Tag: best-life

I’m here.

I’m here.

Shel R.5 Comments

It has been a while.

I know! I know!

I’ve been so busy working, picking up extra hours, saving money, trying to get everything aligned to maybe buy a house next year.

I’ve been trying to get my car paid off – as I don’t have much left to go, and getting it fixed because I’m still dealing with the headaches of either nobody knowing what’s wrong with it, or nobody wanting to touch it because it’s foreign and “complicated”. I’m also looking to trade this car in within the next year or less and get something bigger and better.

On top of dealing with working so much, saving money, and still – the car issues – I’ve been dealing with weeks of frustrations about the moving situation.

Months ago, I told my previous landlord we may move at the end of May when my daughter graduates.

We wanted to go back home to IL. or close to it. To friends. To family. To familiar places we love so much.

That didn’t work out, and I decided it was probably best to stay here for one more year – no matter how much we were looking forward to moving back or moving closer to IL. and everyone / everything we love.

I was a little surprised when my landlord messaged me and asked if I would be out by May 1st. I told him no, and that he was informed if we move – a big *IF* – We’d be out by May 31st. He replied and said he’d tell the new tenants they could move in – June 1st.

Um – what?!!!!

I never said we’d be moving for sure, and I let him know that I’d tell him for sure around the end of April, but he took it upon himself to get a deposit, first month rent and a new lease signed from whoever he claimed was moving in.

I know he hated empty apartments because he was losing money, and he always tried to rent out apartments fast. It didn’t matter to whom – he did no credit checks or background checks, and we’ve had our fair share of crazy, wild, people who were up to no good – living in the building – because he didn’t care who he rented to – as long as he had income coming in from each apartment.

So, I wasn’t surprised when he rented my apartment out that fast, and who knows if he was telling the truth or not, but he was ready to have someone move in – from what I heard. I told him that’s not how it works, and he told me, “That is how it works. I’m not renewing your lease. You said a few times you were moving or wanted to!”. I told him no, I said I MIGHT move, and yes, I want to – but we weren’t for sure.

I also let him know my lease goes until 2027 – if I decided to stay.

He said he already has new tenants moving in, and I knew he didn’t want to give them their money back if that was the case.

He ended up selling the building to these new landlords we have now. (A sweet young couple). I felt so bad for them because this is their first ever residential property they’ve owned, and they had to walk into this mess that the previous landlord left behind. So many things need to be repaired, and the husband and I have talked – and he has said if he knew everything he was walking into, they may have thought twice about buying the building.

On top of the building being neglected for so long by our previous landlord, and the new landlords having to fix it all up, now they were dealing with this issue of me not moving until next year, my lease going until 2027, and them feeling like their hands were tied because they felt like they had to honor the leases and the landlords new tenants that he supposedly had moving into my unit.

I let them know that if they had to honor the leases, again – mine goes until 2027.

They were unsure what to do, so I did what I had to do and contacted a lawyer – just to get a legal take on the matter.

The lawyer asked for my lease. I sent it to her. She looked it over.

It was plain and simple.

After putting facts together, she said the new landlords had three options.

………Let me stay another year because my lease doesn’t expire until May 2027.

………Try to take me to court at the end of May of this year and the judge will say the same thing the lawyer is saying and dismiss the case because I have every right to stay if I want to – with the lawyer also letting me know that this won’t cost me any money. It will cost the new landlords money to try to take me to court for something that will be thrown out, and all it will cost me – is time off work to show up.

or

………The lawyer said the new landlords could honor the lease the previous landlord just signed with the new tenants if there really are new ones, and write me a check for $5,000 for my moving costs, as well as giving me my deposit back the same day as the apartment walk-through – as long as it’s clean and in good condition.

These options were told to the new landlords, and I know they have no fault in this matter for the headaches the previous landlord was causing, but they were in it now and had to deal with it, since they are the new owners of the building.

