Tag: kindness

Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, my brother called me last week.

Yes, you read that right. My brother. The one I haven’t talked to in months because he keeps blocking me if he doesn’t like when I tell him the truth about what I think, or what he needs to hear.

I looked at my missed call list and totally ignored his call.

I didn’t plan to talk to him because I’m so tired of him blocking me. Unblocking me. Blocking me. Unblocking me.

It got to the point where I was okay if we never spoke again – if it meant I get to keep my peace and not have to worry about the pettiness that comes with his drama.

However, a few days later – he was texting me.

He misses me. He’s so sorry. He realizes he was being childish. He went on and on about why I should talk to him, including a few jokes along with his texts. He said he blocked me because I kept asking about his new baby that his ex-fiancé had – and he had no answers for me.

I asked him what was going on with court, because he started a court case to see his daughter and he did nothing with it once it was filed, and he met (yet another) new fiancé he has now. I was irritated that he wasn’t even trying to fight for or see his newborn daughter.

Anyway, he and I were talking the other day – (because he’s still family) – and he ended up asking if I remembered a few people we grew up with in – or close to the same neighborhood. I smiled because I remembered many of them, and he told me about the ones he still talks to or has on his Facebook and told me what some of them are up to these days.

He ended up asking if I remember Jayla and Jayden. *Names changed for privacy*.

I absolutely do!

Jayla was one of my good friends when we were teenagers, and I haven’t talked to her since we were in our late 20’s, and I found her on Facebook years and years ago. For some reason, we ended up losing contact again. Her brother Jayden – was such a cutie when we used to hang out as teenagers, and he and I would always flirt.

Jayden gave the best hugs and if I was having a bad day, he’d take me in his arms, squeeze me and wouldn’t let go until I promised him that I was okay.

We were always hanging out with them or at their house when their parents were at work. They had a few other brothers as well.

So, when he asked if I remembered them, I asked if he still talked to them. He said no.

I put my cell phone on speaker and quickly looked up Jayla first. I noticed she hasn’t posted anything for years, but I found her Facebook, and on the random chance that she sees it – I sent her a friend request. I then looked up her brother Jayden and found him right away.

He’s in his late 30’s now, but he’s still so handsome.

I sent him a friend request as well. He accepted it a few hours later.

He messaged me right away and talked to me like no time had passed at all. 🤗

I told him that I was going to ask if he remembers me, but when he started talking – I didn’t need to. He laughed and made me smile when he said, “Of course I remember you! I had the biggest crush on you back then!”.

I read the message like:

Wait a minute!

You never told me that!!!

I admitted that I also had the biggest crush on him, and no. I never told him that because I didn’t know he felt the same way, but we were teenagers. We were so young, and I laugh about all of it now.

We talked on Facebook a few days ago – about our kids, the lives we have now, me earning two Criminal Justice degrees and moving to Minnesota, him still living in IL. and just laughed about the good old times when we all used to hang out and get into trouble.

He said he really misses those days, and so do I!

We had a nice conversation, and it felt good talking to him again – but then – I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said, “Married to”, and had her name attached to it. He asked if I was married. I said no. I told him I’ve been divorced since 2013, and just to see what he would say, I asked if he was married. He was honest and said yes, but they’re having problems.

I didn’t ask any questions because that’s not my business, and truthfully, I was just happy I was able to reconnect with him – as a good, longtime friend of mine from way back.

When I went to look at his other photos on his Facebook page, I realized he deleted me.

Oh.

Ok.

I messaged him and told him he should have just denied the friend request if he was going to delete me, but I don’t think you can send certain people messages unless you are friends on Facebook at first, so I think he did it because of that. Idk.

I did tell him I wish him the best.

He messaged me back and he gave me his cell phone number.

He replied with, “I do want to continue to talk, and keep in touch. I just don’t want my wife seeing you on my Facebook, and I have to sit and explain everything to her. We’re having problems and I don’t need her drama or her asking questions”.

I understood that, and I asked if she was the jealous type. He said, “Yes and no”. I had no idea what that even meant, so I didn’t ask – but I knew that if he had to hide me from his wife – maybe this was one of those chapters in life – that should just stay closed.

If he couldn’t tell her that nothing ever happened between us, we were good friends when we were younger, and we just reconnected – then maybe – it was best that we just said hi to each other, talked about the good old memories, and moved on with our lives. No numbers. No keep in touch. Nothing.

He then asked me to send him a picture, “So I could have something to dream about when I go to bed”. Yep. That’s what he literally said.

I almost wanted to go on the Facebook of his wife, take one of her photos, and send it to him.

Dream about your wife, dude!

I didn’t do that.

Anyone who knows me – knows I don’t come between marriages, and I have morals, dammit! lol.

I told him no.

I felt like him having to hide our friendship from her, and him asking for photos of me – was crossing more lines than I wanted. I was just looking to reconnect with him after all these years, and it would have been nice to see him again one day if he wasn’t married, but the fact is – he is married – with a few kids.

He needed to respect his wife.

He needed to respect me – as just a good friend from the past – who would have loved to stay friends if I didn’t see what his intentions were that night.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

If you’re not happy in your marriage, sit your partner down and talk it out. If you feel like it’s just not going to work out – get out of the marriage. I know so many people in unhappy marriages, and instead of leaving – some of them would rather cheat, flirt, lie, hide other people they may be happy with.

I never understood that.

So, I told him I was going to bed, and I had work in the morning – (which wasn’t a lie), and I told him it was nice talking to him – and I closed that chapter of my life – again and for good.

I was a little bothered that he felt the need to hide me.

I was a little sad that he didn’t respect his wife enough to not ask me for a photo (of my ass as well), and that it went the way it did – instead of us laughing and catching up like old times, but – it is what it is, and I’m happy he’s alive, well and doing okay.

That’s the end of it.

No. I won’t be using his number.

Anyway – let me tell you about work!

I giggled when a co-worker of mine told me yesterday – that anytime she talks about people at work – to her boyfriend, she always uses “alias” names, and she laughed when I told her I do the same thing when I’m blogging.

I mean – privacy is key, right?!

Some of you enjoy my work stories and I love telling them.

We have a man I’ll call “Chino”, and I think I talked about him before.

Chino has memory loss from an accident he was in many years ago, but he’s still so funny and wild.

The memory loss is only once-in-a-while, but when he gets it – it hits him bad, and sometimes – things he forgot about will come back out of nowhere.

His girlfriend that I’ll call “Shannon” – passed away last year, and he hasn’t really talked about her since. We all thought he forgot about her – and he probably did.

The other day, I was coming back from down the hall and he was panicking. He asked me where Shannon was and told me he can’t find her.

The facility nurse and I – asked if he meant his girlfriend. He said yes.

I was happy when the facility nurse told him gently, “Chino, she passed last year. Don’t you remember? You went to go see her before she passed”. He seemed so upset to hear that news, but slowly – he did remember.

This job is so much fun, but times like these – break my heart and we do have sad moments at the facility.

Yesterday, I was working and he came downstairs and asked if I had his money card.

I said no. I told him that his case manager would have it. I asked him if he wanted me to call his case manager to come to the front. He said yes. So, I did.

While we were waiting, I asked what he wanted his money card for, and he said he wanted to go to Duluth, MN. He said there’s a homeless shelter out there he wants to stay in for a while, because he wants to see new things and travel the world.

He said he can’t stay in one place for too long, yet – he’s been in this facility for years now and doesn’t recall sometimes. Other times, he can tell you exactly how long he’s been there.

Yesterday, he came downstairs many different times asking who has his money card, despite me telling him it’s the case manager, and despite him talking to the case manager about leaving – many different times.

He’s done this before where he’ll talk about packing, getting his money card and hitching a ride to Duluth, but yesterday – he told me Duluth a few times, then he kept saying Fargo, ND. So, eventually, I joked with him and asked where he’s going for real – because he doesn’t even seem to know.

He insisted he was going to Duluth.

He kept talking about how he “wants to see the world before he dies”. The man is young. He’s super young – so, I told him that and joked that if he wants to see the world, he came come into the office and I’d pull up a map with photos for him. I joked that I would go next door to the antique shop and even buy him a spinning globe to see the world.

One of those old school globes that classrooms used to have. He laughed.

