Tag: faith

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

Shel R.5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
View all responses

To answer today’s WP writing prompt question………………..

I want the words “It happens” – in memory of my oldest daughter – with Angel wings, the time of her birth and the time of her death.

I don’t want the dates on there because I don’t want to remember the date of her death.

I’d rather see the time she was born – that made me a mother, and the time of her death (the hour she got to meet God and felt peace).

“It happens” – represents the very last hilarious memory we had together.

*****

I was near Minneapolis the day before the “it happens” incident – for a dentist appointment and I stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

I live 4 hours from Minneapolis, so it was a long drive and I was starving.

I ended up leaving my debit card at Wendy’s, so when I called them – I was told that the manager has it in the safe, and if I brought my I.D. in the next day, he’d hand it over. I needed my debit card the next day, so early in the morning – I’m talking (5 AM) early – I got ready to drive all that way to go get my card.

My Tiffie “Jordan” found out and asked if she could come with me. She lived across the hall at the time, and I told her to be ready.

She loved long car rides, and she was ready before I was.

My youngest daughter rode with us as well.

On the way back, we were all so tired from waking up earlier that morning, so we were quiet driving home.

My oldest was in the passenger seat and she randomly said, “The Tile shop” – as she was looking out of the window.

I looked over, saw the Tile shop, and replied, “It happens!”.

I have no idea why I said that, but I was so tired – it just came out for no reason.

My daughter was so confused, looked over at me and says, “Wwwwhaaattt? Why would you say that? That didn’t require a response”. 🤣 We all started laughing so hard. Literally, we had tears in our eyes because we couldn’t stop laughing.

She kept mocking me and saying, “It happens!”, and then said “The tile shop. It happens!” – joking that it could be their new motto / jingle. She said “it happens” made no sense, and we just kept laughing. Eventually, she had to tell me to stop because I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t drive straight, but that’s what made that moment even more hilarious.

I’m sitting here laughing right now – not able to drink my coffee because I still recall how much we were laughing – at that moment.

It went on for at least 10 minutes, and when we stopped – one of us would say it again, “The tile shop. It happens!”, and we’d all start laughing again.

We decided at that moment – that as soon as my youngest daughter turned 18, we’d each go get matching “It happens” tattoos.

I don’t know if my youngest daughter still wants to do that or not, and Tiffie “Jordan” has passed on – but it’s a tattoo that I plan to get for myself – because it’s a reminder not only of our last hilarious memory with my oldest that day – but – of the fact that life happens, and doesn’t stop or slow down for anyone – even in grief.

And now – I’m crying as I write this part.

For me, “It happens” – is both a great memory months before she passed, and a reminder that there’s things in life I can’t control, and I just have to shrug my shoulders, say “It happens” and trust God to take care of those things. “It happens” can be both – a funny memory and a sad reminder that things do happen and life has to go on.

So, for me – I want the tattoo – as a reminder of both meanings.

My next tattoo:

Again – with the time of her birth and the time of her death.

💕

I also want to eventually get a memorial tattoo a little more meaningful, but I haven’t figured that out yet.

I have different ideas.

As for where I’d put it, still not sure of that, either – but it’s happening. It happens. ha.

*****

Anyway, let me share some updates.

The landlord finally sold the building.

He had new roofs put on last week, and the lady who helps him with the property and I – were kind of talking and I realized that he probably accepted an offer, and one of the conditions of the purchase – was that he put new roofs on the garage and building.

I would have asked for those garages to be torn down and rebuilt if I were buying this place, but either way – I’m hoping the new people are good. I’m hoping they’re not a “put a band-aid on it and call it a day” people – like our landlord was.

Everyone got notices on their doors yesterday – stating that as of today – we have new owners.

It said they have to honor all leases until leases end, and that they will be reaching out to introduce themselves. Not sure if it’s in email, person or by phone. It also said they will let everyone know how to pay April rent, and I’m hoping we can pay online, because I was so tired of using VENMO or money orders to send rent to our last landlord.

Still, even if I move soon – I’m happy the people living here – have new owners for the building because while I don’t think our last landlord was a bad guy, I do think he wasn’t the best landlord.

The bunny:

My daughter’s bunny stinks!

Really bad.

I kept telling her to clean the cage, because I thought it was the bedding or that she wasn’t changing it, and she kept telling me she cleans his cage out all the time.

We went back and forth for weeks on it, and I kept buying her different bedding to see which one worked best for the smell, and no matter how many times she changed the bedding or cleaned the cage and scrubbed it down – I’d go in her room, and it smelled like hell in there, and I still thought it was the cage.

She insisted it was the bunny. I told her there’s no way the bunny smells like that.

So, I gave in and took the bunny to the vet last week, and upon getting close to the small transport cage he was in, I smelled the bunny. The smell was coming from the bunny. I just looked at my daughter and yelled, “OH MY GOD!”. She said, “See! I told you it was him!”.

The vet did a full exam and some lab work, and the lab work looked good, so when she came back into the room to talk to us, she said the problem was simple.

She told my daughter to cover her ears (joking around of course!).

The vet looked at me and told me, “The bunny is horny!”.

I looked at her like:

And laughed.

“You’re joking, right?” – I said.

She said this is common and when male bunnies get horny and want some – they don’t wash themselves like they should or like they’re supposed to be.

They stop taking care of themselves because the smellier the bunny – the more they attract female bunnies.

She then adds to it and tells me that he’ll hump whatever he can in his cage and when he ejaculates – it sticks to his fur in the back and his testicles. 🙄 That in return – is making parts of his bedding stick to his testicles because he’s all sticky and nasty, and because he’s not cleaning himself because he wants to attract a female bunny – that’s all coming together and creating that awful smell on him.

I rolled my eyes, and asked what could be done.

She said it’s easily fixable in BUCKS. I didn’t even know they call male bunnies – BUCKS.

I thought that was just for male deer.

Them not cleaning themselves and making themselves smell like that – asserts maturity and dominance according to the vet, and in the wild – will attract a female bunny.

Maybe I should have done more research before walking into a pet store and thinking a bunny would be adorable for my daughter after she lost her bird a few years back.

So now – this bunny is maturing, and he’s horny – which is causing all these other issues and the smell.

He’s nasty and unsanitary! That’s what he is. He’s doing it for attention from a female bunny as I said, and he doesn’t realize his dumbass is an inside bunny and there’s no female bunnies around. Nor – will there ever be! Sorry for ya – Looney! Dammit, Looney! Yes, that’s his name.

My daughter thinks this is hilarious.

I ($600 later) do not!

So, the plan? To get the $600 together to have his testicles removed, remove all the sticky parts of his bottom from him ejaculating on himself and getting his bedding stuck to it as well – which obviously requires surgery and him to be put under – so he doesn’t try to get away and hurt himself during surgery.

His ears need to be cleaned also. Again, he’s not cleaning himself like he should be – for the simple and stupid fact that he doesn’t understand he’s an indoor bunny.

Some people I’ve told this story to – laugh so much when I tell it – and they suggested I get a female bunny because it would be cheaper than surgery for our male bunny. No thanks!

A female bunny for our male bunny = a bunch of baby bunnies I don’t need or want.

I swear – my life is never boring.

If it’s not something with the kids – it’s one of the animals. If it’s not the kids or the animals – a bill pops up to surprise me or something at work is going on that I have to deal with. If it’s not any of that – my car comes up with a new issue.

Life needs to slow the hell down and let me just sit and breath for a minute!

But it doesn’t stop there.

Want to talk about my car?! Let’s do that!

So, if you remember and you read my blogs pretty regularly – (Thank you first of all) – 2nd – you’ll know my car has been giving me problems.

The EPC and check engine light have been on in the last few months.

The RPM needle goes crazy sometimes and bounces around on its own.

This causes my engine to shake like crazy and my car to make this loud, awful noise.

My car feels like it wants to shut off or take off – either one – by itself. It feels like it wants to accelerate on its own sometimes.

When I’m parked and the car is on – it rattles and sometimes – it feels weird driving when I step on the gas.

Now, I like to support small businesses, and if a small business is amazing and gives great customer service, I’ll promote them everywhere and anywhere for free. I’ll tell the world about them – to help them grow their business.

However, if customer service is awful, and they do nothing to fix the issue or make it right – I’m also going to let people know that they should go elsewhere.

Now, everyone has different experiences with different places, so I can only tell what happened to me and it’s their choice to go try the business out or take my advice and go elsewhere.

Anyway – I’ll call this guy “Mario”, although – I should put him on blast, but that’s not the kind of person I am.

I took my car to Mario’s shop months ago and explained the issues. He saw the issues for himself when he got in my car, looked under my hood and saw / heard everything that was going on.

“It’s an easy fix. It’s the Spark plug! You have a bad one!”. Mario told me.

“Great! Let’s get that ordered and taken care of!”. I told Mario.

I was grateful it wasn’t anything big (Or – so I thought!).

He changed the Spark plug the same day, and I left.

$100 later – and my car was good for a day and then started doing the same exact things all over again and I realized Mario was wrong. So, I took the car back, told him it wasn’t a Spark plug, and he acted confused, but told me if I give him a few hours with my car to do a “deep dive” – he’d figure it out.

A few weeks later, Mario checked it out and told me, “You need a new Timing chain”. He said something about the Timing chain being bad, and half of it sliding down 3 teeth on Cam shaft bank 1 – or whatever the hell he said. Something like that. lol. I didn’t listen fully, but he also said the other Spark plugs and a sensor also need to be changed.

I asked if that would fix these issues and he said – in his heavy accent, “Yes, yes!”.

Fine. Let’s get those parts ordered and get this all done.

A few months ago – back in January I believe it was – my car was in the shop, and everything was being replaced. His wife was nice enough to drive me home and then pick me up to go back and get my car when it was done – many hours later.

I took it home, drove it and thanked them so much – because it drove beautifully – FOR THAT DAY.

The next day – I went to pick up the kids from school, and my car stated, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. It smelled highly of gas, and I called Mario and let him know. He came right over because his shop is right down the block.

When he looked under the hood – he giggled a bit and told me, “Your fuel pump just went…………..” (and he made the exploding noise with his mouth). Excuse me? Why are you laughing first of all? 2nd – my fuel pump was just fine before you worked on my car.

