Tag: jobs

Confessions of a one-time “hater”. (Guilty), and some funny work stories.

Confessions of a one-time “hater”. (Guilty), and some funny work stories.

Shel R.2 Comments

So, I have a confession to make, and I’m a little embarrassed by it.

However – we grew through tough times and make mistakes – that teach us valuable lessons in life, right?

One of our lead staff members was demoted a month ago, and she ended up finding a new job, so her position was available.

She cleaned out her office, and she was on her way to her new job.

That means – her position was open, and anyone could apply.

I’m not sure who else did, but I know I did. I interviewed for it a few weeks ago.

My co-worker (who has only been there for three weeks) interviewed for it, and so did another co-worker at the last minute. The other co-worker was too young, so they didn’t think she’d be a good fit.

Other than those other two, I don’t know if there was anyone else who tried to get it, but my boss kept telling me she hasn’t decided yet and would let us know soon.

I got a call last week from the boss and she was beating around the bush, making small talk, and so slow about just telling me, “Hey, you didn’t get it”. She eventually got there, and she told me that I was such a strong candidate, and that – if any other lead staff position opened up – she’d let me know first.

She felt bad, but I told her it was totally fine, thanked her for calling and handled it with grace. I wasn’t mat at her, and while I was a little disappointed because the pay is better, and I could make my own hours – as well as having my own office to decorate – (which I’ve always wanted), I decided maybe there was something better out there for me.

I felt like she found someone more experienced – who qualified more than I did, and I was okay with that.

However, I then found out it was the co-worker who has only been there for three weeks – that got the lead staff position. That was promoted for that spot. That got the office I was so ready to take and decorate. That was about to do the job I was looking forward to learning and getting into.

The fact that she hasn’t even been there for that long bothered me, and I’ve been working my ass off for this facility, coming in when others can’t sometimes, and proving myself to my boss. Everyone there loves me, and I love everyone there. I get along with everyone, and this woman who just got there three weeks ago – gets promoted and gets to join lead staff! Um, excuse me……but what?!

Not only was I confused when I found out she got it, but then I was hearing from different people that it’s favoritism and what some told me was called (Nepotism). The act of favoring friends and family in professional, political, or business settings – rather than merit or those who deserve what those family and friends get.

Rumor had it that this woman who got the position – is a family member of my boss’s ex-husband. Of course, that didn’t sit well with me, but it made sense as to why she would get the position.

Still, it bothered me.

I congratulated her when I saw her. I tried to be happy for her and tell her I think she’d do well. I tried not to let it bother me in front of her.

Yesterday, I came into work, and she wasn’t supposed to be there. I walked in and she says, “There you are!”. Supposedly, she thought she had to work until 9 AM because someone told her I didn’t get in until 9 AM on weekdays. I told her that’s only on Fridays. I usually come in at 7 AM, and she decided to say since she’s punched in already, she may as well go check out her new office while she has the chance.

I’m sure she was trying to rub it in my face, and she knew I was looking to get that position, so I just kind of gave her a:

kind of look – smiled, and told her, “Sounds good!”.

I giggled when one of our other lead staff members whispered to me, “She’s not even supposed to be here or clocked in right now! Now, she’s checking out her office?”.

I wondered if she came in while I was working – just to do exactly what I felt like she was doing.

Throwing it my face.

She said 3 more times as she did random things around the main office – how she was going to check out her office. Okay, so go! Why do you keep mentioning it?! I didn’t say that though, but I did find it wild how she had to keep announcing it – like she was expecting a celebration or something.

I found it really hard yesterday to be happy for her, and I felt bad about it – but then again – I didn’t. I wanted to know what skills – what degrees – what knowledge she had – over me and why she was chosen instead of myself.

When I found out from her – that she’s a two-time felon, has court dates still coming up, is on years of probation for her Criminal activities, and has no degrees – my mind was so boggled. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Seriously – why – did my boss pick her over me?

I’m the one with two degrees in Criminal justice and no criminal history.

So, I felt some kind of way while I was sitting in the main office and trying to let it go.

Not to mention that as she was decorating her office or doing whatever she was doing on the other side of the building where it is – she kept going back and forth – walking in and out of – and through the main office where I was. There was no reason for it because all lead staff usually goes around the main office to get to either side, so her walking through it – irritated me a bit as she kept doing it, and then – doing my job for me as I was sitting there as well.

She kept reaching over me, going around me, and dealing with things I was supposed to be dealing with.

Do you want to decorate and check out your new office that you’ve mentioned multiple times now, or do you want to do my job and be in the main office – because you can’t do both!

Let me be fair and say that I woke up emotional yesterday because it was rainy, gloomy and cold outside, and my first thought when I woke up – was my oldest child who passed. Pain comes in waves, right? Yesterday, the waves came with the rain and it just hit me out of nowhere, so I cried a bit in the morning, and didn’t even want to go to work, but I knew I needed the money, and I dragged my ass out of bed – to the shower, back to the room to get dressed, to my car, and into work anyway.

Feeling emotional about my oldest and then dealing with this co-worker at work who I then find out has a criminal background, and all this other stuff going on, but got the job instead of me – it was a lot that early in the morning.

I made myself a cup of coffee, tried to ignore whatever she was doing or saying, and I tried to go on with my day as normal, but as I was sitting there talking to one of the residents who I’m so cool with – we were talking about if I got the job or not.

He knew I applied. I told him no, and I told him I didn’t know why, but we discussed the situation, and just like I’m always there for the residents in the facility I work in – I tried to do the same thing yesterday, but he ended up being there for me instead – as tears fell from my eyes.

You know those times you really want to cry, and you try so hard to hold it in, but they just do their own thing sometimes and flow? That’s what happened! As much as I tried to hold them in, they fell and I grabbed a tissue and quickly wiped my eyes.

I’ll call this guy “Paco”. Paco and I sat there talking for almost an hour and he kept telling me how wrong it was that I didn’t get it, especially because all the residents know that while many of the lead staff and others come to work for the money, there are three main people who go above and beyond and show that they really give a damn about the residents. Me, My son, and the nurse there.

He then told me, “Listen. I know how you’re feeling, but I just want you to know how proud I am of you right now. You didn’t get the position. Someone who shouldn’t have got it – got it – and you’re still here. You’re still standing. You’re still trying to be positive and show us so much love, and do your thing while you’re here, and I guarantee you – God has a plan!”.

He was telling me that there’s a high turnover rate in that place, and the way the place treats their best employees – is why they can’t keep their best employees. I told him I was hurt, angry, and that I love the residents so much, that I want to stay, but – there’s just some things that go on there that I don’t agree with, and this might have just pushed me over the edge to find something better.

He agreed with me and told me how he feels about that place, and how every time he tries to say something about whatever goes on there – they threaten to kick him out. He then told me he wouldn’t blame me if I left, but that he’d miss me and he would hope I left for something so much better because I deserve it, and I deserved that position.

I think what really got to me yesterday – was feeling like my college degrees and me having a clean background – meant nothing at that moment, and I needed to know why. Like all the hard work I’ve done in school for four years to earn my degrees and then working my ass off in this facility for a long time now – meant nothing, and it killed me knowing she has felonies, and only 3 weeks at the job – and she got it.

I’m just being totally vulnerable and honest right now.

I was not okay yesterday morning – emotionally or mentally – over not only my oldest – but over this situation as well, and it didn’t sit right with me.

Residents weren’t happy I didn’t get it.

One of our other lead staff was bothered I didn’t get it.

I just felt betrayed.

So, I eventually asked my boss if I could talk to her, and we went into her office.

I asked why it was given to this co-worker and how I felt about it because of her background and her time at the job, and my boss looked at me and asked if I wanted an honest answer, or what. Of course!

Did I get any real answers? No.

Instead, she sugar-coated it and told me that the rumors about the woman being related to her ex-husband are not true and she never saw her a day in her life – until she came to the job to apply. The face on other staff members faces when I said she denied knowing the woman – was hilarious, but it told me everything I think I know.

She then went on to say that she doesn’t think it’s the right role for me, and she sees me doing something so much higher, better – and that because I have my degrees and no criminal background – she “envisions” something else for me.

She stated that things are always changing at the company, so she wants to consider me for something in a higher-up position. She told me that one of the women who runs the buildings in different areas (there’s multiple) applied for a few different positions and was turned down, before she was finally offered a seat on one of the highest levels there is, and now she’s doing amazing and runs things.
Not to get discouraged.

She went on and on and tried to make me feel better, but I wasn’t okay with her answers, because she still wasn’t telling me what qualifications this other woman had – that would make her more qualified than myself.

And – as a boss – I guess she felt like she didn’t have to.

Do I believe they don’t know each other? No.

Still, I couldn’t do anything about it, so I simply told my boss I wasn’t feeling it yesterday, I was going home, and I asked her to be okay with that, and she was. She totally supported my decision to not be at work yesterday, and she had this co-worker of mine who was supposed to be busy checking out her office but kept walking through the main office – sit in the main office when I left, and this co-worker of mine – was not happy about it.

I did leave. I did take the day off yesterday, and I got my mind right, and pulled myself together.

