Another walk-through, and Saturday’s Winter formal.

Hello darlings.

I was up bright and early this morning making sure my kids were awake and everything looks nice – for the Realtor and “interested party” that was coming at 8:30.

My landlord is selling the building – (or trying to), but he’s had no luck. He put in up for sale months ago and had it up for months. People came and people went, and nobody was interested.

There were a few people who did make offers, but he wants his full asking price – which is outrageously too high for all the issues this building has – that need to be fixed, and there’s been no upgrades or updated anything in most of the apartments.

I think I’m probably the only one with one of the newer apartments and that’s because he had to update and upgrade a few things here before I moved in – because the last people who lived in this apartment – completely destroyed it. So, we got a lot of the newer things, but other apartments still have the same old cabinets, counters, dishwashers, fridges, carpets, etc. from many years ago.

He’s had many people come to look at this place with different realtors, and they’ve passed on it because it needs a lot of work and upgrades, so he took it off the market for a month or two, and now – it’s back up again – at the same outrageously crazy price he was asking before.

I would have just taken one of the offers one of the interested parties offered, left it as an “as is” price, and called it a day if this were my building. I feel like he was lucky to have been offered anything at all from the one or two offers he did have.

Now that it’s back online for sale again, he’s had a few different “interested parties” in and out of the building and everyone keeps getting these notification papers that people are coming to look on different days, but still – nothing comes of it. Still, tenants have to comply, let these people in their apartments, and have no say.

This morning, the realtor and the “interested party” that was supposed to come by, looked at different apartments and came to knock on mine at around 8:45. I let the lady and the guy in, and the guy looked at the living room, and immediately went to look at the bathroom.

I’ve noticed that many of the people interested – seem to go straight to the bathroom and start there. So, I had to look it up and ask why realtors and people interested in homes or buildings for sale – look at bathrooms first. He’s not the first one who has went straight for our bathroom and I read this on Google:

“Realtors and buyers often look at bathrooms first because they serve as an immediate, honest indicator of a home’s overall maintenance, hygiene, and potential for expensive renovation costs. Because bathrooms are intimate, personal spaces, they trigger strong, immediate emotional responses—either comfort and trust or doubt and disgust—within seconds of walking in. 

Here is why the bathroom is prioritized:

“The Tell” for the Home: If a bathroom is updated and clean, it suggests the entire home is cared for, increasing the buyer’s confidence in the investment. 

Indicator of Overall Maintenance: Buyers assume that if visible details like grout, caulking, or fixtures in the bathroom are neglected, other, less visible systems in the house (like plumbing or electrical) have also been ignored.

High Cost of Renovation: Bathrooms are among the most expensive rooms to renovate per square foot due to labor and plumbing, making an outdated or poor-quality bathroom a major “red flag” or “deal-breaker”.

Emotional First Impression: A clean, updated, spa-like bathroom helps buyers instantly imagine themselves living in the home, whereas a dirty, smelly, or cramped bathroom can make them turn away immediately.

Functionality Check: Buyers immediately check for practical necessities like storage space, water pressure, and proper ventilation (to prevent mold), which are essential for daily comfort”.

***

I found this interesting, and it makes sense.

I guess they know exactly what they’re looking for.

If I’m being honest, all they have to do is pull into the parking lot and they can see that the place isn’t worth as much as he’s asking for it.

There’s so many things wrong with it – just on the outside of the building.

The entire parking lot needs to be redone.

All of the garages have huge holes in the walls and let in the elements because the doors are broken and falling apart. I remember one summer a few years back – there was a guy working on the garages to try to make them look semi-decent, and he had been doing so all day in the heat. I left a few times and came back that day, and he was still working and sweating. I had BBQed (before I found out we couldn’t do that here), and I asked that man if he ate at all that day. He said “no” and told me the landlord wanted his work done as soon as possible, and I told that man to get down from the ladder and come eat. He did and he was grateful. He did tell us that day that he told the landlord the garages aren’t repairable and need to be torn down and rebuilt, but the landlord didn’t want to spend that money.

So, that problem is still going on, and people can see that when they come look at the building to potentially buy it.

The building looks like it’s lifting off of the foundation.

The patios on the 1st floor are pulling away from the building.

The balconies on the 2nd floor are one good snowstorm or windstorm away from collapsing.

There’s a big sink hole right by the garages that we’ve been watching for a while now, and hoping nothing happens.

Nothing is updated or upgraded.

I’m sure that ugly, dusty carpet in the hallways has been there since this place was built in the 90s.

This place needs tons of work and I could go on and on.

The woman who works with the landlord to show the building and apartments – says the same thing. Nobody wants it because they find out it needs too much work.

I feel like if he took offers, realized this place isn’t in the best conditions and accepted the highest offer – it would have sold a long time ago “as is”. Greed can make a person do some wild things though, and while us tenants here continue to wake up early as hell sometimes for these realtors and “interested parties” who then pass on this place – or rush home late evenings sometimes to let them in – we just have to be quiet and allow it.

I have only stayed for the last few years because I do love my apartment. It’s a big 3-bedroom and like I said, I have the newer apartment. Plus, I wanted my daughter to finish high school here, and she’s almost done – so, it’s time to get ready to move on to bigger and better things and places in a few months.

I hope the landlord does get to sell the building and it goes to some amazing new people who will update and upgrade everything and really take care of it – the way all the tenants here – deserve. ❤️

He also sent the plumber here today because underneath the kitchen sink – there has been water a few times. There has been puddles on my kitchen floor because of it – that I’ve had to clean up. It’s only happened twice, but still – I wasn’t going to continue to let it happen. I had some plumber come and fix the garbage disposal a few weeks back, and that’s when it started.

The Plumber was here a few minutes after the realtor and the interested party left, and he said the guy who fixed the garbage disposal – forgot to tighten up the connection, so he thinks water is spewing from that at times. He tightened it, connected some gray piece, and asked me if his company did that work. I said no, and he was happy to hear that. 🤣 I promised him that I’ve had nothing but good experiences with his company since I’ve lived here for 6 years and have had them come out a few times for different things. The guy who did the garbage disposal – was from a totally different company.

Can I also share how cute this plumber was today?! lol.

I was a good girl, though. ha.

Part of me needs a nap now, and part of me knows I have things to do and it’s not happening.

****

Let’s talk about my daughter’s Winter formal dance this past Saturday.

She asked if I could pick up her friend that I’ll call “Aly”, and also – one of her best friends that I’ll call “Paisley”. (For privacy reasons of course!).

I got off of work at 3, got home about 3:30-ish, took my shoes off and planned to sit down, eat and relax for a bit before I picked up the girls because it was early and the dance didn’t start until later that night. As soon as I sat down to turn on a movie and relax, my daughter asked if we could go get Aly because her mom was leaving the house at 5 and wanted to lock up. She said Aly didn’t have an extra key to lock their front door, so her mom wanted to make sure she was picked up before she left and locked up.

No. I didn’t get to eat or watch anything. I threw my shoes back on, got ready and we left to get Aly.

My daughter told me her mom was going out somewhere.

We got Aly and then went to go get Paisley. Her mom was going out somewhere as well and wanted to wait until Paisley was picked up and safe with me.

I joked on the way to Aly’s and asked my daughter, “Hold up! Why are all the moms going out and I’m the one who gets to play Chauffeur, cook, baker and babysitter?”. My daughter laughed. I was teasing her though and I truly didn’t mind. I was thankful that the girls were getting ready at my place, and I was the one who got to take them to their dance, drop them off, pick them up from the dance and bring them home because I know I would have been nervous if my daughter wanted to go to someone else’s house to get ready and their parents were driving.

So, they came over and I made pizza. I planned to bake Cupcakes, but we had no time and the girls were rushing to get ready and trying on different dresses. My daughter gave one of the girls a black dress she had and let her keep, I straightened my daughter’s hair and painted her toenails, and one of the girls asked if I could do her hair and paint her toenails as well. I did so. 😊 I wanted tons of photos, but I only took one of my daughter by herself and one of her and her friends before they rushed out the door later that evening – to have me drop them off.

I should have taken a video of these three young ladies trying to walk to my car over piles and piles of ice and snow – in their heels. lmfao.

They held on to each other!

Thankfully, they made it without slipping.

When I dropped them off, I heard the music blasting from way inside and I knew they were going to have a great time.

I was even more thankful that our little town had two police cars sitting near by that night.

I prayed and asked the good Lord to watch over them for the next few hours, and I was even grateful that my daughter took time out of her night to keep in touch with me and let me know they were okay. I told them before they got out of my car to head into the dance – that if they felt like something was wrong or off or if they felt like they were in any kind of danger, to let me know and I’d come get them immediately!

Nothing happened and they got back safe.

When it was time for me to go get them, my daughter called me and asked if another friend of theirs that I’ll call (Alice) could come to the house and hang out for a bit until her mother and father were able to pick her up. Alice came there with her date, but after picking her up at her house earlier that day 30 minutes late, making her sit in the backseat because his friend was in the front, and dissing her at the dance to dance with other girls, Alice didn’t feel comfortable with him driving her back home.

I felt so bad for this Alice girl, but I know her mother and I absolutely told my daughter we’d take care of Alice until her mom and dad picked her up.

Her mom is a teacher at the school, and her other daughter and my daughter became good friends when my daughter started going to this school when we moved to this little town. Her and her other daughter were the first ones to show us so much comfort and love after my oldest child passed, and they’ve been huge parts of our lives ever since, so of course I was going to make sure Alice didn’t have to go home with this boy who dissed her and treated her so poorly that night.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, her parents were already at my place to pick her up. The dad knows this boy’s dad, so he said he planned to have a talk with the father, and Alice just wanted to cry. I gave her the biggest hug and told her unfortunately, as boys grow into men – it doesn’t get any better and you just have to learn which ones to let go of, and which ones deserve our time and attention, but one thing we don’t do as we get older, is cry over a boy / man, and I asked Alice to please remember that and her worth.

I told her how much I love her, and if she needed to talk, I was there for her. 💕

These young girls break my heart when I see them wishing for a boy who isn’t worth it, crying over them, or feeling some kind of way because of one. My daughter has been so in love with this one boy at her school, and when he left the dance on Saturday, she told me she already misses him, and they’re not even dating. I just kind of giggled, but I told my daughter so many times that in the future, she will probably meet someone so much better and cuter – and won’t even remember this boy she has liked for years now.

Still, the girls had a great time, and everything went well.

I dropped my daughter’s friends off and get this………………………….

One of their moms was so amazing and got me a bottle of red wine because I was so cool about picking the girls up and bringing them home – she felt that’s the least she could do.

I truly am grateful and have that bottle sitting in my fridge for after dinner tonight. I plan to enjoy a few glasses after my crazy, long weekend. 😁 I just thought that was really thoughtful and sweet of that mom.

I really have nothing else going on today.

I have errands to run, and I promised my little dude I’d make my famous Burgers for dinner that he loves so much.

You all have a blessed rest of the week, and I love you!

💕Shel💕

Happy Valentine’s Day (Tomorrow) & may you enjoy some funnies today.

Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?

I’m 43.

I have no idea what my parents were doing at my age – except being parents. ha.

I do know that my mom worked at a bank. I can’t say which one she worked at when she was 43 – because there were two. I’m pretty sure it’s the 2nd one.

She started working at a bank in downtown Chicago, and fun fact – she worked with Michelle Obama’s mother at that bank.

Michelle Obama actually talks about that bank and her mom working there – in one of her books.

My mom said she didn’t really talk to Marian much. It was mostly a “hi, how are you, have a nice day!” – conversation if they ever spoke at work, and she said Michelle Obama’s mother worked in a different department at that time, but they’d run across each other here and there.

My brother and I always joked with my mom when we got older and told her if her and Michelle Obama’s mother did become good friends back then and stay friends – we could have been invited to the White House for dinners and parties when Michelle and Barack were in there.

She’d just laugh at us because we’d shake our heads at her.

When my mom left that bank – she started working at a bank on the Northside of Chicago – a few blocks from where we lived, and that’s the bank she stayed at for 30+ years – gaining many customers who absolutely loved my mother, looked for her every time they walked into the bank, enjoyed sitting and talking with her. Not only about their accounts, but about life, and personal things they’d share with her or she’d share with them.

Working at that bank, my mom got to know a LOT of people, and in public – out with my mom – she’d always see someone she knew or who knew her and was so excited to see her.

My brother and I used to joke with her because she knew everyone. Everyone knew her and loved her.

It didn’t matter where we were – she’d always see someone she knew.

We were visiting my oldest daughter in Minnesota when she moved here before we did, and my mom came with us one time. We were staying at a hotel that weekend, and my mom wore this little bathing suit to go in the pool. She didn’t like bathing suits that showed much, so when I asked if she was going to wear the one she was wearing because it showed more than expected, she told me she was, and said, “I don’t know anyone out here in Minnesota. I’ll never see any of these people again!”.

As she was in the pool and I sat in the area reading a book, I heard, “DIANE?”. She knew some people that walked into the pool area. They were visiting their family out here, and when they talked to my mom and then left, my mom looked at me and laughed. I shook my head, smiled and told her, “Even in Minnesota, huh?”. She always saw someone she knew from the bank she worked at, or around the area, but again – everyone loved my mother.

So, what was she doing when she was my age? Working at a bank and getting so much love from people. 🤗

She retired in her late 60’s if I remember correctly, and she cried over it because she was leaving behind so many customers, and a job she loved for so long. She knew she’d miss it, but she was ready to get on with her life and enjoy the rest of it as well.

………….

My dad at my age – I have no idea what he was doing, either.

I know he was working at the Chicago Tribune for a long time, and then he went to the Chicago Sun Times (both newspapers) in case you’ve never heard of them.

He worked with my grandpa at a factory as well, but I couldn’t tell you which job he was at when he was 43.

So, that answers (sort of) today’s WP writing prompt question.

I do know they both lived above my grandma and grandpa on my mom’s side, and both worked.