I think the case manager just kind of brushed it off as Chino doing what Chino does …talking about leaving, and he’s right there going nowhere the very next day, forgetting he was even wanting to go.

Still, when Chino talks about leaving, I kind of just joke with him and play into it – knowing most likely – he’ll be there on my next shift, and I’m okay with that. I adore Chino.

He did make me laugh yesterday because he always asks for coffee, I’ll give it to him, and he’ll stand by the front desk and pour sugar – spilling it all over the door counter, leaving it for me to clean up. So, I joked and asked him who was going to make me clean up their mess if he leaves?

He replied, “I know huh? Don’t cry about it!”. lol.

****

Jay-Lee.

My Jay-Lee.

She’s a young girl.

Such a sweetheart, and so very vulnerable, so I try to look out for Jay-lee when I’m at work.

She’s an alcoholic with a lot of health issues.

She gets black-out drunk, stumbles in the facility, or she needs staff to go get her because she’s laying on the ground somewhere outside and others come and alert us.

A few weeks ago, she met my daughter.

I took some important keys home with me and had to go back to bring them in, and my daughter was with me. Jay-lee gave her a big hug when I introduced them, and I told my daughter, “If you get a Jay-Lee hug, you’re special! She doesn’t just hand those out freely!”. My daughter laughed.

My daughter then told me quietly, that Jay-Lee was crying.

I looked at her, and she was.

Jay-Lee said she doesn’t have her kids in her life right now, and that her mother doesn’t really talk to her, so I knew it made her feel some kind of way – meeting my daughter. I felt bad.

I told Jay-Lee, “How about this? This is my baby at home, and when I come to work, you’re my baby here?”. She smiled and joked about me being young, too! She told me, “You can be my big sister!”. That’s what Jay-Lee is to me now. My little sister. She walks around calling me, “Sis”, and I look out for her like she’s my little sis.

This past weekend, Jay-Lee was drunk.

Her boyfriend came and asked if someone could go get her outside because she didn’t want to get up.

My son and I work together on the weekends, so since he’s a bigger guy and he knew he could lift her into the wheelchair, he grabbed the wheelchair and went out to see where she was. He made it back inside with her, and I took her up to her room.

We had a “Come to Jesus” meeting! 🙄

I looked her in the eyes, and told her – “Baby, you can’t do this to yourself anymore! It’s one thing to have a few drinks on the weekend to relax, but it’s a whole other monster you’re messing with – to get blackout drunk and not remember what happened the next day, or to be passed out somewhere where someone might leave you there to be raped, or murdered! You’re playing with fire, little sis!”.

She started crying. She kept telling me, “I know! I know!

I sat there and brought up a few different incidents that have happened in the building and out of it when she’s been so drunk like this before, and how things could have ended up really bad, or did end up bad.

Did I tell her that her kids are going to see her in a casket sooner than later if she keeps this drinking up? I did.

She said their father died a while back, and she didn’t want them to lose their mother.

I told her, “But they’re going to J. You’re not healthy and you’re not making good choices!”.

She was in tears, but she needed to be told reality.

I brought up consequences, and choices.

We talked about all of that, and I told her it has to stop.

She said drinking gives her something to do.

I told her if she wants something to do, call me – and we’ll go hang out, or play pool, or do something constructive. She cried more and told me that everyone is older than her and since she’s so young, she feels pressured to drink, to which – I brought up choices again and how pressure = choices.

How choices = rewards or consequences.

Her uncle is in our facility as well, so she asked if we could find him that day.

We ended up going back down to the lobby and when we got there – her uncle was there.

He was angry and asked why she keeps getting so drunk, but he took her back to his room, so he could watch over her for a few hours.

As much fun as I have working there – as much as I joke around and enjoy some of my interactions with our tenants / residents – we do have those sad moments. Those serious moments. Those times we have to be tough and tell it like it is.

Jay-Lee said she’d like to hang out with me instead of getting drunk, but she doesn’t even have my phone number.

I told her I’d give it to her when she sobers up.

But then – we have those funny moments as well…………..

****

Julian is our newest resident.

He moved in recently, and before that – he came to visit his girlfriend who also lives in the facility, so he would always give me shit (in a good way), and just bother me or joke with me.

He’s pretty cool.

I just found out he was approved to move in a week ago, and he says, “Now I’ll be here to bother you all the time!”. I playfully rolled my eyes, and told him sarcastically, “Oh joy!”.

Yesterday when he moved in – I was about to eat lunch and as I was sitting at the desk, he snuck up on me and scared the hell out of me. I told him from now on, I’m waking him up at 7 AM – on the dot – banging on his door like I’m the police.

I told him I’m going to get on his nerves now.

He laughed and told me, “Don’t do that!”.

Oh no, sir! Fair game now. haha.

No, I wouldn’t do that, but it was funny telling him I would.

******

JoJo.

My JoJo.

We have a woman there who I’ve gotten so close to, and she’ll come down often to chat with me and keep me company.

I’m so proud of Jojo because even when the temptations of this world and being an addict – tempt her to go back, she refuses and she’s been clean for so long now. Jojo is such a strong woman, and I admire her for her strength to keep moving forward and not give in to temptation – no matter what life throws her way.

JoJo makes me feel so bad sometimes, because if I’m leaving – she’ll ask what I’m going to do tonight, what I’m making for dinner, or she’ll say, “Take me with you”. I remember one time I told her we’d have to bring her over for dinner one day, and she took it to the – “Yeah, we’ll have a sleepover party”. 🤣Wait girl – nobody said anything about a sleepover. lol.

She’s awesome though, and I love talking to her.

A few days ago, as I was walking through the parking lot after my shift – and going to my car, she screamed my name out of her 2nd floor window. She yelled, “Take me with you!”. I yelled back, “Come on! Jump out of the window. I’ll sneak you into the car!”.

Jojo always wants to come with me when I’m leaving or tells me she just wants to get out of there for a while, and I know those are her cute little hints for an invitation to go anywhere!

I promised her that when I go to Hobby Lobby to put together something for my daughter I want to give her for graduation – I’d take her with. So, a few days ago, she asked me if I did that thing for my daughter’s graduation yet. I smiled and told her, “No, but I did promise you that when I go – you’re coming with me!”. I then told her that she has to stop me from buying the entire store though, and she made me laugh when she said, “Oh hell! I’ll be shopping with you. You can’t trust me to stop you!”. 😁

Jojo makes me giggle, especially the faces she makes when she sees someone she doesn’t like.

She’ll sit there looking them up and down and I have to pray that Jojo behaves herself, and doesn’t say anything, but she’s usually pretty polite unless someone provokes her.

Truth is…

When I move out of this town and hopefully state – I’m going to miss the hell out of these people and one day – I hope to come back and visit.

Minnesota is a beautiful vacation spot, but not a great place to live if you’re from a bigger city originally.

*****

Moving.

We have two months until we move.

I just ordered more moving boxes, and we’re starting to fully pack up, bring everything to the living room and stacking stuff against walls to prepare.

I know eventually – I’ll have to probably make a list of places I want to go look at, head out to Wisconsin or IL. and make my choice on our new place. I know I’ll have to rent the U-Haul and load it up on that last day that we’re here.

The new owners are more than happy to give me my deposit back the same day we leave – instead of making me wait weeks for it like some have to – when they leave this place.

I’m scared. I’m excited for our new adventure. I’m worried and nervous, and also a little annoyed.

Moving is so stressful, and it was so easy to move to Minnesota, but it seems like it’s such a task to move back.

I think I’ll feel better once we’re in our new place unpacking, and we can finally breath again – knowing we have more job opportunities, we’re close to friends and family, we don’t have to drive miles or hours to see dentists, doctors, or just to do something fun, and – when we’re back near civilization.

These 6 years living in a small town – next to a farm where we can open the windows and hear the cows – has been different, exciting and fun at times – but – there’s not really a lot to do, and there’s been so many times I’ve felt lonely – because we don’t have anyone out here.

4th of July’s – are so hard on me, because in IL. people start shooting of fireworks a week before it.

I miss that!!!!

The day of – they’re shooting off M-80’s at 5 AM – and the fireworks – the BBQs, the fun – it all goes from 5 AM until 3 AM or later – the next day.

Out here in this small town – crickets and frogs. Yep. That’s what we’ve heard on the 4th of July. Crickets and frogs.

