Tag: respect

Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Some chapters in life should remain closed – including friendships.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, my brother called me last week.

Yes, you read that right. My brother. The one I haven’t talked to in months because he keeps blocking me if he doesn’t like when I tell him the truth about what I think, or what he needs to hear.

I looked at my missed call list and totally ignored his call.

I didn’t plan to talk to him because I’m so tired of him blocking me. Unblocking me. Blocking me. Unblocking me.

It got to the point where I was okay if we never spoke again – if it meant I get to keep my peace and not have to worry about the pettiness that comes with his drama.

However, a few days later – he was texting me.

He misses me. He’s so sorry. He realizes he was being childish. He went on and on about why I should talk to him, including a few jokes along with his texts. He said he blocked me because I kept asking about his new baby that his ex-fiancé had – and he had no answers for me.

I asked him what was going on with court, because he started a court case to see his daughter and he did nothing with it once it was filed, and he met (yet another) new fiancé he has now. I was irritated that he wasn’t even trying to fight for or see his newborn daughter.

Anyway, he and I were talking the other day – (because he’s still family) – and he ended up asking if I remembered a few people we grew up with in – or close to the same neighborhood. I smiled because I remembered many of them, and he told me about the ones he still talks to or has on his Facebook and told me what some of them are up to these days.

He ended up asking if I remember Jayla and Jayden. *Names changed for privacy*.

I absolutely do!

Jayla was one of my good friends when we were teenagers, and I haven’t talked to her since we were in our late 20’s, and I found her on Facebook years and years ago. For some reason, we ended up losing contact again. Her brother Jayden – was such a cutie when we used to hang out as teenagers, and he and I would always flirt.

Jayden gave the best hugs and if I was having a bad day, he’d take me in his arms, squeeze me and wouldn’t let go until I promised him that I was okay.

We were always hanging out with them or at their house when their parents were at work. They had a few other brothers as well.

So, when he asked if I remembered them, I asked if he still talked to them. He said no.

I put my cell phone on speaker and quickly looked up Jayla first. I noticed she hasn’t posted anything for years, but I found her Facebook, and on the random chance that she sees it – I sent her a friend request. I then looked up her brother Jayden and found him right away.

He’s in his late 30’s now, but he’s still so handsome.

I sent him a friend request as well. He accepted it a few hours later.

He messaged me right away and talked to me like no time had passed at all. 🤗

I told him that I was going to ask if he remembers me, but when he started talking – I didn’t need to. He laughed and made me smile when he said, “Of course I remember you! I had the biggest crush on you back then!”.

I read the message like:

Wait a minute!

You never told me that!!!

I admitted that I also had the biggest crush on him, and no. I never told him that because I didn’t know he felt the same way, but we were teenagers. We were so young, and I laugh about all of it now.

We talked on Facebook a few days ago – about our kids, the lives we have now, me earning two Criminal Justice degrees and moving to Minnesota, him still living in IL. and just laughed about the good old times when we all used to hang out and get into trouble.

He said he really misses those days, and so do I!

We had a nice conversation, and it felt good talking to him again – but then – I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said, “Married to”, and had her name attached to it. He asked if I was married. I said no. I told him I’ve been divorced since 2013, and just to see what he would say, I asked if he was married. He was honest and said yes, but they’re having problems.

I didn’t ask any questions because that’s not my business, and truthfully, I was just happy I was able to reconnect with him – as a good, longtime friend of mine from way back.

When I went to look at his other photos on his Facebook page, I realized he deleted me.

Oh.

Ok.

I messaged him and told him he should have just denied the friend request if he was going to delete me, but I don’t think you can send certain people messages unless you are friends on Facebook at first, so I think he did it because of that. Idk.

I did tell him I wish him the best.

He messaged me back and he gave me his cell phone number.

He replied with, “I do want to continue to talk, and keep in touch. I just don’t want my wife seeing you on my Facebook, and I have to sit and explain everything to her. We’re having problems and I don’t need her drama or her asking questions”.

I understood that, and I asked if she was the jealous type. He said, “Yes and no”. I had no idea what that even meant, so I didn’t ask – but I knew that if he had to hide me from his wife – maybe this was one of those chapters in life – that should just stay closed.

If he couldn’t tell her that nothing ever happened between us, we were good friends when we were younger, and we just reconnected – then maybe – it was best that we just said hi to each other, talked about the good old memories, and moved on with our lives. No numbers. No keep in touch. Nothing.

He then asked me to send him a picture, “So I could have something to dream about when I go to bed”. Yep. That’s what he literally said.

I almost wanted to go on the Facebook of his wife, take one of her photos, and send it to him.

Dream about your wife, dude!

I didn’t do that.

Anyone who knows me – knows I don’t come between marriages, and I have morals, dammit! lol.

I told him no.

I felt like him having to hide our friendship from her, and him asking for photos of me – was crossing more lines than I wanted. I was just looking to reconnect with him after all these years, and it would have been nice to see him again one day if he wasn’t married, but the fact is – he is married – with a few kids.

He needed to respect his wife.

He needed to respect me – as just a good friend from the past – who would have loved to stay friends if I didn’t see what his intentions were that night.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

If you’re not happy in your marriage, sit your partner down and talk it out. If you feel like it’s just not going to work out – get out of the marriage. I know so many people in unhappy marriages, and instead of leaving – some of them would rather cheat, flirt, lie, hide other people they may be happy with.

I never understood that.

So, I told him I was going to bed, and I had work in the morning – (which wasn’t a lie), and I told him it was nice talking to him – and I closed that chapter of my life – again and for good.

I was a little bothered that he felt the need to hide me.

I was a little sad that he didn’t respect his wife enough to not ask me for a photo (of my ass as well), and that it went the way it did – instead of us laughing and catching up like old times, but – it is what it is, and I’m happy he’s alive, well and doing okay.

That’s the end of it.

No. I won’t be using his number.

Anyway – let me tell you about work!

I giggled when a co-worker of mine told me yesterday – that anytime she talks about people at work – to her boyfriend, she always uses “alias” names, and she laughed when I told her I do the same thing when I’m blogging.

I mean – privacy is key, right?!

Some of you enjoy my work stories and I love telling them.

We have a man I’ll call “Chino”, and I think I talked about him before.

Chino has memory loss from an accident he was in many years ago, but he’s still so funny and wild.

The memory loss is only once-in-a-while, but when he gets it – it hits him bad, and sometimes – things he forgot about will come back out of nowhere.

His girlfriend that I’ll call “Shannon” – passed away last year, and he hasn’t really talked about her since. We all thought he forgot about her – and he probably did.

The other day, I was coming back from down the hall and he was panicking. He asked me where Shannon was and told me he can’t find her.

The facility nurse and I – asked if he meant his girlfriend. He said yes.

I was happy when the facility nurse told him gently, “Chino, she passed last year. Don’t you remember? You went to go see her before she passed”. He seemed so upset to hear that news, but slowly – he did remember.

This job is so much fun, but times like these – break my heart and we do have sad moments at the facility.

Yesterday, I was working and he came downstairs and asked if I had his money card.

I said no. I told him that his case manager would have it. I asked him if he wanted me to call his case manager to come to the front. He said yes. So, I did.

While we were waiting, I asked what he wanted his money card for, and he said he wanted to go to Duluth, MN. He said there’s a homeless shelter out there he wants to stay in for a while, because he wants to see new things and travel the world.

He said he can’t stay in one place for too long, yet – he’s been in this facility for years now and doesn’t recall sometimes. Other times, he can tell you exactly how long he’s been there.

Yesterday, he came downstairs many different times asking who has his money card, despite me telling him it’s the case manager, and despite him talking to the case manager about leaving – many different times.

He’s done this before where he’ll talk about packing, getting his money card and hitching a ride to Duluth, but yesterday – he told me Duluth a few times, then he kept saying Fargo, ND. So, eventually, I joked with him and asked where he’s going for real – because he doesn’t even seem to know.

He insisted he was going to Duluth.

He kept talking about how he “wants to see the world before he dies”. The man is young. He’s super young – so, I told him that and joked that if he wants to see the world, he came come into the office and I’d pull up a map with photos for him. I joked that I would go next door to the antique shop and even buy him a spinning globe to see the world.

One of those old school globes that classrooms used to have. He laughed.

I think the case manager just kind of brushed it off as Chino doing what Chino does …talking about leaving, and he’s right there going nowhere the very next day, forgetting he was even wanting to go.

Still, when Chino talks about leaving, I kind of just joke with him and play into it – knowing most likely – he’ll be there on my next shift, and I’m okay with that. I adore Chino.

He did make me laugh yesterday because he always asks for coffee, I’ll give it to him, and he’ll stand by the front desk and pour sugar – spilling it all over the door counter, leaving it for me to clean up. So, I joked and asked him who was going to make me clean up their mess if he leaves?

He replied, “I know huh? Don’t cry about it!”. lol.

****

Jay-Lee.

My Jay-Lee.

She’s a young girl.

Such a sweetheart, and so very vulnerable, so I try to look out for Jay-lee when I’m at work.

She’s an alcoholic with a lot of health issues.

She gets black-out drunk, stumbles in the facility, or she needs staff to go get her because she’s laying on the ground somewhere outside and others come and alert us.

A few weeks ago, she met my daughter.