I didn’t tell him that because I didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but he says, “maybe you need a new fuel pump, but maybe not. Maybe you have a fuel leak, but maybe not”. I do or don’t to all of your “maybe’s” sir. Figure it out! So, he reconnected it and said it should be okay. It’s been okay for now, but who knows if it’s messing up or not. My car was able to be driven that day, but it’s still doing the same exact issues it was doing when it originally went to this guy.

The Spark plug didn’t fix it.

The Timing chain replacement, other Spark plugs being changed and the sensor didn’t fix it. It was back to doing the same things.

I took it back to him again. It also started doing this thing where it jerks forward when I try to drive.

I told him all of that and how none of the things he’s done, has fixed the issues.

The 4th time I took it back to him – he said something just needed to be cleaned from under the hood, so he did that. It drove fine that day.

Still back to the same problems the next day.

I almost feel like he’s just resetting stuff in my car to make it drive okay for a bit and hope it stops the issues.

The 5th time I had it back to him – he says, “Um, maybe a mouse got into your engine area and chewed some wires. Maybe not”.

What is with him and all these maybes? I was getting annoyed, and told him that he keeps guessing what’s wrong, and still not fixing the original problem. He asked me to bring the car back again – and he looked at it a 6th time.

This time, he said that day:

“Okay. I know now! It’s a valve. The valve is stuck”. I asked if he was absolutely positive because a real mechanic would have figured it out the first time, instead of changing all these other parts that I don’t even know if I really needed or not. He guaranteed me it’s the valve.

I argued that he guaranteed me it was all the other parts he changed as well.

He stood there in front of me GOOGLING the problems and looked up – as he said, “What could it be?”.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

So, I yelled at him. I felt bad, but I was so angry and bothered that he was googling what it could be – and he was pretty much admitting he didn’t know, so I paid for those other parts for nothing. He was guessing what it was, and the original problem was still going on. Here I was for the 6th time in his shop – and he didn’t know what it was.

He asked me for another day with my car, so he can check it out again and he had the nerve to tell me that it may get “costly”. NO! NO! HELL NO! I am not letting you touch my car again, and that’s what I told him when I was in there for the 6th time.

I let him know I wanted my money back, so I could go to a shop who knows what they’re doing.

A few days before that, I took it to another shop for a 2nd opinion, and I was told that the Timing chain is 3 teeth down and the same thing about the cam shaft that this guy said, and they said if it was changed, it was put on wrong.

Now, I’m left wondering if I paid for a Timing chain that was never changed.

So, I told him about that and what the 2nd shop said. I told him that they said I don’t need a valve like he said. I need the Timing chain done right, and I need a new harness, and this guy – MARIO – never mentioned a new harness, which leads me to believe he has no clue what he’s doing, and he collects money for his guesses – and possibly – for work he never does.

So, yes – I yelled at him.

Not loud, but I raised my voice a bit, and he told me he can’t give my money back because he did the work. I told him that he got paid to fix the issues and he did not!

He looked at the ceiling, laughed and walked to the back.

I kind of giggled thinking, “This man is about to go cut my brake lines for yelling at him!”.

I have been so patient and so kind with him, and I’ve let him have my car – trusting him more than I should have – to fix the original problems, and he didn’t. He couldn’t.

I read a review on his site where some other woman came in, and she was angry as well because half her new parts she had put in before going to him – were all changed to old parts, and he supposedly took her new parts out – and she too – said he was replacing things that there was nothing wrong with, and a few other things.

She warned people about going to him. She said he and his wife seem like good, sweet people – but she thinks they’re running a scam.

So, my car won’t be going back to him, and now it’s a game of figuring out the best shop to get it fixed and how much it’s going to cost for the real issues to be taken care of. I have always thought it was something with the throttle body because I don’t know too much about cars – but I know a little bit here and there amd it seemed like it.

I have a friend in IL. who asked me what was going on with and when I described the issues – he said it sounds like the throttle body accelerator pedal and maybe an engine sensor.

I was just in IL. not too long ago, and part of me really wishes I would have thought about him and taken my car to him. He’s a mechanic, and he’s really good at his job, but – I didn’t think about it until he messaged me asking what’s going on, and I was already back in Minnesota.

He did ask me to go somewhere to have the codes pulled up, and to let him know, and I plan to do that this weekend.

I was happy he mentioned the throttle body because that was my first thought as well.

I should have totally been a mechanic. ha.

So, besides the bunny needing this surgery, so he’s not horny and doesn’t smell anymore – and so he hopefully starts cleaning himself – and these car issues I’m still having – there’s also moving.

My plan was to find somewhere to move to by the beginning or middle of May, so that when my daughter graduates – we have a moving truck in the parking lot, and the moment we come out of that school after graduation – we’re in the car heading to our new place close to – or in – IL. However, it’s so damn tough trying to find a place when you have to travel hours to go look at the places.

So, I plan to get a list of places together by April 20th maybe, and start planning a trip out that way to go look – hoping that my car is fixed by then.

The bunny. The car. Moving. Finding a job out in Wisconsin or IL. wherever we move – it’s all so stressful, and my sanity – is still intact. GO ME! lol.

While I sit here and sip my coffee and think of everything I have on my plate and all the stress that’s upon me right now – I do have to smile and let you know how proud I am of my daughter.

She only needs two more credits to graduate.

One is for her elective class (Teacher’s assistant). She’s been a TA in my son’s room for the last few months and she loves it. She will be done with her credit in her elective – this semester, which means if she decides she doesn’t want to be a TA next semester, she can drop that from her schedule, since she’ll have that one credit she needs.

She needed all 4 semesters of her last English class, so she still has to go for that this semester and next, and after next semester is over, she’ll have her last credit she needs. 🤗

That means – that after this semester is over and she receives her last credit for her (TA) elective class – she only needs her English class.

That means – if she wanted to right now – she could drop all her other classes, and only do TA and English every day, and go to school for those two hours.

That means – once her elective class is over – she only needs English next semester and would only have one class – and can go to school 50 minutes a day and that’s it.

This girl – is taking all these other classes and going to school all day long – for fun.

To see her friends.

To have something to do – as she said.

She doesn’t have to go to school until 11 AM – which would be her TA class, and then her English, and she can come home. However, she actually enjoys going to school – even when she doesn’t need to be there and even when she’s taking these other classes – when she doesn’t have to.

I am so damn proud of her.

She is also now taking a course that OSHA offers – for anyone looking to further their education and have some safety training in their future career. Kailani wants to be an EMT, so she’s taking their class for that.

This girl has been amazing and has worked her ass off to get where she is right now, and she deserves the world. So, I think I mentioned this before – but instead of buying myself Cardi B. tickets when she was in Minnesota for a concert – I brought Kailani Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets to surprise her with – as an early graduation gift.

She wants to go see them so bad, and I’m more than happy to make that happen for her.

I got the tickets already if I didn’t mention that before, and if so – my bad.

She earned it.

💕

Still, I hope we live in IL. or close to it at the time of the concert because it’s at the end of May, and I don’t want to have to worry about getting a hotel room for the night. I just want to go home and relax – unpack – and hear all about how she enjoyed her night – the night of the concert.

Loves.

Pray that everything works out for us, because life is kicking my ass right now, and it’s just me alone doing everything for the kids – the animals – and nothing for myself.

I’m exhausted. I’m drained, but I still feel blessed and have faith.

💕Shel💕

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Shel R.4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
View all responses

Answering today’s WP writing prompt, let me say that I giggled a bit when I read this question.

When I was much younger, blonde and a little thinner – I was in line one day at a Jewel – Osco in Chicago.

Damn, I miss those stores!

I was waiting in line for the girl to ring up all of my items and I was about to pay, when I turned to look behind me and some guy was looking at me. I felt weird, but I looked back again and he was still looking. I smiled politely, and I tried not to look at him a 3rd time.

One of the items I had – was on sale, so the cashier asked if I could give her just a second to run and see if she could find a sale code – to put it in the register for me. I thanked her and told her I’d wait. As I did, the guy behind me who kept looking at me – finally broke his silence.

He says, “Excuse me! Please forgive me for this, but has anyone ever told you that you look just like Shakira?”.

I smiled – because that’s one hell of an amazing compliment, and I told him No. Nobody has ever told me that, but I also thanked him for that.

It made me feel good.

He says, “So, stupid question. You’re not her, then? I was about to ask for a photo and an autograph”. He nervously laughed. I laughed with him and told him I could still be famous one day, but not that day. He told me how pretty I was, and I thanked him again and carried on with my day – smiling the whole way through it. 😁

For the record – I have never thought I looked like Shakira, but it was nice to hear.

She’s crazy beautiful, and I’m – cute, I guess. lol.

I will also say that was a long time ago, and – did I mention that I was much younger? I did. Okay.

Nobody would or could say that to me now. haha.

Shakira – in case you have no clue who she is.

And below – is me – way back in my younger, skinnier, blondie years.

I’ve also been told back then – that I looked like Amanda Bynes.

The way she looked back then – not now.

(Photo taken from Newsweek).

I never thought I looked like her, either, but again – it was nice to hear.

That poor Amanda these days, my heart breaks for her. She was gorgeous back then.

I think that hearing people thought I looked like both of them back in my younger days – was the biggest and best compliments I’ve ever received.

Another me (young, blonde and skinnier) photo – below:

And another….

(By the way, K.C.) – was an old nickname.

In Hawaii – my name is Kila. Pronounced – (Kee-La). C is for my middle name. So, some used to call me K.C.

Do I see any resemblance?

No – but it’s still the best compliments I’ve ever received. 💕

I miss my blonde hair. I miss being as skinny as I once was. I miss being young, dammit!

Anyway, I’m blessed to be here still for 43 – and this year – 44.

Every day the good Lord gives me – is a blessing.

That being said –

I worked my first overnight shift last night at the facility I work in.

It actually wasn’t bad.

During the night – different people would come out of their rooms for different things, or just to come down and chat, but I had no major issues and everyone behaved.

I came home so tired this morning, got my kids ready for school, took them, came back and showered – got ready for another day, and went right back to work.

One of our lead staff was demoted, so I asked my boss if I could take over her position and get promoted. My boss seemed so happy I asked and said she thinks I’d be a wonderful person to take over and that I’d be good for the job.

It comes with higher pay, benefits, more vacation days and other perks, but the only downside – is that my phone would be blowing up. I’d be a supervisor, so I’d be the one my co-workers would then call or send texts to if there’s trouble, if they need help or advice, if they can’t come in and I have to cover their shifts, if there’s any time off requests needed, time adjustments, and so on.