It’s so dead out here.

So, while I wasn’t sure if we were going to move or even be able to move – maybe this is God’s way of pushing us to something new, telling us HIS PLANS – and making good things happen.

Life doesn’t go the way we plan it sometimes, and I’ve always been told that we don’t get to do what we want. Sometimes, God has his own plans, and he’ll make life uncomfortable for a little bit – to see if you trust him or not. I do.

The next two months are going to be filled with graduation planning, moving planning, and – a busy schedule.

My loves.

I hope all of you have a beautiful week.

I plan to go have coffee tomorrow morning – with a great friend I made out here a few years ago.

My soul feels “lost” right now, and I have so much on my mind.

I always feel better sitting and talking to her over a cup of coffee, so she asked if we were still on for tomorrow, and absolutely! 💕

💕Shel💕

Non-existent Nipple piercings, work insanity, and cute shoes.

Non-existent Nipple piercings, work insanity, and cute shoes.

Shel R.Leave a comment

Good morning my darlings.

(Photo above – is thanks to Chica Dibujo cafe on Pinterest).

I’ve actually just started getting back into Pinterest lately and I love it.

I finally have a day off.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a cup of coffee and semi-silence.

I say semi-silence because my little guy is playing his video games in the living room, but he has the T.V. on low, so I can still think. ha.

I’m just going to share whatever is on my heart and in my mind today, and some funnies of course!

Let’s start with Friday and what it’s like being a working mom. 🤔

So-called sick and the NIPPLE PIERCINGS story:

You’re probably like – WHAT THE HELL?!

Wait for it!

So, on Friday – I ended up working for one of the lead staff who didn’t feel like going in because she was going through burnout, and I get that, so I went in for her. Plus, I could always use the extra money.

That morning, my little dude tried to stay home from school and say he didn’t feel well – because he heard that his good friend he plays online with – was able to stay home because HE didn’t feel well. I giggled and told him, “Absolutely NOT – because even if you stay home from school, you’re not playing video games when you say you don’t feel well”. He went to school.

I was sitting at work, and the school nurse called me. She said my little dude didn’t feel good, and she wanted to know if she could give him some medicine and send him back to class. I giggled and told her how he tried to stay home that morning and why, and I said he was fine. She had no doubt he was fine because he had no fever, and he wasn’t sneezing, coughing, etc. She tried to put his mind at ease by giving him some medicine and sending him back to class, telling him that if anything else was wrong – he could come back.

An hour later, my older son messages me and says that my daughter tried to call me, but I didn’t answer. She wanted him to get ahold of me – to let me know that she was caught with her cell phone and it was taken away.

I asked if he was serious and he said yes.

As I’m trying to work – I’m dealing with knowing that my little dude is going to go right back to the nurse and try to come home again, and now I had to deal with my daughter and this phone situation.

For those who don’t know – her high school is one of the schools that implemented these goofy Yondr pouches that students have to lock their cell phones in while at school, and they get them unlocked at the end of the day. If you don’t know – I’ve been against these things from the beginning of this new rule years ago, and I tried to tell the principal that my daughter is NOT putting her phone in the pouch, and she WILL be keeping it on her.

I’m all for my daughter following rules and listening to authority, but this is one rule I didn’t want to play by.

As a parent who already lost one child, my mama heart is so scared to not be able to get ahold of my kids – wherever they are – if they’re out of my sight.

We have a town siren that goes off for three reasons. A tornado / bad weather, when it’s noon, and calling for volunteer firefighters when something happens. So, whenever it goes off – my daughter will message me and say she’s fine and everything is fine if she’s at school. It makes me feel better, puts my mind at ease, and I don’t have to call the office for every little thing to make sure everything is good.

She’s had her phone in her sports bra for the last few years, and it’s worked out great.

I felt even better when I found out that other parents were making sure their students put their phones in their belt buckles, in their back pockets, in their boots, or wherever they needed to hide it. Some kids have used burner phones to put in the pouches and kept their real phones on them. So, I’m not the only parent who doesn’t agree with these Yondr pouches, and truthfully – if I were a principal – there wouldn’t be any Yondr pouches.

If something were to happen, I’d much rather have a bunch of worried and concerned parents in the parking lot – that remain calm and let the police do their jobs – because they’ve been able to reach their students by cell phones and know their child is okay – rather than a bunch of parents losing their minds pushing past police – and trying to find their kids.

I’ve tried to fight this policy, and it went nowhere.

The school has told me that students can call their parents from the office phone, but what if something happens or there’s a lockdown, and they can’t get to the office phone? I’ve argued that as well, and they had no real answers for me, but they insisted they were keeping the pouches as a new policy years ago.

Anyway, my daughter isn’t the only one who has had her phone on her for years. So, when I called the school on Friday, the office lady – (who I get along just fine with) told me she isn’t the only one who was caught. She giggled a bit and said there’s piles of phones in the office from students who were caught as well, and that if I wanted to come get her phone, I could do so.

One of the other lead staff at work was amazing at looking out for me and told me to go. I told her I’d be right back.

So, I drove to the school, went inside and as soon as I saw the principal, I smiled and joked with her. I asked how those Yondr pouches are working out for her – because obviously if that many students had their phones on them, they found ways around it, and they’re going to continue to find ways around it. I asked if she was still going to continue to use them, and she said she thinks they’re working on great and plans to continue to use them. She also said it’s her job to continue to search students.

She smiled and told me that my daughter tried telling her over and over again that she has NIPPLE PIERCINGS, and that’s why the wand went off when they wanded her. No, my daughter does NOT and will NEVER have NP’s, but I giggled when the principal told me this. My daughter joked a few times that she’d say that if she ever got wanded, but I didn’t know she’d actually say it, and she did.

When I talked to my daughter, she said she would have stuck to that story, but she felt bad because the principal tilted her head a bit, and told my daughter, “Lani, please make job easier”. So, my daughter – (who has always been taught to be honest and tell the truth) – took out her phone and handed it to the principal. The principal thanked her for being honest finally and told her that her phone would be in the office.

I asked the principal why my daughter was even wanded, and I was told that they had a K-9 (drug and gun sniffing dog) come in that day – that went to all the classes for searches, and I know they do that randomly, so it’s common for them to do these things. She said any student who wasn’t able to take off their hoodie or didn’t want to – got wanded, and my daughter didn’t have a T-shirt under her hoodie, so she’s one of the ones who couldn’t and got wanded. The wand of course – beeped, and it wasn’t because of any piercings of course!

From what I hear, students are already coming up with new, creative ways to hide their phones, so do I think this is going to stop it? No. Do I think they’re just going to get better at hiding them? Yes.

Thankfully, the students that got caught with phones – aren’t in trouble, but I do think that the school is going to be more aware, do more searches, and keep on top of this from now on. Again, I know it’s wrong for going against the school policy all these years – but it has given me peace of mind that if something happens – I can easily contact my daughter because she has her phone, and she has felt better having her phone on her because there’s been times things are going on, parents get no calls, and my daughter has been able to message me.

Example:

The high school went into lockdown a few years back because there were four fights going on at once – that turned into a big group brawl on the first floor from what I heard.

Parents did get calls that day – that the school was on lockdown, and I was a nervous wreck. I tried calling my daughter over and over because I knew she had her phone, and she wasn’t answering. I didn’t even care if I got a ticket that day, but I was on my way home from the nearest city and stepped on the gas to get to the school. If a cop tried to stop me, he could write me a ticket at the school, but as a parent – my heart dropped and I was so worried.

Thankfully – BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER HAD HER CELL PHONE ON HER – she was able to message me and tell me, “Mom, I’m okay. I’m on the 2nd floor. They won’t let anyone down or anyone come up”. She was also able to text me when the lockdown lifted, and she was in her next class, so I was able to slow down, do the speed limit and I felt so much better.

Thus – the reason they should do away with these Yondr pouches.

Some parents love them and agree with it. I’m not one of those parents. HELL, I’ve seen teachers disagree with the policy. So, we all have our different opinions. Anyway, I just thought the Nipple piercing story she really did try to give – was hilarious.

