Tag: happiness

Senior Ditch Day – almost to the finish line and talking about Ella (The niece).

Senior Ditch Day – almost to the finish line and talking about Ella (The niece).

Shel R.2 Comments

(The above adorable photo was taken from Pinterest, and I’d love to credit the artist, but have no idea who it is).

Anyway….

My daughter is so close to graduation, and the Seniors have started talking about Senior Ditch Day, and what they were going to do.

They have a group chat that many of the Seniors are in – on Snapchat – including my daughter.

My daughter was honest with me and told me she will NOT be in classes or school at all – on that day. She wanted to “let me know!”. I laughed, but she’s done so amazing all these years, and I can’t even be mad because she’s never ditched school, so the one day she does – that’s actually made for Seniors to ditch – go for it, kid!

Just be safe, let me know where you are, and keep in contact with me!

She is a little disappointed and bothered because they had a choice between going swimming at a water park, or to the trampoline park, and she was one of the ones – (along with a few others) – who picked the trampoline park.

She doesn’t like the way she looks in a swimsuit. She doesn’t care when she’s around family, but when it’s her classmates, she says “No way!”. She asked if we could just go to the trampoline park – when half the class voted for swimming / the water park.

Then – the leader of the group chat changed it. He said they could also do the trampoline park or the Casino.

My daughter is only 17, so she can’t get into the Casino, unfortunately.

Not even to just walk around and enjoy Senior Ditch Day with the graduating class.

Many of the Seniors are already 18 and said they would rather go to the Casino – with one of the girls suggesting they all pitch in and get a hotel room or two for the night. This girl who suggested it – said that the ones who only 17 – can stay in the hotel room until the others are done at the Casino, but I feel like that’s a little unfair and absolutely boring for the 17-year-olds.

I felt bad for my daughter.

So, when she asked if her, her good friend Peyden, and I – could go to the trampoline park the day of Senior Ditch Day – I said we’d see, but most likely.

I don’t want my daughter to be left out because of her age, and I also don’t want Peyden to maybe want to join the class of 2026 at the Casino and miss out because she’s 18 and my daughter is not – but she feels bad that my daughter can’t go.

I feel like they should all come up with something they can agree on and do as the entire graduating class.

So, as of now – the plan is the Casino and hotel for the group of 18-year-olds. I’m sure there will also be drinking of course, so I’m kind of happy in a way – that my daughter isn’t 18 yet. I think it’s sad that they won’t reconsider for the ones who are not yet 18, but it is what it is.

My daughter won’t be 18 until after she graduates. Months after.

I probably will take them to the trampoline park that day, and out to eat. I want them to have fun and be able to do whatever they want to do.

Along with Senior Ditch Day – comes planning my daughter’s graduation get-together. I call it get-together instead of a party – because it’s just going to be a bunch of her friends, and a lot of fun! I’m not sure if we’re doing it here at the house, ordering pizza, blasting the music and just letting them have a great time, or – if I’m going to rent a hall, the bowling alley, or go skating – and just do this mini get-together party somewhere else, so I don’t have to clean up after.

I giggled this morning when her friend Mya – told me that her dad was in her room late last night – asking what she wants him to order for her graduation party and told me they were renting the lot next door to their house for it.

I guess I should start making plans for Kailani’s get-together, huh?! I think I mentioned before that she doesn’t want a big party, and she likes her personal space, so I ended up skipping the Cardi B. concert I wanted to go to – to get her Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets that she wanted so bad – as an early graduation gift.

She was so excited.

Still, knowing I have to plan this get-together – (which I’ll probably do a few days before graduation) – and make sure last minute graduation details are all taken care of – it’s going to be a long – next few weeks.

It’s almost here, and I’m so happy for her.

I asked her yesterday when she’ll get her cap and gown because the teens are allowed to decorate their caps, and she’s been showing me some of her ideas.

I also want to take more Senior photos for fun – now that the weather is getting nicer, and I want to make sure we have tons of photos with her friends – that she can remember and cherish for life. 💕 I know once graduation is over in a few months, my daughter and all her friends that have been so close since 7th and 8th grade – will be going their own ways in life and headed on new paths with new people and new adventures.

I just hope they all keep in contact – no matter how old they are in the future.

I have friends now – that I met in kindergarten and kept in touch with all these years / decades later, so I hope her and her friends – stay friends for life.

You all know the tears are going to flow as soon as I see her walk into the gym with the others I’ve become “mom” to over the years. She’s my biological daughter, but I have so many “adopted” babies that have become mine since I’ve met them, and to see them all graduate and finish high school together – is going to make me so proud.

It’s also so bitter-sweet because I know life is going to take them in opposite directions after high school, as I said – so – we may never see some of them again.

I pray for all of them and wish nothing but the best for them – including my daughter of course!

My daughter plans to go on to training after high school – to get her EMT certification, and after a year – she’ll try to become a full Paramedic, and then she plans to go to college with the money she’s earning from her Paramedic job – to try to become a Crime Scene Investigator, or the person who cleans up Crime scenes. Yep. She wants to go into Criminal Justice – just like her mama! 🤗

I’d like to think that me earning my associate degree and BA in Criminal Justice – motivated her to do the same.

I sat in the high school parking lot this morning talking to my daughter, her friend Mya and her friend Angel, and when they all went to class, I almost started crying – thinking to myself, “These days are almost over!”.

All the high school drama I’ve heard over the years – all the early mornings waking up on school days – all the arguments over homework and different assignments she didn’t want to do and I made her, all the funny moments – all the stuff that drove me crazy… I’m going to miss this!

I know I am.

It reminds me of the excellent Trace Adkins song I love so much:

Before I get emotional – let me talk about something different. 🙄😁

*****

I was asked yesterday – if my niece’s mother ever messaged me or called. The answer is No.

For those who don’t know – I have a new niece named (Ella). She is a few months old now and I haven’t seen her, except for one photo from when she was born – that my brother’s ex posted online. My brother and her don’t talk as far as I know, and she wants nothing to do with my brother.

However, I still want to know my niece. I want my niece to know that Auntie loves her, and Auntie is here for her – no matter what.

So, I sent her mother a package with the cutest clothes, onesies, baby outfits, Pajamas, baby shoes, baby spoons for when she starts eating, and some other things. I also sent a card congratulating my brother’s ex, telling her I want to get to know Ella, and asking her to message me or call.

Nothing. And – I sent it last month if I remember correctly.

She probably thinks I did it, so she’d talk to my brother, but she doesn’t even know I don’t talk to my brother anymore.

Either way – she never even said “Thanks!”, and you know what? That’s okay. I hope she got it and God knows my heart was in the right place when I sent it to her for my niece. I also included a Bath N’ Body works gift card in that Congratulations card, so she could do something nice for herself as well.

I don’t even know if she got it or not, because she’s not saying anything, but it says it was delivered.

What I do know though – is that a few days ago – I got a notification on TikTok.

Good ol’ TikTok tells you who views your profile – IF – they’re signed in.

That’s right! If you want to look at someone’s profile and don’t want them to know – don’t sign in and just look them up.

If their profile is public, you can see it and it won’t show them you viewed it, but – this person was signed in, and it showed they just made their account recently. So, I was able to view it, and I giggled when it was a fake name – but it said “Sister” from your contacts – is on TikTok – and that “Sister” viewed your profile.

When her and my brother were together, I named her “Sister” when I entered her number into my phone – thinking she was one day – going to my new sister-in-law. So, when she thought she was slick signing up for a different TikTok account, using a fake name, and putting her real phone number when she signed up – that didn’t work out for her.

I sat there giggling.

I told my daughter and she laughed with me.

I ended up messaging this fake name on this fake profile – knowing exactly who it was viewing my profile – and I was funny about it.

“When you stalk someone on a burner account / fake account – you’re not supposed to sign up for that burner / fake account with a real email or phone number that can be traced back to you!”. 🤣

I told her I knew it was her.

I told her I’m sorry for everything that happened between her and my brother.

I told her I don’t blame her for leaving him or not wanting anything to do with him – because of how he is, and that I just want to get to know my niece.

I told her I’d appreciate it if she at least let me know if she got the package that I sent to her or not – even if she wants to tell me to “F*** off!”. I’d respect her wishes, and that I wasn’t trying to cause her any drama or problems, but I’d also appreciate it if she lets Ella know me.

I asked her to reach out to me.

Still – nothing, and now that I sent that message – the fake profile has been deleted – it looks like.

Also, if someone ever wants to talk to me, message me, etc. – let me be clear that you don’t have to look me up, view me or stalk me on a fake account. Just be yourself, message me as yourself, and say, “Hey!”. I don’t mind chatting.

So, no – I haven’t heard anything from her, but she did view my TikTok – and probably my other socials.