It’s a lot of responsibilities and while I don’t mind – the deal breaker – was me having to work 80 hours per paycheck mandatory – still do my weekends as I’m always on now, and then – BE ON CALL 24/7.

I would basically have no life. No time for myself or my kids. No time to do anything fun because I’d always be at work, dealing with things at work, covering shifts, or just handling calls and texts all day. If there’s an emergency where cops or medics have to come in, I’m dealing with that or going to the job site – no matter what time it is – to figure things out.

I’d be in charge of interviewing and hiring as well. I’d be in charge of deciding who needs to be fired.

I don’t want that hanging over my head.

I was so excited to go meet with my boss today and talk about taking the position – as we sat in the office that would be mine. That’s another thing that I loved. I’d get my own office and can decorate it however I want to.

Still – the thought of working SEVEN days a week and then being on call 24/7 on top of that – isn’t appealing to me. So, there are absolutely some downsides to the position as well.

I could give up my weekends if I wanted to and just do the 5 days a week, but then it also clashes with my kid’s school schedules – not to mention we’re probably moving soon if all goes well as I said before, so I’d feel bad taking the job, and leaving my boss high and dry to find someone totally new and train them in – once I leave.

So, as much as I was excited for a higher position, more pay and benefits, etc. I decided to pass on it.

My boss told me to take some paperwork home, read it over and think about it, but she was honest with me and told me if I didn’t jump on it and take it today, she’d have to keep interviewing for it, and I told her I totally understood. I let her know my concerns with the position, and that if I didn’t take it, I’d still be there for my shifts that I have now, I’d still do my job correctly, and I trust her to hire the best person for the job – who may be okay with all that extra stuff it comes with.

I may be stupid for passing it up because it’s a great opportunity but being a mother as well – I just don’t want to spend my life at work all the time. I enjoy spending time at home and with my kids as well. So, I feel like this position is something for those who have that time to be at work and be on call and go in whenever they are needed.

I am so grateful she thought of me, and that she thought so highly of me to want to give me this position.

She made me smile today when she told me that she watches me with everyone there and that even when I’ve had a bad day, or people are out of control and drunk there – acting stupid – she sees me smiling, joking with them, and handling every situation with love, compassion and grace and that’s what she’s looking for in a Supervisor. 💕

Hell, I’ve written about that lady “Daisy” that I’ve gotten so close to there.

The one who wreaks havoc and gives the place hell when she’s drunk – and how many problems we’ve all had with her. Well, this past week – one of our other lead staff walked up to me and tells me, “You’ve got a – way with Daisy”. She meant that I seem to be able to handle her little bad attitudes and her drunk rampages, and wild behavior, and that I can calm her down, or get her to listen to me.

I smiled and told this other lead staff that there are many times I can easily handle Daisy because I take no shit – and she’s not going to walk all over me when I’m there. I told her that there are many times when yes – Daisy will calm down and listen to me, but I’ve had my fair share of Daisy telling me to get the f*** out of her face, or her telling me to leave her the f*** alone, so it just depends.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

With the clients we work with that live in the facility – it’s all about gaining their trust, getting to know what works with each person individually and what doesn’t – especially if they’re on something or drunk, and knowing how to handle them. I’ve learned their personalities, and I match their personalities with my own – depending on the situations and that’s how I stay calm and handle things.

I would have loved that Supervisor position, and I also think I would have been great at it.

My co-workers would have known that they could message me or come to me for anything, and I’m always going to have their backs, but again – it’s just the schedule and the times – being on call all the time – and the fact that I would feel like I’m living at work – instead of putting time into my family – that made me decide the Supervisor position isn’t for me.

Decisions suck, and it’s hard when you really want something, but it doesn’t align with everything else you have going on in life, and family time.

I’ll still be at the same job, and if we move – it may only be for another month or so, but at least I know that my boss saw so many amazing things in me – that she tried to get me to take the Supervisor position, and I hope a future boss sees it as well.

If you want to laugh a bit with me – My little-itty-bitty – trouble-making Daisy – went to jail.

I’m not laughing that she’s in there. I miss her causing trouble around the place and it’s been boring since she’s been out of the building, but what did make me laugh – is that Monday when I worked – she was drunk and running her mouth to everyone, including my boss.

My boss gave her a lot of fair warnings to be quiet, be good and go back to her room, and she refused.

My boss threatened to call the cops for her disturbances, and Daisy still wouldn’t keep her mouth shut.

At one point, my boss walked away, and I begged Daisy to just go back to her room because my boss was really about to call the cops. My boss heard her yell, “I don’t give a f***! Call the cops. I don’t have any f***in’ warrants!”.

My boss sure the hell did call the cops, and I thought she was pretending at first when I sat next to her and she was talking to “the cops”, but when she got up and walked away – telling me to let her know when they were there, I realized she was so serious.

Daisy made me laugh when she saw the cops and all of a sudden – wanted to go back to her room.

They ended up coming in and trying to talk to her, but she got mouthy with them as well, and they weren’t having it. They already know her, so when the two of them stood on each side of her and grabbed her arms, they told her she’s under arrest and has warrants…..

I stood there wondering……………

DAISY!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to go visit her today, but you have to be on her approved list, and I can’t even get ahold of her to tell her to add me, but maybe tomorrow – I’ll see if I can figure it out.

My overnight shift last night was quiet, especially without Daisy there drunk – and I was up all night with different people coming out of their rooms to keep me busy or keep me company.

As soon as I got there, one of the young ladies asked me for a pregnancy test.

I can say a lot, but that’s not my place, and I just prayed she wasn’t pregnant because while I don’t judge anyone since none of us are perfect – she is not on the right path to have a baby. So, I handed her the test and told her to let me know, because if she was pregnant – I was still going to support her, do whatever I could for her and the baby, and just be someone she could come to if she needed someone to be there.

When she came downstairs at 5 AM this morning with her boyfriend – who also lives there – she held up the test and told me it was negative.

I asked if she was happy with that, and she said yes. So, I let her know I was happy as well.

I told her boyfriend to walk over to the FREE CONDOMS box we have at one of the desks – and grab a couple. I told him to start making it a habit to grab free condoms anytime he’s down there.

When he walked over to the tissue box and grabbed tissues, his girlfriend laughed so hard and asked what he planned to do with those. I joked and told him, “Hey! That works, too! No sex is one way to prevent pregnancy. Do you instead!”. I had them both laughing so much, and he thought for some reason – I told him to grab tissue.

THE TWO DON’T EVEN SOUNDS THE SAME.

CONDOMS. TISSUE. What?!!!!!!!

He stood there looking confused, and his girlfriend and I – couldn’t stop laughing.

I asked her if she was sure this is who she would want as her son or daughters’ father, and she laughed even harder. I went as far as to ask her boyfriend what “2 + 2” is, and when he stood there thinking about it – I was done. I lost it and laughed.

I volunteered to allow him to take the entire box of condoms upstairs. 🤣

This is why I love my job though.

I know I can be tough and firm when fights break out, or someone is beyond drunk and acting goofy, but I also know that I can be myself, joke around and have some good laughs with the people who live there.

Coffee was also my best friend last night – because I haven’t worked any overnight shifts – since I worked in the assisted living down the block a few years ago.

I came home after meeting with my boss – and I knocked out for a few hours.

I laugh because last night at 2 AM, I looked at the clock and realized if I were back in my 20’s – backyard parties would still be going, and I’d be hanging with many friends dancing, laughing, having a great time and now by 10 PM – I’m in bed, reading a book, writing (this is proof) – lol – or listening to music to try to fall asleep.

Still – like I said – I’m grateful for every day and every new year God allows me to see! 🤗

11 PM right now, and I’m going to bed.

I told you!

I shall catch up with all of you tomorrow morning.

Sending so much love and big hugs your way!

💕Shel💕

Changes.

Changes.

Shel R.1 Comment

Loves.

I’ve been neglecting the whole blogging thing.

I’ve been so busy and so tired – trying to get ready for so many new beginnings.

The end and beginnings of new things, actually.

Graduation:

As many of you know, my youngest daughter graduates from high school in a few short months, so we’re in the final stretch of getting ready for that.

She’s been taking yearbook photos, turning in her last major assignments – including a big History project her and her friend just worked on here at our place, and she’s now searching for dresses. One for Winter formal coming up in a few weeks, and one for graduation. 💕

Senior assassin has started, and she made me laugh when she said she’s not going to be “out and about” with me – without her goggles on. Rules are – keep your location ON – (because these Seniors download an app where they can all see each other’s locations), and if they see each other “out and about” and they have goggles on their eyes, they’re considered “safe”.

If they have their goggles around their necks, hanging out of their pockets, in their hands, etc. – any other senior can assassinate them. She kept telling me I needed to get her goggles, and we’re doing that today and then – she’ll turn her location on. I told her she’s cheating, and that’s what she told me.

That she’s not going to be seen “out and about” with no goggles on. lol.

I’m just enjoying these last few months of her being in high school, and I’m not trying to rush anything.

The entire class of 2026 had a graduation song picked out, but after my daughter heard it, I was so proud when she spoke up and said that song had nothing to do with graduating, so another girl asked if they should change it. Many of the class members said yes, and agreed with my daughter, so eventually – after going through different songs, they decided on the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac.

Dude. I cried in my living room when she told me that, and she laughed at me.

That’s one song that always makes me cry, and knowing it’s going to be played at her graduation – I’m going to lose it. Anyone want to donate boxes of tissue? lmao. Kidding! I’ll already have a bunch of tissues with me.

That part where it says, “Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ – ’cause I’ve built my whole life around you, but time makes you bolder, children get older, and I’m getting older, too!” – gets me every time.

For so many years – I’ve built my whole life around my kids, and now that they’re getting older, I know eventually – I’ll have to find “me” again, and who I am.

So, as we prepare for graduation and do everything she has to do before that day – my mama heart is so happy and excited for that day coming up, and my mama heart is a little sad because I remember when we moved to Minnesota and she started 7th grade here. I look at her pictures of when she was growing up, and my mama heart remembers every single memory from every single photo in her younger years.

She just made “A honor roll” for 2nd quarter and she was on it for the 1st quarter as well.

I’m so proud of the young lady she is becoming, who she wants to be in the future, and all the goals and plans she has for herself after high school.

