Maggie and I – may break up soon, saying goodbye to a great man, and A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestie!

January 15, 2026January 15, 2026 Shel R.6 Comments

So, yesterday – I tried to trade “Maggie” in – for a family SUV.

Something bigger for road trips.

Something with more family space for the kids when we’re in the car.

Something where we can pack tons of stuff into it and still have room.

My car is pretty, but it’s definitely not a family car. It’s way too small, and I didn’t think about that when I got it a few years ago. My car falls into the same class as Audi’s, and I’ve gotten many compliments on how much people love it. Some have even thought it was a BMW when they first see it, and I’ve had to correct them, but that’s how nice it looks.

It’s a foreign headache!

It’s expensive to fix if anything goes wrong. Some parts have to be ordered or come from overseas. I’m ready to break up with this damn car.

I’m ready to get rid of it, and yes – I named it “Maggie” when I first got it.

My last car before Maggie – was a Ford Explorer and I absolutely loved that SUV. It had so much space.

That was “Stanley”. 🤣 I figured I would try to trade Maggie in – for another Ford Explorer. My last one went into a ditch in the beginning of 2021, and I got Maggie in July 2021.

I called this car dealership near my area yesterday morning and told the guy who answered – what I was looking for. I told him if he didn’t have any Explorer’s, I’d take a decent sized family SUV that was priced right if I could trade my car in. He told me to come on in, and as soon as I walked in – we didn’t even sit down in his office to chat first.

He held up keys and handed them to me – as I thought to myself – “(This must be what celebs with tons of money feel like walking into dealers)”.

I asked what he was putting me into, and he said a 2025 Ford Explorer. He pointed to where it was located, so I could go test drive it, as I handed him my keys to test drive mine and figure out a trade-in value for it. My daughter was with me, and she made me giggle when we got into this fancy and beautiful SUV – and she said, “Let’s go to Chicago!”. I made her laugh when I told her, “I mean – he technically didn’t say where to test drive the car to! If I should happen to end up in Chicago, that wasn’t my fault because he wasn’t clear!”. 😁

I loved the SUV. The screen on it looked like the size of a laptop screen. It was a push to start – (but so is mine), and the Drive, reverse, etc. – was just a knob you turn, and it does this fancy dinging noise. I WANTED IT!!!!!

I test drove it, and my daughter asked if I was eventually going to turn around and go back, because I just kept driving and driving. I told her I was taking in the new car smell and the new car feel, but I did turn around and go back.

I walked in and told the car sales guy that I wanted it, and we talked numbers.

Here’s the thing.

As much as everything in me screamed “TAKE IT!!!!!” – and I know I truly deserve it and wanted to give it to myself as a graduation gift for the last 4 years of working my ass off for my Criminal justice degrees – another part of me was trying to scream some COMMON SENSE into my mind. Truth is – my car is almost paid off, and I don’t have that long to go – so instead of getting myself into a mess with getting a new $50,000 SUV and having years and years of more payments – I can just pay off the car I have now, and save money to drop a good down payment on something a little less expensive.

I can’t wrap my head around paying $50,000 for a brand-new SUV when I want to drop a down payment on a house this year or next year.

I really had to think about it, and I’m not rapper – rich – as I call it. I can’t just say, “I’ll take it”, and know I have a million in the bank still.

I’m a single mom – just barely getting by, and as much as I know I want it, love it and deserve it – it took everything in me to walk away from it. 🥺 He mentioned something about putting down $4,000 and leasing it for three years, and if I want to own it from there, or trade it for something else – I can do that.

I still walked away.

When I got back in my car – I was a little sad about it, but it just made sense to not get myself into another car note that would possibly be a headache in the future. I have no idea why or how cars are so expensive these days, but it’s sad what this world has come to – when it comes to money and everything being way overpriced.

Yes, I probably could have leased it if I wanted to, or even made a huge down payment on it, and taken it soon – but I know it’s not in my best interest, and I also know there’s other SUVs out there – that are way less money and are still in beautiful condition, so I passed. Not to mention – they weren’t going to give me much for my car.

I did have to laugh when I said I was so tired of the car I have now, and the sales guy mentioned that I could just leave it on the lake. I told him, “As soon as the ice starts to melt”, and we both laughed.

I still may look around and trade my car in for something bigger – better – and with less headaches or payments, but right now – I also know I want to get the hell out of Minnesota this summer, so I have to play it smart.

I’ll update on the car situation when and if “Maggie” gets traded one day soon.

*****

In other news, you all know my son and I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some small-time criminals, drug and alcoholic addicts, and some with mental health issues – right?

One of things we messed up on and did – was get close to them.

I don’t regret it because while our city doesn’t want to deal with them, and anyone who hears where they live – cringes and tries to avoid them – our staff – including my son and I – know them personally. We know that a lot of them are so sweet, amazing, helpful, funny, smart, etc. We care deeply about the tenants in our facility we work in, and we try so much to show them compassion, love, care, understanding, etc.

I say we messed up getting close to them – because it’s always heartbreaking – having to say “goodbye” to one of them if one leaves, or one passes.

A few weeks ago, we had one that passed away. We got close to her, and she was such a sweet and funny little firecracker of a person.

We then had one that decided to move out. That was sad because I looked forward to seeing her every day, or hearing her give attitude playfully and yell, “WHAT?” – every time I called her room, or she was down the hall. She’d laugh when I’d tell her, “You know what? Now I don’t want to talk to you!”.

A few days ago, one of our other tenants that I’ll call “Dave” – went to the hospital. Dave has some health issues that are getting worse, and the last two weeks – the hospital sent him right back, but a few days ago, he was admitted and was sent to ICU. He’s not doing well, and the day before last – my son and I went up to visit him – since most of our other staff did so as well.

He was sleeping when we got there, and I called his name twice before he opened his eyes, saw us and smiled. I held a straw up to his mouth, because he was struggling to drink water. They brought him his dinner, and he had us smiling when he complained – in short whispers – that he doesn’t want three meals a day.

We joked that there’s nobody to keep us on our toes at work, and he has to come back to yell at people or instigate things like he used to. He smiled.