I’m just bothered that I can’t get to know my niece and there’s really not much I can do about it, but birthdays – holidays, etc. I do plan to put some money to the side for Ella, and when she is a teenager or old enough to know who I am and me to message her one day in the future – I will give her anything I’ve saved her for, any money, and see what comes of it.

*****

I wish I had more to sit here and tell you, but I don’t.

My life is pretty boring at the moment and all I do is work, try to save as much money as I can to move, figure out how and where to move, pay bills, work some more, and try to live finally – instead of just surviving.

I love you and hope you’re all doing well and in the best of happiness, love, and peace. 💕🤗

💕Shel💕

My dream home (WP writing prompt), and a few other things.

My dream home (WP writing prompt), and a few other things.

Shel R.9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.
View all responses

That’s not hard to do at all.

Today’s WP writing prompt is to describe my dream home.

I just talked to a realtor yesterday about this, because I’m looking to buy in the near future, and I’ve had a team of people I plan to work with when I’m ready.

I don’t even need a huge house. I could find a one-story ranch style house and be so happy with it, as long as it comes with the things I’ve always wanted in a home.

My “wants” are simple.

My dream home has to have a decent-sized backyard for BBQs and get-togethers with friends, my kids and their friends, family, etc. I’d love to have a big tree in the backyard – for a treehouse to be built. If you know me personally, you’ll know I’ve always wanted a treehouse.

FOR ME. NOT THE KIDS. 🤣

It would be my own personal space to write or to just run to for silence. It would be my own personal space to hang out in – a glass or two of wine late at night, look up at the stars and just think. It would be my own personal “happy place”.

My dream home would have a beautiful kitchen with tons of kitchen cabinet and counter space because I love to cook and bake. One thing I’ve always wanted – is a beautiful kitchen island right in the middle. My aunt and uncle have one and I absolutely love that. It also has tons of cabinets and space to store dishes, pans, etc. Something like theirs – would be lovely.

My dream home would have a finished basement, and that would either be my older son’s room until he moves out – because he’s always talking about having a “man cave” – or – I’d totally get a pool table and a few video games and turn it into a little gaming area for the kids and their friends. The gaming systems would definitely be down there, so if the boys want to yell and scream at their games – it’s all done in the basement, and I can close the door and tune them out. ha.

They take their gaming seriously, so they could use their own spot to do it in.

The washer and dryer I’ve always wanted – would be in a little laundry room space that I can decorate my way. I’ve always wanted one of those fancy washer and dryers that make a beautiful noise when they’re done. 😁 I always say when I buy a house, those are my first purchases for it.

I also want to make sure there’s tons of natural sunlight.

The apartment I have now – faces the parking lot, and there’s barely any sunlight coming in. I want a house with tons of windows all around that let in the sunlight.

When I was talking to the realtor yesterday, I let her know all of this and she then said, “With three kids, I’m sure you want two bathrooms”. I never thought of that, and it never really mattered to me, but yes – that would be perfect!

I don’t know if I’ll ever get everything I want in a house, because I’ve looked at some beautiful homes while planning to move this summer from where I am now, but if I absolutely love a house, I always find something wrong with it. I don’t like the kitchen, or the yard, or the small rooms. I’ve searched plenty of houses over the last few days and something always throws off the whole vibe and makes me say, “This isn’t the one!”. I’m picky – I know – and right now, I don’t have time to be picky.

So, while I may not buy a house right now, this would be my dream home description for the near future.

While we’re on the subject of houses and a dream home –

I have searched so many apartments and homes in different areas and even different states the last few days, because the deadline is fast approaching when I’d like to have something locked in, secured and ready to move into when we leave here. I want to have something ready by May 1st at least, so when May 31st rolls around, I’ll be cleaning up this place we’re in now, making sure it’s good for the next tenants, and having the last walk-through done.

I have friends and family out in IL. keeping their eyes open for apartments and homes, and we’ll see what happens.

I have been searching as well, and I leave our next place – all in God’s hands.

The search has been a headache and that’s what I’ve done all day – everyday sometimes, but I believe that we will be alright and we will get to move closer to home – as we want to.

****

WALMART AND VALENTINE’S DAY!

Other than the moving and my dream home thing, I have been preparing for Valentine’s Day.

My little dude’s class is having a party, and the teacher sent home a list of students in the class.

One thing I do every year and have fully enjoyed – is making up little goody bags or gift buckets for almost every holiday, and V-day is no different. I made up little baggies filled with pencil sharpeners, bubbles, cute stampers, heart-shaped rings, stickers, and little cute ducks. There’s some other stuff in them as well, and I’ll also be putting candy in them.

I love seeing the looks on their curious little faces when we bring goodies in for his class, and they get excited.

I’ll be bringing in Cupcakes and juice boxes, and a few gifts for some teachers and his as well.

While I was at Walmart yesterday morning grabbing party favors for these little goody bags, I was also looking for V-day cards for little dude to pass out to his class.

Many of them only had 16 in it, and there’s 18 kids. I didn’t want to buy another whole box of 16 – for just 2, so I was looking for a box of cards with 24 or 32 in them – even if we’d have some left over. If I could just buy one box and get it over with – it’s easier.

I ended up asking a woman who worked there and was trying to organize the V-day Isle she was in – if they have a box of 24 cards by any chance or if there’s more in another isle.

She turned to me and I realized she was the same woman that was at the self-checkout line during Halloween when we went in there for face paint. She’s mentally challenged and has a disability where she can’t talk very clearly, but she’s such a sweetheart. We said hello to each other, and we started talking about the party my son was having in his class.

She tried helping me find a box of 24 or 32, and I found one on my own – grabbing some Monster truck cards. A box of 32.

I thanked her for her help and walked to the next isle over to start picking out party favors. She walked over to that isle, showed me another choice of Hot wheel V-day cards, and asked if I wanted those instead. I thanked her but told her I think I’d stick with the Monster trucks, and I kind of giggled when she said, “Can you afford both?”. I politely thanked her and told her I didn’t want both, so she went to put the Hot wheels cards back. I felt bad and thanked her, again.

As I was looking through party favors, she came back over to me and asked if I had a boyfriend or husband. I told her no. I said it was just me and my kids. She said, “I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, either”. I hoped she wasn’t trying to flirt or go somewhere with that – or I’d have to find a very nice way to turn her down – but thankfully, she just started giving me some really cool words of wisdom.

She told me how us single women have to treat ourselves to something on Valentine’s Day, and that it’s more than okay to buy something for ourselves. We don’t need a man to buy anything for us. She said she’s going to buy herself some flowers, and I told her what a beautiful idea that was and said I may treat myself to some as well – along with some chocolate and coffee.

She said women have to work on themselves first, and make sure we feel good about ourselves, and when we’re not even looking – the right man will come along and love us the way we deserve to be loved. 💕 Listen. Don’t let nobody tell you that people with disabilities or those who are mentally challenged – have anything wrong with them, because sometimes – they are the kindest, sweetest, smartest people you will ever meet!

She spoke the truth and I loved what she was saying.

I already know all of that because I preach it all myself, and I agree with all of it.

If you’re a woman – and you’re single – go treat yourself to something fun, or nice. New haircut, new nails, Bath N’ body works goodies, New Victoria Secret goodies, flowers, chocolate, coffee, time with friends – whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good – you don’t need a man to spoil you on V-day. YOU spoil you! Men included… if you’re single – go have fun and enjoy doing something for yourselves.

We chatted for a bit about the fun parts of being single, and treating ourselves to nice things on Valentine’s Day, and then – I had to tell her to “have a nice day”, for the 5th time – and get out of there because if not, she would have stood there and talked all day, and while I didn’t mind – I really had to get out of Walmart and run other errands.

She really is a sweetheart. I enjoy talking to her whenever she’s around Walmart, but I had to go.

After getting Elijah’s goody bag things, I ran a few isles over to grab food for my daughter’s bunny.

On the way to pay – I stopped at the little girl’s section and picked out some cute things for my new niece, Ella.

I know Ella was born weeks ago, and I’ve said before that the mother wants nothing to do with my brother, but I’m hoping by sending Ella some cute things, her mother will reach out to me and let me have a relationship with my niece. I want to know my niece. I should know my niece and my niece should know she has a whole family on her dad’s side – who will love the heck out of her and be there for her. So, I’m hoping when she receives these gifts, her mother reaches out to me, and we can have a civil conversation.

Even if she wants nothing to do with my brother, and he has to handle that in court to see his daughter, I’d like to do it the easy way and see if she’ll allow me to be a part of Ella’s life. I love Ella as much as I love my nephews, T.J. and Matthew – even if Ella and I – haven’t met yet.

So, I grabbed a few adorable things for Ella.

