New Years resolutions / goals and a funny story.

So, how did everyone’s New Years Eve go?

Mine was laid back and chill.

I grabbed pizza for the kids before I came home, and I planned to get a bottle of wine for myself, but I actually skipped that.

The kids ate and my sons were in bed early, so they knocked out and I didn’t even wake them up for the ball drop, or anything. I let them sleep, because as long as they were warm, safe and peaceful – if they wanted to bring in the NEW YEAR with snores – I was all good with that. 😁 My daughter and I stayed up the whole time watching the NEW YORK events, performers, people, and then what we thought – was going to be the ball drop.

Anyone else disappointed we didn’t get to see that?

After the countdown – the view went to the crowd and confetti.

I think many people have mentioned something about not seeing it, and how odd that was.

Either way – we then watched the little bit of LIVE streaming Chicago had going on for their first ever ball drop, and we were disappointed to know that while (Chance the Rapper) was hosting it and performing a bit, he wasn’t seen much from what people in Chi-town are saying. Still, I heard the fireworks were beautiful and the city was peaceful that night. ❤️

I heard a few other music artists were down there as well. The ones who are from Chi.

Many years back – Chance the Rapper – donated a good amount of money to some Chicago area schools, and one of them – was my older daughter’s school – (Benito Juarez Community academy HS) – in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood. My older daughter still went there at the time, so she was so excited to tell people that her school was one of them on the list.

I’ll always have love for Chance – and any other rapper / artist who decides to give back to their cities that they came from.

Once we watched the celebrations in NY and Chicago, and they were over – Kailani and I wished each other a Happy New Year, and we both went to our rooms and knocked out.

No selfies that night. No loud music. No wine.

Just living in the moment and relaxing.

She did have to make it known – as soon as the New Year hit – that she will be “graduating this year”, and She will be turning 18. I’m a little sad about that, but we’ll deal with that when those two major events roll around.

So…..

Did you make any resolutions for 2026?

Let me share some of mine.

Weight loss:

I’ve been on this journey for years now, and I keep messing it up.

This year, it has to be taken seriously because I’ll be 44, and my kids need me to stick around a lot longer.

I’m not young anymore, and if I want to be there for them for many more years, this is one way to guarantee it.

When I lived in Chicago and then moved to Minnesota, I was slim. I was active. I enjoyed working out and being on the move all the time.

When my oldest child was taken from this earth, that’s when things got bad. Really bad.

I stopped working out. I wasn’t active for a long time, because I just wanted to be in bed all day.

I would shower, go to work, and do nothing after.

I wasn’t eating right. I was drinking. I was depressed, angry, confused, and had so many questions that I’d never get the answers to. Things got bad for years, and I just didn’t care, so instead of cooking homemade meals like I used to and doing things outdoors, or going places – I’d pick up fast food, eat, and go to sleep.

I’d take care of my kids of course. Took them to school, helped with homework, made sure they ate meals, made sure laundry was done and the house was clean all the time, but – other than what I had to do – there was no working out, or taking care of “being fit” because my oldest was gone. I didn’t have a will to live, or to care about me. So, I gained weight, and kept gaining because I wasn’t active anymore, and I was eating whatever, drinking whatever. Sleeping for hours.

In 2025 – I promised myself it’s time to get back to the old me. The me who worked out. Who was active. Who didn’t even have time to eat because I was making so much money and had dreams / goals, and ambitions.

2025 – just helped me heal a little more, and to finally accept that my oldest was gone, and I’ll never get those answers I felt like I needed. That I wanted. That I struggled so hard to get from whatever happened that night she was killed. 2025 – I knew I needed to get back on my “A-GAME” and get my money right – get my fitness back together – and make sure I was taking care of me as well – because I have kids, and you can’t pour from an empty glass, right?

I was drained for years. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

2025 – taught me that I’ve been down and out for too long, and it was time to get my ass back to God, and to get back on my feet after years of struggling with depression, anger, and a pain no parent should ever have to go through.

2026 – THIS YEAR – This is for me. This comeback is personal. This year – I’m doing everything I plan to do, and that includes getting fit again. Eating better. Thinking better. Living better.

