored his call.

I didn’t plan to talk to him because I’m so tired of him blocking me. Unblocking me. Blocking me. Unblocking me.

It got to the point where I was okay if we never spoke again – if it meant I get to keep my peace and not have to worry about the pettiness that comes with his drama.

However, a few days later – he was texting me.

He misses me. He’s so sorry. He realizes he was being childish. He went on and on about why I should talk to him, including a few jokes along with his texts. He said he blocked me because I kept asking about his new baby that his ex-fiancé had – and he had no answers for me.

I asked him what was going on with court, because he started a court case to see his daughter and he did nothing with it once it was filed, and he met (yet another) new fiancé he has now. I was irritated that he wasn’t even trying to fight for or see his newborn daughter.

Anyway, he and I were talking the other day – (because he’s still family) – and he ended up asking if I remembered a few people we grew up with in – or close to the same neighborhood. I smiled because I remembered many of them, and he told me about the ones he still talks to or has on his Facebook and told me what some of them are up to these days.

He ended up asking if I remember Jayla and Jayden. *Names changed for privacy*.

I absolutely do!

Jayla was one of my good friends when we were teenagers, and I haven’t talked to her since we were in our late 20’s, and I found her on Facebook years and years ago. For some reason, we ended up losing contact again. Her brother Jayden – was such a cutie when we used to hang out as teenagers, and he and I would always flirt.

Jayden gave the best hugs and if I was having a bad day, he’d take me in his arms, squeeze me and wouldn’t let go until I promised him that I was okay.

We were always hanging out with them or at their house when their parents were at work. They had a few other brothers as well.

So, when he asked if I remembered them, I asked if he still talked to them. He said no.

I put my cell phone on speaker and quickly looked up Jayla first. I noticed she hasn’t posted anything for years, but I found her Facebook, and on the random chance that she sees it – I sent her a friend request. I then looked up her brother Jayden and found him right away.

He’s in his late 30’s now, but he’s still so handsome.

I sent him a friend request as well. He accepted it a few hours later.

He messaged me right away and talked to me like no time had passed at all. 🤗

I told him that I was going to ask if he remembers me, but when he started talking – I didn’t need to. He laughed and made me smile when he said, “Of course I remember you! I had the biggest crush on you back then!”.

I read the message like:

Wait a minute!

You never told me that!!!

I admitted that I also had the biggest crush on him, and no. I never told him that because I didn’t know he felt the same way, but we were teenagers. We were so young, and I laugh about all of it now.

We talked on Facebook a few days ago – about our kids, the lives we have now, me earning two Criminal Justice degrees and moving to Minnesota, him still living in IL. and just laughed about the good old times when we all used to hang out and get into trouble.

He said he really misses those days, and so do I!

We had a nice conversation, and it felt good talking to him again – but then – I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said, “Married to”, and had her name attached to it. He asked if I was married. I said no. I told him I’ve been divorced since 2013, and just to see what he would say, I asked if he was married. He was honest and said yes, but they’re having problems.

I didn’t ask any questions because that’s not my business, and truthfully, I was just happy I was able to reconnect with him – as a good, longtime friend of mine from way back.

When I went to look at his other photos on his Facebook page, I realized he deleted me.

Oh.

Ok.

I messaged him and told him he should have just denied the friend request if he was going to delete me, but I don’t think you can send certain people messages unless you are friends on Facebook at first, so I think he did it because of that. Idk.

I did tell him I wish him the best.

He messaged me back and he gave me his cell phone number.

He replied with, “I do want to continue to talk, and keep in touch. I just don’t want my wife seeing you on my Facebook, and I have to sit and explain everything to her. We’re having problems and I don’t need her drama or her asking questions”.

I understood that, and I asked if she was the jealous type. He said, “Yes and no”. I had no idea what that even meant, so I didn’t ask – but I knew that if he had to hide me from his wife – maybe this was one of those chapters in life – that should just stay closed.

If he couldn’t tell her that nothing ever happened between us, we were good friends when we were younger, and we just reconnected – then maybe – it was best that we just said hi to each other, talked about the good old memories, and moved on with our lives. No numbers. No keep in touch. Nothing.

He then asked me to send him a picture, “So I could have something to dream about when I go to bed”. Yep. That’s what he literally said.

I almost wanted to go on the Facebook of his wife, take one of her photos, and send it to him.

Dream about your wife, dude!

I didn’t do that.

Anyone who knows me – knows I don’t come between marriages, and I have morals, dammit! lol.

I told him no.

I felt like him having to hide our friendship from her, and him asking for photos of me – was crossing more lines than I wanted. I was just looking to reconnect with him after all these years, and it would have been nice to see him again one day if he wasn’t married, but the fact is – he is married – with a few kids.

He needed to respect his wife.

He needed to respect me – as just a good friend from the past – who would have loved to stay friends if I didn’t see what his intentions were that night.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

If you’re not happy in your marriage, sit your partner down and talk it out. If you feel like it’s just not going to work out – get out of the marriage. I know so many people in unhappy marriages, and instead of leaving – some of them would rather cheat, flirt, lie, hide other people they may be happy with.

I never understood that.

So, I told him I was going to bed, and I had work in the morning – (which wasn’t a lie), and I told him it was nice talking to him – and I closed that chapter of my life – again and for good.

I was a little bothered that he felt the need to hide me.

I was a little sad that he didn’t respect his wife enough to not ask me for a photo (of my ass as well), and that it went the way it did – instead of us laughing and catching up like old times, but – it is what it is, and I’m happy he’s alive, well and doing okay.

That’s the end of it.

No. I won’t be using his number.

Anyway – let me tell you about work!

I giggled when a co-worker of mine told me yesterday – that anytime she talks about people at work – to her boyfriend, she always uses “alias” names, and she laughed when I told her I do the same thing when I’m blogging.

I mean – privacy is key, right?!

Some of you enjoy my work stories and I love telling them.

We have a man I’ll call “Chino”, and I think I talked about him before.

Chino has memory loss from an accident he was in many years ago, but he’s still so funny and wild.

The memory loss is only once-in-a-while, but when he gets it – it hits him bad, and sometimes – things he forgot about will come back out of nowhere.

His girlfriend that I’ll call “Shannon” – passed away last year, and he hasn’t really talked about her since. We all thought he forgot about her – and he probably did.

The other day, I was coming back from down the hall and he was panicking. He asked me where Shannon was and told me he can’t find her.

The facility nurse and I – asked if he meant his girlfriend. He said yes.

I was happy when the facility nurse told him gently, “Chino, she passed last year. Don’t you remember? You went to go see her before she passed”. He seemed so upset to hear that news, but slowly – he did remember.

This job is so much fun, but times like these – break my heart and we do have sad moments at the facility.

Yesterday, I was working and he came downstairs and asked if I had his money card.

I said no. I told him that his case manager would have it. I asked him if he wanted me to call his case manager to come to the front. He said yes. So, I did.

While we were waiting, I asked what he wanted his money card for, and he said he wanted to go to Duluth, MN. He said there’s a homeless shelter out there he wants to stay in for a while, because he wants to see new things and travel the world.

He said he can’t stay in one place for too long, yet – he’s been in this facility for years now and doesn’t recall sometimes. Other times, he can tell you exactly how long he’s been there.

Yesterday, he came downstairs many different times asking who has his money card, despite me telling him it’s the case manager, and despite him talking to the case manager about leaving – many different times.

He’s done this before where he’ll talk about packing, getting his money card and hitching a ride to Duluth, but yesterday – he told me Duluth a few times, then he kept saying Fargo, ND. So, eventually, I joked with him and asked where he’s going for real – because he doesn’t even seem to know.

He insisted he was going to Duluth.

He kept talking about how he “wants to see the world before he dies”. The man is young. He’s super young – so, I told him that and joked that if he wants to see the world, he came come into the office and I’d pull up a map with photos for him. I joked that I would go next door to the antique shop and even buy him a spinning globe to see the world.

One of those old school globes that classrooms used to have. He laughed.

I think the case manager just kind of brushed it off as Chino doing what Chino does …talking about leaving, and he’s right there going nowhere the very next day, forgetting he was even wanting to go.

Still, when Chino talks about leaving, I kind of just joke with him and play into it – knowing most likely – he’ll be there on my next shift, and I’m okay with that. I adore Chino.

He did make me laugh yesterday because he always asks for coffee, I’ll give it to him, and he’ll stand by the front desk and pour sugar – spilling it all over the door counter, leaving it for me to clean up. So, I joked and asked him who was going to make me clean up their mess if he leaves?

He replied, “I know huh? Don’t cry about it!”. lol.

****

Jay-Lee.

My Jay-Lee.

She’s a young girl.

Such a sweetheart, and so very vulnerable, so I try to look out for Jay-lee when I’m at work.

She’s an alcoholic with a lot of health issues.

She gets black-out drunk, stumbles in the facility, or she needs staff to go get her because she’s laying on the ground somewhere outside and others come and alert us.

A few weeks ago, she met my daughter.

I took some important keys home with me and had to go back to bring them in, and my daughter was with me. Jay-lee gave her a big hug when I introduced them, and I told my daughter, “If you get a Jay-Lee hug, you’re special! She doesn’t just hand those out freely!”. My daughter laughed.

My daughter then told me quietly, that Jay-Lee was crying.

I looked at her, and she was.

Jay-Lee said she doesn’t have her kids in her life right now, and that her mother doesn’t really talk to her, so I knew it made her feel some kind of way – meeting my daughter. I felt bad.

I told Jay-Lee, “How about this? This is my baby at home, and when I come to work, you’re my baby here?”. She smiled and joked about me being young, too! She told me, “You can be my big sister!”. That’s what Jay-Lee is to me now. My little sister. She walks around calling me, “Sis”, and I look out for her like she’s my little sis.

This past weekend, Jay-Lee was drunk.

Her boyfriend came and asked if someone could go get her outside because she didn’t want to get up.

My son and I work together on the weekends, so since he’s a bigger guy and he knew he could lift her into the wheelchair, he grabbed the wheelchair and went out to see where she was. He made it back inside with her, and I took her up to her room.

We had a “Come to Jesus” meeting! 🙄

I looked her in the eyes, and told her – “Baby, you can’t do this to yourself anymore! It’s one thing to have a few drinks on the weekend to relax, but it’s a whole other monster you’re messing with – to get blackout drunk and not remember what happened the next day, or to be passed out somewhere where someone might leave you there to be raped, or murdered! You’re playing with fire, little sis!”.

She started crying. She kept telling me, “I know! I know!

I sat there and brought up a few different incidents that have happened in the building and out of it when she’s been so drunk like this before, and how things could have ended up really bad, or did end up bad.

Did I tell her that her kids are going to see her in a casket sooner than later if she keeps this drinking up? I did.

She said their father died a while back, and she didn’t want them to lose their mother.

I told her, “But they’re going to J. You’re not healthy and you’re not making good choices!”.

She was in tears, but she needed to be told reality.

I brought up consequences, and choices.

We talked about all of that, and I told her it has to stop.

She said drinking gives her something to do.

I told her if she wants something to do, call me – and we’ll go hang out, or play pool, or do something constructive. She cried more and told me that everyone is older than her and since she’s so young, she feels pressured to drink, to which – I brought up choices again and how pressure = choices.

How choices = rewards or consequences.

Her uncle is in our facility as well, so she asked if we could find him that day.

We ended up going back down to the lobby and when we got there – her uncle was there.

He was angry and asked why she keeps getting so drunk, but he took her back to his room, so he could watch over her for a few hours.

As much fun as I have working there – as much as I joke around and enjoy some of my interactions with our tenants / residents – we do have those sad moments. Those serious moments. Those times we have to be tough and tell it like it is.

Jay-Lee said she’d like to hang out with me instead of getting drunk, but she doesn’t even have my phone number.

I told her I’d give it to her when she sobers up.

But then – we have those funny moments as well…………..

****

Julian is our newest resident.

He moved in recently, and before that – he came to visit his girlfriend who also lives in the facility, so he would always give me shit (in a good way), and just bother me or joke with me.

He’s pretty cool.

I just found out he was approved to move in a week ago, and he says, “Now I’ll be here to bother you all the time!”. I playfully rolled my eyes, and told him sarcastically, “Oh joy!”.

Yesterday when he moved in – I was about to eat lunch and as I was sitting at the desk, he snuck up on me and scared the hell out of me. I told him from now on, I’m waking him up at 7 AM – on the dot – banging on his door like I’m the police.

I told him I’m going to get on his nerves now.

He laughed and told me, “Don’t do that!”.

Oh no, sir! Fair game now. haha.

No, I wouldn’t do that, but it was funny telling him I would.

******

JoJo.

My JoJo.

We have a woman there who I’ve gotten so close to, and she’ll come down often to chat with me and keep me company.

I’m so proud of Jojo because even when the temptations of this world and being an addict – tempt her to go back, she refuses and she’s been clean for so long now. Jojo is such a strong woman, and I admire her for her strength to keep moving forward and not give in to temptation – no matter what life throws her way.

JoJo makes me feel so bad sometimes, because if I’m leaving – she’ll ask what I’m going to do tonight, what I’m making for dinner, or she’ll say, “Take me with you”. I remember one time I told her we’d have to bring her over for dinner one day, and she took it to the – “Yeah, we’ll have a sleepover party”. 🤣Wait girl – nobody said anything about a sleepover. lol.

She’s awesome though, and I love talking to her.

A few days ago, as I was walking through the parking lot after my shift – and going to my car, she screamed my name out of her 2nd floor window. She yelled, “Take me with you!”. I yelled back, “Come on! Jump out of the window. I’ll sneak you into the car!”.

Jojo always wants to come with me when I’m leaving or tells me she just wants to get out of there for a while, and I know those are her cute little hints for an invitation to go anywhere!

I promised her that when I go to Hobby Lobby to put together something for my daughter I want to give her for graduation – I’d take her with. So, a few days ago, she asked me if I did that thing for my daughter’s graduation yet. I smiled and told her, “No, but I did promise you that when I go – you’re coming with me!”. I then told her that she has to stop me from buying the entire store though, and she made me laugh when she said, “Oh hell! I’ll be shopping with you. You can’t trust me to stop you!”. 😁

Jojo makes me giggle, especially the faces she makes when she sees someone she doesn’t like.

She’ll sit there looking them up and down and I have to pray that Jojo behaves herself, and doesn’t say anything, but she’s usually pretty polite unless someone provokes her.

Truth is…

When I move out of this town and hopefully state – I’m going to miss the hell out of these people and one day – I hope to come back and visit.

Minnesota is a beautiful vacation spot, but not a great place to live if you’re from a bigger city originally.

*****

Moving.

We have two months until we move.

I just ordered more moving boxes, and we’re starting to fully pack up, bring everything to the living room and stacking stuff against walls to prepare.

I know eventually – I’ll have to probably make a list of places I want to go look at, head out to Wisconsin or IL. and make my choice on our new place. I know I’ll have to rent the U-Haul and load it up on that last day that we’re here.

The new owners are more than happy to give me my deposit back the same day we leave – instead of making me wait weeks for it like some have to – when they leave this place.

I’m scared. I’m excited for our new adventure. I’m worried and nervous, and also a little annoyed.

Moving is so stressful, and it was so easy to move to Minnesota, but it seems like it’s such a task to move back.

I think I’ll feel better once we’re in our new place unpacking, and we can finally breath again – knowing we have more job opportunities, we’re close to friends and family, we don’t have to drive miles or hours to see dentists, doctors, or just to do something fun, and – when we’re back near civilization.

These 6 years living in a small town – next to a farm where we can open the windows and hear the cows – has been different, exciting and fun at times – but – there’s not really a lot to do, and there’s been so many times I’ve felt lonely – because we don’t have anyone out here.

4th of July’s – are so hard on me, because in IL. people start shooting of fireworks a week before it.

I miss that!!!!

The day of – they’re shooting off M-80’s at 5 AM – and the fireworks – the BBQs, the fun – it all goes from 5 AM until 3 AM or later – the next day.

Out here in this small town – crickets and frogs. Yep. That’s what we’ve heard on the 4th of July. Crickets and frogs.

It’s so dead out here.

So, while I wasn’t sure if we were going to move or even be able to move – maybe this is God’s way of pushing us to something new, telling us HIS PLANS – and making good things happen.