We had a great visit, and we laughed so much when he whispered something a few times, and when we couldn’t understand him, it took everything in him to yell out, “$5!”. He wanted money. I laughed and asked where the heck he plans to go if he gets $5. He had no idea, but then he asked for his check. Our tenants get checks every month – I believe it is, so I told him they’d hold on to his checks for him – until he came back.

He had us laughing when he smiled and whispered, “Bring me my portion up here”. 😁 He’s in ICU and he can still joke around. He has Oxygen and can barely breath or talk, but he can still joke around, and I loved that. I miss that at work, and seeing him every time I walk in. Some of our tenants get alcohol portions to stop withdrawal symptoms, so that’s what he was talking about.

A few weeks ago – before he went to the hospital, I walked in at 7 AM and he was waiting for me like usual, and yelled out, “THERE SHE IS!”….but – this time – I had to tell him no. He wanted his portion, and I told him, “It’s not happening!”. He looked at me so funny and confused and asked why not. I told him I heard he hasn’t been eating breakfast or lunch, and he can’t live on alcohol alone. He got upset, but you know what he did……………..?

Marched himself right to the kitchen and ate something.

We have another guy there – a younger guy that I’ll call “Noah”. Noah is in an on and off again relationship with one of the women who live in the facility, and he gets so jealous over her, so when he found out she may be dating a new guy, he flipped out one day.

As I was trying to calm him down, Dave chimed in while he was listening, and yelled, “She’s with everyone! What is he complaining about? Leave her alone!”. My jaw dropped, and I prayed Noah didn’t hear him from across the room because it would have angered Noah even more – while I was trying to calm him down. I turned and told Dave to please behave and be quiet – as he laughed!

That’s the Dave I’ll forever remember.

Funny. Sarcastic. Loud. Vocal. Stubborn. Wild. Crazy. Fun. Silly.

I wasn’t there the night he went to the hospital, but they sent him back to the facility many times before, so I thought he’d be back. We had no idea that this time – he may not be. This time – may really be the end.

The night we were in the ICU to see him – when we said we were leaving the hospital, but we’d be back this weekend to see him again, he gave my son a fist-bump, and he grabbed my hand. I held his hand for a few minutes as he looked so tired and drained. His breathing was shallow, and he started closing his eyes. I told him to get some rest, and again -that we’d be back this weekend.

But – as I tried to pull my hand away gently, he squeezed it and wouldn’t let go. 🥺 He broke my heart when he whispered with his eyes closed – “Everyone left”. I whispered to my son that Dave wasn’t letting go, and we both felt bad. I almost wanted to pull up a chair and tell the nurses we’ll be there overnight, but we couldn’t do that.

I held his hand until I thought he was sleeping, and I tried to pull my hand away again, but he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand again – holding on once more. So, I held his hand, watched him close his eyes again, and I sat there with my son – in silence – looking at the T.V. with no sound – as we watched it.

Eventually, I did pull away slowly, and tell him we’re praying for him, and we love him.

I couldn’t turn around and look as we walked away, but my son did – and he said Dave was watching us leave with this sadness in his eyes. My son mentioned, “I don’t think he wants to be alone”. Once we left that room – the tears fell.

I cried so much. I cried on the way out of the hospital. I cried in the car. I was still crying on the way home.

I know Dave probably won’t live much longer and it crushes me.

I’ll always remember him as the vibrant, goofy man that walked around with humor, talking shit to everyone.

We do plan to go back Saturday and see him again if he’s still here on this earth, and I’m going to miss that man so much when he leaves it. 😶

*****

Before I get out of here, I have to share that today is my best friend’s 44th birthday.

Her name is Trish.

She and I met in 2nd grade when we were both 7-years-old.

We met because of the class clown, and we’ve stayed friends all these years.

We have so many funny and great memories together, and I’d be here forever if I were to share them all – but I just wanted to make you giggle and share a few of them – while also celebrating her day. 💕

The Twins (but NOT!) story:

She and I used to tell everyone we were fraternal twins. (Not identical) – obviously.

Many people believed us.

For example – in 6th grade – we had this boy James in our class who didn’t at first, and said if we were really twins, he wanted to see a photo of us when we were little. We had no idea how we were going to make that happen, but that night – my best friend Trish – called me and told me, “I have an idea!”. Her cousins were fraternal twins, and she had a photo of them when they were babies.

One has blonde hair and blueish eyes, which Trish has – and one has brown hair and Hazel eyes – which I have, so she brought that photo to school the next day and showed James. He absolutely believed us after that – thinking that was us when we were babies, so we started telling more people who didn’t know us – that we were fraternal twins. (James was new at the time) and didn’t really know us.

We went to the mall one day, and we were in the photo booth taking photos. When we got out of it, an elderly woman smiled at us – as she sat on the bench next to it – enjoying her ice cream. She said her and best friend used to do the same thing when they were our ages.

We were teenagers at the time, and we started talking to her and told her we were actually fraternal twins. She asked when our birthday was, and without really thinking about it, I told her my real birthday and Trish told her when her birthday was. Mine is in June. Trish’s – January, so of course – the lady asked, “Well, how are you fraternal twins if your birthdays are six months apart?”. We just looked at each other, laughed and realized we needed to get our birthdays straight if we were going to pretend to be twins.

After that, we settled on some birthday – same day and agreed to tell people that was ours. 😁

We’ve even been STEP-SISTERS! (Story).

We went to high school together and we always told the teachers we were stepsisters.

Nobody ever questioned it.

One day, our homeroom teacher said he had to have a talk with our parents because we had both been cutting classes, and he wanted our parents to know. He asked who he should get ahold of, and because we said her dad was married to my mom, the homeroom teacher said he would probably call them both.

We had NO IDEA what to say or do – but we were sure that our little “stepsisters” story was about to end.

Oddly enough, my mom and her dad said they would come in, but lucky for us – they would be there at different times that same day – as they both worked. They had no idea we were telling teachers we were stepsisters.

So, her dad came in first.

I was headed back from my locker and while I was walking down the hall to homeroom – Trish was standing outside the room with the teacher and her dad. We both gave each other scared and nervous looks, as we smirked and we both heard the teacher tell her dad, “Her and her stepsister”. We still don’t think her dad heard it to this day because he didn’t say anything about it, but MY MOM – she caught it fast.