💕

💕

💕

Here’s hoping that Auntie gets to meet her soon and have a relationship with her – if her mother allows.

DINNER AND A MOVIE:

Moving on……………

My youngest son asked if we could watch a movie a few months ago and he picked out ZOOTOPIA.

It was such a funny and cute movie, and I absolutely loved it! 💕

Nick and Judy (Carrots – as he nicknamed her) – are hilarious together and I love the bond they create between them.

If you and your kids haven’t seen it yet, I totally recommend checking it out, or even by yourself if you’re looking for a funny movie to watch, and don’t mind cartoon-ish movies.

So, Saturday – when my little guy asked if we could go to the movies and see ZOOTOPIA 2 – I said “no” at first.

My other kids had eye doctor appointments, the movie place we go to is an hour 1/2 away, and I was tired.

However – I kind of wanted to see part 2, and he said it was really good.

He and his class went to see it, so I figured, “Why not?”. My older kids actually wanted to go see it as well – which was surprising because they’re 23, and 17 – so, we went to their eye doctor appointments and went to see the movie.

We got to the area early, so we stopped and grabbed something to eat at a nice restaurant and all we did inside – was laugh and laugh and laugh. We had so much fun talking, joking around, and making each other laugh harder than normal, but we had a blast. I kept trying to get my kids to lower their voices or be quiet because there were others around us, and while the restaurant was mainly empty – people were still looking at us – as we laughed, couldn’t stop, and enjoyed our time out together.

At one point, we had stopped laughing long enough to eat, but my older son had us laughing again when he giggled and said to my daughter, “I like how you ordered Chocolate chip pancakes you had a taste for so much, but you’re digging into moms Biscuits and Gravy”. 🤣She kept reaching her fork over – picking at my food. We haven’t laughed that much in such a long time, and it was nice – even if others were looking at us and thought we were too loud.

When we got back in the car, I joked that I couldn’t take them anywhere, and they joked that they are DRIVE-THRU kids and not SIT-DOWN-IN-RESTAURANT kids. I didn’t mind though because they were having fun and enjoying themselves.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

I don’t want to spoil anything, so if you haven’t seen ZOOTOPIA 2 yet – you can scroll past this, but I will say that I absolutely love the part where Nick finally opens up to “Carrots”, she finally opens up to him, and they quickly proceed to tell each other their problems and so on, so they could better understand each other in the future and why they have the personalities they do. 🤗 When Nick admits he doesn’t want to lose Judy and that he’s grown to care about her – such a cute moment in the movie.

See part 1 first, and then go see Part 2.

I promise – you won’t be disappointed.

So….

Between getting ready for Valentine’s Day stuff, preparing to get boxes and bins and move, looking for places to move to, getting ready for my daughter’s “lasts” in high school – and preparing for tons of other things – I haven’t had time to sit down and write, so here I am – now that I have a moment to myself.

SENIOR ASSASSIN:

My daughter has started SENIOR ASSASSIN – as I’ve mentioned before. Her and the class of 2026 are now playing and the rules are – you can’t get anyone while they’re at work or school, and if they have their goggles on, they’re safe.

They all have an app they downloaded for Seniors everywhere – who play this game at the end of the year, and it shows all of their locations, so my daughter downloaded that, and she’s been begging me to find her goggles – so she doesn’t get assassinated.

You all know her friends call me “mom”, and I call them my “adopted babies”, so two of her other friends didn’t have goggles, either.

I ended up ordering a 3-pack online from Menards yesterday because no other stores have their summer gear (including goggles) out yet.

I took my daughter and her friend with me to pick them up yesterday, and we all laughed when they came back out to the car after picking them up from the order pick up section and showing me that I ordered goggles for toddlers 3 and up. 🤣 Oops! We went around to the front and I parked, so we could go inside and exchange them for goggles their size.

I was told from Customer service – that if we go to Hardware – they could show us a box of goggles we can pick from.

We found some in the summer section they were setting up, and we grabbed a 3-pack their size, but we also wanted to see what other goggles they had, so we were led upstairs by three associates. I didn’t even know Menards had an upstairs, but I guess that’s where their storage area is, and customers are allowed. (No children). We went up there, and they looked for goggles, but all they had was the ones out on the floor already, which was fine because my daughter and her friend got what they needed, and now – they’re wearing these goggles everywhere outside of school – to be safe.

They’re also carrying their gel blaster guns with them everywhere – in case they see someone outside of school and want to get them before they get “got”. haha.

I love that my daughter is participating because these are memories that she’ll remember forever.

I had to laugh because once Senior Assassin started last week – one teenage boy I’ll call “J” – quickly took out a few classmates, and he eliminated one at the gas station – as he snuck up behind the truck and shot gel blasters into the open window. “J” is sneaky, and he’s the only one that has gotten others out so far, so to be funny – the organizer of this Senior assassin game – called for a BOUNTY to be put on “J’s” head, and anyone can look for him and get him.

I joked that that’s the first one my daughter and her friends should locate and go for once they get goggles.

If Seniors want to follow other Senior’s home and get them – it’s fair game, so now – my daughter is on high alert and told me I better bring her goggles and gun everywhere if I pick her up from school to go anywhere. lol.

I love that she’s making memories, and I’ll forever look back and cherish these times as well – as a parent.

My other two older kids never did these things / events in high school, so it makes me smile to know she’s enjoying her last few months before graduation.

🤗

Dress Shopping:

I took her out of school early today, so we could go dress shopping for her Winter formal coming up.

Everything closes by 5 or 6 out here, so it had to be done early.

We went to a place that has tons of formal dresses for great prices, but unfortunately – she tried on five dresses and none of them fit her, so she walked out of the store disappointed.

We went over to J.C. Penney, and they had a very small selection, so we left there and I caved and went to a Bridal / prom shop.

I knew their prices were going to be outrageous – just by the looks of their dresses, and I was right.

Their dresses start at $250, so the beautiful Indian woman who works there – asked me what my price range was. I told her I wasn’t trying to spend more than $100 or so, but I was willing to see what I could play around with because it was for my daughter and I wanted her to be happy.

I explained that this is her last as a Senior, and she graduates this year, so I want this to be extra special for her.

She asked what my daughter was looking for – a short or long dress. My daughter said short. I looked at the lady and told her, “Not too short”. She surprised me when she told me that she had a mother of a teenager come in and ask if a really short dress her daughter tried on – could be made even shorter. Not me, lady! I want my daughter to look beautiful, in a modestly short dress. Again – not too short. lol.

She asked my daughter what she envisions her perfect dress to look like and what color. My daughter told her she’ll try any colors except pink and purple. My daughter also told the lady she wants a sparkly dress.

The lady grabbed two black dresses and told my daughter to follow her. She asked if my daughter wanted to try to them on, and she said yes. I will say I laughed a bit when the lady kept asking my daughter if she could come in and see how it looked every 5 minutes, and my daughter told her, “I don’t even have it past my bra yet!”. The lady told her for the best fit – she should take her bra off and try dresses on.

So, seven dresses later – the lady brought my daughter a red dress. This poor lady kept going back and forth with my daughter saying no to the first few dresses. The lady was a very patient, and she and I talked a bit as my daughter tried these dresses on. The first red dress she tried on – she came out onto the stand area and looked at herself in the mirrors as the lady fixed the back of that dress. My daughter claimed to like it – but a mother knows better.

I know better….so – when the lady walked away to grab one more dress, I whispered, “Do you really like that one? Don’t make me buy it if you know you don’t like it!”. My daughter whispered, “No!”. See? A mother knows!

The last red dress she tried on, she was absolutely in love with and said she couldn’t stop looking at herself. 😁

She told me a few times she loves that dress, and she even took a photo of herself in the dress – in the mirrors.

That’s how I knew she was being truthfully about loving the last dress she tried on.

It was a little big on the top area, but the lady took down notes on the alterations she had to make.

This dress was one of the $250 dresses, but the lady told me she’d give it to me for $160. I told her she didn’t have to do that, but we were talking about how crazy this economy is, and how happy I just wanted my daughter to be, so I did appreciate her kind gesture, and she made sure I only paid $160.

30 minutes after we left the shop – the lady called and said the alterations were done, so I’m going to pick up the dress in the morning.

As I paid, I smiled because while I could have really used that money – my daughter was so happy, excited, and it made me feel good.

She had me laughing in the car when she said she felt like she was on that show, “Say Yes to the Dress!”. She said she was just waiting for the cameras to come out. ha.

While my daughter was trying on dresses, the lady said she had a mother and daughter who came in there a few days ago, and the mother purchased a $1,400 – quince dress for the daughter, and a $1,600 dress for herself for her 25th wedding anniversary.

I can’t wrap my head around why people would pay so much for dresses, shoes, purses, etc. I’m okay with the little things in life, as long as they’re comfortable and look cute.