I thanked Paco – one of our best residents there – for letting me have my bad day, and for talking me through it.

I thank my son – because sometimes – we’re each other’s voice of reason, and yesterday – he was mine.

He knew what happened and he told me:

“Mom, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise you didn’t get it. It seems like anything the boss doesn’t want to deal with – it goes to that side, and maybe our boss didn’t want you to have to take on that load. Maybe she knows the position is stressful, exhausting, and comes with a hell of a lot of responsibilities, and she didn’t want to give that all to you!”.

He said:

“Maybe she does have something else better and bigger in mind for you. Maybe someone is leaving and we don’t know about it yet, and she plans to put you in that position. Maybe there’s a reason you didn’t get this position and there’s something else out there for you that is going to pop up.

The universe knows what it’s doing, and you have to trust it. Look how stressed out and irritated our last Resident advocate was, and how she was more than happy to find something else, so you don’t think ol’ girl is going to be stressed out? Plus, she has to pick up all the days that someone can’t come in, and eventually – she’s going to be stressed out about that – and get tired of it! Take it as a blessing!”.

My kid made me smile the way he was trying to make me feel better and be that voice of reason.

Knowing I wasn’t going to get any real answers from my boss, I just left and made sure she was okay with me taking the day off. My son was using my car, so he came to pick me up when I called him, and we went to Starbucks – because I deserved it. ha.

I still felt like a big baby yesterday after I left.

I still felt like I was a “hater” yesterday, and I hate haters, so to feel like I was one yesterday – bothers me now, but I think I had every right to feel the way I did. No matter what.

And then – when I came home and really thought about it, I felt like maybe our boss put her in that position to help her. She’s on probation and she has court dates, so maybe our boss felt like it would look good in court coming up – if she got this promotion and she’s doing something as a lead staff member. My boss did say she believes in 2nd changes, and helping other people, so maybe that was her reason for giving it to her.

I’d like to think my boss knows my two degrees and no criminal history – is going to get me further than that position I wanted, but she knows that this woman needed all the help she could get, and helped her do anything to show the courts she’s on the right track, and if that’s the case – then I’m okay with it.

Everyone keeps saying this job is already going to this woman’s head, and that’s the one thing I can’t deal with. If you’re in a position of power – stay humble, because it could all be taken away so fast. Never think you’re above anyone, and as long as she stays humble, I have nothing else to say.

Do I feel like it should have been me? Yes.

But – maybe God knew she needed it more than I did.

I will also say that she could easily be bothered that I have two criminal justice degrees, and plan to become a probation officer if God allows it. She was going to school to become a probation officer before the felonies, and now – she has to do something different with her life, so maybe God knew I didn’t need the position because I have a wider range of career options, and she’s limited.

I trust God, and I don’t know fully why I wasn’t given it, but I do know I acted out of character yesterday, I’m truly sorry for it, and now – I feel like getting her a cute decoration / gift for her new office. 😘I’m always uplifting other woman, so the fact that I was a hater yesterday, I do feel guilty about it, and the fact that I went to my boss – I am embarrassed, but I needed to know why and I needed to get my feelings off my chest.

It made me giggle when she said it shows maturity that I’m able to come and sit down – talk with her and be respectful at the same time.

I mean – what was I going to do?

Go in there, yell, threaten her, throw things?! lol.

You know what that reminds me of? 🤣 If you’ve never seen the hilarious movie “GIRLS TRIP” – with Tiffany Haddish, Regina Hall, Queen Latifah, and Jada Pinkett Smith – you must!

Tiffany Haddish goes into her boss’s office to talk about her snack someone keeps taking out of the break room fridge and her behavior about it, and her boss tries to let her go, but she won’t accept that.

I wasn’t going to go into my boss’s office and misbehave or get crazy, and she wasn’t letting me go.

In fact, she told me they love me there and she hopes I still want to stay.

And –

Thank you, Starbucks – for being there for me in my time of needing you yesterday. 🤣I’m addicted to those damn Dubai Chocolate bites they have.

Listen.

I love my boss. I have nothing bad to say about her – even now.

She’s easier to talk to. She’s there when I need to talk. She’s understanding.

Not many bosses would let me say, “I’m not feeling this today. I’m leaving” and be totally fine with it, but she also understood why.

So, she made her decision, and it is what it is.

I don’t know if this co-worker of mine will be able to handle this job humbly, or with grace – or at all – because she already seems stressed out, but – I’m over being a hater, and I wish her the best, and hope that she enjoys her office and her new position.

I am rooting for her changing her life and doing bigger and better things because I believe in 2nd chances as well, and I do hope she’s amazing at her new position.

Maybe there is something bigger and better out there for me, and maybe my boss did think I was too good for this position and deserve more, but I’m just going to suck it up, continue to do my best, and come through for my residents – the way they expect me to. 💕

As for all of you out there – if you wanted that promotion or job you didn’t get – if you didn’t get into the college you wanted to get into, if you didn’t get picked for a sports team, If you didn’t get to take that trip you wanted to take – or whatever disappoint life throws at you – take it a blessing and know that God has something better in mind, and I trust that.

**********************

Besides that little bit of setback at work – let me share some funnies with you because a lot of you like my work stories! 😁

I have another co-worker who can both work my nerves and make me giggle sometimes.

She works in a different area of the building, so when she sneaks her way into the main office and sits down to chat with me for the longest – while I’m trying to do 10 other things – I joke with her and demand her back to her own area. She laughs about it, totally ignores me and continues to work my nerves – playfully.

I was leaning back in my chair relaxing with nothing to do one day last week, and she snuck in and shook the back of the chair, yelling – “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”. It’s a scene from FINDING NEMO in case you don’t know, and I yelled out, “FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?”.

We both laughed so much.

It may not have been exactly like we said it, but we both knew the references we were talking about, and we both got each other’s references right away.

Another day last week – she, one of the lead staff that I’ll call “Delilah”, and I – were in the main office talking. We had a day where there were cops in and out for different situations going on, so with one of the situations – this one tall, beautiful man (a cop) – had to come into the building, and then as he stood in the hallway, us gals drooled over him. 🤣

Delilah said she wants to ask him what she can do to get arrested, so he has a reason to touch her.

And – she’s lead staff! (I love our crew).

I had to laugh so much and joked with her to leave MY man alone. I asked if she wanted to fight for him. She says, “Hell yeah! Let’s go outside!”. I was leaving anyway because my shift was over, so she and I walked outside together, right past the cop as he dealt with the situation, and when he was done – she and I were standing by the curb talking – minding our business and he left.

The next day – my co-worker who works in the different area and likes to sneak into the office to annoy me – comes into the office and tells me, “I want that hot cop to come back. I saw you try to rub against him as he was leaving!”. I laughed and told her, “Um – I was just standing there! He brushed up against me!”.

It’s very true.

That cop was leaving that day, and I don’t know if he did it on accident or purpose, but I felt the side of him lightly brush up against my back as I stood there talking to my co-worker – Delilah. 😁

Point is – I adore many of my co-workers and I absolutely love this job – besides yesterday’s minor issue.

I love the residents as well, as I’ve mentioned.

So, we have a guy I’ll call “OG”.

OG loves coming to see me when I’m working and he always makes me laugh.

We joke around often. He’s an older guy in his late 50’s / early 60’s I believe, and over the weekend – he came down to the main office and asked me to look up the last name of his visitor. I joked that he’s letting people in without knowing their last names, and he smiled this big cheesy smile.

He said he met her at the Casino the night before and brought her back there.

One side of our building can have visitors outside only, and the other side – can bring visitors inside and up to their mini-apartments and he did that. I looked up the visitor log and told him the last name, and he says, “Thanks! I don’t want to get any one confused!”. PLAYER! 🙄🤣 He’s hilarious though!

For my residents – for this job I love – for the co-workers I admire and get along with so well – for the help I give, and they know I’ll go above and beyond for any of them – I’m going to continue to smile, to show up, to be there do the best damn job I can – promotions or not.

So, I confess that I was a one-day hater, I’m over it, I feel guilty about it, and we all go through it when life hands us disappointments, but again – maybe she feels the same way about me having two degrees and being able to do the job she also wanted to do in the future (probation), if I do get there.

I think sometimes – we all have a bit of envy in us, and it’s our job to let it control us or control it, and I decided to control it, be happy for her, and just be there if she needs anything – because she does deserve a 2nd chance and this will look good for her in court and being on probation – so I wish her well.

That being said – I’m out of here. 💕

XOXO.

🤗Shel🤗

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

A jot before bed. Sweet dreams!

Shel R.6 Comments

I must apologize for my lack of writing lately.

I’ve been so busy.

Between searching for our new home, getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, and work – life has been kicking my ass.

I’ve also been helping several other teenagers with their work that many of them are behind on. (My daughter’s friends).

I want to see them all graduate and they’re all like my own kids. Many of them call me “Mom”, and have for years, so I don’t mind helping them. I want to see them walk across the stage, just like I can’t wait to see my daughter do so.