I took some important keys home with me and had to go back to bring them in, and my daughter was with me. Jay-lee gave her a big hug when I introduced them, and I told my daughter, “If you get a Jay-Lee hug, you’re special! She doesn’t just hand those out freely!”. My daughter laughed.

My daughter then told me quietly, that Jay-Lee was crying.

I looked at her, and she was.

Jay-Lee said she doesn’t have her kids in her life right now, and that her mother doesn’t really talk to her, so I knew it made her feel some kind of way – meeting my daughter. I felt bad.

I told Jay-Lee, “How about this? This is my baby at home, and when I come to work, you’re my baby here?”. She smiled and joked about me being young, too! She told me, “You can be my big sister!”. That’s what Jay-Lee is to me now. My little sister. She walks around calling me, “Sis”, and I look out for her like she’s my little sis.

This past weekend, Jay-Lee was drunk.

Her boyfriend came and asked if someone could go get her outside because she didn’t want to get up.

My son and I work together on the weekends, so since he’s a bigger guy and he knew he could lift her into the wheelchair, he grabbed the wheelchair and went out to see where she was. He made it back inside with her, and I took her up to her room.

We had a “Come to Jesus” meeting! 🙄

I looked her in the eyes, and told her – “Baby, you can’t do this to yourself anymore! It’s one thing to have a few drinks on the weekend to relax, but it’s a whole other monster you’re messing with – to get blackout drunk and not remember what happened the next day, or to be passed out somewhere where someone might leave you there to be raped, or murdered! You’re playing with fire, little sis!”.

She started crying. She kept telling me, “I know! I know!

I sat there and brought up a few different incidents that have happened in the building and out of it when she’s been so drunk like this before, and how things could have ended up really bad, or did end up bad.

Did I tell her that her kids are going to see her in a casket sooner than later if she keeps this drinking up? I did.

She said their father died a while back, and she didn’t want them to lose their mother.

I told her, “But they’re going to J. You’re not healthy and you’re not making good choices!”.

She was in tears, but she needed to be told reality.

I brought up consequences, and choices.

We talked about all of that, and I told her it has to stop.

She said drinking gives her something to do.

I told her if she wants something to do, call me – and we’ll go hang out, or play pool, or do something constructive. She cried more and told me that everyone is older than her and since she’s so young, she feels pressured to drink, to which – I brought up choices again and how pressure = choices.

How choices = rewards or consequences.

Her uncle is in our facility as well, so she asked if we could find him that day.

We ended up going back down to the lobby and when we got there – her uncle was there.

He was angry and asked why she keeps getting so drunk, but he took her back to his room, so he could watch over her for a few hours.

As much fun as I have working there – as much as I joke around and enjoy some of my interactions with our tenants / residents – we do have those sad moments. Those serious moments. Those times we have to be tough and tell it like it is.

Jay-Lee said she’d like to hang out with me instead of getting drunk, but she doesn’t even have my phone number.

I told her I’d give it to her when she sobers up.

But then – we have those funny moments as well…………..

****

Julian is our newest resident.

He moved in recently, and before that – he came to visit his girlfriend who also lives in the facility, so he would always give me shit (in a good way), and just bother me or joke with me.

He’s pretty cool.

I just found out he was approved to move in a week ago, and he says, “Now I’ll be here to bother you all the time!”. I playfully rolled my eyes, and told him sarcastically, “Oh joy!”.

Yesterday when he moved in – I was about to eat lunch and as I was sitting at the desk, he snuck up on me and scared the hell out of me. I told him from now on, I’m waking him up at 7 AM – on the dot – banging on his door like I’m the police.

I told him I’m going to get on his nerves now.

He laughed and told me, “Don’t do that!”.

Oh no, sir! Fair game now. haha.

No, I wouldn’t do that, but it was funny telling him I would.

******

JoJo.

My JoJo.

We have a woman there who I’ve gotten so close to, and she’ll come down often to chat with me and keep me company.

I’m so proud of Jojo because even when the temptations of this world and being an addict – tempt her to go back, she refuses and she’s been clean for so long now. Jojo is such a strong woman, and I admire her for her strength to keep moving forward and not give in to temptation – no matter what life throws her way.

JoJo makes me feel so bad sometimes, because if I’m leaving – she’ll ask what I’m going to do tonight, what I’m making for dinner, or she’ll say, “Take me with you”. I remember one time I told her we’d have to bring her over for dinner one day, and she took it to the – “Yeah, we’ll have a sleepover party”. 🤣Wait girl – nobody said anything about a sleepover. lol.

She’s awesome though, and I love talking to her.

A few days ago, as I was walking through the parking lot after my shift – and going to my car, she screamed my name out of her 2nd floor window. She yelled, “Take me with you!”. I yelled back, “Come on! Jump out of the window. I’ll sneak you into the car!”.

Jojo always wants to come with me when I’m leaving or tells me she just wants to get out of there for a while, and I know those are her cute little hints for an invitation to go anywhere!

I promised her that when I go to Hobby Lobby to put together something for my daughter I want to give her for graduation – I’d take her with. So, a few days ago, she asked me if I did that thing for my daughter’s graduation yet. I smiled and told her, “No, but I did promise you that when I go – you’re coming with me!”. I then told her that she has to stop me from buying the entire store though, and she made me laugh when she said, “Oh hell! I’ll be shopping with you. You can’t trust me to stop you!”. 😁

Jojo makes me giggle, especially the faces she makes when she sees someone she doesn’t like.

She’ll sit there looking them up and down and I have to pray that Jojo behaves herself, and doesn’t say anything, but she’s usually pretty polite unless someone provokes her.

Truth is…

When I move out of this town and hopefully state – I’m going to miss the hell out of these people and one day – I hope to come back and visit.

Minnesota is a beautiful vacation spot, but not a great place to live if you’re from a bigger city originally.

*****

Moving.

We have two months until we move.

I just ordered more moving boxes, and we’re starting to fully pack up, bring everything to the living room and stacking stuff against walls to prepare.

I know eventually – I’ll have to probably make a list of places I want to go look at, head out to Wisconsin or IL. and make my choice on our new place. I know I’ll have to rent the U-Haul and load it up on that last day that we’re here.

The new owners are more than happy to give me my deposit back the same day we leave – instead of making me wait weeks for it like some have to – when they leave this place.

I’m scared. I’m excited for our new adventure. I’m worried and nervous, and also a little annoyed.

Moving is so stressful, and it was so easy to move to Minnesota, but it seems like it’s such a task to move back.

I think I’ll feel better once we’re in our new place unpacking, and we can finally breath again – knowing we have more job opportunities, we’re close to friends and family, we don’t have to drive miles or hours to see dentists, doctors, or just to do something fun, and – when we’re back near civilization.

These 6 years living in a small town – next to a farm where we can open the windows and hear the cows – has been different, exciting and fun at times – but – there’s not really a lot to do, and there’s been so many times I’ve felt lonely – because we don’t have anyone out here.

4th of July’s – are so hard on me, because in IL. people start shooting of fireworks a week before it.

I miss that!!!!

The day of – they’re shooting off M-80’s at 5 AM – and the fireworks – the BBQs, the fun – it all goes from 5 AM until 3 AM or later – the next day.

Out here in this small town – crickets and frogs. Yep. That’s what we’ve heard on the 4th of July. Crickets and frogs.

It’s so dead out here.

So, while I wasn’t sure if we were going to move or even be able to move – maybe this is God’s way of pushing us to something new, telling us HIS PLANS – and making good things happen.

Life doesn’t go the way we plan it sometimes, and I’ve always been told that we don’t get to do what we want. Sometimes, God has his own plans, and he’ll make life uncomfortable for a little bit – to see if you trust him or not. I do.

The next two months are going to be filled with graduation planning, moving planning, and – a busy schedule.

My loves.

I hope all of you have a beautiful week.

I plan to go have coffee tomorrow morning – with a great friend I made out here a few years ago.

My soul feels “lost” right now, and I have so much on my mind.

I always feel better sitting and talking to her over a cup of coffee, so she asked if we were still on for tomorrow, and absolutely! 💕

💕Shel💕

Change is good.

Change is good.

Shel R.Leave a comment

(The cute image above was adorably done by Dibujitos Cheverves) on Pinterest and reflects my need for sleep right now). ha.

So, I’ve mentioned a few days ago that our building has been sold.

I had no idea who the new landlords were until today.

It’s a married couple. A young married couple, and if I remember correctly – I met the husband a few months back when they came to look at the building and apartments, but I don’t remember meeting the wife. I could be wrong and he could just look like some other guy who came here to see the building, but if it’s the same guy I remember – I’ve met the husband.

They seem like a really sweet couple.

They seem like they’d make great landlords.

I was waiting for them today because the elderly woman who lives upstairs – told me that they were coming to give out information since they just took over ownership of the building.

I wanted to meet them. I wanted to talk to them about my lease.

My lease ends at the end of May, and I mentioned to my previously landlord – I’d probably be moving once my daughter graduates. He wasn’t going to renew the lease. He was going to find someone else to take over since I said I was moving.

However – we still haven’t found a place and things back home in IL. are highly expensive and overpriced right now. Gas is ridiculously overpriced, rent, etc. and as much as we want to move back home – I’ve been looking and looking and can’t find anything in the area we’d like to move to.

Parts of Wisconsin are great – but a lot of them are prone to them spinners – as I call them. The good old tornado.

