Senior Ditch Day – almost to the finish line and talking about Ella (The niece).

(The above adorable photo was taken from Pinterest, and I’d love to credit the artist, but have no idea who it is).

Anyway….

My daughter is so close to graduation, and the Seniors have started talking about Senior Ditch Day, and what they were going to do.

They have a group chat that many of the Seniors are in – on Snapchat – including my daughter.

My daughter was honest with me and told me she will NOT be in classes or school at all – on that day. She wanted to “let me know!”. I laughed, but she’s done so amazing all these years, and I can’t even be mad because she’s never ditched school, so the one day she does – that’s actually made for Seniors to ditch – go for it, kid!

Just be safe, let me know where you are, and keep in contact with me!

She is a little disappointed and bothered because they had a choice between going swimming at a water park, or to the trampoline park, and she was one of the ones – (along with a few others) – who picked the trampoline park.

She doesn’t like the way she looks in a swimsuit. She doesn’t care when she’s around family, but when it’s her classmates, she says “No way!”. She asked if we could just go to the trampoline park – when half the class voted for swimming / the water park.

Then – the leader of the group chat changed it. He said they could also do the trampoline park or the Casino.

My daughter is only 17, so she can’t get into the Casino, unfortunately.

Not even to just walk around and enjoy Senior Ditch Day with the graduating class.

Many of the Seniors are already 18 and said they would rather go to the Casino – with one of the girls suggesting they all pitch in and get a hotel room or two for the night. This girl who suggested it – said that the ones who only 17 – can stay in the hotel room until the others are done at the Casino, but I feel like that’s a little unfair and absolutely boring for the 17-year-olds.

I felt bad for my daughter.

So, when she asked if her, her good friend Peyden, and I – could go to the trampoline park the day of Senior Ditch Day – I said we’d see, but most likely.

I don’t want my daughter to be left out because of her age, and I also don’t want Peyden to maybe want to join the class of 2026 at the Casino and miss out because she’s 18 and my daughter is not – but she feels bad that my daughter can’t go.

I feel like they should all come up with something they can agree on and do as the entire graduating class.

So, as of now – the plan is the Casino and hotel for the group of 18-year-olds. I’m sure there will also be drinking of course, so I’m kind of happy in a way – that my daughter isn’t 18 yet. I think it’s sad that they won’t reconsider for the ones who are not yet 18, but it is what it is.

My daughter won’t be 18 until after she graduates. Months after.

I probably will take them to the trampoline park that day, and out to eat. I want them to have fun and be able to do whatever they want to do.

Along with Senior Ditch Day – comes planning my daughter’s graduation get-together. I call it get-together instead of a party – because it’s just going to be a bunch of her friends, and a lot of fun! I’m not sure if we’re doing it here at the house, ordering pizza, blasting the music and just letting them have a great time, or – if I’m going to rent a hall, the bowling alley, or go skating – and just do this mini get-together party somewhere else, so I don’t have to clean up after.

I giggled this morning when her friend Mya – told me that her dad was in her room late last night – asking what she wants him to order for her graduation party and told me they were renting the lot next door to their house for it.

I guess I should start making plans for Kailani’s get-together, huh?! I think I mentioned before that she doesn’t want a big party, and she likes her personal space, so I ended up skipping the Cardi B. concert I wanted to go to – to get her Romeo Santos and Prince Royce tickets that she wanted so bad – as an early graduation gift.

She was so excited.

Still, knowing I have to plan this get-together – (which I’ll probably do a few days before graduation) – and make sure last minute graduation details are all taken care of – it’s going to be a long – next few weeks.

It’s almost here, and I’m so happy for her.

I asked her yesterday when she’ll get her cap and gown because the teens are allowed to decorate their caps, and she’s been showing me some of her ideas.

I also want to take more Senior photos for fun – now that the weather is getting nicer, and I want to make sure we have tons of photos with her friends – that she can remember and cherish for life. 💕 I know once graduation is over in a few months, my daughter and all her friends that have been so close since 7th and 8th grade – will be going their own ways in life and headed on new paths with new people and new adventures.

I just hope they all keep in contact – no matter how old they are in the future.

I have friends now – that I met in kindergarten and kept in touch with all these years / decades later, so I hope her and her friends – stay friends for life.