The husband and I had a great conversation after weeks of back-and-forth on this topic, and me having a lawyer to stand with me on this, and the husband apologized. I told him he had nothing to apologize for because the previous landlord caused all of this and not him or his wife. He said whatever he does – he believes in God, walks by faith, makes all his decisions in faith, and absolutely doesn’t want to go to court over this issue.

He agreed my lease goes until 2027, I have no lease violations, my rent is up to date, and there’s no reason to try to make me move earlier, so – he said he was allowing me to stay – which is legally my right anyway. After weeks of that nonsense and trying to figure that out – it all worked out and I’m grateful. 💕

The previous landlord?

There’s so much I could sit here and write when it comes to him and all the drama, craziness, nonsense and weirdness he has caused – not only with me – but other tenants who seem to be sharing their stories with the new landlords as well. I’m not the only one who has had issues for years with the previous landlord – and it makes me feel better because others are grateful that we have new owners as well.

Our previous landlord – he was something else, but I’m not here to bash the guy, and I won’t sit and write all the crazy, wild, off-the-wall stories I have of harassment, drama, and his lack of professionalism. I don’t think he was a bad guy, but he had a lot of his own issues.

I’m not here to mess up his reputation, and I hope that man gets his act together and treats people better.

That’s all I can say.

At the end of the day, even if my car issues aren’t figured out and I have a million other things on my plate – and on my mind – at least the moving situation is figured out, and we’ll be staying here for one more year.

Do I want to deal with another Minnesota Winter that goes from October sometimes – all the way through April? Hell no.

I am happy that we don’t have to hire movers right now or rent a moving truck – continue to pack up and have this deadline hanging over our heads now. 🤗

I feel like because the previous landlord knew that some tenants spoke up against him and the way he was – he caused issues for those of us who didn’t stay quiet, and I look back now on this whole moving situation where he tried to force me out, and I feel like it’s true when the Bible says:

Again, in all fairness, I did tell him I planned to move, so maybe he was just trying to fill the place fast in case the building didn’t sell, and he’d have money coming in from this apartment again right away.

I never knew what his intentions were because they were always changing, but – that chapter of my life is over, and we don’t have to deal with him anymore.

I hope God blesses that man and his family and takes care of them – because I do also know and I can also say – that it wasn’t always bad with him. Yes, there was more bad than good – but there were times we had decent conversations, and I remember one time telling him, “You are too young to be this stressed out! Go have a drink and relax!”.

I remember one time when he called me randomly and told me, “I’m not an asshole like you think I am!”. I laughed a bit because I have no idea where that came from and wondered if he was just at home and thinking about me speaking out against all the repairs he didn’t make, or the way he treats his tenants or what!

That call made me giggle as well.

Anyway, pray for me because I’m here another year, but God is good and I also know it’s a blessing and gives me more time to save for a down payment on a house.

I never wanted to own a house as I’ve said before because of all the headaches that go into it, but I think it’s time. I want my own washer and dryer without having to worry about who is doing laundry when I need to. I want my own driveway, so I don’t have to worry about anyone being parked in my spot when I come home.

I want my own backyard, so my kids can go outside without worrying if someone is going to fly in or out of the parking lot.

My life is far from perfect, and I handle every curve ball it throws at me with faith and grace.

I always say that even if God doesn’t answer my prayers the way I want him to, he answers in ways that he knows he needs to – and that fit his plans for me and my little family. So, if it’s meant to be next year – it will be. If not, it is what it is!

Besides the moving issue and the car still not working properly – let’s talk prom!

My daughter is all signed up to go.

She needed $40 for her prom ticket, and I gave her that.

She told me students have to be there at 5 PM, and parents are allowed to go in for the Grand March and photos at 6. I’m totally going to be there and I can’t wait! 💕

I thought she was going to wear her red dress again that I got her a few months ago for Winter formal.

That dress was $260.