*****

Anyway, today – my younger daughter and I – stopped at Walmart to get Cupcakes for my little dude’s class.

He’s having a Valentine’s Day party later. We did V-day cards earlier, and I brought in the box of goody bags I made.

We took his teacher and his 2nd grade teacher from last year (that we love so much and miss) some gifts.

My son wasn’t in his main class, so his teacher told us where we could find him, and we hid her gifts until we grabbed my son from that class, so he could surprise her with the gifts.

On the way to grab my son from the class he was in, we passed his 2nd grade teacher’s class from last year. (Ms. M). She came out into the hallway, put her hands on her hips, and yelled out, “I know you two are NOT walking past my classroom and not stopping by!”. We laughed and told her we’d be right back. I absolutely adore Ms. M.

We grabbed my little dude, gave him Ms. M’s gifts, and walked into her classroom. She was so happy, and hugged him, and he was so happy giving her these gifts. My little dude is such a sweetheart and enjoys when we surprise people.

While Ms. M. and I were talking, my little dude kept taking my “Visitor” sticker off, and I told him I had to keep it on, so they know I’m okay to be inside of the school. Ms. M. told him, “Yeah dude. If you keep taking it off of her, they’re going to come and escort her out of the building”. I joked that as long as they’re some hot cops, I wouldn’t mind, and I pretended like I was putting my hands behind my back. We both laughed so much.

This is why I love Ms. M.

I know I can joke with her, and she’ll joke right back.

She said, “At this point, it doesn’t even matter if they’re wearing a ring or not”.

I told her I can keep secrets.

She did the:

She laughed and told me, “I have you on social media. I’m watching you!”.

I told her, “Hey! If you have my back – I have yours!”. 😁

Oh, don’t get all serious on me if you’re reading this. We were just joking.

You know I don’t condone cheating and I don’t date married men. lol.

We then went to my son’s teachers’ room, gave her the Cupcakes and Sprite we got for the party, handed over a huge box of goody bags, and her gifts, made sure my son made it back to the room he was in, and left.

Ms. M. is one of the people I’m going to miss when we move, but I told her since she has me on social media apps – I’ll totally keep in touch, and she’ll be able to see my little dude growing up.

Maybe we’ll come back and visit from time to time.

Minnesota is a beautiful vacation spot.

My daughter and I laughed as we walked out of the school, and the Sheriff was there. I told her, “Look! They’re already coming to get me!”.

I took her to the high school and came home to relax.

******

In other news, did you hear Cardi B. did her first performance on her “Little Miss Drama” tour?

First thing she did – was call out I.C.E. and say if I.C.E. comes in the building, they’re going to jump them because I.C.E. isn’t taking any of her fans.

Everyone laughed and she was of course – being funny because that’s just her personality, but Homeland Security clapped back and said, “As long as she doesn’t drug and rob our agents, we’ll consider that an improvement over her past behavior”. I giggled at that, because obviously – they too – were being funny and using humor. It’s no secret Cardi has a past and has even admitted to drugging and robbing men when she was in her wild days – way back.

Cardi went on to ask why they don’t want to talk about the Epstein files if they want to talk about drugs and drugging people.

Okay!

It was funny at first, but now – it’s getting messy.

Let’s pray Homeland Security can let that one go, and Cardi continues the rest of her tour safely, peacefully, and without drama – but then again, it is the “Little Miss Drama” tour, right? 😶

I did plan on going, but not sure if I still will. We shall see. I haven’t gotten tickets yet, and I heard they’re selling out fast.

********

Before I get out of here and go grab a Salad – (because I just started this damn diet again and plan to get my workouts in) – let me make you giggle a bit.

While my daughter and I were in Walmart earlier – they had rows and rows and rows of fresh flowers and roses.

I joked that there were so many of them left, and by now – all of them are usually gone or there’s not a big selection left.

My daughter had me laughing when she says, “Yeah, there’s a lot left because nobody is dating anymore. Everyone realizes that love is a headache!”. 🤣 My kids say the goofiest things, but I can’t say she’s lying.

My loves – I have nothing else today.

I hope all of you are doing well.

Happy Valentine’s Day – (tomorrow) – and please – don’t forget to grab something for the love in your life – even if they can be a headache, too! ha.

Love ya!

💕Shel💕

A fun little find while searching…..

So…………….

I’ve spent days looking on different websites for houses and apartments – just to see what’s out there right now and how much everything is.

I’ve looked all over Duluth and different other areas of Minnesota with more varieties of things. I know I said I wanted to leave Minnesota for good, but I just wanted to see what else is out there – in a bigger area maybe.

I’ve looked all over different cities in Wisconsin, which is where we’re thinking about moving – once we leave here, and I’ve looked all over different parts of IL. (Suburbs of course!).

Just for fun, I happened to look at places in the area I grew up in – out in Chicago, and I was surprised to see that the building my best friend lived in while we were growing up – (one block over from the house I grew up in) – was for rent. I got excited and thought it was the 3rd floor where she and her family lived all those years ago when we were little, but it was the ground floor. The basement.

I was about to message the landlord there and tell him I’ll take it and hold it for me – if it was the 3rd floor.

I LOVED her 3rd floor apartment, and when we were growing up – we had so much fun there.

It’s on a dead-end street right by the railroad tracks.

The railroad tracks are on the same level as the 3rd floor, so from her bedroom window back then, we could see the trains passing so closely, and the people in it. We used to hang out the window and wave at the people, and sometimes – they’d wave back if the train was moving slow enough for them to see us. 😁

I can’t even begin to tell you the number of baseballs, soccer balls, tennis balls, etc. – we lost over the fence right by those tracks when we played on this street as kids.

Those front windows on the 3rd floor – led to their living room – where we spent hours playing video games. The good old school ones.

Back then – we loved KRIS KROSS. (The teenage rap group with Chris Kelly and Chris Smith). If you know the song “JUMP”, you know who they are, but they had so many other great songs as well, and they were known for wearing their clothes backwards.

It was in this building – 3rd floor – that her dad lied to us, and said Kris Kross worked with him. We were stupid enough to believe him, so we asked him to bring them home one day.

He said he’d invite them over or to dinner. Every time he’d come home from work, and they weren’t with him, he’d smile at us and tell us they had to work late, or they had to go to the studio after work to record. He’d tell us, “Next weekend”, or that they had to fly back home to see family for a while.

Eventually, my best friend asked, “You don’t really work with them, do you?”, and he laughed – telling us, “You two are the idiots who believed me!”. lol. We believed him for months.

It was this building where her mom would hang out the back window and scream at us to put our jackets and gloves on – as we took them off often in the Winter – to slide down big snow hills in the alley.

This building is the only one my grandparents let me go to when I was younger – because it was right on the next block, and I could easily cut through yards to get there. My grandparents used to watch my brother and I – when our parents were at work.

I had so many good times on that block and on that 3rd floor in this building.

So, when I saw it was for rent – I got a little excited. I then saw that it wasn’t the 3rd floor.

It was still nice to see the building online. I’d love to see what the 3rd floor looks like now.

With that being said – I’m finding so many cute places that are so expensive, and many of the decent-priced places don’t allow pets.

We have my little guys cat, my older son’s dog, and my daughter’s bunny.

Part of me wishes I could find a cabin home or a resort type of place that did year-long leases, because I’d totally love to live on the lake.

One place I absolutely love – is my aunt and uncle’s old house and last I heard – that’s an Airbnb now. I wonder if the new owners would rent that out, although I’m pretty sure it’d be crazy expensive.

I want to buy a house, but I may just wait on that right now.

Still, hunting for rentals or houses is exhausting and I know my time is limited, so it has to go fast.

I’ve found a few really cool places with bookshelves built into the wall, and I’d love something like that. I love to read and I have all kinds of books.

I would like something with natural sunlight and tons of windows, with lots of kitchen counter and cabinet, and a back yard as well, so I’ve just been saving the ones I love and hope they’re still available when it’s time to get out of here.

I am also starting to pack up and get ready to make things easier when it is time to move, so we don’t have anything to do – except load everything into a moving truck. A friend of mine told me it’s much easier to rent a U-Haul and drive it – rather than pay thousands for moving companies, but me driving a U-Haul – there’s no guarantee the truck is getting there in one piece.

I plan to maybe have my brother come out here and drive it for us. He used to drive Semi’s all over, so he’s used to those big trucks.

Anyway – little giggle for you today because I always try to make you smile at least……………

My 9-year-old needed empty cereal boxes for a cute project his class is working on for Valentine’s Day – so, I took the cereal bags out of two boxes and gave him the boxes. There was a Coco-puff in one of the boxes, and I meant to take it out yesterday before I sent him to school.

I totally forgot.

Last night, I told him I forgot to take that one Coco-puff out, and he tells me, “It’s okay! I saw it and ate it. I never let a perfectly good Coco-puff go to waste!”. I laughed so hard. 😂

Well, okay then kid! ha.

I have nothing else for you today. I’m sorry.

This is going to be short and sweet. I just wanted to talk a bit about my best friend’s house and the basement being for rent now.

I miss that place and again, if it was the 3rd floor – I may have taken it.

We met in 2nd grade, and I believe from 2nd grade – all the way through 6th, she lived there and it was my favorite place to be.

Love you and please pray that I find the perfect place – in the perfect area, and it’s a fast and easy move-in process because when I leave here at the end of May, I just want to go straight to our new home, unpack and relax. 💕

While I want to get out of the state – worst case scenario – is that we end up moving 30 minutes to an hour away and try to get out of this state again next year.

I just want to get the hell out of this itty-bitty little town at least, and out of this building.

Is it May yet? 😘

Okay for real – adios!

🌹Shel🌹

Changes.

Loves.

I’ve been neglecting the whole blogging thing.

I’ve been so busy and so tired – trying to get ready for so many new beginnings.

The end and beginnings of new things, actually.

Graduation:

As many of you know, my youngest daughter graduates from high school in a few short months, so we’re in the final stretch of getting ready for that.

She’s been taking yearbook photos, turning in her last major assignments – including a big History project her and her friend just worked on here at our place, and she’s now searching for dresses. One for Winter formal coming up in a few weeks, and one for graduation. 💕

Senior assassin has started, and she made me laugh when she said she’s not going to be “out and about” with me – without her goggles on. Rules are – keep your location ON – (because these Seniors download an app where they can all see each other’s locations), and if they see each other “out and about” and they have goggles on their eyes, they’re considered “safe”.

If they have their goggles around their necks, hanging out of their pockets, in their hands, etc. – any other senior can assassinate them. She kept telling me I needed to get her goggles, and we’re doing that today and then – she’ll turn her location on. I told her she’s cheating, and that’s what she told me.

That she’s not going to be seen “out and about” with no goggles on. lol.

I’m just enjoying these last few months of her being in high school, and I’m not trying to rush anything.

The entire class of 2026 had a graduation song picked out, but after my daughter heard it, I was so proud when she spoke up and said that song had nothing to do with graduating, so another girl asked if they should change it. Many of the class members said yes, and agreed with my daughter, so eventually – after going through different songs, they decided on the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac.

Dude. I cried in my living room when she told me that, and she laughed at me.

That’s one song that always makes me cry, and knowing it’s going to be played at her graduation – I’m going to lose it. Anyone want to donate boxes of tissue? lmao. Kidding! I’ll already have a bunch of tissues with me.

That part where it says, “Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ – ’cause I’ve built my whole life around you, but time makes you bolder, children get older, and I’m getting older, too!” – gets me every time.

For so many years – I’ve built my whole life around my kids, and now that they’re getting older, I know eventually – I’ll have to find “me” again, and who I am.

So, as we prepare for graduation and do everything she has to do before that day – my mama heart is so happy and excited for that day coming up, and my mama heart is a little sad because I remember when we moved to Minnesota and she started 7th grade here. I look at her pictures of when she was growing up, and my mama heart remembers every single memory from every single photo in her younger years.

She just made “A honor roll” for 2nd quarter and she was on it for the 1st quarter as well.

I’m so proud of the young lady she is becoming, who she wants to be in the future, and all the goals and plans she has for herself after high school.

There’s a trend on TIKTOK going around where it says, “So proud of my daughter because her high school years look so different than mine”, and I smile at that trend. In high school – at the age of 17, I was pregnant with my first child and had my first child at 18. Kailani at 17 – doesn’t want any kids until she’s older, is talking about becoming a paramedic, and moving to California one day.

She didn’t follow in my footsteps, and I’m so happy because of that. She did so much better than I did in high school, and she didn’t make the same mistakes, so it does my mama heart good that she is becoming so successful. 🤗

As she finishes high school, picks her college or certification program after and becomes who she wants to be in life, it’s bitter-sweet to see her getting older, growing so fast, maturing and doing so many great things.

With that being said, I will also say that I’m so proud of me for getting two college degrees in Criminal Justice (Associate and Bachelors) – and while I didn’t get to fly to Vegas for my graduations, I do plan to purchase the cap and gown soon, take my honors tassels I was sent, get my National Society of Leadership and Success gear, and hire a photographer to take some graduation photos for me, because I didn’t do that, either.

I want to.

I think it’d be fun and it’s something I can cherish for life.

Photos my kids can cherish and look at – to be proud of their mom when I’m no longer here on this earth.

To know that if I was able to finish two degrees as a single working mom with bills and all the craziness of life – they could and should aim just as high and do many great things in this life, because if I can do it, they can too!

So, yes – I want that college graduate photo shoot soon – maybe this summer – and hell, maybe if I order my cap and gown now from the college I graduated from, my youngest daughter and I – can decorate our caps together.

Maybe we can take graduation photos together.

******

New place:

With my daughter about to graduate, I’m also looking for a new place and getting ready to get out of this small-little town.

That too – is going to be bitter-sweet, but as much as my heart and mind have battled about staying here or getting the hell out of here, I know we have to get the hell out of here.

I’ve said this before.