Life doesn’t go the way we plan it sometimes, and I’ve always been told that we don’t get to do what we want. Sometimes, God has his own plans, and he’ll make life uncomfortable for a little bit – to see if you trust him or not. I do.

The next two months are going to be filled with graduation planning, moving planning, and – a busy schedule.

My loves.

I hope all of you have a beautiful week.

I plan to go have coffee tomorrow morning – with a great friend I made out here a few years ago.

My soul feels “lost” right now, and I have so much on my mind.

I always feel better sitting and talking to her over a cup of coffee, so she asked if we were still on for tomorrow, and absolutely! 💕

💕Shel💕

Change is good.

Change is good.

Shel R.Leave a comment

(The cute image above was adorably done by Dibujitos Cheverves) on Pinterest and reflects my need for sleep right now). ha.

So, I’ve mentioned a few days ago that our building has been sold.

I had no idea who the new landlords were until today.

It’s a married couple. A young married couple, and if I remember correctly – I met the husband a few months back when they came to look at the building and apartments, but I don’t remember meeting the wife. I could be wrong and he could just look like some other guy who came here to see the building, but if it’s the same guy I remember – I’ve met the husband.

They seem like a really sweet couple.

They seem like they’d make great landlords.

I was waiting for them today because the elderly woman who lives upstairs – told me that they were coming to give out information since they just took over ownership of the building.

I wanted to meet them. I wanted to talk to them about my lease.

My lease ends at the end of May, and I mentioned to my previously landlord – I’d probably be moving once my daughter graduates. He wasn’t going to renew the lease. He was going to find someone else to take over since I said I was moving.

However – we still haven’t found a place and things back home in IL. are highly expensive and overpriced right now. Gas is ridiculously overpriced, rent, etc. and as much as we want to move back home – I’ve been looking and looking and can’t find anything in the area we’d like to move to.

Parts of Wisconsin are great – but a lot of them are prone to them spinners – as I call them. The good old tornado.

I feel like maybe things aren’t working out as smoothly as I thought they would – because maybe we’re not supposed to move back to IL. or even close to it.

I wish heaven had a phone, so I could call God and ask what I’m supposed to do?! Get some answers from above.

I was watching the Chicago news about a teenage takeover last night in downtown Chicago where teens were acting wild, doing all sorts of goofy stuff, and taking over the streets.

I was watching the Chicago news this morning about teens on the Northside of Chicago (which is the better part of it) – breaking into cars and stealing airbags! AIRBAGS!!!! What in the world?!!!!!

My first thought when I saw the news today – was not only “WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR PARENTS?” – but also, “Maybe I don’t want to move back there as much as I think I do!”.

………..but anyway………..

I wanted to talk to the new landlords about possibly doing a month to month instead of me being stuck in another year-long lease at the end of this lease.

They didn’t knock on doors though or introduce themselves in person.

They left envelopes in everyone’s doors introducing themselves through a letter.

It asked tenants to download an app where we could pay rent, request repairs to be done, and communicate with them for anything else. The communication part – I’ll probably do tomorrow. It also said they require renter’s insurance (which actually isn’t expensive at all!). We are able to sign up right through the app or website.

I love the fact that we can pay rent online again because our last landlord had that – but after a few months, it was right back to sending him VENMO payments. He couldn’t keep up with the online payments – I guess. I love paying online and I just find it faster and easier than me having to send VENMO’s and messaging to ask if the rent was received.

When I looked online – it says my lease goes all the way until the end of May 2027 – but I don’t know if I want to be here that long, which is where the whole month to month thing comes into play. I don’t want to have to pay if I want to break my lease, and I need questions answered, so I’ll be getting ahold of the new owners.

Change is good, and I’m happy with this change.

Now, we all have to get used to the new landlords. They have to get used to us.

Hopefully it all goes well and works out.

So, they had us download this app – and I was on the app and the website – but neither one was letting me sign up – like the paper said we should be able to.

I laughed when the elderly woman upstairs and I – were messaging each other and she said her phone is so outdated – she needed to go get a new one just to download the app. She said I’d probably have to go upstairs and help her set everything up, and I totally have no issues doing that for her. ❤️ She’s my daughter’s English tutor in school actually, so we’ve gotten to know her pretty well.

As for this app –

I finally contacted support and found out the landlords have to send us an invite link – after they put us into the renter’s system online. I knew I wasn’t going crazy. I know damn well I’m great with computers and apps – so when I couldn’t figure out for 45 minutes – how to sign up – I was getting annoyed.

I messaged the husband because that’s the number on the letter everyone got, and he replied quickly saying he had the wrong email address for me, and his wife was sending me the link right now, and she did. I was able to sign up with no issues, deal with the whole renter’s insurance thing, and learn the new system for rent payments.

*****

Aside from that – my little dude is sick, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be making a walk-in clinic visit tomorrow night if he’s not better.

I picked up more hours at work to save more money to move.

I was interested in the Supervisor position at work like I said a few posts ago, and I wasn’t going to take it – but the money is really good, and I wanted the experience. I ended up messaging my boss and telling her that after doing some thinking, I’ll take it. She did tell me when I interviewed for it – that she has to interview a few others, and I understand.

I’m sure she wants someone with Supervisor experience, and if someone else gets it – I’m happy for them.

I found a new mechanic to work on my car. He’s a mobile mechanic and I see him all over Facebook in our local area, so I messaged him the other day and he was more than happy to come out by me and check everything out to see what’s really going on – after the last mechanic had me there 6 times and guessed much of it.

This mechanic has a lot of great reviews, but he charges $130 to come all the way to me, and I get that. That’s not too much, but I asked how much he’d charge if I went to him, and it’s $100. Hey – the guy has to make money, right?! So, I told him I’d go to him – both when he checks it out and figures out what’s wrong, and when he’s about to fix the issue. The real issue – and not just guessing like the other one.

I still wish I would have thought about the mechanic I know back home when I was out there a few weeks ago. I’m sure he could have easily figured it out and fixed it for me.

Other than that –

I miss family. I miss friends back home. I miss familiar places. I miss good authentic food. I miss Tony’s. For those who had never been in a Tony’s store – you have no idea what you’re missing!

They have everything!

My mind is all over the place tonight. I’m just rambling right now.

I wish I could find the key to my treadmill to get a workout in before I go to bed.

I’ve been stressed and I could use something to burn this energy.

If it wasn’t so damn dark outside right now and I wasn’t afraid of all the wild-life we have out here – I’d go for a late-night jog. Hell, maybe I need to make more friends around here and call someone to tell them to pick me up for a late-night drive through these country roads.

If I’m stuck here another year – I may just have to make some more friends out here.

I’ve avoided interacting with people out here because it’s a really small town. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone is in each other’s business and gossips so much, and that’s just not my thing. So, I keep to myself, but I’m so down to meet new people and make new friends if I’m stuck here for another year.

Yep. I’m rambling about nothing and everything at the same time.

So, I’m going to end it here and get some sleep.

I’m working tomorrow for my boss. She has a lot going on right now and I told her I’d pick up her shift tomorrow – plus – it’s more hours and money for me, so I don’t mind.

Have a beautiful night my loves. I hope to read all of your wonderful posts tomorrow night and catch up with all of you.

❤️Shel❤️

Senior Ditch Day – almost to the finish line and talking about Ella (The niece).

Senior Ditch Day – almost to the finish line and talking about Ella (The niece).

Shel R.2 Comments

(The above adorable photo was taken from Pinterest, and I’d love to credit the artist, but have no idea who it is).

Anyway….

My daughter is so close to graduation, and the Seniors have started talking about Senior Ditch Day, and what they were going to do.

They have a group chat that many of the Seniors are in – on Snapchat – including my daughter.

My daughter was honest with me and told me she will NOT be in classes or school at all – on that day. She wanted to “let me know!”. I laughed, but she’s done so amazing all these years, and I can’t even be mad because she’s never ditched school, so the one day she does – that’s actually made for Seniors to ditch – go for it, kid!

Just be safe, let me know where you are, and keep in contact with me!

She is a little disappointed and bothered because they had a choice between going swimming at a water park, or to the trampoline park, and she was one of the ones – (along with a few others) – who picked the trampoline park.

She doesn’t like the way she looks in a swimsuit. She doesn’t care when she’s around family, but when it’s her classmates, she says “No way!”. She asked if we could just go to the trampoline park – when half the class voted for swimming / the water park.

Then – the leader of the group chat changed it. He said they could also do the trampoline park or the Casino.

My daughter is only 17, so she can’t get into the Casino, unfortunately.

Not even to just walk around and enjoy Senior Ditch Day with the graduating class.

Many of the Seniors are already 18 and said they would rather go to the Casino – with one of the girls suggesting they all pitch in and get a hotel room or two for the night. This girl who suggested it – said that the ones who only 17 – can stay in the hotel room until the others are done at the Casino, but I feel like that’s a little unfair and absolutely boring for the 17-year-olds.

I felt bad for my daughter.

So, when she asked if her, her good friend Peyden, and I – could go to the trampoline park the day of Senior Ditch Day – I said we’d see, but most likely.

I don’t want my daughter to be left out because of her age, and I also don’t want Peyden to maybe want to join the class of 2026 at the Casino and miss out because she’s 18 and my daughter is not – but she feels bad that my daughter can’t go.

I feel like they should all come up with something they can agree on and do as the entire graduating class.

So, as of now – the plan is the Casino and hotel for the group of 18-year-olds. I’m sure there will also be drinking of course, so I’m kind of happy in a way – that my daughter isn’t 18 yet. I think it’s sad that they won’t reconsider for the ones who are not yet 18, but it is what it is.

My daughter won’t be 18 until after she graduates. Months after.

I probably will take them to the trampoline park that day, and out to eat. I want them to have fun and be able to do whatever they want to do.

Along with Senior Ditch Day – comes planning my daughter’s graduation get-together. I call it get-together instead of a party – because it’s just going to be a bunch of her friends, and a lot of fun! I’m not sure if we’re doing it here at the house, ordering pizza, blasting the music and just letting them have a great time, or – if I’m going to rent a hall, the bowling alley, or go skating – and just do this mini get-together party somewhere else, so I don’t have to clean up after.

I giggled this morning when her friend Mya – told me that her dad was in her room late last night – asking what she wants him to order for her graduation party and told me they were renting the lot next door to their house for it.

I guess I should start making plans for Kailani’s get-together, huh?! I think I mentioned before that she doesn’t want a big party, and she likes her personal space, so I ended up skipping the Cardi B. concert I wanted to go to – to get her Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets that she wanted so bad – as an early graduation gift.

She was so excited.

Still, knowing I have to plan this get-together – (which I’ll probably do a few days before graduation) – and make sure last minute graduation details are all taken care of – it’s going to be a long – next few weeks.

It’s almost here, and I’m so happy for her.

I asked her yesterday when she’ll get her cap and gown because the teens are allowed to decorate their caps, and she’s been showing me some of her ideas.

I also want to take more Senior photos for fun – now that the weather is getting nicer, and I want to make sure we have tons of photos with her friends – that she can remember and cherish for life. 💕 I know once graduation is over in a few months, my daughter and all her friends that have been so close since 7th and 8th grade – will be going their own ways in life and headed on new paths with new people and new adventures.

I just hope they all keep in contact – no matter how old they are in the future.

I have friends now – that I met in kindergarten and kept in touch with all these years / decades later, so I hope her and her friends – stay friends for life.

You all know the tears are going to flow as soon as I see her walk into the gym with the others I’ve become “mom” to over the years. She’s my biological daughter, but I have so many “adopted” babies that have become mine since I’ve met them, and to see them all graduate and finish high school together – is going to make me so proud.

It’s also so bitter-sweet because I know life is going to take them in opposite directions after high school, as I said – so – we may never see some of them again.

I pray for all of them and wish nothing but the best for them – including my daughter of course!

My daughter plans to go on to training after high school – to get her EMT certification, and after a year – she’ll try to become a full Paramedic, and then she plans to go to college with the money she’s earning from her Paramedic job – to try to become a Crime Scene Investigator, or the person who cleans up Crime scenes. Yep. She wants to go into Criminal Justice – just like her mama! 🤗

I’d like to think that me earning my associate degree and BA in Criminal Justice – motivated her to do the same.

I sat in the high school parking lot this morning talking to my daughter, her friend Mya and her friend Angel, and when they all went to class, I almost started crying – thinking to myself, “These days are almost over!”.

All the high school drama I’ve heard over the years – all the early mornings waking up on school days – all the arguments over homework and different assignments she didn’t want to do and I made her, all the funny moments – all the stuff that drove me crazy… I’m going to miss this!

I know I am.

It reminds me of the excellent Trace Adkins song I love so much:

Before I get emotional – let me talk about something different. 🙄😁

*****

I was asked yesterday – if my niece’s mother ever messaged me or called. The answer is No.

For those who don’t know – I have a new niece named (Ella). She is a few months old now and I haven’t seen her, except for one photo from when she was born – that my brother’s ex posted online. My brother and her don’t talk as far as I know, and she wants nothing to do with my brother.

However, I still want to know my niece. I want my niece to know that Auntie loves her, and Auntie is here for her – no matter what.

So, I sent her mother a package with the cutest clothes, onesies, baby outfits, Pajamas, baby shoes, baby spoons for when she starts eating, and some other things. I also sent a card congratulating my brother’s ex, telling her I want to get to know Ella, and asking her to message me or call.

Nothing. And – I sent it last month if I remember correctly.

She probably thinks I did it, so she’d talk to my brother, but she doesn’t even know I don’t talk to my brother anymore.

Either way – she never even said “Thanks!”, and you know what? That’s okay. I hope she got it and God knows my heart was in the right place when I sent it to her for my niece. I also included a Bath N’ Body works gift card in that Congratulations card, so she could do something nice for herself as well.

I don’t even know if she got it or not, because she’s not saying anything, but it says it was delivered.

What I do know though – is that a few days ago – I got a notification on TikTok.

Good ol’ TikTok tells you who views your profile – IF – they’re signed in.

That’s right! If you want to look at someone’s profile and don’t want them to know – don’t sign in and just look them up.

If their profile is public, you can see it and it won’t show them you viewed it, but – this person was signed in, and it showed they just made their account recently. So, I was able to view it, and I giggled when it was a fake name – but it said “Sister” from your contacts – is on TikTok – and that “Sister” viewed your profile.

When her and my brother were together, I named her “Sister” when I entered her number into my phone – thinking she was one day – going to my new sister-in-law. So, when she thought she was slick signing up for a different TikTok account, using a fake name, and putting her real phone number when she signed up – that didn’t work out for her.

I sat there giggling.

I told my daughter and she laughed with me.

I ended up messaging this fake name on this fake profile – knowing exactly who it was viewing my profile – and I was funny about it.

“When you stalk someone on a burner account / fake account – you’re not supposed to sign up for that burner / fake account with a real email or phone number that can be traced back to you!”. 🤣

I told her I knew it was her.

I told her I’m sorry for everything that happened between her and my brother.

I told her I don’t blame her for leaving him or not wanting anything to do with him – because of how he is, and that I just want to get to know my niece.

I told her I’d appreciate it if she at least let me know if she got the package that I sent to her or not – even if she wants to tell me to “F*** off!”. I’d respect her wishes, and that I wasn’t trying to cause her any drama or problems, but I’d also appreciate it if she lets Ella know me.

I asked her to reach out to me.

Still – nothing, and now that I sent that message – the fake profile has been deleted – it looks like.

Also, if someone ever wants to talk to me, message me, etc. – let me be clear that you don’t have to look me up, view me or stalk me on a fake account. Just be yourself, message me as yourself, and say, “Hey!”. I don’t mind chatting.

So, no – I haven’t heard anything from her, but she did view my TikTok – and probably my other socials.

I’m just bothered that I can’t get to know my niece and there’s really not much I can do about it, but birthdays – holidays, etc. I do plan to put some money to the side for Ella, and when she is a teenager or old enough to know who I am and me to message her one day in the future – I will give her anything I’ve saved her for, any money, and see what comes of it.

*****

I wish I had more to sit here and tell you, but I don’t.

My life is pretty boring at the moment and all I do is work, try to save as much money as I can to move, figure out how and where to move, pay bills, work some more, and try to live finally – instead of just surviving.