Okay, so we have an event tomorrow and my kids made me promise them McDonald’s after. 🤣

And – we still have leftover Christmas cookies. So, I promised myself that on the 4th – I was going to plug in the treadmill that usually holds clean clothes that need to be hung up when they come out of the dryer – and I am going to get my ass on there every day – maybe twice a day.

I said I was going to go for more walks, drink more water, and eat right this year.

I’m going to 100% get out of this funk I’ve been in for years now and get back to the me that I was when I lived in Chicago, and when I first moved here.

I do need to lose this weight I gained over the years, and while some people will look at me and tell me I’m crazy or there’s not much to lose, I can see it and feel it, and I want it gone. So, that’s a goal I plan to accomplish this year. To at least – get back down to what I was when I packed up my life in IL. and moved to MN.

For anyone trying to do the same – let me also say that while it’s NOT easy trying to eat right, exercise and lose weight – cheat days are okay, as long as you only have ONE of them here and there, and it’s okay to NOT exercise everyday – as long as when the next day comes – you get up and go at it again. 😊

Moving to civilization:

Another 2026 New Years resolution I have – is to move my kids and I – closer to civilization.

The little town we live in is dead. I mean – dead. dead.

We don’t have much around here, and everything is usually closed down by 8 PM or earlier.

Everyone is in each other’s business. If you do something, people are going to know before you blink an eye.

Gossip travels fast.

Everyone knows everyone or is related to everyone.

Last names matter here.

This little town is boring and there’s not much to do, unless you want to drive miles and miles away, hours and hours away, and have to travel back home again.

In the nearest bigger “town” – we have two or five of everything.

There’s no variety of anything here.

We have two McDonald’s. Two Burger Kings. Three Starbucks. FOUR Caribou coffees, and a bunch of random pizza places all within 5-10 minutes of each other. We have a bunch of banks, and car washes, but nothing really for kids to do.

No real stores. We have everything on repeat, and our mall is just as dead as these towns.

In Chicago, there were so many good food places, and a huge variety of cultural choices.

In Chicago, there are tons of stores upon stores of different kinds, and they’re all so close together and you don’t have to travel miles or hours to find something for the kids to do. There are tons of places for kids to go in IL.

I thought I wanted the country life – until I got it – and was hit with the reality of it. ha.

Now – I know why people leave small country towns for bigger cities.

So, in the next two months – I plan to buy a bunch of bins, pack up everything we don’t use right now or need out, and put them in these bins. I plan to stack them up in a corner somewhere and get rid of things we don’t want to keep or need. I plan to have the kids do the same in their bedrooms and get rid of what they don’t need or want, pack up things they’re taking with us when we move, and get everything ready.

In April – I plan to start looking for work near a place in Wisconsin – closer to IL. or – in a suburb near my aunt and uncles in IL. because I love it there, and drop the money on a place, so when my youngest daughter graduates, there’s a moving truck in the parking lot and we already have a place to move to.

We are so ready to get out of here and get back to a variety of food places – (although I don’t need that while trying to hit my weight loss goal), a variety of stores, and things to do. We’re ready to get back to being closer to friends and family. We’re so ready to get back to places being open late, or 24 hours in some spots. We’re so ready to be where there’s better job opportunities, and more money.

We’re just ready to go.

So – this month and next – are going to be filled with packing and cleaning up the apartment we’re in now, and April – will be the month of searching for a place and dropping money on it – so when May comes, we’re starting over – somewhere else, and leaving 6 long years in Minnesota – in the dust.

I think the first year of this place was our happiest, and after that – we wondered what the hell we got ourselves into moving to this small town. Yes, it’s safe. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, I love hearing the cows next door “moo” when I open the windows and they’re out. Yes, I love hearing the gunshots when it’s hunting season, but – I’m just ready to be around the familiar places, people, and things I grew up with back home.

No, I don’t want to move directly into Chicago, but yes, it will be nice to be at least an hour from family and friends – and not almost 10 hours.

So, that’s a resolution of mine this year.

Getting the hell out of dodge and going back towards who and what we know.

Career:

There are no career opportunities where we are now, and one of my biggest New Years resolutions – is to be offered a job as a probation officer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was 15 and I had a probation officer – which is a story for another time.