There’s no variety of anything here. No variety of food places, no fun activities for families, no great job opportunities – especially not in my field.

My daughter hates going into the stores we do have because this place is so small – everyone knows everyone or everyone is related to everyone and she hates running into people from school. My older son misses all his friends back home and he’s been in a bit of a depression since we lost my oldest child, and he has nobody to hang out with here. He’s made a few friends, but they weren’t the best, so he’s ready to get the hell out of here.

Not to mention – that there’s really no jobs for him out here – where he can advance and really do well.

It’s mostly fast food, a few small grocery stores, and retail, and he wants to do something else at the age of 23.

Me? I’m lost out here.

I miss my friends and family, familiar places back home and not having to drive hours and hours for good stores, good food and fun things to do. I’m tired of wasting gas and going miles and miles for the doctor or hospital, and main stores. So, it will be a blessing to move somewhere bigger and better – and somewhere a little closer to home – where everything and everyone is closer.

I did tell my landlord we will probably be out by the end of May because rent is going up here in the building, and while he’s already raised rent for others, he has kept mine the same because of the fact that he knows I want to be out of here when my daughter graduates. So, when I signed my new lease, we agreed he would do the lease until May and keep me at the same price – but if I wanted to stay and ended up being here in June, it would go up to $1,000 a month like everyone else.

This building is NOT worth that much monthly, and nothing is updated. Nothing gets fixed right away, and I’ve had so many issues in this building, it’s time to go.

He messaged me today and asked if I think I can be out by May 1st, because he found someone to take the apartment. I told him my daughter doesn’t graduate until the end of May. He messaged me back and said he’ll tell the people they can move in – June 1st then.

I laughed because NEVER did I say we were definitely moving, and I know he doesn’t like to have empty apartments here, so he tries to fill them as fast as he can, but he never even asked if I was sure I was moving – before he “found someone to take the apartment”.

Yes, we will be out because trust me when I say – I’ve never been happier to leave a place – than I am leaving this one, but at the same time – it holds so many great and fun memories, that I will cry when the apartment is empty and we’re on to new beginnings and new memories in a new place this year. 🥺 This is the last place I saw my oldest child before she was killed.

We celebrated her 21st birthday in this apartment. She drew a smiley face on the wall that night and I haven’t touched it.

We’ve had many great Christmas’s here, and late-night talks in the kitchen when my kids and I couldn’t sleep and we just laughed so much together in the middle of the night.

This apartment holds a piece of my heart, and although I’ll be so happy to see the moving truck in the driveway and the last items going into the truck to get the hell out of here, I plan to ask to have 5 minutes alone in here – and just let out all the emotions of leaving the place we’ve lived in – for 6 years now.

All the memories and good times. All the funny moments. All the laughter.

Saying goodbye to somewhere you’ve lived for so long is never easy – and while you know it’s the best thing for you and your family, it’s still so hard to do.

As the time approaches to the day that I know I’ll stand in each empty room and cry, I am so thankful for every moment we’ve had here.

I was telling a friend today about the landlord already having new people ready to take over June 1st, and that I didn’t even give him a full answer if I was moving or not, and we laughed about it, but she made a good point. She told me, “Shel, you’ve been fighting with yourself about if you’re making the right choice moving or not, and maybe this is God’s way of pushing you out of there – to somewhere better”. I agree. Maybe.

I’m a little scared. I must admit.

So many changes are about to happen, and I just pray God guides us and makes every decision I make for me and my kids – great ones.

I can only hope I’m doing the right thing by getting us out of Minnesota and somewhere closer to home. Around those we love and know. Around places we love and know. Am I going directly back into Chicago? Absolutely not, but am I going closer? Totally. Wisconsin / IL. border is perfect, and I just hope that our new place – our new lives there – are beautiful.

I’ve been looking for a place recently because the first thing I want to do when taxes come in – is drop the money on a place I love, so little by little – we can start taking our things we don’t need or use right now – to the new place, and so when my daughter does graduate – we already have a place to move to, and that will be one thing off my mind.

*****

New Niece:

I must also tell you all that my new niece was born last month.

Her mother did name her “Ella” like her and my brother planned before they broke up, and she’s the cutest thing.

If I did mention that in another post already, my bad. If not – there ya go!

I feel like she looks just like my brother, but just to be sure – since this girl refuses to talk to my brother – he did hire a lawyer to the whole DNA testing and to make sure he has visitations with his daughter.

Hell, I want to message this girl and tell her, “Let me see my niece!”. However, I know it has to be done the legal way, and I’m not trying to get my brother in any kind of trouble or issues with this girl. If it is his kid, I hope I get to see her soon, and with me being closer to home this summer if all goes well, I look forward to babysitting, seeing my niece often, and being in her life.

I hope and pray that my brother gets to be in her life – even if his ex wants nothing to do with him.

I look forward to seeing my nephews and taking them more, and I know for sure that my brother’s ex-wife (different woman) – will be more than happy to get a break and hand my nephews over to me. 🤗

Being an Auntie of possibly three now – that’s another new change and I’m excited about that.

*****

New career:

With the new opportunities that I feel like moving somewhere bigger is going to bring, I’m excited to start looking for jobs in Probation.

I have no idea if that’s the direction God will bring me in, but I also know so many other places and people that have connections to get me in wherever I decide to go. I know that my degrees, my knowledge, my skills, my experience – will lead me to the right job as well, and I leave it in God’s hands.

Even if I don’t end up doing my dream job of probation – wherever I go, I just want to know I’m making a difference in lives of those who don’t have anyone, who need help, or someone to care – and that I can do whatever I can to make them feel loved and cared for. That I can help them change their lives.

Even if I can’t save them all. 💕

So, I’m looking forward to many more opportunities than there are out here, and to a new career – even though – again, it’s going to be bitter-sweet to leave where I am now because I’ve gotten to know and love all of my tenants at my job, and they love the heck out of me and my son – who also works there with me.

I do plan to give my number to some of them, so they can keep in touch, call me whenever they’re having a tough time or just want to talk, and to keep in contact with them to know how they’re all doing.

I’m going to miss them dearly when I move.

I hate getting attached to people.

The goodbyes are always heartbreaking.

Some changes are great, and some are great – AND sad.

but………………………….

When I tell you that I’m so much looking forward to family saying, “Come on over”, and I can say, “Be there in an hour or so” – I totally mean that. When friends call and say they’re coming over, or “let’s go do something fun”, I can say, “Let’s go!”, and mean that. I do look forward to being around those I’ve missed for so long and haven’t seen in forever.

And yet again…

Leaving those I’ve met in Minnesota that have become such a huge part of my life – is tough.

I’ve met some amazing people out here, and I hope and pray we all keep in contact, and maybe I’ll come back and visit them here once-in-a-while.

There’s so many things that are going to break me and make me cry when I leave this small town, and there’s so many things that are going to make me smile when I move closer to home – that all these changes are like a Win-lose situation. Ah.

I hate changes sometimes, but again – they can be so beautiful as well.

So, there’s lots of changes coming and I just hope everything goes smoothly.

****Laugh with me****

Other than all the changes – my car was finally fixed. Yes, Maggie got taken care of.

I took the car in last week after months of issues with it and fining out it was the Timing chain, a sensor and Spark plugs.

I got it back the same day, and it was running beautifully for that day and the next, but when I went to pick the kids up from school, it sounded like it started, and whenever I hit the “push to start” button, it kept sounding like it restarted, but it wouldn’t go anywhere. I could put it into different gears, and it wouldn’t do anything.

It smelled highly of gasoline, and the battery light was on, and that wasn’t on before I sent it for service.

I called the mechanic who did the Timing chain, sensor and Spark plugs, and he came right over because he’s only a few blocks down.

He lifted the hood, checked it out and told me – (while kind of laughing) “Your Fuel Pump went” …………………..(and he made an exploding sound with his mouth).

EXCUSE ME, SIR?!

First of all, it’s not funny, so why are you smirking? 2nd, YOU did the work, so what did you mess up that my fuel pump is bad now?

I wasn’t blaming him. You know I use humor in bad situations, and it helps me not scream my lungs out. ha.

Humor helps me keep my sanity. lol.

I joked that he did the work, and I wondered if he messed it up, so I’d have to come back and give him more money.

He said he has no idea why, but it came off or wasn’t connected, and he ended up connecting it or whatever he did and said it should be fine now. He said I may need a new fuel pump eventually, maybe not. It may be a fuel leak, maybe not. It is – or it isn’t?!!!! It needs to be replaced, or it doesn’t.

I don’t want to hear all those “maybes”.

He said if I had any further issues, bring it back – but now my check engine light is on. So, I have to bring it back to him anyway, but the car is running so much better than it was before the Timing chain and all the other stuff was taken care of, and for that – I’m grateful.

I just pray it’s nothing else, because I don’t need any more headaches with this damn car.

Maybe I just need to marry a mechanic.

You have to laugh and keep your sense of humor or life will drive you crazy.

In other news….

My older son has taken to calling me “Little Rockstar” now. lmfao.

I have no idea why or how that started, but I guess it’s because I do so much, and rock it – make things look so easy – and handle my business both at work and at home. He has started saying things like, “You got this, Little Rockstar”, or “You go Little Rockstar”. He’ll say things like, “I know you can do this, Little Rockstar!”, and “Look at you go, Little Rockstar!”.

He makes me laugh every time he says something with Little Rockstar in it, but it also makes me smile because it’s his own little personal nickname for me now. 😁 I don’t mind it!

If I had a bad day or I’m just venting, he’ll say, “You’ll be alright, Little Rockstar”.

Besides humor, my kids totally keep me sane and make me want to keep going.

OKAY, OKAY.

I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time to write – mostly because I’m trying to figure out and handle all these changes that are about to happen, and making sure everything is paid, taken care of, and good before my daughter graduates and we move.

Life is about to get crazy the next few months – more than it already has been – and I’m trusting God to handle it all with me.

That’s really all that’s been happening around here.

My little guy had the nurse call me from school today because he wanted medicine since he’s sick, and the nurse wanted to make sure it was okay to give him something, and my daughter called me from school because she forgot her glasses, so I had to run those up.

Besides changes and parenting – I have nothing big going on – then again – those are big, aren’t they?!

Oh wait – wait – wait…..

I tried dating.

Yes, I did.

After such a long time – I tried to dip my toes into the dating pool again, and it sucked.

I met a guy I actually loved talking to, and he was constantly messaging me, and he was great at communicating – however – he was only 28. I’m 43. He said he didn’t care about my age, and that his last girlfriend was 41. I told him I have kids, and with him not having kids – I didn’t want him to feel burdened by mine if he ever met them, especially because my son is 23, so he’s only a few years older than my oldest son. He’s only 2 years older than what my oldest kiddo would have been if she was still alive. So, I felt awkward. He – didn’t care about any of that age stuff, or the fact that I have kids.

He was fine with all of it.

He then said he works, but that he does live with his parents.

I think that’s another thing that bothered me. Him still living with his parents, which means if I ever wanted to go to his place – there’s really no privacy, and I asked if his parents would be okay with him bringing home a 43-year-old that has kids. He said his parents would just be happy he met someone, and they’re happy – if he’s happy. He said they met his ex-girlfriend, and they didn’t care that she was 41. He said his mom and dad got along great with her, and she had kids as well, so no – they wouldn’t mind me or my kids.

I still felt awkward.

I tried so hard to continue to talk to him, but my older son and I were talking about it, and I was surprised when my older son heard his age and told me, “So what? If he’s a good guy – what’s the worst that can happen? You have yourself a good boyfriend? OH NO!”. Yes, my son was being sarcastic, and he really didn’t care that this guy was only 28 – as long as I was finally happy with someone.

When I told him that this guy still lives with his parents, that was the deal-breaker for my son.

He said that’s a different story, and then he had me laughing when he said he’s 23 – and one thing he doesn’t want – is to be 28 and still living at home with me. My son always says if he’s not out by 25, I need to kick him out. ha.

So, eventually – I decided to part ways with this guy I was talking to, and I will say that he may have been a great guy – (I didn’t stick around to find out) – but if he was 28 and living alone – I may have felt better. I would have totally felt better if he was in his 30’s. I can do 30’s, but 28 was a little weird for me, and him living with his parents at 28 – even more so. I think it’s just the fact that I’m older and living alone with my kids, so I want someone who has their own place as well.

Let me say that there is nothing wrong with living with your parents still at any age because so many people need to go back home. This economy isn’t built for one income and trust me – I know that first-hand, so while I was understanding about him living at home still, he also didn’t seem to have any plans to get out on his own any time soon – which I think is what really bothered me – as well as the age thing.

He didn’t seem motivated to get out.

Not to mention that he had no kids, and I didn’t want him to feel tied down to mine. I think it would have been different if maybe he had a kid or two because then he knows how parenting goes. What really did it for me – was the fact that I mentioned one night that I was out having dinner with friends, and that I planned to have a drink or two when I got home (just a glass of wine) – and he asked why I was having a drink on a Tuesday night – BEFORE BED – like he was monitoring me.

I just felt like it wasn’t a good match, I wished him well, and I hope he finds his person.

Maybe I’m the problem.

Maybe I’m picky. Maybe I should have looked past all of that and gave him a chance? Idk.

Anyway – if you’re still here reading this, much love to you and pray that all the decisions and all the changes in the next few months – will go perfect for me and my little family. 💕

I want my mom.

I want to call her and ask her advice. Tell her everything on my mind. Have her tell me, “Everything will be okay”.

*Insert scream here*

This is the part of trusting God that nobody talks about.

XOXO.

💕Shel💕

Stranger photo sessions, and rewards of hard work and a little Love.

Loves!

Just a little fun thought…………………..

If you want to meet someone special and you’re ready to fall in love, but don’t want to do the bar or club scene – or the dating apps thing – I just saw the cutest way to meet someone.

There’s a photographer that allows you to fill out applications for a photo session WITH A STRANGER, and she will literally pair up whoever she thinks is best together. You don’t see each other until the day of the photo shoot, and she’ll put you back-to-back, you’ll turn around at the same time – and face each other.