I love you and hope you’re all doing well and in the best of happiness, love, and peace. 💕🤗

💕Shel💕

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

Shel R.5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
View all responses

To answer today’s WP writing prompt question………………..

I want the words “It happens” – in memory of my oldest daughter – with Angel wings, the time of her birth and the time of her death.

I don’t want the dates on there because I don’t want to remember the date of her death.

I’d rather see the time she was born – that made me a mother, and the time of her death (the hour she got to meet God and felt peace).

“It happens” – represents the very last hilarious memory we had together.

*****

I was near Minneapolis the day before the “it happens” incident – for a dentist appointment and I stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

I live 4 hours from Minneapolis, so it was a long drive and I was starving.

I ended up leaving my debit card at Wendy’s, so when I called them – I was told that the manager has it in the safe, and if I brought my I.D. in the next day, he’d hand it over. I needed my debit card the next day, so early in the morning – I’m talking (5 AM) early – I got ready to drive all that way to go get my card.

My Tiffie “Jordan” found out and asked if she could come with me. She lived across the hall at the time, and I told her to be ready.

She loved long car rides, and she was ready before I was.

My youngest daughter rode with us as well.

On the way back, we were all so tired from waking up earlier that morning, so we were quiet driving home.

My oldest was in the passenger seat and she randomly said, “The Tile shop” – as she was looking out of the window.

I looked over, saw the Tile shop, and replied, “It happens!”.

I have no idea why I said that, but I was so tired – it just came out for no reason.

My daughter was so confused, looked over at me and says, “Wwwwhaaattt? Why would you say that? That didn’t require a response”. 🤣 We all started laughing so hard. Literally, we had tears in our eyes because we couldn’t stop laughing.

She kept mocking me and saying, “It happens!”, and then said “The tile shop. It happens!” – joking that it could be their new motto / jingle. She said “it happens” made no sense, and we just kept laughing. Eventually, she had to tell me to stop because I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t drive straight, but that’s what made that moment even more hilarious.

I’m sitting here laughing right now – not able to drink my coffee because I still recall how much we were laughing – at that moment.

It went on for at least 10 minutes, and when we stopped – one of us would say it again, “The tile shop. It happens!”, and we’d all start laughing again.

We decided at that moment – that as soon as my youngest daughter turned 18, we’d each go get matching “It happens” tattoos.

I don’t know if my youngest daughter still wants to do that or not, and Tiffie “Jordan” has passed on – but it’s a tattoo that I plan to get for myself – because it’s a reminder not only of our last hilarious memory with my oldest that day – but – of the fact that life happens, and doesn’t stop or slow down for anyone – even in grief.

And now – I’m crying as I write this part.

For me, “It happens” – is both a great memory months before she passed, and a reminder that there’s things in life I can’t control, and I just have to shrug my shoulders, say “It happens” and trust God to take care of those things. “It happens” can be both – a funny memory and a sad reminder that things do happen and life has to go on.

So, for me – I want the tattoo – as a reminder of both meanings.

My next tattoo:

Again – with the time of her birth and the time of her death.

💕

I also want to eventually get a memorial tattoo a little more meaningful, but I haven’t figured that out yet.

I have different ideas.

As for where I’d put it, still not sure of that, either – but it’s happening. It happens. ha.

*****

Anyway, let me share some updates.

The landlord finally sold the building.

He had new roofs put on last week, and the lady who helps him with the property and I – were kind of talking and I realized that he probably accepted an offer, and one of the conditions of the purchase – was that he put new roofs on the garage and building.

I would have asked for those garages to be torn down and rebuilt if I were buying this place, but either way – I’m hoping the new people are good. I’m hoping they’re not a “put a band-aid on it and call it a day” people – like our landlord was.

Everyone got notices on their doors yesterday – stating that as of today – we have new owners.

It said they have to honor all leases until leases end, and that they will be reaching out to introduce themselves. Not sure if it’s in email, person or by phone. It also said they will let everyone know how to pay April rent, and I’m hoping we can pay online, because I was so tired of using VENMO or money orders to send rent to our last landlord.

Still, even if I move soon – I’m happy the people living here – have new owners for the building because while I don’t think our last landlord was a bad guy, I do think he wasn’t the best landlord.

The bunny:

My daughter’s bunny stinks!

Really bad.

I kept telling her to clean the cage, because I thought it was the bedding or that she wasn’t changing it, and she kept telling me she cleans his cage out all the time.

We went back and forth for weeks on it, and I kept buying her different bedding to see which one worked best for the smell, and no matter how many times she changed the bedding or cleaned the cage and scrubbed it down – I’d go in her room, and it smelled like hell in there, and I still thought it was the cage.

She insisted it was the bunny. I told her there’s no way the bunny smells like that.

So, I gave in and took the bunny to the vet last week, and upon getting close to the small transport cage he was in, I smelled the bunny. The smell was coming from the bunny. I just looked at my daughter and yelled, “OH MY GOD!”. She said, “See! I told you it was him!”.

The vet did a full exam and some lab work, and the lab work looked good, so when she came back into the room to talk to us, she said the problem was simple.

She told my daughter to cover her ears (joking around of course!).

The vet looked at me and told me, “The bunny is horny!”.

I looked at her like:

And laughed.

“You’re joking, right?” – I said.

She said this is common and when male bunnies get horny and want some – they don’t wash themselves like they should or like they’re supposed to be.

They stop taking care of themselves because the smellier the bunny – the more they attract female bunnies.

She then adds to it and tells me that he’ll hump whatever he can in his cage and when he ejaculates – it sticks to his fur in the back and his testicles. 🙄 That in return – is making parts of his bedding stick to his testicles because he’s all sticky and nasty, and because he’s not cleaning himself because he wants to attract a female bunny – that’s all coming together and creating that awful smell on him.

I rolled my eyes, and asked what could be done.

She said it’s easily fixable in BUCKS. I didn’t even know they call male bunnies – BUCKS.

I thought that was just for male deer.

Them not cleaning themselves and making themselves smell like that – asserts maturity and dominance according to the vet, and in the wild – will attract a female bunny.

Maybe I should have done more research before walking into a pet store and thinking a bunny would be adorable for my daughter after she lost her bird a few years back.

So now – this bunny is maturing, and he’s horny – which is causing all these other issues and the smell.

He’s nasty and unsanitary! That’s what he is. He’s doing it for attention from a female bunny as I said, and he doesn’t realize his dumbass is an inside bunny and there’s no female bunnies around. Nor – will there ever be! Sorry for ya – Looney! Dammit, Looney! Yes, that’s his name.

My daughter thinks this is hilarious.

I ($600 later) do not!

So, the plan? To get the $600 together to have his testicles removed, remove all the sticky parts of his bottom from him ejaculating on himself and getting his bedding stuck to it as well – which obviously requires surgery and him to be put under – so he doesn’t try to get away and hurt himself during surgery.

His ears need to be cleaned also. Again, he’s not cleaning himself like he should be – for the simple and stupid fact that he doesn’t understand he’s an indoor bunny.

Some people I’ve told this story to – laugh so much when I tell it – and they suggested I get a female bunny because it would be cheaper than surgery for our male bunny. No thanks!

A female bunny for our male bunny = a bunch of baby bunnies I don’t need or want.

I swear – my life is never boring.

If it’s not something with the kids – it’s one of the animals. If it’s not the kids or the animals – a bill pops up to surprise me or something at work is going on that I have to deal with. If it’s not any of that – my car comes up with a new issue.

Life needs to slow the hell down and let me just sit and breath for a minute!

But it doesn’t stop there.

Want to talk about my car?! Let’s do that!

So, if you remember and you read my blogs pretty regularly – (Thank you first of all) – 2nd – you’ll know my car has been giving me problems.

The EPC and check engine light have been on in the last few months.

The RPM needle goes crazy sometimes and bounces around on its own.

This causes my engine to shake like crazy and my car to make this loud, awful noise.

My car feels like it wants to shut off or take off – either one – by itself. It feels like it wants to accelerate on its own sometimes.

When I’m parked and the car is on – it rattles and sometimes – it feels weird driving when I step on the gas.

Now, I like to support small businesses, and if a small business is amazing and gives great customer service, I’ll promote them everywhere and anywhere for free. I’ll tell the world about them – to help them grow their business.

However, if customer service is awful, and they do nothing to fix the issue or make it right – I’m also going to let people know that they should go elsewhere.

Now, everyone has different experiences with different places, so I can only tell what happened to me and it’s their choice to go try the business out or take my advice and go elsewhere.

Anyway – I’ll call this guy “Mario”, although – I should put him on blast, but that’s not the kind of person I am.

I took my car to Mario’s shop months ago and explained the issues. He saw the issues for himself when he got in my car, looked under my hood and saw / heard everything that was going on.

“It’s an easy fix. It’s the Spark plug! You have a bad one!”. Mario told me.

“Great! Let’s get that ordered and taken care of!”. I told Mario.

I was grateful it wasn’t anything big (Or – so I thought!).

He changed the Spark plug the same day, and I left.

$100 later – and my car was good for a day and then started doing the same exact things all over again and I realized Mario was wrong. So, I took the car back, told him it wasn’t a Spark plug, and he acted confused, but told me if I give him a few hours with my car to do a “deep dive” – he’d figure it out.

A few weeks later, Mario checked it out and told me, “You need a new Timing chain”. He said something about the Timing chain being bad, and half of it sliding down 3 teeth on Cam shaft bank 1 – or whatever the hell he said. Something like that. lol. I didn’t listen fully, but he also said the other Spark plugs and a sensor also need to be changed.

I asked if that would fix these issues and he said – in his heavy accent, “Yes, yes!”.

Fine. Let’s get those parts ordered and get this all done.

A few months ago – back in January I believe it was – my car was in the shop, and everything was being replaced. His wife was nice enough to drive me home and then pick me up to go back and get my car when it was done – many hours later.

I took it home, drove it and thanked them so much – because it drove beautifully – FOR THAT DAY.

The next day – I went to pick up the kids from school, and my car stated, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. It smelled highly of gas, and I called Mario and let him know. He came right over because his shop is right down the block.

When he looked under the hood – he giggled a bit and told me, “Your fuel pump just went…………..” (and he made the exploding noise with his mouth). Excuse me? Why are you laughing first of all? 2nd – my fuel pump was just fine before you worked on my car.

I didn’t tell him that because I didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but he says, “maybe you need a new fuel pump, but maybe not. Maybe you have a fuel leak, but maybe not”. I do or don’t to all of your “maybe’s” sir. Figure it out! So, he reconnected it and said it should be okay. It’s been okay for now, but who knows if it’s messing up or not. My car was able to be driven that day, but it’s still doing the same exact issues it was doing when it originally went to this guy.

The Spark plug didn’t fix it.

The Timing chain replacement, other Spark plugs being changed and the sensor didn’t fix it. It was back to doing the same things.

I took it back to him again. It also started doing this thing where it jerks forward when I try to drive.

I told him all of that and how none of the things he’s done, has fixed the issues.

The 4th time I took it back to him – he said something just needed to be cleaned from under the hood, so he did that. It drove fine that day.

Still back to the same problems the next day.

I almost feel like he’s just resetting stuff in my car to make it drive okay for a bit and hope it stops the issues.

The 5th time I had it back to him – he says, “Um, maybe a mouse got into your engine area and chewed some wires. Maybe not”.

What is with him and all these maybes? I was getting annoyed, and told him that he keeps guessing what’s wrong, and still not fixing the original problem. He asked me to bring the car back again – and he looked at it a 6th time.

This time, he said that day:

“Okay. I know now! It’s a valve. The valve is stuck”. I asked if he was absolutely positive because a real mechanic would have figured it out the first time, instead of changing all these other parts that I don’t even know if I really needed or not. He guaranteed me it’s the valve.

I argued that he guaranteed me it was all the other parts he changed as well.

He stood there in front of me GOOGLING the problems and looked up – as he said, “What could it be?”.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

So, I yelled at him. I felt bad, but I was so angry and bothered that he was googling what it could be – and he was pretty much admitting he didn’t know, so I paid for those other parts for nothing. He was guessing what it was, and the original problem was still going on. Here I was for the 6th time in his shop – and he didn’t know what it was.

He asked me for another day with my car, so he can check it out again and he had the nerve to tell me that it may get “costly”. NO! NO! HELL NO! I am not letting you touch my car again, and that’s what I told him when I was in there for the 6th time.

I let him know I wanted my money back, so I could go to a shop who knows what they’re doing.

A few days before that, I took it to another shop for a 2nd opinion, and I was told that the Timing chain is 3 teeth down and the same thing about the cam shaft that this guy said, and they said if it was changed, it was put on wrong.

Now, I’m left wondering if I paid for a Timing chain that was never changed.

So, I told him about that and what the 2nd shop said. I told him that they said I don’t need a valve like he said. I need the Timing chain done right, and I need a new harness, and this guy – MARIO – never mentioned a new harness, which leads me to believe he has no clue what he’s doing, and he collects money for his guesses – and possibly – for work he never does.

So, yes – I yelled at him.

Not loud, but I raised my voice a bit, and he told me he can’t give my money back because he did the work. I told him that he got paid to fix the issues and he did not!

He looked at the ceiling, laughed and walked to the back.

I kind of giggled thinking, “This man is about to go cut my brake lines for yelling at him!”.

I have been so patient and so kind with him, and I’ve let him have my car – trusting him more than I should have – to fix the original problems, and he didn’t. He couldn’t.

I read a review on his site where some other woman came in, and she was angry as well because half her new parts she had put in before going to him – were all changed to old parts, and he supposedly took her new parts out – and she too – said he was replacing things that there was nothing wrong with, and a few other things.

She warned people about going to him. She said he and his wife seem like good, sweet people – but she thinks they’re running a scam.

So, my car won’t be going back to him, and now it’s a game of figuring out the best shop to get it fixed and how much it’s going to cost for the real issues to be taken care of. I have always thought it was something with the throttle body because I don’t know too much about cars – but I know a little bit here and there amd it seemed like it.

I have a friend in IL. who asked me what was going on with and when I described the issues – he said it sounds like the throttle body accelerator pedal and maybe an engine sensor.

I was just in IL. not too long ago, and part of me really wishes I would have thought about him and taken my car to him. He’s a mechanic, and he’s really good at his job, but – I didn’t think about it until he messaged me asking what’s going on, and I was already back in Minnesota.

He did ask me to go somewhere to have the codes pulled up, and to let him know, and I plan to do that this weekend.

I was happy he mentioned the throttle body because that was my first thought as well.

I should have totally been a mechanic. ha.

So, besides the bunny needing this surgery, so he’s not horny and doesn’t smell anymore – and so he hopefully starts cleaning himself – and these car issues I’m still having – there’s also moving.

My plan was to find somewhere to move to by the beginning or middle of May, so that when my daughter graduates – we have a moving truck in the parking lot, and the moment we come out of that school after graduation – we’re in the car heading to our new place close to – or in – IL. However, it’s so damn tough trying to find a place when you have to travel hours to go look at the places.

So, I plan to get a list of places together by April 20th maybe, and start planning a trip out that way to go look – hoping that my car is fixed by then.

The bunny. The car. Moving. Finding a job out in Wisconsin or IL. wherever we move – it’s all so stressful, and my sanity – is still intact. GO ME! lol.

While I sit here and sip my coffee and think of everything I have on my plate and all the stress that’s upon me right now – I do have to smile and let you know how proud I am of my daughter.

She only needs two more credits to graduate.

One is for her elective class (Teacher’s assistant). She’s been a TA in my son’s room for the last few months and she loves it. She will be done with her credit in her elective – this semester, which means if she decides she doesn’t want to be a TA next semester, she can drop that from her schedule, since she’ll have that one credit she needs.

She needed all 4 semesters of her last English class, so she still has to go for that this semester and next, and after next semester is over, she’ll have her last credit she needs. 🤗

That means – that after this semester is over and she receives her last credit for her (TA) elective class – she only needs her English class.

That means – if she wanted to right now – she could drop all her other classes, and only do TA and English every day, and go to school for those two hours.

That means – once her elective class is over – she only needs English next semester and would only have one class – and can go to school 50 minutes a day and that’s it.

This girl – is taking all these other classes and going to school all day long – for fun.

To see her friends.

To have something to do – as she said.