Since then – I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to become one and help other juveniles change their lives – like she helped me. Like many people just like her – including a few cops I met along the way – helped me.

Oddly enough, they don’t need probation officers in our little area – even though there are plenty of kids who are in need of one, but we only have a few.

I was so excited the beginning of this year when I was still in school for my BA degree in Criminal Justice, and I applied for and was offered an internship for probation, but – because my school and the county needed to create a contract for me to do this, and it took forever – I was graduating before I ever got to do the internship. I was literally a few weeks away from graduation when a contract was finally set, but by then – it was too late because the internship would go towards my credits and I already had those.

I was bummed, but hopefully – knowing there’s so many career opportunities in bigger cities I’ve been looking into moving to – maybe it will finally happen for me.

If not, at least there’s more opportunities for other positions in the field I went to school for.

I love the job I have now – dealing with those who were once homeless, who are alcoholics, drug addicts, have mental health issues, etc. but – it’s not my dream career and the pay sucks. I do it because I love it, and I love the people, but it’s not forever.

Stepping into my dream career for 2026 – is a goal of mine.

Debts:

This year is going to be the year that I will work two or three jobs if I have to – or pick up a side hustle – to get myself debt – free. I don’t have a lot of debt, but I do plan to pay off my car and trade it in this year to treat myself to a little graduation gift – since I completed both degrees over the last 4 years and haven’t done anything nice for myself to celebrate both degrees.

This year is going to be the year that I work my ass off and pay off whatever I need to – to make sure that my only debt – is my new SUV if I get one, a mortgage if I’m able to drop some money on a house this year or next, and my basic bills. I don’t think that’s too much to set as a goal, is it?! This year is the year that I don’t want to worry about any finances, and I just want to live my best life with my kids.

This is the year that I want to do more traveling, see more places, and do more things with them.

This is the year I want to say, “Yes – I have extra money. Let’s go out this weekend!” and really mean it!

I want all my debts cleared, and I don’t want to worry about anything this year, except what the kids and I are doing on my days off.

God:

A good friend of mine and I were talking a while back and we both decided to start reading the BIBLE more this year. To really study it and write down our favorite quotes and scriptures, stories, lessons, etc. and not just read it – but REALLY read it and focus on it. We plan to talk about it, share our thoughts with each other, and make it our “go-to” when life is kicking our asses.

We both said our souls are a mess and we need to get right with God. lol.

We found it hilarious yesterday when I left her a message saying, “Get your Bible ready. This is our year. We said we were going to do this”, and I told her what I plan to do, and without listening to my message – she sent me almost the same thing, so we took it as a sign that God is up there like, “Let’s go girls! It’s time!”. haha.

I feel like this year, I need to trust God more and stop trying to run everything.

These are just some of my goals for the year. Some of my New Years reslutions.

What are yours?

If you want to hear a funny story about God – let me share this with you before I get out of here. 😁

On Christmas Eve, my son got paid and asked if he could use my car to do some last-minute shopping and run a few places. I let him, but because my car needs work – I told him not to go far.

He was headed to the nearest bigger city 30 minutes away, and I got a phone call from my daughter. She went with him.

I answered and I heard a police officer loud and clear in the background but couldn’t hear what he was saying or what was going on. My heart dropped!

You know my oldest was killed in a car accident, and now my other two children just took my car – and I get a call and just hear the cop talking. Finally, I heard my son say, “Is mom on the phone?”. My daughter said yeah, and she said, “Hello?”. I kept saying hello before she said her first hello, and I was so relieved to hear both of their voices. I asked her what was going on. She said she had me on speaker, and that they got pulled over.

I was so grateful it was just that and that they didn’t get into an accident or hit a deer.

I was so grateful they were both okay.

The officer got on the phone and said the reason he pulled my son over – was because the tabs were expired.

I told him the car has been giving issues, so I try not to drive it a lot, but I just ordered the new tabs online and that I have the insurance on my phone if he wanted me to send proof to my daughter, so she could show him. He said that would be great, so I did.

He gave my son a warning about driving without the new tabs and the insurance card on him, and he let them go.