I’ve seen so many of her photography sessions where people really look like they’ve been dating forever now, and they’re real couples, but they’re not. They just met the day of…………

How cute is that?!!!!!!

I think it’s a fun way to meet someone, and she does say on her videos that some of her clients are actually dating now and have become couples from her sessions – where they started out as strangers. 🤗

If you’re open to it – why not give it a try?!

Check her out on TIKTOK.

No, she did NOT pay me to promote her.

I just thought this was totally adorable and it’s a new way to meet your person – possibly! If not, you at least – get a fun photoshoot out of it and have a good time. I mean, if I met someone like that – it would be a really fun story to tell people – if we became a couple afterwards, and if not – I’d hang the pictures from the session up over my computer desk and when people ask, “Who is he?”, I’d have fun smiling and saying, “I have NO CLUE! He was a one-time deal”. People would wonder, and I’d have fun letting them. lol.

Book your session and if you meet someone special and fall in love – if you end up with your photo stranger – YOU’RE WELCOME! ha.

*****

On to other things………….

My job.

It can get overwhelming sometimes.

It can get stressful sometimes.

It can get scary sometimes.

It can get dangerous sometimes.

However – it can be fun.

It can be rewarding.

It can be life changing.

It can be exciting.

It can be interesting.

It can be amazing.

I love it every moment of it. No matter what each day brings, and each day always bring something new.

I love it, no matter what happens.

One thing I love the most about it – is knowing that I’m changing lives and knowing that the people in the facility I work in – trust me, love me, and know that they can count on me to care.

They’ve been through a lot in their lives. A lot of them are addicts, previous addicts, alcoholics, criminals, felons, and have been through hell and back. A lot of them have been betrayed, lied to, ignored by society, treated like they’re nothing – so they don’t trust a lot of people anymore. They have problems, and issues. Many of them have mental health issues, and no respect for authority, so if you don’t earn their respect and trust – if they feel like you don’t give a damn about them – you’re not going to like how they act towards you.

But …..if you show you love them, you care about them, you’re there for them, they can trust you, and you respect them ….

If you make them laugh, joke with them, make them enjoy you being there – you’re going to see how real they are. How cool they are. How sweet they can be. How much they respect you right back.

It’s all about building rapport with them.

I’d like to say that my son and I have done that since we started working in this facility, and that we have a pretty great relationship with most of the tenants who live in this facility.

It makes us feel good, and several times now – many of them have come up to us and told us that we are their favorite staff members there.

Many of them look for us, and when they see my car pull up, they come down or out of their rooms just to say hello to us and chat.

It makes us feel good knowing we’re making a difference and they like seeing us at work.

I am totally in love with my job and the work I do there – for the following reasons:

Last week, my son and I were getting off of our shift and one of our female tenants called downstairs to the front office just to tell us goodbye. She said she knew we leave at 3 PM and wanted to say bye before we left. She told us to have a great evening, and she can’t wait until we come back.

Right after her, a male tenant called down to the front office to tell us to have a great night, and said he wanted to catch us before we left because he loves us and enjoys us being there.

We laughed a bit when one of our co-workers who had just come onto the 2nd shift – looked at us, and said, “Whoa! You guys get two calls just saying goodbye and have a good night, and I haven’t gotten any?”. It’s a good feeling when our tenants acknowledge us and show their love for us because it makes us feel like we’re doing something right. 💕 I do know though – that this co-worker who said what she said – is loved there as well, even if she hasn’t gotten any calls like we did. So, I hope she doesn’t feel bad about it.

As we were leaving, another lady sitting in the lobby – told us to hurry back.

So –

We have this guy who lives in the facility – that I’ll call “G”. G likes to draw and he’s so damn good at it.

Some of his drawings are hung up around the facility. He draws native things. He draws beautiful Eagles and backgrounds, and so many other pictures.

A few different staff members have gotten amazing photos that “G” drew for them, and a few months ago – I mentioned that I was going to tell “G” that I wanted a photo. My son laughed and joked about it and he told me, “You can’t just tell him you want a photo. He has to genuinely like you and WANT to give you one of his drawings and photos”. I agreed with my son and decided to just wait it out and see if “G” gave me one on his own.

He always comes to say hi to us when we’re there and joke around with us. He’s a great guy.

When he came down last week to say hello, he showed me a beautiful photo of two Eagles he drew and I absolutely loved it. I thought he was going to give it to me, but he told me it was for another co-worker of mine and asked when she’d be in. I wasn’t too upset because she’s an older lady and she needs and deserves some good cheer, so I knew it would make her happy. I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t for me, and when he went back up to his room, my son laughed that day and joked with me – telling me, “Awe! Are you okay? You really thought that was for you, didn’t you?!”. 🥺🤣

I told him I was a little salty because – yes, I did think that.

Well, we were working this weekend.

Sundays are usually laid-back and chill. Not a lot is going on, so after breakfast, many of our tenants went back to their rooms, and all was quiet and boring.

I decided to print out a coloring page because that’s how bored we were, and my son printed out a few of his own he liked.

Yes, we sat there and colored for a few hours.

As I was coloring my first coloring page – (which was a few 90’s trolls’ dolls) – one of our tenants came out of her room, saw me coloring it, and told me how much she loves how it was coming out. I thanked her. She asked what I was going to do with it when I was done.

I told her I wasn’t sure, and I tried to change the subject because I knew where she was about to go with her question.

My plan was to take the page home because I collect those 90’s trolls – and I was going to frame the page I colored and hang it above my computer desk – where all my trolls are, but then – my plans were diverted. This woman smiled and told me, “I’d like to have it if that’s okay. When you’re done, you can sign it and give it to me if you don’t mind”.

I ended up finishing it, signing it, writing on the bottom “Always remember me”, and giving it to her when I saw her later in the day.

She was so excited, she went and asked our nurse for a frame when our nurse stopped by for a little bit.

She got her frame, came and showed me that she nicely framed it, and said she was going to hang it up in her room.

Listen.

I really wanted that picture I colored, but if it made her as happy as it did – I felt good about giving it to her.

I could have colored another one for myself, but by then – I was over that picture and printed out a new one for myself.

I ended up coloring the one below – to take home and frame. I was going to print out a quote that said, “We’re looking at each other a little too hard to just be friends”, and tape it to the top – to frame it all later in the day.

The hearts in her hair – I did that. I got creative with it. 🤗

This colored picture didn’t come home with me, either.

“G” came down to talk for a bit, and he showed me a photo he drew.

I loved it!!!

It reminded me of my dad because my dad liked country western stuff, things from Texas for some reason, and bulls. My dad loved Rodeo stuff as well, and I have one of his old belt buckles somewhere – that has a bull on it. My mom gave it to me when he passed because I love Rodeos and all that country western stuff – even though I’m a city gal.

So, when “G” showed me this photo –

I wanted it!

It looked like something from Texas. ha. I mean – it also looked like the belt buckle I have.

Like my son says though – “You can’t just ask G for a photo. He has to WANT to give you one!”.

I told him I love it, and how nice it is, and guess what?

“G” – GAVE IT TO ME!!!!! He told me it’s for me.

I was so excited to finally get a “G” photo. My son laughed at my excitement and asked if I thought I was special now that I have one.

YES, I DO! 🤗

It also makes me feel appreciated, and that they love me – just as much as I love them.

I ended up giving the 2nd page I colored of trolls – to “G” to thank him for the drawing he gave me.

My son made me smile when he told me, “I know you didn’t want to give up your trolls coloring page the first time, but you did. So, I guess you can consider that drawing G gave you, God’s way of letting good Karma come back around to you!”. 💕

Good Karma came around twice on Sunday because a while later, a woman I’ll call “Marie” – who makes and sometimes sells Dreamcatchers – came down to the office. She told me she made me something and wants me to have it.

She handed me this:

I absolutely love this as well.

I was so happy Sunday, and this is why I do what I do, and love the people at this facility.

If you respect them, show them love, show you care, show that you have time for them and what they’re going through – they’re going to show you love right back.

So, while this job can get dangerous and crazy – it also comes with rewards, and things like these – that make it worth it.

Fun fact: (not really fun, but me being sarcastic):

We just got a notification from our big boss in our work group chat that gives us instructions on what to do if ICE shows up at our facility.

It’s been said that our governor is cooperating with ICE and Mr. Trump now – to turn over all illegal criminals, and while I don’t know if we have any immigrants in our facility, I will say that it’s scary dealing with ICE at all.

I think here in Minnesota – this has all gotten way out of control, and with people being murdered and hurt in protests – I don’t think anyone is “safe” from it, but I felt comfortable knowing ICE and protests were 4 hours away, and not in our area. Has ICE been in our area before? Yes. Not a lot though, and they did what they had to do and got out. Has ICE showed up at work before? No. So, the thought that it could happen – is a little wild, but all we can do is pray that it is all peaceful if and when they do.

That being said, I have nothing else to write.

My daughter just called from school – to ask if one of her friends could come over, so they can work on a presentation together that’s due Thursday.

While I wanted to say “no”, and maybe tomorrow – she told me they need to get this done, so I said yes, and now – I’m figuring out what to make for dinner, because I’m guessing her friend will stay for dinner. I don’t mind. I’m just a little tired, and that means I have to drive the friend home later.

It’s so cold outside, and once I get in my house after picking up the kids from school, I like to stay there! 🥶

Still, I am happy her and her friend are being responsible and working on whatever they have due.

Love you.

Stay warm.

💕Shel💕

Car rants, life and craziness, some humor and a great movie.

Good evening!

Let me tell you about yesterday and today.

First of all – because I just need to vent and get it all off my chest, and 2nd – because you love me and you want to hear what’s going on, right? ha. Just kidding about that last one, but seriously – I need to just vent, and maybe make you laugh a little.

My car – (You all know Maggie, right?) – decided it was going to start giving me big headaches a few months ago.

I took it to a shop a few blocks from my house – because the guy and his wife are new to the area and need business, and I’m all for supporting small businesses. So, I tried them when my car was acting up months ago.

The husband said he loves working on these cars because in his country – that’s all they drive out there, and he has a lot of experience fixing them. Passat’s, BMW’s, Lexus, etc. – he enjoys the foreign cars. So, when I took mine to him, his wife said he was excited and more than happy to work on it.

He told me it was a bad Spark plug making it do what it was doing, and he changed it for me.

A simple $100 fix.

Although – it wasn’t that.

A few days later – it kept doing what it had been doing, and I was a bit irritated, but everyone makes mistakes and I decided not to hold it against him. I did let him know that it was still doing the same thing, and he asked me to bring it by again.

I went back in and heard it was the Timing chain and something about Cam Shaft Bank 1, as well as a Sensor.

Why he didn’t mention that in the first place – no idea, but maybe he didn’t dig deep into the engine part of it like he did the 2nd time I went back. Maybe the Timing chain and the other things weren’t an issue the first time. Who knows?!

Life got busy and I just forgot about all of it – because it wasn’t acting up all of the time. Here and there. It was easy to forget about it since it wasn’t consistent.

A few weeks ago, it started acting up again and dashboard lights start going on – lighting up like a Christmas tree, but again – not all of the time. Still, it was aggravating and when the dashboard lights lit up – my car would violently shake, and I had to slow down, and it would stop. If the EPC light wasn’t on and the engine light wasn’t flashing – it wasn’t shaking “that bad”, but it was still shaking. Sometimes, I’d get a smooth ride, but for the most part – it shook.

I called this guy’s wife the day before last night and asked her if I could come in the first thing in the morning and since they already quoted me a price, I just told her to have her husband order the parts and let’s get this done. She told me, “Yes! Come in tomorrow morning and he will work on it”. I was told he needed all day with my car to completely fix it, so I was going to sit there with my laptop, watch movies, and just wait for as long as he needed me to.

His shop is cozy, he and his wife are lovely people, so I didn’t mind.

However – when I went in, he had no idea what I was talking about, and I guess his wife didn’t mention anything to him. He was working on another car and told me he can definitely take care of my car next week. I told him it wasn’t going to wait until next week, and that it’s violently shaking now – anytime I drive it – instead of once-in-a-while. He told me he can’t do the Timing chain or sensor that day, but he did say if I come back at 2 PM, he’ll figure out why it’s shaking and see if he can at least take care of that for me.

Being irritated and wanting to drive this car onto the middle of the lake and leave it there – I told him I’d be back at 2 PM, and I did just that. I drove it right onto the lake and left it there.

I walked right back onto the solid land and prayed the ice would melt and take my car down, so I’d never have to see it again.

No, I didn’t do that.

I’m just joking of course – but – that’s not a bad idea. 😁

Instead, I agreed to come back to him at 2 PM to have the violent shaking checked out.

I got impatient though, it was -30 outside and felt like -53 here in Minnesota, and once I went into the house, I knew I wouldn’t want to come back out. So, I called a shop further away and asked if they could check it out. I was thrilled when they told me to bring it in and they’d figure it out for me. I asked how much and I was told “free”.

Many shops charge a fee to figure things out, so when they said they’d do it for free – I should have known it was too good to be true!

I get there and the guy I talked to on the phone said he didn’t understand what I was asking over the phone, and that he’s sorry, but for them to put it on the code scanner and figure out what the problem is pointing to – it would be $65.

Me: You’ve got to be kidding! $65 to give me some codes that pop up and figure out what it could be based on the codes?

THEY DO THAT FOR FREE AT AUTO ZONE DUDE!!!!!!!!

He said they do a deep dive into it based on the codes, and I laughed and told him I was NOT paying $65 for something Auto Zone does for free. Really free. I walked out.

I went and got Starbucks because when I need to figure shit out – it requires a good cup of Coffee. lol.

I sat in the mall parking lot yesterday and called so many different shops at 9 AM.