When the teacher told her, “Her and her stepsister” – my mother was confused and asked, “STEPSISTER? She doesn’t have a stepsister!”. My mom was the one who ended that stepsister stuff.

🤣

“CHAT ROOM? WHAT’S THAT?”

One of the best memories we have together – is one 4th of July when I went to her house a few years back, and we were sitting on the porch having a few drinks – while my kids played with her nieces and nephew.

Next door to her – there was a teenage boy who lived there, and he liked to come outside and bug us whenever I was there. This one day, he was outside – and he kept running his mouth trying to insult us and make us mad. We kept ignoring him because we’re two grown ass women – who could care less about a teenager talking shit to us. lol.

When he said, “You guys are so old, you probably used AOL chat rooms before, and you were around when they were around!” – Trish had me laughing so hard when she asked him, “What’s an AOL chat room?”, and said that sounds fun.

He looked so shocked and asked, “You don’t know what a chat room online is? For real?”. She said no and asked how to use one. We were laughing and laughing, and this teenage couldn’t believe it. He started explaining chat rooms to us and said we can talk with people on the Internet. Trish laughed so much when I asked this teenage boy, “What the hell is the Internet?”. He looked at us shocked, placed his hand on his face and said, “This is going to be a long day!”. Trish asked – through laughter – “What’s this Chat you speak of?”.

He really believed we had no idea, and he ended up shaking his head, told us “You guys are hopeless”, and went inside – as we laughed the entire time. He probably called his friends and told them, “The middle-aged women next door have no idea what the internet or chat rooms are! Can you believe that?”. 🤣🤣🤣

Of course we do! We were in AOL chat rooms on the internet before he was even though of! ha.

“The BOX – phone bill problem“:

Another memory I’ll never forget and we still laugh about – is when we were teenagers and back then in the early 90’s – the BOX (Channel 13) I believe it was – was super popular.

The BOX – was where you could call in on your landline phone, dial three numbers to any video you wanted to see – as the numbers to those videos scrolled at the bottom of the screen, and they’d play those videos you requested. The cool thing was – you could see people’s video choice numbers being typed in as people called in. The bad thing was – each video cost between .99 – $3.99 and would charge your parents phone bills.

We didn’t realize that when we were calling to request videos.

When my mom got her phone bill one month and she called me downstairs SCREAMING – because it was over $300 – she was SO MAD and demanded to know what THE BOX was. I got grounded, and she ended up having our phone company block THE BOX phone number.

My best friend was there when my mom yelled at me and got the phone bill, so I laughed when she told me she better go home and see if her parents got their phone bill.

Good times!

“Shaving cream gone wrong!”

Our 8th grade graduation field trip – was to Springfield, IL. – to go see Lincoln’s home and some other places.

The night before, I spent that night at Trish’s, so we could leave at 5:30 AM together, walk to school and be there on time to get on the buses with our class.

We couldn’t sleep because we were excited and kept talking all night and watching movies.

Finally, around 3 AM – we started getting tired, and felt like we should probably go to sleep, but she had the idea of grabbing shaving cream, going into her brother’s room, and putting it all over his head. She did that, and at 4 AM when we decided to get one hour of sleep – her brother came out of his room, sat on the couch and we couldn’t stop laughing.

He called us idiots. He asked why we were laughing. He told us we were stupid. He told us we have problems.

We were laughing too hard to care what he was saying – as we saw all the shaving cream spread out all over his hair.

Finally, he went to use the bathroom, saw all the shaving cream in the mirror, and went to tell their father.

Their father woke up, had him wash his hair, and screamed at us.

Their father told us we had to be up early and should be sleeping, not messing around. He yelled that we were immature, and he shouldn’t be up dealing with our bullshit at that time of morning. He went on and on.

But………….

When Trish’s brother went back to his bedroom, their dad looked and made sure he was in there – before he looked at us, smiled and whispered, “Next time – do it right! You put it in his hand and tickle his nose!”. We laughed so much, as their dad giggled and went back to bed. 😁

We’ve had so many fun memories, and we’ve always been there for each other through some the toughest times in our lives.

I am so grateful for our friendship and that it’s lasted 32+ years and still going strong, so today – I want to say a very big

to my best friend, Trish!

Your friendship has gotten me through so much, and while I keep my circle small these days – I am so happy to still have you in it. 💕

I love you, TWIN / Stepsister. haha.

Some fun photos of us.

This is when she grabbed my little guy when he was just a baby and rocked him to sleep.

Trish always says she doesn’t like kids, so on this day – I told her it looks like she LOVES them. She laughed and told me, “Only when I can rock them to sleep and hand them back to their parents!”.

I believe this was the 4th of July when the kid next door had to explain what AOL CHAT and the internet were. Kid, we were AMERICA ONLINE and AOL chat long before your parents thought you into existence.

One of my favorite photos of us! 🙂

To everyone else, I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend.

The weather is starting to get decent, but you never know around this damn state.

Love you!

💕Shel💕

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

January 2, 2026January 2, 2026 Shel R.6 Comments

So, how did everyone’s New Years Eve go?

Mine was laid back and chill.

I grabbed pizza for the kids before I came home, and I planned to get a bottle of wine for myself, but I actually skipped that.

The kids ate and my sons were in bed early, so they knocked out and I didn’t even wake them up for the ball drop, or anything. I let them sleep, because as long as they were warm, safe and peaceful – if they wanted to bring in the NEW YEAR with snores – I was all good with that. 😁 My daughter and I stayed up the whole time watching the NEW YORK events, performers, people, and then what we thought – was going to be the ball drop.

Anyone else disappointed we didn’t get to see that?

After the countdown – the view went to the crowd and confetti.

I think many people have mentioned something about not seeing it, and how odd that was.

Either way – we then watched the little bit of LIVE streaming Chicago had going on for their first ever ball drop, and we were disappointed to know that while (Chance the Rapper) was hosting it and performing a bit, he wasn’t seen much from what people in Chi-town are saying. Still, I heard the fireworks were beautiful and the city was peaceful that night. ❤️

I heard a few other music artists were down there as well. The ones who are from Chi.

Many years back – Chance the Rapper – donated a good amount of money to some Chicago area schools, and one of them – was my older daughter’s school – (Benito Juarez Community academy HS) – in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood. My older daughter still went there at the time, so she was so excited to tell people that her school was one of them on the list.