She doesn’t have to go to school until 11 AM – which would be her TA class, and then her English, and she can come home. However, she actually enjoys going to school – even when she doesn’t need to be there and even when she’s taking these other classes – when she doesn’t have to.

I am so damn proud of her.

She is also now taking a course that OSHA offers – for anyone looking to further their education and have some safety training in their future career. Kailani wants to be an EMT, so she’s taking their class for that.

This girl has been amazing and has worked her ass off to get where she is right now, and she deserves the world. So, I think I mentioned this before – but instead of buying myself Cardi B. tickets when she was in Minnesota for a concert – I brought Kailani Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets to surprise her with – as an early graduation gift.

She wants to go see them so bad, and I’m more than happy to make that happen for her.

I got the tickets already if I didn’t mention that before, and if so – my bad.

She earned it.

💕

Still, I hope we live in IL. or close to it at the time of the concert because it’s at the end of May, and I don’t want to have to worry about getting a hotel room for the night. I just want to go home and relax – unpack – and hear all about how she enjoyed her night – the night of the concert.

Loves.

Pray that everything works out for us, because life is kicking my ass right now, and it’s just me alone doing everything for the kids – the animals – and nothing for myself.

I’m exhausted. I’m drained, but I still feel blessed and have faith.

💕Shel💕

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Shel R.4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
View all responses

Answering today’s WP writing prompt, let me say that I giggled a bit when I read this question.

When I was much younger, blonde and a little thinner – I was in line one day at a Jewel – Osco in Chicago.

Damn, I miss those stores!

I was waiting in line for the girl to ring up all of my items and I was about to pay, when I turned to look behind me and some guy was looking at me. I felt weird, but I looked back again and he was still looking. I smiled politely, and I tried not to look at him a 3rd time.

One of the items I had – was on sale, so the cashier asked if I could give her just a second to run and see if she could find a sale code – to put it in the register for me. I thanked her and told her I’d wait. As I did, the guy behind me who kept looking at me – finally broke his silence.

He says, “Excuse me! Please forgive me for this, but has anyone ever told you that you look just like Shakira?”.

I smiled – because that’s one hell of an amazing compliment, and I told him No. Nobody has ever told me that, but I also thanked him for that.

It made me feel good.

He says, “So, stupid question. You’re not her, then? I was about to ask for a photo and an autograph”. He nervously laughed. I laughed with him and told him I could still be famous one day, but not that day. He told me how pretty I was, and I thanked him again and carried on with my day – smiling the whole way through it. 😁

For the record – I have never thought I looked like Shakira, but it was nice to hear.

She’s crazy beautiful, and I’m – cute, I guess. lol.

I will also say that was a long time ago, and – did I mention that I was much younger? I did. Okay.

Nobody would or could say that to me now. haha.

Shakira – in case you have no clue who she is.

And below – is me – way back in my younger, skinnier, blondie years.

I’ve also been told back then – that I looked like Amanda Bynes.

The way she looked back then – not now.

(Photo taken from Newsweek).

I never thought I looked like her, either, but again – it was nice to hear.

That poor Amanda these days, my heart breaks for her. She was gorgeous back then.

I think that hearing people thought I looked like both of them back in my younger days – was the biggest and best compliments I’ve ever received.

Another me (young, blonde and skinnier) photo – below:

And another….

(By the way, K.C.) – was an old nickname.

In Hawaii – my name is Kila. Pronounced – (Kee-La). C is for my middle name. So, some used to call me K.C.

Do I see any resemblance?

No – but it’s still the best compliments I’ve ever received. 💕

I miss my blonde hair. I miss being as skinny as I once was. I miss being young, dammit!

Anyway, I’m blessed to be here still for 43 – and this year – 44.

Every day the good Lord gives me – is a blessing.

That being said –

I worked my first overnight shift last night at the facility I work in.

It actually wasn’t bad.

During the night – different people would come out of their rooms for different things, or just to come down and chat, but I had no major issues and everyone behaved.

I came home so tired this morning, got my kids ready for school, took them, came back and showered – got ready for another day, and went right back to work.

One of our lead staff was demoted, so I asked my boss if I could take over her position and get promoted. My boss seemed so happy I asked and said she thinks I’d be a wonderful person to take over and that I’d be good for the job.

It comes with higher pay, benefits, more vacation days and other perks, but the only downside – is that my phone would be blowing up. I’d be a supervisor, so I’d be the one my co-workers would then call or send texts to if there’s trouble, if they need help or advice, if they can’t come in and I have to cover their shifts, if there’s any time off requests needed, time adjustments, and so on.

It’s a lot of responsibilities and while I don’t mind – the deal breaker – was me having to work 80 hours per paycheck mandatory – still do my weekends as I’m always on now, and then – BE ON CALL 24/7.

I would basically have no life. No time for myself or my kids. No time to do anything fun because I’d always be at work, dealing with things at work, covering shifts, or just handling calls and texts all day. If there’s an emergency where cops or medics have to come in, I’m dealing with that or going to the job site – no matter what time it is – to figure things out.

I’d be in charge of interviewing and hiring as well. I’d be in charge of deciding who needs to be fired.

I don’t want that hanging over my head.

I was so excited to go meet with my boss today and talk about taking the position – as we sat in the office that would be mine. That’s another thing that I loved. I’d get my own office and can decorate it however I want to.

Still – the thought of working SEVEN days a week and then being on call 24/7 on top of that – isn’t appealing to me. So, there are absolutely some downsides to the position as well.

I could give up my weekends if I wanted to and just do the 5 days a week, but then it also clashes with my kid’s school schedules – not to mention we’re probably moving soon if all goes well as I said before, so I’d feel bad taking the job, and leaving my boss high and dry to find someone totally new and train them in – once I leave.

So, as much as I was excited for a higher position, more pay and benefits, etc. I decided to pass on it.

My boss told me to take some paperwork home, read it over and think about it, but she was honest with me and told me if I didn’t jump on it and take it today, she’d have to keep interviewing for it, and I told her I totally understood. I let her know my concerns with the position, and that if I didn’t take it, I’d still be there for my shifts that I have now, I’d still do my job correctly, and I trust her to hire the best person for the job – who may be okay with all that extra stuff it comes with.

I may be stupid for passing it up because it’s a great opportunity but being a mother as well – I just don’t want to spend my life at work all the time. I enjoy spending time at home and with my kids as well. So, I feel like this position is something for those who have that time to be at work and be on call and go in whenever they are needed.

I am so grateful she thought of me, and that she thought so highly of me to want to give me this position.

She made me smile today when she told me that she watches me with everyone there and that even when I’ve had a bad day, or people are out of control and drunk there – acting stupid – she sees me smiling, joking with them, and handling every situation with love, compassion and grace and that’s what she’s looking for in a Supervisor. 💕

Hell, I’ve written about that lady “Daisy” that I’ve gotten so close to there.

The one who wreaks havoc and gives the place hell when she’s drunk – and how many problems we’ve all had with her. Well, this past week – one of our other lead staff walked up to me and tells me, “You’ve got a – way with Daisy”. She meant that I seem to be able to handle her little bad attitudes and her drunk rampages, and wild behavior, and that I can calm her down, or get her to listen to me.

I smiled and told this other lead staff that there are many times I can easily handle Daisy because I take no shit – and she’s not going to walk all over me when I’m there. I told her that there are many times when yes – Daisy will calm down and listen to me, but I’ve had my fair share of Daisy telling me to get the f*** out of her face, or her telling me to leave her the f*** alone, so it just depends.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

With the clients we work with that live in the facility – it’s all about gaining their trust, getting to know what works with each person individually and what doesn’t – especially if they’re on something or drunk, and knowing how to handle them. I’ve learned their personalities, and I match their personalities with my own – depending on the situations and that’s how I stay calm and handle things.

I would have loved that Supervisor position, and I also think I would have been great at it.

My co-workers would have known that they could message me or come to me for anything, and I’m always going to have their backs, but again – it’s just the schedule and the times – being on call all the time – and the fact that I would feel like I’m living at work – instead of putting time into my family – that made me decide the Supervisor position isn’t for me.

Decisions suck, and it’s hard when you really want something, but it doesn’t align with everything else you have going on in life, and family time.

I’ll still be at the same job, and if we move – it may only be for another month or so, but at least I know that my boss saw so many amazing things in me – that she tried to get me to take the Supervisor position, and I hope a future boss sees it as well.

If you want to laugh a bit with me – My little-itty-bitty – trouble-making Daisy – went to jail.

I’m not laughing that she’s in there. I miss her causing trouble around the place and it’s been boring since she’s been out of the building, but what did make me laugh – is that Monday when I worked – she was drunk and running her mouth to everyone, including my boss.

My boss gave her a lot of fair warnings to be quiet, be good and go back to her room, and she refused.

My boss threatened to call the cops for her disturbances, and Daisy still wouldn’t keep her mouth shut.

At one point, my boss walked away, and I begged Daisy to just go back to her room because my boss was really about to call the cops. My boss heard her yell, “I don’t give a f***! Call the cops. I don’t have any f***in’ warrants!”.

My boss sure the hell did call the cops, and I thought she was pretending at first when I sat next to her and she was talking to “the cops”, but when she got up and walked away – telling me to let her know when they were there, I realized she was so serious.

Daisy made me laugh when she saw the cops and all of a sudden – wanted to go back to her room.

They ended up coming in and trying to talk to her, but she got mouthy with them as well, and they weren’t having it. They already know her, so when the two of them stood on each side of her and grabbed her arms, they told her she’s under arrest and has warrants…..

I stood there wondering……………

DAISY!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to go visit her today, but you have to be on her approved list, and I can’t even get ahold of her to tell her to add me, but maybe tomorrow – I’ll see if I can figure it out.

My overnight shift last night was quiet, especially without Daisy there drunk – and I was up all night with different people coming out of their rooms to keep me busy or keep me company.

As soon as I got there, one of the young ladies asked me for a pregnancy test.

I can say a lot, but that’s not my place, and I just prayed she wasn’t pregnant because while I don’t judge anyone since none of us are perfect – she is not on the right path to have a baby. So, I handed her the test and told her to let me know, because if she was pregnant – I was still going to support her, do whatever I could for her and the baby, and just be someone she could come to if she needed someone to be there.

When she came downstairs at 5 AM this morning with her boyfriend – who also lives there – she held up the test and told me it was negative.

I asked if she was happy with that, and she said yes. So, I let her know I was happy as well.

I told her boyfriend to walk over to the FREE CONDOMS box we have at one of the desks – and grab a couple. I told him to start making it a habit to grab free condoms anytime he’s down there.

When he walked over to the tissue box and grabbed tissues, his girlfriend laughed so hard and asked what he planned to do with those. I joked and told him, “Hey! That works, too! No sex is one way to prevent pregnancy. Do you instead!”. I had them both laughing so much, and he thought for some reason – I told him to grab tissue.

THE TWO DON’T EVEN SOUNDS THE SAME.

CONDOMS. TISSUE. What?!!!!!!!

He stood there looking confused, and his girlfriend and I – couldn’t stop laughing.

I asked her if she was sure this is who she would want as her son or daughters’ father, and she laughed even harder. I went as far as to ask her boyfriend what “2 + 2” is, and when he stood there thinking about it – I was done. I lost it and laughed.

I volunteered to allow him to take the entire box of condoms upstairs. 🤣

This is why I love my job though.

I know I can be tough and firm when fights break out, or someone is beyond drunk and acting goofy, but I also know that I can be myself, joke around and have some good laughs with the people who live there.

Coffee was also my best friend last night – because I haven’t worked any overnight shifts – since I worked in the assisted living down the block a few years ago.

I came home after meeting with my boss – and I knocked out for a few hours.

I laugh because last night at 2 AM, I looked at the clock and realized if I were back in my 20’s – backyard parties would still be going, and I’d be hanging with many friends dancing, laughing, having a great time and now by 10 PM – I’m in bed, reading a book, writing (this is proof) – lol – or listening to music to try to fall asleep.

Still – like I said – I’m grateful for every day and every new year God allows me to see! 🤗

11 PM right now, and I’m going to bed.

I told you!

I shall catch up with all of you tomorrow morning.

Sending so much love and big hugs your way!

💕Shel💕

My first overnight shift at the facility and my weirdest / craziest relationship story.

My first overnight shift at the facility and my weirdest / craziest relationship story.

Shel R.Leave a comment

     “Yes! I’ll come in for you tonight!”.

Those were my words to my Co-worker when she messaged me earlier. She wasn’t feeling well, and asked if I could work for her. She asked if I wanted to trade shifts or if I would just go in – depending on if I needed to stay under a certain amount of hours or not.

I need all the hours I can get right now. So, I told her I’d just take her shift and no trade was needed.

I planned to sleep for a bit.

However – it’s snowing! It seems like it never stops snowing here in Minnesota, and I’m so over it.

We live in the middle of nowhere pretty much and when it gets dark, there’s no street lights to light up your way if you’re driving. That means – when it snows – and the roads are bad – it’s a guessing game of “Am I on the right side of the road?”.

I left our house 3 hours early.

I wanted to sit down and eat dinner with my kids, but I looked outside and the roads were already covered, so I knew if I didn’t leave before it got dark, I’d play that game I hate so much during this weather.

It usually takes me 30 minutes or so – to get to work, but I drove slow, so 45 to the city I work in – was more like it.

I’m currently sitting in a parking lot of a mall writing this. Work is now only 15 minutes away, and if it keeps snowing – at least my drive won’t be so bad because I’m already in the area.

Since I have hours to go before work…let me tell you a story.

I had to laugh earlier because a friend of mine and I – were talking about the weirdest relationships we’ve ever had. 🫩😁 I don’t even know how it came up, but since I have the time and I’m just sitting here before I drive a few blocks down to work – I’ll share mine.

We started talking about her ex-boyfriend and laughed about the weird parts of the times they were together, and then I told her about one of my ex’s – that I’ll call “Aaron”.

She asked what my weirdest / craziest relationship was.

Aaron and I were childhood best friends.

We had known each other since the age of 13, and we were always so close. Back then, he considered himself a “thug”. He considered himself a “gangster”, but back then – I was young and dumb and thought that that was cool.

Ya live and learn, right! 🧐

So, Aaron and I hung out all of the time when he wasn’t with his friends, and when he was doing illegal stuff – he always told me not to come by, or to go home and he’d call me later.

It seemed like he cared about me enough to look out for me, and I loved him for that – as my male best friend. Anytime we were together, he made me laugh a lot and he was always making sure those around us whenever we hung out – respected me.

Aaron made it clear he’d never let anything happen to me.

Still, Aaron was who he was, and I knew it was probably not the best idea to hang out with him as much as I did – because of who he was hanging out with and what he was doing in his life. How do you stop hanging out with someone you have so much fun with though? Someone who supports you and your dreams in life? Who wants the best for you and makes you forget everything when you’re with them?

Again, this guy was my male best friend and we grew up together. However… when I was 18, I had my first child and got married.

Aaron had tried to be with me (in a relationship) all of our teenage years, and I just didn’t see him “in that way”. I wasn’t attracted to Aaron, but I still loved him as one of my close best friends.

He was a really good guy with a big heart for me, but after I had my oldest child and got married, we lost contact. Aaron was upset about me finding someone to spend my life with, and having a kid with someone else – when he wanted it to be (us) all those years.

He used to joke about us getting married and having kids some day, but I finally realized it wasn’t a joke. He was serious and I knew he liked me when we were teenagers, but I didn’t know how serious it was until I got married, had a kid and he stopped talking to me.

Years and years went by, and we didn’t speak.

In 2013, my now ex husband and I – divorced.

I don’t blame either of us. I think we were married young, had kids young, and now that we grew older – we just wanted different things in life and we parted ways as friends.

I posted something on Facebook about the divorce and wishing my ex husband well in life, praying that we both find our happiness, and suddenly – I received a message from Aaron. How long has he been watching my posts or did someone in our friend group tell him I was divorced now? …… Those were my questions. We had a few of the same friends, still.

I was happy to hear from him, and we talked a lot after that first message. We could spend hours on the phone – laughing and talking like no time had passed at all – when in reality – we had years of catching up to do.

He told me about the relationships he’s been in, about his job, the kids he has now, and what he’s been doing in life. I told him the same about me. My divorce. My job. My dreams and goals. My kids, and many other things that we talked about.