Letters went out a few weeks ago – after the Dean of students met with all of the Seniors and went over their credits and plans after high school. These letters either told parents that their students are not on track to graduation and need to make up credits, as well as the work they need to make up – or – parents got letters that their child *IS* on track to graduation, has their credits needed, or is close to it.

My daughter is one of those on track to graduate, and she has more credits than needed, but still needs 1/2 credit in Building trades – which she’ll get this semester, and one in English – which she’ll also get. So, she’s doing great and I am so proud!

Still, her friends that received letters that they needed credit recovery and are not on the path to graduation, I’ve offered my help and told my daughter, “Have them bring their binders of work or whatever they have to do – over to our house if they need help”.

I have a friend who told me she admires me because no matter what I have on my own plate or what I’m dealing with – no matter what I have on my mind – I’m still opening my home to these teenagers and offering a hot meal when they’re here, my help with their work, and rides from school and back home when they leave.

I just see it as something I have to do – to make sure none of my daughter’s friends are left behind, and I love when they come to me for help. They know I’m going to help if their parents can’t or won’t, and they know my home is safe, clean, and they’re allowed to grab snacks, pop, water – whatever they want, while getting the help they need. ❤️

Work:

Work has been hectic, insane, stressful, exhausting, busy and wild.

We have people coming and going. We have all kinds of things going on – some good and some not so good.

We have our people who drink and can’t handle their liquor, so they’re starting fights and making poor choices, or arguing with staff. We have people who are wild and out of control sometimes, and then – we have those who make us laugh and remind us why we love that job so much. 😊

This past weekend – my son and I were told about a fight that happened during the week, and when we watched the cameras, the fight was comical. It was between two men who live in the facility we work in, and the fight started in one of their rooms, and ended up in the hallway – where you could see them both just fall on the floor and lay there – exhausted and drunk.

My son and I played the cameras back and watched the whole fight.

One of my favorite things about that fight – is when ANOTHER guy was telling us about it this past weekend, and he said he had to go “help break up the fight”. I almost laughed right in his face, but I held it back because again – WE WATCHED THE CAMERAS and this other guy was nowhere in those videos breaking up anything. The fight broke up on its own when they wore themselves out and both dropped to the floor to rest but listen – if this other guy wanted us to think he broke up the fight – more power to him.

Another thing we laughed at this weekend – was when one of our other male residents at the facility – said he’s moving out at the end of the month and asked if I’d sign his boobs.

At first – I looked at him like:

Then, he pulled out ceramic boobs that had a bikini top on them, and he asked me again.

He said he wants everyone to sign his boobs before he leaves. 🤣

I told him I’d be more than happy to sign. I grabbed them and wrote, “Good luck! Love, Shel” – with a heart.

He was so happy and thanked me. My son also signed and I tried to help him out by asking others if they’ve signed his boobs yet, and I got the same funny look – that I had on my face when he first asked me, but others laughed – just like I did – when he explained. ha.

He’s the same man who always asks me if I’ll dip my finger in his food before he eats it, and I never know if he’s serious or just joking – and no, I’ve never done it! lol. I’m a good sport about it and I’ll laugh, but I always wonder if he’s serious. No, I’ll never do it – even if he is!

He’s such a sweetheart though. I’m going to miss his silliness when he leaves.

So, I joked with him and made him laugh when I handed his ceramic boobs back – and told him, “Now I can cross SIGNING BOOBS – off my bucket list!”.

Last time I wrote – I also talked about “Daisy”. That feisty little elderly woman who gives a lot of problems sometimes, but over the past few weeks, I’ve shown her nothing but love, compassion, honesty, and respect – and believe me when I tell you – that if you show that to the people in this facility – they usually show it right back and they know who truly cares about them – and who is just there for a paycheck.

They can tell!

I’ve gotten close to Daisy over the last few weeks, and while others see her as a problem or troublemaker, I see her as someone who is hurting, who has been hurt in the past, who has a lot to say and nobody to listen, and who just wants that love and compassion that my son and I show her when we’re there.

She’s a great person if you really get to know her. Not a lot of our staff take the time to show her the love, care, compassion and respect that we have, and I hate to say it – but if they did – they’d change their perspectives about her.

This morning, I was dealing with one issue that was going on – on the 2nd floor, and when I walked up the stairs – as I passed Daisy’s room, I heard her yelling and screaming, so I made a mental note to stop by there as soon as I handled this other situation going on.

When I did, Daisy was grateful to see me, told me she hurt her leg really bad, and needed help putting her shoe on. All day today, I’ve checked on Daisy – did whatever I could for her – and locked up our office a few times – to go take care of Daisy.

Daisy has started calling me, “My girl”. It’s too cute! She’ll say, “How are you doing today, my girl?”, “I’ll see you later, my girl!”.

Today when I was leaving work, she was outside and she yelled, “I love you, my girl. Thank you for everything you do and did for me, Shel”. She never walks away from me now or hangs up if she calls the office – without telling me, “Love you, my girl!”.

I just wish our other staff would take the time to get to really know her, understand her, and communicate with her – like we have.

They see a troublemaker. A problem. A headache. I see an aunt figure. A grandma figure. A lady who just wants to be cared about. ❤️

I have learned that if she is screaming, yelling, cursing or angry about someone – I’m the one who can always get her to smile, calm her down, joke with her – and get her to behave. (At least until my shift is over). lol. We have an understanding, and I think as mothers – she and I share grief because she lost her older son and she shared that story with me, and I shared the story of losing my oldest daughter.

I know that pain!

She’s native, so she found out I want to learn the language and told me I need to come hang out with her when I’m not working.

In fact, everyone in the facility loves my son and I so much – and the love and care we show them – that we’ve been offered to go hang out with a few of them.

Just yesterday when we were almost off of work – one of them called the office and she had a few others in the room with her. They wanted us to come hang out in there when we clocked out. As much as we would have loved to kick back and chill with them – it’s against policy and we had to keep it professional, so we just let them know one of our lead staff was coming in, and we couldn’t do that, but we thanked her and others for the offer.

We’ve been told by many of them that we’re two of the best employees the facility has, and a few of them have loved the fact that no matter what we have on our minds, what’s going on in our personal lives, or how we feel any day we’re at work – we always go in with a smile, use humor to handle situations, and joke around with all of them.

They enjoy that. Even on the days when I work alone and it gets crazy, busy and wild – I joke and smile, because it means a lot to them.

I just found out on yesterday morning – that one of the female residents wanted me to go to a Drag show with her – that had free food and drinks, or promotions going on. She said by the time she came down to invite me to go with her, my shift was over and I was gone. She said she wanted to ask the 2nd shift if they have my phone number, but she felt awkward and didn’t know the facilities rules about that.

She’s one of our coolest residents, and so – I wrote down my number and handed it to her.

Was I supposed to? Probably not, but I think it’s all about knowing who you can trust and know that they won’t cross any boundaries, and who you know you can absolutely NOT give that kind of information to.

I love this job. I’ve said it many times. I love our residents.

Some of them even cook or bake for us. 😁There’s one that has made us brownies and cookies on more than one occasion, and she’ll bring those down for us. Daisy made us fry bread one day, and that was amazing. I’ve had a resident make me a dreamcatcher, and another one who drew me a photo and plans to make me a few Eagle drawings soon.

Again, it’s all about how you treat them because once they know you really do care and this isn’t just for a paycheck – they’re going to look out for you and love you / respect you right back!

I giggled today when Daisy asked me when I’d be back, and I told her I don’t work again until Saturday. She rolled her eyes and told me that’s way too long. I told her I’d be back if someone asked me to cover their shift.

One thing I’ve also learned at this job – is that when something goes down – you have to know how to personally handle each and every person differently, and what works or what doesn’t with each one. We’ve learned that and there’s some people there that my son handles if he’s there, and there’s some people that communicate better with me and I’ll tell him, “I got this!”. The days when I’m alone at work – and it’s just me – I try to handle each situation calmly, and firmly – so they know I’m not messing around, but I also care very much.

I think with a lot of them being addicts or previous addicts, most of them drunk on most days, and dealing with some who are criminals, we always have to be careful, but knowing them personally – and having them respect us – helps us – or at least me – know that sometimes – we have to meet them where they are and talk to them – how they’ll understand.

One couple in the facility recently broke up and the lady asked me to watch her collect her things from her ex-boyfriend’s room. I went upstairs to watch, and I stood in the doorway while she grabbed her things. Her ex-boyfriend wasn’t in there, and I had my back turned – when I heard him come up behind me and yell – TO ME -, “What the F*** are you doing in my room?”. He likes to talk to her like that, and it aggravates many of us, but we try not to say anything. So, I turned to face him and MET HIM ON HIS LEVEL!

I matched his energy.

I calmly – but firmly said, “What the f*** are you doing talking to me like that?”. The look of surprise on his face was priceless, and he lowered his tone. I told him she was getting her things, and he didn’t have much to say after that.

I also joked that I have one foot in his room, and one foot in the hallway, so technically – I’m not really IN his room. He stayed quiet for the most part – the rest of the time she was getting her stuff. Some of them – you just have to meet them on their level and let them know you’re not the one to mess with, and they get it. A lot of them will show respect once they learn they can’t do whatever they want, and if they show us respect, we give it right back – and vice versa.