I’ll always have love for Chance – and any other rapper / artist who decides to give back to their cities that they came from.

Once we watched the celebrations in NY and Chicago, and they were over – Kailani and I wished each other a Happy New Year, and we both went to our rooms and knocked out.

No selfies that night. No loud music. No wine.

Just living in the moment and relaxing.

She did have to make it known – as soon as the New Year hit – that she will be “graduating this year”, and She will be turning 18. I’m a little sad about that, but we’ll deal with that when those two major events roll around.

So…..

Did you make any resolutions for 2026?

Let me share some of mine.

Weight loss:

I’ve been on this journey for years now, and I keep messing it up.

This year, it has to be taken seriously because I’ll be 44, and my kids need me to stick around a lot longer.

I’m not young anymore, and if I want to be there for them for many more years, this is one way to guarantee it.

When I lived in Chicago and then moved to Minnesota, I was slim. I was active. I enjoyed working out and being on the move all the time.

When my oldest child was taken from this earth, that’s when things got bad. Really bad.

I stopped working out. I wasn’t active for a long time, because I just wanted to be in bed all day.

I would shower, go to work, and do nothing after.

I wasn’t eating right. I was drinking. I was depressed, angry, confused, and had so many questions that I’d never get the answers to. Things got bad for years, and I just didn’t care, so instead of cooking homemade meals like I used to and doing things outdoors, or going places – I’d pick up fast food, eat, and go to sleep.

I’d take care of my kids of course. Took them to school, helped with homework, made sure they ate meals, made sure laundry was done and the house was clean all the time, but – other than what I had to do – there was no working out, or taking care of “being fit” because my oldest was gone. I didn’t have a will to live, or to care about me. So, I gained weight, and kept gaining because I wasn’t active anymore, and I was eating whatever, drinking whatever. Sleeping for hours.

In 2025 – I promised myself it’s time to get back to the old me. The me who worked out. Who was active. Who didn’t even have time to eat because I was making so much money and had dreams / goals, and ambitions.

2025 – just helped me heal a little more, and to finally accept that my oldest was gone, and I’ll never get those answers I felt like I needed. That I wanted. That I struggled so hard to get from whatever happened that night she was killed. 2025 – I knew I needed to get back on my “A-GAME” and get my money right – get my fitness back together – and make sure I was taking care of me as well – because I have kids, and you can’t pour from an empty glass, right?

I was drained for years. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

2025 – taught me that I’ve been down and out for too long, and it was time to get my ass back to God, and to get back on my feet after years of struggling with depression, anger, and a pain no parent should ever have to go through.

2026 – THIS YEAR – This is for me. This comeback is personal. This year – I’m doing everything I plan to do, and that includes getting fit again. Eating better. Thinking better. Living better.

Okay, so we have an event tomorrow and my kids made me promise them McDonald’s after. 🤣

And – we still have leftover Christmas cookies. So, I promised myself that on the 4th – I was going to plug in the treadmill that usually holds clean clothes that need to be hung up when they come out of the dryer – and I am going to get my ass on there every day – maybe twice a day.

I said I was going to go for more walks, drink more water, and eat right this year.

I’m going to 100% get out of this funk I’ve been in for years now and get back to the me that I was when I lived in Chicago, and when I first moved here.

I do need to lose this weight I gained over the years, and while some people will look at me and tell me I’m crazy or there’s not much to lose, I can see it and feel it, and I want it gone. So, that’s a goal I plan to accomplish this year. To at least – get back down to what I was when I packed up my life in IL. and moved to MN.

For anyone trying to do the same – let me also say that while it’s NOT easy trying to eat right, exercise and lose weight – cheat days are okay, as long as you only have ONE of them here and there, and it’s okay to NOT exercise everyday – as long as when the next day comes – you get up and go at it again. 😊

Moving to civilization:

Another 2026 New Years resolution I have – is to move my kids and I – closer to civilization.

The little town we live in is dead. I mean – dead. dead.

We don’t have much around here, and everything is usually closed down by 8 PM or earlier.

Everyone is in each other’s business. If you do something, people are going to know before you blink an eye.

Gossip travels fast.

Everyone knows everyone or is related to everyone.

Last names matter here.

This little town is boring and there’s not much to do, unless you want to drive miles and miles away, hours and hours away, and have to travel back home again.

In the nearest bigger “town” – we have two or five of everything.

There’s no variety of anything here.

We have two McDonald’s. Two Burger Kings. Three Starbucks. FOUR Caribou coffees, and a bunch of random pizza places all within 5-10 minutes of each other. We have a bunch of banks, and car washes, but nothing really for kids to do.

No real stores. We have everything on repeat, and our mall is just as dead as these towns.

In Chicago, there were so many good food places, and a huge variety of cultural choices.

In Chicago, there are tons of stores upon stores of different kinds, and they’re all so close together and you don’t have to travel miles or hours to find something for the kids to do. There are tons of places for kids to go in IL.

I thought I wanted the country life – until I got it – and was hit with the reality of it. ha.

Now – I know why people leave small country towns for bigger cities.

So, in the next two months – I plan to buy a bunch of bins, pack up everything we don’t use right now or need out, and put them in these bins. I plan to stack them up in a corner somewhere and get rid of things we don’t want to keep or need. I plan to have the kids do the same in their bedrooms and get rid of what they don’t need or want, pack up things they’re taking with us when we move, and get everything ready.

In April – I plan to start looking for work near a place in Wisconsin – closer to IL. or – in a suburb near my aunt and uncles in IL. because I love it there, and drop the money on a place, so when my youngest daughter graduates, there’s a moving truck in the parking lot and we already have a place to move to.

We are so ready to get out of here and get back to a variety of food places – (although I don’t need that while trying to hit my weight loss goal), a variety of stores, and things to do. We’re ready to get back to being closer to friends and family. We’re so ready to get back to places being open late, or 24 hours in some spots. We’re so ready to be where there’s better job opportunities, and more money.

We’re just ready to go.

So – this month and next – are going to be filled with packing and cleaning up the apartment we’re in now, and April – will be the month of searching for a place and dropping money on it – so when May comes, we’re starting over – somewhere else, and leaving 6 long years in Minnesota – in the dust.