There’s a trend on TIKTOK going around where it says, “So proud of my daughter because her high school years look so different than mine”, and I smile at that trend. In high school – at the age of 17, I was pregnant with my first child and had my first child at 18. Kailani at 17 – doesn’t want any kids until she’s older, is talking about becoming a paramedic, and moving to California one day.

She didn’t follow in my footsteps, and I’m so happy because of that. She did so much better than I did in high school, and she didn’t make the same mistakes, so it does my mama heart good that she is becoming so successful. 🤗

As she finishes high school, picks her college or certification program after and becomes who she wants to be in life, it’s bitter-sweet to see her getting older, growing so fast, maturing and doing so many great things.

With that being said, I will also say that I’m so proud of me for getting two college degrees in Criminal Justice (Associate and Bachelors) – and while I didn’t get to fly to Vegas for my graduations, I do plan to purchase the cap and gown soon, take my honors tassels I was sent, get my National Society of Leadership and Success gear, and hire a photographer to take some graduation photos for me, because I didn’t do that, either.

I want to.

I think it’d be fun and it’s something I can cherish for life.

Photos my kids can cherish and look at – to be proud of their mom when I’m no longer here on this earth.

To know that if I was able to finish two degrees as a single working mom with bills and all the craziness of life – they could and should aim just as high and do many great things in this life, because if I can do it, they can too!

So, yes – I want that college graduate photo shoot soon – maybe this summer – and hell, maybe if I order my cap and gown now from the college I graduated from, my youngest daughter and I – can decorate our caps together.

Maybe we can take graduation photos together.

******

New place:

With my daughter about to graduate, I’m also looking for a new place and getting ready to get out of this small-little town.

That too – is going to be bitter-sweet, but as much as my heart and mind have battled about staying here or getting the hell out of here, I know we have to get the hell out of here.

I’ve said this before.

There’s no variety of anything here. No variety of food places, no fun activities for families, no great job opportunities – especially not in my field.

My daughter hates going into the stores we do have because this place is so small – everyone knows everyone or everyone is related to everyone and she hates running into people from school. My older son misses all his friends back home and he’s been in a bit of a depression since we lost my oldest child, and he has nobody to hang out with here. He’s made a few friends, but they weren’t the best, so he’s ready to get the hell out of here.

Not to mention – that there’s really no jobs for him out here – where he can advance and really do well.

It’s mostly fast food, a few small grocery stores, and retail, and he wants to do something else at the age of 23.

Me? I’m lost out here.

I miss my friends and family, familiar places back home and not having to drive hours and hours for good stores, good food and fun things to do. I’m tired of wasting gas and going miles and miles for the doctor or hospital, and main stores. So, it will be a blessing to move somewhere bigger and better – and somewhere a little closer to home – where everything and everyone is closer.

I did tell my landlord we will probably be out by the end of May because rent is going up here in the building, and while he’s already raised rent for others, he has kept mine the same because of the fact that he knows I want to be out of here when my daughter graduates. So, when I signed my new lease, we agreed he would do the lease until May and keep me at the same price – but if I wanted to stay and ended up being here in June, it would go up to $1,000 a month like everyone else.

This building is NOT worth that much monthly, and nothing is updated. Nothing gets fixed right away, and I’ve had so many issues in this building, it’s time to go.

He messaged me today and asked if I think I can be out by May 1st, because he found someone to take the apartment. I told him my daughter doesn’t graduate until the end of May. He messaged me back and said he’ll tell the people they can move in – June 1st then.

I laughed because NEVER did I say we were definitely moving, and I know he doesn’t like to have empty apartments here, so he tries to fill them as fast as he can, but he never even asked if I was sure I was moving – before he “found someone to take the apartment”.

Yes, we will be out because trust me when I say – I’ve never been happier to leave a place – than I am leaving this one, but at the same time – it holds so many great and fun memories, that I will cry when the apartment is empty and we’re on to new beginnings and new memories in a new place this year. 🥺 This is the last place I saw my oldest child before she was killed.

We celebrated her 21st birthday in this apartment. She drew a smiley face on the wall that night and I haven’t touched it.

We’ve had many great Christmas’s here, and late-night talks in the kitchen when my kids and I couldn’t sleep and we just laughed so much together in the middle of the night.

This apartment holds a piece of my heart, and although I’ll be so happy to see the moving truck in the driveway and the last items going into the truck to get the hell out of here, I plan to ask to have 5 minutes alone in here – and just let out all the emotions of leaving the place we’ve lived in – for 6 years now.

All the memories and good times. All the funny moments. All the laughter.

Saying goodbye to somewhere you’ve lived for so long is never easy – and while you know it’s the best thing for you and your family, it’s still so hard to do.

As the time approaches to the day that I know I’ll stand in each empty room and cry, I am so thankful for every moment we’ve had here.

I was telling a friend today about the landlord already having new people ready to take over June 1st, and that I didn’t even give him a full answer if I was moving or not, and we laughed about it, but she made a good point. She told me, “Shel, you’ve been fighting with yourself about if you’re making the right choice moving or not, and maybe this is God’s way of pushing you out of there – to somewhere better”. I agree. Maybe.

I’m a little scared. I must admit.

So many changes are about to happen, and I just pray God guides us and makes every decision I make for me and my kids – great ones.

I can only hope I’m doing the right thing by getting us out of Minnesota and somewhere closer to home. Around those we love and know. Around places we love and know. Am I going directly back into Chicago? Absolutely not, but am I going closer? Totally. Wisconsin / IL. border is perfect, and I just hope that our new place – our new lives there – are beautiful.

I’ve been looking for a place recently because the first thing I want to do when taxes come in – is drop the money on a place I love, so little by little – we can start taking our things we don’t need or use right now – to the new place, and so when my daughter does graduate – we already have a place to move to, and that will be one thing off my mind.

*****

New Niece:

I must also tell you all that my new niece was born last month.

Her mother did name her “Ella” like her and my brother planned before they broke up, and she’s the cutest thing.

If I did mention that in another post already, my bad. If not – there ya go!

I feel like she looks just like my brother, but just to be sure – since this girl refuses to talk to my brother – he did hire a lawyer to the whole DNA testing and to make sure he has visitations with his daughter.

Hell, I want to message this girl and tell her, “Let me see my niece!”. However, I know it has to be done the legal way, and I’m not trying to get my brother in any kind of trouble or issues with this girl. If it is his kid, I hope I get to see her soon, and with me being closer to home this summer if all goes well, I look forward to babysitting, seeing my niece often, and being in her life.

I hope and pray that my brother gets to be in her life – even if his ex wants nothing to do with him.

I look forward to seeing my nephews and taking them more, and I know for sure that my brother’s ex-wife (different woman) – will be more than happy to get a break and hand my nephews over to me. 🤗

Being an Auntie of possibly three now – that’s another new change and I’m excited about that.

*****

New career:

With the new opportunities that I feel like moving somewhere bigger is going to bring, I’m excited to start looking for jobs in Probation.

I have no idea if that’s the direction God will bring me in, but I also know so many other places and people that have connections to get me in wherever I decide to go. I know that my degrees, my knowledge, my skills, my experience – will lead me to the right job as well, and I leave it in God’s hands.

Even if I don’t end up doing my dream job of probation – wherever I go, I just want to know I’m making a difference in lives of those who don’t have anyone, who need help, or someone to care – and that I can do whatever I can to make them feel loved and cared for. That I can help them change their lives.

Even if I can’t save them all. 💕

So, I’m looking forward to many more opportunities than there are out here, and to a new career – even though – again, it’s going to be bitter-sweet to leave where I am now because I’ve gotten to know and love all of my tenants at my job, and they love the heck out of me and my son – who also works there with me.

I do plan to give my number to some of them, so they can keep in touch, call me whenever they’re having a tough time or just want to talk, and to keep in contact with them to know how they’re all doing.

I’m going to miss them dearly when I move.

I hate getting attached to people.

The goodbyes are always heartbreaking.

Some changes are great, and some are great – AND sad.

but………………………….

When I tell you that I’m so much looking forward to family saying, “Come on over”, and I can say, “Be there in an hour or so” – I totally mean that. When friends call and say they’re coming over, or “let’s go do something fun”, I can say, “Let’s go!”, and mean that. I do look forward to being around those I’ve missed for so long and haven’t seen in forever.

And yet again…

Leaving those I’ve met in Minnesota that have become such a huge part of my life – is tough.

I’ve met some amazing people out here, and I hope and pray we all keep in contact, and maybe I’ll come back and visit them here once-in-a-while.

There’s so many things that are going to break me and make me cry when I leave this small town, and there’s so many things that are going to make me smile when I move closer to home – that all these changes are like a Win-lose situation. Ah.

I hate changes sometimes, but again – they can be so beautiful as well.

So, there’s lots of changes coming and I just hope everything goes smoothly.

****Laugh with me****

Other than all the changes – my car was finally fixed. Yes, Maggie got taken care of.

I took the car in last week after months of issues with it and fining out it was the Timing chain, a sensor and Spark plugs.

I got it back the same day, and it was running beautifully for that day and the next, but when I went to pick the kids up from school, it sounded like it started, and whenever I hit the “push to start” button, it kept sounding like it restarted, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. I could put it into different gears, and it wouldn’t do anything.

It smelled highly of gasoline, and the battery light was on, and that wasn’t on before I sent it for service.

I called the mechanic who did the Timing chain, sensor and Spark plugs, and he came right over because he’s only a few blocks down.

He lifted the hood, checked it out and told me – (while kind of laughing) – “Your Fuel Pump went” …………………..(and he made an exploding sound with his mouth).

EXCUSE ME, SIR?!

First of all, it’s not funny, so why are you smirking? 2nd, YOU did the work, so what did you mess up that my fuel pump is bad now?

I wasn’t blaming him. You know I use humor in bad situations, and it helps me not scream my lungs out. ha.

Humor helps me keep my sanity. lol.

I joked that he did the work, and I wondered if he messed it up, so I’d have to come back and give him more money.

He said he has no idea why, but it came off or wasn’t connected, and he ended up connecting it or whatever he did and said it should be fine now. He said I may need a new fuel pump eventually, maybe not. It may be a fuel leak, maybe not. It is – or it isn’t?!!!! It needs to be replaced, or it doesn’t.

I don’t want to hear all those “maybes”.

He said if I had any further issues, bring it back – but now my check engine light is on. So, I have to bring it back to him anyway, but the car is running so much better than it was before the Timing chain and all the other stuff was taken care of, and for that – I’m grateful.