He admitted he was upset when I got married and had a kid, but said he never lost feelings for me. He said I didn’t know it – but he checked on me often through friends, or looking at my Social media. It made me smile, but my feelings hadn’t changed and I still didn’t feel the same way he did, so I felt bad.

Still, it was nice having my male best friend back in my life.

He asked if I wanted to meet up and go see a movie and he promised it would be as friends. So, I went.

We went to see a movie, went to get ice cream and just sat in a park and talked for hours. As the days and weeks went by, we hung out more and more and this time – we were adults.

We were both in our early 30’s.

Eventually, we hung out so much, that I decided to try to date Aaron. I thought that my feelings for him could grow – even if they weren’t there romantically at that time. We became a couple and I did my best to give him a fair chance.

We had a lot of good times for the 6 months we were together, and yes – that’s all it was.

One of the few times I still cherish – is when we were at his cousin’s house. We had just gotten there, it was the middle of winter and I had my leather jacket on. When I took it off – I had a tight fuzzy white sweater under it, and black tight pants. He looked me up and down and just said, “Damn! Wow! Damn. That’s all mine!”. ❤️

When his cousin said something about stealing me and not giving me back, Aaron made me laugh when he got back up and said we were leaving, and to put my jacket back on.  (Yes, he was joking!). We had a great time that night and it was one of my favorite memories as we hung out with his cousin and his cousin’s girlfriend – who showed up a few hours later.

Another time I still cherish – is when he lost a close friend of his that he’s known as long as he’s known me. That loss really broke him and he was at his sister’s house for a week – and wouldn’t leave because he was just so depressed and needed someone to be around him – so he wouldn’t think about this friend he lost that much.

His sister was the one who called me and told me I needed to come see her brother because he was in this deep depression and needed something to pick him up. I told her I’d be there, but she didn’t tell him.  As soon as I walked down the stairs to the basement where he was hanging out, his eyes lit up, he smiled so big and he gave me the biggest hug.

Aaron and I – were always there for each other when we needed it the most. As best friends and as a couple when we were together.

Although we had a lot of good times and funny laughs, I slowly noticed that Aaron was still the same guy he was – when we were teenagers, and that life didn’t appeal to me anymore. What I once thought was cool and fun – (his lifestyle and the way he considered himself a thug or gangster) – wasn’t cool or fun anymore.

Being adults now – I thought he changed. I thought his mentality changed, and that he had dreams and goals like I did, but he didn’t.

He was working a part-time job with very little education, and I tried so hard to get him to get a full-time job and do something with his future. To plan something better for himself – rather than still being 30-something and calling himself a thug / gangster.

We weren’t teens anymore and it was no longer cute or acceptable. When I started to realize he still had the same mentality – it was when he kept talking about having enemies and “being from the hood” or “being hood”. A few months into the relationship, I realized this probably wasn’t going to last, and that even though he had met my kids already because he was my childhood male best friend and I trusted him – I knew after I heard him talk about still enjoying that lifestyle – I couldn’t bring my kids around him anymore.

I knew I didn’t want to be involved in that lifestyle and I also knew that I had goals and dreams and he wasn’t even thinking about his future or making it better.

He was happy working his part-time job and being in the streets doing whatever he was doing when he wasn’t at work, or with me.

I wanted to go to college for Criminal justice and make something of my life, and we were totally different and had totally different mentalities when it came to things like that.

Other things started to bother me as well.

He was obsessed with the Illuminati, and who was in it. He used to talk about the Illuminati non-stop and that’s just something I never cared about, but I listened when he talked about it – because he was interested in it and I’m sure that half the things I was into or talked about – he listened because it was me and he just enjoyed hearing me out.

However, every single conversation we had – that had absolutely nothing to do about the Illuminati – ended up leading to a conversation about the Illuminati or the government somehow. Someway. He was also obsessed with the government and watching what they were doing or telling me what he thought they were trying to do.

I found that a little weird or wild.

I had once told him I just tried a new Deli that day for lunch and the sandwiches there were amazing. I told him we’d have to go one day, and he told me I had to be careful with new foods I try because the government puts things in certain foods to kill off half of the population – since earth is getting too crowded.

I looked at him that night like:

WHAT?????

“What the hell are you talking about?”

I remember asking him if we can ever just have a normal conversation that doesn’t lead to anything about the Illuminati or government and what he thinks they’re doing to food, or to our minds, etc.

That turned into an argument because he felt like I didn’t believe him about what was going on in the world. 👀🙄

Things got really weird with him, and then he started getting super jealous over every little thing.

Sometimes, I’d go to his place and wait for him to get off work. I had a key to his place, but there were times the weather was super nice and I’d sit outside with the owner of the building he lived in, and some of the other females who lived in the building – that I had gotten to know.

Aaron would come home, see me outside and accuse me of wanting their boyfriends or husbands to see me, or other guys passing by – to see me and talk to me, but whenever he came home – I’d only ever be talking to the women I knew there.

I remember one time when Aaron made a comment about me being outside and one of the older women told him, “Leave that baby alone! All she does is sit here, talk to us, and wait for you or she’s inside cooking for you – for when you get home! That baby ain’t over here talking to nobody’s boyfriend, husband or any other man. Stop accusing her of all that nonsense!”.

One day, he told me I shouldn’t be outside – unless it’s with him. I just laughed and told him if he wanted to control something – buy a puppy because he wasn’t controlling me.

That led to an argument.

I had never seen or experienced Aaron act that way – in all the many years I knew him, so it was all weird to me.

You know that song by Justin Bieber that goes, “My mama don’t like you, and she likes everyone?”.

I brought him home to meet my parents one time and my dad just looked at me and shook his head. My mom was disappointed and while she was very polite to him, I knew she didn’t like him, and she did like everyone. My mom was the sweetest woman, and you had to do something really bad – for her not to like you, so when I knew she didn’t like Aaron the first time she met him, I also couldn’t question why.

She could tell just by looking at him – what he was into and the lifestyle he led.

We had a fight that night as well because he wanted to wear a hoodie, a bandana hanging out of his back pocket, baggy pants and a hat to meet my parents and when I asked him to change – he accused me of not loving him for who he is.

Eventually, I knew I had to tell Aaron it wasn’t going to work out. The feelings I thought would grow for him – weren’t. I wasn’t interested in his lifestyle or that mentality he still had in his 30’s – that was the same as when we were teens. He had no motivation or plans for his life, and our conversations were more about his fears, thoughts and opinions on the Illuminati and government – even when I tried to bring up other subjects.

Again, I think the biggest deal breaker – was knowing I didn’t feel comfortable bringing my kids around him an

One day – after 6 months together – he asked me to change my relationship status on Facebook – from “In a relationship” – to “Engaged”. I told him I wasn’t going to do that because we weren’t engaged, and people were going to want to see a ring or want to know how he proposed.

That was yet – another argument.

He accused me of not wanting other guys to think we were serious.

We ended up going to see a movie that night after our argument and I told him we had to talk when we got back to his place later. He just wanted to go enjoy a movie and avoid talking for that moment, so we went.

We ended up walking around the mall because the movie theater was upstairs and we had an hour to kill after we got our tickets.

As we were headed back upstairs an hour later, he pulled me into a “Kay’s” jewelry store.

🎵 Every kiss begins with Kay 🎵

Yep. That one. lol

He said there were always previews before a movie starts, so he wanted to just have fun. He asked me, “If you had to pick out an engagement ring today, which one would you want?”. I was confused, but I also knew that I wanted to get married again someday – (just not to him). So, I decided to play his little game and just have fun and try on engagement rings.

He had a part-time job and he was paying his rent and bills, so I figured there was no way he could even afford an engagement ring, which made me feel confident that he just had the thought of proposing in his head and I’d talk to him later about just being friends.

I tried on a few different rings and finally held my hand out when I found the perfect one that shined so pretty when I held it up. I love the square kind, and I found the one I’d love – if – I was IN LOVE and wanted to get married, but I wasn’t in love. So, I told Aaron that would be the one I want – if I had to pick, and I handed the ring back to the jewelry guy – thanking him for letting me try on a few.

I then told Aaron we had to head upstairs to the movie before we missed the beginning, and I started to walk out of the jewelry store.

When I heard him say, “We’ll take it!”, my heart dropped. I asked what he was doing. I asked where he got the money. He didn’t answer me. I told him not to do this, and he did. He paid the thousands in cash, and I didn’t even want to know how he was able to drop that much all at one time.

He didn’t even get down on one knee or propose in any romantic way. He slid it on my finger and told me, “There! Now we’re engaged and you can change your Facebook status”.

No! That’s not how it works!

I didn’t make a big fuss about that moment at that time because I didn’t want to argue with him in a mall full of people, but as soon as we got back to his place…. we got into an argument because he called me ungrateful, disrespectful and mean.

I didn’t seem happy about the ring – he said.

I made him look stupid in front of the jewelry guy because I didn’t get all excited and at least give him a hug – he said. 

He felt like I didn’t even want the ring, and truth be told – I didn’t. I told him to keep the receipt in case something happens (when we were still at the store).

So, at his place – I already knew I was ending things, and I asked him to sit down, so we could talk. He had been drinking that night and I explained to him how much I love him and care about him as one of my best male friends all these years. How much I’ve appreciated all the times he made me laugh, was there for me or looked out for me and he knew I had done the same for him – for years.

But….I told him our lives are on two totally different paths, and that it wasn’t going to work out for us. I said I would love to continue to be friends and I don’t regret trying to be more, but that there were so many fights over stupid things, and my goals and his didn’t match up.

I tried my hardest to let him know I’d always be there for him as a friend and I didn’t want our friendship to be over, but that I totally understand if he didn’t want to be friends anymore.

He asked if it was because he believes in the extraterrestrial and the government – poisoning us.

See how weird things got???

Still, I cared very much about Aaron, and maybe he could find a woman more like him.

That night, he asked for the ring back because he said I clearly didn’t care about it. I handed it back to him, and before I could stop him – he threw it down the toilet and flushed it. He told me that’s what I think about his gift.

The next morning – I went to go get some of my things that I left at his place and told him I’d be back in a week for the rest. He asked me where the ring was and he didn’t believe me when I told him he flushed it the night before – because he was drinking and didn’t remember the night before.

A few weeks earlier – I had saved a good amount of money from work and went shopping for new clothes and shoes for myself. I had everything packed into a bag and was ready to pick it up the following week, but the following week – Aaron kept making excuses for why I couldn’t come by and get it.

Turns out – he threw all my new clothes and shoes away, and he didn’t want to admit it. He felt bad. He said he was angry about the ring, so he wanted to feel like my money was wasted as well.

We didn’t talk for an entire two years after that, but I was surprised one day when he contacted me on Facebook, apologized for everything, understood why I ended things with him, and offered to pay me for the shoes and clothes he threw out that I purchased myself.

I felt bad about the ring incident, so I told him I didn’t want anything from him – that I was sorry if he felt like I wasted his time in any way, and that I will forever remember him as one of my best friends.

And …..that was that.

I never spoke to him again.

I still laugh when I say he’s one of the weirdest relationships I ever had, but I smile when I think about the friendship we had at one point – as well.

Wherever Aaron is today – I just hope he’s doing well, he’s happy and life is kind to him. 💚

SO, when this friend of mine today – told me about her weirdest / craziest relationship and I told her about Aaron – we had a good giggle, but we also both said we hope our previous boyfriends are doing okay.

   I wish for nothing but the best for them.

Also, I just hope Aaron realized he’s worth so much more than what he was doing with himself in life. I have met some of the sweetest gangsters and thugs – but it’s a scary life and sometimes – you should want more for yourself.

As for his addiction to the aliens, the government and Illuminati – I pray he finds a woman who loves the same theories, stories, research, etc. 😁

I’m sorry (but also not sorry) that I couldn’t be that one for him.

    Anyway……

With another hour to go before I have to head towards work – I’m going to sit here and watch Tiktoks.

My loves – pray I stay awake all night because I’m going to be so tired, and I have to rush home in the morning to get the kids to school, go home and shower and then meet up with my boss at 11 AM for a meeting. 😴

      Xoxo.

      ❤️Shel❤️

Hachi – and some funnies from work.

Hachi – and some funnies from work.

Shel R.1 Comment

Occasionally, I’ll watch a movie that will make me cry.

Tonight, when I came home from work – my daughter said she had a movie to show me.

We sat down after I made pizza, and she showed me:

While some movies make me cry a bit – this one had me straight up bawling my eyes out!

I was in tears!

It’s a true story about a dog who refused to give up, and it shows loyalty, lessons in loss and grief.

My heart broke so much in this movie, and it was such a great one.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I totally recommend checking it out, but be prepared and have some tissues handy. Oy. I’m still thinking about the movie, and to think that it’s a true story – breaks my heart even more. 💔

Anyway –

Let me move on to funnier and happier things because I’m a mess right now after watching this. lol.

I worked this weekend, and you all know Daisy, right?

If you follow along with my posts, you’ll know she’s this little itty-bitty-elderly woman that lives in the facility I work in. She is funny as hell when she’s sober, but when she’s been drinking – she’s a little firecracker, and she’s after everybody!

If you’re in the path of her little “attitude tornado” as I call it now – she’s going to get you!

Yesterday, she was beyond drunk, and it wasn’t even 9 AM yet – I hadn’t even had a full cup of coffee yet – and she was screaming from her side of the building – at another resident on the other side. She was running her mouth, trying to start problems, and going off on this other tenant / resident.

Thankfully – this other resident walked away and didn’t say anything to her.

A while later, Daisy was outside with a few other tenants / residents, and as I was chatting with another tenant / resident, I heard yelling outside. I threw my head back; rolled my eyes and already know it was Daisy yelling at someone else now. The lady she was yelling at – came inside to avoid problems, and I went outside – as Daisy continued to yell, because she was mad that she was in the other lady’s face, and the lady walked inside.

I went out there because we all know I match energies.

These aren’t kids. These are grown adults who get drunk and goofy, and don’t know how to act when they’ve been drinking, so when I got outside – I joked with Daisy and told her if she wants to fight with someone – stand up and fight me.

I was trying to lighten the mood.

She got tough and told me, “I’ll kick your ass!”.

Daisy loves me. I’m not worried about her.

I told her to stand up and let me see it.

I put my fist up.

She stood up and put hers up and almost slipped on ice under the bench she had been sitting on. I told her to sit her ass down before she slips and blames me for it. She wants to fight and can’t even stand up to do it. She joked that she was going to kick me, and I stepped back and told her she would have to reach me – to kick me, and she’s too short for that.

She went on a full rant about the lady who had just walked inside, about the director of the facility I work in, about so many other things that I just let her vent about – because with Daisy – that’s what you have to let her do when she’s been drinking. You just have to let her get it all out, and you know what?

I have learned that Daisy is angry, hurt, emotionally and mentally drained, heartbroken for many different reasons and things she’s been through in her life. Daisy cries a lot when I talk to her. When I really sit down and talk to her whenever she’s on her little rants – she pours her heart out to me.

That’s one of the reasons she loves me. I let her vent. I let her pour her heart out. I joke with her to make her laugh and calm her down. I take the time to hug her, and let her know I’m there for her, and she feels like some of the other staff – could care less and just want to see her leave. They don’t want to take the time to find out what’s going on in her mind or in her heart. They just see a little old troublemaker.

I’ve gotten close to Daisy, and she makes me laugh – even when she’s being a pain in my ass.

So, yesterday (Saturday) when I was working and she went off on a tenant / resident on the other side, and then another one outside and I broke up both of those arguments with other women she had issues with, I asked her to please just behave the rest of the day. She was intoxicated, and I already knew what kind of day it was about to be.

My son was working with me yesterday and at one point, I had just come into the office from doing something I needed to do, and he told me that Daisy promised him she was going back to her room, but she just got on the elevator. We knew what that meant, because she was then angry at this tenant / resident on the 2nd floor – for bringing in guests that Daisy says “messed with my family” – as she told me.

She wanted to go upstairs, knock on this other tenant’s door, and start trouble.

Daisy’s room is on the 1st floor, so we knew what was about to happen.

I grabbed my walkie – ran out of the office door and down the hall and jumped into the elevator right before the doors closed.

Imagine Daisy’s surprise when she had her head down, and I jumped in there and yelled, “Surprise!”. 😂

She turned and looked at me, rolled her eyes and her words were, “Oh, what the hell?”.