I think the first year of this place was our happiest, and after that – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into moving to this small town. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, I love hearing the cows next door “moo” when I open the windows and they’re out. Yes, I love hearing the gunshots when it’s hunting season, but – I’m just ready to be around the familiar places, people, and things I grew up with back home.

No, I don’t want to move directly into Chicago, but yes, it will be nice to be at least an hour from family and friends – and not almost 10 hours.

So, that’s a resolution of mine this year.

Getting the hell out of dodge and going back towards who and what we know.

Career:

There are no career opportunities where we are now, and one of my biggest New Years resolutions – is to be offered a job as a probation officer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I had a probation officer – which is a story for another time.

Since then – I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to become one and help other juveniles change their lives – like she helped me. Like many people just like her – including a few cops I met along the way – helped me.

Oddly enough, they don’t need probation officers in our little area – even though there are plenty of kids who are in need of one, but we only have a few.

I was so excited the beginning of this year when I was still in school for my BA degree in Criminal Justice, and I applied for and was offered an internship for probation, but – because my school and the county needed to create a contract for me to do this, and it took forever – I was graduating before I ever got to do the internship. I was literally a few weeks away from graduation when a contract was finally set, but by then – it was too late because the internship would go towards my credits and I already had those.

I was bummed, but hopefully – knowing there’s so many career opportunities in bigger cities I’ve been looking into moving to – maybe it will finally happen for me.

If not, at least there’s more opportunities for other positions in the field I went to school for.

I love the job I have now – dealing with those who were once homeless, who are alcoholics, drug addicts, have mental health issues, etc. but – it’s not my dream career and the pay sucks. I do it because I love it, and I love the people, but it’s not forever.

Stepping into my dream career for 2026 – is a goal of mine.

Debts:

This year is going to be the year that I will work two or three jobs if I have to – or pick up a side hustle – to get myself debt – free. I don’t have a lot of debt, but I do plan to pay off my car and trade it in this year to treat myself to a little graduation gift – since I completed both degrees over the last 4 years and haven’t done anything nice for myself to celebrate both degrees.

This year is going to be the year that I work my ass off and pay off whatever I need to – to make sure that my only debt – is my new SUV if I get one, a mortgage if I’m able to drop some money on a house this year or next, and my basic bills. I don’t think that’s too much to set as a goal, is it?! This year is the year that I don’t want to worry about any finances, and I just want to live my best life with my kids.

This is the year that I want to do more traveling, see more places, and do more things with them.

This is the year I want to say, “Yes – I have extra money. Let’s go out this weekend!” and really mean it!

I want all my debts cleared, and I don’t want to worry about anything this year, except what the kids and I are doing on my days off.

God:

A good friend of mine and I were talking a while back and we both decided to start reading the BIBLE more this year. To really study it and write down our favorite quotes and scriptures, stories, lessons, etc. and not just read it – but REALLY read it and focus on it. We plan to talk about it, share our thoughts with each other, and make it our “go-to” when life is kicking our asses.

We both said our souls are a mess and we need to get right with God. lol.

We found it hilarious yesterday when I left her a message saying, “Get your Bible ready. This is our year. We said we were going to do this”, and I told her what I plan to do, and without listening to my message – she sent me almost the same thing, so we took it as a sign that God is up there like, “Let’s go girls! It’s time!”. haha.

I feel like this year, I need to trust God more and stop trying to run everything.

These are just some of my goals for the year. Some of my New Years reslutions.

What are yours?

If you want to hear a funny story about God – let me share this with you before I get out of here. 😁

On Christmas Eve, my son got paid and asked if he could use my car to do some last-minute shopping and run a few places. I let him, but because my car needs work – I told him not to go far.

He was headed to the nearest bigger city 30 minutes away, and I got a phone call from my daughter. She went with him.

I answered and I heard a police officer loud and clear in the background but couldn’t hear what he was saying or what was going on. My heart dropped!

You know my oldest was killed in a car accident, and now my other two children just took my car – and I get a call and just hear the cop talking. Finally, I heard my son say, “Is mom on the phone?”. My daughter said yeah, and she said, “Hello?”. I kept saying hello before she said her first hello, and I was so relieved to hear both of their voices. I asked her what was going on. She said she had me on speaker, and that they got pulled over.

I was so grateful it was just that and that they didn’t get into an accident or hit a deer.

I was so grateful they were both okay.

The officer got on the phone and said the reason he pulled my son over – was because the tabs were expired.

I told him the car has been giving issues, so I try not to drive it a lot, but I just ordered the new tabs online and that I have the insurance on my phone if he wanted me to send proof to my daughter, so she could show him. He said that would be great, so I did.

He gave my son a warning about driving without the new tabs and the insurance card on him, and he let them go.

My son came back home, and they told me that the officer told him that I also have to take the cross I have – off my rearview mirror. He said it’s an “obstruction to view”. It’s a small cross that says, “For he will command his angels to guard you in all your ways”.

I told Frankie it’s not coming down.

Frankie (my older son) asked if I was seriously going to leave it up. I sure am!

He asked what I was going to do if that same cop stops me next time and tells me the same thing.

Me to said cop if it happens: “That battle is between you and God when you get up there, but it’s not going anywhere. I’ll take the ticket, but don’t cry when you have to answer to that man up there when you meet him”. 😁

I had my kids laughing, but I thought it was funny.

Good Lord, I’m just glad they are okay because I panicked that day.

I have to get out of here and get ready to start my day, but you all have a beautiful weekend…

and I love you!

❤️Shel❤️

Back in 1982 and the Pros and cons of work recently.

December 23, 2025 Shel R.14 Comments

Daily writing prompt

Share what you know about the year you were born.

View all responses

I haven’t done one of these WP prompts for a while, so here we go.

I will honestly say I don’t know much about the year I was born – except that all of my family was all still alive, healthy and so close. That has since changed, many of have passed, and family no longer gets together like they used to.

So, I had to look up some fun facts, wild history events, etc. that happened in 1982 – (the year I was born), and found these interesting facts.

I had no idea Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne were born in the same year, but that was interesting to learn.

I listen to Nicki here and there, but I’m a huge fan of Lil Wayne and his songs. (Especially his song MIRROR).