I got her phone and went back to work. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, my phone rings and it’s the school nurse stating that my son is back in her office, and says he has a headache and wants to throw up. I shook my head and laid my head back on my headrest in the car – because being a working parent – is not for the weak, and parenting never stops – even when you’re at work. I told the nurse to let me talk to him, and I convinced him to go back to class, try to finish the day, and that it’s Friday, so if he doesn’t feel good – he has all weekend to rest.

He played video games all weekend with no issues and hasn’t complained once – about not feeling well. 🤣

****

Work and attachment:

You all know I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some criminals, drug and alcohol addicts.

I’ve talked about it before. You also know how much I love my job if you’ve followed my blog and have read it for so long.

Yes, there’s days that are wild and I don’t get to sit down and catch a break, and there’s some days that are a lot of fun. There are some days that are super boring and nothing happens at all, so I get to sit down, relax, and just kick back until it’s time to leave.

This weekend – was insane.

We have a little elderly woman that I’ll call “Daisy”. I absolutely love Daisy and she’s become like an aunt to me. I joked that I was just there recruiting my new family. She gives words of wisdom, and she’s hilarious when she wants to be, but she’s also a little firecracker and you’d never know that she could wreck so much havoc just by looking at her. Some people describe her as “dangerous”.

Still, she makes me laugh and drives me crazy all at the same time. 😁

I’ve grown to adore her, and to watch the cameras closely when she’s out and about because she WILL cause trouble. lol. It’s wild that I say those two things in the same sentence, but it’s true.

Unfortunately, she has been asked to leave the facility by the end of the month because she’s got so many write-ups, and she’s always in the middle of whatever is going on. It breaks my heart to know she won’t be there anymore after next week; I won’t see her, I won’t have to watch the cameras when she’s out and about, and my days at work may get a little calmer. I don’t know if I want that calm or if I’ve gotten used to the madness at work, but I’ll definitely miss her craziness.

On Friday, she was on a roll.

She was going off about anything and everything. She was going off on everyone. She was yelling. She was complaining. She was screaming about different things, and she promised she wasn’t screaming at me – but more so – screaming at everything going on – and venting TO me. She vented about lead staff. She vented about people who live there and are on her “shit list”. She vented about her write-ups, and all kinds of things, and I just let her. I knew she was angry. I knew she needed to let it all out.

She also told me she was going to “raise hell until she leaves”. I kind of made her smile when I so seriously told her, “Please don’t do that! Especially on the weekends when my son and I are here”. She promised me she wouldn’t raise hell on the weekends when we’re there, but Saturday – oh Lord! She raised hell and took it to the max while we were there – from the time we walked in, to the time we left – we were both busy chasing Daisy around and getting her to behave.

At one point, she was yelling at another tenant / resident, and I told her she promised she would be good on the weekends. She yelled, “I didn’t promise shit!”. I told her she really did. She said she doesn’t remember that.

Saturday, she was chasing people, looking for people to curse out that she doesn’t like, going off on people, and just doing some off the wall – wild stuff. My son dealt with her the first half of our shift and got her to go back to her room finally, and the 2nd half of the shift, I was already done with it. I grabbed my walkie and told my son, “I got this!”, and I headed upstairs to where she did NOT belong.

As soon as I got up there and she saw me, she yelled, “WHAT?”.

I looked at her, raised my head a bit and told her:

I told her she needed to go downstairs to her room before I pick her up and carry down the stairs. I tried joking with her, but that didn’t work.

She yelled back, “I’m going to push you down the stairs. What are you going to do about that?”.

I smiled and told her, “Please don’t!”. She kept screaming, so the entire 2nd floor could hear her, and yelling that she doesn’t “give a f****”. Eventually, she looked down at her feet and so calmly said, “Hey! My socks don’t match!”. I laughed and told her, “Neither do mine today!”. I told her I just grabbed two that were clean and threw them on because I hadn’t matched socks after laundry yet.

I told her if she came downstairs with me, I’d give her juice and snacks or whatever she wanted. She said she didn’t want any of that, but that she’d come downstairs with me. She asked if I wanted to race, and she blamed her mismatched socks for the reason she lost. 🤣

I thought all was okay, but then she started screaming on the first floor – about different things that pissed her off.

She kept telling me she wasn’t yelling at me, but she needed to let me know everything going on that lead staff doesn’t want to talk about or deal with. I told her I understood. I tried to sympathize with her, and she grabbed papers and a pen from the suggestion box – to write down whatever she wanted to say to lead staff. She told me she was going to “take this place down”. I made her laugh when she tried to start writing and the cap was still on. I told her, “Daisy, you have to take the pen cap off if you’re going to take this place down and write your little heart off!”.

Saturday, she drove us crazy and she was all over the place causing issues. So many incident reports were written on her, and she was furious with our director. So much, that she wanted us to call her in, so she could confront her. I told her I wasn’t doing that, and she could see the director when she came in this week.

Yesterday (Sunday):

She was better.

She stood in the hallway and talked to me for almost three hours.

We laughed so much, and she was fun yesterday. I was strict with her yesterday and told her that she at least has to behave until 3 PM – when I leave. She looked at the clock and so hilariously asked, “Just until 3?”. I told her, “Just until 3 at least!”. She said she guesses she can do that, and she did!

She actually behaved for me.

I had to laugh when she started getting a bit wild about 2:45, and I told her she better be good for the next shift. She told me, “Nuh – uh! You said until 3 PM, and I only have 15 minutes left!”. lmfao. She had me laughing so much yesterday. I’m not even joking when I tell you that at 3 PM on the dot – one of our other tenants / residents came down and told us that Daisy punched him in the head. He was laughing about it, and so were we – when he didn’t even want a report written up and just said, “I’m okay, but that little woman has a fierce punch!”. He didn’t say why she punched him, but he said she was mad about something.

Listen. At least she kept it bottled up until our shift ended like she promised.

Still – a part of me is sad that she has to leave. There’s one other that drives us insane, but he’s been asked to leave as well.

These things are never easy, and I know we get told not to get attached to our tenants / residents, but there’s a piece of us that starts to care for them on a personal level. There’s a part of us that starts to love them like family, and we do get attached. So, to think we may never see them again – it’s heartbreaking in a way.

At the same time – many of them have grown to love us, and a lot of them always tell my son and I – that we’re the best employees they’ve gotten in a long time. They know we care and we want the best for them.

It also broke my heart this weekend when I was telling one of the ladies who likes to sit and talk to us – that we may move this summer. She asked where and I told her we are trying to get closer to IL. but possibly Wisconsin. She looked so sad, and I told her we’d come back to visit often. She killed me when she told me, “That’s what everyone tells us, but once they leave – they never come back and visit us”. They’ve seen so many staff members come and go, but when they get close to staff – it breaks their hearts even more when staff leaves and lies to them about coming back to visit.

They already have trust issues from their pasts, so to have staff that leave – lie and say they’ll come visit and don’t – I don’t want to be a part of that. I really do want to come back and vacation here in Minnesota from time to time and visit them. I want them to trust me and see that I will come see them and check in here and there.

I also plan to give some of them my personal number, so they can call and check in, and I can see how they’re doing, and so some of them can call me and talk if they need someone to listen. I’ve seen them at their bests, and I’ve seen them at their worsts, and they always push through whatever they go through. ❤️

We also know that at this job, we have to stay professional and just numb ourselves to those who leave and can’t come back, or those we lose for other reasons. When I first started this job, I got super close to this one woman I’ll call “Shannon”. She and I used to always joke around, and I’d tell her boyfriend not to come downstairs without my homegirl. She passed away a few weeks after I met her.

And – just like nurses and doctors who lose patients – we staff at this job – have to numb our feelings and go on with our work.

So, I continue to love this job and do what I can for people. I continue to show up and love everyone there. I continue to listen. To try to help. To be there for our residents, and to try to make them laugh when I can.

I had one of our younger co-workers yesterday – tell my son and I that she HATES when we’re there because everyone is so “chatty”.

I took it personal because we’re a lot of fun. What do you mean you HATE when we’re there? She meant that, too!

My son told me he feels like it’s jealousy because not everyone comes and talks to her – like they talk to us.

Not everyone comes and gifts her things – like they gift us things they’ve made.

Not everyone calls or comes to the office to say goodbye to her – like they do to us when our shifts end.

He told me not to take it personal, but her little comments sometimes – are wild.