I asked where she was going.

She named a guy upstairs – that I knew damn well she wasn’t going to see because she knew damn well – that he left a few hours earlier. We both knew where she was headed, so I told her I’d come upstairs with her and she could pretend she was going to see the guy we both know left earlier that day, but we both know who she was really going upstairs to bother.

She started screaming at me and accusing me of protecting “that white woman!”.

Daisy is Native. I told her I protect all women, and I’d protect her as well if someone was messing with her. She just kept yelling and I kept joking around with her to calm her down.

We walked down the hall – right by the guy’s room where she claimed she was going, and as soon as we got in front of the door I knew she was really looking for, I blocked it. She tried to go around me and knock, and I just stood there, so she couldn’t. She asked if I wanted her to throw me down the stairs, and I giggled and told her, “You know…. that’s the 2nd time in the last few weeks you’ve threatened that and I’m still not scared!”.

We stood there for a bit while she tried to get me out of her way, and I tried different ways to get her to come back downstairs with me. We’ve played this game before and she knows I’m not going back downstairs without her, especially when I know why she’s upstairs and looking for someone.

She eventually came back downstairs with me, and sat in the lobby, crying about different things she’s feeling and telling me how much she loves and appreciates my son and I – because she feels like we’re the only staff – (other than two others) – who really give a damn about her. She said the others – don’t give a shit, and she feels that.

I gave her a hug, and she cried in my arms – and then I sent her back to her room and she actually went.

That wasn’t the end of her.

She came out a few more times yesterday to see what she could get into and start, but I handled it every time.

Today – she was better. She didn’t cause as many issues as she did yesterday, but she was still a bit tipsy and still her little firecracker self.

I had to laugh when she called down to the office at the end of my shift – as I was about to leave and said she heard I called her a “ho”. I started laughing because I knew she was trying to start something, but I also knew she was joking around. I told her I could never think that and that she’s too old to be out there even thinking about being a “ho”, so we both laughed. I laughed even more when she asked if I wanted her to teach me how to be a “ho”. I told her I’m too old to be out like that.

Her: No, you’re not! I can teach you!

I laughed even more when my son laughed and said, “She’s trying to be your pimp”.

I love her sense of humor and despite how many headaches she gives me when she misbehaves, and I have to chase her around the damn building to prevent fights with her and others – she’s one hell of a good woman and not a lot of people see that, realize it or try to understand where her anger and attitudes come from.

I have so much on my mind right now, and a hell of a lot on my plate that I’m trying to figure out, but any time I go to work – these people that live in this facility – make my days brighter, happier, and bring me so much joy.

The tenants / residents love me and my son, and we love them right back.

They know we’re going to do whatever we can for them.

They know we’re going to use humor and joke around to make them laugh or calm them down.

They know we’re firm and tough when we need to be, but we have big hearts and we’re also going to be there for them, love on them, and listen – if that’s what they need.

❤️

This morning – as soon as I walked in to work – I saw a ball fly by my feet.

One of the guys who live there – kicked it towards me. I kicked it back towards him, he kicked back – and we had a little game of mini-soccer (?) or kickball – whatever you want to call it. ha. I actually enjoyed it and I wasn’t even clocked in yet. 😊I didn’t need to be.

I love going to work, and this is why I enjoy going there – because it’s fun. It’s stressful sometimes, but there’s always something to smile or laugh about.

He’s on Oxygen though, so he made me laugh when the ball rolled under a desk, and he told me that I had to get it because if he got it, he wasn’t getting back up. He laughed. I laughed and I went to grab it, as he walked away and tried to catch his breath.

He’s one of the ones I always jokingly yell at because he’ll want his alcohol portion, but he won’t eat and he knows the rule is – he has to eat something first. So, during lunch today, he looked at the clock and told me, “I guess it’s time to feed the garbage can!”. He knew darn well he was about to throw his food away and at least he was honest about it.

There’s another female tenant / resident there – who will come down early in the mornings when I’m there, and she’ll just sit and have coffee with me. We’ll just chat about anything and everything going on in the facility and laugh – as we share some stories from our younger years, and our high school days – (mine in Chicago and hers here in Minnesota) – or we’ll talk about our families, and so on.

I think a lot of dealing with the facility I work in and the stress and the need to be on high alert all the time – is just knowing their personalities, how to deal with each one in their own ways if something pops off, and having that trust between me and each of them, and that’s what I make sure I have.

I want them to know that they can trust me, and while sometimes I have to be tough, meet them on their levels and match their energies, for the most part – I’m understanding, kind, and do my best to just be there for them because a lot of them – have never had that love and trust in their lives. 💕 A lot of them don’t have people who care.

Still, I’m so grateful that no matter what I have on my mind on any given day – I forget it all when I go to work, and they make me laugh, or I’m trying to de-escalate a situation and make someone else laugh.

I’ve said it before – I do love my job!

I also giggled yesterday when Daisy was on a roll with her little rants, and she told me, “Go ahead and call the cops on me like everyone else does!”. I told her I would never call the cops on her – unless they were hot. She looked at me and yelled, “Those are the worst ones!!!!”. 🤔 🤣 Oh, my little Daisy!

In other news………………….

I have boxes all over my living room because I’ve been packing and trying to decide what I want to sell of give away.

I have literally April and a few weeks in May to find a place and I still haven’t, so my stress is high.

I thought about just telling the landlord we plan to stay for another year, but my older son and I had a talk the other day and we said a lot of our stress and our sadness comes from being so far from home. From family, friends and familiar places. From not having many opportunities out here in Minnesota and being in such a small town – where everything shuts down at dusk!

We laughed when we agreed it would be nice to be closer to or in IL. again – so we have a variety of stores and places to eat – all close together and didn’t have to travel miles for it. Where we have many different hospitals all close by and don’t have to drive hours for different ones. Where everything stays open late or all night long.

Where there’s streetlights and places to go, things to see and do.

So, while I’ve thought about maybe staying here for another year, we talked and we agreed we absolutely should not do that, and it would be bad for our mental health and each other.

I know he misses his friends and being able to go out with people he knows – to places he knows, and I know damn well I miss everyone back home and just feeling free to not have to drive 3 hours to go shopping or see a movie or do something fun.

I want to be somewhere where not everybody knows everybody else and where people know to mind their own business because here – that’s not the case. Everyone is in everyone’s business.

I hate it here.

As much as I thought about it for a bit, I also know that I’m not happy here. My kids aren’t happy here and it’s time to go. Still, the headache of finding a place is weighing on me, and it’s time to get going with the process.

Moving sucks.

The packing. The looking for movers or doing it all on our own. The finding a place and signing a new lease. The unpacking. It’s all a big migraine, but it has to be done and in the next few weeks, I’ll be starting the entire process.

I’d love to sit here and write so much more, but my little dude wants to go to bed, and he likes when I hang out in his room and talk to him until he falls asleep. He’s begging me to go chill with him, so I’m ending it here.

Love you.

💕Shel💕

It’s baby brother’s birthday.

It’s baby brother’s birthday.

Shel R.1 Comment

Today, is my little brother’s birthday.

We don’t talk anymore and I haven’t even tried to message him because I’m sure he has me blocked anyway.

He’s the type who doesn’t want to hear the truth, and if you’re not agreeing with him or he thinks you’re trying to tell him how to live his life when you’re really trying to give some wisdom – he’ll distance himself from you, and that’s what he did to me.

He didn’t like the fact that I told him the truth, didn’t sugar coat anything, and he didn’t like that I told him what he needed to hear, rather than what he wanted to hear.

We haven’t talked in months now and honestly, I’m okay with that.

I love him dearly and I wish him nothing but the best, but maybe it’s better this way.

Still, on his birthday – I wanted to share some of the funniest, wildest, goofiest memories that I will always love and cherish, and that still make me smile when I think about them. 😊

The Christmas gift war (safe) gone wrong:

Every Christmas, we’d get each other regular gifts, but then we did our Christmas gift wars.

We would wrap funny gifts in tons of wrapping paper, loads of tape, zip ties, etc. to make the gift hard to open, and whoever’s gift took the longest or was the hardest to open – that’s who won the Christmas gift wars.

It was just between him and I, and our mother called us both “idiots”. We had a lot of fun for years – doing this.

Many years back, I brought him this safe and I had a cute keychain inside for him. He had to open the safe to get it to, and I was the only one who had the combination to the safe.

I told him “Good luck” opening it, and I sat there talking to family while he tried.

When I looked at him 5 minutes later, he held the safe up and showed me it was open already.

I was surprised and asked him how the hell he got it open so fast and without the combination.

He smiled and told me, “I’ve been in the military for years! You’d be surprised what I can do or open without a code, a combination or key to a lock”. 😶🤣

In my defense – that was a cheap safe from FIVE BELOW, so maybe they all have the same combination. Who knows?!

“SAY WHAT NOW?”

Another Christmas – he was wearing THESE light-up jammies when I walked in, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Our dad was in the hospital that Christmas and he said he was going to see him in these jammies.

I asked if he was serious, and he sure was! ha.

This photo above though – was when my oldest child was still alive, and her and her girlfriend at the time – were sitting next to my brother – talking about sex and the things they were going to do or try when they got back to Minnesota.

My brother was watching T.V. but when he heard them talking, he looked at them just like that – and says, “Say what now? Alright, there are just some things you can talk about when you get back to Minnesota, and not while you’re sitting next to me. I don’t want to hear that ssssshhhhhiiiiitttttt!”.

We laughed so much that night. 💕

*****

“Her escort. Her hero“

One night I’ll never forget – is the night my oldest daughter competed in the National American Miss pageant, and she needed a male to escort her on stage and off – during the evening gown part.

She was asked who she wanted to escort her and right away, she said: “Uncle Tim”.

She was so happy and he was more than happy to do so.

She didn’t win, but at the end of the night, he ended up getting her a teddy bear and told her that she’d always win HIS HEART. 🤗 She named him, “Berry Bear”, and had him all the way up until the day she passed.

Today, Berry Bear is in my “Jordan bin” with all of her other things I kept since her passing. 🥺

I wish we could go back to this night.

On to funnier memories though…………

One of my favorite memories – will always be the time he took me to a part of Wisconsin 7 hours from where I lived back home in IL. – to get a Husky puppy my now ex-husband wanted.

“Puppy gives my brother a dose of Karma”.

So, he had picked me up that morning and we were driving to this part of Wisconsin that I never even heard of. I don’t even remember where it was. Still, I had no idea that it was so far from where I lived.

I just knew the lady had Husky puppies for sale, my husband at the time wanted one, and I wanted to surprise him because it was SWEETEST DAY. I had just gotten paid, and my brother loved our long car rides together, so he didn’t mind.

That same day, Wisconsin was getting a bunch of tornado watches and warnings, the sky was changing colors as it rained, and the clouds were getting lower. We stopped at McDonalds halfway there to eat, but I couldn’t eat.

I was so nervous.

He kept joking – saying he saw one forming, and I believed it every time he did it.

Thankfully, nothing happened and we got there safely, picked a puppy, and headed back.

On the way back, the puppy was sleeping on my lap, got up all of a sudden, and walked over to my brother’s lap. He thought the puppy was going to lay down, and the puppy ended up squatting, and pooping all over my brother pants, his side of the door area, and on the floor of the driver’s side.

All I heard was, “REALLY DOG? REALLY? ON MY SIDE?”.

I couldn’t stop laughing, but my brother was such a good sport about it, and he looked at me smirking.

He wasn’t even mad. He just told me he was pulling into the next gas station and he told me, “You’re helping me clean this mess up”. I laughed harder and told him that was Karma for teasing me about those tornados earlier in the day. 😁

Before we stopped talking, I still used to tease him about all of these memories I’m writing about tonight.

*****

“Pretty sure you can hear him from way back there!”

My brother and I used to work at an Auto glass / Insurance company together.

We took calls for insurance / glass claims, connected people to glass shop companies who worked with us, and made sure they got their repairs or replacements on time. I was part of the collections department as well, so I worked double and made sure we got the payments in – when work was done.

It was small office when the owner of the company started it, and back then – it was just 7 of us in this little office. The CEO and the two supervisors were on the other side.

Of course, like any co-workers, we had small issues here and there, but we always got over it.

However – my brother and this one girl that I’ll call “Aly” – they hated each other. HATED.

Big time.

They were always arguing about something.

So, one night – it was just myself, my brother, Aly and this other guy that I’ll call Jake.

Everyone else had gone home for the night, but we stayed late.

It was boring. There was nothing going on, so I was working on a claim I had earlier in the day – that I couldn’t figure out. I was sitting at my desk looking at my computer – when a pen flew past my face.

I looked at Jake, and he was looking at his computer, but he was smiling. So, I knew it was him.

I grabbed a marker and threw that at him. We kept throwing different things back and forth – until about 7 PM when we got slammed! Calls started coming in. We started getting claims on the fax machine. We were getting emails and our computers were digging, and we got to work.

Our phones kept ringing and we were taking call after call, but – Aly – her phone would ring, and then stop. This happened a few times and it wasn’t because she was answering the calls. So, when things slowed down, Jake waited until her phone rang again – and he tip-toed over to her desk.

He watched her pick up the phone and gently – quietly place it down, so the call came to one of us instead, and that’s what she had been doing once we got slammed. She wasn’t taking calls. She was making sure she sent them our way – without us knowing.

Jake caught her though, and he yelled at her. She was on some game she was playing online instead, and he had a fit.

She ended up yelling back at him and told him to worry about why he and I were playing around – instead of working on claims we need to finish. I got up to defend myself and to tell her that as soon as calls started coming in and we started getting slammed, we started taking our calls and doing what we needed to. I told her the important thing – is that when we need to get to work, we get there.

She replied with, “I was talking to Jake, not you! Sit down, B****!”.

As soon as that word came out of her mouth, my brother jumped up and screamed so loud. All I heard him say was, “Don’t call my sister a b****!”, as he and Jake both got into it with her.

The next day when we came in, Jake was told the managers wanted to see him in the conference room. I joked that he was in trouble because if they called one of us to the back room, it was for something little or petty, but if you called into the conference room, it was serious!

Aly was already in there with the managers. She emailed them all the night before – to tell them what happened, but I’m sure she left out the part where she was playing games and dissing phone calls.

Her and Jake talked, Jake told his side of the story, and they ended up apologizing to each other. Jake came out and told me that they wanted me in there next.

I went in, we talked and everything was fine. We apologized to each other, and she took her responsibility for the night before, and that was that. They asked me to send my brother in.

My brother went in, closed the door – and this teenager that I’ll call (Marcus) ran to the door to listen.

He knew my brother hated Aly, and he knew my brother wasn’t going to be quiet about anything.

I told Marcus, “Pretty sure you can hear him from way back there!”. Marcus sat in the back, and the conference room was in front of the building. My brother was yelling so loud. Aly was yelling so loud. The entire office heard them – no matter where we were sitting. We looked back at the supervisor who sat with us in the office, and he had his head down – laughing. lol.

They were told not to talk to each other if they didn’t have to.

****

“THE FAKE BUSINESS TRIP”

This is another one of my favorite memories.

My brother once lived in a basement apartment where the window faced the parking lot, and you could easily see inside of his place – if he had his blinds open – which he usually did.

My brother was a player back then, and he was always getting caught.

One night at a club he used to D.J. at, he met a girl I’ll call Leslie. They started dating.

He realized he wasn’t really into Leslie, but instead of telling her the truth, he kept dodging her, making excuses why he couldn’t see her, and not answering her calls – but he’d answer her text messages. So, one day – she asked if she could come by. He said he was going on a business trip with our work managers, and that he had to be at the airport early in the morning, so he was going to get some sleep.

Leslie asked if she could take him to the airport, so they could spend some time together before he left.

He lied and said he was taking his car and leaving it at the airport, because it would be easier for when he gets back. She told him to let her know when he’s back, and he said “okay”. Meanwhile, he met another girl that I’ll call “Amanda”, and he started dating her. He really liked Amanda, and he knew he had to end things with Leslie, but he didn’t know how.

The next morning, Leslie messaged him and asked if she could stop by to see him before he leaves. He said he was already gone. She then asked him why his car was still in his parking lot, and said she thought he was taking it.