My son came back home, and they told me that the officer told him that I also have to take the cross I have – off my rearview mirror. He said it’s an “obstruction to view”. It’s a small cross that says, “For he will command his angels to guard you in all your ways”.

I told Frankie it’s not coming down.

Frankie (my older son) asked if I was seriously going to leave it up. I sure am!

He asked what I was going to do if that same cop stops me next time and tells me the same thing.

Me to said cop if it happens: “That battle is between you and God when you get up there, but it’s not going anywhere. I’ll take the ticket, but don’t cry when you have to answer to that man up there when you meet him”. 😁

I had my kids laughing, but I thought it was funny.

Good Lord, I’m just glad they are okay because I panicked that day.

I have to get out of here and get ready to start my day, but you all have a beautiful weekend…

and I love you!

❤️Shel❤️

Because – Snow.

I’m beginning to think God has a timer up there, and at 4 PM exactly – every day – it goes off and releases SNOW!

I swear – the last week or so, every day like clockwork, same time – it’s snowing.

Last night was no different. It started snowing as soon as I headed to Target at 4 PM.

It got bad really fast, and the drive home – 30 minutes back to my little itty-bitty town – was awful.

This is the time of year where Minnesota people get to play, “Hey, where’d the lines go?”, or “Am I on the right side of the road?” – depending on what you want to call it. ha.

Today, was a little better – since crews cleared the roads pretty quickly for the AM drivers, and I got to work with no issues.

What I didn’t know – was that more heavy and nasty snow was expected today, but this time – it started around 1 PM or so. We had a meeting at work, and after the meeting, I sat at the front desk – looking out at the snow as it started.

Around 1:20 PM, my boss sat next to me and we were chatting, as I told her my kids are getting out of school early due to the predicted snowstorm getting worse, and my older son was picking them up. She asked if I knew anything about the other schools up by my job closing early, and I told her I just knew the school in our town was letting the kids out early, but that I didn’t have to get them because my son was.

I got the email, the call, and the text for it.

She suddenly said, “Let me go make some calls”. I thought she was going to call and see if schools up that way where I work – were closing early because maybe she knew kids who go there or adults who work in those schools, but 10 minutes later, as I stood in the middle of the office – she came and stood next to me and said, “I called Jayla. She’s coming in early, so you can get out of here. I know you’ve got a long drive back and the roads are getting nasty. I want you to get home safe”. Jayla is one of my younger co-workers, and she came in for me.

I didn’t even ask my boss if I could leave early, but the fact that she thought about me driving all the way back to my little town in this weather and released me early – shows what kind of boss she is and I’m so grateful for her. 😊Another one of my co-workers took off as well, and I believe my boss did some of her work and was planning to leave early herself – since she has a pretty long drive home.

I will say that the ride home wasn’t too bad, and the plows were out doing their jobs, but the fact that I feel “snowed in” – sort of sucks. I wanted to be out and about doing Christmas shopping, and getting some errands done, but it is nice being home relaxing at the same time.

The school is starting two hours late tomorrow if nothing changes, but of course – the kids are praying it just closes.

I’m off the next few days, so I don’t have to worry about traveling.

I thought the snow was going to miss us this year or that we’d have a mild, chill winter because as of late November – we didn’t have much snow, but I guess that’s changing. 🙄

So, I plan to maybe get my little dude off his video games the next few days – for once and go use the sled I got him a while back – that he hasn’t touched. Snow angels? Yes. Snowman? Yes. I want to do it all. Heck – maybe a hot chocolate run and photos by the lake where the beautiful Christmas lights are all up and the area near the lake is all decorated. Why not?!

*****

My daughter and I were there yesterday – where we planned to take some of her Senior photos because the deadline is fast approaching and we have to get these done, and one turned in for the yearbook. We took some really cute ones, but she didn’t like them, so we have to go do them again.

I absolutely love this one:

She does, too! Unfortunately, we need a photo for the yearbook – where she’s looking up, and she didn’t like the ones we took.

It started snowing bad last night, so we just came home and decided to try again this week.

Plus, this was inside one of the decorations, and I’d like to get the outside during dusk – where we could make it a little “nicer”.

