Tag: mental-health

When work comes home with you – you have to unleash and release.

When work comes home with you – you have to unleash and release.

Shel R.1 Comment

Today has been one hell of a day.

Usually, Sundays are relaxing at work. Sundays are quiet. Sundays are chill.

Sundays are my favorite day at work because nothing ever happens on a Sundays.

My son works with me on the weekends, so we were a little surprised at all the stuff that went on today, especially with one of the tenants in our facility – that we’ll call “Nick”.

I’m not going to sit here and get into the whole thing because we dealt with Nick for HOURS – at different times today – and once we thought all was quiet again – Nick would start things up again. My son and I were the only staff working today, and with over 60 tenants in the building – it can become a lot. It can get stressful, overwhelming and crazy, especially if there’s so much going on at one time – like today.

I will say that Nick was having issues with his girlfriend and another guy that his girlfriend may – or may not – be seeing behind his back, so Nick decided to down a huge bottle of Vodka and start acting out – right in the facility we work in. Right in the lobby.

Thankfully – nobody else was in the lobby, because when Nick came to us and said he needed to talk and we knew he was very much angry and drunk – we were able to deal with him in private and with nobody else watching what was going on, or being nosy.

When Nick said he needed to talk, I asked if he wanted to talk to my son (man to man), or me. He said he didn’t care. My son went to the lobby and talked with Nick for a bit, and a few moments later – I heard something hit the window and saw a guy who looked like my son – standing on the other side of the building in the lobby – and his arm was up like he just threw something.

I thought he threw a punch.

I thought Nick attacked my son and my son was fighting back.

I jumped up and ran to the lobby – only to thankfully find out Nick had just thrown a can of pop that busted all over, and my son was standing behind him trying to calm him down.

I told my son to take over in the office, and I watched as Nick turned and punched the wall.

I stood right in front of him, made him look me in the eyes, and I grabbed his hands.

“You CANNOT lose your housing or your freedom and both of those will happen if you don’t cut it out! Nick, no woman is worth this and she’s not the only one out there. If she’s trying to make you jealous, or you’re acting like this because she’s throwing another man in your face, she’s not the one for you! You’re going to end up in jail – or out on the streets again if you get kicked out of here, and she’s still going to be warm, eating good – with a place to live still. Is that what you want?”.

I gave him a little speech and tried talking common sense into him – while still holding on to his hands.

He said no.

He also said a lot of other things that worried me, and after all the different situations that happened with him today, we had a long and serious talk after the 3rd issue he caused.

At one point, the police had to be called. Actually, I called for the paramedics, and dispatch sent the police instead.

When they walked in – I met them in the hallway.

Officer A smiled this adorable, beautiful smile and asked, “How’s it going?”.

Me: It’s been a day already, and I just got here a few hours ago. You single?

No, I didn’t ask if he was single, but he was such a beautiful man, I was tempted. lol.

Officer B. wasn’t bad looking, either.

Both officers had me take them to Nick’s room, and they dealt with him.

After they left, I had my son laughing so much when I said that even though it’s been a wild day so far – dealing with everything going on with others, and then all the stuff with Nick – I totally didn’t mind some eye candy that early in the morning. He said for my birthday, he’s just going to rent me a room next year and hire two male strippers dressed like cops. He laughed even more when I told him I want the real thing. I don’t want a fake cop. 😁

Seriously though, I don’t know what will happen with Nick after today’s madness, but I pray for him and just hope he can work out his issues.

Part of working in any field that has to do with those who were once homeless, are criminals, violent, or have drug / alcohol issues – is that you support them, show love and compassion, respect them, and do what you can to calm them down, keep them calm, etc.

So, today – while Nick was looking for something else to punch after I let go of his hands, I told him, “NO!”, and asked if he needed a hug. He looked at me for a few moments – sadness in his eyes, and I opened my arms to him – giving him the biggest teddy bear hug!

Mental health is a real thing that needs love, and compassion – and I know this man has mental health issues. Mix alcohol in there, and it becomes a scary and dangerous combination. Once he got that hug, and I had this serious talk about his housing, how he should want to act to keep it, and not wanting to go to jail over this girl – we were able to sit down in the lobby and have an hour-long conversation, and he was able to remain calm the rest of the day.