That should have told the dummy that this girl was at his house or passed it looking for him – if she knew his car was still there, but he doesn’t think. 🤣 He ended up lying more and telling her his friend from work picked him up and they went to the airport together.

He had no idea that Leslie and a few of her friends – were standing in the parking lot looking straight into his apartment – watching him play catch with his dog, make himself some food, watch T.V. and whatever else he was doing in that time. He also had no idea that Leslie and this other girl Amanda were friends and found out about each other. So, while he lied to Leslie – Amanda called him and asked if she could see him.

She said she was outside. He went outside – and they both confronted him right there.

He was caught.

This was back in the MYSPACE days, and I was his number 1 on his top 8. So, that’s how they knew who I was. One of their friends messaged me and told me what an A-hole my brother is, and when they told me what happened, I laughed so hard and called him.

I told him if he was going to lie to people, the least he could do is put his blinds down and close them.

He told me to ignore them. I teased him and told him this is one memory I’d never let him live down.

Our Uncle Tony was a big-time player, and my mom used to say my brother was just like my uncle.

I always disagreed with her because my uncle didn’t get caught until the day of his funeral (that’s another story) for another day, but my brother was always getting caught.

****

“The “WA-WA” wine glass”.

We were at our parents’ house one day for some reason.

I think it may have been just a Sunday / after church dinner with family.

I was talking to my mother and venting about some things going on in my life, and she was venting about her own things to me. We were just having a normal gal’s chat, and throwing our complaints out there, and when I looked at my brother – he was holding this huge wine glass.

He made me laugh so much and I almost choked on the water I was drinking – when he says, “You need the WA-WA wine glass. Made for major life problems and everything Chee!”.

He always called me CHEE. That was his nickname for me. 💕

THE PATCH.

This dude did his time in the Army, and he once went to surprise my kids at school when he came back from deployment. This was so long ago, and we were still living in Chicago, so we had to get passes for him to go to their classes.

As we sat in the office waiting for the principal, he was in uniform and I asked him what his patch meant.

,

His reply?

“I’M SEXY AS F***!”. 🤣 🙄

He’s always had a sense of humor. We both do.

CLUB DAYS:

He used to D.J. for two different night clubs in the suburbs of Chicago when we were in our 20’s.

This photo below………..

…..made me laugh so much because I remember seeing him and asking him where the RODEO was.

He said he was going to the club, and I joked about his outfit – asking him if his horse was parked in the yard. He told me, “Shut up and come with me!”.

One night when I did go with him, the bouncer wanted to know who I was. He tried flirting and asked my brother if he should “initiate me”. My brother warned him not to do it. He told this guy, “No dude! My sister is NOT the one to do that to!”. I had no idea what they were talking about – until this bouncer slapped me on the ass.

😶

When I tell you my hand automatically went back and I hit him in the stomach – I sure the heck did.

He grabbed his chest, and yelled, “Yo! That hurt! What the hell?”. My brother laughed and told him, “I warned you she wasn’t the one!”. I found out from my brother – that he had a handful of women who came in there and didn’t mind the bouncer slapping their asses. My brother’s right – I wasn’t one of them. ha. He was big a dude. He was okay. I promise.

Here – I asked him for a screenshot of something – and this is what the goofy did! lol.

The day he left for deployment I believe it was.

We were in Missouri to send the soldiers off with love. 💕

The time he was supposed to be hanging Christmas ornaments for our mother, and he realized he knew how to color coordinate. 😶🙄🤣

THE HANGMAN STORY:

This just popped into my mind, so let me jot it down.

We were in church one Sunday because my mom was big on church and expected us to go, especially on holidays. So, this one time we were there – in our 20’s – my brother grabbed the church bulletin, and instead of following along, I looked over at him – drawing the hangman game.

He did the lines on the paper, and wrote:

“WANNA PLAY?”.

It was the middle of the sermon, so everyone was quiet, and I started laughing.

I tried so hard not to laugh out loud, but you could hear me. My mother was so mad.

She looked over at me and then at my brother, and mouthed, “CUT IT OUT!”.

They say laughing when you’re not supposed to be – is some of the best laughing you will ever do, and I can’t say I disagree with that.

My brother held up the hangman on the bulletin, and my mom covered her mouth.

SHE was trying not to laugh, but we could see her starting to, and soon – we were all laughing.

It was bad.

We’re bad. I know.

I wish I could have those times back.

I truly do.

Our mother asked him to go grab some milk while we were over there one day for one of our family dinners.

He came back with three different kinds.

When I asked why, he replied with:

“I’m conducting a milk survey!”. 🤣

He said our parents weren’t answering, he didn’t know which one they wanted, so he brought three different ones.

Makes sense.

I remember him coming to see me in the hospital when I had my youngest son.

He was so scared to hold him, and when I took this photo, he walked over to me and told me, “Take it back before it spits up or something”. Truthfully, I knew he was scared. 💕I laughed and reminded him that my kid is a “him” and not an “it”.

The drunk driver:

This night was not that funny and I’m so grateful we lived to talk about it.

The cops – the EMS – they were all surprised that my brother, myself, his friend and mine – all got out of his car with only a few scratches and bruising.

We were headed to the lake – downtown Chicago one summer night many years back, and my brother was driving. He stopped at a red light, and I was looking for my lip gloss in my purse. I had my head down, and we were all talking and laughing over the loud music – until – a car flew across the intersection and slammed into us.

The guy who hit us – started pulling backwards and I made sure everyone was okay before I jumped out and jumped into HIS car. My brother didn’t hear me, so he didn’t know if I was good or not, but when he turned around – he said he saw my legs sticking out of that other car’s driver side door.

I was trying to get him to give me the keys, so he couldn’t leave the scene.

His car reeked of alcohol, and I knew he had been drinking.

The only thing funny about that night – that I remember – was that when everyone was in a parking lot talking to the cops and EMS, I was holding a little girl.

I have no idea who she was. She belonged to the guy who hit my brother’s car, and when his wife was put into the ambulance for alcohol poisoning – passed out – the guy handed me his kid and jumped into the ambulance with her.

My brother walked over to me, looked at me confused and yelled, “You’re stealing kids at car accidents, now?”. We both laughed so hard, and we needed it after that night.

He’ll still joke about it if someone talks about that night, and he’ll tell you how he thought I was hurt, but he turned around and I was out of the car faster than he could blink, and sticking out of the other guy’s car trying to grab his keys. My brother will laugh about it now, but it was scary.

So please – don’t ever drink and drive.

We did laugh when another car flew by so fast and went down the block, and the tow truck driver just randomly said, “Who the hell was that?”. One of the cops replied, “Your next call!”.

Please drive safely.

That night could have been so much worse, but I’m glad we can laugh at certain things about it now, and we’re here to talk about it.

****

THE RUNAWAY RIM:

This will be the last one because while I have so many great memories and stories – It’s late and I can’t think right now.

This one popped into my mind and I’m sitting here laughing as I write it.

So, we went cruising one day. If you had nothing to do and the weather was nice in Chicago – you went cruising. Nowhere to go, but driving around to see who is out, and what’s going on.

It was my brother driving, his best friend Tony in the passenger seat, me and my friend Julie in the back.

The music was blasting, and all of a sudden – we hit a big pothole, and we hear my brother yell, “DAMMIT! F***! SHIT! DAMN!”. All kinds of curse words.

He pulls over and gets out of the car, and we look and see one of his rims rolling down the street.

Julie and I are in the back laughing so hard, we’re in tears. He looked at both of us and gave us both the middle finger, as he closed his door and we laughed even harder when we saw him chasing his rim down the street. It kept going. He kept going. 🤣

As soon as he closed the door – the song “IT’S SO HARD” by BIG PUN was on the radio, and the part where he says, “Spun the U-ey, lost a hubcap” – played. When Tony laughed with us and said he didn’t want to laugh in front of my brother – the tears from laughing so hard were amazing. lol.

Those were good times.

So, even if we’re not talking anymore – I remember every little funny, goofy memory and we do have so many memory I can’t think of right now – that I’ll forever cherish no matter what.

Happy birthday to my little brother, and I thank him for all the good times and the good laughs growing up and way into our adult years.

Goodnight loves.

💕Shel💕

Missing home.

Missing home.

Shel R.1 Comment

So, Tuesday – I got a call from my brother’s ex-wife telling me some heartbreaking news about my oldest nephew.

He’s only 9, but he’s dealing with some things that involve his mental health.

It’s not my business to share everything, so I’m going to leave it at that, but I know that whenever my nephews see Auntie (me) and their cousins (my kids), they get so excited and happy.

So, I decided that we’d leave Minnesota and head to IL. on Wednesday morning – to surprise them. We’d take my oldest nephew out first – while his little brother is in school, and then we’d pick up his brother from school and spend the rest of the day with both of them.

We arrived in IL. Wednesday night, and I was a little skeptical about our hotel because it wasn’t the usual one we’ve stayed at before. Still, I wanted to try something new, and I don’t regret it.

It was a lot better than the one we always stay in.

This one – we had to literally climb onto the beds because they were so high off the floor.

We call my youngest daughter “Mousey” because she’s short and little, so we laughed when she asked how the heck she was supposed to get up onto her bed. She struggled for a few minutes, but she did it! lol.

We laughed even more when her feet couldn’t touch the floor.

Wednesday night was just a chill night.

We ordered food, watched T.V. and knocked out pretty early, since we got there so late.

It felt good to be back home in IL. and I was happy that this hotel was so nice.

We were on the 2nd floor, and right when we stepped outside of our hotel door, we were able to see right over the banister – downstairs to the front desk, so my kids enjoyed the fact that I could stand outside of our hotel room, and watch them go downstairs for snacks in the little hotel store area. I felt better knowing I could see them get their snacks, get on the elevator and wait for them to get off of it – because the elevator was right by the hotel room as well.

Thursday, we were up pretty early to go grab my oldest nephew (T.J.).

He had no idea we were coming, so we stopped at Starbucks (right next door to the hotel), and my kids laughed so much when I was saying “HELLO” to a big menu and a pole – that I thought was the speaker.

When I realized I was saying “HELLO” to this pole, I pulled up to the next menu where the real speaker was.

When we ordered and got our stuff, my drink had this on the cup:

With the exclamation and all!

My daughter thinks they heard me yelling HELLO to the pole, and this was making fun of me. 🤣

To that I say – WHAT-EV-ER! ha.

We grabbed my nephew.

His mom told him she had to run something downstairs and brought him with. When he saw us – his face lit up so much, and he literally RAN to us and jumped into my arms. ❤️

We talked for a few seconds, before his mom and I talked, and I asked if he wanted to come hang out with us. He smiled so big and said yes.

We stopped for breakfast at IHOP. I miss IHOP. We don’t have that here in our neck of the woods (Minnesota). It may be in the bigger cities’ – hours away, but not where we are. So, we went to IHOP, and I had to take a photo of a sign that said, “REACHING ACROSS THE TABLE IS PERMITTED”.

I told my daughter they must have put that up for her – because she’ll order her own food and then reach over the table to dig into other people’s food. I told her one day – she’s going to get on her future boyfriends’ nerves. 😁 She had ordered Chocolate Chip pancakes once when we went out to eat, and she was eating my Biscuits and Gravy instead.

After we had breakfast, my daughter wanted to go to TOYS R’ US that just opened in the mall across the street.

I miss that mall! I love Harlem / Irving Plaza (also known in Chicago as THE HIP!)

Great memories from years of shopping here.

This is where I used to go to get all my fun pager covers as a teenager. Who else had a pager?

This is where my best friend and I used to go when we cut classes in high school. Please don’t do that!

I regret every minute of cutting classes and wish I did NOT back then, but anytime we came here – it was so much fun. It changed a lot since then, but it’s still a great mall, and it’s always usually so busy.

So, we went to Toys R’ Us and looked around for a bit. It’s absolutely nothing like the real Toys R’ Us from my childhood, but it was still fun.

I want to visit BABIES R’ US one day. I heard that made a comeback as well, and that’s where I used to shop for all of my kid’s things when they were babies. ❤️

We got a few goodies, and when we left here – we walked through the mall for a bit.

My daughter had money on her, so she ended up buying my little dude some things, and he loved walking through the mall with his big old bag in his hand.

We left the mall and tried to figure out what else to do – to keep us busy until 3 PM when my youngest nephew got out of school.

Their mom said it’d be okay if we wanted to pick him up early, so she ended up calling the school for an early dismissal, and we went to surprise him there.

When we walked in, the principal yelled out, “So, you’re the magical Auntie I keep hearing about!”.

She gave me the biggest hug, and we talked about what was going on with my nephew, and she thanked me for all the support I give my nephews and their mother. I apologized to her for my brother not really being the dad he needs to be or should be, but I did tell her that my nephews and their mom have a lot of support, including mine.

She told me that she hears a lot about me, and she’s so glad to finally meet me.

She brought another lady who she wanted us to meet, and we all sat there and talked for a bit, while we waited for my younger nephew to come downstairs to the office.

When he saw us, he smiled so big, ran to his locker to get his things and gave us the biggest hugs when he got to the office.

We ended up going bowling.

My nephew T.J. and my kiddo, Eli.

T.J. won the game.

My daughter and I were competing against each other, and we had so much fun.

The kids had so much fun.

After that, we went to eat at DUKES.

It was late in the afternoon by then, and the kids were hungry, so I figured we’d stop by here.

I miss DUKES. I used to go there all the time when my kids were small, and I haven’t been there in so long. It seems like the neighborhood I grew up in – has changed so much, and some things are no longer there, so on the way to DUKES, I prayed it was still standing and open.

I haven’t been there in SIX years, since moving to Minnesota.

If you’re ever in Chicago and want a good hotdog or burger – or even a great Italian Beef sandwich – this is the place to get them. (Elston and Central) if I remember correctly.

We then stopped at the bookstore because I wanted to pick up a copy of Bunnie XO’s new book.

The kids stayed in the car with my daughter – while I ran into BARNES & NOBLE to get this.

I miss Barnes & Noble.

I used to go there all the time when we lived in Chicago.

You know I love to read and I love books, so it felt so good to be back in B&N.

Also, I love Bunnie Xo. Say what you want about her or her past, but she’s so real about it, hides NOTHING, and tries her best to help steer other young women in the right direction, so they don’t go the route she did.

She’s such a sweetheart and I hear that she’ll do anything to help those in need.

People really do change!

She’s open and honest about who she was and she’s so proud of who she is now.

So, I wanted to read her story.

She has also become A New York Times best seller with this book. So, Congrats to Bunnie XO.

Anyway, after the bookstore – the kids saw FIVE BELOW across the way and asked if we could go there.

I miss FIVE BELOW. lol

I miss everything back home that we don’t have here in our area in Minnesota, so I was more than happy to take them.

I suggested to my nephews that we throw a goody bag of cute gifts together for their mom because she deals with a lot of this stuff by herself – without my brother’s help, and now – she’s dealing with this new situation with my older nephew – alone as well. My brother isn’t really doing much, so – to make her smile – the boys helped me pick out some things for her, and we put them in a cute bag.

Meanwhile, I had no idea where my children went.

My daughter took my little dude and said they’d be back.

I begged her to watch him so closely, but I knew she would. She’s responsible.

A little while later, my kids came back and handed me a gift bag. My daughter said she heard my idea to have my nephews pick out things for their mom, so my daughter and son went to pick out some cute things for me! 😁❤️ How adorable is that?!!!!!! They are so thoughtful, and I was so grateful!

My kids got me a few keychains they knew I’d love. They got me a STITCH balloon because they know I love Lilo and Stitch. They got me a STITCH Pillow and a cute STITCH plushie wearing a Skeleton costume, some of my favorite candies and an amazing Coconut candle because they know I love anything Coconut scented.

I absolutely love my kids and how they think about me often.

We went a few other places after that, and after a long day and it being late – I took my nephews back home. They had a great day. We had a great day with them, and they were so happy and tired.

They were not happy that I got a hotel room WITHOUT THEM – as they said (lol), but they made their own plans to come swimming at the hotel on Friday. I told them we’d see, but they kept asking what time I was coming to get them. I planned to maybe go get them and order pizza, but we had so much to do on Friday morning, that plans changed.

We were running around town – (just my kiddos and I) – going to different shops and places.

My daughter wanted to go clothes shopping because she needed some new things.