I feel like maybe things aren’t working out as smoothly as I thought they would – because maybe we’re not supposed to move back to IL. or even close to it.

I wish heaven had a phone, so I could call God and ask what I’m supposed to do?! Get some answers from above.

I was watching the Chicago news about a teenage takeover last night in downtown Chicago where teens were acting wild, doing all sorts of goofy stuff, and taking over the streets.

I was watching the Chicago news this morning about teens on the Northside of Chicago (which is the better part of it) – breaking into cars and stealing airbags! AIRBAGS!!!! What in the world?!!!!!

My first thought when I saw the news today – was not only “WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR PARENTS?” – but also, “Maybe I don’t want to move back there as much as I think I do!”.

………..but anyway………..

I wanted to talk to the new landlords about possibly doing a month to month instead of me being stuck in another year-long lease at the end of this lease.

They didn’t knock on doors though or introduce themselves in person.

They left envelopes in everyone’s doors introducing themselves through a letter.

It asked tenants to download an app where we could pay rent, request repairs to be done, and communicate with them for anything else. The communication part – I’ll probably do tomorrow. It also said they require renter’s insurance (which actually isn’t expensive at all!). We are able to sign up right through the app or website.

I love the fact that we can pay rent online again because our last landlord had that – but after a few months, it was right back to sending him VENMO payments. He couldn’t keep up with the online payments – I guess. I love paying online and I just find it faster and easier than me having to send VENMO’s and messaging to ask if the rent was received.

When I looked online – it says my lease goes all the way until the end of May 2027 – but I don’t know if I want to be here that long, which is where the whole month to month thing comes into play. I don’t want to have to pay if I want to break my lease, and I need questions answered, so I’ll be getting ahold of the new owners.

Change is good, and I’m happy with this change.

Now, we all have to get used to the new landlords. They have to get used to us.

Hopefully it all goes well and works out.

So, they had us download this app – and I was on the app and the website – but neither one was letting me sign up – like the paper said we should be able to.

I laughed when the elderly woman upstairs and I – were messaging each other and she said her phone is so outdated – she needed to go get a new one just to download the app. She said I’d probably have to go upstairs and help her set everything up, and I totally have no issues doing that for her. ❤️ She’s my daughter’s English tutor in school actually, so we’ve gotten to know her pretty well.

As for this app –

I finally contacted support and found out the landlords have to send us an invite link – after they put us into the renter’s system online. I knew I wasn’t going crazy. I know damn well I’m great with computers and apps – so when I couldn’t figure out for 45 minutes – how to sign up – I was getting annoyed.

I messaged the husband because that’s the number on the letter everyone got, and he replied quickly saying he had the wrong email address for me, and his wife was sending me the link right now, and she did. I was able to sign up with no issues, deal with the whole renter’s insurance thing, and learn the new system for rent payments.

*****

Aside from that – my little dude is sick, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be making a walk-in clinic visit tomorrow night if he’s not better.

I picked up more hours at work to save more money to move.

I was interested in the Supervisor position at work like I said a few posts ago, and I wasn’t going to take it – but the money is really good, and I wanted the experience. I ended up messaging my boss and telling her that after doing some thinking, I’ll take it. She did tell me when I interviewed for it – that she has to interview a few others, and I understand.

I’m sure she wants someone with Supervisor experience, and if someone else gets it – I’m happy for them.

I found a new mechanic to work on my car. He’s a mobile mechanic and I see him all over Facebook in our local area, so I messaged him the other day and he was more than happy to come out by me and check everything out to see what’s really going on – after the last mechanic had me there 6 times and guessed much of it.

This mechanic has a lot of great reviews, but he charges $130 to come all the way to me, and I get that. That’s not too much, but I asked how much he’d charge if I went to him, and it’s $100. Hey – the guy has to make money, right?! So, I told him I’d go to him – both when he checks it out and figures out what’s wrong, and when he’s about to fix the issue. The real issue – and not just guessing like the other one.

I still wish I would have thought about the mechanic I know back home when I was out there a few weeks ago. I’m sure he could have easily figured it out and fixed it for me.

Other than that –

I miss family. I miss friends back home. I miss familiar places. I miss good authentic food. I miss Tony’s. For those who had never been in a Tony’s store – you have no idea what you’re missing!

They have everything!

My mind is all over the place tonight. I’m just rambling right now.

I wish I could find the key to my treadmill to get a workout in before I go to bed.

I’ve been stressed and I could use something to burn this energy.

If it wasn’t so damn dark outside right now and I wasn’t afraid of all the wild-life we have out here – I’d go for a late-night jog. Hell, maybe I need to make more friends around here and call someone to tell them to pick me up for a late-night drive through these country roads.

If I’m stuck here another year – I may just have to make some more friends out here.

I’ve avoided interacting with people out here because it’s a really small town. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone is in each other’s business and gossips so much, and that’s just not my thing. So, I keep to myself, but I’m so down to meet new people and make new friends if I’m stuck here for another year.

Yep. I’m rambling about nothing and everything at the same time.

So, I’m going to end it here and get some sleep.

I’m working tomorrow for my boss. She has a lot going on right now and I told her I’d pick up her shift tomorrow – plus – it’s more hours and money for me, so I don’t mind.

Have a beautiful night my loves. I hope to read all of your wonderful posts tomorrow night and catch up with all of you.

❤️Shel❤️

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Best compliments ever received (WP writing prompt), almost promoted, and funnies at work.

Shel R.4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
View all responses

Answering today’s WP writing prompt, let me say that I giggled a bit when I read this question.

When I was much younger, blonde and a little thinner – I was in line one day at a Jewel – Osco in Chicago.

Damn, I miss those stores!

I was waiting in line for the girl to ring up all of my items and I was about to pay, when I turned to look behind me and some guy was looking at me. I felt weird, but I looked back again and he was still looking. I smiled politely, and I tried not to look at him a 3rd time.

One of the items I had – was on sale, so the cashier asked if I could give her just a second to run and see if she could find a sale code – to put it in the register for me. I thanked her and told her I’d wait. As I did, the guy behind me who kept looking at me – finally broke his silence.

He says, “Excuse me! Please forgive me for this, but has anyone ever told you that you look just like Shakira?”.

I smiled – because that’s one hell of an amazing compliment, and I told him No. Nobody has ever told me that, but I also thanked him for that.

It made me feel good.

He says, “So, stupid question. You’re not her, then? I was about to ask for a photo and an autograph”. He nervously laughed. I laughed with him and told him I could still be famous one day, but not that day. He told me how pretty I was, and I thanked him again and carried on with my day – smiling the whole way through it. 😁

For the record – I have never thought I looked like Shakira, but it was nice to hear.

She’s crazy beautiful, and I’m – cute, I guess. lol.

I will also say that was a long time ago, and – did I mention that I was much younger? I did. Okay.

Nobody would or could say that to me now. haha.

Shakira – in case you have no clue who she is.

And below – is me – way back in my younger, skinnier, blondie years.

I’ve also been told back then – that I looked like Amanda Bynes.

The way she looked back then – not now.

(Photo taken from Newsweek).

I never thought I looked like her, either, but again – it was nice to hear.

That poor Amanda these days, my heart breaks for her. She was gorgeous back then.

I think that hearing people thought I looked like both of them back in my younger days – was the biggest and best compliments I’ve ever received.

Another me (young, blonde and skinnier) photo – below:

And another….

(By the way, K.C.) – was an old nickname.

In Hawaii – my name is Kila. Pronounced – (Kee-La). C is for my middle name. So, some used to call me K.C.

Do I see any resemblance?

No – but it’s still the best compliments I’ve ever received. 💕

I miss my blonde hair. I miss being as skinny as I once was. I miss being young, dammit!

Anyway, I’m blessed to be here still for 43 – and this year – 44.

Every day the good Lord gives me – is a blessing.

That being said –

I worked my first overnight shift last night at the facility I work in.

It actually wasn’t bad.

During the night – different people would come out of their rooms for different things, or just to come down and chat, but I had no major issues and everyone behaved.

I came home so tired this morning, got my kids ready for school, took them, came back and showered – got ready for another day, and went right back to work.

One of our lead staff was demoted, so I asked my boss if I could take over her position and get promoted. My boss seemed so happy I asked and said she thinks I’d be a wonderful person to take over and that I’d be good for the job.

It comes with higher pay, benefits, more vacation days and other perks, but the only downside – is that my phone would be blowing up. I’d be a supervisor, so I’d be the one my co-workers would then call or send texts to if there’s trouble, if they need help or advice, if they can’t come in and I have to cover their shifts, if there’s any time off requests needed, time adjustments, and so on.

It’s a lot of responsibilities and while I don’t mind – the deal breaker – was me having to work 80 hours per paycheck mandatory – still do my weekends as I’m always on now, and then – BE ON CALL 24/7.

I would basically have no life. No time for myself or my kids. No time to do anything fun because I’d always be at work, dealing with things at work, covering shifts, or just handling calls and texts all day. If there’s an emergency where cops or medics have to come in, I’m dealing with that or going to the job site – no matter what time it is – to figure things out.

I’d be in charge of interviewing and hiring as well. I’d be in charge of deciding who needs to be fired.

I don’t want that hanging over my head.

I was so excited to go meet with my boss today and talk about taking the position – as we sat in the office that would be mine. That’s another thing that I loved. I’d get my own office and can decorate it however I want to.