This teenager of mine tells me a few days ago, “I can’t wear that dress again! They’ve already seen me in it. I need a long gown type of dress. It’s prom”. Her dream dress is a black sparkling dress.

We went yesterday to a place that has decently priced prom dresses, but they didn’t have her size.

It took her forever to try on 5 dresses, and as I stood there looking around right by the dressing room area, I smiled a bit when a woman in her 40’s or early 50’s came out and asked if I would zip up a dress in the back for her.

I told her it’s beautiful on her – after I zipped it up. She thanked me and kept on trying on dresses and coming out to show her daughter – who came by the dressing room area, and this woman was looking in the 4 mirrors the shop had.

She was upset because she ripped one of the dresses as she was trying it on, and she was upset because no matter what her daughter (or myself) told her, she announced that she hates this because she’s too old to be trying on things and expecting them to fit.

My heart broke for her because she didn’t even realize how perfect she was in my eyes, and I saw absolutely nothing wrong with her. 🥺 She was fit. She had tanned glowing skin. Her hair was amazing. She had a great figure, and she looked beautiful in those dresses she was trying on. Her teenage daughter giggled about how picky she was being, and I almost wanted to knock her daughter upside the head when her daughter went to the mirror and started complaining about “flaws” on her own face.

“Ew. Why is this disgusting? Why is this like that?”. Her words to herself as she looked at her reflection.

I wanted to tell the mother and daughter how perfect they are, and how I’d love to look like either of them or wish I could trade bodies / body parts with them because sometimes – I dislike my own, so I get it. To me – they were perfect. To themselves – they saw all the flaws they hated.

It made me realize that each of us has something about ourselves we dislike or hate, and we never know who looks at us in this world and thinks we’re perfect, when we can’t see it ourselves. Who looks at us and says, “She’s beautiful”, when we see something totally different in the mirror? Who looks at us and says, “I wish I had her curves, her hair, her eyes” – when we look in the mirror and see all the things we would love to change about ourselves.

It’s sad honestly.

There is always someone out there who looks at you and thinks you’re amazing, so we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves and pick apart our flaws, but that’s what all of us do, isn’t it?!

So, when my daughter said she was fat and she’ll never find a dress to fit her – I was aggravated and told her about that mother and daughter complaining about themselves inside of the store – when I saw perfection. How we can be our own toughest critics sometime, and there’s people out there that look at others, want to be them, be like them or look like them – while we can’t see it in ourselves because we’re too busy being our own biggest haters.

I told my daughter how perfect she is. How she’s not fat – she’s Latina and curvy.

How beautiful she is and how many girls wish they looked like her.

How I would love to have her figure and I’d rock it if I was her.

How I wish I looked half as good as she does.

And then – I found myself being my own critic and biggest hater again. Picking apart my own flaws again.

It’s sometimes a sad pattern that many of us deal with and if you say you don’t – you’re lying!

We all have something about ourselves we don’t like, and that’s okay – but don’t let it bring you down!

Embrace whatever you don’t like about you, screw the world if they don’t like what they see, and never forget to compliment others when you can – because it may just make them feel so much better about themselves and the things they dislike.

You never know!

Be the reason someone sees themselves differently today! 💕

I always try to give compliments whenever I can, because it may change someone’s whole way of thinking about themselves.

My daughter and I had the talk about self-confidence and seeing herself in a different way, and how I won’t give up finding her the perfect prom dress before next week – even if I have to pay another $260. I didn’t want to, but if it makes her feel beautiful and she finds the dress she loves, I’m going to go above and beyond.

Thankfully, I was worried about also buying her a graduation dress, but she asked if it’s okay if she wears her favorite flowered summer dress for graduation, and it’s adorable. I absolutely agreed to that, and I’m grateful I don’t have to spend even more money on another dress in a few weeks.

So, the prom dress hunt continues, and I ask for all of your prayers as I go crazy over this one. lol.