Could he have knocked me on my ass if he wanted to? Most likely, but I wasn’t going to go down easy, and if I thought he was going to do anything, I may have thought twice, but I know him. I’ve gotten to learn that he’s also hurting and he’s been through a lot, and he needs someone to tell it like it is.

SO, work has been wild the last week or two, and now that the weather is semi getting nicer a bit, it’s going to get even crazier at work, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It keeps us on our toes, and keeps us busy, so time goes by faster.

I have a different approach to different people and situations there, but it works every time. I can joke around and make you laugh, so you communicate with me and do what I’m asking of you or to calm you down, or – I can be tough and firm – but either way, however I approach things – they usually work. I know who I have to be tough and firm with, and those that I can joke with to make a situation go away.

I’m tired.

This job is draining, but still – I’m grateful for it. T

The moving thing …………………..

Don’t even get me started.

I’m so tired of looking for our new place.

I’ve found a few different places I loved, and the internet is full of scams.

I’ve emailed properties – only to get someone message me back and say, “I’m currently in Texas on business, but if you want to send me the deposit, I can show you the house when I get back in two weeks”, blah. blah. blah. I’ve gotten a few of those from people in different states – and then I look up the property on Zillow, and it shows that it’s for sale, or it’s off the marker and an actual family lives there.

It always makes me wonder if they’re aware that people are putting their properties online and scamming other people with it.

I’d never send money online.

I watched a video of some poor girl who was able to go see a house for rent, get the code to the lockbox for the key, and go in to tour the home, so she thought everything was legit – only to send the landlord $5,000 for a few months of rent upfront, and the home was for sale. It wasn’t being rented and this girl just got scammed out of all that money – from some “out of state” landlord claiming he’d be back soon to meet her.

It’s so scary with all of the scams going on now.

If I do find a legit listing – either they don’t allow pets, or it’s a really nice place – but the bedrooms are the size of a small bathroom. If all looks good, I don’t like the kitchen or there’s very little counter and cabinet space, or if a place is perfect – something always throws me off.

Maybe I’m being too picky!

So, I haven’t found the perfect place yet. I know I have to really start looking and going to take a look in person because I want to have something locked and secured by May 1st, but it’s just been a headache. I know damn well I don’t want to stay here in Minnesota, but I also know traveling to see other places is going to be a migraine as well.

I plan to have a list of places to look at, and appointments set before I go anywhere, and still – I’m stalling to pack. I’m stalling to keep looking, and I know I really have to.

I’ve been doing that almost every day – besides work, helping teens get work done, and getting ready for my daughter’s graduation, so it’s all been slamming me, and I haven’t had time to write.

Loves….

I miss you all so much.

I’ll catch up tomorrow.

My laptop battery is dying, and I have to be up early.

Sweet dreams.

❤️Shel❤️

Stranger photo sessions, and rewards of hard work and a little Love.

Stranger photo sessions, and rewards of hard work and a little Love.

Shel R.1 Comment

Loves!

Just a little fun thought…………………..

If you want to meet someone special and you’re ready to fall in love, but don’t want to do the bar or club scene – or the dating apps thing – I just saw the cutest way to meet someone.

There’s a photographer that allows you to fill out applications for a photo session WITH A STRANGER, and she will literally pair up whoever she thinks is best together. You don’t see each other until the day of the photo shoot, and she’ll put you back-to-back, you’ll turn around at the same time – and face each other.

I’ve seen so many of her photography sessions where people really look like they’ve been dating forever now, and they’re real couples, but they’re not. They just met the day of…………

How cute is that?!!!!!!

I think it’s a fun way to meet someone, and she does say on her videos that some of her clients are actually dating now and have become couples from her sessions – where they started out as strangers. 🤗

If you’re open to it – why not give it a try?!

Check her out on TIKTOK.

@brooke.three.photo

No, she did NOT pay me to promote her.

I just thought this was totally adorable and it’s a new way to meet your person – possibly! If not, you at least – get a fun photoshoot out of it and have a good time. I mean, if I met someone like that – it would be a really fun story to tell people – if we became a couple afterwards, and if not – I’d hang the pictures from the session up over my computer desk and when people ask, “Who is he?”, I’d have fun smiling and saying, “I have NO CLUE! He was a one-time deal”. People would wonder, and I’d have fun letting them. lol.

Book your session and if you meet someone special and fall in love – if you end up with your photo stranger – YOU’RE WELCOME! ha.

*****

On to other things………….

My job.

It can get overwhelming sometimes.

It can get stressful sometimes.

It can get scary sometimes.

It can get dangerous sometimes.

However – it can be fun.

It can be rewarding.

It can be life changing.

It can be exciting.

It can be interesting.

It can be amazing.

I love it every moment of it. No matter what each day brings, and each day always bring something new.

I love it, no matter what happens.

One thing I love the most about it – is knowing that I’m changing lives and knowing that the people in the facility I work in – trust me, love me, and know that they can count on me to care.

They’ve been through a lot in their lives. A lot of them are addicts, previous addicts, alcoholics, criminals, felons, and have been through hell and back. A lot of them have been betrayed, lied to, ignored by society, treated like they’re nothing – so they don’t trust a lot of people anymore. They have problems, and issues. Many of them have mental health issues, and no respect for authority, so if you don’t earn their respect and trust – if they feel like you don’t give a damn about them – you’re not going to like how they act towards you.

But …..if you show you love them, you care about them, you’re there for them, they can trust you, and you respect them ….

If you make them laugh, joke with them, make them enjoy you being there – you’re going to see how real they are. How cool they are. How sweet they can be. How much they respect you right back.

It’s all about building rapport with them.

I’d like to say that my son and I have done that since we started working in this facility, and that we have a pretty great relationship with most of the tenants who live in this facility.

It makes us feel good, and several times now – many of them have come up to us and told us that we are their favorite staff members there.

Many of them look for us, and when they see my car pull up, they come down or out of their rooms just to say hello to us and chat.

It makes us feel good knowing we’re making a difference and they like seeing us at work.

I am totally in love with my job and the work I do there – for the following reasons:

Last week, my son and I were getting off of our shift and one of our female tenants called downstairs to the front office just to tell us goodbye. She said she knew we leave at 3 PM and wanted to say bye before we left. She told us to have a great evening, and she can’t wait until we come back.

Right after her, a male tenant called down to the front office to tell us to have a great night, and said he wanted to catch us before we left because he loves us and enjoys us being there.

We laughed a bit when one of our co-workers who had just come onto the 2nd shift – looked at us, and said, “Whoa! You guys get two calls just saying goodbye and have a good night, and I haven’t gotten any?”. It’s a good feeling when our tenants acknowledge us and show their love for us because it makes us feel like we’re doing something right. 💕 I do know though – that this co-worker who said what she said – is loved there as well, even if she hasn’t gotten any calls like we did. So, I hope she doesn’t feel bad about it.

As we were leaving, another lady sitting in the lobby – told us to hurry back.

So –

We have this guy who lives in the facility – that I’ll call “G”. G likes to draw and he’s so damn good at it.

Some of his drawings are hung up around the facility. He draws native things. He draws beautiful Eagles and backgrounds, and so many other pictures.

A few different staff members have gotten amazing photos that “G” drew for them, and a few months ago – I mentioned that I was going to tell “G” that I wanted a photo. My son laughed and joked about it and he told me, “You can’t just tell him you want a photo. He has to genuinely like you and WANT to give you one of his drawings and photos”. I agreed with my son and decided to just wait it out and see if “G” gave me one on his own.

He always comes to say hi to us when we’re there and joke around with us. He’s a great guy.

When he came down last week to say hello, he showed me a beautiful photo of two Eagles he drew and I absolutely loved it. I thought he was going to give it to me, but he told me it was for another co-worker of mine and asked when she’d be in. I wasn’t too upset because she’s an older lady and she needs and deserves some good cheer, so I knew it would make her happy. I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t for me, and when he went back up to his room, my son laughed that day and joked with me – telling me, “Awe! Are you okay? You really thought that was for you, didn’t you?!”. 🥺🤣

I told him I was a little salty because – yes, I did think that.

Well, we were working this weekend.

Sundays are usually laid-back and chill. Not a lot is going on, so after breakfast, many of our tenants went back to their rooms, and all was quiet and boring.

I decided to print out a coloring page because that’s how bored we were, and my son printed out a few of his own he liked.

Yes, we sat there and colored for a few hours.

As I was coloring my first coloring page – (which was a few 90’s trolls’ dolls) – one of our tenants came out of her room, saw me coloring it, and told me how much she loves how it was coming out. I thanked her. She asked what I was going to do with it when I was done.

I told her I wasn’t sure, and I tried to change the subject because I knew where she was about to go with her question.

My plan was to take the page home because I collect those 90’s trolls – and I was going to frame the page I colored and hang it above my computer desk – where all my trolls are, but then – my plans were diverted. This woman smiled and told me, “I’d like to have it if that’s okay. When you’re done, you can sign it and give it to me if you don’t mind”.