Still – the thought of working SEVEN days a week and then being on call 24/7 on top of that – isn’t appealing to me. So, there are absolutely some downsides to the position as well.

I could give up my weekends if I wanted to and just do the 5 days a week, but then it also clashes with my kid’s school schedules – not to mention we’re probably moving soon if all goes well as I said before, so I’d feel bad taking the job, and leaving my boss high and dry to find someone totally new and train them in – once I leave.

So, as much as I was excited for a higher position, more pay and benefits, etc. I decided to pass on it.

My boss told me to take some paperwork home, read it over and think about it, but she was honest with me and told me if I didn’t jump on it and take it today, she’d have to keep interviewing for it, and I told her I totally understood. I let her know my concerns with the position, and that if I didn’t take it, I’d still be there for my shifts that I have now, I’d still do my job correctly, and I trust her to hire the best person for the job – who may be okay with all that extra stuff it comes with.

I may be stupid for passing it up because it’s a great opportunity but being a mother as well – I just don’t want to spend my life at work all the time. I enjoy spending time at home and with my kids as well. So, I feel like this position is something for those who have that time to be at work and be on call and go in whenever they are needed.

I am so grateful she thought of me, and that she thought so highly of me to want to give me this position.

She made me smile today when she told me that she watches me with everyone there and that even when I’ve had a bad day, or people are out of control and drunk there – acting stupid – she sees me smiling, joking with them, and handling every situation with love, compassion and grace and that’s what she’s looking for in a Supervisor. 💕

Hell, I’ve written about that lady “Daisy” that I’ve gotten so close to there.

The one who wreaks havoc and gives the place hell when she’s drunk – and how many problems we’ve all had with her. Well, this past week – one of our other lead staff walked up to me and tells me, “You’ve got a – way with Daisy”. She meant that I seem to be able to handle her little bad attitudes and her drunk rampages, and wild behavior, and that I can calm her down, or get her to listen to me.

I smiled and told this other lead staff that there are many times I can easily handle Daisy because I take no shit – and she’s not going to walk all over me when I’m there. I told her that there are many times when yes – Daisy will calm down and listen to me, but I’ve had my fair share of Daisy telling me to get the f*** out of her face, or her telling me to leave her the f*** alone, so it just depends.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

With the clients we work with that live in the facility – it’s all about gaining their trust, getting to know what works with each person individually and what doesn’t – especially if they’re on something or drunk, and knowing how to handle them. I’ve learned their personalities, and I match their personalities with my own – depending on the situations and that’s how I stay calm and handle things.

I would have loved that Supervisor position, and I also think I would have been great at it.

My co-workers would have known that they could message me or come to me for anything, and I’m always going to have their backs, but again – it’s just the schedule and the times – being on call all the time – and the fact that I would feel like I’m living at work – instead of putting time into my family – that made me decide the Supervisor position isn’t for me.

Decisions suck, and it’s hard when you really want something, but it doesn’t align with everything else you have going on in life, and family time.

I’ll still be at the same job, and if we move – it may only be for another month or so, but at least I know that my boss saw so many amazing things in me – that she tried to get me to take the Supervisor position, and I hope a future boss sees it as well.

If you want to laugh a bit with me – My little-itty-bitty – trouble-making Daisy – went to jail.

I’m not laughing that she’s in there. I miss her causing trouble around the place and it’s been boring since she’s been out of the building, but what did make me laugh – is that Monday when I worked – she was drunk and running her mouth to everyone, including my boss.

My boss gave her a lot of fair warnings to be quiet, be good and go back to her room, and she refused.

My boss threatened to call the cops for her disturbances, and Daisy still wouldn’t keep her mouth shut.

At one point, my boss walked away, and I begged Daisy to just go back to her room because my boss was really about to call the cops. My boss heard her yell, “I don’t give a f***! Call the cops. I don’t have any f***in’ warrants!”.

My boss sure the hell did call the cops, and I thought she was pretending at first when I sat next to her and she was talking to “the cops”, but when she got up and walked away – telling me to let her know when they were there, I realized she was so serious.

Daisy made me laugh when she saw the cops and all of a sudden – wanted to go back to her room.

They ended up coming in and trying to talk to her, but she got mouthy with them as well, and they weren’t having it. They already know her, so when the two of them stood on each side of her and grabbed her arms, they told her she’s under arrest and has warrants…..

I stood there wondering……………

DAISY!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to go visit her today, but you have to be on her approved list, and I can’t even get ahold of her to tell her to add me, but maybe tomorrow – I’ll see if I can figure it out.

My overnight shift last night was quiet, especially without Daisy there drunk – and I was up all night with different people coming out of their rooms to keep me busy or keep me company.

As soon as I got there, one of the young ladies asked me for a pregnancy test.

I can say a lot, but that’s not my place, and I just prayed she wasn’t pregnant because while I don’t judge anyone since none of us are perfect – she is not on the right path to have a baby. So, I handed her the test and told her to let me know, because if she was pregnant – I was still going to support her, do whatever I could for her and the baby, and just be someone she could come to if she needed someone to be there.

When she came downstairs at 5 AM this morning with her boyfriend – who also lives there – she held up the test and told me it was negative.

I asked if she was happy with that, and she said yes. So, I let her know I was happy as well.

I told her boyfriend to walk over to the FREE CONDOMS box we have at one of the desks – and grab a couple. I told him to start making it a habit to grab free condoms anytime he’s down there.

When he walked over to the tissue box and grabbed tissues, his girlfriend laughed so hard and asked what he planned to do with those. I joked and told him, “Hey! That works, too! No sex is one way to prevent pregnancy. Do you instead!”. I had them both laughing so much, and he thought for some reason – I told him to grab tissue.

THE TWO DON’T EVEN SOUNDS THE SAME.

CONDOMS. TISSUE. What?!!!!!!!

He stood there looking confused, and his girlfriend and I – couldn’t stop laughing.

I asked her if she was sure this is who she would want as her son or daughters’ father, and she laughed even harder. I went as far as to ask her boyfriend what “2 + 2” is, and when he stood there thinking about it – I was done. I lost it and laughed.

I volunteered to allow him to take the entire box of condoms upstairs. 🤣

This is why I love my job though.

I know I can be tough and firm when fights break out, or someone is beyond drunk and acting goofy, but I also know that I can be myself, joke around and have some good laughs with the people who live there.

Coffee was also my best friend last night – because I haven’t worked any overnight shifts – since I worked in the assisted living down the block a few years ago.

I came home after meeting with my boss – and I knocked out for a few hours.

I laugh because last night at 2 AM, I looked at the clock and realized if I were back in my 20’s – backyard parties would still be going, and I’d be hanging with many friends dancing, laughing, having a great time and now by 10 PM – I’m in bed, reading a book, writing (this is proof) – lol – or listening to music to try to fall asleep.

Still – like I said – I’m grateful for every day and every new year God allows me to see! 🤗

11 PM right now, and I’m going to bed.

I told you!

I shall catch up with all of you tomorrow morning.

Sending so much love and big hugs your way!

💕Shel💕

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

Shel R.6 Comments

I must apologize for my lack of writing lately.

I’ve been so busy.

Between searching for our new home, getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, and work – life has been kicking my ass.

I’ve also been helping several other teenagers with their work that many of them are behind on. (My daughter’s friends).

I want to see them all graduate and they’re all like my own kids. Many of them call me “Mom”, and have for years, so I don’t mind helping them. I want to see them walk across the stage, just like I can’t wait to see my daughter do so.

Letters went out a few weeks ago – after the Dean of students met with all of the Seniors and went over their credits and plans after high school. These letters either told parents that their students are not on track to graduation and need to make up credits, as well as the work they need to make up – or – parents got letters that their child *IS* on track to graduation, has their credits needed, or is close to it.

My daughter is one of those on track to graduate, and she has more credits than needed, but still needs 1/2 credit in Building trades – which she’ll get this semester, and one in English – which she’ll also get. So, she’s doing great and I am so proud!

Still, her friends that received letters that they needed credit recovery and are not on the path to graduation, I’ve offered my help and told my daughter, “Have them bring their binders of work or whatever they have to do – over to our house if they need help”.

I have a friend who told me she admires me because no matter what I have on my own plate or what I’m dealing with – no matter what I have on my mind – I’m still opening my home to these teenagers and offering a hot meal when they’re here, my help with their work, and rides from school and back home when they leave.

I just see it as something I have to do – to make sure none of my daughter’s friends are left behind, and I love when they come to me for help. They know I’m going to help if their parents can’t or won’t, and they know my home is safe, clean, and they’re allowed to grab snacks, pop, water – whatever they want, while getting the help they need. ❤️

Work:

Work has been hectic, insane, stressful, exhausting, busy and wild.

We have people coming and going. We have all kinds of things going on – some good and some not so good.

We have our people who drink and can’t handle their liquor, so they’re starting fights and making poor choices, or arguing with staff. We have people who are wild and out of control sometimes, and then – we have those who make us laugh and remind us why we love that job so much. 😊

This past weekend – my son and I were told about a fight that happened during the week, and when we watched the cameras, the fight was comical. It was between two men who live in the facility we work in, and the fight started in one of their rooms, and ended up in the hallway – where you could see them both just fall on the floor and lay there – exhausted and drunk.

My son and I played the cameras back and watched the whole fight.