You all know the tears are going to flow as soon as I see her walk into the gym with the others I’ve become “mom” to over the years. She’s my biological daughter, but I have so many “adopted” babies that have become mine since I’ve met them, and to see them all graduate and finish high school together – is going to make me so proud.

It’s also so bitter-sweet because I know life is going to take them in opposite directions after high school, as I said – so – we may never see some of them again.

I pray for all of them and wish nothing but the best for them – including my daughter of course!

My daughter plans to go on to training after high school – to get her EMT certification, and after a year – she’ll try to become a full Paramedic, and then she plans to go to college with the money she’s earning from her Paramedic job – to try to become a Crime Scene Investigator, or the person who cleans up Crime scenes. Yep. She wants to go into Criminal Justice – just like her mama! 🤗

I’d like to think that me earning my associate degree and BA in Criminal Justice – motivated her to do the same.

I sat in the high school parking lot this morning talking to my daughter, her friend Mya and her friend Angel, and when they all went to class, I almost started crying – thinking to myself, “These days are almost over!”.

All the high school drama I’ve heard over the years – all the early mornings waking up on school days – all the arguments over homework and different assignments she didn’t want to do and I made her, all the funny moments – all the stuff that drove me crazy… I’m going to miss this!

I know I am.

It reminds me of the excellent Trace Adkins song I love so much:

Before I get emotional – let me talk about something different. 🙄😁

*****

I was asked yesterday – if my niece’s mother ever messaged me or called. The answer is No.

For those who don’t know – I have a new niece named (Ella). She is a few months old now and I haven’t seen her, except for one photo from when she was born – that my brother’s ex posted online. My brother and her don’t talk as far as I know, and she wants nothing to do with my brother.

However, I still want to know my niece. I want my niece to know that Auntie loves her, and Auntie is here for her – no matter what.

So, I sent her mother a package with the cutest clothes, onesies, baby outfits, Pajamas, baby shoes, baby spoons for when she starts eating, and some other things. I also sent a card congratulating my brother’s ex, telling her I want to get to know Ella, and asking her to message me or call.

Nothing. And – I sent it last month if I remember correctly.

She probably thinks I did it, so she’d talk to my brother, but she doesn’t even know I don’t talk to my brother anymore.

Either way – she never even said “Thanks!”, and you know what? That’s okay. I hope she got it and God knows my heart was in the right place when I sent it to her for my niece. I also included a Bath N’ Body works gift card in that Congratulations card, so she could do something nice for herself as well.

I don’t even know if she got it or not, because she’s not saying anything, but it says it was delivered.

What I do know though – is that a few days ago – I got a notification on TikTok.

Good ol’ TikTok tells you who views your profile – IF – they’re signed in.

That’s right! If you want to look at someone’s profile and don’t want them to know – don’t sign in and just look them up.

If their profile is public, you can see it and it won’t show them you viewed it, but – this person was signed in, and it showed they just made their account recently. So, I was able to view it, and I giggled when it was a fake name – but it said “Sister” from your contacts – is on TikTok – and that “Sister” viewed your profile.

When her and my brother were together, I named her “Sister” when I entered her number into my phone – thinking she was one day – going to my new sister-in-law. So, when she thought she was slick signing up for a different TikTok account, using a fake name, and putting her real phone number when she signed up – that didn’t work out for her.

I sat there giggling.

I told my daughter and she laughed with me.

I ended up messaging this fake name on this fake profile – knowing exactly who it was viewing my profile – and I was funny about it.

“When you stalk someone on a burner account / fake account – you’re not supposed to sign up for that burner / fake account with a real email or phone number that can be traced back to you!”. 🤣

I told her I knew it was her.

I told her I’m sorry for everything that happened between her and my brother.

I told her I don’t blame her for leaving him or not wanting anything to do with him – because of how he is, and that I just want to get to know my niece.

I told her I’d appreciate it if she at least let me know if she got the package that I sent to her or not – even if she wants to tell me to “F*** off!”. I’d respect her wishes, and that I wasn’t trying to cause her any drama or problems, but I’d also appreciate it if she lets Ella know me.

I asked her to reach out to me.

Still – nothing, and now that I sent that message – the fake profile has been deleted – it looks like.