I try not to say anything back to her because I know she’s only 18. I’m not petty, and as someone way older than her – I try to keep my calm with her comments and laugh it off. I did say something like, “Why? We’re a lot of fun when we’re here! Many love us for it, and some hate us for it!”. When I said that “some hate us for it” comment, it was directed at her. Still, I tried to bite my tongue further and not take it too far.

She’s young and many of her comments in the past have been unnecessary, but still – I always try to remember I’m way older, and it’s not worth any comments I can make back. I don’t need to be petty, and I try to always remain funny, professional, and kind.

So, we go to work. Love everyone there. Be nice to those with negative comments – like her and just enjoy our days as much as we can.

*****

Funny shoe story:

I had to run to Walmart for a few things on Friday after I got the kids from school.

Upon walking to the back to get bunny food for Lani’s bunny – I passed the women’s shoe isle, and saw these:

I’m sorry, but these are totally cute!

Both of my kids – my little dude and my daughter – at the same time – both told me “NO!”.

My son called them ugly and my daughter told me she’s doing me a favor by taking them out of the cart and not letting me walk out of the store with them. It made me laugh, but I told her I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, I love them, and I’m taking them.

They continued to tell me NO.

I played a little game of Tug of War with my daughter, and she laughed when I told her to UNHAND my shoes!

Did I get them? I sure did!!!!!!

It’s Winter. I’m not trying to go buy anything fancy right now, and I really do love these shoes. 😁 They’re also comfortable.

My kids teased me that these are “old people shoes”, and my co-worker laughed when I told her the story, and she asked if she was old because she actually likes them as well. Yep. I told her we’re both old and we need to just admit it.

Loves.

I’d love to write more and I’m sure I have a ton of other things to write, but I can’t concentrate because my little dude has just decided to sit next to me and make tons of noise until I go watch a movie with him. So, I’m going to end it here, and hopefully – I’ll be back tonight to catch up on what all of you have going on.

I also truly do promise to answer emails that some of you have sent me. I swear I will tonight.

XOXO.

❤️Shel❤️

Back in 1982 and the Pros and cons of work recently.

Back in 1982 and the Pros and cons of work recently.

Shel R.14 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Share what you know about the year you were born.
View all responses

I haven’t done one of these WP prompts for a while, so here we go.

I will honestly say I don’t know much about the year I was born – except that all of my family was all still alive, healthy and so close. That has since changed, many of have passed, and family no longer gets together like they used to.

So, I had to look up some fun facts, wild history events, etc. that happened in 1982 – (the year I was born), and found these interesting facts.

I had no idea Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne were born in the same year, but that was interesting to learn.

I listen to Nicki here and there, but I’m a huge fan of Lil Wayne and his songs. (Especially his song MIRROR).

Those popular songs from 1982 – are all still amazing today. Physical, Survivor, I love Rock ‘N Roll – they all still play on the radio, and my grandma Ann LOVED Katherine Hepburn, so it was nice reading all of this.

Reading what things costs back when I was born – had me shocked. Everything was so cheap.

I still owe $10,000 on my car, so to see that a car back then – fully cost $9,903 – makes me wonder what the hell happened that prices of new cars these days are $30,000 + if you want a BRAND new one in most places.

Mine was $30,000 – and I realize now that I could have gotten something bigger and a better, but I still love my car. It’s crazy expensive for no reason though. To think that I would have had it paid off by now if it were 1982 – blows my mind.

A house was $83,000 + ….and now, good houses are anywhere from $279,000 and up.

I’m just throwing average numbers out there, but houses are NOT cheap anymore.

Groceries have gone up like crazy since then.

Gas is up.

It’s sad to see how much times have changed. Even the music now – compared to 1982 – is sad.

I do giggle when I see that M*A*S*H. was one of the most popular T.V shows back then, because my mother hated that show, so whenever she watched her programs and that came on, we knew it was time to turn the T.V. off and do something else. My grandma watched that show and it was boring. However, my grandma LOVED the show DALLAS as well.

Michael Jackson released (Thriller), and E.T. became a popular movie.

I wanted to know more about what happened in 1982 because now I was curious, and I found this video.

That’s all I have.

There’s some history for you.

I could sit here and do more research, but I have to eventually get ready to take the kids to school and get to work. 😊

Today is the last day of school for the kids, and then Winter break starts.

I can’t believe we’re two days away from Christmas – which reminds me to order everything for Christmas dinner today.

I’m still shopping for gifts from “Santa” for the little guy, and stocking stuffers for the kids, and I’ll finally be finished. Of course, you know darn good and well that I plan to get myself a bottle of wine, and enjoy the last gift wrapped tomorrow night. I’m off work tomorrow and Christmas day, thankfully!

Yesterday, we took gifts to Elijah’s teachers, his Kindergarten teacher from many years ago, and his 2nd grade teacher. I mentioned that his 1st grade teacher moved out of state, but his past teachers loved his gifts, and they were so happy. Elijah was so happy to give gifts. He’s like me. He enjoys seeing people happy. ❤️

My car goes in for service today, and I’m praying it’s just a simple fix.

I think that’s all the life updates I have.

🙄

At work – we lost a woman I became close to. She was an alcoholic, and she knew her liver was failing, but she continued to drink. She was one of the tenants at the facility I work in.

I remember when I first met her. I’ll call her “Shannon”.

She was feisty. She was playful and fun, and she put her fists up acting like she was ready to fight.

We laughed about, and ever since that day a few months ago – I always called her “my homegirl”, or “my girl”. I’d tell her boyfriend – (who also lives in the facility) – not to come downstairs without my girl. So, he’d go back and get her. We used to make each other laugh and she was such a sweet firecracker. She didn’t take no shit.

We do portions at work – for some of the tenants – where we give small bits of alcohol, so they don’t deal with the withdrawals, and there was one time I had to deny her the portion she was supposed to get because when I breathalyzed her, she was over her limit. She made me giggle when she told me, “I don’t care! I got Vodka in my room”, and she strolled away, so me denying her – didn’t matter, but I knew at least – I was doing my job.

She was spunky, usually smiling or joking around, and happy.

I never expected that a few weeks ago, I’d be taking her to the hospital because she wasn’t doing well, and we’d have our very last conversation.

On the way to the hospital, we were talking and she said something about me having an accent.

I didn’t hear her, so I asked, “I have an accent?”. I knew she said something about one, but I didn’t know what. She yelled and replied with, “YOU DO! I SAID YOU DO HAVE AN ACCENT!”. And then – she apologized for yelling it and said she’s just in a lot of pain.

She ended up being released from the hospital and coming back to the facility about 2 weeks ago and she was so angry when she said her boyfriend offered her a drink. She denied it, because she didn’t want to die. She knew it was getting serious, and the next day after her release – she was right back in the hospital for the very last time.

Her boyfriend has been walking the halls in the facility, sitting at the front by the office, or coming down just to occupy his time, get his mind of her, and kept asking if she was going to be okay. Sunday, he came up to me and asked, “She’ll get better, right?”. I knew what I SHOULD have said, but my heart broke for him and I told him, “I’m not sure. All I can tell you is that she probably won’t be back here”. He said she has a lot of dreamcatchers, and he’d like his favorite one out of her room if that’s the case, so he could remember her. I asked our lead staff if we can do that for him, and I was given permission.

My son works with me on the weekends, so he went and made sure that on Sunday, her boyfriend was able to take his favorite dreamcatcher. I also asked our nurse if she could make him a copy of Shannon’s picture from her medication box, and the nurse was all for it. 💕🥺

Last night, one of my co-workers called me and said she’s helping our boss make phone calls.

I thought I was in trouble for something, but she told me she just wanted to let me know that “Shannon passed”.

I asked if her boyfriend knew yet, and she said after phone calls, she’ll be on her way to let him know.

We’ve been dragging it out for so long and not wanting to tell him the full extent of what we knew about her, and we tried to just ease his mind and tell him very little – but yesterday – we had to fully tell him like it is, and our nurse talked to him, told him the truth, and let him go to the hospital to say his goodbyes.

This shit is never easy, especially when you work in a facility or setting where you get to know everyone, get close to people, learn their stories, know they’ve had hard lives, and then see them go through things like this – or pass.

Last night when I found out, I sat in my bedroom and shed a few tears, and then whispered, “Fly high my girl!”.