I just pray it’s nothing else, because I don’t need any more headaches with this damn car.

Maybe I just need to marry a mechanic.

You have to laugh and keep your sense of humor or life will drive you crazy.

In other news….

My older son has taken to calling me “Little Rockstar” now. lmfao.

I have no idea why or how that started, but I guess it’s because I do so much, and rock it – make things look so easy – and handle my business both at work and at home. He has started saying things like, “You got this, Little Rockstar”, or “You go Little Rockstar”. He’ll say things like, “I know you can do this, Little Rockstar!”, and “Look at you go, Little Rockstar!”.

He makes me laugh every time he says something with Little Rockstar in it, but it also makes me smile because it’s his own little personal nickname for me now. 😁 I don’t mind it!

If I had a bad day or I’m just venting, he’ll say, “You’ll be alright, Little Rockstar”.

Besides humor, my kids totally keep me sane and make me want to keep going.

OKAY, OKAY.

I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time to write – mostly because I’m trying to figure out and handle all these changes that are about to happen, and making sure everything is paid, taken care of, and good before my daughter graduates and we move.

Life is about to get crazy the next few months – more than it already has been – and I’m trusting God to handle it all with me.

That’s really all that’s been happening around here.

My little guy had the nurse call me from school today because he wanted medicine since he’s sick, and the nurse wanted to make sure it was okay to give him something, and my daughter called me from school because she forgot her glasses, so I had to run those up.

Besides changes and parenting – I have nothing big going on – then again – those are big, aren’t they?!

Oh wait – wait – wait…..

I tried dating.

Yes, I did.

After such a long time – I tried to dip my toes into the dating pool again, and it sucked.

I met a guy I actually loved talking to, and he was constantly messaging me, and he was great at communicating – however – he was only 28. I’m 43. He said he didn’t care about my age, and that his last girlfriend was 41. I told him I have kids, and with him not having kids – I didn’t want him to feel burdened by mine if he ever met them, especially because my son is 23, so he’s only a few years older than my oldest son. He’s only 2 years older than what my oldest kiddo would have been if she was still alive. So, I felt awkward. He – didn’t care about any of that age stuff, or the fact that I have kids.

He was fine with all of it.

He then said he works, but that he does live with his parents.

I think that’s another thing that bothered me. Him still living with his parents, which means if I ever wanted to go to his place – there’s really no privacy, and I asked if his parents would be okay with him bringing home a 43-year-old that has kids. He said his parents would just be happy he met someone, and they’re happy – if he’s happy. He said they met his ex-girlfriend, and they didn’t care that she was 41. He said his mom and dad got along great with her, and she had kids as well, so no – they wouldn’t mind me or my kids.

I still felt awkward.

I tried so hard to continue to talk to him, but my older son and I were talking about it, and I was surprised when my older son heard his age and told me, “So what? If he’s a good guy – what’s the worst that can happen? You have yourself a good boyfriend? OH NO!”. Yes, my son was being sarcastic, and he really didn’t care that this guy was only 28 – as long as I was finally happy with someone.

When I told him that this guy still lives with his parents, that was the deal-breaker for my son.

He said that’s a different story, and then he had me laughing when he said he’s 23 – and one thing he doesn’t want – is to be 28 and still living at home with me. My son always says if he’s not out by 25, I need to kick him out. ha.

So, eventually – I decided to part ways with this guy I was talking to, and I will say that he may have been a great guy – (I didn’t stick around to find out) – but if he was 28 and living alone – I may have felt better. I would have totally felt better if he was in his 30’s. I can do 30’s, but 28 was a little weird for me, and him living with his parents at 28 – even more so. I think it’s just the fact that I’m older and living alone with my kids, so I want someone who has their own place as well.

Let me say that there is nothing wrong with living with your parents still at any age because so many people need to go back home. This economy isn’t built for one income and trust me – I know that first-hand, so while I was understanding about him living at home still, he also didn’t seem to have any plans to get out on his own any time soon – which I think is what really bothered me – as well as the age thing.

He didn’t seem motivated to get out.

Not to mention that he had no kids, and I didn’t want him to feel tied down to mine. I think it would have been different if maybe he had a kid or two because then he knows how parenting goes. What really did it for me – was the fact that I mentioned one night that I was out having dinner with friends, and that I planned to have a drink or two when I got home (just a glass of wine) – and he asked why I was having a drink on a Tuesday night – BEFORE BED – like he was monitoring me.

I just felt like it wasn’t a good match, I wished him well, and I hope he finds his person.

Maybe I’m the problem.

Maybe I’m picky. Maybe I should have looked past all of that and gave him a chance? Idk.

Anyway – if you’re still here reading this, much love to you and pray that all the decisions and all the changes in the next few months – will go perfect for me and my little family. 💕

I want my mom.

I want to call her and ask her advice. Tell her everything on my mind. Have her tell me, “Everything will be okay”.

*Insert scream here*

This is the part of trusting God that nobody talks about.

XOXO.

💕Shel💕

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

Shel R.6 Comments

So, how did everyone’s New Years Eve go?

Mine was laid back and chill.

I grabbed pizza for the kids before I came home, and I planned to get a bottle of wine for myself, but I actually skipped that.

The kids ate and my sons were in bed early, so they knocked out and I didn’t even wake them up for the ball drop, or anything. I let them sleep, because as long as they were warm, safe and peaceful – if they wanted to bring in the NEW YEAR with snores – I was all good with that. 😁 My daughter and I stayed up the whole time watching the NEW YORK events, performers, people, and then what we thought – was going to be the ball drop.

Anyone else disappointed we didn’t get to see that?

After the countdown – the view went to the crowd and confetti.

I think many people have mentioned something about not seeing it, and how odd that was.

Either way – we then watched the little bit of LIVE streaming Chicago had going on for their first ever ball drop, and we were disappointed to know that while (Chance the Rapper) was hosting it and performing a bit, he wasn’t seen much from what people in Chi-town are saying. Still, I heard the fireworks were beautiful and the city was peaceful that night. ❤️

I heard a few other music artists were down there as well. The ones who are from Chi.

Many years back – Chance the Rapper – donated a good amount of money to some Chicago area schools, and one of them – was my older daughter’s school – (Benito Juarez Community academy HS) – in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood. My older daughter still went there at the time, so she was so excited to tell people that her school was one of them on the list.

I’ll always have love for Chance – and any other rapper / artist who decides to give back to their cities that they came from.

Once we watched the celebrations in NY and Chicago, and they were over – Kailani and I wished each other a Happy New Year, and we both went to our rooms and knocked out.

No selfies that night. No loud music. No wine.

Just living in the moment and relaxing.

She did have to make it known – as soon as the New Year hit – that she will be “graduating this year”, and She will be turning 18. I’m a little sad about that, but we’ll deal with that when those two major events roll around.

So…..

Did you make any resolutions for 2026?

Let me share some of mine.

Weight loss:

I’ve been on this journey for years now, and I keep messing it up.

This year, it has to be taken seriously because I’ll be 44, and my kids need me to stick around a lot longer.

I’m not young anymore, and if I want to be there for them for many more years, this is one way to guarantee it.

When I lived in Chicago and then moved to Minnesota, I was slim. I was active. I enjoyed working out and being on the move all the time.

When my oldest child was taken from this earth, that’s when things got bad. Really bad.

I stopped working out. I wasn’t active for a long time, because I just wanted to be in bed all day.

I would shower, go to work, and do nothing after.

I wasn’t eating right. I was drinking. I was depressed, angry, confused, and had so many questions that I’d never get the answers to. Things got bad for years, and I just didn’t care, so instead of cooking homemade meals like I used to and doing things outdoors, or going places – I’d pick up fast food, eat, and go to sleep.

I’d take care of my kids of course. Took them to school, helped with homework, made sure they ate meals, made sure laundry was done and the house was clean all the time, but – other than what I had to do – there was no working out, or taking care of “being fit” because my oldest was gone. I didn’t have a will to live, or to care about me. So, I gained weight, and kept gaining because I wasn’t active anymore, and I was eating whatever, drinking whatever. Sleeping for hours.

In 2025 – I promised myself it’s time to get back to the old me. The me who worked out. Who was active. Who didn’t even have time to eat because I was making so much money and had dreams / goals, and ambitions.

2025 – just helped me heal a little more, and to finally accept that my oldest was gone, and I’ll never get those answers I felt like I needed. That I wanted. That I struggled so hard to get from whatever happened that night she was killed. 2025 – I knew I needed to get back on my “A-GAME” and get my money right – get my fitness back together – and make sure I was taking care of me as well – because I have kids, and you can’t pour from an empty glass, right?

I was drained for years. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

2025 – taught me that I’ve been down and out for too long, and it was time to get my ass back to God, and to get back on my feet after years of struggling with depression, anger, and a pain no parent should ever have to go through.

2026 – THIS YEAR – This is for me. This comeback is personal. This year – I’m doing everything I plan to do, and that includes getting fit again. Eating better. Thinking better. Living better.

Okay, so we have an event tomorrow and my kids made me promise them McDonald’s after. 🤣

And – we still have leftover Christmas cookies. So, I promised myself that on the 4th – I was going to plug in the treadmill that usually holds clean clothes that need to be hung up when they come out of the dryer – and I am going to get my ass on there every day – maybe twice a day.

I said I was going to go for more walks, drink more water, and eat right this year.

I’m going to 100% get out of this funk I’ve been in for years now and get back to the me that I was when I lived in Chicago, and when I first moved here.

I do need to lose this weight I gained over the years, and while some people will look at me and tell me I’m crazy or there’s not much to lose, I can see it and feel it, and I want it gone. So, that’s a goal I plan to accomplish this year. To at least – get back down to what I was when I packed up my life in IL. and moved to MN.

For anyone trying to do the same – let me also say that while it’s NOT easy trying to eat right, exercise and lose weight – cheat days are okay, as long as you only have ONE of them here and there, and it’s okay to NOT exercise everyday – as long as when the next day comes – you get up and go at it again. 😊

Moving to civilization:

Another 2026 New Years resolution I have – is to move my kids and I – closer to civilization.

The little town we live in is dead. I mean – dead. dead.

We don’t have much around here, and everything is usually closed down by 8 PM or earlier.

Everyone is in each other’s business. If you do something, people are going to know before you blink an eye.

Gossip travels fast.

Everyone knows everyone or is related to everyone.

Last names matter here.