She also dropped it upon me today that her friend’s mom wants to come over and hang out with me as our daughters get ready here at my house – like they did for Winter formal. She wants to take photos and have fun with us, and I won’t stop her from doing that. I think she has every right to be here watching her daughter get ready and seeing all the fun the girls have here at my house as they do so.

It’s supposed to be my daughter, and three of her other friends, and I’m looking forward to all the beautiful photos, and excitement that night as they do get ready here.

If you want to giggle – they were all going to go as the “Men in Black” characters.

They were all going to show up in Black dresses with black sunglasses on. 🤣

However, one of the girls found a gold dress, and they all decided not to do the MEN IN BLACK idea.

This journey has been amazing – watching my daughter start 7th grade here at this school when we moved to Minnesota, all the way until now – her Senior year. Seeing all the friends she has made. All the memories she has made. All the extra “adopted children” I now have and call my own because everybody knows at that school – that I’m EVERYBODY’S MAMA! 😁 All the crazy nights of homework and late studying. All the tests. All the high school drama she comes home and tells me about.

I’ll remember it all.

All the “lasts” that are now here – as this chapter of her life comes to an end soon.

I thought her Winter formal was her last dance, and I totally forgot about prom, but this is it.

The very last dance, and then – in a few weeks – cap and gown!

To the Class of 2026 – may all your dreams come true, may life be gentle on you, and may you get to do everything and anything you want to do.

Make life fun. Make lots of memories and be kind to everyone you meet.

As for me – in my own life – I’m just taking it one day at a time, trying to get my daughter graduated and onto the next chapter of her life (EMS classes) / college and preparing for our mini-road trip to IL. in a few weeks.

Love you!

💕Shel💕

A little piece of my world.

A little piece of my world.

Shel R.Leave a comment

The kids are asleep.

The animals are asleep.

Me?

Not happening.

Do I have sleep meds? I do.

Do I want to take one? I probably should, but maybe I’m not ready to go to sleep just yet.

A little update on my life at the moment……

Bro:

    My brother decided to block me again.

He does this whenever I call him out on his B.S. or tell him something he doesn’t want to hear. He does this when I speak the truth and when I tell him what a jerk he’s been to the people who have truly been there for him in the last year, and who really love him and care about him.

He does this whenever a new woman comes into his life and he gets angry when I don’t agree with the amount of effort and time he’s putting into a new woman or women – and barely sees his kids, so I hold him accountable.

He does this whenever he feels like I’m taking the side of his ex-wife, when in reality – I just know how it feels to be a single mother with very little help and doing it all alone much of / all of the time.

He’s blocked me many times before in the last two years, and then he’ll come running back and apologize – only for us to talk for a few months and me to allow him back into my life thinking we can heal from his little temper tantrums and be close again – and then he blocks me again once I call him out again or say something he doesn’t like.

Recently, it was about how he was taking his new “woman” to play mini golf, and I simply stated that I’m sure his kids would like to do that as well. I asked why he doesn’t take them to do something fun – instead of going out to eat and taking them right back to their mother, and I asked him when he plans to find out if he can see his newborn kid from his last fiancée that just ended things with him months ago – before he jumped into this new relationship he has now.

My brother NEEDS someone in his life at all times, and he’ll jump from woman to woman, and this one he’s with now – is an ex from his past many – many – many years ago. She’s also the same one who stood in front of my grandma’s house screaming and disrespecting my grandma’s house a long time ago – because my brother refused to talk to her.

So, that’s where we’re at right now.

He blocked me again because he didn’t like what I had to say, and this time – he burned the last little bit of a bridge he had left with me. I can’t do it anymore. I’m done.

I love him dearly, but from now on – it will be from a distance and sadly, I’m at the point where if he and I never speak again, I’m okay with it. I’ll miss him, but we have plenty of great memories I’ll forever cherish, and I just have to accept that now – it is what it is!

