Tag: graduation

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

“It happens”, A horny bunny, car issues, a fun concert and other chats.

Shel R.5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
View all responses

To answer today’s WP writing prompt question………………..

I want the words “It happens” – in memory of my oldest daughter – with Angel wings, the time of her birth and the time of her death.

I don’t want the dates on there because I don’t want to remember the date of her death.

I’d rather see the time she was born – that made me a mother, and the time of her death (the hour she got to meet God and felt peace).

“It happens” – represents the very last hilarious memory we had together.

*****

I was near Minneapolis the day before the “it happens” incident – for a dentist appointment and I stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

I live 4 hours from Minneapolis, so it was a long drive and I was starving.

I ended up leaving my debit card at Wendy’s, so when I called them – I was told that the manager has it in the safe, and if I brought my I.D. in the next day, he’d hand it over. I needed my debit card the next day, so early in the morning – I’m talking (5 AM) early – I got ready to drive all that way to go get my card.

My Tiffie “Jordan” found out and asked if she could come with me. She lived across the hall at the time, and I told her to be ready.

She loved long car rides, and she was ready before I was.

My youngest daughter rode with us as well.

On the way back, we were all so tired from waking up earlier that morning, so we were quiet driving home.

My oldest was in the passenger seat and she randomly said, “The Tile shop” – as she was looking out of the window.

I looked over, saw the Tile shop, and replied, “It happens!”.

I have no idea why I said that, but I was so tired – it just came out for no reason.

My daughter was so confused, looked over at me and says, “Wwwwhaaattt? Why would you say that? That didn’t require a response”. 🤣 We all started laughing so hard. Literally, we had tears in our eyes because we couldn’t stop laughing.

She kept mocking me and saying, “It happens!”, and then said “The tile shop. It happens!” – joking that it could be their new motto / jingle. She said “it happens” made no sense, and we just kept laughing. Eventually, she had to tell me to stop because I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t drive straight, but that’s what made that moment even more hilarious.

I’m sitting here laughing right now – not able to drink my coffee because I still recall how much we were laughing – at that moment.

It went on for at least 10 minutes, and when we stopped – one of us would say it again, “The tile shop. It happens!”, and we’d all start laughing again.

We decided at that moment – that as soon as my youngest daughter turned 18, we’d each go get matching “It happens” tattoos.

I don’t know if my youngest daughter still wants to do that or not, and Tiffie “Jordan” has passed on – but it’s a tattoo that I plan to get for myself – because it’s a reminder not only of our last hilarious memory with my oldest that day – but – of the fact that life happens, and doesn’t stop or slow down for anyone – even in grief.

And now – I’m crying as I write this part.

For me, “It happens” – is both a great memory months before she passed, and a reminder that there’s things in life I can’t control, and I just have to shrug my shoulders, say “It happens” and trust God to take care of those things. “It happens” can be both – a funny memory and a sad reminder that things do happen and life has to go on.

So, for me – I want the tattoo – as a reminder of both meanings.

My next tattoo:

Again – with the time of her birth and the time of her death.

💕

I also want to eventually get a memorial tattoo a little more meaningful, but I haven’t figured that out yet.

I have different ideas.

As for where I’d put it, still not sure of that, either – but it’s happening. It happens. ha.

*****

Anyway, let me share some updates.

The landlord finally sold the building.

He had new roofs put on last week, and the lady who helps him with the property and I – were kind of talking and I realized that he probably accepted an offer, and one of the conditions of the purchase – was that he put new roofs on the garage and building.

I would have asked for those garages to be torn down and rebuilt if I were buying this place, but either way – I’m hoping the new people are good. I’m hoping they’re not a “put a band-aid on it and call it a day” people – like our landlord was.

Everyone got notices on their doors yesterday – stating that as of today – we have new owners.

It said they have to honor all leases until leases end, and that they will be reaching out to introduce themselves. Not sure if it’s in email, person or by phone. It also said they will let everyone know how to pay April rent, and I’m hoping we can pay online, because I was so tired of using VENMO or money orders to send rent to our last landlord.

Still, even if I move soon – I’m happy the people living here – have new owners for the building because while I don’t think our last landlord was a bad guy, I do think he wasn’t the best landlord.

The bunny:

My daughter’s bunny stinks!

Really bad.

I kept telling her to clean the cage, because I thought it was the bedding or that she wasn’t changing it, and she kept telling me she cleans his cage out all the time.

We went back and forth for weeks on it, and I kept buying her different bedding to see which one worked best for the smell, and no matter how many times she changed the bedding or cleaned the cage and scrubbed it down – I’d go in her room, and it smelled like hell in there, and I still thought it was the cage.

She insisted it was the bunny. I told her there’s no way the bunny smells like that.

So, I gave in and took the bunny to the vet last week, and upon getting close to the small transport cage he was in, I smelled the bunny. The smell was coming from the bunny. I just looked at my daughter and yelled, “OH MY GOD!”. She said, “See! I told you it was him!”.

The vet did a full exam and some lab work, and the lab work looked good, so when she came back into the room to talk to us, she said the problem was simple.

She told my daughter to cover her ears (joking around of course!).

The vet looked at me and told me, “The bunny is horny!”.

I looked at her like:

And laughed.

“You’re joking, right?” – I said.

She said this is common and when male bunnies get horny and want some – they don’t wash themselves like they should or like they’re supposed to be.

They stop taking care of themselves because the smellier the bunny – the more they attract female bunnies.

She then adds to it and tells me that he’ll hump whatever he can in his cage and when he ejaculates – it sticks to his fur in the back and his testicles. 🙄 That in return – is making parts of his bedding stick to his testicles because he’s all sticky and nasty, and because he’s not cleaning himself because he wants to attract a female bunny – that’s all coming together and creating that awful smell on him.

I rolled my eyes, and asked what could be done.

She said it’s easily fixable in BUCKS. I didn’t even know they call male bunnies – BUCKS.

I thought that was just for male deer.

Them not cleaning themselves and making themselves smell like that – asserts maturity and dominance according to the vet, and in the wild – will attract a female bunny.

Maybe I should have done more research before walking into a pet store and thinking a bunny would be adorable for my daughter after she lost her bird a few years back.

So now – this bunny is maturing, and he’s horny – which is causing all these other issues and the smell.

He’s nasty and unsanitary! That’s what he is. He’s doing it for attention from a female bunny as I said, and he doesn’t realize his dumbass is an inside bunny and there’s no female bunnies around. Nor – will there ever be! Sorry for ya – Looney! Dammit, Looney! Yes, that’s his name.

My daughter thinks this is hilarious.

I ($600 later) do not!

So, the plan? To get the $600 together to have his testicles removed, remove all the sticky parts of his bottom from him ejaculating on himself and getting his bedding stuck to it as well – which obviously requires surgery and him to be put under – so he doesn’t try to get away and hurt himself during surgery.

His ears need to be cleaned also. Again, he’s not cleaning himself like he should be – for the simple and stupid fact that he doesn’t understand he’s an indoor bunny.

Some people I’ve told this story to – laugh so much when I tell it – and they suggested I get a female bunny because it would be cheaper than surgery for our male bunny. No thanks!

A female bunny for our male bunny = a bunch of baby bunnies I don’t need or want.

I swear – my life is never boring.

If it’s not something with the kids – it’s one of the animals. If it’s not the kids or the animals – a bill pops up to surprise me or something at work is going on that I have to deal with. If it’s not any of that – my car comes up with a new issue.

Life needs to slow the hell down and let me just sit and breath for a minute!

But it doesn’t stop there.

Want to talk about my car?! Let’s do that!

So, if you remember and you read my blogs pretty regularly – (Thank you first of all) – 2nd – you’ll know my car has been giving me problems.

The EPC and check engine light have been on in the last few months.

The RPM needle goes crazy sometimes and bounces around on its own.

This causes my engine to shake like crazy and my car to make this loud, awful noise.

My car feels like it wants to shut off or take off – either one – by itself. It feels like it wants to accelerate on its own sometimes.

When I’m parked and the car is on – it rattles and sometimes – it feels weird driving when I step on the gas.

Now, I like to support small businesses, and if a small business is amazing and gives great customer service, I’ll promote them everywhere and anywhere for free. I’ll tell the world about them – to help them grow their business.

However, if customer service is awful, and they do nothing to fix the issue or make it right – I’m also going to let people know that they should go elsewhere.

Now, everyone has different experiences with different places, so I can only tell what happened to me and it’s their choice to go try the business out or take my advice and go elsewhere.

Anyway – I’ll call this guy “Mario”, although – I should put him on blast, but that’s not the kind of person I am.

I took my car to Mario’s shop months ago and explained the issues. He saw the issues for himself when he got in my car, looked under my hood and saw / heard everything that was going on.

“It’s an easy fix. It’s the Spark plug! You have a bad one!”. Mario told me.

“Great! Let’s get that ordered and taken care of!”. I told Mario.

I was grateful it wasn’t anything big (Or – so I thought!).

He changed the Spark plug the same day, and I left.

$100 later – and my car was good for a day and then started doing the same exact things all over again and I realized Mario was wrong. So, I took the car back, told him it wasn’t a Spark plug, and he acted confused, but told me if I give him a few hours with my car to do a “deep dive” – he’d figure it out.

A few weeks later, Mario checked it out and told me, “You need a new Timing chain”. He said something about the Timing chain being bad, and half of it sliding down 3 teeth on Cam shaft bank 1 – or whatever the hell he said. Something like that. lol. I didn’t listen fully, but he also said the other Spark plugs and a sensor also need to be changed.

I asked if that would fix these issues and he said – in his heavy accent, “Yes, yes!”.

Fine. Let’s get those parts ordered and get this all done.