This little town is boring and there’s not much to do, unless you want to drive miles and miles away, hours and hours away, and have to travel back home again.

In the nearest bigger “town” – we have two or five of everything.

There’s no variety of anything here.

We have two McDonald’s. Two Burger Kings. Three Starbucks. FOUR Caribou coffees, and a bunch of random pizza places all within 5-10 minutes of each other. We have a bunch of banks, and car washes, but nothing really for kids to do.

No real stores. We have everything on repeat, and our mall is just as dead as these towns.

In Chicago, there were so many good food places, and a huge variety of cultural choices.

In Chicago, there are tons of stores upon stores of different kinds, and they’re all so close together and you don’t have to travel miles or hours to find something for the kids to do. There are tons of places for kids to go in IL.

I thought I wanted the country life – until I got it – and was hit with the reality of it. ha.

Now – I know why people leave small country towns for bigger cities.

So, in the next two months – I plan to buy a bunch of bins, pack up everything we don’t use right now or need out, and put them in these bins. I plan to stack them up in a corner somewhere and get rid of things we don’t want to keep or need. I plan to have the kids do the same in their bedrooms and get rid of what they don’t need or want, pack up things they’re taking with us when we move, and get everything ready.

In April – I plan to start looking for work near a place in Wisconsin – closer to IL. or – in a suburb near my aunt and uncles in IL. because I love it there, and drop the money on a place, so when my youngest daughter graduates, there’s a moving truck in the parking lot and we already have a place to move to.

We are so ready to get out of here and get back to a variety of food places – (although I don’t need that while trying to hit my weight loss goal), a variety of stores, and things to do. We’re ready to get back to being closer to friends and family. We’re so ready to get back to places being open late, or 24 hours in some spots. We’re so ready to be where there’s better job opportunities, and more money.

We’re just ready to go.

So – this month and next – are going to be filled with packing and cleaning up the apartment we’re in now, and April – will be the month of searching for a place and dropping money on it – so when May comes, we’re starting over – somewhere else, and leaving 6 long years in Minnesota – in the dust.

I think the first year of this place was our happiest, and after that – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into moving to this small town. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, I love hearing the cows next door “moo” when I open the windows and they’re out. Yes, I love hearing the gunshots when it’s hunting season, but – I’m just ready to be around the familiar places, people, and things I grew up with back home.

No, I don’t want to move directly into Chicago, but yes, it will be nice to be at least an hour from family and friends – and not almost 10 hours.

So, that’s a resolution of mine this year.

Getting the hell out of dodge and going back towards who and what we know.

Career:

There are no career opportunities where we are now, and one of my biggest New Years resolutions – is to be offered a job as a probation officer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I had a probation officer – which is a story for another time.

Since then – I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to become one and help other juveniles change their lives – like she helped me. Like many people just like her – including a few cops I met along the way – helped me.

Oddly enough, they don’t need probation officers in our little area – even though there are plenty of kids who are in need of one, but we only have a few.

I was so excited the beginning of this year when I was still in school for my BA degree in Criminal Justice, and I applied for and was offered an internship for probation, but – because my school and the county needed to create a contract for me to do this, and it took forever – I was graduating before I ever got to do the internship. I was literally a few weeks away from graduation when a contract was finally set, but by then – it was too late because the internship would go towards my credits and I already had those.

I was bummed, but hopefully – knowing there’s so many career opportunities in bigger cities I’ve been looking into moving to – maybe it will finally happen for me.

If not, at least there’s more opportunities for other positions in the field I went to school for.

I love the job I have now – dealing with those who were once homeless, who are alcoholics, drug addicts, have mental health issues, etc. but – it’s not my dream career and the pay sucks. I do it because I love it, and I love the people, but it’s not forever.

Stepping into my dream career for 2026 – is a goal of mine.

Debts:

This year is going to be the year that I will work two or three jobs if I have to – or pick up a side hustle – to get myself debt – free. I don’t have a lot of debt, but I do plan to pay off my car and trade it in this year to treat myself to a little graduation gift – since I completed both degrees over the last 4 years and haven’t done anything nice for myself to celebrate both degrees.

This year is going to be the year that I work my ass off and pay off whatever I need to – to make sure that my only debt – is my new SUV if I get one, a mortgage if I’m able to drop some money on a house this year or next, and my basic bills. I don’t think that’s too much to set as a goal, is it?! This year is the year that I don’t want to worry about any finances, and I just want to live my best life with my kids.

This is the year that I want to do more traveling, see more places, and do more things with them.

This is the year I want to say, “Yes – I have extra money. Let’s go out this weekend!” and really mean it!

I want all my debts cleared, and I don’t want to worry about anything this year, except what the kids and I are doing on my days off.

God:

A good friend of mine and I were talking a while back and we both decided to start reading the BIBLE more this year. To really study it and write down our favorite quotes and scriptures, stories, lessons, etc. and not just read it – but REALLY read it and focus on it. We plan to talk about it, share our thoughts with each other, and make it our “go-to” when life is kicking our asses.

We both said our souls are a mess and we need to get right with God. lol.

We found it hilarious yesterday when I left her a message saying, “Get your Bible ready. This is our year. We said we were going to do this”, and I told her what I plan to do, and without listening to my message – she sent me almost the same thing, so we took it as a sign that God is up there like, “Let’s go girls! It’s time!”. haha.

I feel like this year, I need to trust God more and stop trying to run everything.

These are just some of my goals for the year. Some of my New Years reslutions.

What are yours?

If you want to hear a funny story about God – let me share this with you before I get out of here. 😁

On Christmas Eve, my son got paid and asked if he could use my car to do some last-minute shopping and run a few places. I let him, but because my car needs work – I told him not to go far.

He was headed to the nearest bigger city 30 minutes away, and I got a phone call from my daughter. She went with him.

I answered and I heard a police officer loud and clear in the background but couldn’t hear what he was saying or what was going on. My heart dropped!

You know my oldest was killed in a car accident, and now my other two children just took my car – and I get a call and just hear the cop talking. Finally, I heard my son say, “Is mom on the phone?”. My daughter said yeah, and she said, “Hello?”. I kept saying hello before she said her first hello, and I was so relieved to hear both of their voices. I asked her what was going on. She said she had me on speaker, and that they got pulled over.

I was so grateful it was just that and that they didn’t get into an accident or hit a deer.

I was so grateful they were both okay.

The officer got on the phone and said the reason he pulled my son over – was because the tabs were expired.

I told him the car has been giving issues, so I try not to drive it a lot, but I just ordered the new tabs online and that I have the insurance on my phone if he wanted me to send proof to my daughter, so she could show him. He said that would be great, so I did.

He gave my son a warning about driving without the new tabs and the insurance card on him, and he let them go.

My son came back home, and they told me that the officer told him that I also have to take the cross I have – off my rearview mirror. He said it’s an “obstruction to view”. It’s a small cross that says, “For he will command his angels to guard you in all your ways”.

I told Frankie it’s not coming down.

Frankie (my older son) asked if I was seriously going to leave it up. I sure am!

He asked what I was going to do if that same cop stops me next time and tells me the same thing.

Me to said cop if it happens: “That battle is between you and God when you get up there, but it’s not going anywhere. I’ll take the ticket, but don’t cry when you have to answer to that man up there when you meet him”. 😁

I had my kids laughing, but I thought it was funny.

Good Lord, I’m just glad they are okay because I panicked that day.

I have to get out of here and get ready to start my day, but you all have a beautiful weekend…

and I love you!

❤️Shel❤️

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

Shel R.Leave a comment

A few nights ago, I couldn’t sleep.

A friend of mine had told me about a cute movie she watched and wanted me to check out, so – since I couldn’t sleep and she knows I like different Christmas movies around this time of year, I watched the one she suggested.

I’m not sure if it’s streaming anywhere else, but I watched it on YouTube.

It seemed like a Hallmark movie, and I’m not really a Hallmark movie – kind of gal, but I actually like this movie.

You have to pay attention to really know what’s going on, but I recommend it if you’re looking for something cute to watch. ❤️

It has some great actors / actresses, such as Paul Walker and Robin Williams (God rest their souls), Susan Sarandon, Penelope Cruz, Chaz Palminteri, and others.

Paul Walker plays a super jealous and controlling cop, who doesn’t want any man around his fiancé or even looking at her, and she’s ready to leave him if he doesn’t change his crazy ways. She truly does love him and wants everything to work out – especially because it’s Christmas, and she doesn’t want to leave him during Christmas.

Susan Sarandon’s mother is battling Alzheimer’s / Dementia and won’t eat, and while she loves spending time with her mom every year, things are getting worse, and it’s become an awful Christmas for her – watching her mother go through all of this, as she watches the man across the hall from her mother’s room – fight for his life.

There’s an elderly man in this movie who is obsessed with Paul Walker’s character and at first – the movie makes it seem likes he’s gay and wants to be with “Mike” – (Paul’s character), but that’s not the case at all, and it made me cry when I found out why he’s so obsessed with Mike.

What Mike does for this man to heal his heart and soul – teaches him something about himself and his own jealousy and the way he’s acting with his fiancé.

The movie is good. I’d watch it again.

So, when I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago, that’s what I watched, and I enjoyed it.

If you watch it, let me know what you think.

*****

In other news, my son and I had our very first work meeting this week.

I work all week long and on the weekends. My son just works the weekends with me, but this meeting was mandatory for most staff.

We got updates on some of our tenants in the building. We got updates on whatever we needed to know. We talked about different things, the work Christmas party next week, things that need to be done during shifts, and so on.

Staff was able to voice our thoughts, ideas, concerns, etc.

My son and I stayed quiet because again, this was our first meeting since working at this facility and we just wanted to take it all in, see what goes on in these meetings, and who says what.

One thing that did make me want to speak up and go against something – was when one of my older co-workers said something about possibly putting up a sign that says nobody can hang out in the hallways because she’s tired of kicking people out of the halls, and nobody listens. They keep doing it anyway. If there’s a sign saying they can’t – maybe, they’ll finally understand it.

I disagreed with that because it’s winter. It’s freezing outside, and sometimes the weather is -10, -20, -30 – out here, and kicking people out in the cold, just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s not the kind of person I am and it’s not the way my heart is. Not to mention that while I’m on my shift, or my son and I are both working together – we don’t care if people are hanging out in the hallways because they’re safe, they’re warm, and they live in the building – WE DON’T! So, for us to kick them out of any part of their home – when we just work in this facility – doesn’t sit right with us.