I’ve never been the type to need or want the “finer things in life”. My mother and grandmother always taught me to be humble and be happy with what I have because some people would love to have what I have. That has stuck with me all through my life. 💕

As we were walking out of the shop, I couldn’t imagine paying $1,400-$1,600 for a dress for one night, and I thought about weddings and how much those big ones – cost. How much Bridal gowns cost, and I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – if – big if – I ever get married again, I want something simple. Something low-key. Something relaxing – that doesn’t drain our bank accounts.

Listen.

I think I made this long enough, and as always – if you were interested enough to get through this long post and made it to the end, I love you so much.

I’m enjoying a glass or two of wine, so I hope all of you have a fantastic night, and I’ll be back before the weekend.

🤗Shel🤗

Maggie and I – may break up soon, saying goodbye to a great man, and A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestie!

Maggie and I – may break up soon, saying goodbye to a great man, and A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestie!

Shel R.6 Comments

So, yesterday – I tried to trade “Maggie” in – for a family SUV.

Something bigger for road trips.

Something with more family space for the kids when we’re in the car.

Something where we can pack tons of stuff into it and still have room.

My car is pretty, but it’s definitely not a family car. It’s way too small, and I didn’t think about that when I got it a few years ago. My car falls into the same class as Audi’s, and I’ve gotten many compliments on how much people love it. Some have even thought it was a BMW when they first see it, and I’ve had to correct them, but that’s how nice it looks.

It’s a foreign headache!

It’s expensive to fix if anything goes wrong. Some parts have to be ordered or come from overseas. I’m ready to break up with this damn car.

I’m ready to get rid of it, and yes – I named it “Maggie” when I first got it.

My last car before Maggie – was a Ford Explorer and I absolutely loved that SUV. It had so much space.

That was “Stanley”. 🤣 I figured I would try to trade Maggie in – for another Ford Explorer. My last one went into a ditch in the beginning of 2021, and I got Maggie in July 2021.

I called this car dealership near my area yesterday morning and told the guy who answered – what I was looking for. I told him if he didn’t have any Explorer’s, I’d take a decent sized family SUV that was priced right if I could trade my car in. He told me to come on in, and as soon as I walked in – we didn’t even sit down in his office to chat first.

He held up keys and handed them to me – as I thought to myself – “(This must be what celebs with tons of money feel like walking into dealers)”.

I asked what he was putting me into, and he said a 2025 Ford Explorer. He pointed to where it was located, so I could go test drive it, as I handed him my keys to test drive mine and figure out a trade-in value for it. My daughter was with me, and she made me giggle when we got into this fancy and beautiful SUV – and she said, “Let’s go to Chicago!”. I made her laugh when I told her, “I mean – he technically didn’t say where to test drive the car to! If I should happen to end up in Chicago, that wasn’t my fault because he wasn’t clear!”. 😁

I loved the SUV. The screen on it looked like the size of a laptop screen. It was a push to start – (but so is mine), and the Drive, reverse, etc. – was just a knob you turn, and it does this fancy dinging noise. I WANTED IT!!!!!

I test drove it, and my daughter asked if I was eventually going to turn around and go back, because I just kept driving and driving. I told her I was taking in the new car smell and the new car feel, but I did turn around and go back.

I walked in and told the car sales guy that I wanted it, and we talked numbers.

Here’s the thing.

As much as everything in me screamed “TAKE IT!!!!!” – and I know I truly deserve it and wanted to give it to myself as a graduation gift for the last 4 years of working my ass off for my Criminal justice degrees – another part of me was trying to scream some COMMON SENSE into my mind. Truth is – my car is almost paid off, and I don’t have that long to go – so instead of getting myself into a mess with getting a new $50,000 SUV and having years and years of more payments – I can just pay off the car I have now, and save money to drop a good down payment on something a little less expensive.

I can’t wrap my head around paying $50,000 for a brand-new SUV when I want to drop a down payment on a house this year or next year.

I really had to think about it, and I’m not rapper – rich – as I call it. I can’t just say, “I’ll take it”, and know I have a million in the bank still.

I’m a single mom – just barely getting by, and as much as I know I want it, love it and deserve it – it took everything in me to walk away from it. 🥺 He mentioned something about putting down $4,000 and leasing it for three years, and if I want to own it from there, or trade it for something else – I can do that.

I still walked away.

When I got back in my car – I was a little sad about it, but it just made sense to not get myself into another car note that would possibly be a headache in the future. I have no idea why or how cars are so expensive these days, but it’s sad what this world has come to – when it comes to money and everything being way overpriced.

Yes, I probably could have leased it if I wanted to, or even made a huge down payment on it, and taken it soon – but I know it’s not in my best interest, and I also know there’s other SUVs out there – that are way less money and are still in beautiful condition, so I passed. Not to mention – they weren’t going to give me much for my car.

I did have to laugh when I said I was so tired of the car I have now, and the sales guy mentioned that I could just leave it on the lake. I told him, “As soon as the ice starts to melt”, and we both laughed.

I still may look around and trade my car in for something bigger – better – and with less headaches or payments, but right now – I also know I want to get the hell out of Minnesota this summer, so I have to play it smart.

I’ll update on the car situation when and if “Maggie” gets traded one day soon.

*****

In other news, you all know my son and I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some small-time criminals, drug and alcoholic addicts, and some with mental health issues – right?

One of things we messed up on and did – was get close to them.

I don’t regret it because while our city doesn’t want to deal with them, and anyone who hears where they live – cringes and tries to avoid them – our staff – including my son and I – know them personally. We know that a lot of them are so sweet, amazing, helpful, funny, smart, etc. We care deeply about the tenants in our facility we work in, and we try so much to show them compassion, love, care, understanding, etc.

I say we messed up getting close to them – because it’s always heartbreaking – having to say “goodbye” to one of them if one leaves, or one passes.

A few weeks ago, we had one that passed away. We got close to her, and she was such a sweet and funny little firecracker of a person.

We then had one that decided to move out. That was sad because I looked forward to seeing her every day, or hearing her give attitude playfully and yell, “WHAT?” – every time I called her room, or she was down the hall. She’d laugh when I’d tell her, “You know what? Now I don’t want to talk to you!”.

A few days ago, one of our other tenants that I’ll call “Dave” – went to the hospital. Dave has some health issues that are getting worse, and the last two weeks – the hospital sent him right back, but a few days ago, he was admitted and was sent to ICU. He’s not doing well, and the day before last – my son and I went up to visit him – since most of our other staff did so as well.

He was sleeping when we got there, and I called his name twice before he opened his eyes, saw us and smiled. I held a straw up to his mouth, because he was struggling to drink water. They brought him his dinner, and he had us smiling when he complained – in short whispers – that he doesn’t want three meals a day.

We joked that there’s nobody to keep us on our toes at work, and he has to come back to yell at people or instigate things like he used to. He smiled.

We had a great visit, and we laughed so much when he whispered something a few times, and when we couldn’t understand him, it took everything in him to yell out, “$5!”. He wanted money. I laughed and asked where the heck he plans to go if he gets $5. He had no idea, but then he asked for his check. Our tenants get checks every month – I believe it is, so I told him they’d hold on to his checks for him – until he came back.

He had us laughing when he smiled and whispered, “Bring me my portion up here”. 😁 He’s in ICU and he can still joke around. He has Oxygen and can barely breath or talk, but he can still joke around, and I loved that. I miss that at work, and seeing him every time I walk in. Some of our tenants get alcohol portions to stop withdrawal symptoms, so that’s what he was talking about.

A few weeks ago – before he went to the hospital, I walked in at 7 AM and he was waiting for me like usual, and yelled out, “THERE SHE IS!”….but – this time – I had to tell him no. He wanted his portion, and I told him, “It’s not happening!”. He looked at me so funny and confused and asked why not. I told him I heard he hasn’t been eating breakfast or lunch, and he can’t live on alcohol alone. He got upset, but you know what he did……………..?

Marched himself right to the kitchen and ate something.

We have another guy there – a younger guy that I’ll call “Noah”. Noah is in an on and off again relationship with one of the women who live in the facility, and he gets so jealous over her, so when he found out she may be dating a new guy, he flipped out one day.

As I was trying to calm him down, Dave chimed in while he was listening, and yelled, “She’s with everyone! What is he complaining about? Leave her alone!”. My jaw dropped, and I prayed Noah didn’t hear him from across the room because it would have angered Noah even more – while I was trying to calm him down. I turned and told Dave to please behave and be quiet – as he laughed!

That’s the Dave I’ll forever remember.

Funny. Sarcastic. Loud. Vocal. Stubborn. Wild. Crazy. Fun. Silly.