Some were closed due to the cold weather and weren’t opening until Monday. Some were so booked, they couldn’t get me in until next week, and the one who told me to come in, and he’d be happy to check the car out for me – was just a muffler shop and said he could put in on the scanner for free and pull codes to at least give me an idea of what it could be. Again – Auto Zone was right by me and I could do that there, but I already have codes from another shop weeks ago that did that.

Are you getting a headache just reading my dilemma? I had a headache going through it.

I was talking to my aunt, and she asked if I could take an UBER or LYFT to work just for one day if I couldn’t get anyone to look at my car.

That would be great – IF WE HAD ANY OUT HERE!!! We literally live in the middle of nowhere and there’s barely any taxis that come to our area or we have to pay over $100 for those. She calmed me down. She really did calm me down, because I was ready to call my car company and just tell them to get this car out of my sight. Keep it. Take it away and keep it. I’ll pay whatever I owe on it still – as long as I don’t have to look at it anymore. I was done with repairs and issues, etc.

After many calls – I finally got ahold of one shop, and the guy was such a sweetheart. He heard my issues going on with the car, the annoyance in my voice, and giggled – telling me, “Come on in. I got you!”. I thanked him a few times and told him I’d be there within 20 minutes – shaking all the way there.

Tony’s shop was a huge garage with an added-on spot for the mechanics and their desks.

Tony saved my life, and he was honest, respectful, and amazing at making sure my car was safe.

He did hook it up to the scanner and came up with a few different codes that pointed to a Sensor needing to be replaced, as well as something to do with the Timing chain, so at least I know the shop by my house is right this time. Tony couldn’t change the Timing chain because he didn’t want to mess with my car when it came to deep repairs, but he was more than happy to show me I totally needed an oil change, absolutely needed a new filter, something about a coil I believe it was, and he let me know that my car rims / tires and underneath – was fully packed with snow and ice.

He said that could be causing the violent shaking, and nothing major. So, he did all those minor repairs, changed the oil, and thawed out my car’s undercarriage, as well as getting all the ice and snow from around the tires, etc. He looked under the car to make sure everything was good, nothing needed to be replaced under there and told me it looks great. He did say if I wanted him to – he would send me up to another area to get the Timing chain taken care of by his good buddy who loves working on foreign cars, but I told him I have someone I’m supposed to have fix it – this week coming up. (The guy from the shop a few blocks down from where I live).

I had a lot of shops telling me they don’t work on foreign cars because a lot of these cars are so complicated to fix, and parts are hard to find sometimes, so I ran into that issue as well. Not a lot of mechanics out here want to mess with this damn car. I called car dealerships and none of them wanted to mess with it, and the closest dealer that specializes in cars like mine – is hours away, so I was thankful Tony came through for me yesterday and took time out to get me in.

I froze my ass off sitting in his garage because again – it’s just a garage. Barely any heat, and for three 1/2 hours, I tried to ignore that fact that the heat was almost zero. It was ice cold in the shop, and he apologized for it. Part of me wanted to say he should move the computer desks and all the stuff into the bigger garage and use the add-on as a customer waiting area with tons of heat and Coffee, but I kept my suggestions to myself.

At one point, one guy was sitting in the office with me – by his desk – and the lights in this add-on garage went off.

When another mechanic came in and asked if we wanted him to hold the door open for light, I was the first one to yell out, “hell no!”. They laughed. I told him I don’t mind being in the dark waiting for my car, but he better not open that door.

When my car was done, Tony test drove it and he came back into the garage flying. I wanted to joke and tell him, “That’s a little fast whipping into the garage in someone else’s car like that”, but I left it alone. 😁 He fixed the shaking issue, and it was something so simple. I drove home happy, NOT SHAKING and grateful for him. It hasn’t done that shaking stuff since, and I’m hoping once I get the Timing chain, Cam shaft junk, and sensor changed – the lights on the dashboard will go away and the car will drive right again.

If you’re still here reading me vent – THANK YOU! ha.

Love you all.

So today, – I was up early for work and my little guy spilled water on the floor.

No problem – because he got a towel fast and cleaned it up. I didn’t get mad. I stayed calm. I continued to get ready for work.

He then went to throw the towel in the dirty clothes, missed the hamper and somehow managed to get the towel into his bedroom where it landed, and he knocked over his cat’s food. DEEP BREATHS! DEEP BREATHS!

I decided I wasn’t going to say anything to him, but I grabbed the vacuum and cleaned it up myself.

I had to get to work, and upsetting myself that early was not going to help. Me saying something to him and getting him all upset – was not going to help. It was an accident and we had a small talk about NOT throwing things.

Work went by fast and everything was fine.

I came home and realized I didn’t pay my car insurance, so I had to take care of that.

My older son wanted cupcakes, so after making dinner – I whipped up a batch of Oreo Cupcakes – that – by the way – I made an hour ago and he still hasn’t touched. 😶

I finally had a few minutes after dinner and cupcakes – to say hello to Simba (my little dude’s cat) and realized he was half-closing one of his eyes. All I saw in my mind – was dollar signs because now – I’d have to take him to the vet if that didn’t go away. I am pretty sure he got something stuck in his eye or he scratched it – either one.

After the day I had yesterday and the morning I had today, I had cupcakes untouched on the stove cooling off, I had a cat with an eye issue, paperwork that needs to be filled out for something, my daughter asking me when we’re going dress shopping for her Winter formal dance in a few weeks, and I work early again tomorrow morning.

I am exhausted!!!!

I keep forgetting to pick up bins to start packing because I’m pretty hopeful that we’re moving this summer, and I’m just ready for bed.

It’s currently 8 PM and I think after I put my little guy down in his room for bed, I’m going to watch a movie until I knock out.

And – if you’re still here reading all of this, GOD BLESS YOU – because I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now – or if anyone just clicked out of this post the first 20 lines – but if you made it all the way to the end – YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!!

I’m sure many of you can relate to the everyday hustles and bustles of mom life, mom/work life balance, pet issues, car issues, bills, things forgotten, errands that didn’t make the cut today, things not picked up, uneaten cupcakes that were begged for (lol), and the craziness of just life in general. And if so – big hugs to you because you’re not alone, but I always say – if you can find the humor in anything and everything wild and crazy that happens in your life – you’re amazing.

Humor makes everything better and easier to deal with! So, I like to use it to make myself feel better and to realize that at the end of the day when my kids are in bed and I have a glass of wine in my hand – listening to silence – I can smile and Thank God for another successful, crazy, blessed day. 🤗💕 And – for helping me keep my sanity through it! lol.

One more thing before I get out of here……………………………and thank you for letting me vent……………………….

My younger son asked if I wanted to watch a movie the other day, and we did.

He picked it.

We watched 👇

It was the cutest movie, and I would absolutely watch it again!

I recommend it, and hope you check it out with your kids, or even by yourself one night if you’re looking for something to watch.

Little Stevie is a girl who has it all. Great loving parents who also love each other. A big house. A little brother who drives her crazy, but she loves dearly, and so many other wonderful things.

And then – she finds out her parents aren’t truly happy with each other anymore, and she has to figure out how to keep them together.

Her little brother finds a book about the Sandman, and they realize if they can just dream long enough to get to the Sandman – they can possibly make Stevie’s wish of “the perfect family” come true forever.

They go through all these scary, funny, crazy, wild dreams and adventures to find him.

Some parts of the movie are hilarious. Some are sad, and I admit – I cried. I cried like a baby, and I laughed when my little dude told me, “Mom! It’s just a movie!”.

Stevie has to eventually make a choice between the dream world and the perfect family with her parents together and happy again, but a life without her little brother, or living in reality.

I don’t want to say anything else about it but do go check it out!

Let me know if you do! 🤗

Goodnight.

💕Shel💕

Maggie and I – may break up soon, saying goodbye to a great man, and A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestie!

So, yesterday – I tried to trade “Maggie” in – for a family SUV.

Something bigger for road trips.

Something with more family space for the kids when we’re in the car.

Something where we can pack tons of stuff into it and still have room.

My car is pretty, but it’s definitely not a family car. It’s way too small, and I didn’t think about that when I got it a few years ago. My car falls into the same class as Audi’s, and I’ve gotten many compliments on how much people love it. Some have even thought it was a BMW when they first see it, and I’ve had to correct them, but that’s how nice it looks.

It’s a foreign headache!

It’s expensive to fix if anything goes wrong. Some parts have to be ordered or come from overseas. I’m ready to break up with this damn car.

I’m ready to get rid of it, and yes – I named it “Maggie” when I first got it.

My last car before Maggie – was a Ford Explorer and I absolutely loved that SUV. It had so much space.

That was “Stanley”. 🤣 I figured I would try to trade Maggie in – for another Ford Explorer. My last one went into a ditch in the beginning of 2021, and I got Maggie in July 2021.

I called this car dealership near my area yesterday morning and told the guy who answered – what I was looking for. I told him if he didn’t have any Explorer’s, I’d take a decent sized family SUV that was priced right if I could trade my car in. He told me to come on in, and as soon as I walked in – we didn’t even sit down in his office to chat first.

He held up keys and handed them to me – as I thought to myself – “(This must be what celebs with tons of money feel like walking into dealers)”.

I asked what he was putting me into, and he said a 2025 Ford Explorer. He pointed to where it was located, so I could go test drive it, as I handed him my keys to test drive mine and figure out a trade-in value for it. My daughter was with me, and she made me giggle when we got into this fancy and beautiful SUV – and she said, “Let’s go to Chicago!”. I made her laugh when I told her, “I mean – he technically didn’t say where to test drive the car to! If I should happen to end up in Chicago, that wasn’t my fault because he wasn’t clear!”. 😁

I loved the SUV. The screen on it looked like the size of a laptop screen. It was a push to start – (but so is mine), and the Drive, reverse, etc. – was just a knob you turn, and it does this fancy dinging noise. I WANTED IT!!!!!

I test drove it, and my daughter asked if I was eventually going to turn around and go back, because I just kept driving and driving. I told her I was taking in the new car smell and the new car feel, but I did turn around and go back.

I walked in and told the car sales guy that I wanted it, and we talked numbers.

Here’s the thing.

As much as everything in me screamed “TAKE IT!!!!!” – and I know I truly deserve it and wanted to give it to myself as a graduation gift for the last 4 years of working my ass off for my Criminal justice degrees – another part of me was trying to scream some COMMON SENSE into my mind. Truth is – my car is almost paid off, and I don’t have that long to go – so instead of getting myself into a mess with getting a new $50,000 SUV and having years and years of more payments – I can just pay off the car I have now, and save money to drop a good down payment on something a little less expensive.

I can’t wrap my head around paying $50,000 for a brand-new SUV when I want to drop a down payment on a house this year or next year.

I really had to think about it, and I’m not rapper – rich – as I call it. I can’t just say, “I’ll take it”, and know I have a million in the bank still.

I’m a single mom – just barely getting by, and as much as I know I want it, love it and deserve it – it took everything in me to walk away from it. 🥺 He mentioned something about putting down $4,000 and leasing it for three years, and if I want to own it from there, or trade it for something else – I can do that.

I still walked away.

When I got back in my car – I was a little sad about it, but it just made sense to not get myself into another car note that would possibly be a headache in the future. I have no idea why or how cars are so expensive these days, but it’s sad what this world has come to – when it comes to money and everything being way overpriced.

Yes, I probably could have leased it if I wanted to, or even made a huge down payment on it, and taken it soon – but I know it’s not in my best interest, and I also know there’s other SUVs out there – that are way less money and are still in beautiful condition, so I passed. Not to mention – they weren’t going to give me much for my car.

I did have to laugh when I said I was so tired of the car I have now, and the sales guy mentioned that I could just leave it on the lake. I told him, “As soon as the ice starts to melt”, and we both laughed.

I still may look around and trade my car in for something bigger – better – and with less headaches or payments, but right now – I also know I want to get the hell out of Minnesota this summer, so I have to play it smart.

I’ll update on the car situation when and if “Maggie” gets traded one day soon.

*****

In other news, you all know my son and I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some small-time criminals, drug and alcoholic addicts, and some with mental health issues – right?

One of things we messed up on and did – was get close to them.

I don’t regret it because while our city doesn’t want to deal with them, and anyone who hears where they live – cringes and tries to avoid them – our staff – including my son and I – know them personally. We know that a lot of them are so sweet, amazing, helpful, funny, smart, etc. We care deeply about the tenants in our facility we work in, and we try so much to show them compassion, love, care, understanding, etc.

I say we messed up getting close to them – because it’s always heartbreaking – having to say “goodbye” to one of them if one leaves, or one passes.

A few weeks ago, we had one that passed away. We got close to her, and she was such a sweet and funny little firecracker of a person.

We then had one that decided to move out. That was sad because I looked forward to seeing her every day, or hearing her give attitude playfully and yell, “WHAT?” – every time I called her room, or she was down the hall. She’d laugh when I’d tell her, “You know what? Now I don’t want to talk to you!”.

A few days ago, one of our other tenants that I’ll call “Dave” – went to the hospital. Dave has some health issues that are getting worse, and the last two weeks – the hospital sent him right back, but a few days ago, he was admitted and was sent to ICU. He’s not doing well, and the day before last – my son and I went up to visit him – since most of our other staff did so as well.

He was sleeping when we got there, and I called his name twice before he opened his eyes, saw us and smiled. I held a straw up to his mouth, because he was struggling to drink water. They brought him his dinner, and he had us smiling when he complained – in short whispers – that he doesn’t want three meals a day.

We joked that there’s nobody to keep us on our toes at work, and he has to come back to yell at people or instigate things like he used to. He smiled.

We had a great visit, and we laughed so much when he whispered something a few times, and when we couldn’t understand him, it took everything in him to yell out, “$5!”. He wanted money. I laughed and asked where the heck he plans to go if he gets $5. He had no idea, but then he asked for his check. Our tenants get checks every month – I believe it is, so I told him they’d hold on to his checks for him – until he came back.