Also, if someone ever wants to talk to me, message me, etc. – let me be clear that you don’t have to look me up, view me or stalk me on a fake account. Just be yourself, message me as yourself, and say, “Hey!”. I don’t mind chatting.

So, no – I haven’t heard anything from her, but she did view my TikTok – and probably my other socials.

I’m just bothered that I can’t get to know my niece and there’s really not much I can do about it, but birthdays – holidays, etc. I do plan to put some money to the side for Ella, and when she is a teenager or old enough to know who I am and me to message her one day in the future – I will give her anything I’ve saved her for, any money, and see what comes of it.

*****

I wish I had more to sit here and tell you, but I don’t.

My life is pretty boring at the moment and all I do is work, try to save as much money as I can to move, figure out how and where to move, pay bills, work some more, and try to live finally – instead of just surviving.

I love you and hope you’re all doing well and in the best of happiness, love, and peace. 💕🤗

💕Shel💕

A new little life, and this new little job I love.

    Hello my loves!

   First of all, let me share some fun news!

I’m going to be an Auntie again!!!! 🥰

Do I know if I’ll ever see the baby? No.

Do I know if I’ll get to be a part of the child’s life? Also no.

Still, the thought of becoming an auntie to a little girl this time – is a little bit exciting. I have two nephews and I adore them. I always get so happy when they see me, run to me and yell, “AUNTIE!”. I miss them tons, as they are back home in Chicago.

My brother has my nephews by his ex-wife.

This new baby that is on the way – she’s by his now ex-fiance. The now ex-fiance wants nothing to do with my brother and a few months ago, she made it clear she isn’t giving the baby my brother’s last name, and she isn’t planning to have my brother there when she delivers the baby.

I think both are really mean if I’m being honest.

Yes, my brother is an idiot, and he’s burned bridges with a lot of people (including his ex-fiancé), but he deserves to see his new baby make her way into this world (especially because he’s always wanted a little girl). I think it’s a little mean not to give the baby his last name, but she’s the mother and it’s her choice.

She cut my brother out of her life, and anyone that’s involved with him – (including me). I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want the baby to know any of us, or her older brothers (my nephews), but I haven’t talked to her, so I don’t know what she’s thinking or where her mind is. 

She refuses to talk to my brother.

I just found out that she has a baby registry set up online, and whether she wants my brother or his family in this baby’s life or not, I plan to grab some things she requested on this baby registry, and send them to her for the baby – because this new baby – is still and forever will be my niece.

I’m still going to love her just as much as I love my nephews and I hope that my brother’s ex-fiancé – allows my brother and I – to know this child. I hope she allows the child to know who we are.🩷

It takes a village to raise a baby, right?

As a single mother myself – I hope my brother’s ex-fiancé allows me to be in her village and help her raise little Ella. (That’s the name she and my brother picked before she decided she wanted nothing to do with him).

So, I have a niece on the way, and I have no idea if I’ll get to meet her or be involved in her life or not, but we shall see. My nephews still have no idea they’re having a little sister.

It’s a bad situation with a beautiful baby attached to it. 

I will admit I wasn’t happy when I heard my brother got this girl pregnant. He had just gotten a divorce, he had just gotten back from deployment, and he wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

Hell, he hadn’t even been with this new girl for very long before she ended up pregnant.

Not to mention he wasn’t financially stable, and he and his now ex-fiancé were already having a lot of problems, but – as the time gets closer – the thought has grown on me, and I just wish the best for my new niece and the parents who created her.

I shall keep you all updated as Ella (Or, whatever he mother names her) – is due next month.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

That being said ….

Let’s talk about work!

I’ve been working a LOT – as Christmas is fast approaching and I’ve been trying to finish up Christmas shopping.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…..

I worked in the medical field for 9 years with Alzheimer’s / Dementia / behavioral patients, and I was highly stressed, and overworked. Isn’t that how it usually goes in the medical field, though?

I loved my patients and I’ve met so many great ones along the way during those years – that I’ll never forget, but the hours were long, the drama in the medical field between staff can get very catty and crazy, and the pay wasn’t always the greatest. It was rewarding when it came to the sweet people I took care of, but there were a lot of cons to it when it came to the actual work environment and things that the staff dealt with.