I ended up finishing it, signing it, writing on the bottom “Always remember me”, and giving it to her when I saw her later in the day.

She was so excited, she went and asked our nurse for a frame when our nurse stopped by for a little bit.

She got her frame, came and showed me that she nicely framed it, and said she was going to hang it up in her room.

Listen.

I really wanted that picture I colored, but if it made her as happy as it did – I felt good about giving it to her.

I could have colored another one for myself, but by then – I was over that picture and printed out a new one for myself.

I ended up coloring the one below – to take home and frame. I was going to print out a quote that said, “We’re looking at each other a little too hard to just be friends”, and tape it to the top – to frame it all later in the day.

The hearts in her hair – I did that. I got creative with it. 🤗

This colored picture didn’t come home with me, either.

“G” came down to talk for a bit, and he showed me a photo he drew.

I loved it!!!

It reminded me of my dad because my dad liked country western stuff, things from Texas for some reason, and bulls. My dad loved Rodeo stuff as well, and I have one of his old belt buckles somewhere – that has a bull on it. My mom gave it to me when he passed because I love Rodeos and all that country western stuff – even though I’m a city gal.

So, when “G” showed me this photo –

I wanted it!

It looked like something from Texas. ha. I mean – it also looked like the belt buckle I have.

Like my son says though – “You can’t just ask G for a photo. He has to WANT to give you one!”.

I told him I love it, and how nice it is, and guess what?

“G” – GAVE IT TO ME!!!!! He told me it’s for me.

I was so excited to finally get a “G” photo. My son laughed at my excitement and asked if I thought I was special now that I have one.

YES, I DO! 🤗

It also makes me feel appreciated, and that they love me – just as much as I love them.

I ended up giving the 2nd page I colored of trolls – to “G” to thank him for the drawing he gave me.

My son made me smile when he told me, “I know you didn’t want to give up your trolls coloring page the first time, but you did. So, I guess you can consider that drawing G gave you, God’s way of letting good Karma come back around to you!”. 💕

Good Karma came around twice on Sunday because a while later, a woman I’ll call “Marie” – who makes and sometimes sells Dreamcatchers – came down to the office. She told me she made me something and wants me to have it.

She handed me this:

I absolutely love this as well.

I was so happy Sunday, and this is why I do what I do, and love the people at this facility.

If you respect them, show them love, show you care, show that you have time for them and what they’re going through – they’re going to show you love right back.

So, while this job can get dangerous and crazy – it also comes with rewards, and things like these – that make it worth it.

Fun fact: (not really fun, but me being sarcastic):

We just got a notification from our big boss in our work group chat that gives us instructions on what to do if ICE shows up at our facility.

It’s been said that our governor is cooperating with ICE and Mr. Trump now – to turn over all illegal criminals, and while I don’t know if we have any immigrants in our facility, I will say that it’s scary dealing with ICE at all.

I think here in Minnesota – this has all gotten way out of control, and with people being murdered and hurt in protests – I don’t think anyone is “safe” from it, but I felt comfortable knowing ICE and protests were 4 hours away, and not in our area. Has ICE been in our area before? Yes. Not a lot though, and they did what they had to do and got out. Has ICE showed up at work before? No. So, the thought that it could happen – is a little wild, but all we can do is pray that it is all peaceful if and when they do.

That being said, I have nothing else to write.

My daughter just called from school – to ask if one of her friends could come over, so they can work on a presentation together that’s due Thursday.

While I wanted to say “no”, and maybe tomorrow – she told me they need to get this done, so I said yes, and now – I’m figuring out what to make for dinner, because I’m guessing her friend will stay for dinner. I don’t mind. I’m just a little tired, and that means I have to drive the friend home later.

It’s so cold outside, and once I get in my house after picking up the kids from school, I like to stay there! 🥶

Still, I am happy her and her friend are being responsible and working on whatever they have due.

Love you.

Stay warm.

💕Shel💕

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

When sshhhh goes wrong… and a great Christmas movie.

Shel R.Leave a comment

A few nights ago, I couldn’t sleep.

A friend of mine had told me about a cute movie she watched and wanted me to check out, so – since I couldn’t sleep and she knows I like different Christmas movies around this time of year, I watched the one she suggested.

I’m not sure if it’s streaming anywhere else, but I watched it on YouTube.

It seemed like a Hallmark movie, and I’m not really a Hallmark movie – kind of gal, but I actually like this movie.

You have to pay attention to really know what’s going on, but I recommend it if you’re looking for something cute to watch. ❤️

It has some great actors / actresses, such as Paul Walker and Robin Williams (God rest their souls), Susan Sarandon, Penelope Cruz, Chaz Palminteri, and others.

Paul Walker plays a super jealous and controlling cop, who doesn’t want any man around his fiancé or even looking at her, and she’s ready to leave him if he doesn’t change his crazy ways. She truly does love him and wants everything to work out – especially because it’s Christmas, and she doesn’t want to leave him during Christmas.

Susan Sarandon’s mother is battling Alzheimer’s / Dementia and won’t eat, and while she loves spending time with her mom every year, things are getting worse, and it’s become an awful Christmas for her – watching her mother go through all of this, as she watches the man across the hall from her mother’s room – fight for his life.

There’s an elderly man in this movie who is obsessed with Paul Walker’s character and at first – the movie makes it seem likes he’s gay and wants to be with “Mike” – (Paul’s character), but that’s not the case at all, and it made me cry when I found out why he’s so obsessed with Mike.

What Mike does for this man to heal his heart and soul – teaches him something about himself and his own jealousy and the way he’s acting with his fiancé.

The movie is good. I’d watch it again.

So, when I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago, that’s what I watched, and I enjoyed it.

If you watch it, let me know what you think.

*****

In other news, my son and I had our very first work meeting this week.

I work all week long and on the weekends. My son just works the weekends with me, but this meeting was mandatory for most staff.

We got updates on some of our tenants in the building. We got updates on whatever we needed to know. We talked about different things, the work Christmas party next week, things that need to be done during shifts, and so on.

Staff was able to voice our thoughts, ideas, concerns, etc.

My son and I stayed quiet because again, this was our first meeting since working at this facility and we just wanted to take it all in, see what goes on in these meetings, and who says what.

One thing that did make me want to speak up and go against something – was when one of my older co-workers said something about possibly putting up a sign that says nobody can hang out in the hallways because she’s tired of kicking people out of the halls, and nobody listens. They keep doing it anyway. If there’s a sign saying they can’t – maybe, they’ll finally understand it.

I disagreed with that because it’s winter. It’s freezing outside, and sometimes the weather is -10, -20, -30 – out here, and kicking people out in the cold, just doesn’t sit right with me. It’s not the kind of person I am and it’s not the way my heart is. Not to mention that while I’m on my shift, or my son and I are both working together – we don’t care if people are hanging out in the hallways because they’re safe, they’re warm, and they live in the building – WE DON’T! So, for us to kick them out of any part of their home – when we just work in this facility – doesn’t sit right with us.

I wanted to say all of that, but I didn’t.

I knew that if my boss agreed to put a sign up saying they can’t hang out in the hallways, and we still let them – (because I was still going to let them), it would be mixed signals because different staff let them do different things, and we wouldn’t all be on the same page.

Here’s the thing.

The facility I work in – as I said before – houses people who are homeless or were once homeless before they were accepted into this facility. It’s a big building and they each have their own little apartments.

This facility houses not only homeless people, but also alcoholics and those with drug addictions, and mental health issues. This facility houses some criminals who committed different minor crimes and have nowhere to go after their release, or those who have no family / friends to go to. We have people from all walks of life in this facility, and they lean on each other. They’re friends with each other. They enjoy hanging out with and seeing each other, because for some of them – the people who live there, are all they have.

The problem is – there’s two sides to this huge building.

There’s the side where the tenants are more independent, can work, go do whatever they please, come and go, etc. as long as they stay out of trouble and follow the rules of their leases, and of the facility. Then, there’s the side where people are more dependent, need alcohol portion control, are dealing with withdrawals, dealing with mental health things, and just need more care, and compassion.

The staff office – is right in the middle of both sides, so both sides can come and talk to the staff, or get what they need, but both sides are locked – and these tenants know that one side can’t go to the other sides lobby. So they call each other from the lobby phones, meet outside, or – in these hallways they have right by the office if it’s cold outside like it has been.

During the meeting, when my older co-worker asked if a sign can be placed, I was so happy when my boss said she’s on the fence about doing that, and she feels different about it.

She said as long as they’re not causing problems, fighting or drinking in the hallways, and as long as they’re not blocking the way to get in and out – it doesn’t bother her. She said she would much rather have them hanging out in the hallways safe and warm – than to be out and about wherever they’ll find to go to be warm and hang out and possibly get into trouble while they’re out and about.

She said she’d rather deal with them in the halls, than having the police calling the building saying, “Hey, you need to come get your guy”, or have one of them out and about drinking, and freeze to death.

I absolutely agreed with my boss, and I loved that she spoke up and said something because I was on the same page as my boss.