A few months ago – back in January I believe it was – my car was in the shop, and everything was being replaced. His wife was nice enough to drive me home and then pick me up to go back and get my car when it was done – many hours later.

I took it home, drove it and thanked them so much – because it drove beautifully – FOR THAT DAY.

The next day – I went to pick up the kids from school, and my car stated, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. It smelled highly of gas, and I called Mario and let him know. He came right over because his shop is right down the block.

When he looked under the hood – he giggled a bit and told me, “Your fuel pump just went…………..” (and he made the exploding noise with his mouth). Excuse me? Why are you laughing first of all? 2nd – my fuel pump was just fine before you worked on my car.

I didn’t tell him that because I didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but he says, “maybe you need a new fuel pump, but maybe not. Maybe you have a fuel leak, but maybe not”. I do or don’t to all of your “maybe’s” sir. Figure it out! So, he reconnected it and said it should be okay. It’s been okay for now, but who knows if it’s messing up or not. My car was able to be driven that day, but it’s still doing the same exact issues it was doing when it originally went to this guy.

The Spark plug didn’t fix it.

The Timing chain replacement, other Spark plugs being changed and the sensor didn’t fix it. It was back to doing the same things.

I took it back to him again. It also started doing this thing where it jerks forward when I try to drive.

I told him all of that and how none of the things he’s done, has fixed the issues.

The 4th time I took it back to him – he said something just needed to be cleaned from under the hood, so he did that. It drove fine that day.

Still back to the same problems the next day.

I almost feel like he’s just resetting stuff in my car to make it drive okay for a bit and hope it stops the issues.

The 5th time I had it back to him – he says, “Um, maybe a mouse got into your engine area and chewed some wires. Maybe not”.

What is with him and all these maybes? I was getting annoyed, and told him that he keeps guessing what’s wrong, and still not fixing the original problem. He asked me to bring the car back again – and he looked at it a 6th time.

This time, he said that day:

“Okay. I know now! It’s a valve. The valve is stuck”. I asked if he was absolutely positive because a real mechanic would have figured it out the first time, instead of changing all these other parts that I don’t even know if I really needed or not. He guaranteed me it’s the valve.

I argued that he guaranteed me it was all the other parts he changed as well.

He stood there in front of me GOOGLING the problems and looked up – as he said, “What could it be?”.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

So, I yelled at him. I felt bad, but I was so angry and bothered that he was googling what it could be – and he was pretty much admitting he didn’t know, so I paid for those other parts for nothing. He was guessing what it was, and the original problem was still going on. Here I was for the 6th time in his shop – and he didn’t know what it was.

He asked me for another day with my car, so he can check it out again and he had the nerve to tell me that it may get “costly”. NO! NO! HELL NO! I am not letting you touch my car again, and that’s what I told him when I was in there for the 6th time.

I let him know I wanted my money back, so I could go to a shop who knows what they’re doing.

A few days before that, I took it to another shop for a 2nd opinion, and I was told that the Timing chain is 3 teeth down and the same thing about the cam shaft that this guy said, and they said if it was changed, it was put on wrong.

Now, I’m left wondering if I paid for a Timing chain that was never changed.

So, I told him about that and what the 2nd shop said. I told him that they said I don’t need a valve like he said. I need the Timing chain done right, and I need a new harness, and this guy – MARIO – never mentioned a new harness, which leads me to believe he has no clue what he’s doing, and he collects money for his guesses – and possibly – for work he never does.

So, yes – I yelled at him.

Not loud, but I raised my voice a bit, and he told me he can’t give my money back because he did the work. I told him that he got paid to fix the issues and he did not!

He looked at the ceiling, laughed and walked to the back.

I kind of giggled thinking, “This man is about to go cut my brake lines for yelling at him!”.

I have been so patient and so kind with him, and I’ve let him have my car – trusting him more than I should have – to fix the original problems, and he didn’t. He couldn’t.

I read a review on his site where some other woman came in, and she was angry as well because half her new parts she had put in before going to him – were all changed to old parts, and he supposedly took her new parts out – and she too – said he was replacing things that there was nothing wrong with, and a few other things.

She warned people about going to him. She said he and his wife seem like good, sweet people – but she thinks they’re running a scam.

So, my car won’t be going back to him, and now it’s a game of figuring out the best shop to get it fixed and how much it’s going to cost for the real issues to be taken care of. I have always thought it was something with the throttle body because I don’t know too much about cars – but I know a little bit here and there amd it seemed like it.

I have a friend in IL. who asked me what was going on with and when I described the issues – he said it sounds like the throttle body accelerator pedal and maybe an engine sensor.

I was just in IL. not too long ago, and part of me really wishes I would have thought about him and taken my car to him. He’s a mechanic, and he’s really good at his job, but – I didn’t think about it until he messaged me asking what’s going on, and I was already back in Minnesota.

He did ask me to go somewhere to have the codes pulled up, and to let him know, and I plan to do that this weekend.

I was happy he mentioned the throttle body because that was my first thought as well.

I should have totally been a mechanic. ha.

So, besides the bunny needing this surgery, so he’s not horny and doesn’t smell anymore – and so he hopefully starts cleaning himself – and these car issues I’m still having – there’s also moving.

My plan was to find somewhere to move to by the beginning or middle of May, so that when my daughter graduates – we have a moving truck in the parking lot, and the moment we come out of that school after graduation – we’re in the car heading to our new place close to – or in – IL. However, it’s so damn tough trying to find a place when you have to travel hours to go look at the places.

So, I plan to get a list of places together by April 20th maybe, and start planning a trip out that way to go look – hoping that my car is fixed by then.

The bunny. The car. Moving. Finding a job out in Wisconsin or IL. wherever we move – it’s all so stressful, and my sanity – is still intact. GO ME! lol.

While I sit here and sip my coffee and think of everything I have on my plate and all the stress that’s upon me right now – I do have to smile and let you know how proud I am of my daughter.

She only needs two more credits to graduate.

One is for her elective class (Teacher’s assistant). She’s been a TA in my son’s room for the last few months and she loves it. She will be done with her credit in her elective – this semester, which means if she decides she doesn’t want to be a TA next semester, she can drop that from her schedule, since she’ll have that one credit she needs.

She needed all 4 semesters of her last English class, so she still has to go for that this semester and next, and after next semester is over, she’ll have her last credit she needs. 🤗

That means – that after this semester is over and she receives her last credit for her (TA) elective class – she only needs her English class.

That means – if she wanted to right now – she could drop all her other classes, and only do TA and English every day, and go to school for those two hours.

That means – once her elective class is over – she only needs English next semester and would only have one class – and can go to school 50 minutes a day and that’s it.

This girl – is taking all these other classes and going to school all day long – for fun.

To see her friends.

To have something to do – as she said.

She doesn’t have to go to school until 11 AM – which would be her TA class, and then her English, and she can come home. However, she actually enjoys going to school – even when she doesn’t need to be there and even when she’s taking these other classes – when she doesn’t have to.

I am so damn proud of her.

She is also now taking a course that OSHA offers – for anyone looking to further their education and have some safety training in their future career. Kailani wants to be an EMT, so she’s taking their class for that.

This girl has been amazing and has worked her ass off to get where she is right now, and she deserves the world. So, I think I mentioned this before – but instead of buying myself Cardi B. tickets when she was in Minnesota for a concert – I brought Kailani Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets to surprise her with – as an early graduation gift.

She wants to go see them so bad, and I’m more than happy to make that happen for her.

I got the tickets already if I didn’t mention that before, and if so – my bad.

She earned it.

💕

Still, I hope we live in IL. or close to it at the time of the concert because it’s at the end of May, and I don’t want to have to worry about getting a hotel room for the night. I just want to go home and relax – unpack – and hear all about how she enjoyed her night – the night of the concert.

Loves.

Pray that everything works out for us, because life is kicking my ass right now, and it’s just me alone doing everything for the kids – the animals – and nothing for myself.

I’m exhausted. I’m drained, but I still feel blessed and have faith.

💕Shel💕

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

Shel R.6 Comments

I must apologize for my lack of writing lately.

I’ve been so busy.

Between searching for our new home, getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, and work – life has been kicking my ass.

I’ve also been helping several other teenagers with their work that many of them are behind on. (My daughter’s friends).

I want to see them all graduate and they’re all like my own kids. Many of them call me “Mom”, and have for years, so I don’t mind helping them. I want to see them walk across the stage, just like I can’t wait to see my daughter do so.

Letters went out a few weeks ago – after the Dean of students met with all of the Seniors and went over their credits and plans after high school. These letters either told parents that their students are not on track to graduation and need to make up credits, as well as the work they need to make up – or – parents got letters that their child *IS* on track to graduation, has their credits needed, or is close to it.

My daughter is one of those on track to graduate, and she has more credits than needed, but still needs 1/2 credit in Building trades – which she’ll get this semester, and one in English – which she’ll also get. So, she’s doing great and I am so proud!

Still, her friends that received letters that they needed credit recovery and are not on the path to graduation, I’ve offered my help and told my daughter, “Have them bring their binders of work or whatever they have to do – over to our house if they need help”.

I have a friend who told me she admires me because no matter what I have on my own plate or what I’m dealing with – no matter what I have on my mind – I’m still opening my home to these teenagers and offering a hot meal when they’re here, my help with their work, and rides from school and back home when they leave.

I just see it as something I have to do – to make sure none of my daughter’s friends are left behind, and I love when they come to me for help. They know I’m going to help if their parents can’t or won’t, and they know my home is safe, clean, and they’re allowed to grab snacks, pop, water – whatever they want, while getting the help they need. ❤️

Work:

Work has been hectic, insane, stressful, exhausting, busy and wild.

We have people coming and going. We have all kinds of things going on – some good and some not so good.