Those popular songs from 1982 – are all still amazing today. Physical, Survivor, I love Rock ‘N Roll – they all still play on the radio, and my grandma Ann LOVED Katherine Hepburn, so it was nice reading all of this.

Reading what things costs back when I was born – had me shocked. Everything was so cheap.

I still owe $10,000 on my car, so to see that a car back then – fully cost $9,903 – makes me wonder what the hell happened that prices of new cars these days are $30,000 + if you want a BRAND new one in most places.

Mine was $30,000 – and I realize now that I could have gotten something bigger and a better, but I still love my car. It’s crazy expensive for no reason though. To think that I would have had it paid off by now if it were 1982 – blows my mind.

A house was $83,000 + ….and now, good houses are anywhere from $279,000 and up.

I’m just throwing average numbers out there, but houses are NOT cheap anymore.

Groceries have gone up like crazy since then.

Gas is up.

It’s sad to see how much times have changed. Even the music now – compared to 1982 – is sad.

I do giggle when I see that M*A*S*H. was one of the most popular T.V shows back then, because my mother hated that show, so whenever she watched her programs and that came on, we knew it was time to turn the T.V. off and do something else. My grandma watched that show and it was boring. However, my grandma LOVED the show DALLAS as well.

Michael Jackson released (Thriller), and E.T. became a popular movie.

I wanted to know more about what happened in 1982 because now I was curious, and I found this video.

That’s all I have.

There’s some history for you.

I could sit here and do more research, but I have to eventually get ready to take the kids to school and get to work. 😊

Today is the last day of school for the kids, and then Winter break starts.

I can’t believe we’re two days away from Christmas – which reminds me to order everything for Christmas dinner today.

I’m still shopping for gifts from “Santa” for the little guy, and stocking stuffers for the kids, and I’ll finally be finished. Of course, you know darn good and well that I plan to get myself a bottle of wine, and enjoy the last gift wrapped tomorrow night. I’m off work tomorrow and Christmas day, thankfully!

Yesterday, we took gifts to Elijah’s teachers, his Kindergarten teacher from many years ago, and his 2nd grade teacher. I mentioned that his 1st grade teacher moved out of state, but his past teachers loved his gifts, and they were so happy. Elijah was so happy to give gifts. He’s like me. He enjoys seeing people happy. ❤️

My car goes in for service today, and I’m praying it’s just a simple fix.

I think that’s all the life updates I have.

🙄

At work – we lost a woman I became close to. She was an alcoholic, and she knew her liver was failing, but she continued to drink. She was one of the tenants at the facility I work in.

I remember when I first met her. I’ll call her “Shannon”.

She was feisty. She was playful and fun, and she put her fists up acting like she was ready to fight.

We laughed about, and ever since that day a few months ago – I always called her “my homegirl”, or “my girl”. I’d tell her boyfriend – (who also lives in the facility) – not to come downstairs without my girl. So, he’d go back and get her. We used to make each other laugh and she was such a sweet firecracker. She didn’t take no shit.

We do portions at work – for some of the tenants – where we give small bits of alcohol, so they don’t deal with the withdrawals, and there was one time I had to deny her the portion she was supposed to get because when I breathalyzed her, she was over her limit. She made me giggle when she told me, “I don’t care! I got Vodka in my room”, and she strolled away, so me denying her – didn’t matter, but I knew at least – I was doing my job.

She was spunky, usually smiling or joking around, and happy.

I never expected that a few weeks ago, I’d be taking her to the hospital because she wasn’t doing well, and we’d have our very last conversation.

On the way to the hospital, we were talking and she said something about me having an accent.

I didn’t hear her, so I asked, “I have an accent?”. I knew she said something about one, but I didn’t know what. She yelled and replied with, “YOU DO! I SAID YOU DO HAVE AN ACCENT!”. And then – she apologized for yelling it and said she’s just in a lot of pain.

She ended up being released from the hospital and coming back to the facility about 2 weeks ago and she was so angry when she said her boyfriend offered her a drink. She denied it, because she didn’t want to die. She knew it was getting serious, and the next day after her release – she was right back in the hospital for the very last time.

Her boyfriend has been walking the halls in the facility, sitting at the front by the office, or coming down just to occupy his time, get his mind of her, and kept asking if she was going to be okay. Sunday, he came up to me and asked, “She’ll get better, right?”. I knew what I SHOULD have said, but my heart broke for him and I told him, “I’m not sure. All I can tell you is that she probably won’t be back here”. He said she has a lot of dreamcatchers, and he’d like his favorite one out of her room if that’s the case, so he could remember her. I asked our lead staff if we can do that for him, and I was given permission.

My son works with me on the weekends, so he went and made sure that on Sunday, her boyfriend was able to take his favorite dreamcatcher. I also asked our nurse if she could make him a copy of Shannon’s picture from her medication box, and the nurse was all for it. 💕🥺

Last night, one of my co-workers called me and said she’s helping our boss make phone calls.

I thought I was in trouble for something, but she told me she just wanted to let me know that “Shannon passed”.

I asked if her boyfriend knew yet, and she said after phone calls, she’ll be on her way to let him know.

We’ve been dragging it out for so long and not wanting to tell him the full extent of what we knew about her, and we tried to just ease his mind and tell him very little – but yesterday – we had to fully tell him like it is, and our nurse talked to him, told him the truth, and let him go to the hospital to say his goodbyes.

This shit is never easy, especially when you work in a facility or setting where you get to know everyone, get close to people, learn their stories, know they’ve had hard lives, and then see them go through things like this – or pass.

Last night when I found out, I sat in my bedroom and shed a few tears, and then whispered, “Fly high my girl!”.

I laugh – imagining her meeting God the same way she was the day I first met her – with her fists up, pretending to want to fight and saying, “Let’s go!”. lol. Just a little humor in this dark world – where we’ll all have our day eventually.

I pray for her family. I pray for her boyfriend who has been so lost without her. I pray for my co-workers who knew her much longer than I have, and for all those who loved her.

*****

Work is so rewarding, and I love my job, but it can also be stressful and sad at times.

Saturday, my son told me one of our other tenants was on the phone and she was in tears.

I found out one of her family members passed.