I have seen both – the good and the bad sides of Nick.

He can really be such a cool guy sometimes.

Just yesterday – I was in the office, and he came up to the office window – pointing two nerf guns at me.

He started shooting the window and laughed. He said he got them for $10, and he was having fun.

I joked and told him, “I WANT TO PLAY!”.

He handed one to me.

We had fun.

Today, he also fell on his ass. Slid on ice outside, and when I went out there and asked if he really just fell, he laughed about it and said he broke his butt. So, he has a good side to him. He has a funny side.

Today, when he was finally calm after many hours of anger – we were sitting on the armchairs in the lobby talking, and he apologized to me for the cops being there. I joked that he did me a favor because I was able to see some “eye candy” so early in the morning. He looked at me, smiled and told me, “SSSSSHHHUUUTTT UPPPPP!”. lol. I did tell him I was expecting the medics after the issue he caused in his room – but the cops showed up instead, so they weren’t there because I wanted them to be. I wanted the medics for him.

He really is a good guy, but again – when you mix anger, mental health issues and liquor – it can go bad – fast! That’s what happened today. All day.

Still, I love my job.

I love that when these beautiful people need someone who cares – I can be there.

*****

Have you seen the movie “DANGEROUS MINDS?” – with Michelle Pfeiffer???

She works with bad ass teenagers and she’s trying to make them WANT to learn. WANT to change their lives.

At one point in the movie – one of them ask her why she even cares and says something about her just being in it for the money. She makes a comment back like, “I make a choice to care, and honey – the money isn’t that great!”. Something like that.

Today – one of my other tenants I see every day – was upset because I wouldn’t give him his alcohol portion since he hasn’t been eating much. I refused, and he’s just not used to that – coming from me. As soon as I walked in this morning, he smiled big – greeted me at the door – and yelled, “There she is!”. Why? He thought he was getting alcohol as soon as I walked in.

Nope. I told him he had to eat breakfast first.

He was upset.

I told him I heard he hasn’t been eating much, and I can’t have him living off alcohol portions.

I’ll tell you what he didn’t do.

He didn’t yell at me like he yells at anyone else.

He was respectful, but he did ask me why I even care. He said nobody gives a shit about him and then he says, “All of you just want the money”. I did that Michelle Pfeiffer comment and told him, “I make a choice to care, and honey – the money isn’t that great!”. I meant it, too! The money is nothing to brag about. It sucks – honestly, but I love my job, and I care so much about each one of the people who live in this facility.

I love seeing all of them daily – and joking around – making them smile – getting a laugh out of them because they know I try to be funny and make their day better. I use humor with all of them, and many of them enjoy that and joke right back.

Recently, I received a (Certificate of Appreciation) award from work. I was thrilled.

This made me smile and made me feel good.

I do make the choice to care – even if it’s just a paycheck for others.

I do give a shit, and I’ll continue – until I move and no longer work there.

Today – a few of the tenants planned to walk to the liquor store right when lunch started.

I knew they hadn’t eaten and I asked three of them if they grabbed lunch.

They said no.

I told them to march their butts to the kitchen before they go out in the ice and snow and take that long walk.

Guess what they did?

Agreed they’d better get lunch, and they all walked to the kitchen – where my son was handing out lunches.

One of them laughed when I joked that I feel like they’re all my “adult children!”. 😁

It has totally been a wild day. I’m exhausted. I work early again tomorrow, and while being single is great – sometimes, I do wish I had someone to come home to – to hand me a glass of wine, listen to me talk about all of this instead of writing it all to get it off my chest, and someone to massage my feet or shoulders – while he listens to me vent.

Thank all of you for listening to me vent though! Or – reading. 😶

I just had dinner. I’m going to cuddle up in bed and possibly listen to some music before I fall asleep.

💕Shel💕

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, who was dreaming about me and won’t let me sleep?

Ha.

It’s currently 2:20 AM and I’ve been awake since I went to bed at 9 – something last night.