I was happy when the Case manager chimed in and said a sign probably wouldn’t matter anyway, because many of the people who live in the facility have had a “F*** You” attitude since they were little, and all they’re going to do – is become combative and give attitude if there’s a sign. They’re doing that now if they get kicked out of the hallways. So, it’s probably not even worth it.

I agreed with that as well.

It’s all about picking and choosing your battles and kicking them out of hallways of somewhere THEY LIVE – as I said – it’s not right.

I also wanted to speak up when one of the lead staff – said something about how people also aren’t allowed to be in the hallways if they don’t live here and just want to come in to warm up because they live on the streets. She said if that’s the case, they have TWO MINUTES to warm up, and get out, or – we can “slowly” help them fill out a housing application, and then – they have to go.

Part of me so badly wanted to kind of joke – but kind of seriously tell her, “You better hope you get into heaven when you die, and God doesn’t just give you TWO MINUTES to look around and tell you that you have to go!”.

I was so mad. I couldn’t believe how heartless she sounded. I wish I would have said something, but again, I didn’t, because I knew I wasn’t going to follow her TWO MINUTE RULLE anyway, and I was so proud of my boss and so happy when she spoke up again and said for her – it would be different.

She said for her being a human – she knows what she would want someone to do for her if she were in that same position, and if someone comes in off the streets to get warm, she will treat them like another human. She said she wouldn’t care if they slept in the hallways if that meant they have a warm place to be – even for one night. She said she’d offer a pair of warm gloves, a hat, whatever we have for whenever they want to leave, and one of my other co-workers mentioned giving them a cup of hot coffee.

YES!!!!!!

That’s how it should be!!!!!

If I’m ever at work and a homeless person comes in and needs to warm up, I’m grabbing that cup of coffee for them, having them sit down by our heaters, pulling up a chair next to them, and letting them keep me company as we chat, because I don’t have the heart for that “TWO MINUTES” crap. My boss said she’d much rather get in trouble by the higher up’s or whoever – for being a good person, than to have to treat another human like they’re below her, and I loved that!

Same.

Last week – I gave some of our “good gloves” at work to a few of the people who live there, and my son said something about how he thinks they’re Christmas gifts for those who ask for it on their wish lists.

First of all – gloves should not be on a WISH LIST. They should automatically be given out because that’s something that’s NEEDED in this weather, so if those gloves sitting in the closet were for the wish list – and I get in trouble for giving them out to people who NEED them, I’ll deal with that and take it with a smile.

My boss said in the meeting – that she’d back us up no matter what we decided to do in any situation, and that we have to use our best judgements and our common human sense. If I get in trouble for letting people hang out in the hallways to stay warm and safe, O-well. If I get in trouble for doing good things for people who live there, O-well. If I get in trouble if some homeless person comes in off the streets and wants to sleep in the halls to stay warm – O-well.

I know my boss will back me up, and that’s what matters. She has the same good heart I do.

I was bothered that this other lead staff literally sat there joking about her little TWO MINUTE rule, and they have to go. She had a smile on her face and said if they don’t live here, they don’t belong there and that’s it.

My face while she was talking – was something like:

My son tried not to laugh because he knew I was mad.

It takes ZERO EFFORT OR DOLLARS to be a good human being, and she doesn’t seem like she’s it.

After the meeting, I shared my concerns with my boss and I let her know – one on one – that I’m not kicking nobody out if they need to get warm, and that I don’t care who hangs out in the hallways if they’re not fighting, drinking or causing issues. She agreed with me, and again – I’m glad she backs me and the idea of being a good person – up.

I can’t promise I’ll stay quiet in future meetings, but I will say that from now on – I plan to stand up for what’s right and what’s wrong.

I love my job, and when it comes to rules and policies, I’ll follow them to an extent. When it comes to being a good person, helping others, showing love – compassion and kindness – I’ll bend the rules and policies if I have to, and I won’t apologize for it. 😶 There’s some circumstances where it’s okay to say, “We’re not supposed to do this, but….”.

So, my son and I survived our first work meeting – despite me having to bite my tongue and stay quiet on certain things I disagreed with or wanted to speak up on.

*****

On my side of this small little town, I’m just working, counting down the months until my daughter graduates’ high school and we can move.

I’m starting to get rid of things we don’t use, need or want – so packing will be faster and a little easier, and trying to STILL get graduation photos done, things turned in on time for her deadlines, etc. We’ve done some graduation photos, and she doesn’t like them, so we’re going to try again this weekend and by Tuesday of next week, everything should be turned in for the yearbooks and deadlines.

That’s a lot, right?! MAMA NEEDS A FEW NAPS. ha.

Today is my little guy’s Christmas concert at school and I’m looking forward to that.

He told me if I cry, he’s just going to “pretend” to sing, and not really sing. lol.

I work this weekend. I work next week. We were supposed to go to Illinois the end of this month for a few days to be with family, but I have things to do, to catch up on, and I just can’t.

Besides all of that….

Let me share how awesome my older son is!

I had to run to the store yesterday for a new pair of jeans and a new pair of shoes.

He offered to pay for my shoes. I told him I have the money, and he replied with, “I know, but I wanted to get you a Christmas gift from Amazon, and it won’t arrive on time, so let me just buy you the shoes you want”. I told him I wasn’t getting anything fancy right now because it’s winter, but he insisted – so, I let him. He called it my early Christmas gift, and I’m okay with that. 😁❤️

He really is a great kid!

After we ran to a few stores and grabbed Starbucks, we were on the way home and I felt my car driving a little bumpy. I pulled over and asked my son to check my tires, and when he did – he shook his head.

I knew I had a flat. I was so irritated because I’m a single mom. It’s almost Christmas. I have other things to buy or pay, and now I have to get a new tire on top of it???!!!

I couldn’t help it, and I was so stressed, drained and irritated – that I cried.

I didn’t just cry. I sat in the car and sobbed. Big tears. I was a wreck.

I saw this a few weeks back and didn’t think much of it until yesterday when I needed a new tire – on top of everything else going on, and I thought about this again.

I just laid my head back on my headrest, looked up and wondered what the hell God is doing up there, and why I just can’t feel like I’m getting ahead of anything.

My son was calm.

He changed my tire to the spare, and I was able to make it to the tire shop I always go to whenever I need tire work done.

I’m pretty sure I need an alignment, but they couldn’t do it yesterday, so I have to go back and that’s even more money.

$167 I didn’t plan to spend on the tire, and just like that – more money gone.

You know what I want for Christmas? A F***IN’ DAY WHERE EVERYTHING IS PAID, I DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE, I HAVE A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE, I’M BORED OUT OF MY MIND BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, AND LIFE IS GOOD!

I’m sure that’s the wish of every single mama out there though.

Hell, I’m sure that’s the wish of every person dealing with anything right now.

Listen. I’m blessed that God still has me on this earth with my kids, and my other three kids here on this earth with me, so I can’t really complain.

Other than that, I don’t have much else going on right now.

I just dyed my hair.

I know I said I wasn’t going to do that.

My silver / gray was showing through my dark brown / black hair, and I wanted to see how it would look if I finally fully went silver / gray. My daughter said it looked pretty cool, but with my son’s Christmas concert in a bit, I decided to go in with cut hair and a new color. 😊

Have a beautiful day loves!

❤️Shel❤️

A new little life, and this new little job I love.

A new little life, and this new little job I love.

Shel R.Leave a comment

    Hello my loves!

   First of all, let me share some fun news!

I’m going to be an Auntie again!!!! 🥰

Do I know if I’ll ever see the baby? No.

Do I know if I’ll get to be a part of the child’s life? Also no.

Still, the thought of becoming an auntie to a little girl this time – is a little bit exciting. I have two nephews and I adore them. I always get so happy when they see me, run to me and yell, “AUNTIE!”. I miss them tons, as they are back home in Chicago.

My brother has my nephews by his ex-wife.

This new baby that is on the way – she’s by his now ex-fiance. The now ex-fiance wants nothing to do with my brother and a few months ago, she made it clear she isn’t giving the baby my brother’s last name, and she isn’t planning to have my brother there when she delivers the baby.

I think both are really mean if I’m being honest.

Yes, my brother is an idiot, and he’s burned bridges with a lot of people (including his ex-fiancé), but he deserves to see his new baby make her way into this world (especially because he’s always wanted a little girl). I think it’s a little mean not to give the baby his last name, but she’s the mother and it’s her choice.

She cut my brother out of her life, and anyone that’s involved with him – (including me). I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want the baby to know any of us, or her older brothers (my nephews), but I haven’t talked to her, so I don’t know what she’s thinking or where her mind is. 

She refuses to talk to my brother.

I just found out that she has a baby registry set up online, and whether she wants my brother or his family in this baby’s life or not, I plan to grab some things she requested on this baby registry, and send them to her for the baby – because this new baby – is still and forever will be my niece.

I’m still going to love her just as much as I love my nephews and I hope that my brother’s ex-fiancé – allows my brother and I – to know this child. I hope she allows the child to know who we are.🩷

It takes a village to raise a baby, right?