One of my favorite producers / actors – is Tyler Perry. I’m sure you know his “Madea” character, right? In one of his Madea plays – he / she says:

“If someone wants to walk out of your life…..LET. THEM. GO!”. 🧐

I’m not begging anyone to stay in my life.

I’m not asking anyone any questions about why they want to walk out of my life or block me.

I’m not crying over anyone leaving.

I’m too old for that back and forth mess. If you want to go – GO! See ya. Bye. Adios!

How does the saying go?

“Don’t let the door hit ya – where the good Lord split ya?”.

I’ll be ok!

I’m not one to stay silent or tell someone what they WANT to hear. I’m always honest and real, and if I tell you what you NEED to hear and then you don’t want to hear my opinions or thoughts – that’s a YOU issue.

If you can’t handle the truth – that’s not my issue.

He has recently moved in with his new fiancé and if I’m being honest, I feel like she’s his meal ticket. He’s using her for a place to stay because he went through all of his money, and maybe she’s using him to help her with rent. Who the hell knows?!

He wanted to introduce my nephews to this new woman, and I didn’t agree with him. He’s constantly changing who he is with, and I feel like my nephews shouldn’t be dragged into the life of my brother and his different women every few months. I asked my brother to wait this time – until they’ve been together for a year at least, and he didn’t want to – because he “loves her”. He’s loved the last 3 women he’s been with over the last few months as well.

See how crazy that sounds? That’s how I try to get him to see it, and he won’t.

I love him. I said it and I’ll say it again, but he can keep me blocked because I’m over it. There won’t be anymore bringing him back into my life because we do this over and over and over, and once I speak my mind or a new female enters his life – he forgets everything I’ve done for him. Everything his ex-wife and her family has done for him. He forgets family and good friends, and anyone who actually gives a damn.

This is nothing new, so I just pray for his happiness, peace and that one day – he grows the hell up.

It breaks my heart just a little because we always used to say we were “Bad boys for life! We ride together – we die together” …. just like Mike and Marcus from the Bad Boys movies. We used to argue over which one of us was Mike. I used to tell him I was Mike because I was always saving his ass, looking out for him and I was the protector and he was Marcus because he was always messing something up or getting us into some shit.

Unfortunately, the funny memories are all I have now, and a brother who has burned his last piece of the bridge with me.

     *****

Moving:

I’m still looking for places to move to, and I have come to realize that IL. is probably not an option anymore.

I’ve heard they are raising taxes like crazy, trying to tax people for the craziest things now, and rent / home buying prices are outrageous that way.

So, I’ve found a few places out in Wisconsin – closer to civilization and with stores, and restaurants close by. I found places in Iowa! Yes! You read that correctly. Iowa! I’m not against moving somewhere completely new – still within just a few hours of Illinois. So, the search continues and I know that time is going by so quickly, so I need to really be out there looking.

My lease expires here at the end of May, and my landlord has already found new people to take over because I told him months ago we’d probably be out in May. Rent here is going up, and if he doesn’t sell this building like he’s trying to, I don’t even want to be here anymore with all the issues I’ve had here.

While I love my apartment now, it’s just a headache with some of the things that people here have dealt with. That I’ve dealt with.

Hell! I’ve thought about going somewhere warm and starting in a totally new state, such as Florida or Vegas, but those prices are insane as well, and it’s so far from home – warm weather or not, I probably won’t be happy anywhere else but a few hours from IL.

The search continues and I trust God to bring us to the perfect new place we’re going to live – with more opportunities and many different varieties of places. 🩵

New niece:

I’ll be sending my new niece the cute things I got her later today, and praying that her mother reaches out to me – to let me get to know Ella.

Even if my brother has someone new and totally forgot he has a newborn, I’m still an Auntie and I still love that baby and want to see her grow up.

I hope to have an update in a week or so and be able to say that her mother did reach out and I have photos of Ella, and that I get to see her when I go visit IL. again, but even if her mother decides not to reach out because she wants nothing to do with my brother – at least I know I did the right thing and sent some stuff for my new niece, and I’ll continue to do so as she grows.