I wasn’t there the night he went to the hospital, but they sent him back to the facility many times before, so I thought he’d be back. We had no idea that this time – he may not be. This time – may really be the end.

The night we were in the ICU to see him – when we said we were leaving the hospital, but we’d be back this weekend to see him again, he gave my son a fist-bump, and he grabbed my hand. I held his hand for a few minutes as he looked so tired and drained. His breathing was shallow, and he started closing his eyes. I told him to get some rest, and again -that we’d be back this weekend.

But – as I tried to pull my hand away gently, he squeezed it and wouldn’t let go. 🥺 He broke my heart when he whispered with his eyes closed – “Everyone left”. I whispered to my son that Dave wasn’t letting go, and we both felt bad. I almost wanted to pull up a chair and tell the nurses we’ll be there overnight, but we couldn’t do that.

I held his hand until I thought he was sleeping, and I tried to pull my hand away again, but he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand again – holding on once more. So, I held his hand, watched him close his eyes again, and I sat there with my son – in silence – looking at the T.V. with no sound – as we watched it.

Eventually, I did pull away slowly, and tell him we’re praying for him, and we love him.

I couldn’t turn around and look as we walked away, but my son did – and he said Dave was watching us leave with this sadness in his eyes. My son mentioned, “I don’t think he wants to be alone”. Once we left that room – the tears fell.

I cried so much. I cried on the way out of the hospital. I cried in the car. I was still crying on the way home.

I know Dave probably won’t live much longer and it crushes me.

I’ll always remember him as the vibrant, goofy man that walked around with humor, talking shit to everyone.

We do plan to go back Saturday and see him again if he’s still here on this earth, and I’m going to miss that man so much when he leaves it. 😶

*****

Before I get out of here, I have to share that today is my best friend’s 44th birthday.

Her name is Trish.

She and I met in 2nd grade when we were both 7-years-old.

We met because of the class clown, and we’ve stayed friends all these years.

We have so many funny and great memories together, and I’d be here forever if I were to share them all – but I just wanted to make you giggle and share a few of them – while also celebrating her day. 💕

The Twins (but NOT!) story:

She and I used to tell everyone we were fraternal twins. (Not identical) – obviously.

Many people believed us.

For example – in 6th grade – we had this boy James in our class who didn’t at first, and said if we were really twins, he wanted to see a photo of us when we were little. We had no idea how we were going to make that happen, but that night – my best friend Trish – called me and told me, “I have an idea!”. Her cousins were fraternal twins, and she had a photo of them when they were babies.

One has blonde hair and blueish eyes, which Trish has – and one has brown hair and Hazel eyes – which I have, so she brought that photo to school the next day and showed James. He absolutely believed us after that – thinking that was us when we were babies, so we started telling more people who didn’t know us – that we were fraternal twins. (James was new at the time) and didn’t really know us.

We went to the mall one day, and we were in the photo booth taking photos. When we got out of it, an elderly woman smiled at us – as she sat on the bench next to it – enjoying her ice cream. She said her and best friend used to do the same thing when they were our ages.

We were teenagers at the time, and we started talking to her and told her we were actually fraternal twins. She asked when our birthday was, and without really thinking about it, I told her my real birthday and Trish told her when her birthday was. Mine is in June. Trish’s – January, so of course – the lady asked, “Well, how are you fraternal twins if your birthdays are six months apart?”. We just looked at each other, laughed and realized we needed to get our birthdays straight if we were going to pretend to be twins.

After that, we settled on some birthday – same day and agreed to tell people that was ours. 😁

We’ve even been STEP-SISTERS! (Story).

We went to high school together and we always told the teachers we were stepsisters.

Nobody ever questioned it.

One day, our homeroom teacher said he had to have a talk with our parents because we had both been cutting classes, and he wanted our parents to know. He asked who he should get ahold of, and because we said her dad was married to my mom, the homeroom teacher said he would probably call them both.

We had NO IDEA what to say or do – but we were sure that our little “stepsisters” story was about to end.

Oddly enough, my mom and her dad said they would come in, but lucky for us – they would be there at different times that same day – as they both worked. They had no idea we were telling teachers we were stepsisters.

So, her dad came in first.

I was headed back from my locker and while I was walking down the hall to homeroom – Trish was standing outside the room with the teacher and her dad. We both gave each other scared and nervous looks, as we smirked and we both heard the teacher tell her dad, “Her and her stepsister”. We still don’t think her dad heard it to this day because he didn’t say anything about it, but MY MOM – she caught it fast.

When the teacher told her, “Her and her stepsister” – my mother was confused and asked, “STEPSISTER? She doesn’t have a stepsister!”. My mom was the one who ended that stepsister stuff.

🤣

“CHAT ROOM? WHAT’S THAT?”

One of the best memories we have together – is one 4th of July when I went to her house a few years back, and we were sitting on the porch having a few drinks – while my kids played with her nieces and nephew.

Next door to her – there was a teenage boy who lived there, and he liked to come outside and bug us whenever I was there. This one day, he was outside – and he kept running his mouth trying to insult us and make us mad. We kept ignoring him because we’re two grown ass women – who could care less about a teenager talking shit to us. lol.

When he said, “You guys are so old, you probably used AOL chat rooms before, and you were around when they were around!” – Trish had me laughing so hard when she asked him, “What’s an AOL chat room?”, and said that sounds fun.

He looked so shocked and asked, “You don’t know what a chat room online is? For real?”. She said no and asked how to use one. We were laughing and laughing, and this teenage couldn’t believe it. He started explaining chat rooms to us and said we can talk with people on the Internet. Trish laughed so much when I asked this teenage boy, “What the hell is the Internet?”. He looked at us shocked, placed his hand on his face and said, “This is going to be a long day!”. Trish asked – through laughter – “What’s this Chat you speak of?”.

He really believed we had no idea, and he ended up shaking his head, told us “You guys are hopeless”, and went inside – as we laughed the entire time. He probably called his friends and told them, “The middle-aged women next door have no idea what the internet or chat rooms are! Can you believe that?”. 🤣🤣🤣

Of course we do! We were in AOL chat rooms on the internet before he was even though of! ha.

“The BOX – phone bill problem“:

Another memory I’ll never forget and we still laugh about – is when we were teenagers and back then in the early 90’s – the BOX (Channel 13) I believe it was – was super popular.

The BOX – was where you could call in on your landline phone, dial three numbers to any video you wanted to see – as the numbers to those videos scrolled at the bottom of the screen, and they’d play those videos you requested. The cool thing was – you could see people’s video choice numbers being typed in as people called in. The bad thing was – each video cost between .99 – $3.99 and would charge your parents phone bills.

We didn’t realize that when we were calling to request videos.

When my mom got her phone bill one month and she called me downstairs SCREAMING – because it was over $300 – she was SO MAD and demanded to know what THE BOX was. I got grounded, and she ended up having our phone company block THE BOX phone number.

My best friend was there when my mom yelled at me and got the phone bill, so I laughed when she told me she better go home and see if her parents got their phone bill.

Good times!

“Shaving cream gone wrong!”

Our 8th grade graduation field trip – was to Springfield, IL. – to go see Lincoln’s home and some other places.

The night before, I spent that night at Trish’s, so we could leave at 5:30 AM together, walk to school and be there on time to get on the buses with our class.

We couldn’t sleep because we were excited and kept talking all night and watching movies.

Finally, around 3 AM – we started getting tired, and felt like we should probably go to sleep, but she had the idea of grabbing shaving cream, going into her brother’s room, and putting it all over his head. She did that, and at 4 AM when we decided to get one hour of sleep – her brother came out of his room, sat on the couch and we couldn’t stop laughing.

He called us idiots. He asked why we were laughing. He told us we were stupid. He told us we have problems.

We were laughing too hard to care what he was saying – as we saw all the shaving cream spread out all over his hair.

Finally, he went to use the bathroom, saw all the shaving cream in the mirror, and went to tell their father.

Their father woke up, had him wash his hair, and screamed at us.

Their father told us we had to be up early and should be sleeping, not messing around. He yelled that we were immature, and he shouldn’t be up dealing with our bullshit at that time of morning. He went on and on.

But………….

When Trish’s brother went back to his bedroom, their dad looked and made sure he was in there – before he looked at us, smiled and whispered, “Next time – do it right! You put it in his hand and tickle his nose!”. We laughed so much, as their dad giggled and went back to bed. 😁

We’ve had so many fun memories, and we’ve always been there for each other through some the toughest times in our lives.

I am so grateful for our friendship and that it’s lasted 32+ years and still going strong, so today – I want to say a very big

to my best friend, Trish!

Your friendship has gotten me through so much, and while I keep my circle small these days – I am so happy to still have you in it. 💕

I love you, TWIN / Stepsister. haha.

Some fun photos of us.