I laugh – imagining her meeting God the same way she was the day I first met her – with her fists up, pretending to want to fight and saying, “Let’s go!”. lol. Just a little humor in this dark world – where we’ll all have our day eventually.

I pray for her family. I pray for her boyfriend who has been so lost without her. I pray for my co-workers who knew her much longer than I have, and for all those who loved her.

*****

Work is so rewarding, and I love my job, but it can also be stressful and sad at times.

Saturday, my son told me one of our other tenants was on the phone and she was in tears.

I found out one of her family members passed.

As she made arrangements to go with family for a few days, she sat and waited for hours for them to come and get her and her anxiety was through the roof. When she was leaving, I opened my arms to give her a big hug. She laughed when she said she smelled like shit because she hasn’t showered yet. I told her in a funny way, “I don’t give a damn! Come give me a hug Stinky butt!”. We hugged so tight and I asked her to please take care of herself and be good while she’s gone.

I know it’s so easy for these amazing men and women to relapse when times are tough like this, or to do something stupid they may regret because they’re not fully thinking, and I hate the times I have to watch them go through things that life throws at them – when they’re already dealing with the choices they’ve made and the positions they’re in now. 💔

On the plus side – when I can make them smile, laugh, or feel like someone cares – that makes me feel good, and I love doing what I can for them.

One of the women there told me that her cat was out of food, and I know she didn’t want to tell anyone or burden anyone with it, so she kept coming to the office to get some of our Chicken packs. I went and got her cat some treats and food, and we both laughed so much when she said treats are like a drug to that cat and I asked if this means I’m her cats “drug dealer now”.

Another woman I’ve gotten close to – keeps asking for this one Maroon Puma hoodie I have because she loves it so much. I joke with her and tell her she’s not getting my hoodie, and I love it, too! Yesterday at work, I had a piece of paper that fell into my sleeve, so I took my arm out of the sleeve to shake it out and she was standing by me. She got happy and thought I was going to take the hoodie off and give it to her. 🤣 This is the second time I’ve worn it there and she tried to get it.

I love the hoodie, but today – when I go in – I am going to hand it over to her.

It’s the little things, and if I can put a smile on their faces, I’ll do what I can. If it makes their day a little brighter, I’m all for it.

I’m going to miss that hoodie! 😶 Still, her happiness will be worth it.

This is why I say Kindness is so important.

I’d love to sit here and write more, but it’s time to make sure the kids are ready for school and for me to get ready for work.

Pray that my car issues is a simple fix – as my son will be dropping me off at work and taking my car in, and that Christmas hurries up because I’m almost ready to get it over with. ha.

Love ya!

💕Shel💕

Christmas, some late-night chatter, and holiday Kindness.

Christmas, some late-night chatter, and holiday Kindness.

Shel R.4 Comments

   

   As we all know …. There’s only a few days left until Christmas.

I just started shopping for my son’s teacher and getting her gift bag together, but also – gift bags for his 2nd grade teacher (who we miss dearly since he left 2nd grade) and his Kindergarten teacher (because she was awesome as well). 😚 His 1st grade teacher moved to another state this year.

I keep in touch with his 2nd grade teacher, and she actually made me smile one day when I stopped into her classroom to say hi at the beginning of his 3rd grade year, and she told me she follows me on Tiktok. 😁 She said I make her day whenever I post, and it made me happy knowing I can do that for anyone who follows me on socials.

I just have fun with it, and post random videos.

Anyway, I’ll be getting the teachers gifts together today and then I’ll start to finish up Elijah’s Christmas goody bags for his class. We do it every year, so he can bring in some fun stuff to hand to each kid with cupcakes and juice, etc. Within the next few days, I’ll also be preparing gifts for my boss, and a few people at work, and of course – finishing up gifts from Santa – to my little dude. ❤️

When I tell you that I can’t wait to sit on the couch at midnight – when the house is silent, the kids are in bed on Christmas eve, all is finished and I can enjoy a glass of wine in peace – I MEAN THAT!!!! lol.

This year has kicked my ass and I’m so glad 2025 is almost over. When I ring in 2026 with my kids this year – I’ll shed a few tears, and smile because I got through it with my sanity, faith and many prayers.

I pray 2026 is good to me and my kids and that we have many blessings next year, because life has been a bully the last few years. Ha. I’m ready for changes, and new beginnings.

If you want to laugh… I’ve been looking for houses in suburban Illinois near my aunt and uncle (who we are close to), and I found one I absolutely love!!!

My bank does mortgage loans, and has their own home inspection agents, Real estate agents, and so on – so I applied for a mortgage loan a few days ago, and my bank called me yesterday to talk about it.

When the guy said, “Thank you for being such a great customer of ours since 2015”, I was so confused. That’s a long damn time! I’ve been saying I’ve been with my bank for 6 years, but I didn’t even realize it’s been 10! We’ll – hot damn……

 

No really! I feel old.

🤗

So, I’m approved for the mortgage loan, right?

No! No, that’s not how it works and it’s not that easy, but I wish!

Technically, they like to see that you have a stable job / income in the state you plan to move to, or at least an offer of a job in that state you plan to buy a home in – saying when you’re starting, how much you’ll make, etc. They also like to see that it’s a salary position and they can work with that – as I was told.

If I wanted to buy a house here in Minnesota, it would probably be easier – since I have that income, and I’m in the state I want to buy in, but no. I don’t want to buy here.

I work in Minnesota, so it’s hard for them to get me approved for a mortgage on this house I fell in love with in Illinois – if I’m not working in Illinois and don’t have a job offer out there, yet. I figured as much and I was expecting that, but part of me really wanted to have a house already, so that when we leave where we are now – we’re moving into our own place and not renting.

Can that still happen?  Yes!  However, I won’t be applying for jobs in Illinois or close to it – for a few months – while I wait for my daughter’s graduation to get closer. Do I expect the home buying process to be easy? Hell no! “Easy” is not how my life goes! 🤣 I’m sure the house I fell in love with – will be sold by then, but it was a nice feeling – finally finding something I truly wanted!

Hey! At least I know when I’m back in Illinois, close to it or at least have a job offer out there next year, my bank is ready to help me get a house! Maybe things won’t go as smoothly as I’d like them to, but – I trust God and if it’s meant to be, it will happen – eventually.

Listen. I’ve never wanted to own a house because I didn’t want the headaches that come with it, but after renting where I am now for almost 6 years and the stuff I’ve dealt with, I’m so ready to never have to deal with a landlord again.

So, wish me luck and pray for me as I work my ass off to get through Christmas and finish shopping, fill the kids’ stockings, and maybe fill my own with some fun things I like – and also – as I try to get through the rest of 2025 without screaming in the middle of a cornfield somewhere. (Although – that may make the end of 2025 a little better!). 🧐

It’s 2 AM and I’m awake.

I went to bed super early yesterday because it was snowing, the roads were icy, and I didn’t feel like driving anywhere. My son’s – made me smile when they used the projector I gave them as an early Christmas gift – to play video games together all day – on the wall – where they set it up, and my daughter did laundry and watched movies because both of my kids had a snow day (a day off school) yesterday.

………. Which is why I was in bed early, and why I’m up at 2 AM.

I’ll eventually go back to sleep, but until I do – here I am – entertaining you! (Are you up right now with me?).

In other news, right after the holidays are over – I’ll be catching up on different things, working on getting my car fixed and paying it off to trade it in, and probably packing up the rest of our things we don’t use or need right now – to be ready to move.

Life is about to go really fast for us, and I’m hoping our new adventures all work out and treat us kindly.

My daughter will be looking at colleges soon and getting into an EMS program. She’ll be working on getting her permit (She was so close but failed a few times) and got discouraged…. but life goes on, we try things again and never give up.

I’ve thought about home-schooling my little dude and that’s something I’m looking into next year (as one of my good friends highly encouraged it) because she used to home school her kids for years and loved it. She made me laugh because she just recently sent her kids to public school after being against it for so long and she’s the one who finally got me into to thinking about home-schooling. I asked her why she put her kids in school and she made me laugh when she said she never gets time alone to herself, and her kids need to socialize and make actual friends besides the ones on the local baseball team.

There’s a lot of changes happening next year, a lot of decisions will be made – from colleges for the daughter, to possibly trying home-schooling the little dude and getting him on a baseball team (as he wants to do so badly), maybe buying a house, a career change as I finally try to get into my dream job – and upgrading the vehicle.