We have our people who drink and can’t handle their liquor, so they’re starting fights and making poor choices, or arguing with staff. We have people who are wild and out of control sometimes, and then – we have those who make us laugh and remind us why we love that job so much. 😊

This past weekend – my son and I were told about a fight that happened during the week, and when we watched the cameras, the fight was comical. It was between two men who live in the facility we work in, and the fight started in one of their rooms, and ended up in the hallway – where you could see them both just fall on the floor and lay there – exhausted and drunk.

My son and I played the cameras back and watched the whole fight.

One of my favorite things about that fight – is when ANOTHER guy was telling us about it this past weekend, and he said he had to go “help break up the fight”. I almost laughed right in his face, but I held it back because again – WE WATCHED THE CAMERAS and this other guy was nowhere in those videos breaking up anything. The fight broke up on its own when they wore themselves out and both dropped to the floor to rest but listen – if this other guy wanted us to think he broke up the fight – more power to him.

Another thing we laughed at this weekend – was when one of our other male residents at the facility – said he’s moving out at the end of the month and asked if I’d sign his boobs.

At first – I looked at him like:

Then, he pulled out ceramic boobs that had a bikini top on them, and he asked me again.

He said he wants everyone to sign his boobs before he leaves. 🤣

I told him I’d be more than happy to sign. I grabbed them and wrote, “Good luck! Love, Shel” – with a heart.

He was so happy and thanked me. My son also signed and I tried to help him out by asking others if they’ve signed his boobs yet, and I got the same funny look – that I had on my face when he first asked me, but others laughed – just like I did – when he explained. ha.

He’s the same man who always asks me if I’ll dip my finger in his food before he eats it, and I never know if he’s serious or just joking – and no, I’ve never done it! lol. I’m a good sport about it and I’ll laugh, but I always wonder if he’s serious. No, I’ll never do it – even if he is!

He’s such a sweetheart though. I’m going to miss his silliness when he leaves.

So, I joked with him and made him laugh when I handed his ceramic boobs back – and told him, “Now I can cross SIGNING BOOBS – off my bucket list!”.

Last time I wrote – I also talked about “Daisy”. That feisty little elderly woman who gives a lot of problems sometimes, but over the past few weeks, I’ve shown her nothing but love, compassion, honesty, and respect – and believe me when I tell you – that if you show that to the people in this facility – they usually show it right back and they know who truly cares about them – and who is just there for a paycheck.

They can tell!

I’ve gotten close to Daisy over the last few weeks, and while others see her as a problem or troublemaker, I see her as someone who is hurting, who has been hurt in the past, who has a lot to say and nobody to listen, and who just wants that love and compassion that my son and I show her when we’re there.

She’s a great person if you really get to know her. Not a lot of our staff take the time to show her the love, care, compassion and respect that we have, and I hate to say it – but if they did – they’d change their perspectives about her.

This morning, I was dealing with one issue that was going on – on the 2nd floor, and when I walked up the stairs – as I passed Daisy’s room, I heard her yelling and screaming, so I made a mental note to stop by there as soon as I handled this other situation going on.

When I did, Daisy was grateful to see me, told me she hurt her leg really bad, and needed help putting her shoe on. All day today, I’ve checked on Daisy – did whatever I could for her – and locked up our office a few times – to go take care of Daisy.

Daisy has started calling me, “My girl”. It’s too cute! She’ll say, “How are you doing today, my girl?”, “I’ll see you later, my girl!”.

Today when I was leaving work, she was outside and she yelled, “I love you, my girl. Thank you for everything you do and did for me, Shel”. She never walks away from me now or hangs up if she calls the office – without telling me, “Love you, my girl!”.

I just wish our other staff would take the time to get to really know her, understand her, and communicate with her – like we have.

They see a troublemaker. A problem. A headache. I see an aunt figure. A grandma figure. A lady who just wants to be cared about. ❤️

I have learned that if she is screaming, yelling, cursing or angry about someone – I’m the one who can always get her to smile, calm her down, joke with her – and get her to behave. (At least until my shift is over). lol. We have an understanding, and I think as mothers – she and I share grief because she lost her older son and she shared that story with me, and I shared the story of losing my oldest daughter.

I know that pain!

She’s native, so she found out I want to learn the language and told me I need to come hang out with her when I’m not working.

In fact, everyone in the facility loves my son and I so much – and the love and care we show them – that we’ve been offered to go hang out with a few of them.

Just yesterday when we were almost off of work – one of them called the office and she had a few others in the room with her. They wanted us to come hang out in there when we clocked out. As much as we would have loved to kick back and chill with them – it’s against policy and we had to keep it professional, so we just let them know one of our lead staff was coming in, and we couldn’t do that, but we thanked her and others for the offer.

We’ve been told by many of them that we’re two of the best employees the facility has, and a few of them have loved the fact that no matter what we have on our minds, what’s going on in our personal lives, or how we feel any day we’re at work – we always go in with a smile, use humor to handle situations, and joke around with all of them.

They enjoy that. Even on the days when I work alone and it gets crazy, busy and wild – I joke and smile, because it means a lot to them.

I just found out on yesterday morning – that one of the female residents wanted me to go to a Drag show with her – that had free food and drinks, or promotions going on. She said by the time she came down to invite me to go with her, my shift was over and I was gone. She said she wanted to ask the 2nd shift if they have my phone number, but she felt awkward and didn’t know the facilities rules about that.

She’s one of our coolest residents, and so – I wrote down my number and handed it to her.

Was I supposed to? Probably not, but I think it’s all about knowing who you can trust and know that they won’t cross any boundaries, and who you know you can absolutely NOT give that kind of information to.

I love this job. I’ve said it many times. I love our residents.

Some of them even cook or bake for us. 😁There’s one that has made us brownies and cookies on more than one occasion, and she’ll bring those down for us. Daisy made us fry bread one day, and that was amazing. I’ve had a resident make me a dreamcatcher, and another one who drew me a photo and plans to make me a few Eagle drawings soon.

Again, it’s all about how you treat them because once they know you really do care and this isn’t just for a paycheck – they’re going to look out for you and love you / respect you right back!

I giggled today when Daisy asked me when I’d be back, and I told her I don’t work again until Saturday. She rolled her eyes and told me that’s way too long. I told her I’d be back if someone asked me to cover their shift.

One thing I’ve also learned at this job – is that when something goes down – you have to know how to personally handle each and every person differently, and what works or what doesn’t with each one. We’ve learned that and there’s some people there that my son handles if he’s there, and there’s some people that communicate better with me and I’ll tell him, “I got this!”. The days when I’m alone at work – and it’s just me – I try to handle each situation calmly, and firmly – so they know I’m not messing around, but I also care very much.

I think with a lot of them being addicts or previous addicts, most of them drunk on most days, and dealing with some who are criminals, we always have to be careful, but knowing them personally – and having them respect us – helps us – or at least me – know that sometimes – we have to meet them where they are and talk to them – how they’ll understand.

One couple in the facility recently broke up and the lady asked me to watch her collect her things from her ex-boyfriend’s room. I went upstairs to watch, and I stood in the doorway while she grabbed her things. Her ex-boyfriend wasn’t in there, and I had my back turned – when I heard him come up behind me and yell – TO ME -, “What the F*** are you doing in my room?”. He likes to talk to her like that, and it aggravates many of us, but we try not to say anything. So, I turned to face him and MET HIM ON HIS LEVEL!

I matched his energy.

I calmly – but firmly said, “What the f*** are you doing talking to me like that?”. The look of surprise on his face was priceless, and he lowered his tone. I told him she was getting her things, and he didn’t have much to say after that.

I also joked that I have one foot in his room, and one foot in the hallway, so technically – I’m not really IN his room. He stayed quiet for the most part – the rest of the time she was getting her stuff. Some of them – you just have to meet them on their level and let them know you’re not the one to mess with, and they get it. A lot of them will show respect once they learn they can’t do whatever they want, and if they show us respect, we give it right back – and vice versa.

Could he have knocked me on my ass if he wanted to? Most likely, but I wasn’t going to go down easy, and if I thought he was going to do anything, I may have thought twice, but I know him. I’ve gotten to learn that he’s also hurting and he’s been through a lot, and he needs someone to tell it like it is.

SO, work has been wild the last week or two, and now that the weather is semi getting nicer a bit, it’s going to get even crazier at work, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It keeps us on our toes, and keeps us busy, so time goes by faster.

I have a different approach to different people and situations there, but it works every time. I can joke around and make you laugh, so you communicate with me and do what I’m asking of you or to calm you down, or – I can be tough and firm – but either way, however I approach things – they usually work. I know who I have to be tough and firm with, and those that I can joke with to make a situation go away.

I’m tired.

This job is draining, but still – I’m grateful for it. T

The moving thing …………………..

Don’t even get me started.

I’m so tired of looking for our new place.

I’ve found a few different places I loved, and the internet is full of scams.

I’ve emailed properties – only to get someone message me back and say, “I’m currently in Texas on business, but if you want to send me the deposit, I can show you the house when I get back in two weeks”, blah. blah. blah. I’ve gotten a few of those from people in different states – and then I look up the property on Zillow, and it shows that it’s for sale, or it’s off the marker and an actual family lives there.

It always makes me wonder if they’re aware that people are putting their properties online and scamming other people with it.

I’d never send money online.

I watched a video of some poor girl who was able to go see a house for rent, get the code to the lockbox for the key, and go in to tour the home, so she thought everything was legit – only to send the landlord $5,000 for a few months of rent upfront, and the home was for sale. It wasn’t being rented and this girl just got scammed out of all that money – from some “out of state” landlord claiming he’d be back soon to meet her.

It’s so scary with all of the scams going on now.