Just when I thought we were about to get these Senior photos done, Senior quote, Senior wills, etc. – turn those in and be done with everything, I got an email about the Senior class rings. Those are $400+ depending on designs, etc.

When they say Senior year is expensive – they’re not lying!!!!

******

If you want to giggle though – my daughter has liked this boy that I’ll call “Kyle” – for the longest.

She decided to take Psychology this year just for fun. Maybe not just for fun – because she plans to become an EMT / Paramedic in the future, and sometimes they deal with mental health and things Psych related, so she will probably use what she learns one day.

This boy Kyle joined Psychology recently, and she doesn’t know why because she says all he does is play around, sleep, and doesn’t pay attention.

My daughter actually likes this class, and when she found out a few days ago that this boy Kyle is now dating a girl she used to be friends with, she dropped Psychology. She felt like if this girl joined Psychology to be in class with this Kyle kid – my daughter didn’t want to deal with that.

I thought it was goofy that she was dropping a class because of a boy or some girl he was dating that may or may not join the class, but she said she was going to join the Yearbook committee instead. She gets a free yearbook if she’s on the committee, so I was all for that. One less cost I have to pay. So, I supported her decision to drop Psychology and go be on the yearbook committee if it made her happy, less stressed out over this young man and worrying about his girlfriend joining that class.

I supported her wanting to make the change of classes.

I told her do what she felt she needed to do – even if I thought letting some girl run her out of that class – was insane. The girl hadn’t even joined the class yet, nor did we know if she was going to.

Last night, my daughter was upset that she dropped that class without thinking. She said when she found out Kyle and her old friend were dating, she just felt sick, and didn’t want to see them together if this girl did join the class, but now – she could care less and she feels like she’ll miss Psychology. She said she’s not going to let Kyle or her old friend dating – run her out of a class she loves, and she’s just going to deal with it if this girl joins that class.

After her going back and forth about if she should just stay in Psychology or not – especially after her main teacher switched her to the yearbook committee when she asked the other day – I looked at her last night like:

“You need to make up your mind, kid!”.

She decided to stay in Psych, and I was so proud of her for not letting this boy she likes or the girl now dating him – keep her from a class she truly does love and enjoys learning in.

Today, she told her main teacher she’ll just stay in Psych, and I’m sure she’s driving him crazy, too! Still – he’s amazing with her and he switched her back to Psychology.

I giggled about the whole thing.

I did tell her that when she graduates – she may look back on these few years and wonder what the hell she was thinking when it comes to this kid, Kyle. I told her about some of my crushes back in high school and how I look back now and wonder the same.

People change. Feelings change, and years from now – this boy Kyle and this girl he’s dating now – may not even remember each other’s last names and they may go their own ways after graduation, so I’m truly happy my daughter didn’t let this class go – because of them.

I think it’s good for her and her future career.

Teenagers make me laugh with their little puppy love relationships.

I remember those days back in high school.

Matter of fact – one of my really good friends from high school and I – we were talking the other day about guys we had crushes on in high school, and when she heard I had a crush on this boy Anthony back in high school, she laughed at me and did the whole, “Ewwww. What was wrong with you?” (Shame game). lol. I look back now, and I laugh about it myself.

I found out she had a crush on this one guy we went to high school with, and I did the same. We totally had different taste in our guys, but we laughed about the guys we once crushed on in high school, and I hope my daughter can look back and do the same – with laughter and humor about it.

There is one really good young man at the school that I wouldn’t mind my daughter dating.

I’ll call him “Brandon”.

Brandon has really liked my daughter since she started there in 8th grade, and every time school let out, he’d be outside yelling, “BYE, KAILANI!” – so loud – that everyone heard him and looked at him. Daily. It was the cutest thing and I’d tell her, “Say bye to that boy!”. She never wanted to. 🤣

He still likes her. He still talks to her. I still wish she’d give him a chance.

A few days ago, when she was telling me about this boy she likes – dating her old good friend now, she looked up at the sky and said, “God, if you have another guy up there who is good and will treat me right, please send him my way!”. I laughed and told her, “HE DID!!! YOU KEEP FRIEND ZONING HIM!”.