I’ve just been in bed thinking about different things. Tossing and turning. Thinking some more. Thinking of bills due. Christmas coming up fast. My work schedule. Getting back into a workout routine, and all kinds of stuff. I’ve checked my phone about 20 times, and every time I look – it’s just another 20 minutes or so later.

My mind won’t shut the hell up, and for some crazy reason, my mind went to the train derailment of 1977 – in downtown Chicago.

(Photo taken from Medium).

My mom worked down there at the time if I remember her telling me that correctly.

She was down there when it happened.

I have no idea why I thought about this as I was in bed not able to sleep, but then I started looking up photos on it, reading the story, and remembering my mom talking about it many years ago.

If you want to read the story, check it out. 👇

https://mx-schroeder.medium.com/out-of-the-loop-the-1977-chicago-usa-train-collision-6049663a4fc6

There are more photos on the site.

😶

I don’t really tell many people because it’s not really a big deal – but I like trains. I know – weird fact about me you probably didn’t need to know, but I do. I think they’re really cool, and if I’m being honest – I especially love the freight trains that travel all around the world and have the really creative tagging / drawings on it – from people who shouldn’t be doing it – but some of their artwork is neat.

The fact that these trains go all over, and these taggers are getting their artwork noticed in many different states – is pretty amazing. Okay, okay. I’m Criminal justice. I know it’s illegal and it’s not right to tag on a train car or mark it up – but I’ve seen some hard work put into those masterpieces, and it makes me appreciate art more. I don’t mean the goofy “Let me tag my name on this train car” – garbage. I mean the awesome photos of cartoons that get drawn, or the ones that take time to make something stand out – that the entire world will see – wherever that train car is.

I always wonder if someone creates these beautiful pieces on train cars and thinks to themselves, “Many people in many cities and states will see this and love it!”.

Stuff like (below) – makes me smile and makes me wonder how the hell there’s enough time – to do stuff like this, but again – while wrong and illegal – some of it – is creative.

💕

💕

Just because I started thinking about the train derailment in Chicago in 1977, that got me thinking about train cars I’ve seen with all kinds of drawings and artwork on it. I’m not okay with the tagging and people just being stupid about it – but something like these photos – that go all over the world and make people giggle and smile – I’m not against it!

STILL ILLEGAL THOUGH! STILL NOT A GOOD IDEA TO DO IT!

If you get caught, there’s hefty consequences!!!!

Hell. There are so many different types of trains and different styles, I just appreciate the trains themselves – even without the tagging and beauty of different artwork on them. So, I grabbed my phone, and I was looking up different types of trains, and I came across more train derailments, and why they happen.

What I really wanted to see – was how it looks for a train conductor – driving a train, so I looked up those videos.

Another fun fact about me – is that I once wanted to be a train conductor and drives those huge things, but I know it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, and there’s a lot that goes into it.

I’m telling you! For some reason – I’ve always been fascinated with trains.

Maybe it started when I was a young kid and my friends and I would climb over a fence – to then climb up a hill and onto the train tracks down the block from where I grew up. I loved trains even then, and nothing has changed.

There was one time a police officer was driving by, saw my best friend and I – up on the tracks, and screamed at us to get down. We hopped back over the fence, and once we were back on the ground, he yelled at us – telling us the dangers of being up on the tracks, and how if it derails – we’re in trouble and can be killed up there.

Our brothers were up there, too!

Mine got caught and he had to come down, and my best friend’s brother was hiding behind a wall – laying down, so the cop couldn’t see him. We were told that if he comes back around or sees us up there again, we’d be taken to the station, and our parents would be called. He asked if anyone else was up there with us, and we lied and said no. He asked, “So, that foot I see – isn’t attached to a body?”. lol

We turned to see my best friend’s brother’s foot sticking out from behind the wall. He got in trouble, too!

And –

My best friend lived on a dead-end street, on the 3rd floor – and the train tracks were literally right outside her window, so we could see people in the train and the trains going by, and they could see us if we had our heads sticking out of her bedroom window. We used to wave, and some would wave back. Sometimes, if the train conductor saw us, he’d toot the train horn for us. 😊

So, besides bills, and Christmas – my work schedule and other things on my mind, I was searching train videos of all kinds, and the 1977 derailment in my city back then. Long before I was born. I was searching for photos of train tagging’s – and drawings on trains that people have taken photos of, and I have some myself in one of my old phones.