As she made arrangements to go with family for a few days, she sat and waited for hours for them to come and get her and her anxiety was through the roof. When she was leaving, I opened my arms to give her a big hug. She laughed when she said she smelled like shit because she hasn’t showered yet. I told her in a funny way, “I don’t give a damn! Come give me a hug Stinky butt!”. We hugged so tight and I asked her to please take care of herself and be good while she’s gone.

I know it’s so easy for these amazing men and women to relapse when times are tough like this, or to do something stupid they may regret because they’re not fully thinking, and I hate the times I have to watch them go through things that life throws at them – when they’re already dealing with the choices they’ve made and the positions they’re in now. 💔

On the plus side – when I can make them smile, laugh, or feel like someone cares – that makes me feel good, and I love doing what I can for them.

One of the women there told me that her cat was out of food, and I know she didn’t want to tell anyone or burden anyone with it, so she kept coming to the office to get some of our Chicken packs. I went and got her cat some treats and food, and we both laughed so much when she said treats are like a drug to that cat and I asked if this means I’m her cats “drug dealer now”.

Another woman I’ve gotten close to – keeps asking for this one Maroon Puma hoodie I have because she loves it so much. I joke with her and tell her she’s not getting my hoodie, and I love it, too! Yesterday at work, I had a piece of paper that fell into my sleeve, so I took my arm out of the sleeve to shake it out and she was standing by me. She got happy and thought I was going to take the hoodie off and give it to her. 🤣 This is the second time I’ve worn it there and she tried to get it.

I love the hoodie, but today – when I go in – I am going to hand it over to her.

It’s the little things, and if I can put a smile on their faces, I’ll do what I can. If it makes their day a little brighter, I’m all for it.

I’m going to miss that hoodie! 😶 Still, her happiness will be worth it.

This is why I say Kindness is so important.

I’d love to sit here and write more, but it’s time to make sure the kids are ready for school and for me to get ready for work.

Pray that my car issues is a simple fix – as my son will be dropping me off at work and taking my car in, and that Christmas hurries up because I’m almost ready to get it over with. ha.

Love ya!

💕Shel💕

Christmas, some late-night chatter, and holiday Kindness.

December 19, 2025December 19, 2025 Shel R.4 Comments

As we all know …. There’s only a few days left until Christmas.

I just started shopping for my son’s teacher and getting her gift bag together, but also – gift bags for his 2nd grade teacher (who we miss dearly since he left 2nd grade) and his Kindergarten teacher (because she was awesome as well). 😚 His 1st grade teacher moved to another state this year.

I keep in touch with his 2nd grade teacher, and she actually made me smile one day when I stopped into her classroom to say hi at the beginning of his 3rd grade year, and she told me she follows me on Tiktok. 😁 She said I make her day whenever I post, and it made me happy knowing I can do that for anyone who follows me on socials.

I just have fun with it, and post random videos.

Anyway, I’ll be getting the teachers gifts together today and then I’ll start to finish up Elijah’s Christmas goody bags for his class. We do it every year, so he can bring in some fun stuff to hand to each kid with cupcakes and juice, etc. Within the next few days, I’ll also be preparing gifts for my boss, and a few people at work, and of course – finishing up gifts from Santa – to my little dude. ❤️

When I tell you that I can’t wait to sit on the couch at midnight – when the house is silent, the kids are in bed on Christmas eve, all is finished and I can enjoy a glass of wine in peace – I MEAN THAT!!!! lol.

This year has kicked my ass and I’m so glad 2025 is almost over. When I ring in 2026 with my kids this year – I’ll shed a few tears, and smile because I got through it with my sanity, faith and many prayers.

I pray 2026 is good to me and my kids and that we have many blessings next year, because life has been a bully the last few years. Ha. I’m ready for changes, and new beginnings.

If you want to laugh… I’ve been looking for houses in suburban Illinois near my aunt and uncle (who we are close to), and I found one I absolutely love!!!

My bank does mortgage loans, and has their own home inspection agents, Real estate agents, and so on – so I applied for a mortgage loan a few days ago, and my bank called me yesterday to talk about it.

When the guy said, “Thank you for being such a great customer of ours since 2015”, I was so confused. That’s a long damn time! I’ve been saying I’ve been with my bank for 6 years, but I didn’t even realize it’s been 10! We’ll – hot damn……

No really! I feel old.

🤗

So, I’m approved for the mortgage loan, right?

No! No, that’s not how it works and it’s not that easy, but I wish!

Technically, they like to see that you have a stable job / income in the state you plan to move to, or at least an offer of a job in that state you plan to buy a home in – saying when you’re starting, how much you’ll make, etc. They also like to see that it’s a salary position and they can work with that – as I was told.

If I wanted to buy a house here in Minnesota, it would probably be easier – since I have that income, and I’m in the state I want to buy in, but no. I don’t want to buy here.

I work in Minnesota, so it’s hard for them to get me approved for a mortgage on this house I fell in love with in Illinois – if I’m not working in Illinois and don’t have a job offer out there, yet. I figured as much and I was expecting that, but part of me really wanted to have a house already, so that when we leave where we are now – we’re moving into our own place and not renting.

Can that still happen? Yes! However, I won’t be applying for jobs in Illinois or close to it – for a few months – while I wait for my daughter’s graduation to get closer. Do I expect the home buying process to be easy? Hell no! “Easy” is not how my life goes! 🤣 I’m sure the house I fell in love with – will be sold by then, but it was a nice feeling – finally finding something I truly wanted!

Hey! At least I know when I’m back in Illinois, close to it or at least have a job offer out there next year, my bank is ready to help me get a house! Maybe things won’t go as smoothly as I’d like them to, but – I trust God and if it’s meant to be, it will happen – eventually.

Listen. I’ve never wanted to own a house because I didn’t want the headaches that come with it, but after renting where I am now for almost 6 years and the stuff I’ve dealt with, I’m so ready to never have to deal with a landlord again.

So, wish me luck and pray for me as I work my ass off to get through Christmas and finish shopping, fill the kids’ stockings, and maybe fill my own with some fun things I like – and also – as I try to get through the rest of 2025 without screaming in the middle of a cornfield somewhere. (Although – that may make the end of 2025 a little better!). 🧐

It’s 2 AM and I’m awake.