We all know plans don’t work out the way we want them to or plan for them to, and that God is in control, so while all of the planning is great and I have an idea of how I want 2026 to go, God may have other plans and I just have to continue to keep my sanity, faith and prayers going.

I was watching “The War room” on Netflix yesterday and the way Ms. Clara yelled:

I think I’ll be alright in 2026 – as the last few years have been hell.

I hope God fights for me in every area of my life next year.

I trust God to take us into 2026 with all the blessings we deserve, and I just have to trust that if I go him in prayer, he’ll fight for me and he’ll make next year a lot better than the last few. I’m manifesting it!

Baby, we should all have a “WAR ROOM”, and go to God with all our battles, worries, problems, etc. and then get out of the way to let him handle everything.

It’s a cute movie by the way.

May I also say that I think we all need a “Ms. Clara” in our lives?!!!!

Enough about 2026 though – I hope and pray that as Christmas and New Year’s rolls around; you find yourself in good health, happy, ready to make needed changes, make better decisions, and ready to celebrate all the blessings you have in your life.

I hope you get to spend it with family, friends, loved ones – and that you all have a safe and great holiday season. ❤️

Later, I’ll be sitting on the floor going through all the gifts I brought the kids and making sure they each have an equal amount. Usually – I count as I wrap and place them under the tree, but I didn’t do that this year.

I’ll also be shopping for Christmas dinner, and since we didn’t do a Turkey for Thanksgiving because the kids wanted Chicken tacos – we’re doing a Turkey for Christmas. I plan to try my hand at a sweet potato casserole, and my mom used to make this delicious cake / chocolate pudding / cool whip / nuts dessert that my kids absolutely loved and miss, so I plan to try to make it like she did.

I truly wish I knew how to make my grandma (Yia-Yia’s) lumpy chocolate pudding, but I used to ask her for the recipe, and she used to joke that she was taking it with her to the grave. I miss that!!! She DID take it with her to the grave, and I never found out how she made it so good with lumps of Chocolate in it. She made it for me on many holidays when I’d ask her for it.

I miss my mom’s veggie pizza, and I may try to make that as well.

I miss the way holidays used to be when everyone was alive, happy, and always got together for these special occasions. 🥺

Anyway – as I finish up shopping, prepare to shop for Christmas dinner and dessert, put gifts together and wrap, and finally get to celebrate with a glass of wine on Christmas Eve – I pray all of you have a blessed one, and that if life is kicking your ass like it is mine – that you take everything to God in prayer, move out of the way and let him handle it for you.

I hope he does.

I know a lot of people are struggling right now, but if you have your health, a few close people, and you’re still alive – be grateful!

Let me also finish this by saying that if you’re in a position to help those who are struggling or dealing with life right now and you know they’re having a rough time, PLEASE offer to help where and when you can.

Some single parents are stretching their budgets and letting some bills go to make Christmas magical for their kids. Some people are in hospitals and won’t be home for Christmas, or overseas. Some people are going through divorces, losing everything they have, or can’t go home to be with family – so just be kind to everyone because you never know what someone is dealing with, or what they had to go through to make it through the holiday season this year.

Recently, I was talking to a good friend of mine and she mentioned she is always helping others, but nobody helps her. She said she has such a big heart and a weak spot for those who need anything, and when she needs something, nobody jumps in to help or offers their assistance. I told her I know the feeling, because I’ve helped so many and I could be at my lowest and those who I know could have helped – watched me struggle instead.

We talked about Karma and how we’re waiting for our good Karma to come back around to us that we’ve dished out for others, and I told her, “Maybe Karma isn’t here on earth for us! Maybe our good Karma is when we pass, and God opens the gates of heaven for us, no questions asked because he knows what we’ve done for others here on earth, and that will be our good Karma. Making it into heaven, and God not even blinking an eye when he ushers us in”.

We giggled about it, but it’s the truth.

So, never stop being a good person – even if nobody is around to help you when you need it.

HELP SOMEONE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON and if you see them struggling – don’t wait for them to ask. Just be a good person and do something nice for them!

For those grieving this holiday season – I know the feeling, and I’m sending you such big hugs, and lots of love, but can you imagine the huge celebration and laughter that heaven has – with all of our loved ones up there?! They’re not missing earth, and for that – I smile. 💕 You should, too!

Let me get out of here and go back to bed. I have to be up early to get the kids to school, and go get the teacher’s gifts ready, as I rush to finish gifts from Santa as I said, plan dinner – and just making the last weeks of 2025 – bearable.

Again, do something kind for others this holiday season and be nice – even if it’s just paying for someone’s meal, buying them a coffee if you’re in front of them in line at the local Starbucks, or visiting a local shelter and donating some food, gifts, etc.

I love ya!

❤️Shel❤️

Deadlines met, more money spent, Senior assassin plans, and work.

Deadlines met, more money spent, Senior assassin plans, and work.

Shel R.2 Comments

You have to have humor in life, right?!

Good morning and let me make you laugh a bit.

I dropped off my little guy at school this morning and as I was driving around the block to drop my daughter off at the high school, she said her friend wanted a ride. I swung around to get her friend and parked in the high school parking lot.

Me: I am absolutely down to look at LIFE 360 and do a drive-by or five on the days that I don’t work.

My daughter started naming her friends, and says, “We can all jump out of the car, do our thing, and jump back in. You’re the get-away driver!”. We laughed about it, and we laughed even more when my daughter’s friend says, “I feel like I’m listening to something I shouldn’t be involved in. I’m out of here!”. Her friend was laughing as she got out of the car, knowing what I was talking about.

We were talking about SENIOR ASSASSIN!

The class of 2026 has been planning it the last few days, taking votes on if they want to do water or gel pellet guns, and my daughter is so excited to be a part of this. 🤣 This is a game played in many states all over the world – where Seniors go around shooting their fellow Senior classmates with either water or gel pellet guns – in order to “assassinate” or eliminate each other.

There are only two rules.

They can’t get each other on school grounds, or – at one of their places of employment.

Anywhere else – is fair game.

They are currently voting on if they should all download LIFE 360, add each other to it, and have fun knowing where certain classmates are – to go get them.

When my daughter went on her Senior class trip a few months ago, she brought herself a very small water gun to have fun with, and I looked at her funny when she said she’s going to use that if they decide on water guns – for Senior assassin. I told her she better let me take her to the store and buy her a couple of huge SUPER SOAKERS! We both laughed and I told her, “Go big or go home!”. 😁

In all seriousness, my daughter hates social situations, and she doesn’t like to be around a lot of people because of her anxiety, so I am so happy she’s excited about this, and plans to participate. I was totally joking about the “getaway driver” thing – (unless other parents are participating as well), and then I’m totally down for it. ha. She’s been talking about it for days now, as all of the Seniors try to figure out what they want to use, when they plan to start it, and how it’s going to go.

We also just turned in all of her Yearbook deadline stuff.

The photo of her when she was little:

This will be in the Yearbook I believe, but also on the screen at graduation as they show the “then and now” photos of the class of 2026.

We turned in her Senior photo she picked for the Yearbook – after taking tons of photos the past few weeks. She and I both loved this one:

She turned in her Senior wills, which says what she’ll leave behind and to whom.

She said she was going to leave her Sassiness to her best friend, Riley – and her Silliness to her good friend, Logan.

She turned in her 10-year prophecy, which is where she sees herself in 10 years, and she said in 10 years, she’ll be saving lives as a Paramedic, living in California – hopefully with a few dogs. 🥰

She also had to turn in a Senior quote that goes under her Senior photo in the yearbook, and as we sat at the kitchen table searching for the perfect quotes or one that she liked, I cried like a baby.

I’m not ready for this! 🥺🤣

We went through many quotes, and each one just made me cry more.

Hers is, “We leave behind a trail of laughter, love, and a little bit of craziness”, and then she added, “Thank you for all the laughs“.

It was cute. It was simple. It works!

With everything turned in and deadlines met finally – I THOUGHT I was finished, but parents of Seniors know – that we are NEVER finished when we think we are. Yearbooks have to be paid for, and class rings have to be picked out and purchased.

Graduation outfits have to be shopped for – be it a tux for the Senior boys, or for us girl parents – dresses.