He had us laughing when he smiled and whispered, “Bring me my portion up here”. 😁 He’s in ICU and he can still joke around. He has Oxygen and can barely breath or talk, but he can still joke around, and I loved that. I miss that at work, and seeing him every time I walk in. Some of our tenants get alcohol portions to stop withdrawal symptoms, so that’s what he was talking about.

A few weeks ago – before he went to the hospital, I walked in at 7 AM and he was waiting for me like usual, and yelled out, “THERE SHE IS!”….but – this time – I had to tell him no. He wanted his portion, and I told him, “It’s not happening!”. He looked at me so funny and confused and asked why not. I told him I heard he hasn’t been eating breakfast or lunch, and he can’t live on alcohol alone. He got upset, but you know what he did……………..?

Marched himself right to the kitchen and ate something.

We have another guy there – a younger guy that I’ll call “Noah”. Noah is in an on and off again relationship with one of the women who live in the facility, and he gets so jealous over her, so when he found out she may be dating a new guy, he flipped out one day.

As I was trying to calm him down, Dave chimed in while he was listening, and yelled, “She’s with everyone! What is he complaining about? Leave her alone!”. My jaw dropped, and I prayed Noah didn’t hear him from across the room because it would have angered Noah even more – while I was trying to calm him down. I turned and told Dave to please behave and be quiet – as he laughed!

That’s the Dave I’ll forever remember.

Funny. Sarcastic. Loud. Vocal. Stubborn. Wild. Crazy. Fun. Silly.

I wasn’t there the night he went to the hospital, but they sent him back to the facility many times before, so I thought he’d be back. We had no idea that this time – he may not be. This time – may really be the end.

The night we were in the ICU to see him – when we said we were leaving the hospital, but we’d be back this weekend to see him again, he gave my son a fist-bump, and he grabbed my hand. I held his hand for a few minutes as he looked so tired and drained. His breathing was shallow, and he started closing his eyes. I told him to get some rest, and again -that we’d be back this weekend.

But – as I tried to pull my hand away gently, he squeezed it and wouldn’t let go. 🥺 He broke my heart when he whispered with his eyes closed – “Everyone left”. I whispered to my son that Dave wasn’t letting go, and we both felt bad. I almost wanted to pull up a chair and tell the nurses we’ll be there overnight, but we couldn’t do that.

I held his hand until I thought he was sleeping, and I tried to pull my hand away again, but he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand again – holding on once more. So, I held his hand, watched him close his eyes again, and I sat there with my son – in silence – looking at the T.V. with no sound – as we watched it.

Eventually, I did pull away slowly, and tell him we’re praying for him, and we love him.

I couldn’t turn around and look as we walked away, but my son did – and he said Dave was watching us leave with this sadness in his eyes. My son mentioned, “I don’t think he wants to be alone”. Once we left that room – the tears fell.

I cried so much. I cried on the way out of the hospital. I cried in the car. I was still crying on the way home.

I know Dave probably won’t live much longer and it crushes me.

I’ll always remember him as the vibrant, goofy man that walked around with humor, talking shit to everyone.

We do plan to go back Saturday and see him again if he’s still here on this earth, and I’m going to miss that man so much when he leaves it. 😶

*****

Before I get out of here, I have to share that today is my best friend’s 44th birthday.

Her name is Trish.

She and I met in 2nd grade when we were both 7-years-old.

We met because of the class clown, and we’ve stayed friends all these years.

We have so many funny and great memories together, and I’d be here forever if I were to share them all – but I just wanted to make you giggle and share a few of them – while also celebrating her day. 💕

The Twins (but NOT!) story:

She and I used to tell everyone we were fraternal twins. (Not identical) – obviously.

Many people believed us.

For example – in 6th grade – we had this boy James in our class who didn’t at first, and said if we were really twins, he wanted to see a photo of us when we were little. We had no idea how we were going to make that happen, but that night – my best friend Trish – called me and told me, “I have an idea!”. Her cousins were fraternal twins, and she had a photo of them when they were babies.

One has blonde hair and blueish eyes, which Trish has – and one has brown hair and Hazel eyes – which I have, so she brought that photo to school the next day and showed James. He absolutely believed us after that – thinking that was us when we were babies, so we started telling more people who didn’t know us – that we were fraternal twins. (James was new at the time) and didn’t really know us.

We went to the mall one day, and we were in the photo booth taking photos. When we got out of it, an elderly woman smiled at us – as she sat on the bench next to it – enjoying her ice cream. She said her and best friend used to do the same thing when they were our ages.

We were teenagers at the time, and we started talking to her and told her we were actually fraternal twins. She asked when our birthday was, and without really thinking about it, I told her my real birthday and Trish told her when her birthday was. Mine is in June. Trish’s – January, so of course – the lady asked, “Well, how are you fraternal twins if your birthdays are six months apart?”. We just looked at each other, laughed and realized we needed to get our birthdays straight if we were going to pretend to be twins.

After that, we settled on some birthday – same day and agreed to tell people that was ours. 😁

We’ve even been STEP-SISTERS! (Story).

We went to high school together and we always told the teachers we were stepsisters.

Nobody ever questioned it.

One day, our homeroom teacher said he had to have a talk with our parents because we had both been cutting classes, and he wanted our parents to know. He asked who he should get ahold of, and because we said her dad was married to my mom, the homeroom teacher said he would probably call them both.

We had NO IDEA what to say or do – but we were sure that our little “stepsisters” story was about to end.

Oddly enough, my mom and her dad said they would come in, but lucky for us – they would be there at different times that same day – as they both worked. They had no idea we were telling teachers we were stepsisters.

So, her dad came in first.

I was headed back from my locker and while I was walking down the hall to homeroom – Trish was standing outside the room with the teacher and her dad. We both gave each other scared and nervous looks, as we smirked and we both heard the teacher tell her dad, “Her and her stepsister”. We still don’t think her dad heard it to this day because he didn’t say anything about it, but MY MOM – she caught it fast.

When the teacher told her, “Her and her stepsister” – my mother was confused and asked, “STEPSISTER? She doesn’t have a stepsister!”. My mom was the one who ended that stepsister stuff.

🤣

“CHAT ROOM? WHAT’S THAT?”

One of the best memories we have together – is one 4th of July when I went to her house a few years back, and we were sitting on the porch having a few drinks – while my kids played with her nieces and nephew.

Next door to her – there was a teenage boy who lived there, and he liked to come outside and bug us whenever I was there. This one day, he was outside – and he kept running his mouth trying to insult us and make us mad. We kept ignoring him because we’re two grown ass women – who could care less about a teenager talking shit to us. lol.

When he said, “You guys are so old, you probably used AOL chat rooms before, and you were around when they were around!” – Trish had me laughing so hard when she asked him, “What’s an AOL chat room?”, and said that sounds fun.

He looked so shocked and asked, “You don’t know what a chat room online is? For real?”. She said no and asked how to use one. We were laughing and laughing, and this teenage couldn’t believe it. He started explaining chat rooms to us and said we can talk with people on the Internet. Trish laughed so much when I asked this teenage boy, “What the hell is the Internet?”. He looked at us shocked, placed his hand on his face and said, “This is going to be a long day!”. Trish asked – through laughter – “What’s this Chat you speak of?”.

He really believed we had no idea, and he ended up shaking his head, told us “You guys are hopeless”, and went inside – as we laughed the entire time. He probably called his friends and told them, “The middle-aged women next door have no idea what the internet or chat rooms are! Can you believe that?”. 🤣🤣🤣

Of course we do! We were in AOL chat rooms on the internet before he was even though of! ha.

The BOX – phone bill problem“:

Another memory I’ll never forget and we still laugh about – is when we were teenagers and back then in the early 90’s – the BOX (Channel 13) I believe it was – was super popular.

The BOX – was where you could call in on your landline phone, dial three numbers to any video you wanted to see – as the numbers to those videos scrolled at the bottom of the screen, and they’d play those videos you requested. The cool thing was – you could see people’s video choice numbers being typed in as people called in. The bad thing was – each video cost between .99 – $3.99 and would charge your parents phone bills.

We didn’t realize that when we were calling to request videos.

When my mom got her phone bill one month and she called me downstairs SCREAMING – because it was over $300 – she was SO MAD and demanded to know what THE BOX was. I got grounded, and she ended up having our phone company block THE BOX phone number.

My best friend was there when my mom yelled at me and got the phone bill, so I laughed when she told me she better go home and see if her parents got their phone bill.

Good times!

“Shaving cream gone wrong!”

Our 8th grade graduation field trip – was to Springfield, IL. – to go see Lincoln’s home and some other places.

The night before, I spent that night at Trish’s, so we could leave at 5:30 AM together, walk to school and be there on time to get on the buses with our class.

We couldn’t sleep because we were excited and kept talking all night and watching movies.

Finally, around 3 AM – we started getting tired, and felt like we should probably go to sleep, but she had the idea of grabbing shaving cream, going into her brother’s room, and putting it all over his head. She did that, and at 4 AM when we decided to get one hour of sleep – her brother came out of his room, sat on the couch and we couldn’t stop laughing.

He called us idiots. He asked why we were laughing. He told us we were stupid. He told us we have problems.

We were laughing too hard to care what he was saying – as we saw all the shaving cream spread out all over his hair.

Finally, he went to use the bathroom, saw all the shaving cream in the mirror, and went to tell their father.

Their father woke up, had him wash his hair, and screamed at us.

Their father told us we had to be up early and should be sleeping, not messing around. He yelled that we were immature, and he shouldn’t be up dealing with our bullshit at that time of morning. He went on and on.

But………….

When Trish’s brother went back to his bedroom, their dad looked and made sure he was in there – before he looked at us, smiled and whispered, “Next time – do it right! You put it in his hand and tickle his nose!”. We laughed so much, as their dad giggled and went back to bed. 😁

We’ve had so many fun memories, and we’ve always been there for each other through some the toughest times in our lives.

I am so grateful for our friendship and that it’s lasted 32+ years and still going strong, so today – I want to say a very big

to my best friend, Trish!

Your friendship has gotten me through so much, and while I keep my circle small these days – I am so happy to still have you in it. 💕

I love you, TWIN / Stepsister. haha.

Some fun photos of us.

This is when she grabbed my little guy when he was just a baby and rocked him to sleep.

Trish always says she doesn’t like kids, so on this day – I told her it looks like she LOVES them. She laughed and told me, “Only when I can rock them to sleep and hand them back to their parents!”.

I believe this was the 4th of July when the kid next door had to explain what AOL CHAT and the internet were. Kid, we were AMERICA ONLINE and AOL chat long before your parents thought you into existence.

One of my favorite photos of us! 🙂

To everyone else, I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend.

The weather is starting to get decent, but you never know around this damn state.

Love you!

💕Shel💕

A funny Q-tip story, a few other things and a fantastic movie with a great message.

Hey there loves!

So, the kids and I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters a few days ago, and we absolutely enjoyed the show.

It was hilarious.

It was entertaining.

It was amazing.

For those who don’t know who or what they are – what rock have you been hiding under?

YouTube some of their videos and watch them play. Watch them act. Watch them do tricks. Watch them make you laugh.

They play Basketball – but they have fun with it. They joke around. The tease each other. They tease the team they’re playing. They interact with their fans. They give prizes and gifts. They do all kinds of things on the court.

My mom, my daughter and I – have been to one of their games a few years ago, but my older son didn’t want to go, and my little guy was too little to understand it. Now that he’s 9-years-old and knows all about sports, it was more exciting to take him as well. My kids had so much fun as they yelled, cheered, clapped, and truly enjoyed that night. ❤️

Many arenas where they play – allow kids to bring their own Basketballs to be signed at the end of the game – (which is what my kids did), or they can buy a Globetrotters basketball / Souvenir at the games – and have them signed.

I laughed when many of the kids yelled, “6-7” – when the Globetrotters score reached 67.

My little dude was upset though because a lot of the kids who were sitting down by the court seats – were called onto the court and given gifts and souvenirs, so he felt some kind of way, but I told him that the kids sitting around him – or further away from the court – weren’t getting anything, so he wasn’t the only one.

However – when we were down by the court after the show – getting autographs, we were almost done and had a few more to get – as we walked over to the star of the show that night (Thunder).

One of the players (Spice) – came running under the rope they set up to separate the crowd and the players. She made moves like she was about to play Basketball with my little guy, and she ended up taking off her headband, putting it around his head and joking with him.

He was SO EXCITED! I was SO happy he finally got something, as he yelled out, “I didn’t think I was going to get anything from any of the players”. It made my mama heart smile. 😁 She will probably never see this – but THANK YOU, SPICE!!!! You made his night special.

I took more videos than photos, but we had such a great time, and my kids can’t wait to go again.

We asked for Spice’s autograph, but because it was time for the players to leave, she said they took her marker away, but she’d be more than happy to do a photo. So, we did that. My Elijah took photos with most of the players, but my Kailani – she didn’t want pictures. She hates photos these days unless she’s taking them herself.

We laughed when player (Thunder) told her she’s not getting her ball back unless she gets in the photo, but he did give it back to her.

They are so down to earth and will do almost anything to make a fan happy. Go see them if you ever have the chance.

*****

In other news – Senior assassin starts next semester – which I believe – is a few weeks away, but my daughter’s friend brought two gel pellet guns to school today and asked me to put them in my car to hold on to them. One for her, and one for my daughter.

They’re taking this seriously, and I can’t wait until it starts – to see what Seniors get other seniors, what kind of cool gel guns they have, and where they catch their classmates out and about. 😁

I think I mentioned before that the only rules are – they can’t get their classmates at work, or at school.

Anywhere in the town – or out and about – is fair game!

I’m excited to see how much fun my daughter and her friends have during this little Senior war going on soon.

Anyone else do Senior assassin in high school or have teens ready to do it?

Unfortunately, I don’t even remember that being a thing when I was in high school. I missed out.

*****

Oh. Let me tell you a funny story before I forget.

My daughter was in the walk-in clinic about a month ago because she couldn’t hear.