If I do find a legit listing – either they don’t allow pets, or it’s a really nice place – but the bedrooms are the size of a small bathroom. If all looks good, I don’t like the kitchen or there’s very little counter and cabinet space, or if a place is perfect – something always throws me off.

Maybe I’m being too picky!

So, I haven’t found the perfect place yet. I know I have to really start looking and going to take a look in person because I want to have something locked and secured by May 1st, but it’s just been a headache. I know damn well I don’t want to stay here in Minnesota, but I also know traveling to see other places is going to be a migraine as well.

I plan to have a list of places to look at, and appointments set before I go anywhere, and still – I’m stalling to pack. I’m stalling to keep looking, and I know I really have to.

I’ve been doing that almost every day – besides work, helping teens get work done, and getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, so it’s all been slamming me, and I haven’t had time to write.

Loves….

I miss you all so much.

I’ll catch up tomorrow.

My laptop battery is dying, and I have to be up early.

Sweet dreams.

❤️Shel❤️

My dream home (WP writing prompt), and a few other things.

My dream home (WP writing prompt), and a few other things.

Shel R.9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.
View all responses

That’s not hard to do at all.

Today’s WP writing prompt is to describe my dream home.

I just talked to a realtor yesterday about this, because I’m looking to buy in the near future, and I’ve had a team of people I plan to work with when I’m ready.

I don’t even need a huge house. I could find a one-story ranch style house and be so happy with it, as long as it comes with the things I’ve always wanted in a home.

My “wants” are simple.

My dream home has to have a decent-sized backyard for BBQs and get-togethers with friends, my kids and their friends, family, etc. I’d love to have a big tree in the backyard – for a treehouse to be built. If you know me personally, you’ll know I’ve always wanted a treehouse.

FOR ME. NOT THE KIDS. 🤣

It would be my own personal space to write or to just run to for silence. It would be my own personal space to hang out in – a glass or two of wine late at night, look up at the stars and just think. It would be my own personal “happy place”.

My dream home would have a beautiful kitchen with tons of kitchen cabinet and counter space because I love to cook and bake. One thing I’ve always wanted – is a beautiful kitchen island right in the middle. My aunt and uncle have one and I absolutely love that. It also has tons of cabinets and space to store dishes, pans, etc. Something like theirs – would be lovely.

My dream home would have a finished basement, and that would either be my older son’s room until he moves out – because he’s always talking about having a “man cave” – or – I’d totally get a pool table and a few video games and turn it into a little gaming area for the kids and their friends. The gaming systems would definitely be down there, so if the boys want to yell and scream at their games – it’s all done in the basement, and I can close the door and tune them out. ha.

They take their gaming seriously, so they could use their own spot to do it in.

The washer and dryer I’ve always wanted – would be in a little laundry room space that I can decorate my way. I’ve always wanted one of those fancy washer and dryers that make a beautiful noise when they’re done. 😁 I always say when I buy a house, those are my first purchases for it.

I also want to make sure there’s tons of natural sunlight.

The apartment I have now – faces the parking lot, and there’s barely any sunlight coming in. I want a house with tons of windows all around that let in the sunlight.

When I was talking to the realtor yesterday, I let her know all of this and she then said, “With three kids, I’m sure you want two bathrooms”. I never thought of that, and it never really mattered to me, but yes – that would be perfect!

I don’t know if I’ll ever get everything I want in a house, because I’ve looked at some beautiful homes while planning to move this summer from where I am now, but if I absolutely love a house, I always find something wrong with it. I don’t like the kitchen, or the yard, or the small rooms. I’ve searched plenty of houses over the last few days and something always throws off the whole vibe and makes me say, “This isn’t the one!”. I’m picky – I know – and right now, I don’t have time to be picky.

So, while I may not buy a house right now, this would be my dream home description for the near future.

While we’re on the subject of houses and a dream home –

I have searched so many apartments and homes in different areas and even different states the last few days, because the deadline is fast approaching when I’d like to have something locked in, secured and ready to move into when we leave here. I want to have something ready by May 1st at least, so when May 31st rolls around, I’ll be cleaning up this place we’re in now, making sure it’s good for the next tenants, and having the last walk-through done.

I have friends and family out in IL. keeping their eyes open for apartments and homes, and we’ll see what happens.

I have been searching as well, and I leave our next place – all in God’s hands.

The search has been a headache and that’s what I’ve done all day – everyday sometimes, but I believe that we will be alright and we will get to move closer to home – as we want to.

****

WALMART AND VALENTINE’S DAY!

Other than the moving and my dream home thing, I have been preparing for Valentine’s Day.

My little dude’s class is having a party, and the teacher sent home a list of students in the class.

One thing I do every year and have fully enjoyed – is making up little goody bags or gift buckets for almost every holiday, and V-day is no different. I made up little baggies filled with pencil sharpeners, bubbles, cute stampers, heart-shaped rings, stickers, and little cute ducks. There’s some other stuff in them as well, and I’ll also be putting candy in them.

I love seeing the looks on their curious little faces when we bring goodies in for his class, and they get excited.

I’ll be bringing in Cupcakes and juice boxes, and a few gifts for some teachers and his as well.

While I was at Walmart yesterday morning grabbing party favors for these little goody bags, I was also looking for V-day cards for little dude to pass out to his class.

Many of them only had 16 in it, and there’s 18 kids. I didn’t want to buy another whole box of 16 – for just 2, so I was looking for a box of cards with 24 or 32 in them – even if we’d have some left over. If I could just buy one box and get it over with – it’s easier.

I ended up asking a woman who worked there and was trying to organize the V-day Isle she was in – if they have a box of 24 cards by any chance or if there’s more in another isle.

She turned to me and I realized she was the same woman that was at the self-checkout line during Halloween when we went in there for face paint. She’s mentally challenged and has a disability where she can’t talk very clearly, but she’s such a sweetheart. We said hello to each other, and we started talking about the party my son was having in his class.

She tried helping me find a box of 24 or 32, and I found one on my own – grabbing some Monster truck cards. A box of 32.

I thanked her for her help and walked to the next isle over to start picking out party favors. She walked over to that isle, showed me another choice of Hot wheel V-day cards, and asked if I wanted those instead. I thanked her but told her I think I’d stick with the Monster trucks, and I kind of giggled when she said, “Can you afford both?”. I politely thanked her and told her I didn’t want both, so she went to put the Hot wheels cards back. I felt bad and thanked her, again.

As I was looking through party favors, she came back over to me and asked if I had a boyfriend or husband. I told her no. I said it was just me and my kids. She said, “I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, either”. I hoped she wasn’t trying to flirt or go somewhere with that – or I’d have to find a very nice way to turn her down – but thankfully, she just started giving me some really cool words of wisdom.

She told me how us single women have to treat ourselves to something on Valentine’s Day, and that it’s more than okay to buy something for ourselves. We don’t need a man to buy anything for us. She said she’s going to buy herself some flowers, and I told her what a beautiful idea that was and said I may treat myself to some as well – along with some chocolate and coffee.

She said women have to work on themselves first, and make sure we feel good about ourselves, and when we’re not even looking – the right man will come along and love us the way we deserve to be loved. 💕 Listen. Don’t let nobody tell you that people with disabilities or those who are mentally challenged – have anything wrong with them, because sometimes – they are the kindest, sweetest, smartest people you will ever meet!

She spoke the truth and I loved what she was saying.

I already know all of that because I preach it all myself, and I agree with all of it.

If you’re a woman – and you’re single – go treat yourself to something fun, or nice. New haircut, new nails, Bath N’ body works goodies, New Victoria Secret goodies, flowers, chocolate, coffee, time with friends – whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good – you don’t need a man to spoil you on V-day. YOU spoil you! Men included… if you’re single – go have fun and enjoy doing something for yourselves.

We chatted for a bit about the fun parts of being single, and treating ourselves to nice things on Valentine’s Day, and then – I had to tell her to “have a nice day”, for the 5th time – and get out of there because if not, she would have stood there and talked all day, and while I didn’t mind – I really had to get out of Walmart and run other errands.

She really is a sweetheart. I enjoy talking to her whenever she’s around Walmart, but I had to go.

After getting Elijah’s goody bag things, I ran a few isles over to grab food for my daughter’s bunny.

On the way to pay – I stopped at the little girl’s section and picked out some cute things for my new niece, Ella.

I know Ella was born weeks ago, and I’ve said before that the mother wants nothing to do with my brother, but I’m hoping by sending Ella some cute things, her mother will reach out to me and let me have a relationship with my niece. I want to know my niece. I should know my niece and my niece should know she has a whole family on her dad’s side – who will love the heck out of her and be there for her. So, I’m hoping when she receives these gifts, her mother reaches out to me, and we can have a civil conversation.

Even if she wants nothing to do with my brother, and he has to handle that in court to see his daughter, I’d like to do it the easy way and see if she’ll allow me to be a part of Ella’s life. I love Ella as much as I love my nephews, T.J. and Matthew – even if Ella and I – haven’t met yet.

So, I grabbed a few adorable things for Ella.

💕

💕

💕

Here’s hoping that Auntie gets to meet her soon and have a relationship with her – if her mother allows.

DINNER AND A MOVIE:

Moving on……………

My youngest son asked if we could watch a movie a few months ago and he picked out ZOOTOPIA.

It was such a funny and cute movie, and I absolutely loved it! 💕

Nick and Judy (Carrots – as he nicknamed her) – are hilarious together and I love the bond they create between them.

If you and your kids haven’t seen it yet, I totally recommend checking it out, or even by yourself if you’re looking for a funny movie to watch, and don’t mind cartoon-ish movies.

So, Saturday – when my little guy asked if we could go to the movies and see ZOOTOPIA 2 – I said “no” at first.

My other kids had eye doctor appointments, the movie place we go to is an hour 1/2 away, and I was tired.