****

Weather:

It’s been in the 40’s and 50’s all week, and I thought we were getting lucky and about to have an early Spring.

Mother nature lied! 😒🤣

We just got slammed with a Blizzard yesterday.

I should have known better though. It’s Minnesota!!!

Schools were cancelled today.

I have to drive in this stuff in the morning.

The kids go back to school, and I told one of the lead staff members at work – that I’d pick up her Thursday and Friday shifts.

It made me laugh because she does the scheduling and scheduled herself for four days in a row – only to realize she couldn’t handle that.

Listen! I don’t mind more money on my next check.

I actually love my job, and I said that before as well.

When you find a job you love – it doesn’t even feel like you’re going to work. ❤️

Work:

Work is going great!

I had to giggle a bit because the tenants that live in the facility I work in – have nothing to do.

They’re so bored, so they drink. They get into trouble. They act up. They argue. They fight.

What made me laugh?

My son and I work every weekend, so we decided we were going to start playing games with them on the weekends. We’ll either bring in games we have at our house, or play games they have at the facility, but we want to do something with them – so they have other things to do – other than what they’ve been doing or besides getting drunk.

We can usually tell what kind of day we’re going to have – just by who leaves with bookbags, and who we know is coming back with alcohol and sharing with others. Sad, but true!

So, if we’re playing games with them or entertaining them – they may not want to go to the liquor store, or go to each other’s rooms and get wasted, or whatever they do in those rooms.

I’ve talked to a few of them, and they were excited to start game days on the weekends when my son and I are both there.

One of them had me laughing when he suggested “drunk twister”. I told him I would absolutely NOT be bringing twister to work, especially when they’re drinking. He smiled and asked, “Why not?”.

My reply: “Because I don’t need lead staff pulling me into the office on a Monday – asking why the entire police department was here over the weekend!”.

He was laughing, but he knows damn well I’m not doing no contact games when half of them don’t even like each other. Add alcohol to the mix if they’ve been drinking, it can go all wrong.

Part of me wanted to suggest they get a pool table because a lot of the tenants’ think that would be a lot of fun, but then again – I don’t need anyone beating each other with pool sticks or worse, and lead staff coming and asking me why I thought a pool table would be a great idea. lol.

I love these tenants. I really do – but it’s iffy what we can do with them – to entertain them, and what we can’t.

Still, I’m confident my son and I will figure things out to do for fun, and to make their weekends worth it when we’re both there and have eyes on everything.

I always joke that they’re all like my adult children and it makes them laugh, but we seriously do have to keep an eye on everyone and everything that goes on at this facility because one moment – everything can be chill, relaxing, nothing going on – and the next minute – you have a full brawl at one end of the hallway, someone drunk and stumbling into walls at the other end, and someone throwing things on the other side.

I still love my job!

****

Health kick:

I have eaten healthy junk all day and I’m in a bad mood because of it!

ha.

Just kidding, but seriously – I know I need to start getting healthy, eating better, feeling better, etc. and I started earlier.

I was supposed to do so days ago, and we all know that didn’t work out.

I lost the key to my treadmill that turns it on. (Great safety feature if you have kids). So, I’ll find that later today and use it for what it’s supposed to be used for – rather than to hold my clean clothes that need to be hung up. 🤣 I’m so serious this time, and really plan to lose weight, get fit again, and enjoy life this year.

I’ve been in a funk for too long and it’s time to get myself back together and be the old me again.

The one who laughed a lot. The one who was motivated and happy before I lost my oldest years ago.

It’s been too long and I’m ready to get back to the best version of myself and stop this pity party of mine.

Loves.

I’d write so much more because I can’t sleep, but my battery on my laptop is about to die, and I’m about to enjoy a glass of wine to see if that helps me sleep.

Love ya!

Goodnight.

Sleep well darlings.

❤️Shel❤️