So, yesterday – I tried to trade “Maggie” in – for a family SUV.

Something bigger for road trips.

Something with more family space for the kids when we’re in the car.

Something where we can pack tons of stuff into it and still have room.

My car is pretty, but it’s definitely not a family car. It’s way too small, and I didn’t think about that when I got it a few years ago. My car falls into the same class as Audi’s, and I’ve gotten many compliments on how much people love it. Some have even thought it was a BMW when they first see it, and I’ve had to correct them, but that’s how nice it looks.

It’s a foreign headache!

It’s expensive to fix if anything goes wrong. Some parts have to be ordered or come from overseas. I’m ready to break up with this damn car.

I’m ready to get rid of it, and yes – I named it “Maggie” when I first got it.

My last car before Maggie – was a Ford Explorer and I absolutely loved that SUV. It had so much space.

That was “Stanley”. 🤣 I figured I would try to trade Maggie in – for another Ford Explorer. My last one went into a ditch in the beginning of 2021, and I got Maggie in July 2021.

I called this car dealership near my area yesterday morning and told the guy who answered – what I was looking for. I told him if he didn’t have any Explorer’s, I’d take a decent sized family SUV that was priced right if I could trade my car in. He told me to come on in, and as soon as I walked in – we didn’t even sit down in his office to chat first.

He held up keys and handed them to me – as I thought to myself – “(This must be what celebs with tons of money feel like walking into dealers)”.

I asked what he was putting me into, and he said a 2025 Ford Explorer. He pointed to where it was located, so I could go test drive it, as I handed him my keys to test drive mine and figure out a trade-in value for it. My daughter was with me, and she made me giggle when we got into this fancy and beautiful SUV – and she said, “Let’s go to Chicago!”. I made her laugh when I told her, “I mean – he technically didn’t say where to test drive the car to! If I should happen to end up in Chicago, that wasn’t my fault because he wasn’t clear!”. 😁

I loved the SUV. The screen on it looked like the size of a laptop screen. It was a push to start – (but so is mine), and the Drive, reverse, etc. – was just a knob you turn, and it does this fancy dinging noise. I WANTED IT!!!!!

I test drove it, and my daughter asked if I was eventually going to turn around and go back, because I just kept driving and driving. I told her I was taking in the new car smell and the new car feel, but I did turn around and go back.

I walked in and told the car sales guy that I wanted it, and we talked numbers.

Here’s the thing.

As much as everything in me screamed “TAKE IT!!!!!” – and I know I truly deserve it and wanted to give it to myself as a graduation gift for the last 4 years of working my ass off for my Criminal justice degrees – another part of me was trying to scream some COMMON SENSE into my mind. Truth is – my car is almost paid off, and I don’t have that long to go – so instead of getting myself into a mess with getting a new $50,000 SUV and having years and years of more payments – I can just pay off the car I have now, and save money to drop a good down payment on something a little less expensive.

I can’t wrap my head around paying $50,000 for a brand-new SUV when I want to drop a down payment on a house this year or next year.

I really had to think about it, and I’m not rapper – rich – as I call it. I can’t just say, “I’ll take it”, and know I have a million in the bank still.

I’m a single mom – just barely getting by, and as much as I know I want it, love it and deserve it – it took everything in me to walk away from it. 🥺 He mentioned something about putting down $4,000 and leasing it for three years, and if I want to own it from there, or trade it for something else – I can do that.

I still walked away.

When I got back in my car – I was a little sad about it, but it just made sense to not get myself into another car note that would possibly be a headache in the future. I have no idea why or how cars are so expensive these days, but it’s sad what this world has come to – when it comes to money and everything being way overpriced.

Yes, I probably could have leased it if I wanted to, or even made a huge down payment on it, and taken it soon – but I know it’s not in my best interest, and I also know there’s other SUVs out there – that are way less money and are still in beautiful condition, so I passed. Not to mention – they weren’t going to give me much for my car.

I did have to laugh when I said I was so tired of the car I have now, and the sales guy mentioned that I could just leave it on the lake. I told him, “As soon as the ice starts to melt”, and we both laughed.

I still may look around and trade my car in for something bigger – better – and with less headaches or payments, but right now – I also know I want to get the hell out of Minnesota this summer, so I have to play it smart.

I’ll update on the car situation when and if “Maggie” gets traded one day soon.