One of my favorite things about that fight – is when ANOTHER guy was telling us about it this past weekend, and he said he had to go “help break up the fight”. I almost laughed right in his face, but I held it back because again – WE WATCHED THE CAMERAS and this other guy was nowhere in those videos breaking up anything. The fight broke up on its own when they wore themselves out and both dropped to the floor to rest but listen – if this other guy wanted us to think he broke up the fight – more power to him.

Another thing we laughed at this weekend – was when one of our other male residents at the facility – said he’s moving out at the end of the month and asked if I’d sign his boobs.

At first – I looked at him like:

Then, he pulled out ceramic boobs that had a bikini top on them, and he asked me again.

He said he wants everyone to sign his boobs before he leaves. 🤣

I told him I’d be more than happy to sign. I grabbed them and wrote, “Good luck! Love, Shel” – with a heart.

He was so happy and thanked me. My son also signed and I tried to help him out by asking others if they’ve signed his boobs yet, and I got the same funny look – that I had on my face when he first asked me, but others laughed – just like I did – when he explained. ha.

He’s the same man who always asks me if I’ll dip my finger in his food before he eats it, and I never know if he’s serious or just joking – and no, I’ve never done it! lol. I’m a good sport about it and I’ll laugh, but I always wonder if he’s serious. No, I’ll never do it – even if he is!

He’s such a sweetheart though. I’m going to miss his silliness when he leaves.

So, I joked with him and made him laugh when I handed his ceramic boobs back – and told him, “Now I can cross SIGNING BOOBS – off my bucket list!”.

Last time I wrote – I also talked about “Daisy”. That feisty little elderly woman who gives a lot of problems sometimes, but over the past few weeks, I’ve shown her nothing but love, compassion, honesty, and respect – and believe me when I tell you – that if you show that to the people in this facility – they usually show it right back and they know who truly cares about them – and who is just there for a paycheck.

They can tell!

I’ve gotten close to Daisy over the last few weeks, and while others see her as a problem or troublemaker, I see her as someone who is hurting, who has been hurt in the past, who has a lot to say and nobody to listen, and who just wants that love and compassion that my son and I show her when we’re there.

She’s a great person if you really get to know her. Not a lot of our staff take the time to show her the love, care, compassion and respect that we have, and I hate to say it – but if they did – they’d change their perspectives about her.

This morning, I was dealing with one issue that was going on – on the 2nd floor, and when I walked up the stairs – as I passed Daisy’s room, I heard her yelling and screaming, so I made a mental note to stop by there as soon as I handled this other situation going on.

When I did, Daisy was grateful to see me, told me she hurt her leg really bad, and needed help putting her shoe on. All day today, I’ve checked on Daisy – did whatever I could for her – and locked up our office a few times – to go take care of Daisy.

Daisy has started calling me, “My girl”. It’s too cute! She’ll say, “How are you doing today, my girl?”, “I’ll see you later, my girl!”.

Today when I was leaving work, she was outside and she yelled, “I love you, my girl. Thank you for everything you do and did for me, Shel”. She never walks away from me now or hangs up if she calls the office – without telling me, “Love you, my girl!”.

I just wish our other staff would take the time to get to really know her, understand her, and communicate with her – like we have.

They see a troublemaker. A problem. A headache. I see an aunt figure. A grandma figure. A lady who just wants to be cared about. ❤️

I have learned that if she is screaming, yelling, cursing or angry about someone – I’m the one who can always get her to smile, calm her down, joke with her – and get her to behave. (At least until my shift is over). lol. We have an understanding, and I think as mothers – she and I share grief because she lost her older son and she shared that story with me, and I shared the story of losing my oldest daughter.

I know that pain!

She’s native, so she found out I want to learn the language and told me I need to come hang out with her when I’m not working.

In fact, everyone in the facility loves my son and I so much – and the love and care we show them – that we’ve been offered to go hang out with a few of them.

Just yesterday when we were almost off of work – one of them called the office and she had a few others in the room with her. They wanted us to come hang out in there when we clocked out. As much as we would have loved to kick back and chill with them – it’s against policy and we had to keep it professional, so we just let them know one of our lead staff was coming in, and we couldn’t do that, but we thanked her and others for the offer.

We’ve been told by many of them that we’re two of the best employees the facility has, and a few of them have loved the fact that no matter what we have on our minds, what’s going on in our personal lives, or how we feel any day we’re at work – we always go in with a smile, use humor to handle situations, and joke around with all of them.

They enjoy that. Even on the days when I work alone and it gets crazy, busy and wild – I joke and smile, because it means a lot to them.

I just found out on yesterday morning – that one of the female residents wanted me to go to a Drag show with her – that had free food and drinks, or promotions going on. She said by the time she came down to invite me to go with her, my shift was over and I was gone. She said she wanted to ask the 2nd shift if they have my phone number, but she felt awkward and didn’t know the facilities rules about that.

She’s one of our coolest residents, and so – I wrote down my number and handed it to her.

Was I supposed to? Probably not, but I think it’s all about knowing who you can trust and know that they won’t cross any boundaries, and who you know you can absolutely NOT give that kind of information to.

I love this job. I’ve said it many times. I love our residents.

Some of them even cook or bake for us. 😁There’s one that has made us brownies and cookies on more than one occasion, and she’ll bring those down for us. Daisy made us fry bread one day, and that was amazing. I’ve had a resident make me a dreamcatcher, and another one who drew me a photo and plans to make me a few Eagle drawings soon.

Again, it’s all about how you treat them because once they know you really do care and this isn’t just for a paycheck – they’re going to look out for you and love you / respect you right back!

I giggled today when Daisy asked me when I’d be back, and I told her I don’t work again until Saturday. She rolled her eyes and told me that’s way too long. I told her I’d be back if someone asked me to cover their shift.

One thing I’ve also learned at this job – is that when something goes down – you have to know how to personally handle each and every person differently, and what works or what doesn’t with each one. We’ve learned that and there’s some people there that my son handles if he’s there, and there’s some people that communicate better with me and I’ll tell him, “I got this!”. The days when I’m alone at work – and it’s just me – I try to handle each situation calmly, and firmly – so they know I’m not messing around, but I also care very much.

I think with a lot of them being addicts or previous addicts, most of them drunk on most days, and dealing with some who are criminals, we always have to be careful, but knowing them personally – and having them respect us – helps us – or at least me – know that sometimes – we have to meet them where they are and talk to them – how they’ll understand.

One couple in the facility recently broke up and the lady asked me to watch her collect her things from her ex-boyfriend’s room. I went upstairs to watch, and I stood in the doorway while she grabbed her things. Her ex-boyfriend wasn’t in there, and I had my back turned – when I heard him come up behind me and yell – TO ME -, “What the F*** are you doing in my room?”. He likes to talk to her like that, and it aggravates many of us, but we try not to say anything. So, I turned to face him and MET HIM ON HIS LEVEL!

I matched his energy.

I calmly – but firmly said, “What the f*** are you doing talking to me like that?”. The look of surprise on his face was priceless, and he lowered his tone. I told him she was getting her things, and he didn’t have much to say after that.

I also joked that I have one foot in his room, and one foot in the hallway, so technically – I’m not really IN his room. He stayed quiet for the most part – the rest of the time she was getting her stuff. Some of them – you just have to meet them on their level and let them know you’re not the one to mess with, and they get it. A lot of them will show respect once they learn they can’t do whatever they want, and if they show us respect, we give it right back – and vice versa.

Could he have knocked me on my ass if he wanted to? Most likely, but I wasn’t going to go down easy, and if I thought he was going to do anything, I may have thought twice, but I know him. I’ve gotten to learn that he’s also hurting and he’s been through a lot, and he needs someone to tell it like it is.

SO, work has been wild the last week or two, and now that the weather is semi getting nicer a bit, it’s going to get even crazier at work, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It keeps us on our toes, and keeps us busy, so time goes by faster.

I have a different approach to different people and situations there, but it works every time. I can joke around and make you laugh, so you communicate with me and do what I’m asking of you or to calm you down, or – I can be tough and firm – but either way, however I approach things – they usually work. I know who I have to be tough and firm with, and those that I can joke with to make a situation go away.

I’m tired.

This job is draining, but still – I’m grateful for it. T

The moving thing …………………..

Don’t even get me started.

I’m so tired of looking for our new place.

I’ve found a few different places I loved, and the internet is full of scams.

I’ve emailed properties – only to get someone message me back and say, “I’m currently in Texas on business, but if you want to send me the deposit, I can show you the house when I get back in two weeks”, blah. blah. blah. I’ve gotten a few of those from people in different states – and then I look up the property on Zillow, and it shows that it’s for sale, or it’s off the marker and an actual family lives there.

It always makes me wonder if they’re aware that people are putting their properties online and scamming other people with it.

I’d never send money online.

I watched a video of some poor girl who was able to go see a house for rent, get the code to the lockbox for the key, and go in to tour the home, so she thought everything was legit – only to send the landlord $5,000 for a few months of rent upfront, and the home was for sale. It wasn’t being rented and this girl just got scammed out of all that money – from some “out of state” landlord claiming he’d be back soon to meet her.

It’s so scary with all of the scams going on now.

If I do find a legit listing – either they don’t allow pets, or it’s a really nice place – but the bedrooms are the size of a small bathroom. If all looks good, I don’t like the kitchen or there’s very little counter and cabinet space, or if a place is perfect – something always throws me off.