I wanted to say all of that, but I didn’t.

I knew that if my boss agreed to put a sign up saying they can’t hang out in the hallways, and we still let them – (because I was still going to let them), it would be mixed signals because different staff let them do different things, and we wouldn’t all be on the same page.

Here’s the thing.

The facility I work in – as I said before – houses people who are homeless or were once homeless before they were accepted into this facility. It’s a big building and they each have their own little apartments.

This facility houses not only homeless people, but also alcoholics and those with drug addictions, and mental health issues. This facility houses some criminals who committed different minor crimes and have nowhere to go after their release, or those who have no family / friends to go to. We have people from all walks of life in this facility, and they lean on each other. They’re friends with each other. They enjoy hanging out with and seeing each other, because for some of them – the people who live there, are all they have.

The problem is – there’s two sides to this huge building.

There’s the side where the tenants are more independent, can work, go do whatever they please, come and go, etc. as long as they stay out of trouble and follow the rules of their leases, and of the facility. Then, there’s the side where people are more dependent, need alcohol portion control, are dealing with withdrawals, dealing with mental health things, and just need more care, and compassion.

The staff office – is right in the middle of both sides, so both sides can come and talk to the staff, or get what they need, but both sides are locked – and these tenants know that one side can’t go to the other sides lobby. So they call each other from the lobby phones, meet outside, or – in these hallways they have right by the office if it’s cold outside like it has been.

During the meeting, when my older co-worker asked if a sign can be placed, I was so happy when my boss said she’s on the fence about doing that, and she feels different about it.

She said as long as they’re not causing problems, fighting or drinking in the hallways, and as long as they’re not blocking the way to get in and out – it doesn’t bother her. She said she would much rather have them hanging out in the hallways safe and warm – than to be out and about wherever they’ll find to go to be warm and hang out and possibly get into trouble while they’re out and about.

She said she’d rather deal with them in the halls, than having the police calling the building saying, “Hey, you need to come get your guy”, or have one of them out and about drinking, and freeze to death.

I absolutely agreed with my boss, and I loved that she spoke up and said something because I was on the same page as my boss.

I was happy when the Case manager chimed in and said a sign probably wouldn’t matter anyway, because many of the people who live in the facility have had a “F*** You” attitude since they were little, and all they’re going to do – is become combative and give attitude if there’s a sign. They’re doing that now if they get kicked out of the hallways. So, it’s probably not even worth it.

I agreed with that as well.

It’s all about picking and choosing your battles and kicking them out of hallways of somewhere THEY LIVE – as I said – it’s not right.

I also wanted to speak up when one of the lead staff – said something about how people also aren’t allowed to be in the hallways if they don’t live here and just want to come in to warm up because they live on the streets. She said if that’s the case, they have TWO MINUTES to warm up, and get out, or – we can “slowly” help them fill out a housing application, and then – they have to go.

Part of me so badly wanted to kind of joke – but kind of seriously tell her, “You better hope you get into heaven when you die, and God doesn’t just give you TWO MINUTES to look around and tell you that you have to go!”.

I was so mad. I couldn’t believe how heartless she sounded. I wish I would have said something, but again, I didn’t, because I knew I wasn’t going to follow her TWO MINUTE RULLE anyway, and I was so proud of my boss and so happy when she spoke up again and said for her – it would be different.

She said for her being a human – she knows what she would want someone to do for her if she were in that same position, and if someone comes in off the streets to get warm, she will treat them like another human. She said she wouldn’t care if they slept in the hallways if that meant they have a warm place to be – even for one night. She said she’d offer a pair of warm gloves, a hat, whatever we have for whenever they want to leave, and one of my other co-workers mentioned giving them a cup of hot coffee.

YES!!!!!!

That’s how it should be!!!!!

If I’m ever at work and a homeless person comes in and needs to warm up, I’m grabbing that cup of coffee for them, having them sit down by our heaters, pulling up a chair next to them, and letting them keep me company as we chat, because I don’t have the heart for that “TWO MINUTES” crap. My boss said she’d much rather get in trouble by the higher up’s or whoever – for being a good person, than to have to treat another human like they’re below her, and I loved that!

Same.

Last week – I gave some of our “good gloves” at work to a few of the people who live there, and my son said something about how he thinks they’re Christmas gifts for those who ask for it on their wish lists.

First of all – gloves should not be on a WISH LIST. They should automatically be given out because that’s something that’s NEEDED in this weather, so if those gloves sitting in the closet were for the wish list – and I get in trouble for giving them out to people who NEED them, I’ll deal with that and take it with a smile.

My boss said in the meeting – that she’d back us up no matter what we decided to do in any situation, and that we have to use our best judgements and our common human sense. If I get in trouble for letting people hang out in the hallways to stay warm and safe, O-well. If I get in trouble for doing good things for people who live there, O-well. If I get in trouble if some homeless person comes in off the streets and wants to sleep in the halls to stay warm – O-well.

I know my boss will back me up, and that’s what matters. She has the same good heart I do.

I was bothered that this other lead staff literally sat there joking about her little TWO MINUTE rule, and they have to go. She had a smile on her face and said if they don’t live here, they don’t belong there and that’s it.

My face while she was talking – was something like:

My son tried not to laugh because he knew I was mad.

It takes ZERO EFFORT OR DOLLARS to be a good human being, and she doesn’t seem like she’s it.

After the meeting, I shared my concerns with my boss and I let her know – one on one – that I’m not kicking nobody out if they need to get warm, and that I don’t care who hangs out in the hallways if they’re not fighting, drinking or causing issues. She agreed with me, and again – I’m glad she backs me and the idea of being a good person – up.

I can’t promise I’ll stay quiet in future meetings, but I will say that from now on – I plan to stand up for what’s right and what’s wrong.

I love my job, and when it comes to rules and policies, I’ll follow them to an extent. When it comes to being a good person, helping others, showing love – compassion and kindness – I’ll bend the rules and policies if I have to, and I won’t apologize for it. 😶 There’s some circumstances where it’s okay to say, “We’re not supposed to do this, but….”.

So, my son and I survived our first work meeting – despite me having to bite my tongue and stay quiet on certain things I disagreed with or wanted to speak up on.

*****

On my side of this small little town, I’m just working, counting down the months until my daughter graduates’ high school and we can move.

I’m starting to get rid of things we don’t use, need or want – so packing will be faster and a little easier, and trying to STILL get graduation photos done, things turned in on time for her deadlines, etc. We’ve done some graduation photos, and she doesn’t like them, so we’re going to try again this weekend and by Tuesday of next week, everything should be turned in for the yearbooks and deadlines.

That’s a lot, right?! MAMA NEEDS A FEW NAPS. ha.

Today is my little guy’s Christmas concert at school and I’m looking forward to that.

He told me if I cry, he’s just going to “pretend” to sing, and not really sing. lol.

I work this weekend. I work next week. We were supposed to go to Illinois the end of this month for a few days to be with family, but I have things to do, to catch up on, and I just can’t.

Besides all of that….

Let me share how awesome my older son is!

I had to run to the store yesterday for a new pair of jeans and a new pair of shoes.

He offered to pay for my shoes. I told him I have the money, and he replied with, “I know, but I wanted to get you a Christmas gift from Amazon, and it won’t arrive on time, so let me just buy you the shoes you want”. I told him I wasn’t getting anything fancy right now because it’s winter, but he insisted – so, I let him. He called it my early Christmas gift, and I’m okay with that. 😁❤️

He really is a great kid!

After we ran to a few stores and grabbed Starbucks, we were on the way home and I felt my car driving a little bumpy. I pulled over and asked my son to check my tires, and when he did – he shook his head.

I knew I had a flat. I was so irritated because I’m a single mom. It’s almost Christmas. I have other things to buy or pay, and now I have to get a new tire on top of it???!!!

I couldn’t help it, and I was so stressed, drained and irritated – that I cried.

I didn’t just cry. I sat in the car and sobbed. Big tears. I was a wreck.

I saw this a few weeks back and didn’t think much of it until yesterday when I needed a new tire – on top of everything else going on, and I thought about this again.

I just laid my head back on my headrest, looked up and wondered what the hell God is doing up there, and why I just can’t feel like I’m getting ahead of anything.

My son was calm.

He changed my tire to the spare, and I was able to make it to the tire shop I always go to whenever I need tire work done.

I’m pretty sure I need an alignment, but they couldn’t do it yesterday, so I have to go back and that’s even more money.

$167 I didn’t plan to spend on the tire, and just like that – more money gone.

You know what I want for Christmas? A F***IN’ DAY WHERE EVERYTHING IS PAID, I DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE, I HAVE A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE, I’M BORED OUT OF MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, AND LIFE IS GOOD!

I’m sure that’s the wish of every single mama out there though.

Hell, I’m sure that’s the wish of every person dealing with anything right now.

Listen. I’m blessed that God still has me on this earth with my kids, and my other three kids here on this earth with me, so I can’t really complain.

Other than that, I don’t have much else going on right now.

I just dyed my hair.

I know I said I wasn’t going to do that.

My silver / gray was showing through my dark brown / black hair, and I wanted to see how it would look if I finally fully went silver / gray. My daughter said it looked pretty cool, but with my son’s Christmas concert in a bit, I decided to go in with cut hair and a new color. 😊

Have a beautiful day loves!

❤️Shel❤️

Because – Snow.

Because – Snow.

Shel R.1 Comment

I’m beginning to think God has a timer up there, and at 4 PM exactly – every day – it goes off and releases SNOW!

I swear – the last week or so, every day like clockwork, same time – it’s snowing.

Last night was no different. It started snowing as soon as I headed to Target at 4 PM.

It got bad really fast, and the drive home – 30 minutes back to my little itty-bitty town – was awful.

This is the time of year where Minnesota people get to play, “Hey, where’d the lines go?”, or “Am I on the right side of the road?” – depending on what you want to call it. ha.

Today, was a little better – since crews cleared the roads pretty quickly for the AM drivers, and I got to work with no issues.

What I didn’t know – was that more heavy and nasty snow was expected today, but this time – it started around 1 PM or so. We had a meeting at work, and after the meeting, I sat at the front desk – looking out at the snow as it started.

Around 1:20 PM, my boss sat next to me and we were chatting, as I told her my kids are getting out of school early due to the predicted snowstorm getting worse, and my older son was picking them up. She asked if I knew anything about the other schools up by my job closing early, and I told her I just knew the school in our town was letting the kids out early, but that I didn’t have to get them because my son was.