Now (?) – now I can actually say I love my job and I love going to work when I’m scheduled.

Staff drama and cattiness at the new job? Of course! It’s at this job as well, but I try to go, mind my business, bite my tongue when I need to, and just make sure the residents in the facility I work in – laugh, and have a great day.

I mentioned before that I finally got away from the medical field and stepped into working in a facility that houses the homeless community, and those with criminal pasts, drug and alcohol addictions, and mental health issues.

I will just say – that while some of our city looks down on them and doesn’t want to deal with them when they hear where they are from because our city sees them as “trouble” or “problems” – if you get to know them on a personal / deeper level … they are some of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Have they made bad choices in life? Yes.

Have they done some stupid sh**? Also, yes.

They will all tell you themselves – their life stories and the traumas and dramas they’ve been through, and the mistakes they’ve made and regret, but many of them are decent people. Many of them are good people who end up in bad situations due to their choices, and they do regret many of the things they’ve done in life.

As I’ve gotten to know all of them more, they make me laugh so much, and I always try to bring giggles to their day as well – as I joke around with them, and make sure they know I care. Some are there for a paycheck, but me? I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer when on the great movie “DANGEROUS MINDS” when someone asks her, “Why do you care anyway? You’re just here for the money”, and she replies with, “Because I make the choice to care, and honey – the money ain’t that good!”.

Believe me when I say the money isn’t that great at all, but I do care about those who live there.

The homeless. The drug addicts. The alcoholics. The criminals.

They’re human. They have feelings and needs – and wants like everyone else, and most of them just want to feel like they matter. 🥺 I try to be there and listen and do that for them.

So, if I can go to work and we can all laugh together and just make my job and them living there a little more fun, why not?!

💕

I’ve gotten to know an elderly man I’ll call Tony. He runs around like crazy looking for things around the building that need to be fixed, and he’ll do it if he can. He looks for projects, or watches things going on – to keep himself busy all day, so he thinks about other things instead of his previous lifestyle. He’s such a sweetheart and he loves to talk.

Sometimes, he’ll just come by the office, hang out and chat with me. Sometimes, he’ll stand there and laugh at his own jokes, and it makes me laugh. Other times, as I watch the cameras, I’ll see him on one – and a few seconds later – he’s down the hall on another and I’m wondering how he got there so fast. Tony is all over the place – all day long, and he’s such a silly, humorous, amazing guy.

He reminds me of Uncle Si from the show (Duck Dynasty). I swear – he looks just like him almost and I always want to ask him if I can start calling him “Uncle Si”, but I don’t want to make it weird. lol. He’s just as goofy as Uncle Si – as well.

For his birthday in a few weeks, he plans to shave his beard and see how it looks. He also told me he would love to have a cape, so he could run around as a “Super Tony” – of course he said his real name, but I can’t here. I was laughing so much and told him if I buy him a cape for his birthday – to tie it around his neck, he has to wear it all day and fly around the building as SUPER TONY. He told me he’s absolutely going to do that!!!!

I do plan to buy him a cape. 😁He said he just wants to feel like a superhero for a day.

A few days ago, he came in from the garden area outside, and I was writing a report.

When I looked up, he had one of the garden statues in his hand. It was a man that looked like he was fishing. I asked why he brought it inside, and he laughed and tells me, “Look! He LITERALLY froze his ass off!”. He held the statue up. It had a big ice / snow bump on it’s bottom.

While I’d love to show the entire photo, I can’t – for privacy reasons of course, but here’s the statue:

He said he was going to let the statue “thaw out”, and then he was going to paint him because he’s a little rusty.

See? He’s always looking for something to do. ha.

I adore this old guy.

💕

We have a woman I’ll call “Mary”. (Obviously – all names are changed for privacy).

Mary and I have gotten close, and she comes down once in a while to chat or get whatever she needs from the office.

I know the guy she’s dating there – works her last nerve, so when she came down and asked me, “Do you have any (body ba)…………….I mean garbage bags?”. We both laughed so hard. My jaw dropped and I joked that she better be careful because there’s this word in the Criminal justice system called, “Premeditated”. She laughed so much, and it’s just good to see them enjoy laughter.