Maybe I’m being too picky!

So, I haven’t found the perfect place yet. I know I have to really start looking and going to take a look in person because I want to have something locked and secured by May 1st, but it’s just been a headache. I know damn well I don’t want to stay here in Minnesota, but I also know traveling to see other places is going to be a migraine as well.

I plan to have a list of places to look at, and appointments set before I go anywhere, and still – I’m stalling to pack. I’m stalling to keep looking, and I know I really have to.

I’ve been doing that almost every day – besides work, helping teens get work done, and getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, so it’s all been slamming me, and I haven’t had time to write.

Loves….

I miss you all so much.

I’ll catch up tomorrow.

My laptop battery is dying, and I have to be up early.

Sweet dreams.

❤️Shel❤️

Stranger photo sessions, and rewards of hard work and a little Love.

Stranger photo sessions, and rewards of hard work and a little Love.

Shel R.1 Comment

Loves!

Just a little fun thought…………………..

If you want to meet someone special and you’re ready to fall in love, but don’t want to do the bar or club scene – or the dating apps thing – I just saw the cutest way to meet someone.

There’s a photographer that allows you to fill out applications for a photo session WITH A STRANGER, and she will literally pair up whoever she thinks is best together. You don’t see each other until the day of the photo shoot, and she’ll put you back-to-back, you’ll turn around at the same time – and face each other.

I’ve seen so many of her photography sessions where people really look like they’ve been dating forever now, and they’re real couples, but they’re not. They just met the day of…………

How cute is that?!!!!!!

I think it’s a fun way to meet someone, and she does say on her videos that some of her clients are actually dating now and have become couples from her sessions – where they started out as strangers. 🤗

If you’re open to it – why not give it a try?!

Check her out on TIKTOK.

@brooke.three.photo

No, she did NOT pay me to promote her.

I just thought this was totally adorable and it’s a new way to meet your person – possibly! If not, you at least – get a fun photoshoot out of it and have a good time. I mean, if I met someone like that – it would be a really fun story to tell people – if we became a couple afterwards, and if not – I’d hang the pictures from the session up over my computer desk and when people ask, “Who is he?”, I’d have fun smiling and saying, “I have NO CLUE! He was a one-time deal”. People would wonder, and I’d have fun letting them. lol.

Book your session and if you meet someone special and fall in love – if you end up with your photo stranger – YOU’RE WELCOME! ha.

*****

On to other things………….

My job.

It can get overwhelming sometimes.

It can get stressful sometimes.

It can get scary sometimes.

It can get dangerous sometimes.

However – it can be fun.

It can be rewarding.

It can be life changing.

It can be exciting.

It can be interesting.

It can be amazing.

I love it every moment of it. No matter what each day brings, and each day always bring something new.

I love it, no matter what happens.

One thing I love the most about it – is knowing that I’m changing lives and knowing that the people in the facility I work in – trust me, love me, and know that they can count on me to care.

They’ve been through a lot in their lives. A lot of them are addicts, previous addicts, alcoholics, criminals, felons, and have been through hell and back. A lot of them have been betrayed, lied to, ignored by society, treated like they’re nothing – so they don’t trust a lot of people anymore. They have problems, and issues. Many of them have mental health issues, and no respect for authority, so if you don’t earn their respect and trust – if they feel like you don’t give a damn about them – you’re not going to like how they act towards you.

But …..if you show you love them, you care about them, you’re there for them, they can trust you, and you respect them ….

If you make them laugh, joke with them, make them enjoy you being there – you’re going to see how real they are. How cool they are. How sweet they can be. How much they respect you right back.

It’s all about building rapport with them.

I’d like to say that my son and I have done that since we started working in this facility, and that we have a pretty great relationship with most of the tenants who live in this facility.

It makes us feel good, and several times now – many of them have come up to us and told us that we are their favorite staff members there.

Many of them look for us, and when they see my car pull up, they come down or out of their rooms just to say hello to us and chat.

It makes us feel good knowing we’re making a difference and they like seeing us at work.

I am totally in love with my job and the work I do there – for the following reasons:

Last week, my son and I were getting off of our shift and one of our female tenants called downstairs to the front office just to tell us goodbye. She said she knew we leave at 3 PM and wanted to say bye before we left. She told us to have a great evening, and she can’t wait until we come back.

Right after her, a male tenant called down to the front office to tell us to have a great night, and said he wanted to catch us before we left because he loves us and enjoys us being there.

We laughed a bit when one of our co-workers who had just come onto the 2nd shift – looked at us, and said, “Whoa! You guys get two calls just saying goodbye and have a good night, and I haven’t gotten any?”. It’s a good feeling when our tenants acknowledge us and show their love for us because it makes us feel like we’re doing something right. 💕 I do know though – that this co-worker who said what she said – is loved there as well, even if she hasn’t gotten any calls like we did. So, I hope she doesn’t feel bad about it.

As we were leaving, another lady sitting in the lobby – told us to hurry back.

So –

We have this guy who lives in the facility – that I’ll call “G”. G likes to draw and he’s so damn good at it.

Some of his drawings are hung up around the facility. He draws native things. He draws beautiful Eagles and backgrounds, and so many other pictures.

A few different staff members have gotten amazing photos that “G” drew for them, and a few months ago – I mentioned that I was going to tell “G” that I wanted a photo. My son laughed and joked about it and he told me, “You can’t just tell him you want a photo. He has to genuinely like you and WANT to give you one of his drawings and photos”. I agreed with my son and decided to just wait it out and see if “G” gave me one on his own.

He always comes to say hi to us when we’re there and joke around with us. He’s a great guy.

When he came down last week to say hello, he showed me a beautiful photo of two Eagles he drew and I absolutely loved it. I thought he was going to give it to me, but he told me it was for another co-worker of mine and asked when she’d be in. I wasn’t too upset because she’s an older lady and she needs and deserves some good cheer, so I knew it would make her happy. I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t for me, and when he went back up to his room, my son laughed that day and joked with me – telling me, “Awe! Are you okay? You really thought that was for you, didn’t you?!”. 🥺🤣

I told him I was a little salty because – yes, I did think that.

Well, we were working this weekend.

Sundays are usually laid-back and chill. Not a lot is going on, so after breakfast, many of our tenants went back to their rooms, and all was quiet and boring.

I decided to print out a coloring page because that’s how bored we were, and my son printed out a few of his own he liked.

Yes, we sat there and colored for a few hours.

As I was coloring my first coloring page – (which was a few 90’s trolls’ dolls) – one of our tenants came out of her room, saw me coloring it, and told me how much she loves how it was coming out. I thanked her. She asked what I was going to do with it when I was done.

I told her I wasn’t sure, and I tried to change the subject because I knew where she was about to go with her question.

My plan was to take the page home because I collect those 90’s trolls – and I was going to frame the page I colored and hang it above my computer desk – where all my trolls are, but then – my plans were diverted. This woman smiled and told me, “I’d like to have it if that’s okay. When you’re done, you can sign it and give it to me if you don’t mind”.

I ended up finishing it, signing it, writing on the bottom “Always remember me”, and giving it to her when I saw her later in the day.

She was so excited, she went and asked our nurse for a frame when our nurse stopped by for a little bit.

She got her frame, came and showed me that she nicely framed it, and said she was going to hang it up in her room.

Listen.

I really wanted that picture I colored, but if it made her as happy as it did – I felt good about giving it to her.

I could have colored another one for myself, but by then – I was over that picture and printed out a new one for myself.

I ended up coloring the one below – to take home and frame. I was going to print out a quote that said, “We’re looking at each other a little too hard to just be friends”, and tape it to the top – to frame it all later in the day.

The hearts in her hair – I did that. I got creative with it. 🤗

This colored picture didn’t come home with me, either.

“G” came down to talk for a bit, and he showed me a photo he drew.

I loved it!!!

It reminded me of my dad because my dad liked country western stuff, things from Texas for some reason, and bulls. My dad loved Rodeo stuff as well, and I have one of his old belt buckles somewhere – that has a bull on it. My mom gave it to me when he passed because I love Rodeos and all that country western stuff – even though I’m a city gal.

So, when “G” showed me this photo –

I wanted it!

It looked like something from Texas. ha. I mean – it also looked like the belt buckle I have.

Like my son says though – “You can’t just ask G for a photo. He has to WANT to give you one!”.

I told him I love it, and how nice it is, and guess what?

“G” – GAVE IT TO ME!!!!! He told me it’s for me.

I was so excited to finally get a “G” photo. My son laughed at my excitement and asked if I thought I was special now that I have one.

YES, I DO! 🤗

It also makes me feel appreciated, and that they love me – just as much as I love them.

I ended up giving the 2nd page I colored of trolls – to “G” to thank him for the drawing he gave me.

My son made me smile when he told me, “I know you didn’t want to give up your trolls coloring page the first time, but you did. So, I guess you can consider that drawing G gave you, God’s way of letting good Karma come back around to you!”. 💕

Good Karma came around twice on Sunday because a while later, a woman I’ll call “Marie” – who makes and sometimes sells Dreamcatchers – came down to the office. She told me she made me something and wants me to have it.

She handed me this:

I absolutely love this as well.

I was so happy Sunday, and this is why I do what I do, and love the people at this facility.