However – I kind of wanted to see part 2, and he said it was really good.

He and his class went to see it, so I figured, “Why not?”. My older kids actually wanted to go see it as well – which was surprising because they’re 23, and 17 – so, we went to their eye doctor appointments and went to see the movie.

We got to the area early, so we stopped and grabbed something to eat at a nice restaurant and all we did inside – was laugh and laugh and laugh. We had so much fun talking, joking around, and making each other laugh harder than normal, but we had a blast. I kept trying to get my kids to lower their voices or be quiet because there were others around us, and while the restaurant was mainly empty – people were still looking at us – as we laughed, couldn’t stop, and enjoyed our time out together.

At one point, we had stopped laughing long enough to eat, but my older son had us laughing again when he giggled and said to my daughter, “I like how you ordered Chocolate chip pancakes you had a taste for so much, but you’re digging into moms Biscuits and Gravy”. 🤣She kept reaching her fork over – picking at my food. We haven’t laughed that much in such a long time, and it was nice – even if others were looking at us and thought we were too loud.

When we got back in the car, I joked that I couldn’t take them anywhere, and they joked that they are DRIVE-THRU kids and not SIT-DOWN-IN-RESTAURANT kids. I didn’t mind though because they were having fun and enjoying themselves.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

I don’t want to spoil anything, so if you haven’t seen ZOOTOPIA 2 yet – you can scroll past this, but I will say that I absolutely love the part where Nick finally opens up to “Carrots”, she finally opens up to him, and they quickly proceed to tell each other their problems and so on, so they could better understand each other in the future and why they have the personalities they do. 🤗 When Nick admits he doesn’t want to lose Judy and that he’s grown to care about her – such a cute moment in the movie.

See part 1 first, and then go see Part 2.

I promise – you won’t be disappointed.

So….

Between getting ready for Valentine’s Day stuff, preparing to get boxes and bins and move, looking for places to move to, getting ready for my daughter’s “lasts” in high school – and preparing for tons of other things – I haven’t had time to sit down and write, so here I am – now that I have a moment to myself.

SENIOR ASSASSIN:

My daughter has started SENIOR ASSASSIN – as I’ve mentioned before. Her and the class of 2026 are now playing and the rules are – you can’t get anyone while they’re at work or school, and if they have their goggles on, they’re safe.

They all have an app they downloaded for Seniors everywhere – who play this game at the end of the year, and it shows all of their locations, so my daughter downloaded that, and she’s been begging me to find her goggles – so she doesn’t get assassinated.

You all know her friends call me “mom”, and I call them my “adopted babies”, so two of her other friends didn’t have goggles, either.

I ended up ordering a 3-pack online from Menards yesterday because no other stores have their summer gear (including goggles) out yet.

I took my daughter and her friend with me to pick them up yesterday, and we all laughed when they came back out to the car after picking them up from the order pick up section and showing me that I ordered goggles for toddlers 3 and up. 🤣 Oops! We went around to the front and I parked, so we could go inside and exchange them for goggles their size.

I was told from Customer service – that if we go to Hardware – they could show us a box of goggles we can pick from.

We found some in the summer section they were setting up, and we grabbed a 3-pack their size, but we also wanted to see what other goggles they had, so we were led upstairs by three associates. I didn’t even know Menards had an upstairs, but I guess that’s where their storage area is, and customers are allowed. (No children). We went up there, and they looked for goggles, but all they had was the ones out on the floor already, which was fine because my daughter and her friend got what they needed, and now – they’re wearing these goggles everywhere outside of school – to be safe.

They’re also carrying their gel blaster guns with them everywhere – in case they see someone outside of school and want to get them before they get “got”. haha.

I love that my daughter is participating because these are memories that she’ll remember forever.

I had to laugh because once Senior Assassin started last week – one teenage boy I’ll call “J” – quickly took out a few classmates, and he eliminated one at the gas station – as he snuck up behind the truck and shot gel blasters into the open window. “J” is sneaky, and he’s the only one that has gotten others out so far, so to be funny – the organizer of this Senior assassin game – called for a BOUNTY to be put on “J’s” head, and anyone can look for him and get him.

I joked that that’s the first one my daughter and her friends should locate and go for once they get goggles.

If Seniors want to follow other Senior’s home and get them – it’s fair game, so now – my daughter is on high alert and told me I better bring her goggles and gun everywhere if I pick her up from school to go anywhere. lol.

I love that she’s making memories, and I’ll forever look back and cherish these times as well – as a parent.

My other two older kids never did these things / events in high school, so it makes me smile to know she’s enjoying her last few months before graduation.

🤗

Dress Shopping:

I took her out of school early today, so we could go dress shopping for her Winter formal coming up.

Everything closes by 5 or 6 out here, so it had to be done early.

We went to a place that has tons of formal dresses for great prices, but unfortunately – she tried on five dresses and none of them fit her, so she walked out of the store disappointed.

We went over to J.C. Penney, and they had a very small selection, so we left there and I caved and went to a Bridal / prom shop.

I knew their prices were going to be outrageous – just by the looks of their dresses, and I was right.

Their dresses start at $250, so the beautiful Indian woman who works there – asked me what my price range was. I told her I wasn’t trying to spend more than $100 or so, but I was willing to see what I could play around with because it was for my daughter and I wanted her to be happy.

I explained that this is her last as a Senior, and she graduates this year, so I want this to be extra special for her.

She asked what my daughter was looking for – a short or long dress. My daughter said short. I looked at the lady and told her, “Not too short”. She surprised me when she told me that she had a mother of a teenager come in and ask if a really short dress her daughter tried on – could be made even shorter. Not me, lady! I want my daughter to look beautiful, in a modestly short dress. Again – not too short. lol.

She asked my daughter what she envisions her perfect dress to look like and what color. My daughter told her she’ll try any colors except pink and purple. My daughter also told the lady she wants a sparkly dress.

The lady grabbed two black dresses and told my daughter to follow her. She asked if my daughter wanted to try to them on, and she said yes. I will say I laughed a bit when the lady kept asking my daughter if she could come in and see how it looked every 5 minutes, and my daughter told her, “I don’t even have it past my bra yet!”. The lady told her for the best fit – she should take her bra off and try dresses on.

So, seven dresses later – the lady brought my daughter a red dress. This poor lady kept going back and forth with my daughter saying no to the first few dresses. The lady was a very patient, and she and I talked a bit as my daughter tried these dresses on. The first red dress she tried on – she came out onto the stand area and looked at herself in the mirrors as the lady fixed the back of that dress. My daughter claimed to like it – but a mother knows better.

I know better….so – when the lady walked away to grab one more dress, I whispered, “Do you really like that one? Don’t make me buy it if you know you don’t like it!”. My daughter whispered, “No!”. See? A mother knows!

The last red dress she tried on, she was absolutely in love with and said she couldn’t stop looking at herself. 😁

She told me a few times she loves that dress, and she even took a photo of herself in the dress – in the mirrors.

That’s how I knew she was being truthfully about loving the last dress she tried on.

It was a little big on the top area, but the lady took down notes on the alterations she had to make.

This dress was one of the $250 dresses, but the lady told me she’d give it to me for $160. I told her she didn’t have to do that, but we were talking about how crazy this economy is, and how happy I just wanted my daughter to be, so I did appreciate her kind gesture, and she made sure I only paid $160.

30 minutes after we left the shop – the lady called and said the alterations were done, so I’m going to pick up the dress in the morning.

As I paid, I smiled because while I could have really used that money – my daughter was so happy, excited, and it made me feel good.

She had me laughing in the car when she said she felt like she was on that show, “Say Yes to the Dress!”. She said she was just waiting for the cameras to come out. ha.

While my daughter was trying on dresses, the lady said she had a mother and daughter who came in there a few days ago, and the mother purchased a $1,400 – quince dress for the daughter, and a $1,600 dress for herself for her 25th wedding anniversary.

I can’t wrap my head around why people would pay so much for dresses, shoes, purses, etc. I’m okay with the little things in life, as long as they’re comfortable and look cute.

I’ve never been the type to need or want the “finer things in life”. My mother and grandmother always taught me to be humble and be happy with what I have because some people would love to have what I have. That has stuck with me all through my life. 💕

As we were walking out of the shop, I couldn’t imagine paying $1,400-$1,600 for a dress for one night, and I thought about weddings and how much those big ones – cost. How much Bridal gowns cost, and I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – if – big if – I ever get married again, I want something simple. Something low-key. Something relaxing – that doesn’t drain our bank accounts.

Listen.

I think I made this long enough, and as always – if you were interested enough to get through this long post and made it to the end, I love you so much.

I’m enjoying a glass or two of wine, so I hope all of you have a fantastic night, and I’ll be back before the weekend.

🤗Shel🤗

Changes.

Changes.

Shel R.1 Comment

Loves.

I’ve been neglecting the whole blogging thing.

I’ve been so busy and so tired – trying to get ready for so many new beginnings.

The end and beginnings of new things, actually.

Graduation:

As many of you know, my youngest daughter graduates from high school in a few short months, so we’re in the final stretch of getting ready for that.

She’s been taking yearbook photos, turning in her last major assignments – including a big History project her and her friend just worked on here at our place, and she’s now searching for dresses. One for Winter formal coming up in a few weeks, and one for graduation. 💕

Senior assassin has started, and she made me laugh when she said she’s not going to be “out and about” with me – without her goggles on. Rules are – keep your location ON – (because these Seniors download an app where they can all see each other’s locations), and if they see each other “out and about” and they have goggles on their eyes, they’re considered “safe”.

If they have their goggles around their necks, hanging out of their pockets, in their hands, etc. – any other senior can assassinate them. She kept telling me I needed to get her goggles, and we’re doing that today and then – she’ll turn her location on. I told her she’s cheating, and that’s what she told me.