Her ears were clogged with wax, so they ended up flushing a good amount out, and they told her NOT to use Q-TIPS – like she had been doing. They said it would push the wax further into her ear, and that Q-tips are only for the outside of the ears and to clean around them.

I told her not to use Q-tips so many times, but she didn’t listen. This week – when she kept telling me she couldn’t hear again and wanted to go back to the walk-in clinic – I waited to see if it would get better, but it didn’t.

We went last night.

When the doctor looked in her ears, one was clear and the other – had wax in it.

As the CNA flushed the wax out, she noticed something else in there, so she called the doctor in to have a look.

Sure enough – there was a good chunk of part of the cotton of a Q-tip – balled up and stuck inside my daughter’s ear. 😶 The CNA let me have a look, and I was able to see it deep down in there. Oh kid, what the hell?! lol. So, it took three big bottles of their solution – to spray all in there and finally break down the cotton enough – to flush some of it out, flush the rest to the near surface, and for the doctor to be able to go in there with a small tool and grab the rest.

They got it out, but it took a good hour, and I hope my daughter learned her lesson this time about Q-tips.

PLEASE DON’T STICK ANY Q-TIPS INSIDE OF YOUR EARS, and any other small foreign objects for that matter! We laughed about it after. The CNA was having such a good time with it and she was laughing. I told her this is totally a story for a college party (as the CNA was only 21), and the doctor kind of giggled – kind of not.

Still, the CNA was awesome at breaking up most of it, as the doctor did 5 minutes of the work, and the CNA did the rest of it.

We also laughed when I had to pee, and I asked where the bathroom was, and then asked what room we’re in, so when I come back – I can easily find the room. She said, “Room 15”. When I left the bathroom, I walked into room 15 – only to find a guy pacing back and forth with his back turned to me – (thankfully) – 🤣 and I quietly closed the door. I heard my daughter laughing with the CNA – which is the only way I knew she was in room 11 – and not 15.

When I told the CNA, she laughed so much and told me how sorry she was.

I told her, “At least the guy wasn’t naked, and at least he didn’t see me walk in on him”.

My daughter asked me if she’s my “problem child”. I giggled and told her, “No, but you’re definitely the one who gives me the funniest stories to tell!”.

Lord, help me!

What it’s like having a teenager daughter – be like……………………..

haha.

Before I get out of here because I really have nothing else right now –

I just wanted to take this time to talk to the moms out there.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a single mama, divorced, married, in a relationship – whatever.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired, exhausted, and feel like you’re not doing enough – when you do EVERYTHING for your household and your kids – if you have it all and for some reason, can’t find your happiness….PLEASE – PLEASE – watch the movie:

(MOM’S NIGHT OUT) – on Netflix.

It will make you think twice and make you appreciate and love everything you have, and it will help you realize that through the beautiful messes we go through every day, with everything life throws our way, and through all the chaos and noise – we have it good. We are blessed. We ARE enough and doing enough!

It’s such a great movie, and I found it on accident, but I needed to see it.

It made me laugh.

It made me cry.

I related to this movie so much, because sometimes – no matter how much I do for my kids – no matter how many bills get paid – no matter how many hours I put in at work so my kids and I can have it all …. I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel like I should be doing more, or like I’m not enough for my kids.

Sometimes, I just need to feel like I can sit down and breath for a minute and I don’t get that time often.

Sometimes, I feel like nothing is going to get easier, and I get overwhelmed, tired, mentally and emotionally drained, and I feel like I failed in so many ways.

Life really does do its thing and makes us moms feel like we’re not good enough or like we messed up along the way in different areas of it. So, when I saw this movie and realized the cute and amazing message it gave – it made me feel better.

Life isn’t going to be perfect. Us moms aren’t going to be perfect, but – when we think we failed, or we could be better, do better – others may look at us and wish they had it together like we did. They wish they were doing or did have the things we did. Sometimes, we don’t know who is looking at our lives and thinking our lives are perfect – and we’re over here wanting to scream and trying to hold it together like glue that just doesn’t stick.

NEVER be jealous of anyone’s life – because you don’t know what other moms are dealing with, feeling, going through and they could be holding on by a little string as well.

This movie is great, and if you’re a mom – just sit down, pour a glass of wine when the kids are in bed, and give it a watch. It’s totally worth it and will make you realize that you’re not the only mom out there who is barely making it!

YOU’RE NOT FAILING, and even if your life is a mess right now – (like mine is) it’s a beautiful mess, and if your kids are happy – (like mine are) – you’re doing a great job getting through it. 💕

YOU GOT THIS!!!!!

One of my favorite country singers (Trace Adkins) plays in it. He’s the big, bad biker dude “Bones”.

Without giving the movie away, there’s a part in there where Allyson tells Bones she feels like she’s failing, and he tells her, “I doubt God made a mistake giving your kids the mama he did!”. That made me feel good because a friend of mine once told me, “Shel, God don’t make mistakes! He knew who he wanted this baby’s mama to be!” – when I found out I was pregnant with my little guy, so I agree with that. God picks us moms for a good reason, and he knows that many of us are going to have a hard time, but we’re also strong enough to be moms and do this thing.

In the movie, one of the younger moms tells Allyson, “You have it all figured out”, and she smiles and tells her, “Not even a little bit!”. I agree with that. Same here, sista!

When people tell me they don’t know how I do it all by myself, I want to laugh and tell them, “I’m hanging on by a small – thin thread and I want to stand in a field somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs”.

My oldest would have been 25 if she were still alive.

My older son is almost 23.

My daughter will be 18 this year.

My little guy will be 10 this year…………….

And I still don’t have it all figured out, so I could relate to that and this entire movie.

Sometimes, through the madness – the sadness – the heartbreaks – the stress and drama – the crazy stories and moments we get to live through and tell (Like the Q-tip story above) – through the emotional and mental draining, the headaches, the wild moments that make us moms want to scream – the overwhelming feeling of not doing enough……………

There’s beauty in all of it, and when we really take the time to sit down, look at our happy kids and smile – we learn to cherish the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between – that life takes us through.

So, give the movie a shot, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did because the message in it – is great.

A little preview for you……………………

I believe it’s an older movie from 2014 I’ve read, but still a great one, and I think many moms all over will appreciate it.

I know I loved it!

To my mamas – and even the dads who feel like they’re not doing enough or feel overwhelmed and exhausted – you don’t have to be perfect. Just be there for your kids, make sure they’re happy, and make sure that you take a little bit of time for yourself once-in-a-while.

Just without all the craziness of what goes on in this movie. 😁

I have to run and grab my kids from school and go make plans for my older sons’ birthday.

He turns 23 in a few days.

I’m exhausted right now just thinking about it, but life goes on.

Love ya!

❤️Shel❤️

Forced Doctor visits and a great book!

It is 1:25 AM as I write this.

Insomnia really is a struggle.

I’ve been tossing and turning since 10 PM.

So, I got up and decided to jot a bit.

I have to be up to get ready for work at 4 AM, so this is probably a bad idea.

The good news, though?

I had to go see my doctor a few days ago, and he prescribed me a sleeping pill.

I still haven’t picked it up yet, but I plan to do that tomorrow from the Pharmacy.

He asked if I’ve tried things like going to bed later, reading before bed, listening to music, etc.

After I told him I’ve tried it all, he got to typing and told me what he was going to prescribe me and told me to try it to see if it helps. I shall let y’all know how that goes. 😊 It better help – because my sleep is all messed up, and as soon as I get to sleep, I can’t stay asleep.

So, let’s chat!

The doctor visit:

It was forced.

You know I don’t go to the doctor or hospital unless I absolutely have to.

The DMV kind of forced this one.

In 2016, I had a little medical emergency and woke up in the E.R.

Since then – the DMV liked to play this little game of, “We have to check on you and make sure you’re safe to drive”. I promise you – there was no drugs or alcohol involved, and I blame lack of sleep, exhaustion, burnout and a long day – when this happened. Nonetheless – I was behind the wheel, and thankfully – I was in a parking lot when I passed out.

Again – we’re talking about almost a decade ago!

Serious shit, I know!

That was before I moved to Minnesota and my doctor back then – wrote it off as nothing more than a medical emergency and said I was good to go. They ran tests, they did blood work, and everything came back fine. I was told what I could do to stop it from happening again, and it’s been almost TEN YEARS since that day – without it ever happening again.

I also haven’t heard from the DMV in so many years, so imagine my surprise when I got a letter stating that my license would be cancelled if I didn’t go get ANOTHER form signed by my new doctor here in Minnesota – stating that I’m okay to drive. WTF. I was so aggravated, and I called my doctor’s office, but they couldn’t get me in until the 8th. No, that’s not going to work, and this is why!

I explained the situation to the lady who answered – and finally – she asked if I wanted to “come in and see him at 3 PM today”.

That was a few days ago.

I’ve had this doctor here in Minnesota for about a year 1/2 now.

He was amazing at getting me in, and he signed that paperwork right away – making sure to have his nurse fax it quickly to stop any actions against my license. He laughed about it and called it “absolutely ridiculous almost a decade later”.

THANK YOU!!!!!

THAT’S WHAT I SAID!!!!!

Okay, I understand it. I get that they have a job to do and they have to make sure everyone on the road is safe to be on the road, but A DECADE LATER??!!!!!! Still, we giggled about it, and he did what he had to do.

Once he finished the paperwork, I expected to thank him, tell him “Have a great day!”, and be on my way.

No!

My doctor had other plans.

He says, “Well, it’s great to see you, and since I have you here – and I haven’t seen you in a while, we should just go ahead and do a follow-up visit”. I laughed and told him, “This is why I don’t come here. You want to sit and talk about everything else that I didn’t come here for”. He laughed, and he knew I was joking, but I was also very much serious. Sir, I’m just trying to be on my way. 🤣

He asked a few questions about how I’ve been feeling, asked if I had any new changes in my health I’m concerned about, if I was getting enough rest – (no – because you just prescribed me sleeping meds). You know the answer to that! ha.

He asked a few other questions, and then he listened to my lungs / heart. He went over my lab results from the last time I had lab work done and told me everything looks great and asked me if I had any questions for him or anything I wanted to talk about.

Did I ask him if he could give me tummy tuck?! Yes. Yes, I did!!!!

I gave him my best look.

(Photo by S.P.M. on Pinterest)

He looked at me and smiled.

He told me, “If I’m being honest, would it be a benefit? Yes, but I don’t really think you need it. I think with enough slow and steady exercise, everything would tighten up on its own”.

No. That’s not what I’m trying to hear.

He continued and said if it’s something I really want to do, we can look into it, but there would be a process to go through. Seeing a dietician first, seeing a psychologist, and making sure I’m okay for it. I didn’t know I’d have to jump through so many hoops, and while I totally get the dietician part of it – I was confused about the Psych part.

I guess it’s because doctors and surgeons want to make sure that the person getting the tummy tuck – or whatever surgery they want – has realistic expectations from it, has a strong mindset for it, they’re mentally stable, and to prepare the person for the emotional challenges after the surgery.

Makes sense.

I told him, “Let’s do this!”. He put in a referral and said they’d call me in a week or so to talk to me and we’d go from there.

Maybe I don’t need it. I just have the typical “mommy tummy” as I call it, but I don’t like it, and I want it gone. It almost made me feel good when he said he didn’t think I needed it, but – I disagree. Maybe I’ll get into my workouts, see results and decide against it. Who knows?

Anyway, this adorably cute doctor of mine – finished up our visit, looked at me and told me, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”. I laughed and told him, “Oh, I’m going to be a stranger. You know I don’t like this place. It’s not you. I just don’t like doctors and hospitals”. He laughed and told me, “I know”. I thanked him and went on my way.

My daughter was with me and she had me laughing so much when she asked, “Why did it sound like you were breaking up with the guy? You said – It’s not you…..”. 😁 I mean, it’s true. It’s not him. It’s me. If he wanted to meet up for coffee, or dinner – or a movie – then I would definitely not be a stranger, but in the professional doctor / patient setting, no thanks!

The man is very much married though, and I don’t break up marriages, so even then – it would be a no.

So – my license won’t be cancelled, and he basically told the DMV to stop bothering me – in his medical terms. lol. The tummy tuck thing? Possibly happening.

Other than that –

The book:

I just started reading this book I keep hearing SO MUCH about.

Women all over TIKTOK are talking about it, and all the emotions it brings out of them.

Some have cried talking about it. Some have been playfully mad talking about it. Some have been like, “What the hell, dude?”. It’s all over the TOK and it got me interested in reading this book that’s going viral.

This book so far – has made me smile. It has irritated me. It has made me smile again. It has made wonder why the hell Jaime is playing with emotions and playing both sides like he is, and then it made me wonder why the hell in the college years – “B” is playing with emotions and playing both sides like she is – and has me wondering WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????????????????????????? WHY CAN’T THESE TWO FIGURE IT OUT?????????????????

First of all – the book starts off by saying on the inside:

“One day, whether you are 14, 28, or 65…you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However – the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find – is – they are not always with whom we spend our lives”. – Beau Taplin.

I FELT THAT. It’s such a real quote.

But –

This book starts off with this Junior in high school – running with her best friend, and she accidently bumps into this cute Senior boy she says she saw first. It goes on to say, “Truth is – I lost the ability to do anything the minute I looked up at him. It was an unfamiliar, warm ache that spread through my chest as I used my hand to shield the sun streaming in behind his silhouette, just how you’d expect the first sip of Whiskey to feel”. She goes on to refer to this boy – as “Whiskey” since that day.

I don’t want to give the book away in case you want to read it, but you should totally check it out.

Pick up a copy or download it on Kindle – which is where I’m reading it now and give it a try. I recommend it!! He does end up liking her friend, so why is he texting “B” – telling her “Take a ride with me”. The book had me hooked the first few chapters, and eventually – while she’s in love with “Whiskey” – he’s supposed to be the boy she never sees again after high school – but…………………………….