If you respect them, show them love, show you care, show that you have time for them and what they’re going through – they’re going to show you love right back.

So, while this job can get dangerous and crazy – it also comes with rewards, and things like these – that make it worth it.

Fun fact: (not really fun, but me being sarcastic):

We just got a notification from our big boss in our work group chat that gives us instructions on what to do if ICE shows up at our facility.

It’s been said that our governor is cooperating with ICE and Mr. Trump now – to turn over all illegal criminals, and while I don’t know if we have any immigrants in our facility, I will say that it’s scary dealing with ICE at all.

I think here in Minnesota – this has all gotten way out of control, and with people being murdered and hurt in protests – I don’t think anyone is “safe” from it, but I felt comfortable knowing ICE and protests were 4 hours away, and not in our area. Has ICE been in our area before? Yes. Not a lot though, and they did what they had to do and got out. Has ICE showed up at work before? No. So, the thought that it could happen – is a little wild, but all we can do is pray that it is all peaceful if and when they do.

That being said, I have nothing else to write.

My daughter just called from school – to ask if one of her friends could come over, so they can work on a presentation together that’s due Thursday.

While I wanted to say “no”, and maybe tomorrow – she told me they need to get this done, so I said yes, and now – I’m figuring out what to make for dinner, because I’m guessing her friend will stay for dinner. I don’t mind. I’m just a little tired, and that means I have to drive the friend home later.

It’s so cold outside, and once I get in my house after picking up the kids from school, I like to stay there! 🥶

Still, I am happy her and her friend are being responsible and working on whatever they have due.

Love you.

Stay warm.

💕Shel💕

Back in 1982 and the Pros and cons of work recently.

Back in 1982 and the Pros and cons of work recently.

Shel R.14 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Share what you know about the year you were born.
View all responses

I haven’t done one of these WP prompts for a while, so here we go.

I will honestly say I don’t know much about the year I was born – except that all of my family was all still alive, healthy and so close. That has since changed, many of have passed, and family no longer gets together like they used to.

So, I had to look up some fun facts, wild history events, etc. that happened in 1982 – (the year I was born), and found these interesting facts.

I had no idea Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne were born in the same year, but that was interesting to learn.

I listen to Nicki here and there, but I’m a huge fan of Lil Wayne and his songs. (Especially his song MIRROR).

Those popular songs from 1982 – are all still amazing today. Physical, Survivor, I love Rock ‘N Roll – they all still play on the radio, and my grandma Ann LOVED Katherine Hepburn, so it was nice reading all of this.

Reading what things costs back when I was born – had me shocked. Everything was so cheap.

I still owe $10,000 on my car, so to see that a car back then – fully cost $9,903 – makes me wonder what the hell happened that prices of new cars these days are $30,000 + if you want a BRAND new one in most places.

Mine was $30,000 – and I realize now that I could have gotten something bigger and a better, but I still love my car. It’s crazy expensive for no reason though. To think that I would have had it paid off by now if it were 1982 – blows my mind.

A house was $83,000 + ….and now, good houses are anywhere from $279,000 and up.

I’m just throwing average numbers out there, but houses are NOT cheap anymore.

Groceries have gone up like crazy since then.

Gas is up.

It’s sad to see how much times have changed. Even the music now – compared to 1982 – is sad.

I do giggle when I see that M*A*S*H. was one of the most popular T.V shows back then, because my mother hated that show, so whenever she watched her programs and that came on, we knew it was time to turn the T.V. off and do something else. My grandma watched that show and it was boring. However, my grandma LOVED the show DALLAS as well.

Michael Jackson released (Thriller), and E.T. became a popular movie.

I wanted to know more about what happened in 1982 because now I was curious, and I found this video.

That’s all I have.

There’s some history for you.

I could sit here and do more research, but I have to eventually get ready to take the kids to school and get to work. 😊

Today is the last day of school for the kids, and then Winter break starts.

I can’t believe we’re two days away from Christmas – which reminds me to order everything for Christmas dinner today.

I’m still shopping for gifts from “Santa” for the little guy, and stocking stuffers for the kids, and I’ll finally be finished. Of course, you know darn good and well that I plan to get myself a bottle of wine, and enjoy the last gift wrapped tomorrow night. I’m off work tomorrow and Christmas day, thankfully!

Yesterday, we took gifts to Elijah’s teachers, his Kindergarten teacher from many years ago, and his 2nd grade teacher. I mentioned that his 1st grade teacher moved out of state, but his past teachers loved his gifts, and they were so happy. Elijah was so happy to give gifts. He’s like me. He enjoys seeing people happy. ❤️

My car goes in for service today, and I’m praying it’s just a simple fix.

I think that’s all the life updates I have.

🙄

At work – we lost a woman I became close to. She was an alcoholic, and she knew her liver was failing, but she continued to drink. She was one of the tenants at the facility I work in.

I remember when I first met her. I’ll call her “Shannon”.

She was feisty. She was playful and fun, and she put her fists up acting like she was ready to fight.

We laughed about, and ever since that day a few months ago – I always called her “my homegirl”, or “my girl”. I’d tell her boyfriend – (who also lives in the facility) – not to come downstairs without my girl. So, he’d go back and get her. We used to make each other laugh and she was such a sweet firecracker. She didn’t take no shit.

We do portions at work – for some of the tenants – where we give small bits of alcohol, so they don’t deal with the withdrawals, and there was one time I had to deny her the portion she was supposed to get because when I breathalyzed her, she was over her limit. She made me giggle when she told me, “I don’t care! I got Vodka in my room”, and she strolled away, so me denying her – didn’t matter, but I knew at least – I was doing my job.

She was spunky, usually smiling or joking around, and happy.

I never expected that a few weeks ago, I’d be taking her to the hospital because she wasn’t doing well, and we’d have our very last conversation.

On the way to the hospital, we were talking and she said something about me having an accent.

I didn’t hear her, so I asked, “I have an accent?”. I knew she said something about one, but I didn’t know what. She yelled and replied with, “YOU DO! I SAID YOU DO HAVE AN ACCENT!”. And then – she apologized for yelling it and said she’s just in a lot of pain.

She ended up being released from the hospital and coming back to the facility about 2 weeks ago and she was so angry when she said her boyfriend offered her a drink. She denied it, because she didn’t want to die. She knew it was getting serious, and the next day after her release – she was right back in the hospital for the very last time.

Her boyfriend has been walking the halls in the facility, sitting at the front by the office, or coming down just to occupy his time, get his mind of her, and kept asking if she was going to be okay. Sunday, he came up to me and asked, “She’ll get better, right?”. I knew what I SHOULD have said, but my heart broke for him and I told him, “I’m not sure. All I can tell you is that she probably won’t be back here”. He said she has a lot of dreamcatchers, and he’d like his favorite one out of her room if that’s the case, so he could remember her. I asked our lead staff if we can do that for him, and I was given permission.

My son works with me on the weekends, so he went and made sure that on Sunday, her boyfriend was able to take his favorite dreamcatcher. I also asked our nurse if she could make him a copy of Shannon’s picture from her medication box, and the nurse was all for it. 💕🥺

Last night, one of my co-workers called me and said she’s helping our boss make phone calls.

I thought I was in trouble for something, but she told me she just wanted to let me know that “Shannon passed”.

I asked if her boyfriend knew yet, and she said after phone calls, she’ll be on her way to let him know.

We’ve been dragging it out for so long and not wanting to tell him the full extent of what we knew about her, and we tried to just ease his mind and tell him very little – but yesterday – we had to fully tell him like it is, and our nurse talked to him, told him the truth, and let him go to the hospital to say his goodbyes.

This shit is never easy, especially when you work in a facility or setting where you get to know everyone, get close to people, learn their stories, know they’ve had hard lives, and then see them go through things like this – or pass.

Last night when I found out, I sat in my bedroom and shed a few tears, and then whispered, “Fly high my girl!”.

I laugh – imagining her meeting God the same way she was the day I first met her – with her fists up, pretending to want to fight and saying, “Let’s go!”. lol. Just a little humor in this dark world – where we’ll all have our day eventually.

I pray for her family. I pray for her boyfriend who has been so lost without her. I pray for my co-workers who knew her much longer than I have, and for all those who loved her.

*****

Work is so rewarding, and I love my job, but it can also be stressful and sad at times.

Saturday, my son told me one of our other tenants was on the phone and she was in tears.

I found out one of her family members passed.

As she made arrangements to go with family for a few days, she sat and waited for hours for them to come and get her and her anxiety was through the roof. When she was leaving, I opened my arms to give her a big hug. She laughed when she said she smelled like shit because she hasn’t showered yet. I told her in a funny way, “I don’t give a damn! Come give me a hug Stinky butt!”. We hugged so tight and I asked her to please take care of herself and be good while she’s gone.

I know it’s so easy for these amazing men and women to relapse when times are tough like this, or to do something stupid they may regret because they’re not fully thinking, and I hate the times I have to watch them go through things that life throws at them – when they’re already dealing with the choices they’ve made and the positions they’re in now. 💔

On the plus side – when I can make them smile, laugh, or feel like someone cares – that makes me feel good, and I love doing what I can for them.

One of the women there told me that her cat was out of food, and I know she didn’t want to tell anyone or burden anyone with it, so she kept coming to the office to get some of our Chicken packs. I went and got her cat some treats and food, and we both laughed so much when she said treats are like a drug to that cat and I asked if this means I’m her cats “drug dealer now”.