(I was talking about Brandon).

She’s 17. She’s allowed to date now, as long as it’s the right kind of boy and he treats her right, but I’m also not in a hurry for her to date, and I told her to make sure that her graduation is her main focus. She’s a great kid, and she has all her credits so far, and she’s so close to finishing the last ones she needs – so, I’m not worried. Still, I want her to make dating a last priority.

In other news –

We’re almost through the holidays and Christmas will be here soon.

I’ve been finishing up Christmas shopping for the kids. I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m doing for dinner Christmas day. I’ve been trying to get cute little goody bags together for Elijah’s class and putting together gifts for his teacher. I’ve been trying to save for and plan a trip back home to Illinois for Christmas to see my aunt and uncle, and possibly one of my cousins, his wife and son – at the end of this month.

I can’t wait until Christmas is over and I can sit down with a glass or two of wine – relax and wait until New Years eve to get this year over with.

I’m counting down the days until we can pack up the moving truck, turn over the keys to the apartment we’re in now, and leave this small town.

Will we miss it? Sure. It’s been home for the last 5 years, but it’s not really “home”. Illinois is.

While we don’t want to move back to Chicago, we’ve been looking at some places at lease closer to it.

Closer to civilization, more varieties of stores and food places. Closer to friends and family we left behind when we moved to Minnesota years ago.

I’ve been looking for houses in Wisconsin – close to the Illinois border, and some houses in the suburbs of Illinois.

I think when we move, I’ll most miss the very little traffic we have here. I’ll miss the amazing people I’ve met here in Minnesota. I’ll miss going to have coffee with one of my good friends who I’ve become close to here. I’ll miss the school for sure and everyone in it.

I’ll miss the residents I have gotten close to in the facility I work in.

I’ll miss the beautiful night sky that shows the stars so brightly because there’s no tall buildings and no streetlights to stop them from shining brightly.

I’ll miss all the beautiful lakes.

I’ll miss all the good times we had in this apartment and around Minnesota.

So, yes – I’ll miss this place, but I’m also okay if I never see it again. ha.

I won’t miss how gossip spreads so fast here and how everyone is in each other’s business.

I won’t miss the lack of food spots, or stores. The dead mall where nobody goes anymore.

I won’t miss the 30-minute drives to the nearest bigger city and home, or how everything is miles or hours away.

I won’t miss struggling to not hit the deer on super dark roads with no lights at night.

I won’t miss the snow that falls in October sometimes.

I won’t miss the -30, -45-degree weather.

I won’t miss this building I live in, and all the craziness that comes with it.

I will miss the fact that this is the last place I saw my oldest child alive and well, but other than the things I will miss here – I’m ready to get the hell out of here once my youngest daughter graduates.

ESPECIALLY for a better chance at my dream career.

I’ve been looking and I’ve found some amazing houses – but who knows if they’ll be available when I’m ready? Part of me wants to try to buy a house in early February / March, so when we’re ready to move, we have somewhere set already, but part of me can’t afford rent and a mortgage.

This economy has me walking around like:

haha.

Seriously though – part of me feels like I need to start investing in something, and part of me feels like this economy is NOT “single mama friendly”.

I trust God, and his plan and that’s all I can do.

Ah. I just felt like writing tonight, and I’m about to head to bed because it’s only 8:30, but this mama is tired.

Maybe I’ll go finish reading CAUGHT UP.

If you haven’t read that book yet, it’s great, but you have to read – (LIGHTS OUT) – first, so you can understand (CAUGHT UP) and the relationships between the characters. Both books are by the amazing author “NAVESSA ALLEN”. ❤️ I’ll write about them as soon as I finish Caught up. I’m in the middle of it, and just haven’t had the time to finish because I’m always at work, or running errands, etc.

I just found out from a friend that Navessa now has a 3rd book, “GAME ON!”. Hold on girl. Let me get through the 2nd book. 😁

I like to buy and read books off of Kindle. It’s just easier.

So, let me sign off for the night, open my phone and try to finish this book.

I love you all. Stay warm if it’s cold where you are. Be safe. Behave, and Goodnight.

❤️Shel❤️