I got the email, the call, and the text for it.

She suddenly said, “Let me go make some calls”. I thought she was going to call and see if schools up that way where I work – were closing early because maybe she knew kids who go there or adults who work in those schools, but 10 minutes later, as I stood in the middle of the office – she came and stood next to me and said, “I called Jayla. She’s coming in early, so you can get out of here. I know you’ve got a long drive back and the roads are getting nasty. I want you to get home safe”. Jayla is one of my younger co-workers, and she came in for me.

I didn’t even ask my boss if I could leave early, but the fact that she thought about me driving all the way back to my little town in this weather and released me early – shows what kind of boss she is and I’m so grateful for her. 😊Another one of my co-workers took off as well, and I believe my boss did some of her work and was planning to leave early herself – since she has a pretty long drive home.

I will say that the ride home wasn’t too bad, and the plows were out doing their jobs, but the fact that I feel “snowed in” – sort of sucks. I wanted to be out and about doing Christmas shopping, and getting some errands done, but it is nice being home relaxing at the same time.

The school is starting two hours late tomorrow if nothing changes, but of course – the kids are praying it just closes.

I’m off the next few days, so I don’t have to worry about traveling.

I thought the snow was going to miss us this year or that we’d have a mild, chill winter because as of late November – we didn’t have much snow, but I guess that’s changing. 🙄

So, I plan to maybe get my little dude off his video games the next few days – for once and go use the sled I got him a while back – that he hasn’t touched. Snow angels? Yes. Snowman? Yes. I want to do it all. Heck – maybe a hot chocolate run and photos by the lake where the beautiful Christmas lights are all up and the area near the lake is all decorated. Why not?!

*****

My daughter and I were there yesterday – where we planned to take some of her Senior photos because the deadline is fast approaching and we have to get these done, and one turned in for the yearbook. We took some really cute ones, but she didn’t like them, so we have to go do them again.

I absolutely love this one:

She does, too! Unfortunately, we need a photo for the yearbook – where she’s looking up, and she didn’t like the ones we took.

It started snowing bad last night, so we just came home and decided to try again this week.

Plus, this was inside one of the decorations, and I’d like to get the outside during dusk – where we could make it a little “nicer”.

Just when I thought we were about to get these Senior photos done, Senior quote, Senior wills, etc. – turn those in and be done with everything, I got an email about the Senior class rings. Those are $400+ depending on designs, etc.

When they say Senior year is expensive – they’re not lying!!!!

******

If you want to giggle though – my daughter has liked this boy that I’ll call “Kyle” – for the longest.

She decided to take Psychology this year just for fun. Maybe not just for fun – because she plans to become an EMT / Paramedic in the future, and sometimes they deal with mental health and things Psych related, so she will probably use what she learns one day.

This boy Kyle joined Psychology recently, and she doesn’t know why because she says all he does is play around, sleep, and doesn’t pay attention.

My daughter actually likes this class, and when she found out a few days ago that this boy Kyle is now dating a girl she used to be friends with, she dropped Psychology. She felt like if this girl joined Psychology to be in class with this Kyle kid – my daughter didn’t want to deal with that.

I thought it was goofy that she was dropping a class because of a boy or some girl he was dating that may or may not join the class, but she said she was going to join the Yearbook committee instead. She gets a free yearbook if she’s on the committee, so I was all for that. One less cost I have to pay. So, I supported her decision to drop Psychology and go be on the yearbook committee if it made her happy, less stressed out over this young man and worrying about his girlfriend joining that class.

I supported her wanting to make the change of classes.

I told her do what she felt she needed to do – even if I thought letting some girl run her out of that class – was insane. The girl hadn’t even joined the class yet, nor did we know if she was going to.

Last night, my daughter was upset that she dropped that class without thinking. She said when she found out Kyle and her old friend were dating, she just felt sick, and didn’t want to see them together if this girl did join the class, but now – she could care less and she feels like she’ll miss Psychology. She said she’s not going to let Kyle or her old friend dating – run her out of a class she loves, and she’s just going to deal with it if this girl joins that class.

After her going back and forth about if she should just stay in Psychology or not – especially after her main teacher switched her to the yearbook committee when she asked the other day – I looked at her last night like:

“You need to make up your mind, kid!”.

She decided to stay in Psych, and I was so proud of her for not letting this boy she likes or the girl now dating him – keep her from a class she truly does love and enjoys learning in.

Today, she told her main teacher she’ll just stay in Psych, and I’m sure she’s driving him crazy, too! Still – he’s amazing with her and he switched her back to Psychology.

I giggled about the whole thing.

I did tell her that when she graduates – she may look back on these few years and wonder what the hell she was thinking when it comes to this kid, Kyle. I told her about some of my crushes back in high school and how I look back now and wonder the same.

People change. Feelings change, and years from now – this boy Kyle and this girl he’s dating now – may not even remember each other’s last names and they may go their own ways after graduation, so I’m truly happy my daughter didn’t let this class go – because of them.

I think it’s good for her and her future career.

Teenagers make me laugh with their little puppy love relationships.

I remember those days back in high school.

Matter of fact – one of my really good friends from high school and I – we were talking the other day about guys we had crushes on in high school, and when she heard I had a crush on this boy Anthony back in high school, she laughed at me and did the whole, “Ewwww. What was wrong with you?” (Shame game). lol. I look back now, and I laugh about it myself.

I found out she had a crush on this one guy we went to high school with, and I did the same. We totally had different taste in our guys, but we laughed about the guys we once crushed on in high school, and I hope my daughter can look back and do the same – with laughter and humor about it.

There is one really good young man at the school that I wouldn’t mind my daughter dating.

I’ll call him “Brandon”.

Brandon has really liked my daughter since she started there in 8th grade, and every time school let out, he’d be outside yelling, “BYE, KAILANI!” – so loud – that everyone heard him and looked at him. Daily. It was the cutest thing and I’d tell her, “Say bye to that boy!”. She never wanted to. 🤣

He still likes her. He still talks to her. I still wish she’d give him a chance.

A few days ago, when she was telling me about this boy she likes – dating her old good friend now, she looked up at the sky and said, “God, if you have another guy up there who is good and will treat me right, please send him my way!”. I laughed and told her, “HE DID!!! YOU KEEP FRIEND ZONING HIM!”.

(I was talking about Brandon).

She’s 17. She’s allowed to date now, as long as it’s the right kind of boy and he treats her right, but I’m also not in a hurry for her to date, and I told her to make sure that her graduation is her main focus. She’s a great kid, and she has all her credits so far, and she’s so close to finishing the last ones she needs – so, I’m not worried. Still, I want her to make dating a last priority.

In other news –

We’re almost through the holidays and Christmas will be here soon.

I’ve been finishing up Christmas shopping for the kids. I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m doing for dinner Christmas day. I’ve been trying to get cute little goody bags together for Elijah’s class and putting together gifts for his teacher. I’ve been trying to save for and plan a trip back home to Illinois for Christmas to see my aunt and uncle, and possibly one of my cousins, his wife and son – at the end of this month.

I can’t wait until Christmas is over and I can sit down with a glass or two of wine – relax and wait until New Years eve to get this year over with.

I’m counting down the days until we can pack up the moving truck, turn over the keys to the apartment we’re in now, and leave this small town.

Will we miss it? Sure. It’s been home for the last 5 years, but it’s not really “home”. Illinois is.

While we don’t want to move back to Chicago, we’ve been looking at some places at lease closer to it.

Closer to civilization, more varieties of stores and food places. Closer to friends and family we left behind when we moved to Minnesota years ago.

I’ve been looking for houses in Wisconsin – close to the Illinois border, and some houses in the suburbs of Illinois.

I think when we move, I’ll most miss the very little traffic we have here. I’ll miss the amazing people I’ve met here in Minnesota. I’ll miss going to have coffee with one of my good friends who I’ve become close to here. I’ll miss the school for sure and everyone in it.

I’ll miss the residents I have gotten close to in the facility I work in.

I’ll miss the beautiful night sky that shows the stars so brightly because there’s no tall buildings and no streetlights to stop them from shining brightly.

I’ll miss all the beautiful lakes.

I’ll miss all the good times we had in this apartment and around Minnesota.

So, yes – I’ll miss this place, but I’m also okay if I never see it again. ha.

I won’t miss how gossip spreads so fast here and how everyone is in each other’s business.

I won’t miss the lack of food spots, or stores. The dead mall where nobody goes anymore.

I won’t miss the 30-minute drives to the nearest bigger city and home, or how everything is miles or hours away.

I won’t miss struggling to not hit the deer on super dark roads with no lights at night.

I won’t miss the snow that falls in October sometimes.

I won’t miss the -30, -45-degree weather.

I won’t miss this building I live in, and all the craziness that comes with it.

I will miss the fact that this is the last place I saw my oldest child alive and well, but other than the things I will miss here – I’m ready to get the hell out of here once my youngest daughter graduates.

ESPECIALLY – for a better chance at my dream career.

I’ve been looking and I’ve found some amazing houses – but who knows if they’ll be available when I’m ready? Part of me wants to try to buy a house in early February / March, so when we’re ready to move, we have somewhere set already, but part of me can’t afford rent and a mortgage.

This economy has me walking around like:

haha.

Seriously though – part of me feels like I need to start investing in something, and part of me feels like this economy is NOT “single mama friendly”.

I trust God, and his plan and that’s all I can do.

Ah. I just felt like writing tonight, and I’m about to head to bed because it’s only 8:30, but this mama is tired.

Maybe I’ll go finish reading CAUGHT UP.

If you haven’t read that book yet, it’s great, but you have to read – (LIGHTS OUT) – first, so you can understand (CAUGHT UP) and the relationships between the characters. Both books are by the amazing author “NAVESSA ALLEN”. ❤️ I’ll write about them as soon as I finish Caught up. I’m in the middle of it, and just haven’t had the time to finish because I’m always at work, or running errands, etc.

I just found out from a friend that Navessa now has a 3rd book, “GAME ON!”. Hold on girl. Let me get through the 2nd book. 😁

I like to buy and read books off of Kindle. It’s just easier.

So, let me sign off for the night, open my phone and try to finish this book.

I love you all. Stay warm if it’s cold where you are. Be safe. Behave, and Goodnight.

❤️Shel❤️