Another woman I’ve gotten close to – keeps asking for this one Maroon Puma hoodie I have because she loves it so much. I joke with her and tell her she’s not getting my hoodie, and I love it, too! Yesterday at work, I had a piece of paper that fell into my sleeve, so I took my arm out of the sleeve to shake it out and she was standing by me. She got happy and thought I was going to take the hoodie off and give it to her. 🤣 This is the second time I’ve worn it there and she tried to get it.

I love the hoodie, but today – when I go in – I am going to hand it over to her.

It’s the little things, and if I can put a smile on their faces, I’ll do what I can. If it makes their day a little brighter, I’m all for it.

I’m going to miss that hoodie! 😶 Still, her happiness will be worth it.

This is why I say Kindness is so important.

I’d love to sit here and write more, but it’s time to make sure the kids are ready for school and for me to get ready for work.

Pray that my car issues is a simple fix – as my son will be dropping me off at work and taking my car in, and that Christmas hurries up because I’m almost ready to get it over with. ha.

Love ya!

💕Shel💕

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, who was dreaming about me and won’t let me sleep?

Ha.

It’s currently 2:20 AM and I’ve been awake since I went to bed at 9 – something last night.

I’ve just been in bed thinking about different things. Tossing and turning. Thinking some more. Thinking of bills due. Christmas coming up fast. My work schedule. Getting back into a workout routine, and all kinds of stuff. I’ve checked my phone about 20 times, and every time I look – it’s just another 20 minutes or so later.

My mind won’t shut the hell up, and for some crazy reason, my mind went to the train derailment of 1977 – in downtown Chicago.

(Photo taken from Medium).

My mom worked down there at the time if I remember her telling me that correctly.

She was down there when it happened.

I have no idea why I thought about this as I was in bed not able to sleep, but then I started looking up photos on it, reading the story, and remembering my mom talking about it many years ago.

If you want to read the story, check it out. 👇

https://mx-schroeder.medium.com/out-of-the-loop-the-1977-chicago-usa-train-collision-6049663a4fc6

There are more photos on the site.

😶

I don’t really tell many people because it’s not really a big deal – but I like trains. I know – weird fact about me you probably didn’t need to know, but I do. I think they’re really cool, and if I’m being honest – I especially love the freight trains that travel all around the world and have the really creative tagging / drawings on it – from people who shouldn’t be doing it – but some of their artwork is neat.

The fact that these trains go all over, and these taggers are getting their artwork noticed in many different states – is pretty amazing. Okay, okay. I’m Criminal justice. I know it’s illegal and it’s not right to tag on a train car or mark it up – but I’ve seen some hard work put into those masterpieces, and it makes me appreciate art more. I don’t mean the goofy “Let me tag my name on this train car” – garbage. I mean the awesome photos of cartoons that get drawn, or the ones that take time to make something stand out – that the entire world will see – wherever that train car is.

I always wonder if someone creates these beautiful pieces on train cars and thinks to themselves, “Many people in many cities and states will see this and love it!”.

Stuff like (below) – makes me smile and makes me wonder how the hell there’s enough time – to do stuff like this, but again – while wrong and illegal – some of it – is creative.

💕

💕

Just because I started thinking about the train derailment in Chicago in 1977, that got me thinking about train cars I’ve seen with all kinds of drawings and artwork on it. I’m not okay with the tagging and people just being stupid about it – but something like these photos – that go all over the world and make people giggle and smile – I’m not against it!

STILL ILLEGAL THOUGH! STILL NOT A GOOD IDEA TO DO IT!

If you get caught, there’s hefty consequences!!!!

Hell. There are so many different types of trains and different styles, I just appreciate the trains themselves – even without the tagging and beauty of different artwork on them. So, I grabbed my phone, and I was looking up different types of trains, and I came across more train derailments, and why they happen.

What I really wanted to see – was how it looks for a train conductor – driving a train, so I looked up those videos.

Another fun fact about me – is that I once wanted to be a train conductor and drives those huge things, but I know it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, and there’s a lot that goes into it.

I’m telling you! For some reason – I’ve always been fascinated with trains.

Maybe it started when I was a young kid and my friends and I would climb over a fence – to then climb up a hill and onto the train tracks down the block from where I grew up. I loved trains even then, and nothing has changed.

There was one time a police officer was driving by, saw my best friend and I – up on the tracks, and screamed at us to get down. We hopped back over the fence, and once we were back on the ground, he yelled at us – telling us the dangers of being up on the tracks, and how if it derails – we’re in trouble and can be killed up there.

Our brothers were up there, too!

Mine got caught and he had to come down, and my best friend’s brother was hiding behind a wall – laying down, so the cop couldn’t see him. We were told that if he comes back around or sees us up there again, we’d be taken to the station, and our parents would be called. He asked if anyone else was up there with us, and we lied and said no. He asked, “So, that foot I see – isn’t attached to a body?”. lol

We turned to see my best friend’s brother’s foot sticking out from behind the wall. He got in trouble, too!

And –

My best friend lived on a dead-end street, on the 3rd floor – and the train tracks were literally right outside her window, so we could see people in the train and the trains going by, and they could see us if we had our heads sticking out of her bedroom window. We used to wave, and some would wave back. Sometimes, if the train conductor saw us, he’d toot the train horn for us. 😊

So, besides bills, and Christmas – my work schedule and other things on my mind, I was searching train videos of all kinds, and the 1977 derailment in my city back then. Long before I was born. I was searching for photos of train tagging’s – and drawings on trains that people have taken photos of, and I have some myself in one of my old phones.

Still – my mind wouldn’t shut up and let me sleep.

Then, I realized I was hungry and had to get up to eat, so I checked on my little guy, and saw – (as usual) – his cat sleeping right next to him – like Simba does every night. 💕

Just a boy and his fur buddy. 😁

I checked on my other two kids, and snuck to the kitchen to grab something little to eat, and here I am.

Writing for the world – that’s probably all sleeping right now. How does it feel?! haha.

I also found myself looking up reviews for different places I shop, eat, etc. I’m telling you – insomnia is real and it will have me all over the internet looking up things that make no sense at the time, but they’re interesting.

After all that, I started thinking about the people at work. From my amazing co-workers to the residents that we take care of and look out for – I adore them all.

The residents in our care – are homeless and have come to stay at our facility upon approval of whoever helps them pay for it – be it insurance, or whatever, and the case manager they work with.

They have to abide by certain rules, and if they follow those rules – they have a place to stay. If they break them – they can be kicked out. The residents in our care have mental health issues, drug and alcohol addictions, Criminal records, and many have had complicated rough lives, but I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else, because our residents are pretty awesome. 💕

As someone who works in the facility, I know that anything can happen on any given day and sometimes – our lives can be put in danger, but I also know that there’s protocol and the police are right on board with arriving quickly if any one of my co-workers or myself need them, especially if someone who isn’t allowed near the facility or on the property – shows up.

Many times – we’re not even thinking about the dangers of working in this facility when we’re there. We’re vigilant and stay alert of course, but I think the communication between all of my co-workers and myself – is beautiful and we all make sure that if we need our lead staff – we can call them and know that they’ll come handle whatever they need to.

I think the worst that has happened – is a few of them having too much to drink, and we may have to get in between them and whoever they’re arguing with, or let it be known that they don’t want to break their lease and get kicked out – so, “Cut it out!”, and many times – they do stop before anything gets too crazy.

I think it’s about building rapport (trust and mutual respect) with the residents that live there, and the staff – and getting to know all of their personalities, so if something does happen – we can step in and deal with each individual on a personal level – knowing they trust a few of us who work there.

I love it.

I love the residents, and I love going to work, and I never thought I’d say that.

I’ve been in the medical field for so long, and I used to hate going to work, but now that I’m in the field of partial Criminal justice / partial community service and dealing with criminals, homeless residents that now live in the facility, drug and alcohol addicted people – it’s such a rewarding job, and I can now honestly say – I love my job!

Just the other day, one of my most awesome residents came up to me and handed me this:

Isn’t it cute?!

He told me he made it for me, and it’s not much – but he thought it was nice.

I absolutely love it and told him that for me – it’s the little things that matter, and that I was going to put it on display on my kitchen counter at home – and I sure did! 😊

Many of them are such sweet and kind people, but because of what they’ve been through and have done in their lives – they need to know they can trust us staff members, and I try to make sure they know they can come to me and I’m going to do whatever I can for them – just like a few of my co-workers who go above and beyond.

It’s not just a paycheck for me!

While I couldn’t sleep, all of that was running through my mind because we have some residents who probably won’t ever get better, get help, or change – and I hate that, but I respect their choices. They’ve been this way for so long, they don’t know any other lifestyle. For some residents – they’re not doing well, and they know they’re not going to be on this earth long, so they choose to live reckless and do what they want to do, and we can’t stop that.

So – where I work – we laugh, we love, we show compassion and kindness and just be there whenever these residents need us.

I thought about work as well. Not just trains, bills, Christmas and whatever else.

Listen, I’ve eaten. I’ve written. It’s 3:13 AM, and I have to be up for work at 5, so I should probably try to again to get some sleep. I know I’ll be drinking a lot of Coffee later today.

I will catch up with all of you and what’s going on in your lives later tonight.

Have a beautiful and blessed day!

💕Shel💕