*****

In other news, you all know my son and I work in a facility that houses the once homeless, some small-time criminals, drug and alcoholic addicts, and some with mental health issues – right?

One of things we messed up on and did – was get close to them.

I don’t regret it because while our city doesn’t want to deal with them, and anyone who hears where they live – cringes and tries to avoid them – our staff – including my son and I – know them personally. We know that a lot of them are so sweet, amazing, helpful, funny, smart, etc. We care deeply about the tenants in our facility we work in, and we try so much to show them compassion, love, care, understanding, etc.

I say we messed up getting close to them – because it’s always heartbreaking – having to say “goodbye” to one of them if one leaves, or one passes.

A few weeks ago, we had one that passed away. We got close to her, and she was such a sweet and funny little firecracker of a person.

We then had one that decided to move out. That was sad because I looked forward to seeing her every day, or hearing her give attitude playfully and yell, “WHAT?” – every time I called her room, or she was down the hall. She’d laugh when I’d tell her, “You know what? Now I don’t want to talk to you!”.

A few days ago, one of our other tenants that I’ll call “Dave” – went to the hospital. Dave has some health issues that are getting worse, and the last two weeks – the hospital sent him right back, but a few days ago, he was admitted and was sent to ICU. He’s not doing well, and the day before last – my son and I went up to visit him – since most of our other staff did so as well.

He was sleeping when we got there, and I called his name twice before he opened his eyes, saw us and smiled. I held a straw up to his mouth, because he was struggling to drink water. They brought him his dinner, and he had us smiling when he complained – in short whispers – that he doesn’t want three meals a day.

We joked that there’s nobody to keep us on our toes at work, and he has to come back to yell at people or instigate things like he used to. He smiled.

We had a great visit, and we laughed so much when he whispered something a few times, and when we couldn’t understand him, it took everything in him to yell out, “$5!”. He wanted money. I laughed and asked where the heck he plans to go if he gets $5. He had no idea, but then he asked for his check. Our tenants get checks every month – I believe it is, so I told him they’d hold on to his checks for him – until he came back.

He had us laughing when he smiled and whispered, “Bring me my portion up here”. 😁 He’s in ICU and he can still joke around. He has Oxygen and can barely breath or talk, but he can still joke around, and I loved that. I miss that at work, and seeing him every time I walk in. Some of our tenants get alcohol portions to stop withdrawal symptoms, so that’s what he was talking about.

A few weeks ago – before he went to the hospital, I walked in at 7 AM and he was waiting for me like usual, and yelled out, “THERE SHE IS!”….but – this time – I had to tell him no. He wanted his portion, and I told him, “It’s not happening!”. He looked at me so funny and confused and asked why not. I told him I heard he hasn’t been eating breakfast or lunch, and he can’t live on alcohol alone. He got upset, but you know what he did……………..?

Marched himself right to the kitchen and ate something.

We have another guy there – a younger guy that I’ll call “Noah”. Noah is in an on and off again relationship with one of the women who live in the facility, and he gets so jealous over her, so when he found out she may be dating a new guy, he flipped out one day.

As I was trying to calm him down, Dave chimed in while he was listening, and yelled, “She’s with everyone! What is he complaining about? Leave her alone!”. My jaw dropped, and I prayed Noah didn’t hear him from across the room because it would have angered Noah even more – while I was trying to calm him down. I turned and told Dave to please behave and be quiet – as he laughed!

That’s the Dave I’ll forever remember.

Funny. Sarcastic. Loud. Vocal. Stubborn. Wild. Crazy. Fun. Silly.

I wasn’t there the night he went to the hospital, but they sent him back to the facility many times before, so I thought he’d be back. We had no idea that this time – he may not be. This time – may really be the end.

The night we were in the ICU to see him – when we said we were leaving the hospital, but we’d be back this weekend to see him again, he gave my son a fist-bump, and he grabbed my hand. I held his hand for a few minutes as he looked so tired and drained. His breathing was shallow, and he started closing his eyes. I told him to get some rest, and again -that we’d be back this weekend.

But – as I tried to pull my hand away gently, he squeezed it and wouldn’t let go. 🥺 He broke my heart when he whispered with his eyes closed – “Everyone left”. I whispered to my son that Dave wasn’t letting go, and we both felt bad. I almost wanted to pull up a chair and tell the nurses we’ll be there overnight, but we couldn’t do that.