Still – my mind wouldn’t shut up and let me sleep.

Then, I realized I was hungry and had to get up to eat, so I checked on my little guy, and saw – (as usual) – his cat sleeping right next to him – like Simba does every night. 💕

Just a boy and his fur buddy. 😁

I checked on my other two kids, and snuck to the kitchen to grab something little to eat, and here I am.

Writing for the world – that’s probably all sleeping right now. How does it feel?! haha.

I also found myself looking up reviews for different places I shop, eat, etc. I’m telling you – insomnia is real and it will have me all over the internet looking up things that make no sense at the time, but they’re interesting.

After all that, I started thinking about the people at work. From my amazing co-workers to the residents that we take care of and look out for – I adore them all.

The residents in our care – are homeless and have come to stay at our facility upon approval of whoever helps them pay for it – be it insurance, or whatever, and the case manager they work with.

They have to abide by certain rules, and if they follow those rules – they have a place to stay. If they break them – they can be kicked out. The residents in our care have mental health issues, drug and alcohol addictions, Criminal records, and many have had complicated rough lives, but I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else, because our residents are pretty awesome. 💕

As someone who works in the facility, I know that anything can happen on any given day and sometimes – our lives can be put in danger, but I also know that there’s protocol and the police are right on board with arriving quickly if any one of my co-workers or myself need them, especially if someone who isn’t allowed near the facility or on the property – shows up.

Many times – we’re not even thinking about the dangers of working in this facility when we’re there. We’re vigilant and stay alert of course, but I think the communication between all of my co-workers and myself – is beautiful and we all make sure that if we need our lead staff – we can call them and know that they’ll come handle whatever they need to.

I think the worst that has happened – is a few of them having too much to drink, and we may have to get in between them and whoever they’re arguing with, or let it be known that they don’t want to break their lease and get kicked out – so, “Cut it out!”, and many times – they do stop before anything gets too crazy.

I think it’s about building rapport (trust and mutual respect) with the residents that live there, and the staff – and getting to know all of their personalities, so if something does happen – we can step in and deal with each individual on a personal level – knowing they trust a few of us who work there.

I love it.

I love the residents, and I love going to work, and I never thought I’d say that.

I’ve been in the medical field for so long, and I used to hate going to work, but now that I’m in the field of partial Criminal justice / partial community service and dealing with criminals, homeless residents that now live in the facility, drug and alcohol addicted people – it’s such a rewarding job, and I can now honestly say – I love my job!

Just the other day, one of my most awesome residents came up to me and handed me this:

Isn’t it cute?!

He told me he made it for me, and it’s not much – but he thought it was nice.

I absolutely love it and told him that for me – it’s the little things that matter, and that I was going to put it on display on my kitchen counter at home – and I sure did! 😊

Many of them are such sweet and kind people, but because of what they’ve been through and have done in their lives – they need to know they can trust us staff members, and I try to make sure they know they can come to me and I’m going to do whatever I can for them – just like a few of my co-workers who go above and beyond.

It’s not just a paycheck for me!

While I couldn’t sleep, all of that was running through my mind because we have some residents who probably won’t ever get better, get help, or change – and I hate that, but I respect their choices. They’ve been this way for so long, they don’t know any other lifestyle. For some residents – they’re not doing well, and they know they’re not going to be on this earth long, so they choose to live reckless and do what they want to do, and we can’t stop that.

So – where I work – we laugh, we love, we show compassion and kindness and just be there whenever these residents need us.

I thought about work as well. Not just trains, bills, Christmas and whatever else.

Listen, I’ve eaten. I’ve written. It’s 3:13 AM, and I have to be up for work at 5, so I should probably try to again to get some sleep. I know I’ll be drinking a lot of Coffee later today.

I will catch up with all of you and what’s going on in your lives later tonight.

Have a beautiful and blessed day!

💕Shel💕