That she’s not going to be seen “out and about” with no goggles on. lol.

I’m just enjoying these last few months of her being in high school, and I’m not trying to rush anything.

The entire class of 2026 had a graduation song picked out, but after my daughter heard it, I was so proud when she spoke up and said that song had nothing to do with graduating, so another girl asked if they should change it. Many of the class members said yes, and agreed with my daughter, so eventually – after going through different songs, they decided on the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac.

Dude. I cried in my living room when she told me that, and she laughed at me.

That’s one song that always makes me cry, and knowing it’s going to be played at her graduation – I’m going to lose it. Anyone want to donate boxes of tissue? lmao. Kidding! I’ll already have a bunch of tissues with me.

That part where it says, “Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ – ’cause I’ve built my whole life around you, but time makes you bolder, children get older, and I’m getting older, too!” – gets me every time.

For so many years – I’ve built my whole life around my kids, and now that they’re getting older, I know eventually – I’ll have to find “me” again, and who I am.

So, as we prepare for graduation and do everything she has to do before that day – my mama heart is so happy and excited for that day coming up, and my mama heart is a little sad because I remember when we moved to Minnesota and she started 7th grade here. I look at her pictures of when she was growing up, and my mama heart remembers every single memory from every single photo in her younger years.

She just made “A honor roll” for 2nd quarter and she was on it for the 1st quarter as well.

I’m so proud of the young lady she is becoming, who she wants to be in the future, and all the goals and plans she has for herself after high school.

There’s a trend on TIKTOK going around where it says, “So proud of my daughter because her high school years look so different than mine”, and I smile at that trend. In high school – at the age of 17, I was pregnant with my first child and had my first child at 18. Kailani at 17 – doesn’t want any kids until she’s older, is talking about becoming a paramedic, and moving to California one day.

She didn’t follow in my footsteps, and I’m so happy because of that. She did so much better than I did in high school, and she didn’t make the same mistakes, so it does my mama heart good that she is becoming so successful. 🤗

As she finishes high school, picks her college or certification program after and becomes who she wants to be in life, it’s bitter-sweet to see her getting older, growing so fast, maturing and doing so many great things.

With that being said, I will also say that I’m so proud of me for getting two college degrees in Criminal Justice (Associate and Bachelors) – and while I didn’t get to fly to Vegas for my graduations, I do plan to purchase the cap and gown soon, take my honors tassels I was sent, get my National Society of Leadership and Success gear, and hire a photographer to take some graduation photos for me, because I didn’t do that, either.

I want to.

I think it’d be fun and it’s something I can cherish for life.

Photos my kids can cherish and look at – to be proud of their mom when I’m no longer here on this earth.

To know that if I was able to finish two degrees as a single working mom with bills and all the craziness of life – they could and should aim just as high and do many great things in this life, because if I can do it, they can too!

So, yes – I want that college graduate photo shoot soon – maybe this summer – and hell, maybe if I order my cap and gown now from the college I graduated from, my youngest daughter and I – can decorate our caps together.

Maybe we can take graduation photos together.

******

New place:

With my daughter about to graduate, I’m also looking for a new place and getting ready to get out of this small-little town.

That too – is going to be bitter-sweet, but as much as my heart and mind have battled about staying here or getting the hell out of here, I know we have to get the hell out of here.

I’ve said this before.

There’s no variety of anything here. No variety of food places, no fun activities for families, no great job opportunities – especially not in my field.

My daughter hates going into the stores we do have because this place is so small – everyone knows everyone or everyone is related to everyone and she hates running into people from school. My older son misses all his friends back home and he’s been in a bit of a depression since we lost my oldest child, and he has nobody to hang out with here. He’s made a few friends, but they weren’t the best, so he’s ready to get the hell out of here.

Not to mention – that there’s really no jobs for him out here – where he can advance and really do well.

It’s mostly fast food, a few small grocery stores, and retail, and he wants to do something else at the age of 23.

Me? I’m lost out here.

I miss my friends and family, familiar places back home and not having to drive hours and hours for good stores, good food and fun things to do. I’m tired of wasting gas and going miles and miles for the doctor or hospital, and main stores. So, it will be a blessing to move somewhere bigger and better – and somewhere a little closer to home – where everything and everyone is closer.

I did tell my landlord we will probably be out by the end of May because rent is going up here in the building, and while he’s already raised rent for others, he has kept mine the same because of the fact that he knows I want to be out of here when my daughter graduates. So, when I signed my new lease, we agreed he would do the lease until May and keep me at the same price – but if I wanted to stay and ended up being here in June, it would go up to $1,000 a month like everyone else.

This building is NOT worth that much monthly, and nothing is updated. Nothing gets fixed right away, and I’ve had so many issues in this building, it’s time to go.

He messaged me today and asked if I think I can be out by May 1st, because he found someone to take the apartment. I told him my daughter doesn’t graduate until the end of May. He messaged me back and said he’ll tell the people they can move in – June 1st then.

I laughed because NEVER did I say we were definitely moving, and I know he doesn’t like to have empty apartments here, so he tries to fill them as fast as he can, but he never even asked if I was sure I was moving – before he “found someone to take the apartment”.

Yes, we will be out because trust me when I say – I’ve never been happier to leave a place – than I am leaving this one, but at the same time – it holds so many great and fun memories, that I will cry when the apartment is empty and we’re on to new beginnings and new memories in a new place this year. 🥺 This is the last place I saw my oldest child before she was killed.

We celebrated her 21st birthday in this apartment. She drew a smiley face on the wall that night and I haven’t touched it.

We’ve had many great Christmas’s here, and late-night talks in the kitchen when my kids and I couldn’t sleep and we just laughed so much together in the middle of the night.

This apartment holds a piece of my heart, and although I’ll be so happy to see the moving truck in the driveway and the last items going into the truck to get the hell out of here, I plan to ask to have 5 minutes alone in here – and just let out all the emotions of leaving the place we’ve lived in – for 6 years now.

All the memories and good times. All the funny moments. All the laughter.

Saying goodbye to somewhere you’ve lived for so long is never easy – and while you know it’s the best thing for you and your family, it’s still so hard to do.

As the time approaches to the day that I know I’ll stand in each empty room and cry, I am so thankful for every moment we’ve had here.

I was telling a friend today about the landlord already having new people ready to take over June 1st, and that I didn’t even give him a full answer if I was moving or not, and we laughed about it, but she made a good point. She told me, “Shel, you’ve been fighting with yourself about if you’re making the right choice moving or not, and maybe this is God’s way of pushing you out of there – to somewhere better”. I agree. Maybe.

I’m a little scared. I must admit.

So many changes are about to happen, and I just pray God guides us and makes every decision I make for me and my kids – great ones.

I can only hope I’m doing the right thing by getting us out of Minnesota and somewhere closer to home. Around those we love and know. Around places we love and know. Am I going directly back into Chicago? Absolutely not, but am I going closer? Totally. Wisconsin / IL. border is perfect, and I just hope that our new place – our new lives there – are beautiful.

I’ve been looking for a place recently because the first thing I want to do when taxes come in – is drop the money on a place I love, so little by little – we can start taking our things we don’t need or use right now – to the new place, and so when my daughter does graduate – we already have a place to move to, and that will be one thing off my mind.

*****

New Niece:

I must also tell you all that my new niece was born last month.

Her mother did name her “Ella” like her and my brother planned before they broke up, and she’s the cutest thing.

If I did mention that in another post already, my bad. If not – there ya go!

I feel like she looks just like my brother, but just to be sure – since this girl refuses to talk to my brother – he did hire a lawyer to the whole DNA testing and to make sure he has visitations with his daughter.

Hell, I want to message this girl and tell her, “Let me see my niece!”. However, I know it has to be done the legal way, and I’m not trying to get my brother in any kind of trouble or issues with this girl. If it is his kid, I hope I get to see her soon, and with me being closer to home this summer if all goes well, I look forward to babysitting, seeing my niece often, and being in her life.

I hope and pray that my brother gets to be in her life – even if his ex wants nothing to do with him.

I look forward to seeing my nephews and taking them more, and I know for sure that my brother’s ex-wife (different woman) – will be more than happy to get a break and hand my nephews over to me. 🤗

Being an Auntie of possibly three now – that’s another new change and I’m excited about that.

*****

New career:

With the new opportunities that I feel like moving somewhere bigger is going to bring, I’m excited to start looking for jobs in Probation.

I have no idea if that’s the direction God will bring me in, but I also know so many other places and people that have connections to get me in wherever I decide to go. I know that my degrees, my knowledge, my skills, my experience – will lead me to the right job as well, and I leave it in God’s hands.

Even if I don’t end up doing my dream job of probation – wherever I go, I just want to know I’m making a difference in lives of those who don’t have anyone, who need help, or someone to care – and that I can do whatever I can to make them feel loved and cared for. That I can help them change their lives.

Even if I can’t save them all. 💕

So, I’m looking forward to many more opportunities than there are out here, and to a new career – even though – again, it’s going to be bitter-sweet to leave where I am now because I’ve gotten to know and love all of my tenants at my job, and they love the heck out of me and my son – who also works there with me.

I do plan to give my number to some of them, so they can keep in touch, call me whenever they’re having a tough time or just want to talk, and to keep in contact with them to know how they’re all doing.

I’m going to miss them dearly when I move.

I hate getting attached to people.

The goodbyes are always heartbreaking.

Some changes are great, and some are great – AND sad.

but………………………….

When I tell you that I’m so much looking forward to family saying, “Come on over”, and I can say, “Be there in an hour or so” – I totally mean that. When friends call and say they’re coming over, or “let’s go do something fun”, I can say, “Let’s go!”, and mean that. I do look forward to being around those I’ve missed for so long and haven’t seen in forever.