This is when she grabbed my little guy when he was just a baby and rocked him to sleep.

Trish always says she doesn’t like kids, so on this day – I told her it looks like she LOVES them. She laughed and told me, “Only when I can rock them to sleep and hand them back to their parents!”.

I believe this was the 4th of July when the kid next door had to explain what AOL CHAT and the internet were. Kid, we were AMERICA ONLINE and AOL chat long before your parents thought you into existence.

One of my favorite photos of us! 🙂

To everyone else, I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend.

The weather is starting to get decent, but you never know around this damn state.

Love you!

💕Shel💕

A funny Q-tip story, a few other things and a fantastic movie with a great message.

A funny Q-tip story, a few other things and a fantastic movie with a great message.

Shel R.8 Comments

Hey there loves!

So, the kids and I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters a few days ago, and we absolutely enjoyed the show.

It was hilarious.

It was entertaining.

It was amazing.

For those who don’t know who or what they are – what rock have you been hiding under?

YouTube some of their videos and watch them play. Watch them act. Watch them do tricks. Watch them make you laugh.

They play Basketball – but they have fun with it. They joke around. The tease each other. They tease the team they’re playing. They interact with their fans. They give prizes and gifts. They do all kinds of things on the court.

My mom, my daughter and I – have been to one of their games a few years ago, but my older son didn’t want to go, and my little guy was too little to understand it. Now that he’s 9-years-old and knows all about sports, it was more exciting to take him as well. My kids had so much fun as they yelled, cheered, clapped, and truly enjoyed that night. ❤️

Many arenas where they play – allow kids to bring their own Basketballs to be signed at the end of the game – (which is what my kids did), or they can buy a Globetrotters basketball / Souvenir at the games – and have them signed.

I laughed when many of the kids yelled, “6-7” – when the Globetrotters score reached 67.

My little dude was upset though because a lot of the kids who were sitting down by the court seats – were called onto the court and given gifts and souvenirs, so he felt some kind of way, but I told him that the kids sitting around him – or further away from the court – weren’t getting anything, so he wasn’t the only one.

However – when we were down by the court after the show – getting autographs, we were almost done and had a few more to get – as we walked over to the star of the show that night (Thunder).

One of the players (Spice) – came running under the rope they set up to separate the crowd and the players. She made moves like she was about to play Basketball with my little guy, and she ended up taking off her headband, putting it around his head and joking with him.

He was SO EXCITED! I was SO happy he finally got something, as he yelled out, “I didn’t think I was going to get anything from any of the players”. It made my mama heart smile. 😁 She will probably never see this – but THANK YOU, SPICE!!!! You made his night special.

I took more videos than photos, but we had such a great time, and my kids can’t wait to go again.

We asked for Spice’s autograph, but because it was time for the players to leave, she said they took her marker away, but she’d be more than happy to do a photo. So, we did that. My Elijah took photos with most of the players, but my Kailani – she didn’t want pictures. She hates photos these days unless she’s taking them herself.

We laughed when player (Thunder) told her she’s not getting her ball back unless she gets in the photo, but he did give it back to her.

They are so down to earth and will do almost anything to make a fan happy. Go see them if you ever have the chance.

*****

In other news – Senior assassin starts next semester – which I believe – is a few weeks away, but my daughter’s friend brought two gel pellet guns to school today and asked me to put them in my car to hold on to them. One for her, and one for my daughter.

They’re taking this seriously, and I can’t wait until it starts – to see what Seniors get other seniors, what kind of cool gel guns they have, and where they catch their classmates out and about. 😁

I think I mentioned before that the only rules are – they can’t get their classmates at work, or at school.

Anywhere in the town – or out and about – is fair game!

I’m excited to see how much fun my daughter and her friends have during this little Senior war going on soon.

Anyone else do Senior assassin in high school or have teens ready to do it?

Unfortunately, I don’t even remember that being a thing when I was in high school. I missed out.

*****

Oh. Let me tell you a funny story before I forget.

My daughter was in the walk-in clinic about a month ago because she couldn’t hear.

Her ears were clogged with wax, so they ended up flushing a good amount out, and they told her NOT to use Q-TIPS – like she had been doing. They said it would push the wax further into her ear, and that Q-tips are only for the outside of the ears and to clean around them.

I told her not to use Q-tips so many times, but she didn’t listen. This week – when she kept telling me she couldn’t hear again and wanted to go back to the walk-in clinic – I waited to see if it would get better, but it didn’t.

We went last night.

When the doctor looked in her ears, one was clear and the other – had wax in it.

As the CNA flushed the wax out, she noticed something else in there, so she called the doctor in to have a look.

Sure enough – there was a good chunk of part of the cotton of a Q-tip – balled up and stuck inside my daughter’s ear. 😶 The CNA let me have a look, and I was able to see it deep down in there. Oh kid, what the hell?! lol. So, it took three big bottles of their solution – to spray all in there and finally break down the cotton enough – to flush some of it out, flush the rest to the near surface, and for the doctor to be able to go in there with a small tool and grab the rest.

They got it out, but it took a good hour, and I hope my daughter learned her lesson this time about Q-tips.

PLEASE DON’T STICK ANY Q-TIPS INSIDE OF YOUR EARS, and any other small foreign objects for that matter! We laughed about it after. The CNA was having such a good time with it and she was laughing. I told her this is totally a story for a college party (as the CNA was only 21), and the doctor kind of giggled – kind of not.

Still, the CNA was awesome at breaking up most of it, as the doctor did 5 minutes of the work, and the CNA did the rest of it.

We also laughed when I had to pee, and I asked where the bathroom was, and then asked what room we’re in, so when I come back – I can easily find the room. She said, “Room 15”. When I left the bathroom, I walked into room 15 – only to find a guy pacing back and forth with his back turned to me – (thankfully) – 🤣 and I quietly closed the door. I heard my daughter laughing with the CNA – which is the only way I knew she was in room 11 – and not 15.

When I told the CNA, she laughed so much and told me how sorry she was.

I told her, “At least the guy wasn’t naked, and at least he didn’t see me walk in on him”.

My daughter asked me if she’s my “problem child”. I giggled and told her, “No, but you’re definitely the one who gives me the funniest stories to tell!”.

Lord, help me!

What it’s like having a teenager daughter – be like……………………..

haha.

Before I get out of here because I really have nothing else right now –

I just wanted to take this time to talk to the moms out there.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a single mama, divorced, married, in a relationship – whatever.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired, exhausted, and feel like you’re not doing enough – when you do EVERYTHING for your household and your kids – if you have it all and for some reason, can’t find your happiness….PLEASE – PLEASE – watch the movie:

(MOM’S NIGHT OUT) – on Netflix.

It will make you think twice and make you appreciate and love everything you have, and it will help you realize that through the beautiful messes we go through every day, with everything life throws our way, and through all the chaos and noise – we have it good. We are blessed. We ARE enough and doing enough!

It’s such a great movie, and I found it on accident, but I needed to see it.

It made me laugh.

It made me cry.

I related to this movie so much, because sometimes – no matter how much I do for my kids – no matter how many bills get paid – no matter how many hours I put in at work so my kids and I can have it all …. I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel like I should be doing more, or like I’m not enough for my kids.

Sometimes, I just need to feel like I can sit down and breath for a minute and I don’t get that time often.

Sometimes, I feel like nothing is going to get easier, and I get overwhelmed, tired, mentally and emotionally drained, and I feel like I failed in so many ways.

Life really does do its thing and makes us moms feel like we’re not good enough or like we messed up along the way in different areas of it. So, when I saw this movie and realized the cute and amazing message it gave – it made me feel better.

Life isn’t going to be perfect. Us moms aren’t going to be perfect, but – when we think we failed, or we could be better, do better – others may look at us and wish they had it together like we did. They wish they were doing or did have the things we did. Sometimes, we don’t know who is looking at our lives and thinking our lives are perfect – and we’re over here wanting to scream and trying to hold it together like glue that just doesn’t stick.

NEVER be jealous of anyone’s life – because you don’t know what other moms are dealing with, feeling, going through and they could be holding on by a little string as well.

This movie is great, and if you’re a mom – just sit down, pour a glass of wine when the kids are in bed, and give it a watch. It’s totally worth it and will make you realize that you’re not the only mom out there who is barely making it!

YOU’RE NOT FAILING, and even if your life is a mess right now – (like mine is) – it’s a beautiful mess, and if your kids are happy – (like mine are) – you’re doing a great job getting through it. 💕

YOU GOT THIS!!!!!

One of my favorite country singers (Trace Adkins) plays in it. He’s the big, bad biker dude “Bones”.