As a single mother myself – I hope my brother’s ex-fiancé allows me to be in her village and help her raise little Ella. (That’s the name she and my brother picked before she decided she wanted nothing to do with him).

So, I have a niece on the way, and I have no idea if I’ll get to meet her or be involved in her life or not, but we shall see. My nephews still have no idea they’re having a little sister.

It’s a bad situation with a beautiful baby attached to it. 

I will admit I wasn’t happy when I heard my brother got this girl pregnant. He had just gotten a divorce, he had just gotten back from deployment, and he wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

Hell, he hadn’t even been with this new girl for very long before she ended up pregnant.

Not to mention he wasn’t financially stable, and he and his now ex-fiancé were already having a lot of problems, but – as the time gets closer – the thought has grown on me, and I just wish the best for my new niece and the parents who created her.

I shall keep you all updated as Ella (Or, whatever he mother names her) – is due next month.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

That being said ….

Let’s talk about work!

I’ve been working a LOT – as Christmas is fast approaching and I’ve been trying to finish up Christmas shopping.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…..

I worked in the medical field for 9 years with Alzheimer’s / Dementia / behavioral patients, and I was highly stressed, and overworked. Isn’t that how it usually goes in the medical field, though?

I loved my patients and I’ve met so many great ones along the way during those years – that I’ll never forget, but the hours were long, the drama in the medical field between staff can get very catty and crazy, and the pay wasn’t always the greatest. It was rewarding when it came to the sweet people I took care of, but there were a lot of cons to it when it came to the actual work environment and things that the staff dealt with.

Now (?) – now I can actually say I love my job and I love going to work when I’m scheduled.

Staff drama and cattiness at the new job? Of course! It’s at this job as well, but I try to go, mind my business, bite my tongue when I need to, and just make sure the residents in the facility I work in – laugh, and have a great day.

I mentioned before that I finally got away from the medical field and stepped into working in a facility that houses the homeless community, and those with criminal pasts, drug and alcohol addictions, and mental health issues.

I will just say – that while some of our city looks down on them and doesn’t want to deal with them when they hear where they are from because our city sees them as “trouble” or “problems” – if you get to know them on a personal / deeper level … they are some of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Have they made bad choices in life? Yes.

Have they done some stupid sh**? Also, yes.

They will all tell you themselves – their life stories and the traumas and dramas they’ve been through, and the mistakes they’ve made and regret, but many of them are decent people. Many of them are good people who end up in bad situations due to their choices, and they do regret many of the things they’ve done in life.

As I’ve gotten to know all of them more, they make me laugh so much, and I always try to bring giggles to their day as well – as I joke around with them, and make sure they know I care. Some are there for a paycheck, but me? I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer when on the great movie “DANGEROUS MINDS” when someone asks her, “Why do you care anyway? You’re just here for the money”, and she replies with, “Because I make the choice to care, and honey – the money ain’t that good!”.

Believe me when I say the money isn’t that great at all, but I do care about those who live there.

The homeless. The drug addicts. The alcoholics. The criminals.

They’re human. They have feelings and needs – and wants like everyone else, and most of them just want to feel like they matter. 🥺 I try to be there and listen and do that for them.

So, if I can go to work and we can all laugh together and just make my job and them living there a little more fun, why not?!

💕

I’ve gotten to know an elderly man I’ll call Tony. He runs around like crazy looking for things around the building that need to be fixed, and he’ll do it if he can. He looks for projects, or watches things going on – to keep himself busy all day, so he thinks about other things instead of his previous lifestyle. He’s such a sweetheart and he loves to talk.

Sometimes, he’ll just come by the office, hang out and chat with me. Sometimes, he’ll stand there and laugh at his own jokes, and it makes me laugh. Other times, as I watch the cameras, I’ll see him on one – and a few seconds later – he’s down the hall on another and I’m wondering how he got there so fast. Tony is all over the place – all day long, and he’s such a silly, humorous, amazing guy.

He reminds me of Uncle Si from the show (Duck Dynasty). I swear – he looks just like him almost and I always want to ask him if I can start calling him “Uncle Si”, but I don’t want to make it weird. lol. He’s just as goofy as Uncle Si – as well.

For his birthday in a few weeks, he plans to shave his beard and see how it looks. He also told me he would love to have a cape, so he could run around as a “Super Tony” – of course he said his real name, but I can’t here. I was laughing so much and told him if I buy him a cape for his birthday – to tie it around his neck, he has to wear it all day and fly around the building as SUPER TONY. He told me he’s absolutely going to do that!!!!

I do plan to buy him a cape. 😁He said he just wants to feel like a superhero for a day.

A few days ago, he came in from the garden area outside, and I was writing a report.

When I looked up, he had one of the garden statues in his hand. It was a man that looked like he was fishing. I asked why he brought it inside, and he laughed and tells me, “Look! He LITERALLY froze his ass off!”. He held the statue up. It had a big ice / snow bump on it’s bottom.

While I’d love to show the entire photo, I can’t – for privacy reasons of course, but here’s the statue:

He said he was going to let the statue “thaw out”, and then he was going to paint him because he’s a little rusty.

See? He’s always looking for something to do. ha.

I adore this old guy.

💕

We have a woman I’ll call “Mary”. (Obviously – all names are changed for privacy).

Mary and I have gotten close, and she comes down once in a while to chat or get whatever she needs from the office.

I know the guy she’s dating there – works her last nerve, so when she came down and asked me, “Do you have any (body ba)…………….I mean garbage bags?”. We both laughed so hard. My jaw dropped and I joked that she better be careful because there’s this word in the Criminal justice system called, “Premeditated”. She laughed so much, and it’s just good to see them enjoy laughter.

I told her if I didn’t see him with her later, I was going to be asking questions, and she just laughed and laughed.

A lot of them have been through so much and have done so much, that laughter helps them get through their day. The other day – Mary and her boyfriend were having their usual argument, and I went upstairs to go get him out of her apt. and he raised his voice.

I’ve gotten to know her boyfriend “Kevin” pretty well also, and he’s usually respectful, but when he raised his voice at me, I raised mine right back, and told him, “Let’s go! She wants you out! You can either come downstairs and talk to me, and I’ll argue with you if that’s what you’re on today, or you can go to your own apartment, but you have to get out of hers!”. He kind of smiled, and told me that he never gives me trouble, and he did end up leaving her room.

💕

When I first started this job, I was told that if something escalates or kicks off – I will eventually learn how to handle it – once I get to know all of their personalities, what works with them and what doesn’t, and I think I’ve mastered learning how to handle most of them when things get crazy, or escalate.

We have one guy I’ll call “Danny”. He makes me laugh a lot, and he’s usually joking around or in a good mood.

I came in at 7 AM a few days ago, and he was far from a “good mood”. He was screaming, yelling, calling the overnight staff names, and telling them to do their job. He wanted alcohol. Normally, we’d give a little bit, so they don’t get sick from withdrawals, and it’s all controlled – but he didn’t have any available.

When he saw me, he was still angry, and he looked straight at me.

I quickly killed that negativity because I’ve gotten to know Danny and how to deal with him.

I told him, “I just got here! Don’t start nothing with me. You won’t get anything from me all day!”. He grinned – until he broke into a full smile, and he was fine after a while. He did end up getting his little portion.

Withdrawals for some of these people are a real thing. It’s sad, and it’s another reason we have to treat them like humans and give them what they ask for if we can.

My heart hurts for some of the people who live there, so if I can make their lives easier or better in any way – I’m always going to try my best while I’m at work.

I could talk about many of them all day because they’re some great people, and they have feelings, too!

They share stories with me. They admit their faults and mistakes to me.

I play security, bartender, advocate, therapist, problem-solver, etc. – all in one when I’m at work, and I don’t mind it.

It truly is a great job, and it may not pay big bucks – but it’s not the medical field and for that, I’m grateful.

Don’t get me wrong! I truly love and appreciate those in the medical field because it takes a special and very patient person to be in it for years and years and years – and keep going. For me though? I just wanted out, and I wanted to get into something along the lines of Criminal justice – as my degrees are in, and helping people, and I think God brought me right where he wanted me. ❤️

We have a guy named “Cory”.

They’ve had some issues with Cory, but I won’t go into details.

Some of the things I’ve read about him are scary, but he’s always been so calm, super chill, and nice to me.

He’ll come down and ask if I have coffee all the time, because he loves MY coffee. He says the kitchen coffee is so watered down, he could see the bottom of his cup, and he doesn’t like that. You shouldn’t be able to see the bottom of your coffee cup. I giggled and agreed with him. I do make coffee in the office all day long, so some of them know that and come to me for their coffee.

I make mine strong.

Today actually – he got kitchen coffee, and for his 2nd cup – he came to me for office coffee.

I joked and told him, “No! You cheated on my coffee!”. He laughed and told me, “Trust me! It wasn’t worth it. Won’t happen again!”. lol.

Those are the things I enjoy when I go to work and get to joke with my residents, or just be there when they need to vent, talk, cry, smile. When I can listen to them and help them work through whatever they’re dealing with or feeling, that means a lot to them and to me as well. I love that!