I held his hand until I thought he was sleeping, and I tried to pull my hand away again, but he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand again – holding on once more. So, I held his hand, watched him close his eyes again, and I sat there with my son – in silence – looking at the T.V. with no sound – as we watched it.

Eventually, I did pull away slowly, and tell him we’re praying for him, and we love him.

I couldn’t turn around and look as we walked away, but my son did – and he said Dave was watching us leave with this sadness in his eyes. My son mentioned, “I don’t think he wants to be alone”. Once we left that room – the tears fell.

I cried so much. I cried on the way out of the hospital. I cried in the car. I was still crying on the way home.

I know Dave probably won’t live much longer and it crushes me.

I’ll always remember him as the vibrant, goofy man that walked around with humor, talking shit to everyone.

We do plan to go back Saturday and see him again if he’s still here on this earth, and I’m going to miss that man so much when he leaves it. 😶

*****

Before I get out of here, I have to share that today is my best friend’s 44th birthday.

Her name is Trish.

She and I met in 2nd grade when we were both 7-years-old.

We met because of the class clown, and we’ve stayed friends all these years.

We have so many funny and great memories together, and I’d be here forever if I were to share them all – but I just wanted to make you giggle and share a few of them – while also celebrating her day. 💕

The Twins (but NOT!) story:

She and I used to tell everyone we were fraternal twins. (Not identical) – obviously.

Many people believed us.

For example – in 6th grade – we had this boy James in our class who didn’t at first, and said if we were really twins, he wanted to see a photo of us when we were little. We had no idea how we were going to make that happen, but that night – my best friend Trish – called me and told me, “I have an idea!”. Her cousins were fraternal twins, and she had a photo of them when they were babies.

One has blonde hair and blueish eyes, which Trish has – and one has brown hair and Hazel eyes – which I have, so she brought that photo to school the next day and showed James. He absolutely believed us after that – thinking that was us when we were babies, so we started telling more people who didn’t know us – that we were fraternal twins. (James was new at the time) and didn’t really know us.

We went to the mall one day, and we were in the photo booth taking photos. When we got out of it, an elderly woman smiled at us – as she sat on the bench next to it – enjoying her ice cream. She said her and best friend used to do the same thing when they were our ages.

We were teenagers at the time, and we started talking to her and told her we were actually fraternal twins. She asked when our birthday was, and without really thinking about it, I told her my real birthday and Trish told her when her birthday was. Mine is in June. Trish’s – January, so of course – the lady asked, “Well, how are you fraternal twins if your birthdays are six months apart?”. We just looked at each other, laughed and realized we needed to get our birthdays straight if we were going to pretend to be twins.

After that, we settled on some birthday – same day and agreed to tell people that was ours. 😁

We’ve even been STEP-SISTERS! (Story).

We went to high school together and we always told the teachers we were stepsisters.

Nobody ever questioned it.

One day, our homeroom teacher said he had to have a talk with our parents because we had both been cutting classes, and he wanted our parents to know. He asked who he should get ahold of, and because we said her dad was married to my mom, the homeroom teacher said he would probably call them both.

We had NO IDEA what to say or do – but we were sure that our little “stepsisters” story was about to end.

Oddly enough, my mom and her dad said they would come in, but lucky for us – they would be there at different times that same day – as they both worked. They had no idea we were telling teachers we were stepsisters.

So, her dad came in first.

I was headed back from my locker and while I was walking down the hall to homeroom – Trish was standing outside the room with the teacher and her dad. We both gave each other scared and nervous looks, as we smirked and we both heard the teacher tell her dad, “Her and her stepsister”. We still don’t think her dad heard it to this day because he didn’t say anything about it, but MY MOM – she caught it fast.

When the teacher told her, “Her and her stepsister” – my mother was confused and asked, “STEPSISTER? She doesn’t have a stepsister!”. My mom was the one who ended that stepsister stuff.

🤣

“CHAT ROOM? WHAT’S THAT?”

One of the best memories we have together – is one 4th of July when I went to her house a few years back, and we were sitting on the porch having a few drinks – while my kids played with her nieces and nephew.

Next door to her – there was a teenage boy who lived there, and he liked to come outside and bug us whenever I was there. This one day, he was outside – and he kept running his mouth trying to insult us and make us mad. We kept ignoring him because we’re two grown ass women – who could care less about a teenager talking shit to us. lol.