I told her if I didn’t see him with her later, I was going to be asking questions, and she just laughed and laughed.

A lot of them have been through so much and have done so much, that laughter helps them get through their day. The other day – Mary and her boyfriend were having their usual argument, and I went upstairs to go get him out of her apt. and he raised his voice.

I’ve gotten to know her boyfriend “Kevin” pretty well also, and he’s usually respectful, but when he raised his voice at me, I raised mine right back, and told him, “Let’s go! She wants you out! You can either come downstairs and talk to me, and I’ll argue with you if that’s what you’re on today, or you can go to your own apartment, but you have to get out of hers!”. He kind of smiled, and told me that he never gives me trouble, and he did end up leaving her room.

💕

When I first started this job, I was told that if something escalates or kicks off – I will eventually learn how to handle it – once I get to know all of their personalities, what works with them and what doesn’t, and I think I’ve mastered learning how to handle most of them when things get crazy, or escalate.

We have one guy I’ll call “Danny”. He makes me laugh a lot, and he’s usually joking around or in a good mood.

I came in at 7 AM a few days ago, and he was far from a “good mood”. He was screaming, yelling, calling the overnight staff names, and telling them to do their job. He wanted alcohol. Normally, we’d give a little bit, so they don’t get sick from withdrawals, and it’s all controlled – but he didn’t have any available.

When he saw me, he was still angry, and he looked straight at me.

I quickly killed that negativity because I’ve gotten to know Danny and how to deal with him.

I told him, “I just got here! Don’t start nothing with me. You won’t get anything from me all day!”. He grinned – until he broke into a full smile, and he was fine after a while. He did end up getting his little portion.

Withdrawals for some of these people are a real thing. It’s sad, and it’s another reason we have to treat them like humans and give them what they ask for if we can.

My heart hurts for some of the people who live there, so if I can make their lives easier or better in any way – I’m always going to try my best while I’m at work.

I could talk about many of them all day because they’re some great people, and they have feelings, too!

They share stories with me. They admit their faults and mistakes to me.

I play security, bartender, advocate, therapist, problem-solver, etc. – all in one when I’m at work, and I don’t mind it.

It truly is a great job, and it may not pay big bucks – but it’s not the medical field and for that, I’m grateful.

Don’t get me wrong! I truly love and appreciate those in the medical field because it takes a special and very patient person to be in it for years and years and years – and keep going. For me though? I just wanted out, and I wanted to get into something along the lines of Criminal justice – as my degrees are in, and helping people, and I think God brought me right where he wanted me. ❤️

We have a guy named “Cory”.

They’ve had some issues with Cory, but I won’t go into details.

Some of the things I’ve read about him are scary, but he’s always been so calm, super chill, and nice to me.

He’ll come down and ask if I have coffee all the time, because he loves MY coffee. He says the kitchen coffee is so watered down, he could see the bottom of his cup, and he doesn’t like that. You shouldn’t be able to see the bottom of your coffee cup. I giggled and agreed with him. I do make coffee in the office all day long, so some of them know that and come to me for their coffee.

I make mine strong.

Today actually – he got kitchen coffee, and for his 2nd cup – he came to me for office coffee.

I joked and told him, “No! You cheated on my coffee!”. He laughed and told me, “Trust me! It wasn’t worth it. Won’t happen again!”. lol.

Those are the things I enjoy when I go to work and get to joke with my residents, or just be there when they need to vent, talk, cry, smile. When I can listen to them and help them work through whatever they’re dealing with or feeling, that means a lot to them and to me as well. I love that!

So, while I’m not doing the job I wanted to do right now (probation) – again, God brought me where he has me now – for a reason, and I’m so grateful for this job, and the fact that I can make a difference whenever I’m at work. I’m grateful that many of them are happy to see me – and on weekends – me and my son because he works there as well, and they know they’re going to be treated right and taken care of.

Today, one of the ladies told my son that we’re the best two staff members they’ve had in such a long time.

Someone else said the same thing last week, and it makes us feel good 😊

That’s what I’ve been doing.

Preparing for a new niece, getting ready for Christmas and working.

I’m exhausted though, it’s almost Midnight, and I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll absolutely write more – as my brain feels like it’s ready to shut down.

Sleep well my darlings!

❤️Shel❤️