I went to bed super early yesterday because it was snowing, the roads were icy, and I didn’t feel like driving anywhere. My son’s – made me smile when they used the projector I gave them as an early Christmas gift – to play video games together all day – on the wall – where they set it up, and my daughter did laundry and watched movies because both of my kids had a snow day (a day off school) yesterday.

………. Which is why I was in bed early, and why I’m up at 2 AM.

I’ll eventually go back to sleep, but until I do – here I am – entertaining you! (Are you up right now with me?).

In other news, right after the holidays are over – I’ll be catching up on different things, working on getting my car fixed and paying it off to trade it in, and probably packing up the rest of our things we don’t use or need right now – to be ready to move.

Life is about to go really fast for us, and I’m hoping our new adventures all work out and treat us kindly.

My daughter will be looking at colleges soon and getting into an EMS program. She’ll be working on getting her permit (She was so close but failed a few times) and got discouraged…. but life goes on, we try things again and never give up.

I’ve thought about home-schooling my little dude and that’s something I’m looking into next year (as one of my good friends highly encouraged it) because she used to home school her kids for years and loved it. She made me laugh because she just recently sent her kids to public school after being against it for so long and she’s the one who finally got me into to thinking about home-schooling. I asked her why she put her kids in school and she made me laugh when she said she never gets time alone to herself, and her kids need to socialize and make actual friends besides the ones on the local baseball team.

There’s a lot of changes happening next year, a lot of decisions will be made – from colleges for the daughter, to possibly trying home-schooling the little dude and getting him on a baseball team (as he wants to do so badly), maybe buying a house, a career change as I finally try to get into my dream job – and upgrading the vehicle.

We all know plans don’t work out the way we want them to or plan for them to, and that God is in control, so while all of the planning is great and I have an idea of how I want 2026 to go, God may have other plans and I just have to continue to keep my sanity, faith and prayers going.

I was watching “The War room” on Netflix yesterday and the way Ms. Clara yelled:

I think I’ll be alright in 2026 – as the last few years have been hell.

I hope God fights for me in every area of my life next year.

I trust God to take us into 2026 with all the blessings we deserve, and I just have to trust that if I go him in prayer, he’ll fight for me and he’ll make next year a lot better than the last few. I’m manifesting it!

Baby, we should all have a “WAR ROOM”, and go to God with all our battles, worries, problems, etc. and then get out of the way to let him handle everything.

It’s a cute movie by the way.

May I also say that I think we all need a “Ms. Clara” in our lives?!!!!

Enough about 2026 though – I hope and pray that as Christmas and New Year’s rolls around; you find yourself in good health, happy, ready to make needed changes, make better decisions, and ready to celebrate all the blessings you have in your life.

I hope you get to spend it with family, friends, loved ones – and that you all have a safe and great holiday season. ❤️

Later, I’ll be sitting on the floor going through all the gifts I brought the kids and making sure they each have an equal amount. Usually – I count as I wrap and place them under the tree, but I didn’t do that this year.

I’ll also be shopping for Christmas dinner, and since we didn’t do a Turkey for Thanksgiving because the kids wanted Chicken tacos – we’re doing a Turkey for Christmas. I plan to try my hand at a sweet potato casserole, and my mom used to make this delicious cake / chocolate pudding / cool whip / nuts dessert that my kids absolutely loved and miss, so I plan to try to make it like she did.

I truly wish I knew how to make my grandma (Yia-Yia’s) lumpy chocolate pudding, but I used to ask her for the recipe, and she used to joke that she was taking it with her to the grave. I miss that!!! She DID take it with her to the grave, and I never found out how she made it so good with lumps of Chocolate in it. She made it for me on many holidays when I’d ask her for it.

I miss my mom’s veggie pizza, and I may try to make that as well.

I miss the way holidays used to be when everyone was alive, happy, and always got together for these special occasions. 🥺

Anyway – as I finish up shopping, prepare to shop for Christmas dinner and dessert, put gifts together and wrap, and finally get to celebrate with a glass of wine on Christmas Eve – I pray all of you have a blessed one, and that if life is kicking your ass like it is mine – that you take everything to God in prayer, move out of the way and let him handle it for you.

I hope he does.

I know a lot of people are struggling right now, but if you have your health, a few close people, and you’re still alive – be grateful!

Let me also finish this by saying that if you’re in a position to help those who are struggling or dealing with life right now and you know they’re having a rough time, PLEASE offer to help where and when you can.

Some single parents are stretching their budgets and letting some bills go to make Christmas magical for their kids. Some people are in hospitals and won’t be home for Christmas, or overseas. Some people are going through divorces, losing everything they have, or can’t go home to be with family – so just be kind to everyone because you never know what someone is dealing with, or what they had to go through to make it through the holiday season this year.

Recently, I was talking to a good friend of mine and she mentioned she is always helping others, but nobody helps her. She said she has such a big heart and a weak spot for those who need anything, and when she needs something, nobody jumps in to help or offers their assistance. I told her I know the feeling, because I’ve helped so many and I could be at my lowest and those who I know could have helped – watched me struggle instead.

We talked about Karma and how we’re waiting for our good Karma to come back around to us that we’ve dished out for others, and I told her, “Maybe Karma isn’t here on earth for us! Maybe our good Karma is when we pass, and God opens the gates of heaven for us, no questions asked because he knows what we’ve done for others here on earth, and that will be our good Karma. Making it into heaven, and God not even blinking an eye when he ushers us in”.

We giggled about it, but it’s the truth.

So, never stop being a good person – even if nobody is around to help you when you need it.

HELP SOMEONE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON and if you see them struggling – don’t wait for them to ask. Just be a good person and do something nice for them!

For those grieving this holiday season – I know the feeling, and I’m sending you such big hugs, and lots of love, but can you imagine the huge celebration and laughter that heaven has – with all of our loved ones up there?! They’re not missing earth, and for that – I smile. 💕 You should, too!

Let me get out of here and go back to bed. I have to be up early to get the kids to school, and go get the teacher’s gifts ready, as I rush to finish gifts from Santa as I said, plan dinner – and just making the last weeks of 2025 – bearable.

Again, do something kind for others this holiday season and be nice – even if it’s just paying for someone’s meal, buying them a coffee if you’re in front of them in line at the local Starbucks, or visiting a local shelter and donating some food, gifts, etc.

I love ya!

❤️Shel❤️