When he said, “You guys are so old, you probably used AOL chat rooms before, and you were around when they were around!” – Trish had me laughing so hard when she asked him, “What’s an AOL chat room?”, and said that sounds fun.

He looked so shocked and asked, “You don’t know what a chat room online is? For real?”. She said no and asked how to use one. We were laughing and laughing, and this teenage couldn’t believe it. He started explaining chat rooms to us and said we can talk with people on the Internet. Trish laughed so much when I asked this teenage boy, “What the hell is the Internet?”. He looked at us shocked, placed his hand on his face and said, “This is going to be a long day!”. Trish asked – through laughter – “What’s this Chat you speak of?”.

He really believed we had no idea, and he ended up shaking his head, told us “You guys are hopeless”, and went inside – as we laughed the entire time. He probably called his friends and told them, “The middle-aged women next door have no idea what the internet or chat rooms are! Can you believe that?”. 🤣🤣🤣

Of course we do! We were in AOL chat rooms on the internet before he was even though of! ha.

“The BOX – phone bill problem“:

Another memory I’ll never forget and we still laugh about – is when we were teenagers and back then in the early 90’s – the BOX (Channel 13) I believe it was – was super popular.

The BOX – was where you could call in on your landline phone, dial three numbers to any video you wanted to see – as the numbers to those videos scrolled at the bottom of the screen, and they’d play those videos you requested. The cool thing was – you could see people’s video choice numbers being typed in as people called in. The bad thing was – each video cost between .99 – $3.99 and would charge your parents phone bills.

We didn’t realize that when we were calling to request videos.

When my mom got her phone bill one month and she called me downstairs SCREAMING – because it was over $300 – she was SO MAD and demanded to know what THE BOX was. I got grounded, and she ended up having our phone company block THE BOX phone number.

My best friend was there when my mom yelled at me and got the phone bill, so I laughed when she told me she better go home and see if her parents got their phone bill.

Good times!

“Shaving cream gone wrong!”

Our 8th grade graduation field trip – was to Springfield, IL. – to go see Lincoln’s home and some other places.

The night before, I spent that night at Trish’s, so we could leave at 5:30 AM together, walk to school and be there on time to get on the buses with our class.

We couldn’t sleep because we were excited and kept talking all night and watching movies.

Finally, around 3 AM – we started getting tired, and felt like we should probably go to sleep, but she had the idea of grabbing shaving cream, going into her brother’s room, and putting it all over his head. She did that, and at 4 AM when we decided to get one hour of sleep – her brother came out of his room, sat on the couch and we couldn’t stop laughing.

He called us idiots. He asked why we were laughing. He told us we were stupid. He told us we have problems.

We were laughing too hard to care what he was saying – as we saw all the shaving cream spread out all over his hair.

Finally, he went to use the bathroom, saw all the shaving cream in the mirror, and went to tell their father.

Their father woke up, had him wash his hair, and screamed at us.

Their father told us we had to be up early and should be sleeping, not messing around. He yelled that we were immature, and he shouldn’t be up dealing with our bullshit at that time of morning. He went on and on.

But………….

When Trish’s brother went back to his bedroom, their dad looked and made sure he was in there – before he looked at us, smiled and whispered, “Next time – do it right! You put it in his hand and tickle his nose!”. We laughed so much, as their dad giggled and went back to bed. 😁

We’ve had so many fun memories, and we’ve always been there for each other through some the toughest times in our lives.

I am so grateful for our friendship and that it’s lasted 32+ years and still going strong, so today – I want to say a very big

to my best friend, Trish!

Your friendship has gotten me through so much, and while I keep my circle small these days – I am so happy to still have you in it. 💕

I love you, TWIN / Stepsister. haha.

Some fun photos of us.

This is when she grabbed my little guy when he was just a baby and rocked him to sleep.

Trish always says she doesn’t like kids, so on this day – I told her it looks like she LOVES them. She laughed and told me, “Only when I can rock them to sleep and hand them back to their parents!”.

I believe this was the 4th of July when the kid next door had to explain what AOL CHAT and the internet were. Kid, we were AMERICA ONLINE and AOL chat long before your parents thought you into existence.

One of my favorite photos of us! 🙂

To everyone else, I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend.

The weather is starting to get decent, but you never know around this damn state.

Love you!

💕Shel💕