Without giving the movie away, there’s a part in there where Allyson tells Bones she feels like she’s failing, and he tells her, “I doubt God made a mistake giving your kids the mama he did!”. That made me feel good because a friend of mine once told me, “Shel, God don’t make mistakes! He knew who he wanted this baby’s mama to be!” – when I found out I was pregnant with my little guy, so I agree with that. God picks us moms for a good reason, and he knows that many of us are going to have a hard time, but we’re also strong enough to be moms and do this thing.

In the movie, one of the younger moms tells Allyson, “You have it all figured out”, and she smiles and tells her, “Not even a little bit!”. I agree with that. Same here, sista!

When people tell me they don’t know how I do it all by myself, I want to laugh and tell them, “I’m hanging on by a small – thin thread and I want to stand in a field somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs”.

My oldest would have been 25 if she were still alive.

My older son is almost 23.

My daughter will be 18 this year.

My little guy will be 10 this year…………….

And I still don’t have it all figured out, so I could relate to that and this entire movie.

Sometimes, through the madness – the sadness – the heartbreaks – the stress and drama – the crazy stories and moments we get to live through and tell (Like the Q-tip story above) – through the emotional and mental draining, the headaches, the wild moments that make us moms want to scream – the overwhelming feeling of not doing enough……………

There’s beauty in all of it, and when we really take the time to sit down, look at our happy kids and smile – we learn to cherish the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between – that life takes us through.

So, give the movie a shot, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did because the message in it – is great.

A little preview for you……………………

I believe it’s an older movie from 2014 I’ve read, but still a great one, and I think many moms all over will appreciate it.

I know I loved it!

To my mamas – and even the dads who feel like they’re not doing enough or feel overwhelmed and exhausted – you don’t have to be perfect. Just be there for your kids, make sure they’re happy, and make sure that you take a little bit of time for yourself once-in-a-while.

Just without all the craziness of what goes on in this movie. 😁

I have to run and grab my kids from school and go make plans for my older sons’ birthday.

He turns 23 in a few days.

I’m exhausted right now just thinking about it, but life goes on.

Love ya!

❤️Shel❤️

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

Shel R.6 Comments

So, how did everyone’s New Years Eve go?

Mine was laid back and chill.

I grabbed pizza for the kids before I came home, and I planned to get a bottle of wine for myself, but I actually skipped that.

The kids ate and my sons were in bed early, so they knocked out and I didn’t even wake them up for the ball drop, or anything. I let them sleep, because as long as they were warm, safe and peaceful – if they wanted to bring in the NEW YEAR with snores – I was all good with that. 😁 My daughter and I stayed up the whole time watching the NEW YORK events, performers, people, and then what we thought – was going to be the ball drop.

Anyone else disappointed we didn’t get to see that?

After the countdown – the view went to the crowd and confetti.

I think many people have mentioned something about not seeing it, and how odd that was.

Either way – we then watched the little bit of LIVE streaming Chicago had going on for their first ever ball drop, and we were disappointed to know that while (Chance the Rapper) was hosting it and performing a bit, he wasn’t seen much from what people in Chi-town are saying. Still, I heard the fireworks were beautiful and the city was peaceful that night. ❤️

I heard a few other music artists were down there as well. The ones who are from Chi.

Many years back – Chance the Rapper – donated a good amount of money to some Chicago area schools, and one of them – was my older daughter’s school – (Benito Juarez Community academy HS) – in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood. My older daughter still went there at the time, so she was so excited to tell people that her school was one of them on the list.

I’ll always have love for Chance – and any other rapper / artist who decides to give back to their cities that they came from.

Once we watched the celebrations in NY and Chicago, and they were over – Kailani and I wished each other a Happy New Year, and we both went to our rooms and knocked out.

No selfies that night. No loud music. No wine.

Just living in the moment and relaxing.

She did have to make it known – as soon as the New Year hit – that she will be “graduating this year”, and She will be turning 18. I’m a little sad about that, but we’ll deal with that when those two major events roll around.

So…..

Did you make any resolutions for 2026?

Let me share some of mine.

Weight loss:

I’ve been on this journey for years now, and I keep messing it up.

This year, it has to be taken seriously because I’ll be 44, and my kids need me to stick around a lot longer.

I’m not young anymore, and if I want to be there for them for many more years, this is one way to guarantee it.

When I lived in Chicago and then moved to Minnesota, I was slim. I was active. I enjoyed working out and being on the move all the time.

When my oldest child was taken from this earth, that’s when things got bad. Really bad.

I stopped working out. I wasn’t active for a long time, because I just wanted to be in bed all day.

I would shower, go to work, and do nothing after.

I wasn’t eating right. I was drinking. I was depressed, angry, confused, and had so many questions that I’d never get the answers to. Things got bad for years, and I just didn’t care, so instead of cooking homemade meals like I used to and doing things outdoors, or going places – I’d pick up fast food, eat, and go to sleep.

I’d take care of my kids of course. Took them to school, helped with homework, made sure they ate meals, made sure laundry was done and the house was clean all the time, but – other than what I had to do – there was no working out, or taking care of “being fit” because my oldest was gone. I didn’t have a will to live, or to care about me. So, I gained weight, and kept gaining because I wasn’t active anymore, and I was eating whatever, drinking whatever. Sleeping for hours.

In 2025 – I promised myself it’s time to get back to the old me. The me who worked out. Who was active. Who didn’t even have time to eat because I was making so much money and had dreams / goals, and ambitions.

2025 – just helped me heal a little more, and to finally accept that my oldest was gone, and I’ll never get those answers I felt like I needed. That I wanted. That I struggled so hard to get from whatever happened that night she was killed. 2025 – I knew I needed to get back on my “A-GAME” and get my money right – get my fitness back together – and make sure I was taking care of me as well – because I have kids, and you can’t pour from an empty glass, right?

I was drained for years. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

2025 – taught me that I’ve been down and out for too long, and it was time to get my ass back to God, and to get back on my feet after years of struggling with depression, anger, and a pain no parent should ever have to go through.

2026 – THIS YEAR – This is for me. This comeback is personal. This year – I’m doing everything I plan to do, and that includes getting fit again. Eating better. Thinking better. Living better.

Okay, so we have an event tomorrow and my kids made me promise them McDonald’s after. 🤣

And – we still have leftover Christmas cookies. So, I promised myself that on the 4th – I was going to plug in the treadmill that usually holds clean clothes that need to be hung up when they come out of the dryer – and I am going to get my ass on there every day – maybe twice a day.

I said I was going to go for more walks, drink more water, and eat right this year.

I’m going to 100% get out of this funk I’ve been in for years now and get back to the me that I was when I lived in Chicago, and when I first moved here.

I do need to lose this weight I gained over the years, and while some people will look at me and tell me I’m crazy or there’s not much to lose, I can see it and feel it, and I want it gone. So, that’s a goal I plan to accomplish this year. To at least – get back down to what I was when I packed up my life in IL. and moved to MN.

For anyone trying to do the same – let me also say that while it’s NOT easy trying to eat right, exercise and lose weight – cheat days are okay, as long as you only have ONE of them here and there, and it’s okay to NOT exercise everyday – as long as when the next day comes – you get up and go at it again. 😊

Moving to civilization:

Another 2026 New Years resolution I have – is to move my kids and I – closer to civilization.

The little town we live in is dead. I mean – dead. dead.

We don’t have much around here, and everything is usually closed down by 8 PM or earlier.

Everyone is in each other’s business. If you do something, people are going to know before you blink an eye.

Gossip travels fast.

Everyone knows everyone or is related to everyone.

Last names matter here.

This little town is boring and there’s not much to do, unless you want to drive miles and miles away, hours and hours away, and have to travel back home again.

In the nearest bigger “town” – we have two or five of everything.

There’s no variety of anything here.

We have two McDonald’s. Two Burger Kings. Three Starbucks. FOUR Caribou coffees, and a bunch of random pizza places all within 5-10 minutes of each other. We have a bunch of banks, and car washes, but nothing really for kids to do.

No real stores. We have everything on repeat, and our mall is just as dead as these towns.

In Chicago, there were so many good food places, and a huge variety of cultural choices.

In Chicago, there are tons of stores upon stores of different kinds, and they’re all so close together and you don’t have to travel miles or hours to find something for the kids to do. There are tons of places for kids to go in IL.

I thought I wanted the country life – until I got it – and was hit with the reality of it. ha.

Now – I know why people leave small country towns for bigger cities.

So, in the next two months – I plan to buy a bunch of bins, pack up everything we don’t use right now or need out, and put them in these bins. I plan to stack them up in a corner somewhere and get rid of things we don’t want to keep or need. I plan to have the kids do the same in their bedrooms and get rid of what they don’t need or want, pack up things they’re taking with us when we move, and get everything ready.