Na. I can’t spoil it for you. Go read it. Seriously – it’s a great book so far, and I’ve been through some emotions myself reading this. I just got my daughter into it, and even she – is like “WHAT THE HELL?”. haha. She hates reading actual books, but this one – she’s really into as well. She has actually gotten way ahead of me.

She laughed in the car the other day when I was parked somewhere reading it, and on page 60 – I yelled out, “NO WAY!”. As I kept reading in shock, I yelled out again, “NNNOOOO WWAAAAYYY!”. 🙄🤣💕 There were two big shockers.

Anyway – get you the book and have a good read! Let me know what you think if you do.

I got this from GOOGLE:

  • Star-Crossed Lovers: Breck and Jamie’s story spans years, marked by undeniable chemistry but poor timing.
  • Addictive Connection: Readers describe feeling “intoxicated” by the story, mirroring the novel’s title and central theme of addiction and intense feeling.

My loves.

I feel like I had something else to write about, but I can’t think of it right now, and I’m getting tired actually.

I’m going to end this here and hope you all have a great week!

💕Shel💕

New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

So, how did everyone’s New Years Eve go?

Mine was laid back and chill.

I grabbed pizza for the kids before I came home, and I planned to get a bottle of wine for myself, but I actually skipped that.

The kids ate and my sons were in bed early, so they knocked out and I didn’t even wake them up for the ball drop, or anything. I let them sleep, because as long as they were warm, safe and peaceful – if they wanted to bring in the NEW YEAR with snores – I was all good with that. 😁 My daughter and I stayed up the whole time watching the NEW YORK events, performers, people, and then what we thought – was going to be the ball drop.

Anyone else disappointed we didn’t get to see that?

After the countdown – the view went to the crowd and confetti.

I think many people have mentioned something about not seeing it, and how odd that was.

Either way – we then watched the little bit of LIVE streaming Chicago had going on for their first ever ball drop, and we were disappointed to know that while (Chance the Rapper) was hosting it and performing a bit, he wasn’t seen much from what people in Chi-town are saying. Still, I heard the fireworks were beautiful and the city was peaceful that night. ❤️

I heard a few other music artists were down there as well. The ones who are from Chi.

Many years back – Chance the Rapper – donated a good amount of money to some Chicago area schools, and one of them – was my older daughter’s school – (Benito Juarez Community academy HS) – in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood. My older daughter still went there at the time, so she was so excited to tell people that her school was one of them on the list.

I’ll always have love for Chance – and any other rapper / artist who decides to give back to their cities that they came from.

Once we watched the celebrations in NY and Chicago, and they were over – Kailani and I wished each other a Happy New Year, and we both went to our rooms and knocked out.

No selfies that night. No loud music. No wine.

Just living in the moment and relaxing.

She did have to make it known – as soon as the New Year hit – that she will be “graduating this year”, and She will be turning 18. I’m a little sad about that, but we’ll deal with that when those two major events roll around.

So…..

Did you make any resolutions for 2026?

Let me share some of mine.

Weight loss:

I’ve been on this journey for years now, and I keep messing it up.

This year, it has to be taken seriously because I’ll be 44, and my kids need me to stick around a lot longer.

I’m not young anymore, and if I want to be there for them for many more years, this is one way to guarantee it.

When I lived in Chicago and then moved to Minnesota, I was slim. I was active. I enjoyed working out and being on the move all the time.

When my oldest child was taken from this earth, that’s when things got bad. Really bad.

I stopped working out. I wasn’t active for a long time, because I just wanted to be in bed all day.

I would shower, go to work, and do nothing after.

I wasn’t eating right. I was drinking. I was depressed, angry, confused, and had so many questions that I’d never get the answers to. Things got bad for years, and I just didn’t care, so instead of cooking homemade meals like I used to and doing things outdoors, or going places – I’d pick up fast food, eat, and go to sleep.

I’d take care of my kids of course. Took them to school, helped with homework, made sure they ate meals, made sure laundry was done and the house was clean all the time, but – other than what I had to do – there was no working out, or taking care of “being fit” because my oldest was gone. I didn’t have a will to live, or to care about me. So, I gained weight, and kept gaining because I wasn’t active anymore, and I was eating whatever, drinking whatever. Sleeping for hours.

In 2025 – I promised myself it’s time to get back to the old me. The me who worked out. Who was active. Who didn’t even have time to eat because I was making so much money and had dreams / goals, and ambitions.

2025 – just helped me heal a little more, and to finally accept that my oldest was gone, and I’ll never get those answers I felt like I needed. That I wanted. That I struggled so hard to get from whatever happened that night she was killed. 2025 – I knew I needed to get back on my “A-GAME” and get my money right – get my fitness back together – and make sure I was taking care of me as well – because I have kids, and you can’t pour from an empty glass, right?

I was drained for years. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

2025 – taught me that I’ve been down and out for too long, and it was time to get my ass back to God, and to get back on my feet after years of struggling with depression, anger, and a pain no parent should ever have to go through.

2026 – THIS YEAR – This is for me. This comeback is personal. This year – I’m doing everything I plan to do, and that includes getting fit again. Eating better. Thinking better. Living better.

Okay, so we have an event tomorrow and my kids made me promise them McDonald’s after. 🤣

And – we still have leftover Christmas cookies. So, I promised myself that on the 4th – I was going to plug in the treadmill that usually holds clean clothes that need to be hung up when they come out of the dryer – and I am going to get my ass on there every day – maybe twice a day.

I said I was going to go for more walks, drink more water, and eat right this year.

I’m going to 100% get out of this funk I’ve been in for years now and get back to the me that I was when I lived in Chicago, and when I first moved here.

I do need to lose this weight I gained over the years, and while some people will look at me and tell me I’m crazy or there’s not much to lose, I can see it and feel it, and I want it gone. So, that’s a goal I plan to accomplish this year. To at least – get back down to what I was when I packed up my life in IL. and moved to MN.

For anyone trying to do the same – let me also say that while it’s NOT easy trying to eat right, exercise and lose weight – cheat days are okay, as long as you only have ONE of them here and there, and it’s okay to NOT exercise everyday – as long as when the next day comes – you get up and go at it again. 😊

Moving to civilization:

Another 2026 New Years resolution I have – is to move my kids and I – closer to civilization.

The little town we live in is dead. I mean – dead. dead.

We don’t have much around here, and everything is usually closed down by 8 PM or earlier.

Everyone is in each other’s business. If you do something, people are going to know before you blink an eye.

Gossip travels fast.

Everyone knows everyone or is related to everyone.

Last names matter here.

This little town is boring and there’s not much to do, unless you want to drive miles and miles away, hours and hours away, and have to travel back home again.

In the nearest bigger “town” – we have two or five of everything.

There’s no variety of anything here.

We have two McDonald’s. Two Burger Kings. Three Starbucks. FOUR Caribou coffees, and a bunch of random pizza places all within 5-10 minutes of each other. We have a bunch of banks, and car washes, but nothing really for kids to do.

No real stores. We have everything on repeat, and our mall is just as dead as these towns.

In Chicago, there were so many good food places, and a huge variety of cultural choices.

In Chicago, there are tons of stores upon stores of different kinds, and they’re all so close together and you don’t have to travel miles or hours to find something for the kids to do. There are tons of places for kids to go in IL.

I thought I wanted the country life – until I got it – and was hit with the reality of it. ha.

Now – I know why people leave small country towns for bigger cities.

So, in the next two months – I plan to buy a bunch of bins, pack up everything we don’t use right now or need out, and put them in these bins. I plan to stack them up in a corner somewhere and get rid of things we don’t want to keep or need. I plan to have the kids do the same in their bedrooms and get rid of what they don’t need or want, pack up things they’re taking with us when we move, and get everything ready.

In April – I plan to start looking for work near a place in Wisconsin – closer to IL. or – in a suburb near my aunt and uncles in IL. because I love it there, and drop the money on a place, so when my youngest daughter graduates, there’s a moving truck in the parking lot and we already have a place to move to.

We are so ready to get out of here and get back to a variety of food places – (although I don’t need that while trying to hit my weight loss goal), a variety of stores, and things to do. We’re ready to get back to being closer to friends and family. We’re so ready to get back to places being open late, or 24 hours in some spots. We’re so ready to be where there’s better job opportunities, and more money.

We’re just ready to go.

So – this month and next – are going to be filled with packing and cleaning up the apartment we’re in now, and April – will be the month of searching for a place and dropping money on it – so when May comes, we’re starting over – somewhere else, and leaving 6 long years in Minnesota – in the dust.

I think the first year of this place was our happiest, and after that – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into moving to this small town. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, I love hearing the cows next door “moo” when I open the windows and they’re out. Yes, I love hearing the gunshots when it’s hunting season, but – I’m just ready to be around the familiar places, people, and things I grew up with back home.

No, I don’t want to move directly into Chicago, but yes, it will be nice to be at least an hour from family and friends – and not almost 10 hours.

So, that’s a resolution of mine this year.

Getting the hell out of dodge and going back towards who and what we know.

Career:

There are no career opportunities where we are now, and one of my biggest New Years resolutions – is to be offered a job as a probation officer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I had a probation officer – which is a story for another time.

Since then – I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to become one and help other juveniles change their lives – like she helped me. Like many people just like her – including a few cops I met along the way – helped me.

Oddly enough, they don’t need probation officers in our little area – even though there are plenty of kids who are in need of one, but we only have a few.

I was so excited the beginning of this year when I was still in school for my BA degree in Criminal Justice, and I applied for and was offered an internship for probation, but – because my school and the county needed to create a contract for me to do this, and it took forever – I was graduating before I ever got to do the internship. I was literally a few weeks away from graduation when a contract was finally set, but by then – it was too late because the internship would go towards my credits and I already had those.

I was bummed, but hopefully – knowing there’s so many career opportunities in bigger cities I’ve been looking into moving to – maybe it will finally happen for me.

If not, at least there’s more opportunities for other positions in the field I went to school for.

I love the job I have now – dealing with those who were once homeless, who are alcoholics, drug addicts, have mental health issues, etc. but – it’s not my dream career and the pay sucks. I do it because I love it, and I love the people, but it’s not forever.

Stepping into my dream career for 2026 – is a goal of mine.

Debts:

This year is going to be the year that I will work two or three jobs if I have to – or pick up a side hustle – to get myself debt – free. I don’t have a lot of debt, but I do plan to pay off my car and trade it in this year to treat myself to a little graduation gift – since I completed both degrees over the last 4 years and haven’t done anything nice for myself to celebrate both degrees.

This year is going to be the year that I work my ass off and pay off whatever I need to – to make sure that my only debt – is my new SUV if I get one, a mortgage if I’m able to drop some money on a house this year or next, and my basic bills. I don’t think that’s too much to set as a goal, is it?! This year is the year that I don’t want to worry about any finances, and I just want to live my best life with my kids.

This is the year that I want to do more traveling, see more places, and do more things with them.

This is the year I want to say, “Yes – I have extra money. Let’s go out this weekend!” and really mean it!

I want all my debts cleared, and I don’t want to worry about anything this year, except what the kids and I are doing on my days off.

God:

A good friend of mine and I were talking a while back and we both decided to start reading the BIBLE more this year. To really study it and write down our favorite quotes and scriptures, stories, lessons, etc. and not just read it – but REALLY read it and focus on it. We plan to talk about it, share our thoughts with each other, and make it our “go-to” when life is kicking our asses.

We both said our souls are a mess and we need to get right with God. lol.

We found it hilarious yesterday when I left her a message saying, “Get your Bible ready. This is our year. We said we were going to do this”, and I told her what I plan to do, and without listening to my message – she sent me almost the same thing, so we took it as a sign that God is up there like, “Let’s go girls! It’s time!”. haha.

I feel like this year, I need to trust God more and stop trying to run everything.

These are just some of my goals for the year. Some of my New Years reslutions.

What are yours?

If you want to hear a funny story about God – let me share this with you before I get out of here. 😁

On Christmas Eve, my son got paid and asked if he could use my car to do some last-minute shopping and run a few places. I let him, but because my car needs work – I told him not to go far.

He was headed to the nearest bigger city 30 minutes away, and I got a phone call from my daughter. She went with him.

I answered and I heard a police officer loud and clear in the background but couldn’t hear what he was saying or what was going on. My heart dropped!

You know my oldest was killed in a car accident, and now my other two children just took my car – and I get a call and just hear the cop talking. Finally, I heard my son say, “Is mom on the phone?”. My daughter said yeah, and she said, “Hello?”. I kept saying hello before she said her first hello, and I was so relieved to hear both of their voices. I asked her what was going on. She said she had me on speaker, and that they got pulled over.

I was so grateful it was just that and that they didn’t get into an accident or hit a deer.

I was so grateful they were both okay.

The officer got on the phone and said the reason he pulled my son over – was because the tabs were expired.

I told him the car has been giving issues, so I try not to drive it a lot, but I just ordered the new tabs online and that I have the insurance on my phone if he wanted me to send proof to my daughter, so she could show him. He said that would be great, so I did.

He gave my son a warning about driving without the new tabs and the insurance card on him, and he let them go.

My son came back home, and they told me that the officer told him that I also have to take the cross I have – off my rearview mirror. He said it’s an “obstruction to view”. It’s a small cross that says, “For he will command his angels to guard you in all your ways”.

I told Frankie it’s not coming down.

Frankie (my older son) asked if I was seriously going to leave it up. I sure am!

He asked what I was going to do if that same cop stops me next time and tells me the same thing.

Me to said cop if it happens: “That battle is between you and God when you get up there, but it’s not going anywhere. I’ll take the ticket, but don’t cry when you have to answer to that man up there when you meet him”. 😁

I had my kids laughing, but I thought it was funny.

Good Lord, I’m just glad they are okay because I panicked that day.

I have to get out of here and get ready to start my day, but you all have a beautiful weekend…

and I love you!

❤️Shel❤️