And yet again…

Leaving those I’ve met in Minnesota that have become such a huge part of my life – is tough.

I’ve met some amazing people out here, and I hope and pray we all keep in contact, and maybe I’ll come back and visit them here once-in-a-while.

There’s so many things that are going to break me and make me cry when I leave this small town, and there’s so many things that are going to make me smile when I move closer to home – that all these changes are like a Win-lose situation. Ah.

I hate changes sometimes, but again – they can be so beautiful as well.

So, there’s lots of changes coming and I just hope everything goes smoothly.

****Laugh with me****

Other than all the changes – my car was finally fixed. Yes, Maggie got taken care of.

I took the car in last week after months of issues with it and fining out it was the Timing chain, a sensor and Spark plugs.

I got it back the same day, and it was running beautifully for that day and the next, but when I went to pick the kids up from school, it sounded like it started, and whenever I hit the “push to start” button, it kept sounding like it restarted, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. I could put it into different gears, and it wouldn’t do anything.

It smelled highly of gasoline, and the battery light was on, and that wasn’t on before I sent it for service.

I called the mechanic who did the Timing chain, sensor and Spark plugs, and he came right over because he’s only a few blocks down.

He lifted the hood, checked it out and told me – (while kind of laughing) – “Your Fuel Pump went” …………………..(and he made an exploding sound with his mouth).

EXCUSE ME, SIR?!

First of all, it’s not funny, so why are you smirking? 2nd, YOU did the work, so what did you mess up that my fuel pump is bad now?

I wasn’t blaming him. You know I use humor in bad situations, and it helps me not scream my lungs out. ha.

Humor helps me keep my sanity. lol.

I joked that he did the work, and I wondered if he messed it up, so I’d have to come back and give him more money.

He said he has no idea why, but it came off or wasn’t connected, and he ended up connecting it or whatever he did and said it should be fine now. He said I may need a new fuel pump eventually, maybe not. It may be a fuel leak, maybe not. It is – or it isn’t?!!!! It needs to be replaced, or it doesn’t.

I don’t want to hear all those “maybes”.

He said if I had any further issues, bring it back – but now my check engine light is on. So, I have to bring it back to him anyway, but the car is running so much better than it was before the Timing chain and all the other stuff was taken care of, and for that – I’m grateful.

I just pray it’s nothing else, because I don’t need any more headaches with this damn car.

Maybe I just need to marry a mechanic.

You have to laugh and keep your sense of humor or life will drive you crazy.

In other news….

My older son has taken to calling me “Little Rockstar” now. lmfao.

I have no idea why or how that started, but I guess it’s because I do so much, and rock it – make things look so easy – and handle my business both at work and at home. He has started saying things like, “You got this, Little Rockstar”, or “You go Little Rockstar”. He’ll say things like, “I know you can do this, Little Rockstar!”, and “Look at you go, Little Rockstar!”.

He makes me laugh every time he says something with Little Rockstar in it, but it also makes me smile because it’s his own little personal nickname for me now. 😁 I don’t mind it!

If I had a bad day or I’m just venting, he’ll say, “You’ll be alright, Little Rockstar”.

Besides humor, my kids totally keep me sane and make me want to keep going.

OKAY, OKAY.

I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time to write – mostly because I’m trying to figure out and handle all these changes that are about to happen, and making sure everything is paid, taken care of, and good before my daughter graduates and we move.

Life is about to get crazy the next few months – more than it already has been – and I’m trusting God to handle it all with me.

That’s really all that’s been happening around here.

My little guy had the nurse call me from school today because he wanted medicine since he’s sick, and the nurse wanted to make sure it was okay to give him something, and my daughter called me from school because she forgot her glasses, so I had to run those up.

Besides changes and parenting – I have nothing big going on – then again – those are big, aren’t they?!

Oh wait – wait – wait…..

I tried dating.

Yes, I did.

After such a long time – I tried to dip my toes into the dating pool again, and it sucked.

I met a guy I actually loved talking to, and he was constantly messaging me, and he was great at communicating – however – he was only 28. I’m 43. He said he didn’t care about my age, and that his last girlfriend was 41. I told him I have kids, and with him not having kids – I didn’t want him to feel burdened by mine if he ever met them, especially because my son is 23, so he’s only a few years older than my oldest son. He’s only 2 years older than what my oldest kiddo would have been if she was still alive. So, I felt awkward. He – didn’t care about any of that age stuff, or the fact that I have kids.

He was fine with all of it.

He then said he works, but that he does live with his parents.

I think that’s another thing that bothered me. Him still living with his parents, which means if I ever wanted to go to his place – there’s really no privacy, and I asked if his parents would be okay with him bringing home a 43-year-old that has kids. He said his parents would just be happy he met someone, and they’re happy – if he’s happy. He said they met his ex-girlfriend, and they didn’t care that she was 41. He said his mom and dad got along great with her, and she had kids as well, so no – they wouldn’t mind me or my kids.

I still felt awkward.

I tried so hard to continue to talk to him, but my older son and I were talking about it, and I was surprised when my older son heard his age and told me, “So what? If he’s a good guy – what’s the worst that can happen? You have yourself a good boyfriend? OH NO!”. Yes, my son was being sarcastic, and he really didn’t care that this guy was only 28 – as long as I was finally happy with someone.

When I told him that this guy still lives with his parents, that was the deal-breaker for my son.

He said that’s a different story, and then he had me laughing when he said he’s 23 – and one thing he doesn’t want – is to be 28 and still living at home with me. My son always says if he’s not out by 25, I need to kick him out. ha.

So, eventually – I decided to part ways with this guy I was talking to, and I will say that he may have been a great guy – (I didn’t stick around to find out) – but if he was 28 and living alone – I may have felt better. I would have totally felt better if he was in his 30’s. I can do 30’s, but 28 was a little weird for me, and him living with his parents at 28 – even more so. I think it’s just the fact that I’m older and living alone with my kids, so I want someone who has their own place as well.

Let me say that there is nothing wrong with living with your parents still at any age because so many people need to go back home. This economy isn’t built for one income and trust me – I know that first-hand, so while I was understanding about him living at home still, he also didn’t seem to have any plans to get out on his own any time soon – which I think is what really bothered me – as well as the age thing.

He didn’t seem motivated to get out.

Not to mention that he had no kids, and I didn’t want him to feel tied down to mine. I think it would have been different if maybe he had a kid or two because then he knows how parenting goes. What really did it for me – was the fact that I mentioned one night that I was out having dinner with friends, and that I planned to have a drink or two when I got home (just a glass of wine) – and he asked why I was having a drink on a Tuesday night – BEFORE BED – like he was monitoring me.

I just felt like it wasn’t a good match, I wished him well, and I hope he finds his person.

Maybe I’m the problem.

Maybe I’m picky. Maybe I should have looked past all of that and gave him a chance? Idk.

Anyway – if you’re still here reading this, much love to you and pray that all the decisions and all the changes in the next few months – will go perfect for me and my little family. 💕

I want my mom.

I want to call her and ask her advice. Tell her everything on my mind. Have her tell me, “Everything will be okay”.

*Insert scream here*

This is the part of trusting God that nobody talks about.

XOXO.

💕Shel💕

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

Shel R.Leave a comment

A few nights ago, I couldn’t sleep.

A friend of mine had told me about a cute movie she watched and wanted me to check out, so – since I couldn’t sleep and she knows I like different Christmas movies around this time of year, I watched the one she suggested.

I’m not sure if it’s streaming anywhere else, but I watched it on YouTube.

It seemed like a Hallmark movie, and I’m not really a Hallmark movie – kind of gal, but I actually like this movie.

You have to pay attention to really know what’s going on, but I recommend it if you’re looking for something cute to watch. ❤️

It has some great actors / actresses, such as Paul Walker and Robin Williams (God rest their souls), Susan Sarandon, Penelope Cruz, Chaz Palminteri, and others.

Paul Walker plays a super jealous and controlling cop, who doesn’t want any man around his fiancé or even looking at her, and she’s ready to leave him if he doesn’t change his crazy ways. She truly does love him and wants everything to work out – especially because it’s Christmas, and she doesn’t want to leave him during Christmas.

Susan Sarandon’s mother is battling Alzheimer’s / Dementia and won’t eat, and while she loves spending time with her mom every year, things are getting worse, and it’s become an awful Christmas for her – watching her mother go through all of this, as she watches the man across the hall from her mother’s room – fight for his life.

There’s an elderly man in this movie who is obsessed with Paul Walker’s character and at first – the movie makes it seem likes he’s gay and wants to be with “Mike” – (Paul’s character), but that’s not the case at all, and it made me cry when I found out why he’s so obsessed with Mike.

What Mike does for this man to heal his heart and soul – teaches him something about himself and his own jealousy and the way he’s acting with his fiancé.

The movie is good. I’d watch it again.

So, when I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago, that’s what I watched, and I enjoyed it.

If you watch it, let me know what you think.

*****

In other news, my son and I had our very first work meeting this week.

I work all week long and on the weekends. My son just works the weekends with me, but this meeting was mandatory for most staff.

We got updates on some of our tenants in the building. We got updates on whatever we needed to know. We talked about different things, the work Christmas party next week, things that need to be done during shifts, and so on.

Staff was able to voice our thoughts, ideas, concerns, etc.

My son and I stayed quiet because again, this was our first meeting since working at this facility and we just wanted to take it all in, see what goes on in these meetings, and who says what.

One thing that did make me want to speak up and go against something – was when one of my older co-workers said something about possibly putting up a sign that says nobody can hang out in the hallways because she’s tired of kicking people out of the halls, and nobody listens. They keep doing it anyway. If there’s a sign saying they can’t – maybe, they’ll finally understand it.