I wanted to stop at the VOLO MUSUEM antique stores because anytime I’m in IL. – I must pick up some new 90’s trolls. I collect them, and I always go see if they have new ones.

This time – I only found one I really liked.

I call her “GRANDMA”. 🤣

I was about to pay for her, but my daughter whipped out her debit card and told me she wanted to buy GRANDMA for me. I tried to pay still, but my daughter wouldn’t let me.

She’s such a sweetheart.

We were treating each other the last few days.

I brought her a beanie she wanted.

She treated me to other things she surprised me with. I treated her to things she wanted.

There’s so many things at the VOLO – so many antiques to take photos of, I’d be there all day, but – I snapped a few.

My kids laughed when I said I wore pants like these in high school, and I said it’s sad that they’re in an ANTIQUE mall now. They joked that I’M antique!

In the words of Stephanie Tanner from Full House:

The VOLO always makes me smile because there’s so many things I remember from my childhood.

These are perfect for anyone’s gaming room / bedroom if you grew up back then.
My grandma and grandpa had radios like that when I was growing up. 😁
My brother had an entire village of LITTLE PEOPLE when he was a kid. It’s crazy to think they’re “antiques / old school” now.
If you haven’t seen the VOLO museum episode – go check it out.

They say the VOLO is haunted, especially by SHADOWMAN, and they’ll have notes posted of the ghost “hot spots” around.

My little dude loves looking for these.

Looking for a Cabbage Patch? The VOLO has plenty! I had some when I was a little girl.

I remember all of us kids and teens trading cards, bubble gum and stickers of our favorite shows growing up, and ELF was one show I watched all the time, so this was pretty cool to see.

My daughter and I were talking about how wild it is – to think how old much of this stuff is, and who owned it way back then. Some of these antiques are so expensive and fragile.

If you’re ever in IL. – go check this place out.

The VOLO mall has tons of cars from movies, shows, and famous people, and the antique stores have plenty of old school memories and goodies.

After the VOLO, we went clothes shopping.

We went to get PANDA EXPRESS for my older son, because he didn’t go with us to IL. and wanted us to bring him some back. We were leaving Saturday morning, and I didn’t want to forget it. So, we just threw it in the fridge at the hotel, so it’d stay semi-fresh.

Friday – we also had to stop at STAKE N’ SHAKE!

I miss Stake N’ Shake.

Again, it’s another place we don’t have here in Minnesota, and the FRISCO MELTS and Shakes – are amazing.

The kids got M&M / Oreo shakes, and I got the Banana.

When we finally got done running around shopping and getting whatever we needed, we stopped at an ice cream shop my mom told us about years ago, and we’ve loved it ever since.

Check them out as well if you’re ever in IL.

They have all kinds of Chocolate and other candies / goodies. Ice cream. Fudge. Taffy apples of all kinds, and so much more.

We got Ice cream and went back to the hotel.

The kids went swimming, and I sat there watching them – as I was looking up weather in Minnesota for Saturday when we would be heading back. I heard there was freezing rain and supposed to be snow, but thankfully – we didn’t run into any of that.

After swimming for a while, the kids wanted to go back to the room, dry off and order pizza.

We went to sleep soon after and headed back to Minnesota early yesterday morning.

I hate driving back to Minnesota in the dark, so we got a headstart to drive while it was still daylight.

We’re back.

I hate it.

I want to go back to IL.

I miss it.

I miss everyone out there, and the places we don’t have here.

I don’t miss the traffic and the cars that think the road is their racetrack, but I do miss home.

So very much!

I came home yesterday, put everything away, my daughter started laundry and we relaxed, but today – it’s packing and getting rid of things we don’t use or need – because I want to be back home this summer if possible.

I didn’t even want to come back to Minnesota, but here we are. Back in it. Not by choice.

It was good to be home for a while, and to be in places we haven’t seen in so long, and it always does my soul good.

Hopefully, we only have two more months here because my daughter graduates soon, and we want to have the moving truck in the parking lot that same day – if all goes well.

My loves….

Have a wonderful Sunday.

XOXO

❤️Shel❤️

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

Shel R.6 Comments

I must apologize for my lack of writing lately.

I’ve been so busy.

Between searching for our new home, getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, and work – life has been kicking my ass.

I’ve also been helping several other teenagers with their work that many of them are behind on. (My daughter’s friends).

I want to see them all graduate and they’re all like my own kids. Many of them call me “Mom”, and have for years, so I don’t mind helping them. I want to see them walk across the stage, just like I can’t wait to see my daughter do so.

Letters went out a few weeks ago – after the Dean of students met with all of the Seniors and went over their credits and plans after high school. These letters either told parents that their students are not on track to graduation and need to make up credits, as well as the work they need to make up – or – parents got letters that their child *IS* on track to graduation, has their credits needed, or is close to it.

My daughter is one of those on track to graduate, and she has more credits than needed, but still needs 1/2 credit in Building trades – which she’ll get this semester, and one in English – which she’ll also get. So, she’s doing great and I am so proud!

Still, her friends that received letters that they needed credit recovery and are not on the path to graduation, I’ve offered my help and told my daughter, “Have them bring their binders of work or whatever they have to do – over to our house if they need help”.

I have a friend who told me she admires me because no matter what I have on my own plate or what I’m dealing with – no matter what I have on my mind – I’m still opening my home to these teenagers and offering a hot meal when they’re here, my help with their work, and rides from school and back home when they leave.

I just see it as something I have to do – to make sure none of my daughter’s friends are left behind, and I love when they come to me for help. They know I’m going to help if their parents can’t or won’t, and they know my home is safe, clean, and they’re allowed to grab snacks, pop, water – whatever they want, while getting the help they need. ❤️

Work:

Work has been hectic, insane, stressful, exhausting, busy and wild.

We have people coming and going. We have all kinds of things going on – some good and some not so good.

We have our people who drink and can’t handle their liquor, so they’re starting fights and making poor choices, or arguing with staff. We have people who are wild and out of control sometimes, and then – we have those who make us laugh and remind us why we love that job so much. 😊

This past weekend – my son and I were told about a fight that happened during the week, and when we watched the cameras, the fight was comical. It was between two men who live in the facility we work in, and the fight started in one of their rooms, and ended up in the hallway – where you could see them both just fall on the floor and lay there – exhausted and drunk.

My son and I played the cameras back and watched the whole fight.

One of my favorite things about that fight – is when ANOTHER guy was telling us about it this past weekend, and he said he had to go “help break up the fight”. I almost laughed right in his face, but I held it back because again – WE WATCHED THE CAMERAS and this other guy was nowhere in those videos breaking up anything. The fight broke up on its own when they wore themselves out and both dropped to the floor to rest but listen – if this other guy wanted us to think he broke up the fight – more power to him.

Another thing we laughed at this weekend – was when one of our other male residents at the facility – said he’s moving out at the end of the month and asked if I’d sign his boobs.

At first – I looked at him like:

Then, he pulled out ceramic boobs that had a bikini top on them, and he asked me again.

He said he wants everyone to sign his boobs before he leaves. 🤣

I told him I’d be more than happy to sign. I grabbed them and wrote, “Good luck! Love, Shel” – with a heart.

He was so happy and thanked me. My son also signed and I tried to help him out by asking others if they’ve signed his boobs yet, and I got the same funny look – that I had on my face when he first asked me, but others laughed – just like I did – when he explained. ha.

He’s the same man who always asks me if I’ll dip my finger in his food before he eats it, and I never know if he’s serious or just joking – and no, I’ve never done it! lol. I’m a good sport about it and I’ll laugh, but I always wonder if he’s serious. No, I’ll never do it – even if he is!

He’s such a sweetheart though. I’m going to miss his silliness when he leaves.

So, I joked with him and made him laugh when I handed his ceramic boobs back – and told him, “Now I can cross SIGNING BOOBS – off my bucket list!”.

Last time I wrote – I also talked about “Daisy”. That feisty little elderly woman who gives a lot of problems sometimes, but over the past few weeks, I’ve shown her nothing but love, compassion, honesty, and respect – and believe me when I tell you – that if you show that to the people in this facility – they usually show it right back and they know who truly cares about them – and who is just there for a paycheck.

They can tell!

I’ve gotten close to Daisy over the last few weeks, and while others see her as a problem or troublemaker, I see her as someone who is hurting, who has been hurt in the past, who has a lot to say and nobody to listen, and who just wants that love and compassion that my son and I show her when we’re there.

She’s a great person if you really get to know her. Not a lot of our staff take the time to show her the love, care, compassion and respect that we have, and I hate to say it – but if they did – they’d change their perspectives about her.

This morning, I was dealing with one issue that was going on – on the 2nd floor, and when I walked up the stairs – as I passed Daisy’s room, I heard her yelling and screaming, so I made a mental note to stop by there as soon as I handled this other situation going on.

When I did, Daisy was grateful to see me, told me she hurt her leg really bad, and needed help putting her shoe on. All day today, I’ve checked on Daisy – did whatever I could for her – and locked up our office a few times – to go take care of Daisy.

Daisy has started calling me, “My girl”. It’s too cute! She’ll say, “How are you doing today, my girl?”, “I’ll see you later, my girl!”.

Today when I was leaving work, she was outside and she yelled, “I love you, my girl. Thank you for everything you do and did for me, Shel”. She never walks away from me now or hangs up if she calls the office – without telling me, “Love you, my girl!”.

I just wish our other staff would take the time to get to really know her, understand her, and communicate with her – like we have.

They see a troublemaker. A problem. A headache. I see an aunt figure. A grandma figure. A lady who just wants to be cared about. ❤️

I have learned that if she is screaming, yelling, cursing or angry about someone – I’m the one who can always get her to smile, calm her down, joke with her – and get her to behave. (At least until my shift is over). lol. We have an understanding, and I think as mothers – she and I share grief because she lost her older son and she shared that story with me, and I shared the story of losing my oldest daughter.

I know that pain!

She’s native, so she found out I want to learn the language and told me I need to come hang out with her when I’m not working.

In fact, everyone in the facility loves my son and I so much – and the love and care we show them – that we’ve been offered to go hang out with a few of them.

Just yesterday when we were almost off of work – one of them called the office and she had a few others in the room with her. They wanted us to come hang out in there when we clocked out. As much as we would have loved to kick back and chill with them – it’s against policy and we had to keep it professional, so we just let them know one of our lead staff was coming in, and we couldn’t do that, but we thanked her and others for the offer.

We’ve been told by many of them that we’re two of the best employees the facility has, and a few of them have loved the fact that no matter what we have on our minds, what’s going on in our personal lives, or how we feel any day we’re at work – we always go in with a smile, use humor to handle situations, and joke around with all of them.

They enjoy that. Even on the days when I work alone and it gets crazy, busy and wild – I joke and smile, because it means a lot to them.

I just found out on yesterday morning – that one of the female residents wanted me to go to a Drag show with her – that had free food and drinks, or promotions going on. She said by the time she came down to invite me to go with her, my shift was over and I was gone. She said she wanted to ask the 2nd shift if they have my phone number, but she felt awkward and didn’t know the facilities rules about that.

She’s one of our coolest residents, and so – I wrote down my number and handed it to her.

Was I supposed to? Probably not, but I think it’s all about knowing who you can trust and know that they won’t cross any boundaries, and who you know you can absolutely NOT give that kind of information to.

I love this job. I’ve said it many times. I love our residents.

Some of them even cook or bake for us. 😁There’s one that has made us brownies and cookies on more than one occasion, and she’ll bring those down for us. Daisy made us fry bread one day, and that was amazing. I’ve had a resident make me a dreamcatcher, and another one who drew me a photo and plans to make me a few Eagle drawings soon.

Again, it’s all about how you treat them because once they know you really do care and this isn’t just for a paycheck – they’re going to look out for you and love you / respect you right back!

I giggled today when Daisy asked me when I’d be back, and I told her I don’t work again until Saturday. She rolled her eyes and told me that’s way too long. I told her I’d be back if someone asked me to cover their shift.

One thing I’ve also learned at this job – is that when something goes down – you have to know how to personally handle each and every person differently, and what works or what doesn’t with each one. We’ve learned that and there’s some people there that my son handles if he’s there, and there’s some people that communicate better with me and I’ll tell him, “I got this!”. The days when I’m alone at work – and it’s just me – I try to handle each situation calmly, and firmly – so they know I’m not messing around, but I also care very much.

I think with a lot of them being addicts or previous addicts, most of them drunk on most days, and dealing with some who are criminals, we always have to be careful, but knowing them personally – and having them respect us – helps us – or at least me – know that sometimes – we have to meet them where they are and talk to them – how they’ll understand.

One couple in the facility recently broke up and the lady asked me to watch her collect her things from her ex-boyfriend’s room. I went upstairs to watch, and I stood in the doorway while she grabbed her things. Her ex-boyfriend wasn’t in there, and I had my back turned – when I heard him come up behind me and yell – TO ME -, “What the F*** are you doing in my room?”. He likes to talk to her like that, and it aggravates many of us, but we try not to say anything. So, I turned to face him and MET HIM ON HIS LEVEL!

I matched his energy.

I calmly – but firmly said, “What the f*** are you doing talking to me like that?”. The look of surprise on his face was priceless, and he lowered his tone. I told him she was getting her things, and he didn’t have much to say after that.

I also joked that I have one foot in his room, and one foot in the hallway, so technically – I’m not really IN his room. He stayed quiet for the most part – the rest of the time she was getting her stuff. Some of them – you just have to meet them on their level and let them know you’re not the one to mess with, and they get it. A lot of them will show respect once they learn they can’t do whatever they want, and if they show us respect, we give it right back – and vice versa.

Could he have knocked me on my ass if he wanted to? Most likely, but I wasn’t going to go down easy, and if I thought he was going to do anything, I may have thought twice, but I know him. I’ve gotten to learn that he’s also hurting and he’s been through a lot, and he needs someone to tell it like it is.

SO, work has been wild the last week or two, and now that the weather is semi getting nicer a bit, it’s going to get even crazier at work, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It keeps us on our toes, and keeps us busy, so time goes by faster.

I have a different approach to different people and situations there, but it works every time. I can joke around and make you laugh, so you communicate with me and do what I’m asking of you or to calm you down, or – I can be tough and firm – but either way, however I approach things – they usually work. I know who I have to be tough and firm with, and those that I can joke with to make a situation go away.

I’m tired.

This job is draining, but still – I’m grateful for it. T

The moving thing …………………..

Don’t even get me started.

I’m so tired of looking for our new place.

I’ve found a few different places I loved, and the internet is full of scams.

I’ve emailed properties – only to get someone message me back and say, “I’m currently in Texas on business, but if you want to send me the deposit, I can show you the house when I get back in two weeks”, blah. blah. blah. I’ve gotten a few of those from people in different states – and then I look up the property on Zillow, and it shows that it’s for sale, or it’s off the marker and an actual family lives there.

It always makes me wonder if they’re aware that people are putting their properties online and scamming other people with it.

I’d never send money online.

I watched a video of some poor girl who was able to go see a house for rent, get the code to the lockbox for the key, and go in to tour the home, so she thought everything was legit – only to send the landlord $5,000 for a few months of rent upfront, and the home was for sale. It wasn’t being rented and this girl just got scammed out of all that money – from some “out of state” landlord claiming he’d be back soon to meet her.

It’s so scary with all of the scams going on now.

If I do find a legit listing – either they don’t allow pets, or it’s a really nice place – but the bedrooms are the size of a small bathroom. If all looks good, I don’t like the kitchen or there’s very little counter and cabinet space, or if a place is perfect – something always throws me off.

Maybe I’m being too picky!

So, I haven’t found the perfect place yet. I know I have to really start looking and going to take a look in person because I want to have something locked and secured by May 1st, but it’s just been a headache. I know damn well I don’t want to stay here in Minnesota, but I also know traveling to see other places is going to be a migraine as well.

I plan to have a list of places to look at, and appointments set before I go anywhere, and still – I’m stalling to pack. I’m stalling to keep looking, and I know I really have to.

I’ve been doing that almost every day – besides work, helping teens get work done, and getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, so it’s all been slamming me, and I haven’t had time to write.

Loves….

I miss you all so much.

I’ll catch up tomorrow.

My laptop battery is dying, and I have to be up early.

Sweet dreams.

❤️Shel❤️