So, while I’m not doing the job I wanted to do right now (probation) – again, God brought me where he has me now – for a reason, and I’m so grateful for this job, and the fact that I can make a difference whenever I’m at work. I’m grateful that many of them are happy to see me – and on weekends – me and my son because he works there as well, and they know they’re going to be treated right and taken care of.

Today, one of the ladies told my son that we’re the best two staff members they’ve had in such a long time.

Someone else said the same thing last week, and it makes us feel good 😊

That’s what I’ve been doing.

Preparing for a new niece, getting ready for Christmas and working.

I’m exhausted though, it’s almost Midnight, and I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll absolutely write more – as my brain feels like it’s ready to shut down.

Sleep well my darlings!

❤️Shel❤️

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

When you can’t sleep – you do some research on trains, and other things.

Shel R.Leave a comment

So, who was dreaming about me and won’t let me sleep?

Ha.

It’s currently 2:20 AM and I’ve been awake since I went to bed at 9 – something last night.

I’ve just been in bed thinking about different things. Tossing and turning. Thinking some more. Thinking of bills due. Christmas coming up fast. My work schedule. Getting back into a workout routine, and all kinds of stuff. I’ve checked my phone about 20 times, and every time I look – it’s just another 20 minutes or so later.

My mind won’t shut the hell up, and for some crazy reason, my mind went to the train derailment of 1977 – in downtown Chicago.

(Photo taken from Medium).

My mom worked down there at the time if I remember her telling me that correctly.

She was down there when it happened.

I have no idea why I thought about this as I was in bed not able to sleep, but then I started looking up photos on it, reading the story, and remembering my mom talking about it many years ago.

If you want to read the story, check it out. 👇

https://mx-schroeder.medium.com/out-of-the-loop-the-1977-chicago-usa-train-collision-6049663a4fc6

There are more photos on the site.

😶

I don’t really tell many people because it’s not really a big deal – but I like trains. I know – weird fact about me you probably didn’t need to know, but I do. I think they’re really cool, and if I’m being honest – I especially love the freight trains that travel all around the world and have the really creative tagging / drawings on it – from people who shouldn’t be doing it – but some of their artwork is neat.

The fact that these trains go all over, and these taggers are getting their artwork noticed in many different states – is pretty amazing. Okay, okay. I’m Criminal justice. I know it’s illegal and it’s not right to tag on a train car or mark it up – but I’ve seen some hard work put into those masterpieces, and it makes me appreciate art more. I don’t mean the goofy “Let me tag my name on this train car” – garbage. I mean the awesome photos of cartoons that get drawn, or the ones that take time to make something stand out – that the entire world will see – wherever that train car is.

I always wonder if someone creates these beautiful pieces on train cars and thinks to themselves, “Many people in many cities and states will see this and love it!”.

Stuff like (below) – makes me smile and makes me wonder how the hell there’s enough time – to do stuff like this, but again – while wrong and illegal – some of it – is creative.

💕

💕

Just because I started thinking about the train derailment in Chicago in 1977, that got me thinking about train cars I’ve seen with all kinds of drawings and artwork on it. I’m not okay with the tagging and people just being stupid about it – but something like these photos – that go all over the world and make people giggle and smile – I’m not against it!

STILL ILLEGAL THOUGH! STILL NOT A GOOD IDEA TO DO IT!

If you get caught, there’s hefty consequences!!!!

Hell. There are so many different types of trains and different styles, I just appreciate the trains themselves – even without the tagging and beauty of different artwork on them. So, I grabbed my phone, and I was looking up different types of trains, and I came across more train derailments, and why they happen.

What I really wanted to see – was how it looks for a train conductor – driving a train, so I looked up those videos.

Another fun fact about me – is that I once wanted to be a train conductor and drives those huge things, but I know it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, and there’s a lot that goes into it.

I’m telling you! For some reason – I’ve always been fascinated with trains.

Maybe it started when I was a young kid and my friends and I would climb over a fence – to then climb up a hill and onto the train tracks down the block from where I grew up. I loved trains even then, and nothing has changed.

There was one time a police officer was driving by, saw my best friend and I – up on the tracks, and screamed at us to get down. We hopped back over the fence, and once we were back on the ground, he yelled at us – telling us the dangers of being up on the tracks, and how if it derails – we’re in trouble and can be killed up there.

Our brothers were up there, too!

Mine got caught and he had to come down, and my best friend’s brother was hiding behind a wall – laying down, so the cop couldn’t see him. We were told that if he comes back around or sees us up there again, we’d be taken to the station, and our parents would be called. He asked if anyone else was up there with us, and we lied and said no. He asked, “So, that foot I see – isn’t attached to a body?”. lol

We turned to see my best friend’s brother’s foot sticking out from behind the wall. He got in trouble, too!

And –

My best friend lived on a dead-end street, on the 3rd floor – and the train tracks were literally right outside her window, so we could see people in the train and the trains going by, and they could see us if we had our heads sticking out of her bedroom window. We used to wave, and some would wave back. Sometimes, if the train conductor saw us, he’d toot the train horn for us. 😊

So, besides bills, and Christmas – my work schedule and other things on my mind, I was searching train videos of all kinds, and the 1977 derailment in my city back then. Long before I was born. I was searching for photos of train tagging’s – and drawings on trains that people have taken photos of, and I have some myself in one of my old phones.

Still – my mind wouldn’t shut up and let me sleep.

Then, I realized I was hungry and had to get up to eat, so I checked on my little guy, and saw – (as usual) – his cat sleeping right next to him – like Simba does every night. 💕

Just a boy and his fur buddy. 😁

I checked on my other two kids, and snuck to the kitchen to grab something little to eat, and here I am.

Writing for the world – that’s probably all sleeping right now. How does it feel?! haha.

I also found myself looking up reviews for different places I shop, eat, etc. I’m telling you – insomnia is real and it will have me all over the internet looking up things that make no sense at the time, but they’re interesting.

After all that, I started thinking about the people at work. From my amazing co-workers to the residents that we take care of and look out for – I adore them all.

The residents in our care – are homeless and have come to stay at our facility upon approval of whoever helps them pay for it – be it insurance, or whatever, and the case manager they work with.

They have to abide by certain rules, and if they follow those rules – they have a place to stay. If they break them – they can be kicked out. The residents in our care have mental health issues, drug and alcohol addictions, Criminal records, and many have had complicated rough lives, but I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else, because our residents are pretty awesome. 💕

As someone who works in the facility, I know that anything can happen on any given day and sometimes – our lives can be put in danger, but I also know that there’s protocol and the police are right on board with arriving quickly if any one of my co-workers or myself need them, especially if someone who isn’t allowed near the facility or on the property – shows up.

Many times – we’re not even thinking about the dangers of working in this facility when we’re there. We’re vigilant and stay alert of course, but I think the communication between all of my co-workers and myself – is beautiful and we all make sure that if we need our lead staff – we can call them and know that they’ll come handle whatever they need to.

I think the worst that has happened – is a few of them having too much to drink, and we may have to get in between them and whoever they’re arguing with, or let it be known that they don’t want to break their lease and get kicked out – so, “Cut it out!”, and many times – they do stop before anything gets too crazy.

I think it’s about building rapport (trust and mutual respect) with the residents that live there, and the staff – and getting to know all of their personalities, so if something does happen – we can step in and deal with each individual on a personal level – knowing they trust a few of us who work there.

I love it.

I love the residents, and I love going to work, and I never thought I’d say that.

I’ve been in the medical field for so long, and I used to hate going to work, but now that I’m in the field of partial Criminal justice / partial community service and dealing with criminals, homeless residents that now live in the facility, drug and alcohol addicted people – it’s such a rewarding job, and I can now honestly say – I love my job!

Just the other day, one of my most awesome residents came up to me and handed me this:

Isn’t it cute?!

He told me he made it for me, and it’s not much – but he thought it was nice.

I absolutely love it and told him that for me – it’s the little things that matter, and that I was going to put it on display on my kitchen counter at home – and I sure did! 😊

Many of them are such sweet and kind people, but because of what they’ve been through and have done in their lives – they need to know they can trust us staff members, and I try to make sure they know they can come to me and I’m going to do whatever I can for them – just like a few of my co-workers who go above and beyond.

It’s not just a paycheck for me!

While I couldn’t sleep, all of that was running through my mind because we have some residents who probably won’t ever get better, get help, or change – and I hate that, but I respect their choices. They’ve been this way for so long, they don’t know any other lifestyle. For some residents – they’re not doing well, and they know they’re not going to be on this earth long, so they choose to live reckless and do what they want to do, and we can’t stop that.

So – where I work – we laugh, we love, we show compassion and kindness and just be there whenever these residents need us.

I thought about work as well. Not just trains, bills, Christmas and whatever else.

Listen, I’ve eaten. I’ve written. It’s 3:13 AM, and I have to be up for work at 5, so I should probably try to again to get some sleep. I know I’ll be drinking a lot of Coffee later today.

I will catch up with all of you and what’s going on in your lives later tonight.

Have a beautiful and blessed day!

💕Shel💕