I disagreed with that because it’s winter. It’s freezing outside, and sometimes the weather is -10, -20, -30 – out here, and kicking people out in the cold, just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s not the kind of person I am and it’s not the way my heart is. Not to mention that while I’m on my shift, or my son and I are both working together – we don’t care if people are hanging out in the hallways because they’re safe, they’re warm, and they live in the building – WE DON’T! So, for us to kick them out of any part of their home – when we just work in this facility – doesn’t sit right with us.

I wanted to say all of that, but I didn’t.

I knew that if my boss agreed to put a sign up saying they can’t hang out in the hallways, and we still let them – (because I was still going to let them), it would be mixed signals because different staff let them do different things, and we wouldn’t all be on the same page.

Here’s the thing.

The facility I work in – as I said before – houses people who are homeless or were once homeless before they were accepted into this facility. It’s a big building and they each have their own little apartments.

This facility houses not only homeless people, but also alcoholics and those with drug addictions, and mental health issues. This facility houses some criminals who committed different minor crimes and have nowhere to go after their release, or those who have no family / friends to go to. We have people from all walks of life in this facility, and they lean on each other. They’re friends with each other. They enjoy hanging out with and seeing each other, because for some of them – the people who live there, are all they have.

The problem is – there’s two sides to this huge building.

There’s the side where the tenants are more independent, can work, go do whatever they please, come and go, etc. as long as they stay out of trouble and follow the rules of their leases, and of the facility. Then, there’s the side where people are more dependent, need alcohol portion control, are dealing with withdrawals, dealing with mental health things, and just need more care, and compassion.

The staff office – is right in the middle of both sides, so both sides can come and talk to the staff, or get what they need, but both sides are locked – and these tenants know that one side can’t go to the other sides lobby. So they call each other from the lobby phones, meet outside, or – in these hallways they have right by the office if it’s cold outside like it has been.

During the meeting, when my older co-worker asked if a sign can be placed, I was so happy when my boss said she’s on the fence about doing that, and she feels different about it.

She said as long as they’re not causing problems, fighting or drinking in the hallways, and as long as they’re not blocking the way to get in and out – it doesn’t bother her. She said she would much rather have them hanging out in the hallways safe and warm – than to be out and about wherever they’ll find to go to be warm and hang out and possibly get into trouble while they’re out and about.

She said she’d rather deal with them in the halls, than having the police calling the building saying, “Hey, you need to come get your guy”, or have one of them out and about drinking, and freeze to death.

I absolutely agreed with my boss, and I loved that she spoke up and said something because I was on the same page as my boss.

I was happy when the Case manager chimed in and said a sign probably wouldn’t matter anyway, because many of the people who live in the facility have had a “F*** You” attitude since they were little, and all they’re going to do – is become combative and give attitude if there’s a sign. They’re doing that now if they get kicked out of the hallways. So, it’s probably not even worth it.

I agreed with that as well.

It’s all about picking and choosing your battles and kicking them out of hallways of somewhere THEY LIVE – as I said – it’s not right.

I also wanted to speak up when one of the lead staff – said something about how people also aren’t allowed to be in the hallways if they don’t live here and just want to come in to warm up because they live on the streets. She said if that’s the case, they have TWO MINUTES to warm up, and get out, or – we can “slowly” help them fill out a housing application, and then – they have to go.

Part of me so badly wanted to kind of joke – but kind of seriously tell her, “You better hope you get into heaven when you die, and God doesn’t just give you TWO MINUTES to look around and tell you that you have to go!”.

I was so mad. I couldn’t believe how heartless she sounded. I wish I would have said something, but again, I didn’t, because I knew I wasn’t going to follow her TWO MINUTE RULLE anyway, and I was so proud of my boss and so happy when she spoke up again and said for her – it would be different.

She said for her being a human – she knows what she would want someone to do for her if she were in that same position, and if someone comes in off the streets to get warm, she will treat them like another human. She said she wouldn’t care if they slept in the hallways if that meant they have a warm place to be – even for one night. She said she’d offer a pair of warm gloves, a hat, whatever we have for whenever they want to leave, and one of my other co-workers mentioned giving them a cup of hot coffee.

YES!!!!!!

That’s how it should be!!!!!

If I’m ever at work and a homeless person comes in and needs to warm up, I’m grabbing that cup of coffee for them, having them sit down by our heaters, pulling up a chair next to them, and letting them keep me company as we chat, because I don’t have the heart for that “TWO MINUTES” crap. My boss said she’d much rather get in trouble by the higher up’s or whoever – for being a good person, than to have to treat another human like they’re below her, and I loved that!

Same.

Last week – I gave some of our “good gloves” at work to a few of the people who live there, and my son said something about how he thinks they’re Christmas gifts for those who ask for it on their wish lists.

First of all – gloves should not be on a WISH LIST. They should automatically be given out because that’s something that’s NEEDED in this weather, so if those gloves sitting in the closet were for the wish list – and I get in trouble for giving them out to people who NEED them, I’ll deal with that and take it with a smile.

My boss said in the meeting – that she’d back us up no matter what we decided to do in any situation, and that we have to use our best judgements and our common human sense. If I get in trouble for letting people hang out in the hallways to stay warm and safe, O-well. If I get in trouble for doing good things for people who live there, O-well. If I get in trouble if some homeless person comes in off the streets and wants to sleep in the halls to stay warm – O-well.

I know my boss will back me up, and that’s what matters. She has the same good heart I do.

I was bothered that this other lead staff literally sat there joking about her little TWO MINUTE rule, and they have to go. She had a smile on her face and said if they don’t live here, they don’t belong there and that’s it.

My face while she was talking – was something like:

My son tried not to laugh because he knew I was mad.

It takes ZERO EFFORT OR DOLLARS to be a good human being, and she doesn’t seem like she’s it.

After the meeting, I shared my concerns with my boss and I let her know – one on one – that I’m not kicking nobody out if they need to get warm, and that I don’t care who hangs out in the hallways if they’re not fighting, drinking or causing issues. She agreed with me, and again – I’m glad she backs me and the idea of being a good person – up.

I can’t promise I’ll stay quiet in future meetings, but I will say that from now on – I plan to stand up for what’s right and what’s wrong.

I love my job, and when it comes to rules and policies, I’ll follow them to an extent. When it comes to being a good person, helping others, showing love – compassion and kindness – I’ll bend the rules and policies if I have to, and I won’t apologize for it. 😶 There’s some circumstances where it’s okay to say, “We’re not supposed to do this, but….”.

So, my son and I survived our first work meeting – despite me having to bite my tongue and stay quiet on certain things I disagreed with or wanted to speak up on.

*****

On my side of this small little town, I’m just working, counting down the months until my daughter graduates’ high school and we can move.

I’m starting to get rid of things we don’t use, need or want – so packing will be faster and a little easier, and trying to STILL get graduation photos done, things turned in on time for her deadlines, etc. We’ve done some graduation photos, and she doesn’t like them, so we’re going to try again this weekend and by Tuesday of next week, everything should be turned in for the yearbooks and deadlines.

That’s a lot, right?! MAMA NEEDS A FEW NAPS. ha.

Today is my little guy’s Christmas concert at school and I’m looking forward to that.

He told me if I cry, he’s just going to “pretend” to sing, and not really sing. lol.

I work this weekend. I work next week. We were supposed to go to Illinois the end of this month for a few days to be with family, but I have things to do, to catch up on, and I just can’t.

Besides all of that….

Let me share how awesome my older son is!

I had to run to the store yesterday for a new pair of jeans and a new pair of shoes.

He offered to pay for my shoes. I told him I have the money, and he replied with, “I know, but I wanted to get you a Christmas gift from Amazon, and it won’t arrive on time, so let me just buy you the shoes you want”. I told him I wasn’t getting anything fancy right now because it’s winter, but he insisted – so, I let him. He called it my early Christmas gift, and I’m okay with that. 😁❤️

He really is a great kid!

After we ran to a few stores and grabbed Starbucks, we were on the way home and I felt my car driving a little bumpy. I pulled over and asked my son to check my tires, and when he did – he shook his head.

I knew I had a flat. I was so irritated because I’m a single mom. It’s almost Christmas. I have other things to buy or pay, and now I have to get a new tire on top of it???!!!

I couldn’t help it, and I was so stressed, drained and irritated – that I cried.

I didn’t just cry. I sat in the car and sobbed. Big tears. I was a wreck.

I saw this a few weeks back and didn’t think much of it until yesterday when I needed a new tire – on top of everything else going on, and I thought about this again.

I just laid my head back on my headrest, looked up and wondered what the hell God is doing up there, and why I just can’t feel like I’m getting ahead of anything.

My son was calm.

He changed my tire to the spare, and I was able to make it to the tire shop I always go to whenever I need tire work done.

I’m pretty sure I need an alignment, but they couldn’t do it yesterday, so I have to go back and that’s even more money.

$167 I didn’t plan to spend on the tire, and just like that – more money gone.

You know what I want for Christmas? A F***IN’ DAY WHERE EVERYTHING IS PAID, I DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE, I HAVE A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE, I’M BORED OUT OF MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, AND LIFE IS GOOD!

I’m sure that’s the wish of every single mama out there though.

Hell, I’m sure that’s the wish of every person dealing with anything right now.

Listen. I’m blessed that God still has me on this earth with my kids, and my other three kids here on this earth with me, so I can’t really complain.

Other than that, I don’t have much else going on right now.

I just dyed my hair.

I know I said I wasn’t going to do that.

My silver / gray was showing through my dark brown / black hair, and I wanted to see how it would look if I finally fully went silver / gray. My daughter said it looked pretty cool, but with my son’s Christmas concert in a bit, I decided to go in with cut hair and a new color. 😊

Have a beautiful day loves!

❤️Shel❤️