In April – I plan to start looking for work near a place in Wisconsin – closer to IL. or – in a suburb near my aunt and uncles in IL. because I love it there, and drop the money on a place, so when my youngest daughter graduates, there’s a moving truck in the parking lot and we already have a place to move to.

We are so ready to get out of here and get back to a variety of food places – (although I don’t need that while trying to hit my weight loss goal), a variety of stores, and things to do. We’re ready to get back to being closer to friends and family. We’re so ready to get back to places being open late, or 24 hours in some spots. We’re so ready to be where there’s better job opportunities, and more money.

We’re just ready to go.

So – this month and next – are going to be filled with packing and cleaning up the apartment we’re in now, and April – will be the month of searching for a place and dropping money on it – so when May comes, we’re starting over – somewhere else, and leaving 6 long years in Minnesota – in the dust.

I think the first year of this place was our happiest, and after that – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into moving to this small town. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, I love hearing the cows next door “moo” when I open the windows and they’re out. Yes, I love hearing the gunshots when it’s hunting season, but – I’m just ready to be around the familiar places, people, and things I grew up with back home.

No, I don’t want to move directly into Chicago, but yes, it will be nice to be at least an hour from family and friends – and not almost 10 hours.

So, that’s a resolution of mine this year.

Getting the hell out of dodge and going back towards who and what we know.

Career:

There are no career opportunities where we are now, and one of my biggest New Years resolutions – is to be offered a job as a probation officer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I had a probation officer – which is a story for another time.

Since then – I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to become one and help other juveniles change their lives – like she helped me. Like many people just like her – including a few cops I met along the way – helped me.

Oddly enough, they don’t need probation officers in our little area – even though there are plenty of kids who are in need of one, but we only have a few.

I was so excited the beginning of this year when I was still in school for my BA degree in Criminal Justice, and I applied for and was offered an internship for probation, but – because my school and the county needed to create a contract for me to do this, and it took forever – I was graduating before I ever got to do the internship. I was literally a few weeks away from graduation when a contract was finally set, but by then – it was too late because the internship would go towards my credits and I already had those.

I was bummed, but hopefully – knowing there’s so many career opportunities in bigger cities I’ve been looking into moving to – maybe it will finally happen for me.

If not, at least there’s more opportunities for other positions in the field I went to school for.

I love the job I have now – dealing with those who were once homeless, who are alcoholics, drug addicts, have mental health issues, etc. but – it’s not my dream career and the pay sucks. I do it because I love it, and I love the people, but it’s not forever.

Stepping into my dream career for 2026 – is a goal of mine.

Debts:

This year is going to be the year that I will work two or three jobs if I have to – or pick up a side hustle – to get myself debt – free. I don’t have a lot of debt, but I do plan to pay off my car and trade it in this year to treat myself to a little graduation gift – since I completed both degrees over the last 4 years and haven’t done anything nice for myself to celebrate both degrees.

This year is going to be the year that I work my ass off and pay off whatever I need to – to make sure that my only debt – is my new SUV if I get one, a mortgage if I’m able to drop some money on a house this year or next, and my basic bills. I don’t think that’s too much to set as a goal, is it?! This year is the year that I don’t want to worry about any finances, and I just want to live my best life with my kids.

This is the year that I want to do more traveling, see more places, and do more things with them.

This is the year I want to say, “Yes – I have extra money. Let’s go out this weekend!” and really mean it!

I want all my debts cleared, and I don’t want to worry about anything this year, except what the kids and I are doing on my days off.

God:

A good friend of mine and I were talking a while back and we both decided to start reading the BIBLE more this year. To really study it and write down our favorite quotes and scriptures, stories, lessons, etc. and not just read it – but REALLY read it and focus on it. We plan to talk about it, share our thoughts with each other, and make it our “go-to” when life is kicking our asses.

We both said our souls are a mess and we need to get right with God. lol.

We found it hilarious yesterday when I left her a message saying, “Get your Bible ready. This is our year. We said we were going to do this”, and I told her what I plan to do, and without listening to my message – she sent me almost the same thing, so we took it as a sign that God is up there like, “Let’s go girls! It’s time!”. haha.

I feel like this year, I need to trust God more and stop trying to run everything.

These are just some of my goals for the year. Some of my New Years reslutions.

What are yours?

If you want to hear a funny story about God – let me share this with you before I get out of here. 😁

On Christmas Eve, my son got paid and asked if he could use my car to do some last-minute shopping and run a few places. I let him, but because my car needs work – I told him not to go far.

He was headed to the nearest bigger city 30 minutes away, and I got a phone call from my daughter. She went with him.

I answered and I heard a police officer loud and clear in the background but couldn’t hear what he was saying or what was going on. My heart dropped!

You know my oldest was killed in a car accident, and now my other two children just took my car – and I get a call and just hear the cop talking. Finally, I heard my son say, “Is mom on the phone?”. My daughter said yeah, and she said, “Hello?”. I kept saying hello before she said her first hello, and I was so relieved to hear both of their voices. I asked her what was going on. She said she had me on speaker, and that they got pulled over.

I was so grateful it was just that and that they didn’t get into an accident or hit a deer.

I was so grateful they were both okay.

The officer got on the phone and said the reason he pulled my son over – was because the tabs were expired.

I told him the car has been giving issues, so I try not to drive it a lot, but I just ordered the new tabs online and that I have the insurance on my phone if he wanted me to send proof to my daughter, so she could show him. He said that would be great, so I did.

He gave my son a warning about driving without the new tabs and the insurance card on him, and he let them go.

My son came back home, and they told me that the officer told him that I also have to take the cross I have – off my rearview mirror. He said it’s an “obstruction to view”. It’s a small cross that says, “For he will command his angels to guard you in all your ways”.

I told Frankie it’s not coming down.

Frankie (my older son) asked if I was seriously going to leave it up. I sure am!

He asked what I was going to do if that same cop stops me next time and tells me the same thing.

Me to said cop if it happens: “That battle is between you and God when you get up there, but it’s not going anywhere. I’ll take the ticket, but don’t cry when you have to answer to that man up there when you meet him”. 😁

I had my kids laughing, but I thought it was funny.

Good Lord, I’m just glad they are okay because I panicked that day.

I have to get out of here and get ready to start my day, but you all have a beautiful weekend…

and I love you!

❤️Shel❤️

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Shel R.21 Comments

I am finally back!

I took a break from writing for a little bit and decided to delete all of my posts here – because a few friends of mine use Blogger and absolutely love it. I checked it out and I THOUGHT I absolutely loved it, too!

Turns out there’s a lot more that goes into it – than WP, and it’s a whole headache. A lot more than it’s worth. I will say I love the way other people who are used to Blogger – set up their blogs there, but I now see that I’m more of WP gal, and I regret leaving for a while.

Don’t worry! WP gave me hell logging back in because when I finally did – I was locked out and it took me days to finally figure out how to get back in, since my password and login link weren’t working.

I tried a different site after that, but that was a mess.

I decided to maybe try “XANGA” – which is where I blogged back in high school. Did you know that’s no longer up and running? As far as I saw. Those were some good times.

With that being said – I came back to WP, and I’m so grateful I left my site up, and didn’t delete this – despite deleting the posts I had here. I shall never leave WP again. 🙄

I want to also say:

I know sometimes I don’t feel like it or think it – but I am truly blessed.

I’m grateful for still being here at 43 to watch my kids grow, and I hope the good Lord gives me many – many – more years for that.

I am grateful for all we have and for our health.

I am grateful for so many things – I would be here all day.

I am definitely grateful the kids wanted a quick and easy dinner tonight.

They didn’t want the Turkey we have every year because it takes too long to cook, and they had such a taste for tacos, so we did something different, went against tradition, and had Chicken tacos for our Thanksgiving dinner.

I still made stuffing, potatoes, and so on. We still had cornbread, and so many other things.

I made cake and we had the Pumpkin pie my younger daughter loves so much.

It was nice. It was a fast and easy clean up, we watched Home alone together and enjoyed some video games.

There weren’t many photos. We decided to leave the selfies and the phones alone. We just enjoyed time together. 💕 I think many times during the holidays; I’m so caught up in taking all these photos and making memories – that I forget to just make the memories and leave my phone alone. Today, I took some photos, but I didn’t force my kids to smile for the camera – or to get in front of the tree for Thanksgiving pictures like I do every year.

I just enjoyed my time with them and focused on the memories and those moments we had today.

As today comes to an end, I just popped open a bottle of wine, poured a glass, and struggled with getting back into this account (and did!).

The older kids are in their rooms winding down now. My little guy is on the couch watching a movie. The leftovers have been put away, and I work tomorrow – so it’s going to be early bedtime for me.

I just wanted to say hello again, and Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

I hope yours went as smoothly as mine did!

Love you!

💕Shel💕