More money is involved, and it’s never ending – all the way up until graduation day, when we can finally sit back – relax and watch all of our hard work – pay off – as our Seniors walk the final walk – and get their diplomas. ❤️

AND THEN – IT’S MORE MONEY and it doesn’t end there because most of them will go on to college and need all kinds of new things. lol. Are we ready Senior parents?!!!!!!!

So, we’re almost done with Senior year, and all the madness and fun that comes along with it, and I’ve started getting emails for colleges, scholarships, grants, different financial stuff for her when she does go to college. She’s been getting different college packages in the mail as well – with colleges wanting her to come check out their schools.

She has decided on the University of Michigan, but I told her not to limit her choices to just one, and to check out multiple colleges before making any decisions, depending on if she still wants to do Paramedic or not – next year.

*****

My little guy just also had his Christmas concert, and it was only 20 minutes long.

I was surprised because in the recent years, it’s been longer, but it was still cute and fun.

He was one of the dancers, and he danced with a little girl. I wish I could upload videos here, but I would have to upload them to YouTube and grab them from there – and that’s a whole headache. He did a great job, though!

It broke my heart a little because it was his very last Christmas concert at this school, and I believe if all goes well – we’re moving next year, so it’s bitter-sweet to see my daughter almost ready to graduate from this school, and my son do his last concert here.

This school has been wonderful, and it’s sad to leave it, but we’re on to new adventures next year.

*****

As for me, I’ve just been working and enjoying my down time when I can.

I love my job!

Despite working in a facility that houses some of the roughest people and helping them get through some of their toughest times, I enjoy it and anything I can do to put a smile on their faces, or make them feel like someone cares – I’ll do it.

The amazing and popular rapper (Eminem) has a song called “Houdini”, and in the middle of it, he says, “F*** my own kids! They’re brats!”. His daughters are grown now – (one his own and the other two being adopted by him when they were little), and I thought it was the cutest thing when the video shows them on the phone / Facetime – acting shocked when he says that. It was pretty funny.

After that song came out, the internet and TikTok went crazy with his daughter, Hailey Jade – and others doing the sound that says, “I’m like, what’d he say F*** me for?”. It came from 50 cent from what I heard, but everyone used it as a joke to the Houdini song.

So, at work last week – I walked in super early and one of the older guys who live in the facility (Donny) I’ll call him – wanted something he usually gets at 8 AM – earlier. Sometimes, if I’m there early, I don’t see a big deal in giving it to him early because he’s a good guy and he behaves well. Sometimes – if one of our picky lead staff members are there, I just can’t do it. So, on this one day – he was down there, and he was yelling about how he’s tired of being treated like he’s a kid, and he was angry that one lead staff wouldn’t give him what he wanted, so he threw a fit.

He yelled, “F*** ALL OF YOU!”. I was working. My son was working. The one lead staff we try to avoid – was working. Later on, she walked away, and I called him downstairs to get what he was looking for and told him that he knows I always give him what he asks for, as long as I’m there and I can do it. I told him he didn’t need to yell at me when he knows I do what I can for him, and he apologized, so – I made him laugh when I said, “I’m like, what’d he say F*** me for?” – in the same tone TikTok uses for that sound.

We both laughed as he walked away.

We have another guy I’ll call “Bobby”. Bobby can be tough to deal with if he’s not sober, and sometimes he’ll listen, sometimes – he’s just ready to throw insults, punches, whatever he can. When he’s sober, he’s a decent guy to talk to.

At work a few weeks ago, my boss asked me to hand out Christmas wish lists for our tenants to fill out – for things they want for Christmas. Everyone turned theirs in over the last few weeks – except Bobby, so I planned to chase him down a few days ago – to see if he could turn his in. I didn’t have to though, as he came to the front desk and handed me his.

I opened it and it said he didn’t want anything for himself. Just a 1/2 dozen roses for his lady, Mary.

I thought that was the cutest, sweetest thing – but then again, there’s time where one of us staff members have to go break up arguments between him and Mary, and they have this weird, funny Love / hate relationship. Still, they both make me smile when they’re together and they both pick on each other and have their little arguments.

I don’t have favorite tenants, but one of my funniest ones – is a guy I’ll call Tony. He’s hilarious. He’s full of energy and I think I talked about him before. The one who made me my flower vase when I first started at this facility. I forgot what I called him back then, but for this – I’m calling him Tony.

I watch the cameras sometimes, and I’ll see him on one – and then next thing I know – he’s 10 cameras over, and I’m wondering how he got to the other side of the building so fast.

The other day, he had me laughing – as I watched him do laundry for FIVE entire hours. FIVE – because he was taking his sweet time folding his clothes so carefully, hanging them, cleaning the washers and dryers, and doing other things in the laundry room. Trying to fix the sink, picking things up from the floor, cleaning the floor, and things he didn’t go in there to do.

Not to mention that he left his breakfast on the water fountain, and someone else started eating off of his plate, so I had to bring it into the office to hold it for him, while Mr. “Take other people’s food” – walked around looking for where the plate went – that he was stealing off of, and I watched that on the cameras as I giggled to myself.

I love these people.

I’ve grown to know all of them. They’ve grown to know and trust me, and also my son when he’s there on the weekends, and I love working in this facility. Every day brings new laughter, new adventures here, and a lot of times when I’m looking for ways to make their life easier, their days brighter, and joke with them to give them laughter.

They’ve been through a lot!

In a world where society and the town judge them and knows all of the negative things about the people who live in this facility, I like to find the good in all of them, see the positivity they hold, and get to know them on a personal level. My job isn’t just for a paycheck. It’s to show these people that in a world full of hate and judgement, I’m not one of those people who do that. I care.

I will say that I pissed off one of the tenants yesterday and I can cross that off my “to-do” list. lol.

Just kidding. I don’t have a to-do list that states, “Piss of a tenant”, but I thought it was a funny thought.

She was angry that she felt like someone stole her laundry, but upon checking the cameras, I didn’t see anything and asked if she is sure she didn’t grab her laundry on another day and forget. I can honestly say that I was NOT her favorite staff member – as she screamed at me the 4th time she came and told me about her clothes missing, and that someone in the building stole them.

After she screamed at me and walked away, I knew I just had to let it roll off my shoulders, and that it was nothing personal. I knew that I wasn’t the first staff member she had went off on, and I won’t be the last. She’s one of our very much louder tenants, and when I’m at work, I try to be as polite with her as possible, get her whatever she needs, and call it a day.

I’ve learned all of their personalities, their flaws, their likes and dislikes, the ones you can joke with and the ones we kind of just have to say, “What do you need?” – take care of and keep it moving with.

On the plus side, I just found out that one of our other tenants that I’ll call Bryce – knows how to play songs on the Harmonica. That was pretty cool, and while he was a little tipsy yesterday, he knew I had this big project I was working on for my boss, and he stood by the front desk, played songs on the Harmonica, and it was actually nice.

I enjoyed listening to him as I did this project, and it was soothing.

Everyone I deal with there on a daily basis – I have grown to love, care about, and respect because they’re still standing. They still keep going, and they try their best to get through another day – no matter what cards in life they’ve been dealt. ❤️

*****

In other news – my car is an a-hole, and I’ve been trying to see if I can trade it in for a family SUV.

There’s something going on with my throttle, or sensors – whatever I’ve read on it, and I’ll be taking it to the shop next week to see what’s going on. I joked that my car is going to throw me into a brick wall – because it keeps doing this thing where it feels like it wants to accelerate by itself when my foot isn’t even on the gas, and sometimes – it feels like it wants to give up.

I did call a dealer this morning because I used to have a Ford Explorer and I absolutely LOVED IT, so I did tell the guy if one comes in – let me know. He gave me his cell phone number and told me that when I have a down payment ready, to come on in and he’ll take care of me. We ran some numbers, and he asked if I was looking for a Tahoe, Escalade, etc. I did tell him I don’t want anything huge, but I do need something bigger than what I have now, and I am looking to trade in my a-hole car. 😁

Christmas is almost here. I still have to buy gifts from Santa to the little dude, and hopefully early next year, I can trade this car in for something else. Until then – it’s going to keep being an a-hole, and I’m going to keep buying scratch-off tickets and hope I win big on one of them.

haha. Joking.

Love ya!

❤️Shel❤️